#747: How to Take Your Rightful Seat At The Table with Anthony O’Neal

Summary

Podcast Summary: Online Marketing Made Easy with Amy Porterfield
Episode #747: How to Take Your Rightful Seat At The Table with Anthony O’Neal
Release Date: January 14, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode and Guest

In Episode #747 of the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast, host Amy Porterfield welcomes back a familiar and cherished guest, Anthony O’Neal. Amy sets the stage by expressing her excitement for the conversation, highlighting Anthony's personable nature and their deep-rooted friendship. The episode delves into Anthony’s latest endeavors, particularly his newly released book titled "Take Your Seat at the Table: Live an Authentic Life of Abundance, Wellness, and Freedom."

Anthony’s Background and Journey

Anthony O’Neal, a renowned personal finance expert and bestselling author of "Debt Free Degree," has dedicated his career to empowering individuals to achieve financial independence and break generational wealth gaps. Since joining the show previously, Anthony has expanded his influence, amassing nearly 2 million subscribers across various platforms. He emphasizes his commitment to serving less fortunate and minority communities by teaching financial literacy, wealth-building strategies, and debt elimination.

[04:30] Anthony O’Neal: "I left my former situation to really focus on a less fortunate and minority community... built a multiple seven-figure business with the help of some of Amy's wisdom and knowledge over the last few years."

Taking Your Seat at the Head of Your Table

The core theme of the episode centers around the metaphor of "taking a seat at the head of your table," which symbolizes taking control of one’s life and finances. Anthony shares a pivotal moment when a journalist questioned him about his personal achievements beyond his professional contributions, prompting a deep self-reflection.

[09:00] Anthony O’Neal: "I got to take the seat at the head of my table. I think a lot of people... they feel the same way. They’re tired of settling for the bare minimum."

Balancing 9 to 5 Jobs and Building a Side Business

Amy and Anthony discuss the challenges of maintaining a full-time job while nurturing a side business. Anthony recounts the inspiring story of a friend who balanced her corporate aspirations with personal goals, ultimately resigning to pursue her entrepreneurial dreams without financial strain.

[15:34] Anthony O’Neal: "Take a seat at the head of your table. No, your 9 to 5 can still be a part of your table... consume something that's going to help you build."

The Role of Money in Personal Freedom

Anthony articulates the role of money as a tool rather than an end goal. He stresses the importance of financial independence in enabling individuals to make life choices free from monetary constraints.

[17:18] Anthony O’Neal: "Money is a tool, money is a resource, but it should not be the end all, be all for everybody."

Financial Disciplines and Planning

Emphasizing disciplined financial planning, Anthony introduces the "6 P's" principle: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance. He advocates for monthly budgeting and proactive financial management to avoid detrimental money decisions.

[23:57] Anthony O’Neal: "6 P's. Proper prior planning prevents poor performances. If you sit down and you properly budget... it’s going to prevent you from making bad money decisions in the future."

Additionally, Anthony shares a personal anecdote about resisting an impulsive real estate investment, showcasing the necessity of self-discipline in maintaining financial stability.

[22:41] Anthony O’Neal: "I had to be disciplined enough to tell myself no. I had to go back and tell my bankers no and sell the land back because I couldn't do it."

Building the Right Support System and Removing Unhelpful Influences

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around curating a support system that aligns with one’s personal and professional goals. Anthony advises on the importance of surrounding oneself with mentors, emotional coaches, and professionals who contribute positively to one’s vision. He also discusses the sometimes difficult decision to distance oneself from relationships that no longer serve their growth.

[29:24] Anthony O’Neal: "Before you can invite people to your table, you're going to have to remove some people from your table."

Practical Advice on Financial Freedom and Lifestyle Design

Anthony provides actionable steps for listeners to achieve financial freedom and design a fulfilling life:

1. Eliminate Consumer Debt: Prioritize paying off debts to reduce financial burdens.
2. Build Savings: Accumulate three to six months’ worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account.
3. Invest Wisely: Allocate 10-15% of gross income towards investments to grow wealth.
4. Strategic Budgeting: Incorporate personal goals into budgeting, such as setting aside funds for meaningful activities like dating.
5. Intentional Living: Make deliberate choices that reflect one’s vision and values, rather than succumbing to societal pressures or external expectations.

[35:01] Anthony O’Neal: "My goal is... if you can see that I'm sticking to the vision that I have in my life and that I'm taking that seat at the head of my table, then you will know that this man ain't gonna let no other man, woman, job, culture... remove him from the seat at the head of his table."

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

In wrapping up the episode, Amy and Anthony reiterate the importance of integrating business growth with overall well-being. Anthony urges listeners to not only consume educational content but to actively apply the principles shared in his book to transform their lives.

