02/08/2026

Summary

The Archers Omnibus – Episode Summary

BBC Radio 4 | August 1, 2026 | Weekly Omnibus of Events in Ambridge

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Overview

This week in Ambridge is marked by upheaval and transition, as relationships are tested and individual characters face pivotal decisions about the future. The central storyline revolves around Fallon and Harrison’s separation, with its ripples felt through family and community. Meanwhile, other villagers contend with generational clashes, changing family structures, and the logistical headaches of organizing the village fête. Set against the familiar rhythms of Ambridge life, there are moments of humor, confrontation, and poignant introspection.

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Major Storylines and Key Moments

1. Fallon and Harrison’s Separation

• Revelation:
  Fallon reveals to Jolene, Kenton, and the family that she and Harrison have decided to separate after returning from Leeds for Harrison’s awards ceremony.
  ["Neither of us wants to split up, but whatever it was that we had, we can't get it back. It's gone." – Fallon (06:32)]
• Family Reactions:
  Jolene and Kenton try to understand and seek reasons: infidelity is ruled out. The separation is shown to be mutual but deeply painful, with both admitting they can't reclaim what’s lost.
• Coping:
  Fallon stays with Linda and Robert before eventually moving back into her and Harrison’s home. Both struggle with the emotional fallout, reflecting on lost dreams and reasons for growing apart, particularly after Fallon's miscarriage and their differing views on having children.
  ["How can you love someone and know that you're the one who's stopping them from being happy?" – Fallon (33:07)]
• Reflection & Support:
  Harrison confides in Kenton, feeling guilt and failure. Kenton offers perspective. Fallon finds understanding in Alice, who draws parallels with her own experiences.
  ["I still went ahead and made a solemn commitment, didn't I?" – Harrison (31:51)]
  ["Sometimes relationships change in ways that neither of you could have foreseen." – Kenton (69:20)]

2. Fallon’s Career Change

• Announcing Her Resignation:
  Fallon decides to leave The Bull and accepts a new role at Lower Loxley, despite Jolene's pleas to reconsider.
  ["I'm sorry, Mum, but I'm handing in my notice. I've accepted a job at Lower Locksley." – Fallon (44:35)]
• Motivation:
  Fallon cites the need for new challenges and taking control of her life after feeling swept along by events since the car crash and miscarriage.
  ["This is me taking charge of my life again." – Fallon (67:56)]
• Jolene’s Struggle:
  Jolene feels blindsided and abandoned, but Fallon is resolute in her desire for change.

3. The Village Fête Controversy

• Admission Fee Backlash:
  The fête committee's decision to charge entry to raise funds for a new church bell sparks widespread grumbling. Concerns are raised that locals may boycott the event.
  ["All it's achieving right now is getting the entire village's backs up." – Kenton (02:20)]
• Concessions Debate:
  Susan takes it upon herself to offer concessions for pensioners and low-income attendees, against committee wishes.
  ["That doesn't seem very Christian to me." – Susan (52:46)]
• New Ideas:
  Linda proposes a pet competition to entice attendance, inspired by the urgent need for a "must see" attraction.
  ["We could really do with...something so enticing people will be compelled to overcome their objections and purchase a ticket." – Linda (56:06)]

4. Generational and Family Tensions

• Chris and Bert’s Clash:
  Bert moves in with Susan and Neil, immediately clashing with Chris over his traditional views and meddling ways.
  ["This place is like a gulag." – Bert (16:02)]
• Beer Incident:
  A major row erupts after Bert gives Martha a sip of his beer, causing Chris to threaten moving out.
  ["She wanted to know what it tasted like. It's all right. I've done you a favor. She thought it was disgusting." – Bert (57:23)]
• Susan’s Perspective:
  Susan defends her father, explaining his harsh upbringing and why she still feels responsible for his care despite his flaws.
  ["Compared to his dad, he's an angel." – Susan (70:44)]

5. The Evolving Lives of Alice and Chris

• Alice and Rex Moving In Together:
  Alice moves in with Rex, delighting Martha but leading to awkwardness for Chris. Fallon reassures Alice that Chris is coping, but there are lingering insecurities.
• Chris and Lottie:
  Chris’s burgeoning relationship with Lottie sees its first hiccup when he too soon suggests moving in together, unsettling Lottie. Alice counsels him to give it time. ["I was just musing...I suggested to Lottie me and her should move in together too. Should have seen the look on her face, Alice." – Chris (54:16)]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Moving Forward:
  “You just gotta listen to your heart.” – Chris (48:49)
• On Family and Forgiveness:
  “Your granddad still deserves our respect… It's how I knew he loved us, and it’s why he deserves my care, as cantankerous as he is.” – Susan (71:15)
• On Heartbreak:
  “I’m not angry with her. …Even then I never wanted us to split up. I wanted us to get through it. But sometimes it’s just not possible.” – Chris (30:53)
• On New Opportunities:
  “You have to go for it.” – Harrison, encouraging Fallon about Lower Loxley job (73:16)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• Fallon and Harrison’s Separation Revealed: 05:13 – 06:52, 24:59 – 27:30
• Kenton Confronts Harrison about the Breakup: 07:45 – 09:07
• Fallon Announces Job Change to Jolene: 43:56 – 44:35
• Chris Argues with Bert Over Parenting: 57:07 – 58:14
• Susan Reflects on Her Father’s Upbringing: 70:10 – 71:56
• Linda’s Pet Competition Idea: 55:58 – 56:28
• Chris Seeks Advice from Alice After Lottie Incident: 53:29 – 55:13
• Fallon and Harrison, Final Scene Together: 72:20 – 74:17

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Summary & Tone

This episode weaves together deeply emotional farewells, new beginnings, and the sometimes comic, sometimes poignant chaos of community life. The tone alternates between stark honesty, gentle humor, and empathy, as longtime relationships shift and reset. Even amidst tension and heartbreak, the Ambridge community demonstrates resilience—always ready for the next village event, and always supporting (and interfering with) each other’s lives.

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For Further Listening:
This summary focuses on core storyline segments and character arcs. The episode is rich in dialogue and reveals, making it rewarding for listeners invested in the long-running saga of Ambridge.

Transcript

[Chris]

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[Alice]

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[Fallon]

they're something else entirely. And on the island of Biukada, local businesswoman Mina Akhtar and her family have

[Alice]

been enjoying the unique pace of life here for generations. Biukada is a place where time stands

[Fallon]

still, and as soon as you step onto the island, you feel at peace and you feel relaxed walking around, exploring different beaches. I think it's just wonderful.

[Alice]

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[Fallon]

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[Alice]

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[Fallon]

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[Chris]

You're listening to the Archers Omnibus from BBC Radio 4.

[Brad]

Fallon.

[Chris]

Not here yet?

[Jolene]

Oh, hi, Kenton. No, not yet. You couldn't open the top oven, could you, my darling? I need to get these roasties in.

[Kenton]

Of course. Have you heard anything from her?

[Jolene]

No, but I'm presuming that means she

[Fallon]

and Harrison have had a good time up in Leeds.

[Jolene]

Anyhow, it's only a few minutes late.

[Kenton]

Fair enough.

