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The Amy Porterfield Show
What to Stop Doing to Create a Life You Love with Sahil Bloom
00:47:38
You’ve Made More Money Than You Ever Thought Possible—So Why Doesn’t It Feel Like the Life You Wanted?
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- [00:02]
Amy Porterfield
Hey, there. Welcome to the Amy Porterfield Show.
- [00:12]
Sahil Bloom
You need to recognize a terrifying reality. That complaining, blaming, pointing fingers. None of those things get you anywhere worth going, because the terrifying reality is that you are in control of everything. It is all on you. Nobody is coming to save you. But the one thing that you can count on is that you are entirely capable of climbing back all on your own. You're entirely capable of squeezing every single thing you want out of life, of doing all of the hard things, of figuring it out, of meeting your responsibilities with energy and enthusiasm. You are always at the wheel in your own life, and it's your responsibility to just never let go.
- [01:00]
Amy Porterfield
When Hobie and I started couples counseling, we constantly had these conversations around the fact that I worked a lot and he was retired. And that's a really weird dynamic in a relationship. And so a lot of the times I'd be working way more than he wanted me to work. And I would say things like, you know, we want nice things. We're building this beautiful home, and we. We have a lifestyle that we've created, and I have to work in order for that lifestyle to work. And so I was really defensive about it, and he said, I'd rather you not work at all. And we live in a tiny home and sell everything just so that I could have more time with you. It just kind of, like, hit me in the gut. And here's the crazy thing. He's totally telling the truth. Like, Hobie loves our lifestyle and the special things we get to do, and he's excited about the home we're building, but he'd also just give it all up in a minute if it meant that we were happier in a certain way or had more time together, whatever it might be. And so my goal is to have a lot of time together and have this beautiful life that we have come to enjoy. So I would like both. But when he said that, it just reminded me so much that it's not all about the money, right? It's not all about the things. And it's so easy to say, but when you're building your own business and you're making things happen and you're doing the launches and you're in it every day and creating the content, you want the revenue to show for all the hard work you're doing, like, there's no way around it, right? And I think because we're like, look, I want something to show for all this hard work, we get caught up in that spiral of wanting more and more money. And my guest Today is going to give us a reset, and I think it's an important reset. So my guest is Saul Hill Bloom. He's an investor, an entrepreneur, he's a dad, and the author of the very popular New York Times bestseller, the Five Types of Wealth. And it's a book that will seriously shift the way you think about growth and time and what you really want want in your life and what you're building. So we're going to get into a lot of details together. I feel like this is one of my most favorite conversations I've had on the podcast so far. He just has this incredible ability to break down the invisible pressures that we all carry, and he gives us this framework for redefining wealth in a way that actually makes room for joy and connection and health. So I think you're going to love this episode. I won't make you wait a minute longer. Let's invite my. My guest, Sahil Bloom, to the show. I gotta start out by telling you a quick little story. So my mom is 75 years old, and we used to live in California. And when we moved to Nashville four and a half years ago, she also moved here and bought a house in Brentwood. So about 30 minutes from where we live, she wanted to just be closer to me. And I think I'm the favorite daughter, so she followed me here. Well, I have an older sister who still lives in California, and we really want her to move to Nashville. So every time she comes to visit, we try to talk her. Her and her husband to move here. Well, the last time my sister was here, we were hugging her. She were sending off to the airport. My mom hugs her really hard and she says, you know, we only have about 27 more times that we get to hug like this and say goodbye. And she's like, mom, why would you ever say that? She's like, you should move here because we. We only. I did the math only about 27 times. So as I was doing the research and checking out your book, I'm pretty sure my mom heard that from you. And so can you kind of tell the story of this whole mindset around time and family? Because I literally called her up and I said, mom, you won't believe who I'm interviewing today because she says it all the time now and my sister hates it, for the record. So talk to me about that one.