[36:16] Anthony O’Neal: "If you apply what you get inside this book, this time next year, you're going to have a much better life. You're going to see so much more freedom and joy and peace in your life."

Amy concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace a holistic approach to life, balancing business ambitions with personal wellness and financial health.

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Key Quotes

• Anthony O’Neal [04:30]: "I built a multiple seven-figure business with the help of some of Amy's wisdom and knowledge over the last few years."

• Anthony O’Neal [09:00]: "I got to take the seat at the head of my table... they’re tired of settling for the bare minimum."

• Anthony O’Neal [17:18]: "Money is a tool, money is a resource, but it should not be the end all, be all for everybody."

• Anthony O’Neal [23:57]: "Proper prior planning prevents poor performances."

• Anthony O’Neal [29:24]: "Before you can invite people to your table, you're going to have to remove some people from your table."

• Anthony O’Neal [35:01]: "If you can see that I'm sticking to the vision that I have in my life... you will know that this man ain't gonna let no other man, woman, job, culture... remove him from the seat at the head of his table."

• Anthony O’Neal [36:16]: "If you apply what you get inside this book... you're going to have a much better life."

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for entrepreneurs and professionals seeking to gain control over their financial and personal lives. Anthony O’Neal’s insights, paired with Amy Porterfield’s adept hosting, offer a roadmap to achieving financial independence, personal fulfillment, and authentic living. Listeners are encouraged to engage deeply with the strategies discussed, implement disciplined financial practices, and cultivate a supportive network that aligns with their vision for the future.

Transcript

[A]

6P'S proper prior planning prevents poor performances. So if you sit down and you properly budget, and I do talk about budgeting inside the book, it's going to prevent you from making bad money decisions in the future. So this is something I do every single month is I sit down and I sit at the head of my table from a practical standpoint. And at the end of every month, I write out the plan for next month financially. And I love it because I get so much freedom when I do that.

[B]

I'm Amy Porterfield, ex corporate girl turned CEO of a multi seven figure business. But it wasn't all that long ago that I lacked the confidence, the budget and the time to focus on growing my small but mighty business. Fast forward past many failed attempts and lessons learned and you'll see the business I have today. One that changes lives and gives me more freedom than I ever thought possible. One that used to only exist as a daydream. I created the Online Marketing Made Easy podcast to give you simple, actionable, step by step strategies to help you do the same. If you're an ambitious entrepreneur or one in the making who's looking to create a business that makes an impact and a life you love, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started. Well, hey there. Welcome back to another episode of Online Marketing Made Easy. I'm your host, Amy Porterfield and today we are talking about a topic that is so timely at this time of the year. So if you're listening to this episode, when it goes live, then you know we just entered into the very beginning of 2025 and I don't know about you, but I love a new beginning. I love change. Well, when it's in my favor, right? I love change. I love new beginnings, I love casting new visions. And my guest today is going to help us do all of that. He's been on the show before and I have to tell you, he actually is a very good friend of mine. I, at the end of this interview, I told him, you just bring out my true personality. He makes interviews so fun, like you're just in a room together, maybe having a glass of wine, having a little fun together and just shooting the you know what together. And that's why I loved this conversation. It felt so casual and personal and I think you're going to love it as well. So let me just tell you about my guest, if you maybe are new to Anthony O'Neal. So Anthony is a number one national bestseller author of Debt Free Degree. He's a personal Finance expert and the host of the very popular podcast which I have been on and it has a YouTube show, it's called the Table. So since 2014, he has challenged cultural norms and equipped millions of people to live a debt free life and also break generational wealth gaps and build true wealth. Now he's appeared on so many different shows. Good morning America, he was live with Kelly and Mark, Fox and Friends, cnn. Like he's been everywhere and so people want to hear what he has to say. Now what I think is really cool is that in 2023, just 2023 alone, his show received 21 million views and 5.3 million downloads. That's a very big deal. And so he's empowered people to have financial success all over the world. And he also is a really great public speaker. So you might have seen him on stage. But why is he coming on the show today? Well, he just released a book, literally today called take your seat at the table, Live an authentic life of abundance, wellness and freedom. And some of his philosophies are so perfectly aligned with mine in my book, two weeks notice. So if you happen to read my book, this is such a great book that's in alignment but goes beyond what my book talks about. So I thought that was really cool as well. I won't make you wait another minute. Let's welcome my dear friend Anthony to the show. Well, hey there, Anthony. Welcome back to the show.

[A]

Yo, Amy. I'm back with Amy Porterfield. Man, I can't tell you I was excited about this one.

[B]

I've been waiting for you to come back and we've got a good topic today, so we're going to jump into it. But before we do, I want you to tell people a little bit about your background, how you got started and how it led to where you are today. And we're going to talk about the topic of your book. So how did it lead you to that as well?