[Jolene]

How's it looking out front?

[Kenton]

Yeah, we're pretty much set. Have you had any more thoughts about the fate?

[Jolene]

Sorry, what?

[Kenton]

Well, all I've heard the last few days is people grumbling about how they won't bother going if they're made to pay. I just don't know what the committee's thinking charging for admission.

[Jolene]

Well, it's all to raise money for the new church bell, isn't it?

[Kenton]

Yeah, I know, but all it's achieving right now is getting the entire village's backs up. The beer tent is normally a nice little earner for us, but this year I've got no idea how much stock to Get. Oh.

[Jolene]

We don't have to make a decision right now.

[Kenton]

No, but we need to put an order in by the end of the week.

[Jolene]

Exactly. Pass us the slightly spoon, will you?

[Linda]

It's there next year. How were the awards?

[Jolene]

Did you have a good time?

[Kenton]

Yeah. Was the hotel as fancy as it looks?

[Fallon]

The hotel was great. Thank you, Alan. What's the matter?

[Susan]

Is there somewhat wrong?

[Chris]

Are you sure you don't mind, Brad? We loaned you to the Trout that time.

[Brad]

Why? What's the matter, Chris? Scared I'll help us lose again?

[Chris]

No, I'm just saying. The Knot Outs reckon they're going to be short of a player, and we could lend them someone. Maybe we lend them someone else. Barry, perhaps.

[Brad]

But Barry can't bat or run. Or Cat. He's very old, Chris.

[Chris]

And your point is?

[Brad]

So you want to lend them Barry because he's rubbish?

[Chris]

I wouldn't put it like that.

[Brad]

That's the reason you loaned me out that time.

[Chris]

What?

[Brad]

No, that's what it sounds like.

[Chris]

Oh, Brad, come on. I didn't loan you. You volunteered.

[Brad]

Yeah, but nobody tried to stop me, did they? And this time, the Knot Outs are asking for me specifically. They want me to play for them. My reputation goes before me, even if I am rubbish and better at scoring.

[Chris]

Since when did you get so cocky?

[Brad]

Well, Zainab's not here today, is she? Or Tom? Where's Harrison? I haven't seen him yet.

[Chris]

Harrison will be you. And you can tell they're not outs. There's no need to go gentle. The Battling Bulls are gonna crush em.

[Brad]

No fighting talk.

[Chris]

Too damn right.

[Brad]

So, you're looking forward to Granddad moving in?

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. Can't wait.

[Brad]

Well, he's really looking forward to it. Keeps saying how our place won't be

[Kenton]

good enough for him when he comes back.

[Brad]

Does he know you know he calls your parents house Carter Towers?

[Chris]

Yeah, I know. Mum has been rushing around getting everything ready for him.

[Brad]

He's sleeping in the dining room, isn't he?

[Chris]

Yeah, that's right. We brought a bed down from upstairs, and Mum's emptied the dresser of the best china, supposedly, so he can keep his stuff in it. Although I think it's got more to do with her being terrified he'll break something.

[Brad]

Auntie Susan does like things just so.

[Chris]

Don't I know it. To be honest, I'm not sure how well Mum's gonna cope with having five of us in the house. She's so used to it just being her and dad. Now all of a sudden, she's got Me and Martha and now Granddad.

[Brad]

I wouldn't worry too much. As long as he's got his fags and the TV remote, he's fairly easy going.

[Chris]

Ah, that's where there might be a problem. Oh, sorry. Hang on.

[Brad]

Short.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Fallon]

What?

[Brad]

Something the matter? Who's the message from?

[Chris]

Harrison. It' he can't play.

[Jolene]

Wait. So this all happened after the ceremony? Yeah, on Friday.

[Kenton]

So when did you get back?

[Fallon]

We drove down yesterday morning.

[Jolene]

And you've waited until now to tell us?

[Fallon]

Well, I haven't told anyone except Linda and Robert. I've been staying at theirs. Look, no, me and Harrison couldn't be at Woodbine together. We both need some space. And Linda and Robert haven't got any guests this weekend.

[Jolene]

You still could have come here.

[Fallon]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Jolene]

So why didn't you?

[Fallon]

I just needed time, I guess. Time to figure things out in my head.

[Jolene]

Oh, hold on. That's your keys.

[Kenton]

Is it someone else?

[Fallon]

Sorry, what?

[Kenton]

No, I mean Harrison. All this time that he's been away, has he been having an affair?

[Chris]

No.

[Fallon]

No.

[Kenton]

Are you sure?

[Fallon]

Of course I'm sure.

[Jolene]

So what is it then? Did you have an argument? I mean, I know you've been having a few jitters.

[Fallon]

No, honestly. Look, it isn't anything like that.

[Jolene]

All we're trying to do is understand. We were so excited for you on Friday. Going away for Harrison's awards ceremony. Staying in a lovely hotel. I knew you were. And now to suddenly announce that you're. You're separated.

[Kenton]

This can't have come out of nowhere.

[Fallon]

Something must have happened. No, nothing happened. Things haven't been right for a long time. The only thing that happened on Friday is that we. We finally admitted it. I mean, neither of us wants to split up, but whatever it was that we had, we can't get it back. It's gone.

[Jolene]

Fallon, I'm so sorry.

[Susan]

We.

[Fallon]

Come here.

[Kenton]

I'm just gonna nip out for a bit.

[Jolene]

Nip out?

[Kenton]

Make sure Tracey's holding forward.

[Jolene]

Yeah, all right.

[Fallon]

Oh, I need to get back to work.

[Harrison]

Alan.

[Jolene]

Don't be silly, darling.

[Fallon]

Well, honestly, look at the time.

[Chris]

Harrison, It's Chris. Just wondering how come you're not here. Look, I know you didn't think you played well last week, but if there is any chance you could still make it, we're short on numbers. Give me a call back when you get this kid.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Now what?

[Harrison]

All right, all right, I've heard you.

[Bert]

I'm coming.

[Kenton]

Give us a second.

[Chris]

Blimey.

[Harrison]

All right, I'm coming.

[Kenton]

Ah, so you are Here I thought perhaps you'd disappeared back up north.

[Harrison]

Come on in.

[Kenton]

Do you know when you first said you were going off on Sir Common? I thought it was kind of strange. It hadn't been that long since the car crash. And then there was a court case finding out it had been George all along. You know, Fallon was still getting over the trauma. I was shocked that you thought that was a good time to abandon her. But you know what? She seemed okay with it, so I thought that it must be okay, too. But then to string her along for over a year, make her wait while you got up to who knows what up in Yorkshire.

[Susan]

No.

[Kenton]

Now, listen and don't. Please tell me that nothing happened. I mean, Fallon might believe you, but I know all about running away from relationships when they're not working. It's why I've got a daughter on the other side of the world.

[Harrison]

Kenton, please.

[Kenton]

That's why I was just so happy when you married her.

[Susan]

I thought.

[Linda]

Yes.

[Kenton]

You know, there's a good man. He'll never hurt.

[Harrison]

Kenton, please.

[Kenton]

Why couldn't you at least have been honest with her?

[Bert]

You're right.