- [05:00]
Sahil Bloom
They'll hate it until they take action against it, and then it might change your life. I mean, my entire life changed on the basis of a very similar conversation. I spent the first 30 years of my life, chasing the exact definition of success that you're kind of handed by the world, that you should go and get the job. That sounds impressive. Put your head down and if you make enough money, you're eventually going to wake up one day and feel good. You're going to feel happy, content, fulfilled. Everything's going to be great. It's called the arrival fallacy. We, we set these destinations, these things, like a bonus, a promotion, a title, you know, a thing. And we convince ourselves that once we get that thing, everything is going to be different in our life. We're just going to feel great. And over and over again. On my journey, I would get that thing and just feel this sensation of familiar dread, never having done enough, that there was just something more. I had to reset to the next thing. And unfortunately for me, along that journey, as I grew more and more narrowly focused on the one thing of making money, I really lost sight of everything else in my life, most importantly my relationships. I was living 3,000 miles away from my parents, who I was so close to and who I had noticed for the first time, were slowing down. They were getting older, they weren't going to be around forever. And In May of 2021, I went out for a drink with an old friend and we sat down and he asked how I was doing. And I told him that it had started to get difficult living so far away from my parents, who were on the east coast. We were living in California. He asked, how old are they? And I said, mid-60s. And he asked, how often do you see them? And I said, about once a year at this point. And he just looked at me and said, okay, so you're going to see your parents 15 more times before they die. That was my reaction. Oof. I mean, the gut punch of realizing that the amount of time you have left with the people you care about most in the world is that finite and countable that you can place it onto a few hands. That really just shook me to the core. And in that moment, I realized that my entire definition of success, of what it meant to build a wealthy life, had been incomplete. I was focusing on the one thing at the expense of everything else. And the next day I woke up and my wife and I had a very candid conversation about what we wanted to build our life around, what our priorities truly were, where we wanted to head in life. And we took a dramatic action. Within 45 days, I had left this high status, prestigious, high paying job. We had sold our house in California. And we had moved 3,000 miles across the country to live closer to both of our sets of parents. And in that one decision was a very important realization, which is that you are in much more control of your time than you think. Your mom saying that to your sister, there's a powerful recognition that that number 27, I think it was in the case of when your mom was doing it. That number can change. You can bend these curves. We took an action, we moved, and the number went from 15 to the hundreds. I see my parents multiple times a month now. They're a huge part of my son, their grandson's life. We had taken an action and created time. And once you realize and reassume that agency over your own life, recognize that you are capable of taking an action and creating a desired outcome, that you are at the wheel, that you are happening to life rather than life happening to you, everything starts to change.
- [08:43]
Amy Porterfield
Everything. It's so true. I feel like you gave my mom and sister and me a gift, because when I did the math, I'm like, whoa, she. She's right. That. That could absolutely happen. So you're right. Once my sister really lets that sink in, I actually think we're going to give it. Get her to Nashville. So if so, I'm gonna have to send you a message and say thank you, because that's what we want more than anything, and that's what matters. So let's talk about what matters, because you introduced a whole new way of thinking about wealth beyond just money. And I feel like sometimes I feel like you wrote this book for me. And I know I'm not the first person to say it, because anyone who listens to my podcast, they know I love to talk about money. I teach people how to make money. I talk about how much money I make to show what's possible. And it's a really big part of my platform. Not out of a greediness, even though I don't think I even need to say that. I think my audience knows that. But it's a big part of what we do, because I teach people how to build businesses. However, I'm very aware that it's not about the money. But sometimes I need a really great reminder, and I think that's you today. So can you talk about your framework of your book? So the five types of wealth. Can you just talk about what are these five types of wealth? And why does this framework matter so much right now?
- [09:59]
Sahil Bloom
This book and this whole idea is fundamentally about answering one question, which is, what is the money for we spend so much of our time and so much of our life trying to figure out how to make money. And very few people ever pause to ask the question of what the money is for. What is the life you are actually trying to build with it? We get obsessed with the number because we can measure it. And in life, one of the things that you learn as you get older is that what you measure in life really matters. The things that you measure end up being the things that you start to narrowly hone in on and focus around. Like you myopically and get obsessed with the things that you can measure. And you don't have to look far to find examples of that. Like anyone that has gone and put on one of those sleep tracking rings or bands and all of a sudden they become the most annoying sleep person in the world. They're like, oh no, I can't go out because I got my sleep score. All these things right. All of your actions suddenly go around the one thing that you can measure. And so historically, money has been the thing that we could measure. It was the way that we measured our entire lives, our entire self worth. And while it is a contributor to building a good life, it is far from the only thing. And so the trap that a lot of people get caught in, myself included, during that early part of my journey is in thinking that if I just win this one battle of making money, that everything in my life is going to be great. When the reality is that what you can march towards is what I call the Pyrrhic victory. It is the battle won, but the much bigger picture war lost. And again, you don't have to look far to find examples of the Pyrrhic victory. It is the person who made hundreds of millions, maybe billions of dollars that we pat on the back, that we celebrate, that we admire and we ignore the fact that they have three ex wives and four kids that don't talk to them and we tell that person that they won the game. And my whole life personally changed when I asked myself the question, is that actually a game that I care to win? Because the truth is that you get to decide what games you play in life. You get to decide how you measure your own success. And until you decide and create your own definition, you're just going to be grabbing at everyone else's. So this idea of the five types of wealth is my alternative. It is to say that you need to measure for the bigger picture, war, so that you can take actions against all of these things and build a life that is Truly, comprehensively wealthy. So the five types of wealth that I talk about, time. Wealth is all about freedom to choose how you spend your time, who you spend it with, where you spend it, when you trade it for other things. Social wealth is about relationships, people you love in your life. Mental wealth is about purpose and growth and creating the space necessary to wrestle with some of these bigger picture, more unanswerable questions in life, whether through spirituality, religion, meditation, solitude, what have you. Physical wealth is about your health and vitality. And then financial wealth is the fifth type, with the specific nuance of really trying to understand what your definition is of enough. The recognition being that your expectations are your single greatest financial liability. So if you allow your expectations to grow faster than your assets, you will never feel wealthy.