[A]

You know, man, not to repeat too much because we covered a lot on your show the very first time I was on. But guess to give them a little bit of update, you know, I am now in the beautiful DMV area. I live in Maryland. And I am passionate because, you know, I left my former situation to really focus on a less fortunate and minority community. And so I've been really, really big as far as in going back into like high schools and middle schools and colleges and, and teaching them about financial literacy and financial management to the point to where now, man, we have grown massively close to 2 million total subscribers across all of our platforms. And we're taking this message of no consumer debt inside of these particular communities. And we're teaching them how to build wealth without racking up consumer debt. How to get in real estate, how to start a business, how to pay off debt. It's been, it's been a complete journey. But the biggest thing though, I think that is really helping me of where we are now to where when I first met you, it was just me and one other person, Amy, in the basement of my town home today. Now we have a full blown studio, 10 employees, built a multiple seven figure business with the help of some of your wisdom and knowledge over the last few years. But I think the greatest thing I'm excited about is I'm actually back in school. I completed my bachelor's and I'm back in school getting my executive MBA in church management. And this is what I love about it because everyone who follows me knows that I'm a church guy is I wanted to make sure that not only am I helping consumers on the outside, but I can go into churches. And one of the biggest things that I see the problem with the church world is they focus so much on tithes and offerings. And I said, you know what? I want to learn how to help churches not have to rely on tithe and offerings. But they can go out there and buy real estate, maybe buy open building and put business in there. And now those businesses have to pay them rent. Now they don't have to really stress for tithe and offerings as much. They can focus on helping people and serving people and we can help churches do that. Then individuals will come to church. It's like, man, they're not stressing over tithe and offerings, they're teaching me more. Now that person wants to give more because it's a healthier environment. So I'll be graduating my executive MBA December. I finished classes in December and I walk in May. And so I gotta let you know a year in advance, Amy, that if you and your husband can make it, if I gotta fly you on a private jet or something, I need you in Virginia at this graduation. Because, Amy, 20 years ago I was a college dropout, homeless, sleeping in the back of my car. And 20 something years later I will be an executive MBA graduate student, also an adjunct professor at an HBCU running a seven figure business. And so I'm just extremely grateful that I have this opportunity to do it. And again, I got to tell your listeners, man, y'all, if y'all are not listening to Amy Porterfield. Every time she comes out with a show, you all have to. Because this woman, she doesn't know I'm saying it. She's looking at me right now saying, anthony, stop it. But I got to say it for my sister, because what she's teaching you all online, she lives it. She practices it. And listen, y'all, she invited me to her home for a whole day, gave me some of the best pizza, and has literally helped me grow my business, launch my book, and she's just such a blessing, y'all. And when she love you, Amy, love you, she'll text you out of nowhere and like, yo, how are you? How are you doing? And so this is the spirit of the woman who we get to listen to every week. So we love you over here, Amy.

[B]

Well, I'm gonna invite you back every week. Now, that works for me. Definitely the fact that you remember the pizza is the.

[A]

Oh, man. It was crazy. I don't think you remember that day. But, like, y'all, Amy is a dreamer and a visionary. Like, she's gonna sit on the couch, and she's gonna cross her leg up underneath her left leg. But then around her whole office, y'all, she's gonna have white sheets of paper around the whole thing, and we're gonna white. We're gonna write all over them.

[B]

It was fun.

[A]

It was fun.

[B]

That was a good day.

[A]

I see why you're the queen of marketing. You just. You know it.

[B]

Thank you, my friend. That was really fun. Well, you're back on the show today because we are talking about something different this time.

[A]

We are.

[B]

You think that we all need to take a seat at the head of the table, and I want to know, what does that mean? And why is it important?

[A]

You know what, Amy? Me and you have a similar story. You worked for a huge name, and I had the opportunity to work for a huge name.

[B]

Ramsey.

[A]

Yep. Ramsey. Who I love dearly. Like, who I absolutely love.

[B]

You do.

[A]

