← The Amy Porterfield Show
The Amy Porterfield Show
#741: Create Your Own Table: How to Plan Your Own Peer-Led Retreats
00:30:33
How to create meaningful connections, plan transformational retreats, and build a powerful community of female entrepreneurs.
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Creating your own little retreat, your meaningful connections with other entrepreneurs isn't about perfection or having it all figured out or being the most successful in the room. It's about taking that first brave step and making the space for something extraordinary. I'm Amy Porterfield, ex corporate girl turned.
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CEO of a multi seven figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget and the time to focus on growing my small but mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned and you'll see the business I have today. One that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible. One that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step by step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur or one in the making who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started.
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Hey there. Welcome back to Online Marketing Made Easy. So I have a challenge for you at the end of this episode and I want you to stay until the end. It's a shorty episode, we'll get through it quickly. But the challenge is important and I think it could up level how you navigate through your business in the new year. So stay with me here. I recently just got back from Napa and let me tell you, it was incredible. And so the thing is, Hobie does not drink. He hasn't drank for like over 20 years and I'm not a big drinker, but I enjoy a few glasses of wine. And I was going to say one glass of wine. I'm like, don't be a liar, Amy. It's it, it's two. I like two glasses of wine when I'm out with my girlfriends and so, so Napa is always a girlfriend place for me because I wouldn't ever really go there with Hobie. I don't think he'd have a lot of fun. But it's such a great place to go with your girlfriends and I've been a few times. Funny enough, I've never been there before I left California. So now that I'm in Nashville, Tennessee, going to Napa is not an easy travel day. But I've gone several times since living in Nashville, so I really missed the opportunity to go when it was little bit easy to travel. So anyway, I just had a really like soul filling experience where I surrounded myself with other entrepreneurial women and we got to dream bigger and think differently and just really talk about what we're prioritizing and what we want to be intentional about in the new year. And spending this time with these women is so important to me because it hasn't always been a natural thing for me to get into community. I hate to admit that, but my introvert times a hundred self really is comfortable staying behind the computer and staying at home and once in a while doing a business event or whatnot. But getting girlfriends together and just spending time with them, I really never prioritized that. But I realized in business I'm better if I surround myself with people that are doing similar things or can understand what it takes to grow a business. They know all the hurdles involved and, and just being able to talk with like minded people has really been a gift. And especially for me, women doing business, I think we have different conversations than I typically have with my male friends. And I think it's important to have these conversations and just share our stories and our experiences, our insights, our advice, all of that. So specifically this episode is if you're a woman spending time with entrepreneurial women, I think that is really the focus I want to put on this. So over the last few years I have been deeply focused on my mental health. Many of you know that if you're an OG of the podcast and I uncovered something about me relating to entrepreneurship and mental health and I just don't think this is talked about enough. But I believe that our mental health and our business success or lack thereof are deeply connected and I think that's a given. Although I don't think we talk about it enough and really make that connection and give our time intentionally to what is needed in order to have a healthy mental state as we're navigating our businesses, so making space for true meaningful connections, it has played just a huge role in maintaining my own mental health and well being. So when we allow ourselves to step away from our laptops and just truly connect with others who again who get it, who are also going through a similar experience as you, building your businesses and going through all the stuff that goes into building a business and also like other people who understand how hard it is to hire and fire and understanding the late nights and the self doubt and the wins and the losses and all of that, it just is really powerful. I think it shifts not only our mindset but also this is the part I really want you to hear the trajectory of our business. I believe that these connections, when they are true and authentic and when you really put Yourself out there. It can uplevel how you navigate through your business in, like, the best possible way. Now, I have to be honest about something. I almost didn't talk about my Napa experience because I don't want to create episodes where it's like, look at me. Look at what I do. I'm so lucky. I've got a great life, which I do. But I also want to just be here for those of you who are navigating building businesses and everything, the good, bad, and ugly that comes with it. And so I want to just always be careful not to only share the highlight reel, because I would say this Napa trip, it goes into the category of a highlight reel. But here's the thing. There's something important in this story I'm about to share with you. These moments of connection with entrepreneurial women who really get it. There's something here I want to share with you. They're not just experiences other people get to have. These are experiences that are for you as well. So I thought, okay, I'll tell you about the trip. I'll tell you what we did. I'll tell you where we stayed. But really, I want you to hear this story and kind of look at it through a lens of, well, if Amy could figure that out, if she could find those friends and be invited to those things, so can I. And so I might be farther along in my business or have a bigger audience than you. Maybe, maybe not. But if I do, that does not mean that you can't be fostering really important entrepreneurial relationships right now. So I just want to put that out there that you absolutely can. And that's why I created this episode. I'm like, I'm going to share, but more importantly, I'm going to encourage you to get into your own groups. So I want