Loading summary
Transcript101 lines
- [00:00]
A
Before we dive in. If you're a six figure female founder and your business feels harder than it should, this is for you. You've built something real, but sustaining it is exhausting. And that's usually not an ever problem. It's a systems problem. This week I'm hosting a free live training called the revenue consistency formula. I'll show you how to align all the parts of your marketing so that your messaging offers and leads are connected versus competing with each other. This is the answer to moving out of overwhel and into predictable revenue. You can save your spot@amyporterfield.com training. All right, let's go ahead and jump in.
- [00:41]
B
From the moment we look at these brilliant little computers that we hold in our hands, we are immediately in a state of reactivity. The concern about somebody reading your journal is not uncommon, completely understandable, and you are not alone in it.
- [00:55]
A
I love this idea of the big unlock.
- [00:58]
B
The point is that you're utilizing the medium as a way to externalize what is going on under the hood. They're operating from a place of solidity, clarity and creativity. And all of those things come from drama.
- [01:13]
A
My guest today is a dear friend of mine. One of them goes, that one over there. She's big money. And it was my guest today.
- [01:19]
B
Her name is Amy Porterfield. Amy Porterfield, the ever amazing best selling author of two weeks notice. Ms. Amy Porterfield.
- [01:28]
A
I've got a confession. I am obsessed with journaling. I'm obsessed with all things journals. The journals, the paper, the pens, all the little things that come along with it. I love it. All proof here. This is one of my favorite journals. This is a Louise Carmen journal. If you know, you know, it's just beautiful. I use it all the time. I love it. And then one of my favorite places to buy all my journal stuff is cloth and paper. It's a female RAN business, woman of color to be exact. And it is my favorite place to go. So this is one of my work journals, also known as like Daily Planner as well. Sexy, right? I just love it. Has all the tabs in it. I have another one. This is a personal one for all my personal stuff. I do a lot of journaling in this one. But then I even have this little one that I keep in my bag if I want to write down things if I don't want to forget. And of course, of course I have all the pens, all the highlighters. Like I know some of you are thinking, why? Why does she need like all of this? I do. I need it all. And I use it all. So today we're talking about journaling. Now, to be fair, some of this is like, like I said, like my daily planner and, and quarterly planning and all of that good stuff, but this is like, over the last six months, I've collected all of this, and I use it all. And I love it because here's what I've realized. When you run a business, your brain never stops. You're making decisions all day long, juggling a million things, trying to figure out what to focus on next. And most of us are doing all of that thinking inside our heads or digitally, and it's still just swirling around. Like, when your head hits the pillow at night, is your brain still going? Or do you have to take something like, like a gummy or something to slow down your brain? I mean, I. I've been there, so I know, but the thing is we have to slow down our brain. And what I've noticed is that when I journal and when I keep it all organized like this, and, and I am an organized kind of girl, so this is like my love language. Hobie makes fun of me all the time, like, what's happening here? I'm like, don't bother me. I've got my journals out. I'm doing my thing. So I'm really just excited about this topic today because it's not about all the material parts of journaling, but it's about journaling as a high achiever and to achieve more. And there's just something about writing it down and it changes something. And it's not just me saying this. A 2024 study in Norway found that writing by hand activates widespread connectivity across the brain in ways that typing simply doesn't. Handwriting lit up networks associated with learning, memory, and cognitive processing. And research has shown that activities like journaling are associated with an 11% lower risk of dementia. So this isn't just good for your business, it's good for your brain. Now, you might be surprised to know that I have found a journaling expert, and there are not that many out there. My guest today is Lauren L. Rubin, the founder of All Swell Creative and one of the leading voices on the power of mindful writing. She spent over a decade helping people reconnect with pen and paper, and her work has been featured in the New York Times, Vogue, Forbes, and Goop. So Laura believes that journaling isn't just self care. It's a tool for clarity, creativity, and better decision making. And in this episode, she's going to show us why putting Pen to paper might be one of the simplest and most powerful things we can do for ourselves and our businesses. If you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to begin, or if you've tried before and just couldn't make it stick, this episode is for you. Oh, and if you want to know where I got all of this, I'll make sure to link it in the show notes. But before we get there, let's dive into today's episode. Hey there, Laura. Welcome to the show.