- [13:25]
Amy Porterfield
O so good. I actually have a question coming up that I wanted to ask you about this concept of enough. So we're going to circle back to that for sure. But while you were sharing the different five types. I hate asking this question. I'm actually embarrassed to ask it because it feels like it's not the point. However, do you think that if you really focused on the four types of wealth, take money out and you really focus in what we're intentional about, finding joy in all those areas and getting really clear about what you want, that the money will come? You know, you've heard it, do something you love, the money will come, that kind of thing. Is that part of this at all?
- [14:05]
Sahil Bloom
I would say I'm a little bit more of a realist about some of these things. I ascribe to the belief that Maslow's hierarchy of needs is very real. Like nowhere in this book and nowhere in anything that I say will I tell you that money doesn't matter. That you know, money doesn't buy happiness. Right? Everyone likes to say that, and it's not true at a low level. And in the early years of your life, money directly buys happiness. The science is very clear on this. Not only does money buy happiness, really, what it does is that money reduces unhappiness. So it reduces fundamental burdens and stresses. It allows you to take care of the people around you, get your basic needs met, afford a few vacations a year. Those are all things where money directly buys happiness. So in the early years of your life, it is perfectly reasonable and okay for money to be the goal. Beyond those early years. Once you come up that early part of the curve, money needs to become a tool to amass and build these other types of wealth, rather than the goal in and of itself. And unfortunately, what happens to most people is, is that in your early years when money did directly buy happiness, you create a pattern in your mind where you believe, okay, incremental unit of money equals incremental unit of Sahil's happiness. And so now I'm convincing myself that that pattern is going to hold forever. Because humans are not that smart, right? Like we pattern ourselves into things and beliefs all the time that then become very hard to break. So that is one pattern that gets created in you from a young age that is very tough to crack. So even though you've kind of come up the curve and it no longer applies, you're convinced it does. So you continue to chase the incremental money as a goal, thinking that it is going to just create the happiness that it previously did, when in fact it no longer applies. That equation no longer holds.
- [15:57]
Amy Porterfield
Wow. I love how real you are about this. I actually thought you would say, yeah, you do those four and all the money's going to flow. But I like the more realistic way to look at it. I think it's refreshing. So tell me this. A lot of people that are in my world, they're launching courses and memberships and coaching programs and some of them have had amazing success with their launches. And so they've made more money than they ever dreamed of. And some are well on their way. So, so those of you who are listening who haven't gotten there yet, you're well on your way. And so when they get there, they are really concerned. They don't want to risk losing this incredible business that they've built. But deep down they know they're no closer to the life that they truly want. They're either overwhelmed, stressed, this is harder than they thought. They quit their 9 to 5 job thinking they'll get freedom. This was totally me in the first few years. I quit my job with Tony Robbins thinking I'm going to have freedom, drink a my tie on the beach with my laptop and do my thing. Four hour work week, huh? There. Oh my gosh, you mean like 4,000 hour work week? I thought I could never work more hours than I work with Tony. Yeah, I could. So it just, it didn't match up and I like had this shock over that. So those who are listening that are building these businesses and they, they're really proud of them, but they don't have the life that they want. Where would they start in this framework? Like what's the thing that you would have them look at or work towards shifting?