[Kenton]

If you knew that it was over,

[Harrison]

I should have done, okay?

[Bert]

I should have done.

[Harrison]

And I am a coward.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah.

[Kenton]

Yes. Yes, you are.

[Harrison]

And I agree. I agree. And I hate myself for not being here for a. But I swear to you, I've never cheated on Fallon. I love her, Kinson. I love her. I still do.

[Kenton]

Harrison.

[Harrison]

All I've done since we got back is sit here looking around at the home we've built together, remembering where we found all the old bits of furniture, picturing Fallon upcycling them and staring at photos of us when we were still happing. I don't understand why it wasn't enough.

[Kenton]

Hey, come on, now.

[Harrison]

I'm sorry for disappointing you, Kenton. I am. For it to end like this.

[Brad]

Chris, what's happening? The guys from the Nut Outs want to start.

[Chris]

Yeah, all right, Brad, just tell them I need a minute.

[Brad]

So, Harrison coming or not?

[Chris]

I can't get through to him. I've just given Zaynab a call, but she's over in Solly hall with friends. Tracey's working at the ball, so she can't fill in either.

[Brad]

Well, we can still have a game.

[Chris]

No, I know. It's just frustrating. For all the banter. You weren't wrong. We are missing some of our best players, and now we haven't got Harrison either.

[Brad]

So you do want us to go gentle on you?

[Fallon]

No.

[Brad]

Good. Because I was only joking. Let's get this match started.

[Chris]

Unless, of course, Brad, you don't really want to be with the Knot Outs, do you? Wouldn't you rather be a Battling Bull?

[Brad]

Oh, I see.

[Chris]

Look, I'm sorry for last time. We shouldn't have let you volunteer.

[Brad]

So, what, you actually think I'm a good player now?

[Chris]

I never thought you weren't.

[Brad]

Yes, you did.

[Chris]

I. I want you on our side because you're part of the team. What do you reckon?

[Brad]

Well, I'd much rather be scoring.

[Kenton]

Much.

[Brad]

But when you put it like that. What?

[Kenton]

You will?

[Brad]

Sure. To be honest, I was mainly just enjoying watching you beg. Of course I'm gonna play for the Bulls. Will you ask Barry or shall I?

[Harrison]

You do. Believe me, if I could turn back the clocks, I might work.

[Kenton]

No, I know.

[Harrison]

And if me and Fallon. If we could go back to how we used to be. I'm so sorry.

[Kenton]

Look, don't be sorry. I'm the one who barged over here. It just came as such a shock. I mean, yes, Fallon's my stepdaughter, but I think of you as a son as well. No, no, I mean, it. It breaks my heart to think of you not being part of our family anymore.

[Harrison]

Me too, mate. Me too.

[Kenton]

Are you sure there isn't any way of working things out? You've only been home a couple of weeks.

[Harrison]

No, I know, but it brought long before that.

[Brad]

But maybe.

[Harrison]

Honestly, Kenton. Honestly, there's no fixing it. We've tried. You're right about family, though. From the very start, you and Jolene, you've always made me feel so welcome.

[Fallon]

It's.

[Harrison]

It's bad enough losing Fallon, but knowing that's gonna have to change, too.

[Kenton]

Well, it's not like you're going anywhere, is it?

[Harrison]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I've only just started my new role, so. No, I don't think so. At least not for the time being.

[Kenton]

Good. So we're not losing you completely, then?

[Harrison]

No.

[Kenton]

Oh, look at the time. Oh, I better get back. Jolene will be wondering where I've got to.

[Bert]

Yeah, sure.

[Harrison]

Yeah, you get on.

[Kenton]

You are going to be all right, though? Oh, yeah, of course.

[Harrison]

I'll be fine. Me, you know.

[Kenton]

Okay. Well, you know where we are if you need us.

[Harrison]

Yeah. Cheers, Kenton. Look, I really appreciate it.

[Kenton]

And make sure you look after yourself, okay?

[Fallon]

Table seven. They want an extra Yorkshire pudding, but no crackling. Is that right?

[Harrison]

Yeah.

[Jolene]

That's okay, isn't it?

[Fallon]

Yeah, of course. I just wasn't sure from the ticket. I'll let you get Back.

[Jolene]

Oh, Fallon, if you aren't feeling up for working today, once I found out where my wretched husband's got to, I can take over for you.

[Fallon]

That'd be ridiculous. The pub's fully booked. I know, but we'll manage somehow. Mum, honestly, no, I'd rather keep busy. Anyhow, Linda and Robert have got people over this afternoon.

[Jolene]

And that's another thing. Do you need somewhere to stay? I mean, presumably Robert and Linda can't keep putting you up and if you don't feel able to go back to Woodford.

[Fallon]

Decided what I'm doing yet?

[Jolene]

Yeah. So why don't you come and stay here? At least then we can take care of you.

[Fallon]

Only taking care of. I know. I just need to get back to the kitchen. Customer's waiting.

[Jolene]

Sweetheart.

[Harrison]

Hold on.

[Kenton]

What's happened now?

[Susan]

There's nothing.

[Jolene]

I was just suggesting she come live here.

[Fallon]

Where have you been?

[Kenton]

I. I know. I'm sorry. I been over to see Harrison. I wanted to hear from him what's been going on.

[Jolene]

And?

[Kenton]

Well. And he's in a bad way. It's why I've been gone a while. He's completely broken.

[Fallon]

So.

[Jolene]

Did he tell you any more about why they've broken up?

[Kenton]

Oh, just the same as what Fallon told us. He even said that he still loves her.

[Jolene]

Really?

[Harrison]

Yeah.

[Kenton]

They've just grown apart.

[Jolene]

Well, of course, they've hardly seen each other the last who knows how many months. It's bound to be strange living together again. There ain't no reason to suddenly decide to split up.

[Kenton]

I agree. But he was also adamant that it's over.

[Jolene]

Well, we'll see when it starts to sink in how much they're walking away from. Maybe this doesn't have to be the end.

[Susan]

Dad, we've been over this. If you really have to smoke, you need to go outside.

[Bert]

Your sister don't mind me smoking indoors in my own room.

[Susan]

No, but we do think of it as an opportunity. How long have we been saying you need to cut down?

[Bert]

That was your idea. Susan. I never wanted to. I'm beginning to wish I'd never let you talk me into moving here now.

[Susan]

Oh, really? You like your room, don't you?

[Bert]

Aye, it's all right.

[Susan]

And the bed's comfy. You slept all right last night.

[Bert]

I told you I did.

[Susan]

And what about the poached eggs? I did. For your breakfast. You enjoyed them.

[Bert]

The oats could have been runnier.

[Susan]

And you've got everything you need here on your side table. Yeah. And you're happy with where we've put your armchair right in front of the television? Yes, so you can stop moaning then and obey one little rule and smoke outside. Now, is there anything I can get you before I leave?

[Bert]

Can you make the telly work? I can't figure out this stupid remote.

[Susan]

Oh, give it to you.

[Chris]

Mum. Thought you'd left for the shop.

[Susan]

Oh, I'm about to. Is Martha okay? Heard her making a fuss.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, she's fine. She just hates having sun cream.