- [05:36]
B
It is such a pleasure to be here with you, Amy. Thank you very much for having me.
- [05:40]
A
Well, I've been really looking forward to this because this topic is one of my favorites. But first, you've worked with executives at Google, Netflix, pro athletes, venture capitalists, I mean, even special forces veterans. So I have to just start out by asking, why are high performers turning to journaling? Like, what is doing it for them?
- [06:02]
B
When you think about the best quality decision making and visionary leaders, they are all creatives functionally. You need to work with that muscle in order to be able to be a visionary leader, an empathetic manager, and to be able to make the best quality decisions both on the fly and also big picture strategic choices. Journaling helps develop that muscle. It also provides you with structured thought. And that is something that we accomplish through intentional journaling. Not the kind of journaling that's just emoting on the page, which is sort of the little black dress of journaling. It's a classic approach, but it isn't the only approach. And what I do is I teach these leaders how to utilize the technology of pen to paper in other ways.
- [07:03]
A
Okay, we're going to get into some of that today for sure, but back me up just a little bit. How did you get into such a niche topic? I mean, we were talking before we went live, and you're like, it's this one topic and I go deep. And I don't really know anyone who teaches what you teach and especially how you do it at such a huge scale in terms of who you've been working with.
- [07:23]
B
So.
- [07:24]
A
So take me down. How did you get here?
- [07:26]
B
This entire endeavor has been nothing short of a surprise to me. I came from a corporate background, and then I was an accidental entrepreneur. I began a. A marketing communications consultancy that I ran for 15 years. And I loved it. I had the world's best clients. But there was this idea that journaling had a bad PR problem. And as a lifelong journaler myself, I wanted to help shift the Cultural perception of what this modality offered. I knew what it had done for me and I wanted to bring more people to the page. So I started first, it was just a passion project, a little side project with gender neutral design forward paper products to bring people to the page just to. Just to start a different cultural reference point as a conversation. Then what happened was this thing that I've been doing since I was a single digit that I have really no hangups around. It's been really intuitive for me. I found out that the marketplace has a tremendous number of hang ups around it. They think they're bad at it. They're afraid someone's going to read at it. They think they're not a good enough writer. They don't think they're inherently creative, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so after the marketplace, Place taught me that there was this need. That's when I decided, I think I can put together a supportive curriculum and help people break through all those blocks. And that's where that's. That's how I am here today.
- [08:59]
A
Yes. Okay. This is such a fascinating topic to me. So you. I love what you said. The little black dress of journaling. And if I think of what that really means, I think of like putting all your thoughts and reflections on the page. Is. Is that what you mean? And also a lot of people are just intimidated by journaling. So talk to me about, how do you define journaling and what does it actually look like for someone who's really not done it before or so many of the girls listening right now like me, just don't stay consistent at it.
- [09:31]
B
Yes, that's. That's completely understandable. And I think there's a lot of journaling stress and journaling guilt out there, to which I say it is all unnecessary. The last thing any of us needs is something else to make us feel badly about not accomplishing something on our to do list. So in terms of helping people start and stay consistent, I have what I call 4 by 4 by 4.
- [10:00]
A
Tell me about that.
- [10:01]
B
Even the busiest people that I coach, and we were talking not just about the CEOs, we're talking about the single working moms. Respect. They are able to find four minutes. I'm not even suggesting five. Four minutes to journal. And I'm not suggesting you do it every day, just try to do it four days a week, four by four. And then to build up that muscle memory, try to stay consistent with it for a month, for four weeks. Now, this isn't Whole 30. You don't have to start all over again if you fall off the wagon. Just bring your attention back to the practice and keep going. Now, if you get to the four minute mark and you have more that is juicy that you want to share an idea that you want to follow through to completion a sentence or two, that you have more to write, keep going. Roll through that four minute mark and keep going. But if you just get to the four minute mark and you're doing it four times a week, you will start to build a positive association with the act because you're getting a nice little dopamine hit from accomplishing something. And we're setting the bar at a, at a level that's attainable as opposed to some of the other journaling approaches, which are completely valid and really wonderful. But neurologically where we are today, let's meet people where they are and give them something that's attainable so that they have a really positive association with journaling.
- [11:30]
A
Okay, I could do four by four by four. I like this a lot. So we have four minutes four times a week for four. For four times a week for four weeks.