to ask you something important. When was the last time you had deep, meaningful connections with other business owners? If you're a female, I'm going to take that one step further with other female business owners. When was the last time that you had concentrated intentional time? Not just an hour over coffee, but maybe a few hours at a retreat during the day, or even better, a few days at some kind of retreat or getaway? And remember, I'm a big fan, and I've talked about this before on the show. I'm a big fan of making your own groups. If you're not getting invited to other groups, you can be the person that invites others to a weekend retreat. Like your peers. You're not charging for it you're all getting together, you're on the same playing field, and you're there to support each other. And I think that's important. So my question is, when was the last time you did this? So whether it's been months since you've had that kind of connection, or maybe you've never experienced it, or maybe you just had coffee with a friend last week, but you want to go deeper. I've got a challenge for you. It's one that might push you out of your comfort zone, but it could also be the game changer you've been looking for in 2025. Okay, so before I dive into the very specifics of this challenge that I've created for you, first, let me tell you what inspired it. So while I was sitting in Napa with this incredible group of women, I realized something powerful. You know, what made that experience possible. One person decided to take the initiative. One person said, I'm going to make this happen and let me give you a little sense of what this Napa retreat looked like. So we intentionally kept it super low key. It was very simple, very manageable. Something, anyone? Yes, even you could create on your own. It doesn't have to look like this, but we didn't make it complicated. So my dear friend and co founder of Glossy, Lori Harder, was the one who reached out to me about this three day retreat, and she wanted to get a group of women entrepreneurs together because she has a relationship with One Hope Winery. And thanks to one of the winery's incredible owners, Tiff Wykovich, who invited Lori and a group of girlfriends to spend time at their basically winery home, we were able to pull this off. And by the way, if you've never heard of One Hope, it isn't your typical winery. Their entire business model is built around making an impact, which made the experience even more meaningful. So one hope donates 10% of every single purchase to causes that their customers care about. They've already donated over $11 million. And they've built school schools in developing countries, funded cancer research, even planted an entire forest in Indonesia. And then they also do local work. I don't know if you remember when Napa had those terrible fires. They supported their community in that as well. So this is something to keep in mind for your own retreat. Let's say you planned a peer retreat with your friends. Choosing a location or choosing some. Some experiences that are tied to a cause or a charity could just add an extra layer of purpose and connection. All right, getting back to the retreat, I arrived On Monday night, we were all together Tuesday and Wednesday, and then I left Thursday morning. So it wasn't a long trip, but it was like perfect timing. And this is what it looked like. We shared all of our meals together, we worked out together, we went on walks together, and we of course talked about our businesses and we spent a lot of time around the fire, sharing stories, sipping wine and just learning about each other. So it wasn't all business, but definitely anytime anyone wanted to talk about business, it was a very natural conversation, which does not happen when you're a mixed company. If you're sitting at a table and let's say everyone there is working a 9 to 5 job, or maybe there's some stay at home dads or stay at home moms or whatever, talking about your business and what you do and the challenges you have, sometimes people are going to look at you like you have two heads. You know this. If you've never been through this, you don't truly respect the challenge, really understand what it takes. I mean, there's a lot of hard things in this world. We're not like the most special as entrepreneurs. I get that. But we do have a unique experience that's very hard to talk to someone who hasn't been in it. So getting together and having these conversations, there was really no pressure, no over the top agenda, just genuine connection and meaningful conversations. And it was a small group. There's just six of us. And here's why I think that matters. The smaller the group, the easier it is to plan and the deeper connections. So I'll come back to that. But I wanted to really set the stage. That's what it was. We came together for a little bit of personal, a lot of business, and all the women were running their own businesses or part of a partnership in the winery for Tiff. And it was just a really great experience and I'm really glad I did it. So let's get back to you. What is this challenge I have for you? Well, what if in 2025, instead of waiting for an invitation to the table, what if you created the table? What if you were the one to plan two retreats next year? Now, the word retreat might be throwing you off again. I'm not talking about a paid mastermind, I'm not talking about a big fancy event, but a peer led gathering of entrepreneurs who can support, inspire and lift each other up. What if right now, you opened up your calendar and blocked off, let's say two weekends now, secretly, I don't do a lot of Weekend work stuff. So I was really happy because this was actually Monday through Thursday and if you do it early enough, you'll make the time for it. I think that's also important. This has been on my calendar for months and months, so I knew it was coming up and I knew I had not planned anything for those dates so I could be fully unplugged. That's another thing. I just as a side note, I won't go down a rabbit hole, but I have been to many types of events and masterminds and retreats like this little weekend getaways or whatever, business wise. And I've always had to do work. I got to get on this call real fast or oh, I've got to go make this social media real or I've got to do this live Q and A and it takes you out of the moment. So this time, and I've done that plenty of times and I'm always hating it when it happens. Like, hey guys, I hope you enjoy the wine. I got to go get on a zoom call. No. And so this time I told my assistant I want nothing to do. I want to be fully present for these basically two and a half days essentially is what it turned out to be. I want to be fully present. And I was. And that felt so good. So if you can swing it, be mindful of that, it makes a very big difference. I wish someone had given me that advice a long time ago.