[Bert]

Sun cream? What a load of nonsense. In the summer, back when I was a kid, we dash outside straight after breakfast and we wouldn't come home till it had gone dark. But the sun never did us any harm.

[Chris]

Wasn't as strong back then.

[Bert]

What, you telling me the sun's changed?

[Susan]

Christopher, can you sort the telly out? I think. I think Dad's done something to it.

[Bert]

Me? I ain't done nothing.

[Susan]

I have to go. Look, there's cold cuts for lunch and, oh, make sure he remembers to take his mucus tablet.

[Chris]

Sure, no problem.

[Susan]

Oh, and dad, don't even think about riding your mobility scooter into the village.

[Brad]

What?

[Susan]

I've told you, it's too far. And the road has no pavement, so I can't smoke.

[Bert]

And I ain't allowed to go anywhere neither. This place is like a gulag.

[Chris]

What channel do you want?

[Susan]

Hey, I'll see you both later. Good luck,

[Bert]

Robert.

[Linda]

Goodness. The shepherd's hat is looking better already.

[Kenton]

So you like the new colour, then?

[Linda]

Oh, absolutely. Thank you, darling. I know it hasn't been easy stripping it all back.

[Kenton]

Well, I must admit it's nice to be finally getting the top coat on. How's Alan? You and he were talking for a long time.

[Linda]

Yes, fine. He wanted to go over a few things ahead of this evening's fate committee meeting.

[Kenton]

Did he mention the grumbling?

[Linda]

Oh, about charging for admission. Yes, he did. He's a bit worried, but he says he's used to it. There's always someone ready to moan.

[Chris]

That's true, I suppose.

[Linda]

Indeed. At the end of the day, it was a collective decision. Alan's hoping advance ticket sales will pick up once people realise they'll have to pay more on the gate. We just need to keep faith, as it were.

[Bert]

Yes, well, quite.

[Linda]

Is also proposing we run a competition to name the new belle. Anyone is welcome to suggest a name and then people pay a pound to vote.

[Kenton]

That's a good idea.

[Bert]

Let me think.

[Kenton]

How about Big Bong? I've got it, Belinda.

[Linda]

So, when do you think you will have finished painting the hat?

[Kenton]

Maybe Tomorrow, Wednesday, if that's all right with you.

[Linda]

Yes, of course. I'm not trying to rush you.

[Fallon]

Hiya.

[Linda]

Oh, it's Fallon. Hello. Are you all right? Do you need anything?

[Fallon]

No, no, no, I'm fine. I just thought I'd come outside, enjoy the garden.

[Kenton]

Well, it is a beautiful day.

[Fallon]

Oh, I wanted to check as well. You're sure you don't mind me being here?

[Jolene]

No.

[Fallon]

Well, I don't want to stop you taking bookings.

[Linda]

Don't be silly.

[Kenton]

That doesn't matter.

[Linda]

As we explained, we are fully booked from Friday.

[Kenton]

Yeah, until then, the room is yours.

[Linda]

You're more than welcome to stay.

[Fallon]

Oh, thank you.

[Linda]

Not at all. Fallon. If you want to be by yourself, there's a little gazebo down by the river.

[Jolene]

Oh, okay.

[Linda]

Or I'm going to sit on the terrace and deal with some fake business. You can join me if you like.

[Chris]

Martha, why don't you pick some rose petals? Ms. Poppit said she'd love some tea made from them.

[Bert]

You gonna let her run right in your mum's flower bed?

[Chris]

Hello, Granddad. Thought you were watching your program.

[Bert]

It's finished. Now I need a fag.

[Chris]

Oh, do you have to?

[Harrison]

What?

[Chris]

Smoke in front of Martha?

[Bert]

I'm outside.

[Kenton]

All right.

[Bert]

What else? I must have poked a.

[Fallon]

Go.

[Chris]

Hang on, hang on.

[Bert]

Don't be such a big girl's blouse. She's all the way over there.

[Chris]

No, no, you were gonna sit on Miss Puppet.

[We Feed Raw Advertiser]

Oh.

[Bert]

What you doing lacking about with dolls for anyway?

[Chris]

We're having a tea party.

[Bert]

Are you now?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Bert]

I hear our Brad saved your bacon yesterday.

[Brad]

What?

[Bert]

At the cricket. Neil says you only won because you begged Brad not to play for the opposition. Well, only say what?

[Chris]

I heard it was really Rex who tipped the balance.

[Bert]

Rex Fairbrother?

[Chris]

Yeah. Tracy must have told you. Rex and me captained the team together.

[Harrison]

I like the Ruggie thing.

[Chris]

If you're interested, we could always bring you down to the ground, Set you up on a chair in the pavilion, watch a match.

[Bert]

You must be joking. I can't stand cricket. It's like watching paint dry. So this new girl you're seeing, do

[Chris]

you want an ashtray?

[Bert]

Anything's better than that Aldrich girl. I always knew it would come to no good.

[Chris]

Okay, granddad, let's. Let's not go there.

[Bert]

I'm just saying, it's what happens when you start thinking you're better than what you are. That's your mom's fault, that is, with all her airs and creases.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Bert]

At least you got shot of that little Madam, when you did.

[Chris]

That's the mother of my child you're talking about. And she's been through a lot.

[Bert]

Through a lot of booze, more like. I'm only telling you how I see it. For your own sake, lad, let's hope you've made a better choice with this.

[Harrison]

Lottie.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You know what? I'm gonna take Martha to feed the ducks on the green.

[Bert]

What? You're going to the village, are you? How you going to get there?

[Chris]

I'm driving. Martha, we'll have to finish your tea party later, sweetheart.

[Bert]

Can I have a lift?

[Linda]

I've got nothing against naming the bell per se. But as Robert almost instantly demonstrated, when the British public are given the opportunity, their responses often end up being, well, rather perverse.

[Fallon]

You mean like Basie McBoatface?

[Linda]

Yes. That would be the most notable example. I mean, Alan could find hanging in the tower at St. Something as inappropriate as Hell's bell.

[Fallon]

I mean, I suppose you could always give people options. Give them 4 or 5 not so ridiculous names and ask them to vote for the one they prefer.

[Linda]

Now that is a much more sensible idea. Well done, Fallon. I knew there was a reason I asked you to rejoin the committee. We'll suggest it to Alan this evening. Now, what else ought we to add to the agenda?

[Fallon]

Oh, actually, Linda, there, it's Eddy is

[Linda]

lobbying for ferret Roulette. It could be fun. But I've told him we can't have serious betting.

[Fallon]

I won't be there.

[Linda]

Although I'm not entirely certain Alan would object if it raised a lot of money.

[Fallon]

Linda, I said I won't be coming to the committee meeting.

[Linda]

Sorry, what?

[Fallon]

In fact, I think I'm gonna have to step back completely. I know you wanted my help, but sitting here now, I just haven't got the headspace. I'm so sorry. You and Robert are being so kind to me.

[Harrison]

Me?

[Linda]

Don't be silly.

[Fallon]

I feel like I'm letting you down.

[Linda]

Of course you aren't. I thought the fate might be a distraction. But if you're not feeling up to it. Honestly, Fallon, I completely understand.