- [11:39]
B
Yes.
- [11:40]
A
Okay, that is doable. So then the next thing that comes up for me is I want to be a high performer. I am a high performer. I want to stay a high performer. So what am I journaling about?
- [11:51]
B
What?
- [11:51]
A
That's where another thing I sit down, I'm like, what am I going to talk about? And one thing I don't love is sometimes I just feel like I'm writing all the stuff that I'm unhappy about or, or that's bothering me. And I don't know if that's even the most productive thing.
- [12:06]
B
So. Amy, I'm pretty sure you already are a high performer and you will not stop being a high performer anytime soon. But journaling is a wonderful tool for amplification. Right? Okay. So going back to what we were talking about, the little black dress of journaling is that sort of emoting on the page. And a lot of people associate it with being fairly self involved or indulgent or, um, you know, there are a lot of like, associations, like teen angst scribblings and cringe poetry that people associate with journaling. And that's all true, but it isn't the only truth. So that idea of sometimes you just need to sit down and write it all out, to which I say, that's great, your journal is there for you. But the kind of journaling that I tend to do is more structured reflection. Right. That it's more intentional. And. And that's where prompts come in, and they are so useful. Also, some people are intimidated by a blank page, and they don't know where to start, and a prompt helps them leapfrog over that so that they have a starting place, and then they can go from there. Now, when it comes to a prompt, I am not suggesting that it is an essay. You are not going to be graded. Nobody will ever read it. So if you veer away from the prompt over your 4 minutes, 5 minutes, 6 minutes, what have you, it's okay. Again, I am a journaling expert, and I am telling you there is no journaling police. Nobody is coming to grade your paper.
- [13:39]
A
Okay? I love that, because I do feel like someone's coming to grade my paper. This might be really personal, and other people listening might be like, that is super weird, Amy. But I do have this fear that. And I thought you mentioned it, so I might have caught it. That, like, someone's gonna read it. And I. It's just me and my husband here. He's not gonna pick up my journal and read it, but I'll lose it somewhere, or it's just I die and it's out there for the world to see. What. What is that? Why do you think I have that? And do other people worry about that?
- [14:08]
B
First of all, by now, over 10 years in, I pretty much heard everything. Okay. There's nothing you can say that I'm like, nope, never heard that before. Although if you do, I'm thrilled and always fascinated. Yeah. The concern about somebody reading your journal is not uncommon.
- [14:26]
A
Okay.
- [14:27]
B
It. Sometimes it happens because I'll be speaking to an adult, and maybe their mother read their journal or their brother read their journal. There was this one poor girl. We're talking about journaling trauma. There's one poor girl. Her older brothers read her journal aloud to each other, and frankly, front of her when she was 12.
- [14:47]
A
Stop it. Okay? That's pure trauma.
- [14:49]
B
Yes, yes, yes, yes. So the point is, it's com. First of all, let's validate it. It's completely understandable, and you are not alone in it, okay? Right. It's something that I hear a lot of. Secondly, it is not necessary for you to keep your journals for posterity. You can throw them out. So when somebody says that they are completely immobilized, that they are so concerned that their husband, child, whomever may read their journal, I say write and rip. So instead of trying to fill a journal up, try to empty it. Write in flesh, write and burn whatever it is get it out of there. The point is that you're utilizing the medium as a way to externalize what is going on under the hood. Now, whether you save it or not, and you use it as a record to look back on that is one way of utilizing a journal, but it's not the only way. I personally rarely reread my journals. I keep them all because to me, somehow, they're sacred. But I don't generally go back and reread them with any frequency. It's like, no, I got it out. I moved past. I want to keep going. So that idea of somebody being looking over your shoulder as if they are going to be judging you, first of all, we all have an inner critical voice. Right? Not just you. Every single person on this planet has an inner critical voice. And usually it's the most cruel voice that they hear on a regular basis. Yes. So to which I say it's so important to recognize that voice and other it. So when you hear that critical voice come in, whoever you imagine it to be, recognize, like, okay, Laura said that critical voice is there. Nope. They don't get to run this session. This is just for me. Mm, I like this. This is just for me.
- [16:44]
A
So you had mentioned how I might be saying this wrong. You said journaling is externalizing what's going on? You said under the hood or internally.