One day, I had the opportunity to sit down with a particular magazine, and they was like, hey, man, you've helped this organization build. You've helped this church build their legacies. You've helped all these people build, you know what I'm saying, Their legacies. And they asked me this question, and for the very first time, because I'm a black preacher, so I could talk. But on this time, I couldn't talk. She said, anthony, what have you built for yourself? And I couldn't answer the question, because I was like, wait, what have I built for Myself, I spent the last 15 years serving amazing people who are doing amazing things from churches, from pastors, from corporations. And I went home that night, Amy, and I couldn't sleep for three days. I remember waking up one night saying, yo, write down, what do you have? I wrote down a 401k, I wrote down my house, and I wrote down life insurance. And what else did I write down? Oh, and the savings that I had. But I was like, that's it. And I was like, man, am I sitting at the head of my life? Like, am I coming home from the 9 to 5 situation and building something that I own that my family 100% will benefit from? Or is everything that I have attached to another man or to another woman? And I was like, that's not. That's not for me. That's not the purpose of my life. And that's not me sitting at the head of my table. That's me sitting at the side of my table and allowing my bosses, allowing culture, allowing banks, allowing other people to tell me what I can and can't do with my life. And so that's when I realized that, you know, I got to take the head. I got to take a seat at the head of my life, at the head of my table. And yes, if I have a 9 to 5 job, they sit at the table with me because they're going to be aligned with where I want to go, but they're not going to tell me, yo, you can't take off and go to. And not go to your son's basketball game. No, you can't take off and go on a field trip with your daughter. No, you can't take off because you owe me $25,000. So you need to get a second job when you get off of your first job. And I said, man, I'm going to take the seat at the head of my table. I think a lot of people listening to your podcast and to me in some way or form fashion, Amy, they feel the same way. It's like, man, I really don't control my life. I have to do these things. And they're tired of settling for the bare minimum. They're tired of. Of having to report to everybody. They're tired of. Watch this. Everyone gets the fruit of their labor, and then themselves and their family gets the leftovers.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I want them to get the fruit.

[B]

Okay, you're speaking my language, my friend. Why we love each other so much. So talk to the person who's in a 9 to 5 job and needs that money to One Live right now, but also get that online business or the business off the ground. What are they doing? How do they navigate their career but still sit at the head of their table?

[A]

You know, one of the very first things that I would tell people is that you got to have a vision. You got to have a clear vision. It was so funny. I would say about almost seven years ago, one of my good friends, she came into Starbucks. We always meet up because we go to the same church. And I grew up with her. And she's like, anthony, I'm so excited. I was like, what's up, sis? She was like, oh, my gosh. My boss told me that over the next seven years, I can go from making 80,000 to $200,000 if year one, I do this, and year two, I do this, in year three, I'll be an executive director, and by year five, I'll be an executive VP, that I could be a VP by the time I'm turning XYZ. I said, yo, that's dope. He said, yeah, but he also told me that I can't have a baby throughout these next seven years.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

And I was like, hold up. I said, wait, wait, wait. He told you what there? He said, if I'm going to grow to this point and make this kind of money, I can have a baby. So I said, pause. Last time you told me that the vision for you and your family was y'all would have a baby within two years. She was like, right? I said, he told you that the next seven years, what you're going to do with your life? Did he even ask you what you want to do with your life? They even ask you, when did you and your new husband wanted to have kids? No, what he told you was what you're going to do with your life that's going to benefit his company, but it doesn't benefit your life. And you know how y'all ladies can be. Amy, when y'all get excited, y'all show the facial transition expression. Like, she was excited to like, I'm about to cut you out. And I was like, don't get upset with me. I ain't do nothing.

[B]

And, Anthony, I gotta pause you real fast. That question really pisses me off because he would not say that to a man. And you know how I feel for the ladies. And, you know, you're. You fight for men and women, but I know you talk to the guys a lot, and I talk to the ladies. That really gets me going. So keep going.

[A]

What.

[B]

What happened There it got me going.

[A]

Too, because I'm feeling for my brother who I already knew he wanted a kid with the next two years.

[B]

Good point.

[A]

And so she leaned back and she got that cup of coffee and she said, you're absolutely right, this dude. And she didn't say dude, I can't really say what she said. Yeah, she was like this, you fill in the blank. Doesn't care about my life at all. And I was like, he doesn't. And so she went home and Amy, to answer your question, she went home and her and her husband came up with a two year vision. They said, okay, this is what we're going to do. And by the end of these two years, we're going to go on this job and you're going to serve and you're going to work your behind off and you're going to be the best employee that you possibly can. But we still going to have our baby within two years. When she got pregnant, it's time for her to leave her maternity leave. She walked in and she resigned from the job. She didn't even take the three. The three, whatever, y'all get paid off. She said, no, no, no, maternity leave, maternity leave. What she was doing during that time was when she got home, she was building a contracting business on doing the same thing she was doing for the business but doing it on the side for other businesses. So by the time that she left, she went from making right around $125,000 where her business started off after pregnancy, right around $150,000. And but then now today I was just asking her because I know, I said, I'm gonna share this story. Her business is doing right at a half a million dollars, working from home, only working one day a week.

[B]

And so she figured out something I haven't.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. And so when I tell people, take a seat at the head of your table, no, your 9 to 5 can still be a part of your table. Okay, but when you come home, what are you doing to, to work the vision for where you want to go. So I'm not saying don't leave it because I think everybody needs a Scottie Pippen. If you know anything about basketball, Michael Jordan would not have won the championships without Scottie Pippen. So every job, every Amy Porterfield, Anthony O'Neill, etcetera, needs a right hand person. And there are people who are called for that. But what I tell people in my job is, listen, you're never, you will never make as much money as me working for me. But what I do want to do is empower you and partner with you to build something on the side that when you go home, your family owns it and Anthony O'Neill can't touch it. So get all the wisdom and knowledge that you can hear. But what is your vision for your family? That you can own that. And I don't want people to come home and jump on tv, jump on social media and consume all this other stuff that's not building them anything. No, go home, consume something that's going to help you build and maximize all the gifts and the talents that you have on the inside of you.