[Kenton]

Ladies. Sorry to interrupt. Robert, I'm on my way inside to fetch a drink.

[Fallon]

Can I get either of you anything? Oh, no, thank you. In fact, I might take myself off for a little walk.

[Susan]

Oh, it is good of you, Christopher. I know he doesn't like not being able to get down to the village. It was kind of you to bring him along.

[Chris]

I didn't want to. I was trying to get away from the horrible things he was saying about Alice, you'd think he'd know I don't like it. And even if he doesn't, what about Martha? She could easily have overheard.

[Susan]

All right, but you know how he is. The best thing to do is steer him onto something else. Potholes, for instance.

[Fallon]

Yeah, but why does he even have

[Chris]

to say it, Mum?

[Harrison]

It's so offensive.

[Susan]

I know, I know. Oh, hey dad, how you getting on? Martha finally chosen what she's having?

[Bert]

Oh, she's having a lolly. And I'm having one of them posh chocolate covered ice creams.

[Susan]

Oh, they're my favorite. Especially the white chocolate ones. Let me see. That's 420, please.

[We Feed Raw Advertiser]

Well.

[Chris]

Oh well, I thought you were treating her well.

[Bert]

You wanted to bring her down here.

[Chris]

Yeah, never mind. Actually, Mum, while I'm at it, can I buy a couple of fate tickets?

[Susan]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Chris]

I don't need them for Martha and Maddie, do I?

[Susan]

No, no. Under 12s are free.

[Bert]

How much are OAPs?

[Susan]

Same as everyone else. £3.

[Chris]

There you go.

[Bert]

What, no concessions? That ain't fair.

[Chris]

Right, I'm gonna take Martha outside before her lolly melts.

[Kenton]

Oh, why?

[Susan]

Eat your tickets, love.

[Chris]

Oh yeah, right, channel in you. No, put that back. Lets go feed the ducks.

[Bert]

I suppose this is because the vicar wants us all to pay for his bell.

[Susan]

It's not his bell, dad, it's the churches.

[Bert]

You pay for it, then it's your Neil who rings the plastic thing.

[Susan]

Oh, look, I was surprised too that there weren't any concessions. But as long as you buy them in advance, they are only £3.

[Bert]

That's all right for you. For us pensioners, £3 is a lot of money. Why should I have to pay for something I've been going to forget free since I were a kiddie?

[Susan]

Oh, all you normally do is sit at home complaining about the noise.

[Bert]

Well, I won't have to. This year I'll be stuck at your place, not being able to afford to go.

[Susan]

Oh, all right, fine, dad, you can have a concession.

[Alice]

What?

[Bert]

Really?

[Susan]

Oh, why not? You aren't the only person who's complained. It was probably just an oversight by the committee.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Careful Martha, not too close. They'll have your lolly. Oh, Fallon.

[Harrison]

Hi.

[Fallon]

Morning, Chris.

[Chris]

Hang on. How's it going? You all right?

[Fallon]

Yeah, I'm okay, all things considered.

[Chris]

Listen, I wanted to apologize for the other day.

[Fallon]

Other day?

[Chris]

It's not your fault. Alice hadn't told me about Rex moving in either. Oh, just a bit of a surprise, you know, finding out about it.

[Fallon]

Honestly, Chris, I Should.

[Chris]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Fallon]

I was in a funny place, really.

[Chris]

Me and Alice have spoken about it now and it's all cool. I just didn't want you to think you'd put your foot in it.

[Fallon]

No. Okay. Thanks.

[Chris]

Oh, is Harrison all right?

[Fallon]

I'm not sure. To be honest, I've not seen him.

[Brad]

Why?

[Chris]

Is he away somewhere? Is that the reason he couldn't play yesterday? Play cricket? He sent me a message just before the match, but he didn't give an explanation.

[Fallon]

Right. Yes, I see.

[Chris]

Am I missing something?

[Fallon]

No. Chris, I'm sorry, I. Looks like I've done it again.

[Chris]

Done what?

[Fallon]

Me and Harrison. We're splitting up. I. I just assumed he would have told you.

[Chris]

What do you mean you're splitting up?

[Fallon]

You realize we've reached the end of the road.

[Chris]

No, you can't be.

[Fallon]

So you really haven't heard anything from him? Apart from a message?

[Chris]

No. I mean, I did try and call him. It never occurred to me it would be something like that, though.

[Fallon]

Okay, well, maybe you should try again. He's pretty cut up.

[Chris]

Yeah, of course.

[Fallon]

The last thing I want for him is to go into himself. I know what he's like. What he needs now is his mates around him. You need to reach out to him, Chris.

[Alice]

Rex, you're not serious. You've got to have more stuff than that.

[Kenton]

No, not really.

[Bert]

I mean, look, there's no point me

[Kenton]

bringing any of my kitchen stuff to yours, is there?

[Alice]

Well, no, I know. Well, come on, then.

[Kenton]

Right, let's get this stuff back to yours.

[Brad]

Right.

[Alice]

I guess the only thing left to do now is tart this place up.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, I suppose.

[Alice]

Rex.

[Fallon]

What I said, you're right.

[Alice]

But I'm not suggesting you need to paint roses and castles and everything. But if you're gonna rent it out to holiday makers, though, it doesn't need to look nice.

[Kenton]

Yeah, I gotta get the mooring license changed first.

[Bert]

Ready?

[Alice]

You know, hold on just one sec.

[Kenton]

What? Have I forgotten something?

[Alice]

No, I just wanted to say I know how much you love this boat, so thank you for giving out for me. I'm really excited about us living together.

[Kenton]

So am I.

[Alice]

I've bought some state, by the way, to mark you officially moving into the next.

[Kenton]

Oh, amazing.

[Alice]

Do you need help to carry that box? Oh, sorry, hang on. Oh, it's a message from Fallon.

[Harrison]

Oh.

[Alice]

She's asking if I'm free this evening. She's wondering if she can come round.

[Harrison]

No, not at all. Chris. Mayor, come on through.

[Chris]

Cheers, Harrison.

[Harrison]

I'm just finishing my Dinner. Not long being back from work.

[Chris]

No worries. What are you having?

[Harrison]

Oh, it's a Thai red curry.

[Chris]

That smells amazing.

[Harrison]

Yeah, just grabbed it out of the freezer. Fella made it.

[Chris]

All right.

[Harrison]

Listen, I'm. I'm sorry about the cricket. Oh, no. I just weren't up to it, mate.

[Chris]

As if that matters. Just wish you'd let me know what was going on.

[Harrison]

I know I should have done.

[Chris]

So, what's happened, eh? I couldn't believe it when Fallon told me. You can't really be splitting up. You're like the perfect couple.

[Harrison]

Clearly, we aren't.

[Chris]

Okay, maybe not perfect, but you and Fallon, you're made for each other.

[Harrison]

Perhaps that's why I didn't tell you.

[Chris]

How do you mean?

[Harrison]

Well, it's hard disillusioning people and you've got a certain idea. I haven't even told me folks yet. Keep picking up the phone to ring them and then I just check it out. But I'm kind of realizing that's what I do. I stick my head in sound.