- [16:52]
B
Yes.
- [16:53]
A
So how does journaling work? Like, why does it, let's say, amplify me being a high performer or help someone become a high performer?
- [17:01]
B
How?
- [17:01]
A
What. What it. Why you? I know one cool thing about you is you've done the research, you've done the science. This is. This is grounded in facts. And so give me some of that.
- [17:12]
B
Yes. So there's a lot of. And I mean, God bless the woo. Woo out there. Yeah, I love a little woo in my personal life, in my professional life, I do not bring any of that to this dialogue. Okay. If you are looking simply at the neurology of this, there are synaptic connections that get made when you're moving your hand across the page that amplify the experience. So if somebody tells me, I'm not a journaling purist personally, that they are going to use the notes app on their phone or they're going to. They're more comfortable with a keyboard or they're going to use a journaling app or even a voice memo, I say, great, fantastic. Whatever you utilize as a form of creative expression, it's better than you not doing it. However, if for a high performer like yourself, you want to get the most out of the investment. Pen to paper is the way to go. When you think about the amount of incoming data that we are sifting through on a daily basis, we are essentially in a constant state of react and respond. From the moment we look at these brilliant, brilliant little computers that we hold in our hands, we are immediately in a state of reactivity. So to be able to shift out of that and bring more focused thought. So instead of what I am doing in order to put out a fire or how I am reacting to something in intrinsic, check in where you are able to actually bring up to the surface your ideas, your queries, your impulses and have a space to give them some room, to amplify them, to actually be in dialogue with yourself. Again, no third party reader, right? Some people create captions and they say it's a creative expression. That's still for third party engagement. This is just for you. So to be able to step away from the fire hose that we're all drinking out of is an incredibly empowered and empowering act. And that's one of the reasons why leaders are operating from that place. They aren't just running after fires trying to put them out. They're operating from a place of solidity, clarity and creativity. And all of those things come from journaling.
- [19:46]
A
Okay, I'm sold. I hear you. What do I do when I sit down and I'm staring at a blank page and I don't know what to write? Ah, hate to interrupt, but at the time I'm releasing this podcast, we're days away from my free live training where I'll teach the revenue consistency formula. If you're a six figure female founder who's getting leads but struggling to convert them, if you've leaned into your ambition to get here and you're ready to stop being the only one making it all run, or if your business is doing a lot of things well, but none of it feels connected and growth is slow. This training is for you. I'm going to show you why doing less better is the key to your next six figure jump. How you go from what worked to get here to what's going to take you well past it without adding more to your already full business. That's the revenue consistency formula. Save your seat@emiporterfield.com forward slash training. Now back to the show.
- [20:47]
B
I love this question. Okay, okay. So as you can tell, I'm a really cerebral person. I love it. So a lot of the time I feel like I'm a brain just Walking around on stilts, totally disembodied. Right. And I'm not the world's greatest meditator. I do some meditation. Not wildly consistent with it. And part of that problem is that I want. I need something to do. Right. And so I created for myself a journaling activity that I call five senses. And this is a wonderful way for you to actually become embodied, drop into present moment, and do some mindful writing. So you have an activity that you're engaged in. You're not trying to do nothing, but it is an activity that you are able to do that brings you into present time. And just simply notice and write down what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling the five senses. And do it in layers. Right. Perhaps you hear the hum of your refrigerator, and beyond that, you hear your kiddo talking on the phone in his or her room. And beyond that, you hear somebody walking their dog and the. And the. And the leash. You hear and hear beyond the hearing. And then you bring that ethos to each of your senses. If you do that.
- [22:18]
A
Okay, I was gonna say, what does this do?
- [22:20]
B
Yeah. You are giving yourself a nice serotonin bath, right? You're dropping your cortisol levels, and you're bringing yourself in present time. It is a wonderful jumping off point to then journal from. So it is. You're laying a really fertile place that you can then operate from, rather than, again, being in that heightened sympathy, that. That sympathetic, parasympathetic state. No, you're going. You're. You're jumping into a sympathetic state from parasympathetic. So you're giving yourself that. That grace to be operating from a creative. More creative space. So that's a really great foundational tool. And then if you want to shift into it, let's just. Let's just workshop it.
- [23:10]
A
Okay.
- [23:10]
B
This a morning. Is this an evening?