- [17:27]
Sahil Bloom
I think that the first step for anyone that's on that path where you feel like you're getting some of the traction, the financial wealth is coming, you're doing pretty well in this area, but the overall life doesn't look like what you want. You can't see a path to getting there. The first thing you need to do is create some space. And when I say space, what I mean is from the second you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing that most people do? You grab your phone and you have a million text messages, email, social media notifications, right? You're literally allowing a million people to just run into your bedroom and stand there with you. You would never do that in reality, but for some reason it feels normalized when it's just on your phone. And what happens is we get into this fixed, perpetual loop of stimulus and response. From the moment we wake up until the moment we go to bed. We are in this loop where stimulus comes in and, and we are urgent in our response. Everything is urgent. We live in this urgency culture, and so we're constantly going like this the entire day, over and over again. Stimulus, response. What happens when you are in this stimulus response loop is you never have the capacity to zoom out and see the bigger picture of where you're headed, of what it looks like, of the vision for the future, to ask some of those more fundamental questions about what your journey really should look like, what you want that life to look like. So the first thing that I recommend people do is to do what I call my Think Day. Like once a month, carve out an hour or two on your calendar to just go to a new space. It shouldn't be in your office, it shouldn't be at home, it shouldn't be a familiar space because your thought patterns follow your environment. So if you go to a familiar space, you'll have familiar thought patterns scientifically. Go to a new space, coffee shop, outside, something, bring a notebook, bring a pen, no technology. And just work through a handful of bigger picture prompt questions that you're going to ask yourself about your life and about your journey. My absolute favorite question right now that I'm constantly asking myself is, if you were the main character in a movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do right now?
- [19:38]
Amy Porterfield
Oh, that's good. Okay, repeat that one more time.
- [19:40]
Sahil Bloom
If you were the main character in a movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do right now? We've all been there. You're like watching a movie or television show and you just want to jump through the screen and grab the main character and shake them. Say, like, chase the girl to the airport. Or like, don't go down in the basement. Look behind you. Whatever that thing is, you are that main character in the movie of your life. And the audience would be screaming something at you right now. So what is it? What is that thing that is so blindingly obvious from the outside looking in that you are either choosing to ignore or have yet to create enough perspective to see? Think about that. I mean, you're listening to this right now. In the days and weeks ahead. Think about that question and then go take some tiny action against your answer. Because that one tiny action might be the thing that sparks the dramatic change in your life.
- [20:37]
Amy Porterfield
Hey, real quick, before we continue, I just want to point out that there is nothing worse than rewriting a sentence on your sales page for the eighth time when you know you're wasting time being a perfectionist about something that was already good. But you cannot help yourself. You can't get out of your own way. Those moments of overthinking might seem small, but my friend, they are robbing you of progress in bigger ways than you even realize. When you get fixated on little things in your business, you are playing small. So I recently created a guide about three mind games that keep you playing small and how to break free from them for good. It will help you work through the exact mindset traps that quite quietly stall your momentum, make you second guess every decision, and keep you overthinking instead of moving forward. You've got to get your hands on this free guide. Amyporterfield.com forward/mind games that's where I want you to go. Amyporterfield.com forward/mind games. It's a free guide to get you out of your own way. Let's play a game real fast. Will you tell me what you think yours would be and I'll tell you what I think mine would be?
- [21:54]
Sahil Bloom
Sure.
- [21:55]
Amy Porterfield
Okay, so you go first.
- [21:58]
Sahil Bloom
Mine would be to recognize that many of the things that I'm complaining about now are things that my younger self prayed for.
- [22:11]
Amy Porterfield
Oh, you're so right. I think so many of I could us can relate to that. So so many things. Say it one more time.
- [22:18]
Sahil Bloom
So many of the things that I complain about today are things that my younger self had prayed for. I mean, I found myself recently complaining about my son barging into my office and like jumping around and making a mess and throwing things around and I had to snap myself back to Five years ago, my wife and I were in the middle of this two year infertility struggle and I had prayed every single night that we would one day have a healthy child. And here I was in this present moment complaining about the exact thing that I had prayed for. And it was this stark reminder to me that it is so easy in life to lose sight of the fact that you are living out your younger self's prayers, creating these triggers to remind yourself, to pull yourself back into the present and to appreciate that all of the things that we take for granted now are things that our younger self prayed for and things that our older self will wish they could go back and do.
- [23:19]
Amy Porterfield
So true. So true. I see some things on Social sometimes where it says like, can you imagine what your 20 year old self would think of you today? And I think about that and she'd be like, no way, that did not happen, that you did not get that or you did not make that happen. She wouldn't even believe it. So you are so right about that.