[Chris]

Oh, mate, it's all right.

[Harrison]

I'm all right.

[Chris]

Yeah, I know. Hey, it's not like you weren't there for me when I was going through it with Alice. It's my turn. Come on, tell me what's been going on.

[Fallon]

I'm sorry, Rex.

[Jolene]

I feel bad.

[Fallon]

You've only just moved in and I'm kicking you out of the kitchen.

[Chris]

Don't be daft, Fallon.

[Fallon]

It's fine.

[Chris]

I've still got a bit of unpacking to do.

[Alice]

Yeah, I've had to give up one whole drawer for him to put his clothes in.

[Fallon]

Oh, no, not an entire drawer.

[Chris]

That's not true.

[Kenton]

There's stuff in the wardrobe, too.

[Alice]

He's your iced tea fella.

[Fallon]

Oh, cheers, Alice.

[Chris]

Right, I'll leave you both to it. What time do you want me to put Martha to bed?

[Alice]

Give her another half hour because it's the holidays.

[Chris]

Okay, no problem.

[Alice]

Are you sure you don't mind, though?

[Kenton]

Of course not. I'm hoping she'll let me read the

[Chris]

lion inside to her.

[Kenton]

It's my favourite.

[Chris]

Catch you later.

[Alice]

Okay.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Alice]

Thank you, Rex.

[Jolene]

Yes?

[Fallon]

Thank you.

[Brad]

What?

[Alice]

Nothing.

[Fallon]

You're allowed to be happy in front of me. And I hear that Chris is fine with it, too.

[Alice]

When did you hear that?

[Fallon]

I bumped into him yesterday. He said you'd spoken.

[Alice]

Yeah, we have.

[Fallon]

And he really is okay with Rex living with you, is he? Because he didn't seem too happy when I put my foot in it last week.

[Alice]

Fallon, you didn't put your foot in it. It's my bad for not to telling him straight away.

[Fallon]

So everything's cool?

[Alice]

Absolutely. In fact, he's taking Martha to Lottie's tomorrow. She's gonna stay over.

[Jolene]

Oh, wow.

[Fallon]

So it's a big week for her then? How did she react to her ex moving in?

[Alice]

Yeah, she loves means. There's always someone to roughhouse her now. Although when I asked her if she minded, she did wonder if Daddy could come live with us too. No, really, she wasn't upset or anything. Just reminded me there are things she still doesn't understand. Yeah, yeah, but enough of that. We're not here to talk about me. How are you?

[Chris]

No, but you know what I mean. In a way, having a big bust up would have made it easier.

[Harrison]

Exactly. Even when I told her I could have come home six months ago, I thought Fallon might get angry.

[Chris]

You could have come back earlier.

[Harrison]

I'll never told her.

[Chris]

But she didn't get mad at you?

[Harrison]

No, no, she understood. And I wanted her to shout at me.

[Chris]

Oh, mate, I'm so sorry. Accepting a relationship's over, even when you don't want it to be, is rough.

[Harrison]

Are you sure I can't get you a drink?

[Chris]

No, no, I'm driving.

[Harrison]

A soft drink or something.

[Chris]

Arison, you stay where you are. Don't you get up from your deck chair.

[Kenton]

All right.

[Chris]

If it helps, there were loads of times when everyone told me I should be angry with Alice. They told me she didn't deserve me, that I was better off without her. I'd done everything I could. And yeah, sure, there were times when I was absolutely furious with her.

[Harrison]

I'm not angry with her.

[Chris]

No, that's not what I'm saying. What I mean is, even then I never wanted us to split up. I wanted us to get through it. But sometimes it's just not possible.

[Harrison]

At least you've got Martha.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's true.

[Harrison]

Might not have worked out, but you and Alice will always have that special bond. Always have summit to treasure. And what have me and Fallon got, eh? No. Exactly.

[Chris]

Oh, come on. Don't forget all the amazing times you've had together.

[Harrison]

And now I'm back at square one.

[Chris]

So was that the biggest factor? Not having children?

[Harrison]

To be honest, if I knew then what I know now, we probably never would have got married.

[Kenton]

Really?

[Harrison]

Well, I don't know. Maybe not. Even when Fallon told me she didn't want children, I thought I'd be okay with it just as long as we were together. And ever since the miscarriage

[Chris]

oh, dear.

[Harrison]

I still went ahead and made a solemn commitment, didn't I?

[Chris]

You're. You're being very harsh on yourself.

[Harrison]

Am I, though?

[Jolene]

Am I?

[Harrison]

You just said it yourself. You went through terrible times with Alice.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Terrible.

[Harrison]

Worse than anything me and Fallon have been through. And even the crash.

[Chris]

I don't know about that.

[Harrison]

And you always stood by her. What did I do then? I was right. Ran away and buried myself in work.

[Chris]

There's no point beating yourself up about it now.

[Harrison]

Why not? The truth. You never let down Alice the way I've let down Fallon.

[Fallon]

Even when I told them about Harrison extending his secondment, I can tell Mum and Kenton still think there's a way of fixing things, but.

[Alice]

Whereas to me, that's the biggest sign. The relationship was in trouble.

[Fallon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alice]

I mean, even if Harrison did want to see the job through, he still should have discussed it with you.

[Fallon]

Well, we know why he didn't. If he'd have come back, we'd have had to face the truth. Neither of us have been able to get past the miscarriage.

[Alice]

Really? The way I remember it, it was Parison who couldn't handle it. The way he treated you was. Well, appalling. I mean, I get him being angry with me.

[Fallon]

Yeah, I know. I know.

[Alice]

He thought I'd cause the crash. But then to shout about it in front of everyone, screaming on the green about how you'd lost the. The baby.

[Fallon]

He does regret doing that also.

[Jolene]

He should.

[Alice]

It's you it happened to. You're the one who nearly died.

[Fallon]

I know. But it was still his baby. And seeing the strength of his reaction. How can you love someone and know that you're the one who's stopping them from being happy?

[Alice]

You're allowed to not want children, Fallon.

[Jolene]

Of course.

[Fallon]

But I can't pretend not to see what it's doing to him. And then once you stop being able to talk about one thing. It hit me the other day. The people who helped me to get over the crash. It was you and Mum and doing the swim up in the lakes with Ed and Jazzo. It wasn't Harrison. When I realized that, it just made me really sad.

[Alice]

I guess sometimes things happen that are so irreparable. It's what happened with me and Chris. I just couldn't get past what I'd done to him. Honestly.

[Fallon]

What a pain.

[Alice]

No, I know. I came out the other end, though. I know that's hard to see now.

[Fallon]

No, but you're right.

[Alice]

How are you feeling about the job at Lower Locksley? Are you still Going to take it?

[Fallon]

Absolutely.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Fallon]

No, it's the one positive thing that I'm holding onto. I'm just trying to summon up the courage to tell Nanon. Kenton.

[Alice]

Oh, Wonder who that is.

[Fallon]

Guess you best go find out. Yeah, I guess.

[Alice]

Help yourself to more iced tea, by the way. Oh, and there are some fancy gourmet marshmallows. Rex bought them for me. Look in the cupboard next to the fridge.