- [23:13]
A
Does it matter? That was another question I had for you. Does morning or evening matter when you journal?
- [23:18]
B
So I. I tend to journal twice a day, which sounds like a lot, but I don't tend to journal for a very long time at any given setting. Right. I'm not. I'm. You don't need to sound like Joan Didion. You don't need the perfect, like, adaptogen laden Matcha. It doesn't have. You don't have to be wrapped in a cashmere shawl, like, just get it done. My approach is a little more punk rock, like, do it anywhere. Do it everywhere. Just experiment and see what time of day brings out what qualities in your journaling. Some People morning is incredibly supportive for them and they have the time. Other clients of mine say to me, laura, there is no way in hell that I am able to journal. I've got to get my kids out. No, I've got, I've got. My email is already a dumpster fire. Forget it. There's no. Fair enough. In which case, evening light work or you step away schedule in five minutes between two meetings. Even do it in the middle of your day. Try that. Test out where the different locations and times and be in dialogue with it. See what works for you. There is no right time, there is no best time. Time of day does tend to color what kind of journaling you're going to do, but all of it is good for you.
- [24:34]
A
Okay, so you're saying, let's workshop it. And I was thinking, you know, a lot of people that are listening, they're growing businesses online. They would be considered like on the enneagram threes, you know, go getters and probably a little high strung and they often feel stuck. So they've gotten somewhere in their business. They want to get to the next milestone, they feel stuck. And what if they wanted to work past something specific? I'm assuming you can use journaling for that. Like you could write every day about something different or could you say, I'm going to work through this until I work through it?
- [25:12]
B
Yes. Okay. I actually love utilizing a journal in that way where there's like a particular topic or question that you ask yourself on a consistent basis and then you're able to gather, you're creating a data set and you're gathering information over a period of time and then you're able to recognize patterns. So for instance, I recognize that I had arguably an incredible job right in my last corporate gig was I was at the top of the heap and I couldn't figure out everything that I had believed would bring me joy and happiness in terms of achievement was there. And I was wildly unsatisfied and unhappy. And it took journaling on a consistent basis at the end of the day each day. And I did a rose and thorn. What was the best part of my day? What was the most difficult and challenging part of my day? And I was starting to see patterns emerge and that it wasn't. I don't mind a challenge. I have no problem with that. It was the. I was the top of the heap. It was the wrong heap. So it was through creating data points that I was then able to map. No, no, it's time to go do something different. What Is that something different? And then you make the space for that query in your journal. What could it look like? What could it be? What is like, what does my full day look like? And start to write that out. What would I want to do? Where would I want to be? And then bring in your five senses, like actually like fire up your imagination. Am I warm? Am I cold? Am I, am I what? Like, what are those things that are happening for me in that ideal day? And start journaling into it.
- [27:03]
A
Oh, that's good. I love journaling to kind of work through something and sticking with it until the very end. I think that's really cool. That made me think you said earlier about prompts, like, do you have any favorite prompts? Especially if you think about female founders growing their businesses online and feeling like overwhelmed and burnt out pretty regularly. What are some prompts that she could use?
- [27:27]
B
Yes. So one of my favorite prompts for overachieving women is what I call a done list. So this is a prompt that I do at the end of the day. I find that it helps me. It gives you a nice little victory lap, a nice little dopamine hit from a sense of accomplishment.
- [27:45]
A
I like that.
- [27:46]
B
Yes. And it's the gamification of self care, but it's not through wearable technology. This is the opportunity for you to scan your day and record all the different ways you were a good steward of yourself. And for lots of high achieving women, we are so focused on taking care of others and whether that's our department, our organization, our family, our community, what have you. And so it's really easy to put ourselves last or for self care to be bound up in things that are still in service of others. So by actually recording the ways in which you showed up for yourself, and maybe you got you're 10,000 steps in, maybe you watered your plants and really enjoyed it. Maybe you treated yourself to a special workout with your favorite trainer. Maybe. I mean, for me it could be something as simple as like, I actually build up my dehumidifier humidifier so I didn't wake up like dry as a Sarah. Yeah, those big things, it's small things. The point is that you are recording those things. You took all your supplements, maybe you did your peptide stack, whatever it is, and by recording all of them, you're starting to see, wait, I did good today. I actually took good care of myself by doing this, over time you start to recognize patterns, places where you're consistent and other places where you're spottier. Also when you are maybe A little bit busier than you are normally. And you start to see that list start to shrink. And then you can recognize, wait, I need to, I need to take better care of myself tomorrow. Okay, this is good information. And then just keep going. So that's one of the reasons why I love a done list. Another thing that I like, and this is similar but different, is a like list.