- [23:38]
Sahil Bloom
I mean it is just true. It's like all of it's. And especially when it comes to the things you're accomplishing professionally because everyone listening to this, all of your listeners, you have the most incredible group of listeners and fans out there that are so ambitious and driven and they are pursuing things with so much energy and intensity. And ambitious people are extraordinary in a lot of ways, but they are broken in one very particular way. And I know because I'm one of them, which is we have a terrible time at recognizing our own growth and appreciating it and like recognizing that, like that book deal that you got that you're bummed about like you're five years ago, you didn't even write, you hadn't written before and you just signed a book deal with a big publisher. Like people are reading your work. I mean, I, like I, I mean I really fought in the publishing of my book. This feeling of like, oh, if I don't hit this or I don't do that, it's going to be a failure. And my wife one day looked at me, she was like, a few years ago you hadn't even written before and you're publishing a book and people are talking about it and people like, like people are getting impacted by it. There's a, you know, someone's mom is saying something to her daughter about the line from your book and, and you're going to complain like I, you, we really need to do a better job of snapping ourselves back from the Edge in that way.
- [25:06]
Amy Porterfield
Oh, a million percent agree. Like, I could absolutely steal yours and say, that's mine, too, and move on, because I 100% relate to that. So I was trying to think, what could it be? And I think it would be like, if. If the movie really depicted me, like, they really got into my head, the audience would be shouting, stop worrying. Like, worry just robs your joy. I've been a worrier since I've been really young. I don't know why, but there's some probably trauma there, some therapy that needs to happen. But I worry about everything. And my husband the other day said, ames, we always work it out. We always figure it out. You always figure it out. Like, no matter what it is, I worry about my students, I worry about my family, all that stuff. And. And at the end of the day, I have a very blessed life. I'm very fortunate. So I think I just waste so much energy and just being present from worrying. So I think that's what everyone would probably shout at me.
- [26:05]
Sahil Bloom
You and I might be siblings in a different life.
- [26:07]
Amy Porterfield
Okay, so you.
- [26:08]
Sahil Bloom
Because I'm very similar.
- [26:10]
Amy Porterfield
Okay.
- [26:11]
Sahil Bloom
I'm so wired to see the downside and everything. I'm like. You know, I like, if there's, like, a 1% chance of something, like, I'm. Somehow. It becomes real to me almost to the point where I can't watch, like, television shows or movies that have a protagonist whose, like, whole life kind of falls apart around, like, financial missteps.
- [26:30]
Amy Porterfield
Oh, my God.
- [26:30]
Sahil Bloom
There's this new show. There's this new show on Apple TV that everyone loves called Friends and Neighbors with Don Ham.
- [26:36]
Amy Porterfield
I watch it.
- [26:36]
Sahil Bloom
I watched, like, half of the first episode, and I said to my wife, I was like, I can't watch this. It's stressing me out. Like, I'm. You know, it's like. It depicts a person living in the area where we live who, like, makes bad financial. You know, it's like, I just can't watch this.
- [26:48]
Amy Porterfield
He's a. He's a train wreck. I totally hear you. Like, I. It makes me so anxious. So. Absolutely, you know, my listeners, they are really good at DMing me from different things. So, y', all, I want you to DM me and tell me, like, what? Would someone scream at you? This is such a fun question because it brings to light, like, oh, I got to take a look at that. Send me a dm. You all know I'm just at Amy Porterfield on Instagram, and tell me, what are people screaming at the screen about? Your life right now, because it kind of feels a little freeing to share it, of brings it to life so you could kind of address it. So anyway, that's. That's a fun one and a very good one to kind of dive into. Okay, so remember earlier I said I want to talk a little bit more about this idea of enough. So on the podcast, it's kind of like a central theme because I talk about money a lot and earning money. I also like to talk about but then how much is enough to you? And we actually did an episode not too long ago about helping people kind of figure that out. But I can't think of a better person than you to help us with this. So how do you define your personal enough and also what helped you get clear on that? Because I think a lot of us struggle with that.
- [27:58]
Sahil Bloom
For me, there are really two stories that bring this concept to life. The first one is a story about two famous American authors, Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller. The two of them one day were walking along sort of the palatial estate gardens of this billionaire in the Hamptons. They're walking around at this party, and Vonnegut turns to Heller and says, joe, how does it feel that just yesterday the owner of this home made more money than your most famous book, Catch 22, made in its entire history? And Joe says, yeah, but I've got something he'll never have. And Vonnegut replies, what's that? And Heller replies, the knowledge that I've got enough.
- [28:43]
Amy Porterfield
Stop there. Like, say less.