[B]

Oh, I love that. I love how you were able to weave in their 9 to 5 job. Like it wasn't quit now. I mean, obviously I wrote the book two weeks notice and I also wasn't like quit today. You've got to get a vision, you've got to get a plan. So you and I are definitely on the same page. But what I didn't talk about in my book that you do is money. We talk about money. I mean, this is your area of expertise. But it seems like money's going to help you take that seat at the head of the table. How can people put it in the rightful place?

[A]

You know, money is a tool, money is a resource, but it should not be the end all, be all for everybody. What I talk about in the book here in the chapter of take a seat at the head of your finances is that when you think about it, how many mothers are getting up every single day, getting in line to drop off their son or daughter all the time once they get in line to drop off their son and daughter. Pause right there, Amy. Before I finish this story, I had to drop off my niece and my nephew to school one day. Okay, and listeners, y'all gotta forgive me because I didn't understand what happens at this stuff. I gained a whole new respect for our mothers out there. They said, hey, this, your, your, your nephews and niece need to be at school by 8:00. It's only 15 minutes for me. So I leave my house at 7:45. Wrong decision. I get in this long line of cars and I'm like, it's 7:45. I'm thinking we'll get there by at least. No, no, no. We didn't get to the front of the school until 8:20. And because I got there after 8:00, I had to go inside and check. I said, okay, cool, great. So now I know. Next time you need to get in line a little bit earlier. They said, well, hey, you got to pick them up by 3pm in the afternoon. I said, cool, no problem. I get there at 2:50 and the line is wrapped around the building and I'm sitting in line for 40 minutes.

[B]

Oh, geez.

[A]

I said, you know what, mothers? I have a whole nother respect for our mothers who do this on a daily basis. And I laugh because when I told my God sister, she was like, hey, yo. Yeah, if it's at 3, you better be there by 10, 2:30, 2:15 if you really want to be in line. And I was like, this is crazy. Don't, don't. No, no, no, no. And so let me finish the story. And so now you know, you do that every single day. You got to get there early, pick them up early, etc, then you got to go to work. Then you got to deal with people who you really don't care for. They get on your nerves, deal with customers, et cetera. And you do that for five days a week. You're doing that for five days a week because you got to pay bill.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so it's like now it's like, wait a minute, what if he didn't have so much debt? What if he didn't have so much bondage? What if you had a good year's worth of savings sitting inside of, you know, your, your high yield savings account and you're more drowning with debt? How would you walk differently into that job? Would you even still stay on that job if you, if you had the money? Because let me tell you something, Amy. When I walked into my job when I had money, I was like, man, say something. I want you to say something. So I was like, you know, let's have this conversation. And so when I did resign, man, I don't tell people my business, man, I was sitting good financially and I was able to resign with peace because I had already prepared, I had the vision, and I was already preparing for the next season of my life. And that's what talk about with money. Use money as a tool to get to where you want to go. You talk about it inside of your book of using a job and getting the side hustle and how to profit from it. So I'm teaching, okay, once you get Amy's book, because y'all still gotta get Amy's book. If you haven't gotten it, once you get that book and you learn how to make the money, I'm going to teach you how to use the money. And you Walk differently. And so for me, simple, simple terms. Yeah, it's simple. Get out of consumer debt. Go ahead and get you a full three to six months of a net pay sitting inside of a high yield savings account. Start investing at least 10 to 15% of your gross income. So that way, now you're activating this tool to duplicate and to make more money for you. When you do that, you allow the money to remove from the head of your life to now it's just on the side of your life. And you are now bringing in a financial advisor. You're bringing in an accountant that's helping you multiply and steward this money well, to where now it's become a tool and a resource, and it's not your navigation system and telling you what to do with your life because you owe so many people.

[B]

Perfectly said that. That vision of you walking in and say, talk to me, I dare you. That power. You're right. You will Never leave your 9 to 5 job and take a seat at the head of your table when you're worried about money every turn. So in your book, when you talk about financial disciplines, are those the disciplines you're talking about, where you just said.