- [29:48]
A
A like list.
- [29:48]
B
Okay, so I was leading a journaling ex, a journaling workshop for a bunch of executive women. And this was a warmup exercise. I asked them to sit down and, and write a list of things they like and to use their five senses, sights, sounds, tastes, textures, et cetera, and activities. What is, what are the things that you enjoy? And it sounds like a pretty lightweight activity on the surface, but actually what it's doing is that it's shifting your, your mental energy into a positive mind space so that you're giving yourself a nice little mood boost. And also at the end of the, and you're firing up your imagination because you're utilizing your five senses and scanning your memory banks for things that bring you joy and things you. Things that you. Not necessarily love. Love is a higher bar, but things you like. At the end of this particular activity, one of the women reflected back to me. That was really hard because I am so focused on taking care of other people. I don't know what I like. I don't know. I don't even know what I like anymore. I could have told you what I liked when I was 20. I could have told you what I liked when I was 10. But I have no idea what I like anymore. So for her, it was the unlock moment of her becoming aware of those things. And it is that awareness of these check ins that are intentional that provide the information. So sometimes you're writing really intensely and deep, thoughtful, long passages, and other times it is these quicker, faster, more available activities that still provide you with a big unlock.
- [31:36]
A
Okay, so either way, you can get it either way. I love this idea of the big unlock because I really think that's what we're all really looking for. So. Okay, I've heard you talk about self generated prompts. What is that?
- [31:51]
B
I have 75 prompts in my book and.
- [31:54]
A
Oh, I like that.
- [31:55]
B
Yes, yes, it is not a workbook, it is a book book. But there are 75 prompts all, all through the book that you can pull out and utilize in the notebook of your choice. But you can also self generate a prompt. I'm a nerdy English major, so I have books of poetry around. And sometimes what I'll do is in the morning when I want to jump out of that mind chatter that I'm already in because I've already looked at my email and I'm, I'm, I'm already down the field thinking about that meeting and the meeting after that.
- [32:29]
A
Nope.
- [32:30]
B
I want to draw it back, right? And something to react to helps. So I'll flip open again. You may not have books of poetry lying around, but I do. I'll flip it open to a random page, I'll read what's left there, and I'll sit with it for a moment or two, see what images, sensations, memories, thoughts occur to me, and then I'll write from there. I'm not writing an essay about what it is that I am reading. I'm just utilizing it as a way of shifting out of the day to day chatter of our minds. And you can do that with anything. You can use a song. I, I was working with a creative director and I was talking to her about this and she said, laura, I don't have books of poetry around. Like, what, are you kidding me? And I said, fair, fair. You know, she's, she's a visual person. I said, do you have monographs of artists or books of photography around? She said, yeah, I've got tons of them. I'm like, great. Pull one of those off the shelf, flip open to a random page, look at a piece of art, look at a photograph, at a photograph. Use that. Just sit with it.
- [33:43]
A
I have a lot of self help books around so I could grab something out of there easily.
- [33:49]
B
If you want to grab a self help book, flip open a random page, even put your finger down randomly on the page and use that word as your prompt. Prompt.
- [34:03]
A
Okay. Okay, that's cool. No, I like that. So self generated prompts, I like that concept and it's very personal because you're looking for things that are in your space. So you're going to be, you know, aligned with or pulled into that. So that makes sense. You had me thinking though. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you do, so you'll have to tell me. But I have two thoughts about topics of journaling that the women that are in my community might be thinking of. The first one is I've got this program called the Millie club and it's 30 women that are making around 500k or more and their goal is to have a million dollar year in the entrepreneur space. It's a big deal. So hit that Million dollar year. Could she journal her way to a million dollar year?
- [34:49]
B
Of course.
- [34:50]
A
Okay, so what would that look like?
- [34:52]
B
Well, first of all, understanding what your motivation is is incredibly important.