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My challenge to you is to be the person who creates the opportunity. And you can call it a business mastermind, you can call it just a bunch of girls getting together that are in the same kind of business circle. But telling you this, you might be thinking, amy, I can't do that. That's not me. I'm not really the ringleader who gets everyone together. And what if they say no? And this is going to be awkward. So let me just break down how simple this could be. Number one, if they say no, they're lost in the beautiful words of my friend Mel Robbins. Let them. That's about them, not about you. You'll find your people. It's literally a gift. If someone says no, they weren't right for it anyway. And a lot of times, if you don't do it early enough, a lot of people can't go. Like, dates won't work. There's other women that were invited to this. They just couldn't go to the dates when it worked. So that's something to keep in mind. Get it out there early enough, and if they say no, let them. And I say just start with two nights. Like, keep it really simple. And it could also be local. Say there's something magical, especially if it's a female entrepreneurial group, a small group staying at the same hotel. In this case, One Hope literally gave us their beautiful home. They've built on the winery that their owners use and some of their investors use. So it's multiple rooms. It was absolutely gorgeous. So we all got to stay there in one house, which made it extra special because we had all of our meals together. We got to stay up late, and we just had to walk to our room in the house. Like, it just was a different vibe. That normally isn't the case. I normally am at, like, hotels. But if you do local, the only downside of that is if everyone goes to their home at nighttime and then comes back, it takes you out of the experience. It's almost distracting. You have to be like, mom, if you have kids, or you just have to get on with your regular life and then go back where. I'd rather you just, like, have 48 hours to just immerse yourself in it, if possible. But if the only option here is local, then at least do that. And then everyone covers their own costs, so their own flights, hotel, meals. This One Hope thing was very unique. Typically, we're all pitching in for meals and paying for our own hotel and flight and all that. And then I like a somewhat structured agenda that has a lot of space. Space in it. So I like to know, okay, if, like, we didn't do hot seats on this trip, we ran out of time. But if we did, I love to say, okay, on day one, we're going to do three hot seats. Day four, we're going to do five hot seats, whatever. I do like that. But do whatever works for you. However, I'll say, if it's too relaxed, sometimes people are like, what are we doing? I left my family, I left my kids. This was expensive for me. Like, what is our plan here? So if you invite people, I'd be very clear. I'm putting together a two day trip to xyz. It's for my friends who are entrepreneurial women. And this is what we're going to do. And I'd say like have meals together, do hot seats, talk about our businesses, you know, troubleshoot with each other. We're probably going to work out together, go on some walks, whatever it is, but let them know why you're coming together and what it's about. Because sometimes people don't want to talk about business. They're burned out and they don't want to. They wouldn't be a good fit for this. So don't make it a big like two paragraph. This is everything we're going to do, but give them a sense of what's going on. And also, when you are planning this retreat, I'd recommend keeping it to like six to eight people. I think six was perfect. It just creates a great environment that people can feel like they can be vulnerable, they can connect with everyone, which means more honest, authentic conversations come out of that. The bigger the group, the more people hold back because they haven't really connected with everyone and they feel like they can't really control the conversation in that sense where control is a weird word, but you know what I mean, when there's less people, it just feels a little bit safer. So if you think like, wait, a small number kind of makes me nervous. Maybe you're worried that people will feel left out if you don't invite them. I totally get it. I'm sure Lori had to deal with this. I've put groups together where I hurt two people's feelings and to this day it just kills me. And the goal was to keep it at a certain number, so I had to cut it off at one point. And so the people pleaser in me and that very compassionate heart doesn't love this part. And so I just know how uncomfortable it can be to face the reality that you can't include everyone. It's a very tough feeling. But it's also an opportunity to focus on creating something truly special for those who are there. And you could always plan another one and invite a different group. So just be mindful of that. And when you are putting together your guest list, I want you to remember that you're not excluding, you're being intentional. Ask yourself, why do I want each person in this room? How will they contribute to and benefit from the group dynamic. Is this a group that makes sense? Will these women likely really get along and really connect? So I think that part is really good. So you might want to think outside the box with your invites. Maybe you're inviting someone that normally you're like, oh, I've never really connected with them, but I think they'd be so great for this group. I bet they would love an invite. So all the women or people don't need to know each other, just for the record. And the goal is that they connect and get to know each other. Speaking of that, I did not realize when I showed up that one of the participants in our mastermind was going to be Tiff. Who? She's one of the owners of One Hope Winery. Her business model completely different from what most of us are doing in the digital space. So while I'm over here creating courses and memberships and running a podcast, she's building a physical product empire and creating this incredible community of ambassadors for her brand marketing. So we do very different things. But hearing her unique perspective on marketing and how she's built