[A]

Okay, and the discipline is really coming from. The main discipline I talk about inside the book is how do you tell yourself? No, I think a lot of us lie to ourselves.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

We don't tell ourselves the truth. And I did that two. Two years ago. Man. Amy. I walked in, I saw this beautiful land. I've always said, I want to live on a golf course or I want to live on a lake. Well, about maybe three blocks away from my current house right now, a piece of land came available for about $1 million. That. And it's on the Potomac River. So it's literally the backyard. 10ft, you're walking and your feet is in lock. I said, that's sexy. That's just beautiful. I like that. So I go and I buy the land. Well, I go and I buy the land, and I'm like, okay, cool. I want to build a house where a house was already approved to build on it. Because in the DMV area, you got to get approval to build a house with the dock because it's going out into the lake. So they had already got approved. Well, the builder told me, or the person who was selling me the land, who built the house, who had the drawings for the house, yeah, it'll cost you about another million dollars. I said, okay, that's easy. I can do that. But when I get with the builder. The builder says $2.8 million. So mind you, I've already paid a million dollars for the land. That's 3.8 million. The bank approves me.

[B]

So you're good, right?

[A]

I said, well, sure, I got approved.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, I could do this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm looking. It's these. I got approved. I can do this. And I literally woke up one day and I said, you are lying to yourself. You trying to buy. You're trying to get a building movie studio in. You're trying to save for a wife and for a family, and you're going to spend $20,000 a month on a mortgage. That's not wise, Anthony. You can't do that. Can you afford to do it practically? Maybe so, but can you afford to take away from other important things? No. And so I had to be disciplined enough to tell myself no. I had to be disciplined enough to go out and go back and tell my bankers no and to sell the land back because I was like, y'all, I can't do it. And thankfully, because I did it right on time, because I found that the city didn't approve him to sell the land yet, I was able to back out of buying a landing. But it's all about having self discipline that is going to prevent heartache and pain down the road. Another discipline to have. And I give you one more. Practically, I don't talk about this inside of the book because I talked about it in another book that I wrote. But you got to have discipline when it comes to proper prior planning, and that prevents poor performances.

[B]

Okay, one more time.

[A]

Six P's. Proper prior planning prevents poor performances. So if you sit down and you properly budget, and I do talk about budgeting inside the book, it's going to prevent you from making bad money decisions in the future. So this is something I do every single month, is I sit down and I sit at the head of my table from a practical standpoint. And at the end of every month, I write out the plan for next month financial. And I love it because I get so much freedom when I do that. Now, this is fun. I can tell you, my big sister, I can always say this. Well, I think one of the reasons why I'm still single, Amy, why I'd love to know.

[B]

This is going to be fun.

[A]

It's because I have a budget.

[B]

What? What do you. Wait, what do you mean?

[A]

So inside of my budget, when I properly priorly plan for the next month, I set a line item on my budget for Dating. And it's no more than $150.

[B]

Oh, so you're saying you're not spending a lot of money. Bunch of dates. So you have probably fewer dates.

[A]

I have fewer days. And when I do have those fewer days, when people know, and they look me up and say, oh, that's the Anthony O'Neill guy. He ain't got no debt. And he got this. Got that. Why he taking me here today? So they're kind of turned off because I'm not taking them to where they think I should take them based upon my name.

[B]

Okay, can we talk about this then? Like, if. If I was single and you took me out on a date, I would. I would want you to wine and dine me. So what's going on here?

[A]

But here's the thing of what I've learned is it's easy for a man of. Of means to just spend a lot of money on you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It is hard for a man to be intentional about the date. So for me, what I've learned is, yeah, I can go out there and drop 500 on a date, but there's no intention behind it. My assistant can call, set up the appointment. I pick you up, take you over there, have something to eat, take you back home. That's the day that's whack, in my opinion. But for me, what I do is I'm very intentional. I stretch my mind, I stretch my mental, and I say, you know what? Okay, what is Amy like? She says she like this. She said she liked that. Okay. She likes roses. Okay. She likes this. Prime example. Sticking within the the budget. Sticking within. Saying it headed my whole life, this young lady said, man, I'm very big in museums, and I love scavenger hunts. I said, word. So I googled scavenger hunts. Fun scavenger hunts. Well, Groupon came up with a scavenger hunt of museums in downtown Nashville. Interesting. The scavenger hunt per person was $20, so I paid $40 plus tax, and everything comes to, like, $45. And what it was is once you get to the first destination, you got a text, and I gave them her number. So when we got there, she got the text message saying, hey, welcome to Nashville, Tennessee, downtown. Your first location is this, and you need to find xyz. Her eyes lit up like, oh, this is dope. So we go into the first museum. We go there. It even sends us, Amy, to the bars. Like, hey, you gotta find this inside the bar. There's a picture inside of there. And when you find It. You gotta take a shot. I was like, oh, this is dope. So now we leave. Then we go to another restaurant. Hey, you gotta find this. When you do this, you gotta try this appetizer. And it was already included. She was just blown away that I. She thought that I had someone texting her all this information, but not. It only cost me 45. Because you said you like museums and scavenger hunts.