- [34:58]
A
I wondered if that would come up, speak more about that.
- [35:01]
B
Yes. That when we're in alignment with what's really true for us, rather than being driven by outside forces, and that it's operating from the inside out, you are lit up with so much more juice and, and creativity and wisdom than trying to chase something that isn't intrinsic to who you are. So this idea of being driven, right, that it's, it's considered a synonym with ambition, but actually it's different when you think about the, the connotation of being driven. It's actually very passive, as opposed to this idea of what is true for you. And what, what is it about your goal? What does it look like? What does it mean to you? Why do you want to get there? How do you want to get there? And also, who do you want to enroll to help? So one of the things that I ask people to do is to sit down and write. Rock stars need roadies, right? Write down what kind of assistance you need. You might not know who they are or how to get to them. That's okay. It's all right. Identify who you need help from, what kind. Maybe you need an endocrinologist, Maybe you need a venture capitalist. Maybe you need a dog walker. I don't know. But start writing those things down. Okay. Then you're aware too. Once you're aware, you can start enrolling other people and asking for that assistance because you are actually cognitive. You're cognizant of what those things are that can propel you forward. 2. Once you have identified your goal as something that is intrinsic from you, that is important to you, and you've been able to articulate it on the page, you are better able to articulate it in discuss, in discussion and discourse. And that makes it possible for more people to get on board and to support you in moving towards your goals. So rock stars need roadies. And be clear. Get clear through the act of writing on what it is you want and why.
- [37:23]
A
Ooh, that's good. That's good. Okay, so we can journal our way to our first million dollar year. I like that a lot. And then the other one I was thinking of was finding love. I know a lot of women and men are looking for that special someone. Can you journal your way to love?
- [37:40]
B
I can't promise you I'm not a matchmaker. I won't promise you that. But there, there is actually a really wonderful study that was done. It was with a group of people that were newly dating and the control group was also similarly newly dating but didn't participate in the activity. The newly dating couples, one of the two was asked to sit down and write out the list of qualities that they really appreciated and admired about the other person so that they were articulating it, noticing it, witnessing it, articulating it, and then they were able to better appreciate their person. As a result, six months later, the couple that had participated in this study was more likely to still be together. Now, what's really fascinating about that is that only one half of the couple participated. It didn't even take two.
- [38:44]
A
Okay, that's cool.
- [38:46]
B
That if you find somebody that you really enjoy being with and you want to nurture this relationship as a longer term investment, you know, our time is so valuable, our love is valuable. So we want to like, if this is your. If this is your person, you want to also make sure that you're making the investment. Sit down and write down what it is that you appreciate and admire about them and then ask your partner to do it too, because it amplifies the effect.
- [39:16]
A
Okay. And if you're single, do you think this would work in the sense of write down everything that you want to appreciate about the person that you want to bring into your life?
- [39:26]
B
I think that there is this quality of making a list and having people fit into boxes right now that is facilitated by all the digital dating apps that I am not a huge fan of.
- [39:42]
A
Yeah.
- [39:42]
B
So personally, what I would recommend instead of. It's good to identify what you want, of course. But working on yourself is going to mean that when you meet the person that you are going to be more likely to connect with them. And also, the more you work on yourself, the better quality the person is that you will attract to you. So I flipped the script on that. It's great to know what you want, but working on yourself will just mean that you will attract a higher quality person.
- [40:21]
A
Amen to that. So good. Okay, my last question for you is a little bit ridiculous, but I'm just dying to hear what you have to say about it. So do you, do you ever go on Tick Tock?
- [40:36]
B
No.
- [40:36]
A
Okay. Well, there's this thing on Tick call talk called Journal Talk.
- [40:42]
B
To be totally clear, I try to walk the talk. Right.
- [40:45]
A
Okay.
- [40:45]
B
And so I am not. I am not. I am not on Tick Tock. I am not on X. I am on Instagram. Right. I do Have a substack. I pick and choose my mediums, but I. I am a little bit of a Luddite, and that is by design, but I am familiar with the concept.