- [28:45]
Sahil Bloom
Oh, wow, it's such a powerful idea. When I first read that, like, I kept coming back to it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The audacity to say that the knowledge that I've got enough is something that this billionaire will never have. And yet so true, because the truth is that our expectations are our greatest financial liability. The billionaire that continues to chase more and more and more, who never has enough, is less wealthy than the person who appreciates every single thing that they have and is much less happy. And we can see examples of that all around us. And for all of us that are on this chase, that are on this quest, we have to remember again that question that I said at the outset. What is the money for? What is the life you are really trying to build? What is your enough life? And the important thing, I think, in this whole discussion, especially as I talk about it, is it's not about enough being, like, Spartan or Bear. It's not about, oh, this has to be some simple life that I'm striving for my enough life has multiple houses. I'm just going to say it right, Like I like having money. I'm not like bemoaning money. I want multiple houses specifically because I value the ability to bring together people that I love to create amazing shared experiences. It's not about the flex. It's not about me saying, oh, I have a house in the Hamptons. I don't care where it is. I want to be able to create amazing experiences with people that I love. It is about identifying very clearly the visual of the life that you are trying to build. What are you doing? Where are you? What are you spending time on? What are you thinking about? Who are you with? Those are the questions we need to answer. It's not as much about the number. People think it's like, oh, what's your definition of enough? And someone will say like $10 million, $5 million, a million dollars. The problem with numbers is that scientifically we know that humans have an incredible capacity to subconsciously inflate numbers when we get close to them. Michael Norton is this famous Harvard Business School professor. He did this study where he went and talked to a bunch of high net worth individuals worth anywhere from a million to 100 million plus. And he asked them, how happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Then he asked, how much more money would you need to be at a 10? And across the board, whether they were worth a million or 100 million plus, they all said they needed two to three times as much money to be at a 10. It makes no sense, right? Humans have this incredible capacity to convince ourselves that our full happiness is on the other side of some 2 to 3 Xing of the number. But the actual life that you try to build, the vision of that life, is not subject to that same 2 to 3x inflation. It is a clear picture. It's clear enough in your mind that you can appreciate it as you get to it. The second story I want to share, which I think brings that to life, that vision of the life is this story of the fisherman and the investment banker. This banker goes down to this Mexican fishing village. He's walking along the docks, he comes across this fishing boat with a few fish in it. And he asks the fisherman, how long did it take you to catch those fish? The fisherman says, only a little while. The banker says, why didn't you fish for longer? Fisherman says, well, I have everything I need in the morning. I fish for a little while, then I go home, I have lunch with My wife. Then I take a nap. Then in the evening I go into town, drink wine, play music, and laugh with my friends. The banker's like, you got this all wrong. Here's what you got to do. You got to fish for longer so you can catch more fish. Then you use the money to buy a second boat. Then that boat fishes. You buy a third boat, a fourth boat, a fifth boat, a six boat. Pretty soon you have a fishing enterprise. You move to the big city, you take your fishing enterprise public, and you make millions. And the fisherman looks at him and says, and then what? And the banker is incredulous. He says, and then what? Then you can retire and move to a small fishing town. You can fish for a little while in the morning, Then you can go home, have lunch with your wife. Then you can take a nap. Then in the evening, you can go into town, drink wine, play music and laugh with your friends. And the fisherman just smiles and walks off into the distance. That story is most commonly interpreted as being about the banker being wrong and the fisherman being right. But I really think it's more nuanced than that. It is about the fact that the two have fundamentally different definitions of what it means to have enough. It is perfectly okay and reasonable for the banker's definition of enough to to be about building something big, chasing his ambition, creating jobs, going after this big goal and dream. But for him to apply his definition, his map of reality to the fisherman's terrain makes no sense. The fisherman's already living his definition of enough. And yet that is what we do on a daily basis. When we take out our phones and we compare other people's maps of reality to our lives, we allow other people's maps of reality to impact how we feel about our terrain. That is what we need to avoid. Because if we go out in search, if we don't clearly define our own definition of enough, we're just going to grab someone else's. And it may or may not be the life that we really want to go build.
- [34:03]
Amy Porterfield
Amen to that. It probably won't be, but that's all we're seeing right now. So two really good stories that kind of hit it home for sure. One of my students asked me if I would ask you about this concept of an anti to do list. So you're speaking to a lot of entrepreneurs right now. How do they create one? What is it? What belongs on that list? This anti to do list, which will be very foreign to my audience, for the record, so break it down so.