[B]

Now, I'm loving this. I am loving this intentionality. We should have married her. She would have wanted to marry you. You might not have wanted to marry her.

[A]

Hey, yeah, she wanted me bad. But, you know, she.

[B]

No doubt, no doubt, my friend.

[A]

But, I mean, it's like, for me, and that. Those are the kind of things that I think when you stick to the vision, you have to get creative, and you got to get intentional. And that's one thing I talk about in the book, that if you're going to take the seat at the head of your life, you can't allow someone else to come in and to tell you what to do and how to think. And so, just like you, Amy, you my big sister. I know you're just playing, but typically, a lot of my sisters say that, like, yo, you better wine and dine me. Well, I'm going to wine and dine you the way that I can wine and dine you. And if you don't like that, I respect that. Because my goal is. Is that if you can see that I'm stored in my money. Well, my goal is if you can see that I'm sticking to the vision that I have in my life and that I'm taking that seat at the head of my table, and not even you can move me from that. Then you will know that this man ain't gonna let no other man, woman, job, culture, whatever, remove him from the seat at the head of his table. So if I marry him, I'm sitting across him, and I can trust his leadership and I can partner with him, and we can work together and build something substantial. And so that's really my goal when it comes to dating. And I'll find it. I'm 40 years old. I'm still young. I can find me somebody. Hopefully, she'll be. Well, I'm gonna be quiet.

[B]

I was like, where are you going with that? I know you like a woman in a golf skirt. And, yes, a lot of. Lot of crap for that online.

[A]

Yes, ma'am. I. Man, yes, Yes, I love golfing. I just wanted a nice little golf skirt or, you know, let's say it properly. I want her in a nice golf outfit and just come out there and let's go. If you can't golf, just drive a golf cart with me and be on your phone. Okay. Listen to Amy Porterfield's podcast while you're talking.

[B]

That was one of my most favorite social media posts. You did? The comments were hilarious.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so I have one more question for you, and that is, how do you know who to invite to your table?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I think this one's big.

[A]

Yeah. You know, it goes back to what me and you talk about in both of our books, and it's. It's literally the vision in a book. I literally write down how to think about where you're going. And here's the truth. Before you can invite people to your table, you're going to have to remove some people from your table. And some of those people that you're going to remove from your table remove from your life are going to be family members, going to be close friends. But the reason why some of us are not getting to that next season of life is because we have the wrong people in this season of life, and we don't want to let them go. Prime example. I say this respectfully. You know, I love my mom and my dads. I have two. I have four parents, two biological parents, and two step parents. I love them. But they haven't built what I've built. They haven't written a book. They're not a New York Times bestselling author. So why would I choose sitting down with them over sitting down with Amy Porterfield, who's done what I've been doing? Right. And so what I've learned is just because I removed someone away from my table for a season doesn't mean they're out of my life. It just means that for the season that I'm in, you can't help me get to where I need to go to. And I can't get there if I keep you in that seat when I need someone else in that seat that can help me get there. And so what I do is every single year for 2025, I sat down before coming into this year. I said, hey, where am I going? What am I. What am I doing? I'm in school, completing my executive mba. That's two classes for the next eight weeks, every single eight weeks, I am launching this book. I'm writing my next money book that's coming out in October 2026. I still have a show and a company to run. So I need people in my life who align, who can help me out with those four major things. Then the fifth one is I've just become an adjunct professor at Virginia Unions, where now I'm teaching financial management to freshmen and sophomores. So I'm like, okay, wait a minute. Wait. Okay, you can't be in my life because you can't help me with this in this year. Now, I can still be cool, we can still kick it, but you can't be in an intimate part of my table that's helping me accomplish this. So I need my therapist at the table. I need my emotional coach at the table, because I'm going to get frustrated, I'm going to get tired. I'm going to feel like quitting school because I'm taking two classes every eight weeks for a whole year. I need to talk to a therapist who I can pay them to shut up and I can cuss them out and say whatever's on my head, because I need that. Right? But then I also need that emotional coach that's going to help it. So once you have a clear vision, you'll be able to identify who you need at your table. And do not keep people at your table simply because you don't want to hurt their feelings. And I say this, and I'll be quiet. We have mastered saving and pleasing everyone else at the cost of our feelings. And what we've done is we taught those people that our feelings don't matter and that our vision doesn't matter because we want to keep them happy. Well, in this season of my life, and I talk about, in the book on how do you talk about, how do you tell them? How do you have that conversation in a loving and a caring way? I'm not doing it in 2025. If. If you gotta go, you gotta go. But I love you, but I hope you understand where I'm going.

[B]

Okay, I'm a hundred percent on board with this entire philosophy. But there's one caveat that I'd like to hear your opinion on. Okay, so aside from people you pay, your therapist, your coach, same. I've got the exact same thing at my table. But these other people, the mentors, people that are gonna help you get there, the people that are part of your vision, what's in it for them? Are you being greedy? Are you saying, come help me, come sit at my table. What's in it for them?