- [41:05]
A
It's so addictive, so it's good that you're not on it. And I think substack is so smart for what you do. And it's such. I think it's kind of a beautiful place right now, so I hope it stays there, but. Okay, so on TikTok, what you're missing is that there's things called this thing called journal talk. And journal talk, you basically use the hashtag and you can find all the videos, and it's. It's about everyone talking about their journal ecosystem. And it's a little bit of a material thing as well as a here's what I journal about. And so in the intro, I'm going to show some of my journals because I really like a good journal. We posted a meme in my newsletter not long ago, and this woman had bought a journal, and she, like, lifted up and she says, just so you know, like, everything's gonna be great in my life. I have a new journal. So I just want you all to know you'll see big changes in me. So how do you feel about the physical. The journals, the pens, the stuff that goes along with it? Are you. Are you that kind of girl? Are you, like. No, it's just a plain notebook and a simple pen.
- [42:11]
B
I. I am a total pen fetishist.
- [42:14]
A
Okay, so you do have a little. That journal talking.
- [42:17]
B
Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, my. I like. I like a pen that's got weight, and it's got. The one that I'm using right now is actually by the Cross Pen Company. And it. They. They engraved it for me, and it actually says the big unlock. And I'm going to be signing books with. It's like. I totally have a pen thing.
- [42:40]
A
Okay, good.
- [42:41]
B
As far as materials go, I was given this beautiful Hermes blank notebook as a gift. And it was such a thoughtful, generous gift, and I couldn't write in it.
- [42:56]
A
I was gonna say that would be hard for me to write in.
- [42:57]
B
I couldn't write in it. And as a result, like, it was so intimidating to me. And I could fill composition books from CBS no problem. But there was something about the. The weight, the intensity of this particular luxurious paper that just felt like too much. So from my perspective, whatever your materials are, that they're the perfect materials for you, right? And find them, love them, enjoy them. If, like, I fetishize my pens and my notebooks. I use my. I use all swell notebooks, but whatever materials work for you, it's great. People love graph paper. People are. People are so specific. They want it small, they want it big, they want the one with just the dots.
- [43:51]
A
I don't know how anyone does the dots. I will never be able to get on board with the dots, but it's a big thing. On journal talk, there's a lot of people that love the dots.
- [43:59]
B
And it's one of the reasons why in terms of my business, I didn't stay the course and creating products because I recognized the. The number of products I would have to make in order to serve everybody's individual preferences. Size, quality of paper, color of paper, etc. I said, okay, let's focus on curriculum. There, there. You got to make a choice at some point. Am I product company or am I an experienced company? And I decided to lean into the experiences and I'm so glad I did.
- [44:30]
A
So glad you did for sure. So you mentioned a book and I know that you have a brand new book coming. You tell us a little bit about it. What's the name of the book and what it's. What is it about?
- [44:41]
B
Yes, it is the Big on Law.
- [44:45]
A
There it is. Okay, hold it up because I haven't gotten to see it.
- [44:47]
B
Okay.
- [44:47]
A
I love it.
- [44:49]
B
This is an advanced reader copy right here. It's coming out on March 31st and I am so thrilled to share this book baby with the world. It is my approach to journaling and to meet people again where we are now neurologically and bring in the science, but also make it something that is achievable, accessible and joyful so that people are able to actually derive the benefits, mental, emotional, physiological benefits of journaling. And I'm. I either. There are again 75 different prompts in the book. You can. It's a very snackable book. You can skip around if you want to or read it front to back. They. The chapters and sections do build on each other, but most of all, I'm trying to build a big enough tent to invite a lot of people in, especially those who wouldn't normally consider journaling.
- [45:41]
A
Yes, I think it's this, this book and this conversation has been a gift. So thank you so very much. I think it's going to inspire a lot of people to either start journaling or a lot of women in my audience just keep going. The 4x4x4, the fact that it doesn't have to be perfect, you don't have to start all over. If you get off track, I think that gives a a lot of us permission just to do our own thing and enjoy the process.
- [46:05]
B
Excellent.
- [46:06]
A
Thank you so much, Laura. Really appreciate you very much for showing up here today. And I can't wait for everyone to get their hands on your book the Big liberate your creativity through mindful journaling. Thanks again, my friend.
- [46:18]
B
Thank you.
- [46:19]
A
Amy, thank you so much for joining me for this conversation with Laura. I hope it gave you permission to slow down, grab a pen, and reconnect with yourself on paper. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And what's coming next is good. And if you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, hit that follow button so new episodes show up automatically. I'll see you soon.