[Kenton]

That's all right. I'm getting it. Evening, Chris.

[Chris]

Rex. Sorry, wasn't expect. How are you? Oh, yeah, good, thanks.

[Brad]

Come on in.

[Chris]

Thanks. Hi, Alice.

[Alice]

Hi.

[Chris]

Not disturbing you? No, no, no, no, not at all. I'll only be a minute. Martha left Ms. Poppit in the car and I know she struggles to sleep without her, so.

[Alice]

Oh, Chris, that's sweet of you.

[Chris]

She's still up.

[Alice]

Oh, yeah.

[Kenton]

I must be very boring.

[Chris]

She dropped off.

[Kenton]

I was reading to her.

[Chris]

Oh, right. Well, never mind.

[Jolene]

Here she is.

[Chris]

Anyhow, thanks.

[Fallon]

Actually, it's good you've come over.

[Kenton]

I was putting my clothes in the

[Chris]

wardrobe and I found a couple of

[Kenton]

things I think must be yours. I'll just go and grab them for you.

[Chris]

Oh, okay. Do you know what they are?

[Alice]

No. No idea. Fallon's in the kitchen. We've been talking all evening.

[Chris]

How is she?

[Alice]

Chris, it's just so sad. The more she explained it, though, the more it sounds like it was inevitable.

[Chris]

Yeah. I've just been over with Harrison.

[Alice]

Oh, really?

[Chris]

He's completely heartbroken. It's hard to see, especially when you know what he's going through. Not that I'm saying.

[Alice]

No, I know.

[Chris]

But I guess we're proof that you can get through it.

[Alice]

Well, that's what I've been telling Valen. It's just such a shame it had to happen to them, but they've got the two of us to support them.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Here we go.

[Kenton]

Found a couple of old video game

[Chris]

cards and one of those collapsible travel cups. Ah, no way.

[Alice]

I don't remember you having that.

[Chris]

Yeah, of course you do. I always took it with me on the long drives down to visit you at uni.

[Fallon]

Oh, right.

[Chris]

And these were wearing the wardrobe? Yeah, right at the back of the top shelf.

[Kenton]

Do you want them?

[Bert]

Sure.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I guess

[Chris]

I'll be off then.

[Kenton]

Oh, let me get the door for you.

[Chris]

Are you still okay to drop off Martha?

[Alice]

Oh, yeah, of course. Does she need anything to take to Lottie's with her?

[Chris]

No, don't think so. Except for Ms. Poppit.

[Alice]

Yeah, of course. Well, good night, then.

[Chris]

Yeah, night. Night. Both of you. Yep.

[Kenton]

See ya, Chris.

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[Kenton]

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[Jolene]

Oh, wow, this is nice.

[Brad]

Look at the view you've got.

[Bert]

Oh, it ain't bad.

[Brad]

Come on, Granddad. Back home, all you can see out your window is next door's fence and our old broken washing machine.

[Bert]

I know, I know.

[Brad]

Here you can sit with the patio doors wide open, gaze out across the fields.

[Bert]

Like I said, Brad, it ain't bad, but living with your aunt and uncle ain't. All a better rose is mine.

[Chris]

Martha, sweetheart, it's time to come inside.

[Bert]

And don't get me started on your cousin.

[Brad]

Who, Chris?

[Bert]

The way he runs around after that little girl. He lets her get away with anything.

[Chris]

Oh, come on, darling. We need to get you ready to go to Lottie's.

[Bert]

She were running amok in the flower bed the other day. And instead of giving her a ticket off, he took her out for an ice lolly.

[Chris]

All right, I'll push you on the swing for two minutes.

[Bert]

See what I mean? If I were him, I'd drag her inside and tell her to do as she's told. She'll grow up to be as spoiled as that mother of hers.

[Fallon]

Fallon.

[Jolene]

There we are. Hey. What you doing? You all right?

[Fallon]

Yeah, yeah, fine. The kitchen's so hot. I'm just getting a bit of fresh air. I'll go back inside in a minute.

[Jolene]

Well, I'll take your time. In no hurry. Still a while before the dinner rush starts. So you. You went over to Alice's last night, then?

[Fallon]

Yeah, just, you know, for a chat.

[Jolene]

How was that? Ah, did it help to spend some time together?

[Susan]

Sure.

[Fallon]

I mean, she mainly just let me talk at her, but, yeah, it was good.

[Jolene]

And Harrison? Have you spoken to him yet?

[Fallon]

No.

[Jolene]

Do you think you should? Alan, I know you said you both need some space, but if you carry on not talking to each other.

[Fallon]

No, we're not talking.

[Jolene]

Yeah, all right, but. Oh, no, you've had a few days. You can't hide at Robert and Linda's forever.

[Fallon]

You said I was hiding.

[Jolene]

I. I just think if you tried communicating. I mean, you've made this decision to separate and if that's what you want, if you're totally certain.

[Fallon]

I am.

[Jolene]

Then of course, it's your life. All I want for you is to be happy. I'm just worried you're rushing in to some of your regrets.

[Fallon]

Right. I need to get back to the kitchen.

[Jolene]

Darling, don't walk away.

[Kenton]

No, I'm not.

[Fallon]

I'm. I'm just saying. Can we do this when I'm not about to start service? And we do need to talk about my job.

[Chris]

Martha, if you can't find your fidget, we'll have to look when we get back tomorrow. We need to go. Martha.

[Brad]

You off, Chris?

[Chris]

Hi, Brad. Yeah, if I can ever get to come downstairs.

[Bert]

What were I saying?

[Chris]

Sorry, what?

[Bert]

Nothing. I was just telling Brad you're off to see your new bit of skirt.

[Chris]

Her name is Lottie and it's the first time Martha would have stayed over. The plan is she's going to share the room with Lottie's little girl, Maddie.

[Bert]

Right. So it's getting serious, then?

[Chris]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Bert]

Just mind she don't get her claws into you. Single mum like that looking for a bloke to pay her bills.

[Chris]

Lottie pays her own bills. She's got a good job for now.

[Bert]

She is down the road. Who's to say she won't bleed you dry?

[Chris]

Oh, you've hardly met her.

[Bert]

No, but I've lived long enough to know what women are like. You need to watch your back.

[Chris]

I do, do I? What about Grandma? Did you have to watch your back? There.

[Bert]

You mind what you were saying. That woman was a saint. I'm not having you speaking ill of the dead.

[Brad]

Ah, Granddad, you see, this is why I had to come over. I was missing all the wise words of advice.

[Bert]

And that's all it is. Advice. Take no notice if you want. It's your choice.

[Brad]

Now, don't wait for me to put my shoes on. Go and sit yourself down.

[Harrison]

All right.

[Bert]

All right, then. Thanks for dropping, boy.

[Brad]

Sure. No problem.

[Bert]

Oh, and Brad.

[Brad]

Yeah?

[Bert]

Remember what I said about not opening your birthday card till tomorrow? There might be a little summer inside.

[Brad]

I won't. See you soon, Granddad.

[Chris]

Wow. I can't remember the last time he gave me anything for my birthday.

[Brad]

Ah, it'll be Mum who organized it. He won't have remembered.