[A]

Yeah. No, there. There's. There's nothing greedy in the mentorship table. Anytime I reach out to a mentor, I'm always asking them, how can I help them?

[B]

You actually are. So you 100% are that person.

[A]

I have to. Because here's the truth, Amy. You wouldn't be as excited to help me if. If I didn't identify and ask you. Hey, you're building a whole business over there. You got a book coming out, you got other books coming up. Absolutely.

[B]

Tit for tat with stuff like that. We are constantly exchanging. So you're saying that that's important.

[A]

Every mentor. Every mentor, like, how can I best serve you? And then the thing is, and this is what I always tell people, honor. Like, even if you don't have nothing from a practical place to give them, how can you at least honor them? Don't go out there to give you all this wisdom and knowledge. And you go out there and you do amazing. You're like, yeah, I did it on my. No, no, no. Hey, man, I want to thank XYZ for spending time with me. Give them honor. Because there are a lot of mentors. Not a lot. There's about two mentors in my life that honestly, I mean, they got everything they need and want. Like, I can't do much for. Right? Yeah. But it's like when I am winning and I got it from them, I honor them and I let the people know. Like, yo, this person gave me this information. And so that is important to me. And I'm always looking at people and I'm always asking, is there anything that you need that I can offer? I mean, if so, man, I don't charge nothing. I don't ask for nothing. I give it. Because here's what I have learned. Relationships, healthy and equitable relationships are far better than money. Because relationships can get me in a room and even keep me in a room sometimes way more than money. You can buy yourself into the environment, but no, when you get a sign off by Amy, by Dave, by whoever, man, your name goes a little bit further. And so I don't want to hurt relationships. I want to maintain those relationships. And so that's my thoughts on that.

[B]

I love that I asked because I knew you were so good at that. The giving part of it as well.

[A]

Got to.

[B]

Okay, so I do have one tiny more question, but before I ask it, where do people go to find this book? What's the name of the book? What's the subtitle of the book? Where did they go? Tell them right now, man, what the.

[A]

Name of the book is. Take your seat at the table. I'm teaching you how to live an Authentic life of abundance, wellness and freedom. All three of those things, man. You can go to any major bookstore to get it. Go to anthony.com forward slash book. We would love to see you have the book and I can't wait to see you.

[B]

And make sure you follow Anthony on Instagram. He is fantastic. And you've got a YouTube channel.

[A]

Oh, yes. Yeah. Go to anthonyo.com forward/show and you'll be right there. And you'll see all the great shows. Amy Porter, Phil's been on there a couple of times actually as well. So one of my top shows, especially that last one about her book, she killed that one.

[B]

That was fun. Are you saying Anthony o or Anthony.

[A]

O'Neill.com Anthony O'Neill.com all right, in the.

[B]

YouTube, how did they find it?

[A]

Go to AnthonyOneal.com forward slash show.

[B]

Perfect. Okay, great. All right, my final question is, what is your hope? Someone goes out, they purchase this book, they're still in a 9 to 5, they're feeling overwhelmed, they're feeling stuck. Nothing seems to be working for them. They think they're never going to get ahead. They get your book. What is your hope for them?

[A]

Here's my hope. That you read this book, that you get the study guide and you do the assignments inside the study guide and that by this time next year that you're seeing a life filled with abundance, wellness, financial freedom and just joy in your life because you've applied what you've learned. There's no reason why you don't read Amy Porter Phil's book in my book book. And you don't apply what you've learned. Don't read it just to read it. No, apply what you're reading. And I promise you, if you apply what you get inside this book, this time next year, you're going to have a much better life. You're going to see so much more freedom and joy and peace in your life because you've positioned yourself in the right way. So that's my hope for people.

[B]

One of my most favorite quotes of your book, you said your legacy starts with the decisions you make at the head of your table. One of the best decisions you can make right now is to get Anthony's book. Read it and what you just said, do the work. Yeah, we'll see you in a year from now. You won't even recognize yourself. So thank you, my sweet friend. I appreciate you being here. It's always my pleasure.

[A]

Yes, ma'am. Thank you for having me.

[B]

So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed talking to Anthony. And here's what I want you to leave with. I know how important it is to have a well rounded life. Sure, I talk about business and growing a business and making money all the time, but at the end of the day, I know that's not what it's all about. I know that wellness and relationships and finances and career make up a beautiful life. And all of those elements are really examined to your favor or in your favor in Anthony's new book. And so I encourage you to get it. But more importantly, I encourage you to do the work that he so beautifully lays out for you. So thank you so much for being here and I will see you soon for more entrepreneurial goodness. Bye for now.