- [34:33]
Sahil Bloom
We all know What a to do list is, like, at the start of the day, I've got a whiteboard behind me, or you got like a note card and you write down the things that you need to do on a given day. Very common, very familiar. Anti to do lists are the things that you want to avoid doing on a daily basis. I have found the anti to do list to be even more powerful and positively impactful in my journey. Because what you do is you can create a system, a visual system in front of you for avoiding these things that you know are holding you back from the growth that you're trying to create. It's very easy in life and on your growth journey to just focus on the drivers. Like, just focus on the things that are going to allow your engine to be running at full speed. But if you have a bunch of things that are acting as an anchor in the sea floor behind you, they're holding you back from going at full power. You have these habits, these behaviors, these mindsets, these things that are holding you back. And so unless you cut the line by avoiding those actions, you're never going to be able to operate at full power, at your full capacity as a human being. And I have found that just creating a real awareness around what those actions are, you know, like having a. Having an approach to identify what are these things that I need to quit in my own life and rotating them through. Like when there are bad habits that I'm trying to break, they might be on the list, on my anti to do list. And once I've broken them, I can adjust and I can add new things that I'm noticing that I'm doing on a more regular basis. Like, for me right now, one of my big ones is having my phone out in front of my son. I don't want to do that. It's not a habit that I really like having. And so I'm really trying to create a trigger that I am aware of it. It's like, you know, my own version of like snapping a rubber band to try to break a bad habit. I need to be able to see it in front of me and recognize it. That's something I'm trying to avoid. So now when I do it, I can catch myself and say, okay, I'm going to stop. In the past, I've had complaining was on my list. Whenever I catch myself complaining about something, I want it to stop because I knew that was holding me back. Back in the day, like pressing the snooze button when I woke up in the morning, was an anti to do. I want to stop doing that. So it's the things that you're trying to break, writing them down and actually having them visually in front of you so that you are aware as you're doing them that it's something that you're trying to stop.
- [36:54]
Amy Porterfield
Oh, that is so good. Complaining is such a great one. It's so easy to just kind of pick something apart so quickly. I actually love that. It's so funny. Also, one of the values I think of this anti to do list is once you write it down, it's so obvious to you. So this is going to be a little crass and I don't even want to admit it, but my husband, for some reason, I don't know, since we moved to Tennessee, he says the F word a lot. Like, just in normal conversation, and it just. He. It just doesn't sound good. And sometimes we're around people that I'm like, what? Don't say that. And so he's been saying it a lot lately. And so I finally said, do you know you say the F word a lot? He's like, no, I don't. I'm like, you really do. But now that I said it, of course it booms in my ear every time he says it. And I kind of secretly think it booms in his ear as well because he's been saying it less. But anyway, identifying this bad habit, to me, that's half the battle. So just like, knowing it's there.
- [37:50]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah. Complaining is a big one for a lot of people, too. I mean, it is probably my favorite ancient parable is, he who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has already arrived.
- [38:07]
Amy Porterfield
Okay, that's really good. That is really good. Because thinking about complaining, I often just complain about myself, my. My weaknesses, the things I've messed up, blaming myself. So I would think, oh, no, at least I'm not blaming someone else. No, let's. Let's not blame anyone. Let's just chalk it up to that was a rough day and let's move on. So that's actually really good. Okay, so I'm going to take this a little bit of a sharp turn to business because a few months ago, actually it was like a month and a half ago, I started a brand new personal newsletter. Comes out every Tuesday. I'm really proud of it. I. I write all of it. And when I was on my journey to find really good personal newsletters, yours Was recommended to me and the number's probably off now, but the last I read, over 800,000 people. Is it higher than that now?
- [39:00]
Sahil Bloom
It is. Yeah, I know.
- [39:01]
Amy Porterfield
Give us the number. We like numbers.
- [39:04]
Sahil Bloom
I need to look at what the most recent is. It's north of 800,000. We scrub people every quarter. Like, we do a pretty good job cleaning the list, but it's definitely north of there now.
- [39:12]
Amy Porterfield
I knew it. So it's just a really good newsletter. So for those listening, because a lot of my audience, they want to get more personal and connected with their audience. What do you think makes that newsletter work? Like, what is some of the feedback you've gotten? Why is it so popular? Are you writing it? Like, give us some. Some tips here.
- [39:31]
Sahil Bloom
I think that the most important tip is what you said at the very outset when you were talking about yours, which is that you are very proud of it and you write it yourself.
- [39:38]
Amy Porterfield
I really enjoy it. Yeah.