this community and what that looks like, and hearing some of the challenges she's gone through, it was really insightful for me. So I do think there's a lot of value. Everyone doesn't have to do exactly what you do in the group. And also having people from kind of different niches and different business models, I think it's a plus. There's magic in bringing in different business models to the table. You get, like, unexpected aha moments. And here's another thing. When I go into these. Whether you plan it or you're invited to one, I always say walk away with one big takeaway that you're going to apply right away. Just one takeaway is all I need in order to really get the most out of this. So I'm not looking for an action list of 20 things I need to do when I leave. That's not not the vibe we're going for. We're looking to uplevel, but we're not looking to add a bunch of things to our list. Okay, so I'm almost going to wrap up. When you're planning your own retreat, think about how can I bring together people who might approach business differently than I do? Be sure to invite people who are ahead of you in certain areas. So whether it's business size, experience, revenue, expertise, you don't want to be the smartest person in the room. You actually want to surround yourself with people who will challenge you inspire you, show you what's possible, and really just offer insight. But you also want to offer that insight as well. And then putting together your invite list, I'd encourage you to think about diversity. Include people from different industries, backgrounds, cultures, perspectives. I think that makes it even better. I haven't always been in the diverse groups, but it's something that's often top of mind for me. So if I'm going to create it, I will focus on that as well. I think you just gain insights that may have never been considered. The group will benefit from the variety of voices and ideas at the table. It's totally worth it. All right, so once you've got your invite list, the next step is to send out your invitations. And when you do, I suggest including more than just the dates and location. Remember, I said, let's set the expectations. Let people know what it's about. Really loose, simple agenda. But I think it's important that they know the goal of this so that they show up in the right mindset. And then when it comes to the agenda, don't feel like it has to be super rigid. As I mentioned, I like some structure with a lot of space, as I mentioned. So you can maybe propose a mix of downtime, informal discussions, the meals, focused activities like hot seats. It's all about creating a balance of structure and flexibility that allows for both connection and inspiration to naturally unfold. So let your guests know. Here's what I'm thinking. Let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions so it doesn't have to be all on you. And if you're wondering how to foster connection within the group on your retreat without having a super rigid agenda, here's one approach I learned from my mentor, Michael Hyatt. I love this when he gets people together, even, like, when we're just friends. But it's a big group. He creates intentional conversations during the meals. So you choose one thoughtful question for the table, and then everyone goes around and answers it and just kind of shares their thoughts around that. This way people aren't in, like, little conversations where other people can't hear. And then maybe someone, like, doesn't have anyone to talk to. So I think even just one night, if you go to dinner, choose a really thoughtful question and then go around the whole table. And it usually takes a good 30, 40 minutes if the conversation's really good. So definitely worth it. I always love it. I love when they do that. Okay, so to wrap up this shorty episode that definitely was longer than I intended, do you See how doable this is. Creating your own little retreat, your meaningful connections with other entrepreneurs isn't about perfection or having it all figured out or being the most successful in the room. It's about taking that first, first brave step in making the space for something extraordinary. So my challenge for you today is to plan two of these in 2025. So this challenge is designed to put you in the driver's seat of creating your own. Look at my life, pinch me moments that you can absolutely do. Don't worry about being invited to them. Create your table. Don't overthink it. You do not need every detail mapped out. You just want to get started. I promise you, the magic happens when you say, I'm going to make this happen. And if two feels like a lot, do one. Even doing one, now that I think about it, even doing one next year, when you've never done this before is great. And then after you do that first one, maybe someone in the group you could say, who wants to plan the next one that might be even better. I just thought about that right now. So just start with one maybe, and with the intention of hopefully being a part of two next year. So I do think, like, one early on in the year, one later in the year is always great. And maybe it's just with two different groups of people. Even I do have one group that there's just three of us that we've gotten together a few times. So me and two other women, we've done that, I think twice. That's really valuable as well. So it doesn't always have to be a big one. So after this episode ends in one minute, your work begins. Ask yourself, who do you need to be to take the first step? How do you need to show up? What's holding you back? What fears are coming up for you when you think about putting something like this together? And if you spend a little moment answering those questions, I think it will unlock the momentum that you need to move forward, because I have no doubt in my mind you've got this. And I think it's such a gift to the people that are going to be included as well. So I believe in you. I know you're capable of creating something just one wonderful. So take the challenge, be bold, create the table, invite the guest, and watch the magic unfold. This is your time. I want you to make this happen, and I do believe it will help you become a stronger, better entrepreneur. All right, my friend, I'll see you on Thursday for more entrepreneurial goodness. Bye for now.