- [39:40]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah. I think that people can tell if it's just like a business lever versus really a sort of like act of service to other people. I have always been of the belief there's sort of a religious undertone to this. I'm not a particularly religious person, but acts of service to others, like creating value for others, you receive value in return. And I have personally found that my newsletter is sort of my, like my act of service. It's a free newsletter. I share it out with the world. Sure do. I hope that you buy my book eventually. If you read my newsletter and like it. Absolutely. And I think you'll really enjoy the book. But at the end of the day, if you were just getting value and taking action on the ideas in this newsletter, I think your life is going to improve a lot. They're all things that are battle tested. They're based on real life, real experiences, conversations I'm having with extraordinary people, etc. That is the most important growth hack anyone can give you when it comes to a newsletter. Write a good newsletter that you are really proud of, that you would read and find value in the next thing. Yeah, I mean the next thing is kind of a simple one, which is ask people to share it. It's so funny to me how few newsletters prompt you to share the newsletter. I. So I've experimented with this. I've run a B tests. You get a 10x increase in sharing from just having a clickable button that allows people to share it easily. Obviously people forward newsletters, but like share to Twitter, you get 10x more shares. Share to LinkedIn you get 10x more shares, all of these things, asking people to subscribe. 10x more people subscribe. It is extraordinary by just making it a little easier and prompting people with a little polite ask, it drives the behavior that you want. And we know that when it comes to like converting someone to purchase the course or the offering or the mastermind, and yet then people don't follow it when it comes to the free thing that they're offering, that they're trying to grow. And so apply those same principles. And you do see a pretty meaningful uptick. The other thing I would say, which is kind of a fun one that I think more people will start doing, is create sort of like collaborations with people around your newsletter. Like, one thing that I really want to do more of in the year ahead is find people that sort of have like, interests, values, and collaborate on pieces that you'll send out to kind of both of your lists that were written in tandem. So like you and I could co author a piece on, you know, how to build, like build a big business that also serves the life you're trying to create and like 10 rules or something that we've created around doing so. And we both send it out to our lists. That's prompting people to then go and, you know, subscribe to the other person's list gets you access to new audiences. It's unique, fresh content that no one else could create because it's a unique blend of our two personalities. I love doing things like that. Yeah, it's sort of the, it's the newsletter equivalent of doing an Instagram collaboration. But no one has really done that.
- [42:33]
Amy Porterfield
No, I haven't seen anyone do that. So that's a really good.
- [42:36]
Sahil Bloom
I think it's a cool opportunity.
- [42:37]
Amy Porterfield
I do too. I love that for sure. I want to, I want to take that one and run with it. That's really good. Well, your newsletter is fantastic. I still have one really important question for you before we get there. Can you tell everyone where they could go to sign up for your newsletter?
- [42:50]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah, it's@sahilbloom.com Newsletter is the best place to find it.
- [42:54]
Amy Porterfield
We'll put it in the show notes as well. Okay. So before you and I came on camera, we were talking about your sweet three year old son. And I was thinking, years from now, when he's able to read everything you've written, your book, your newsletter, when he sees all the podcasts you've been on, what do you think is like the one idea you hope that he carries with him for the rest of his life. What's that one idea?
- [43:20]
Sahil Bloom
That through line, I would just say, never, ever give up your agency. I think that fundamentally everything I write about is grounded in the belief that you are capable as a human being of taking an action and creating a desired outcome. Feeling lost and stuck in life is about losing that belief. You no longer feel you are capable of taking an action to create a desired outcome. And usually that happens because people have allowed it to happen. You've given up your agency in some way. And when you feel that way, and I have felt that way at different times, you need to learn to reassume it quickly. You need to recognize a terrifying reality. That complaining, blaming, pointing fingers, none of those things get you anywhere worth going. Because the terrifying reality is that you are in control of everything. It is all on you. Nobody is coming to save you. But the one thing that you can count on is that you are entirely capable of climbing back all on your own. You're entirely capable of squeezing every single thing you want out of life, of doing all of the hard things, of figuring it out, of meeting your responsibilities with energy and enthusiasm. You are always at the wheel in your own life, and it's your responsibility to just never let go.
- [44:55]
Amy Porterfield
That is powerful. Such a perfect way to end our podcast. I am so glad that we have become friends and you came on the show because you have been such. People talk about you everywhere. So first of all, you're doing a lot right, my friend. And your book, the Five Types of Wealth, it is such an important read, especially for everyone in my audience. So will you tell everybody where to go to grab your book?
- [45:20]
Sahil Bloom
You can get the book on Amazon or anywhere books are sold. It's available at Walmart, Target, basically anywhere that you can find books now. So pick your favorite place.
- [45:30]
Amy Porterfield
Perfect. So you all have two things to do right now. Number one, go grab the book. And number two, get on his newsletter. It is really good and it goes far beyond just business. So so much of us, we were talking about business every day, but everything he teaches is going to weave his way into your business and into your personal life, which is so incredibly important. My friend, thank you so much for being on the show. I'm so very glad that you came.
- [45:55]
Sahil Bloom
I'm so grateful for you. Thank you.
- [45:56]
Amy Porterfield
Take care.