[Chris]

All the same, I thought it'd be Mum who struggled. But we're only three days in and I want to strangle him. Does he not drive you insane?

[Brad]

I don't take that much notice. You know how he is. He just enjoys being miserable. Some of the stuff he says is even quite funny.

[Chris]

If you say so. Gonna have to take a leaf out of your book. Try and let it wash over me. It's only another week until I can move back into my flat.

[Brad]

Well, exactly. And you're not even here tonight. Well, I hope it goes well. Catch you later.

[Chris]

Thanks, Brad. See ya. Oh, Martha. What are you doing up there? Come on, it's time to go.

[Jolene]

Great message from table 12. They wanted you to know that that was the best lemon posset they'd ever had. Although you could probably tell that from their spotless ramekins.

[Fallon]

So, is that service over?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Yep.

[Jolene]

All done. Hallelujah. So it's now a good time to have that chat? Look, I can't make any promises, but if it's managing on your own you're worried about, I'm sure we can have a look at what we're paying you. I'm not saying it'll be a fortune. I mean, keeping this place afloat. Don't get any easier, please. But you've done such an amazing job transforming the menu.

[Fallon]

It's not about my salary.

[Alice]

Oh.

[Susan]

Oh.

[Jolene]

So what is it then?

[Fallon]

Fallon? I want to start by saying how grateful I am to you and Kenton, you've allowed me to have so much freedom. I'm really proud of everything we've done.

[Jolene]

Well, so you should be.

[Fallon]

The thing is, I need new challenges. I want to spread my wings.

[Jolene]

Okay, well, I'm sure we can do something about that. I mean, the bar upstairs could do with a revive.

[Fallon]

No, Mum, no.

[Jolene]

And we've been talking forever about doing a proper American style barbecue in the beer garden. How about that?

[Fallon]

That's not what I'm talking about either.

[Jolene]

Oh, so. So what are you talking about?

[Fallon]

I. I just don't see myself as a pub chef. I. I'm sorry, Mum, but I'm handing in my notice. I've. I've accepted a job at Lower Locksley. So what do you think the chances are of the two of them actually going to sleep?

[Chris]

I wouldn't put money on it. At the moment, they're both in Maddie's bed playing shadow puppets.

[Alice]

Is that right?

[Chris]

Still, it's great to see how well they're getting along. I know they've been on a few playdates and they see each other at school, but.

[Fallon]

No, but it's different when you're little and you're staying at someone else's house.

[Chris]

Yeah, exactly. And Martha's already had a lot to adjust to this week.

[Fallon]

What, with Rex, you mean? I thought you were fine with him moving in.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I am.

[Kenton]

But.

[Chris]

But nothing really. Rex is a great guy. And if Alice feels the time's right. Well, she wouldn't have allowed him to move in with him if she wasn't pretty certain it's gonna last. And just because they've only been been together a few months, it's when you know, you know. Yeah, precisely.

[Fallon]

Well, good for them. Oh, pass me my wine. Let's go curl up on the sofa and relax. So the idea is for people to think of Lower Loxley as more than just a historic country house. It's somewhere you can go to learn new skills, explore. Explore your own creativity. Whether it's rural crafts or music or cookery or art.

[Jolene]

So how long have you and Elizabeth been discussing this?

[Fallon]

Since the new year. Really? But it were only just last week that she came to me with a proper job offer.

[Jolene]

Nice of her to mention it to me.

[Fallon]

Don't be angry with Elizabeth. She's been telling me. I need to talk to you. I just wanted to be certain first.

[Susan]

Certain?

[Jolene]

How can you be certain about anything at the moment? You've already turned your life upside down.

[Fallon]

Oh, this is just crazy.

[Chris]

Why would you want to walk out

[Jolene]

on Your job and all.

[Fallon]

Because I. I need a change. I. I've spent the last 18 months of my life doing nothing but go back and forth between this place and my house next door.

[Linda]

Well, how do you think I feel?

[Jolene]

I've been living above the pub for

[Susan]

going on 26 years.

[Fallon]

You enjoy it, though. I need more. No, I. I didn't mean it like that.

[Jolene]

So that's it, is it? You're just going to abandon us, Leave me and Kenton in the lurch?

[Fallon]

I'm not just leaving you in the lurch. I'll leave all the recipes that I've made. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's just the way it is. Get my claws into you. Is that what you genuinely say?

[Chris]

Oh, not just that, no. Granddad reckons you're going to take all my money and live the life of Riley.

[Alice]

Well, so what did you say?

[Chris]

I told him you're an independent woman with your own career and he should mind his own business.

[Susan]

Or maybe you're just so besotted you haven't noticed how deeply I've got my claws into you.

[Chris]

Maybe I quite like it.

[Fallon]

Oh, really? Do you now?

[Chris]

Yeah, I do.

[Fallon]

Do you think the girls are asleep yet?

[Alice]

I hope so.

[Chris]

Do you want me to go upstairs and check?

[Fallon]

No, no. Give it another few minutes, just in case.

[Alice]

Okay.

[Chris]

Well, there's a little bit of wine left if you. If you want to share it.

[Susan]

Go on then.

[Fallon]

Might as well.

[Chris]

You know, I've been thinking. In a way, this is the start of a brand new era.

[Jolene]

Oh, is it?

[Chris]

Well, at least for me it is. I mean, here we are and Alice has got Rex and it's the first time since we split up that we've both been in settled relationships.

[Alice]

Well, that's good, isn't it?

[Chris]

Well, yeah, of course. No, it's just.

[Brad]

What?

[Chris]

Funny, that's all. You know how things change. I mean, even a couple of years ago, I really struggled to imagine myself with anyone new. But then I never imagined Fallon and Harrison would split up either. I know you've not really met Harrison. No, but they were such a great couple. It just goes to show, we spend so much time waiting to be sure, but nothing's completely certain.

[Fallon]

How much have you had to drink? You're getting very philosophical.

[Chris]

Oh, sorry. Maybe I'm talking rubbish, but you know what I mean. It's like Alice and Rex. It's true, I. I did think it was a bit soon for them to be living together, but actually, now I think about it, what difference would a few more months make? There's no guarantees. You just gotta listen to your heart.

[Fallon]

When you know, you know.

[Chris]

You said it.

[Alice]

I know I did.

[Chris]

Well, if that's what you think. And maybe we should move in together, too. Sorry, what?

[Fallon]

You want us to move in together?

[Chris]

Well, perhaps. I mean, I'm not saying this minute so.

[Alice]

No.

[Chris]

But someday down the line.

[Fallon]

Yeah, maybe.

[Chris]

That's all I meant. Just ignore me. You're right. I've had too much to drink.

[Fallon]

No, no, no.

[Alice]

I'm just not sure I'm quite ready for that yet.

[Chris]

Of course. I'm sorry. Look, please, Lottie, forget I even said anything, okay?

[Fallon]

I'm not sure how much longer I can stay awake.

[Chris]

Aha. Yeah, I will if you want to go to bed.

[Fallon]

No, no, but I'd better not have any more wine. I think I'm gonna go make myself a coffee.

[Bert]

I don't get this kind of interrogation when I'm living at your sister's.

[Susan]

I'm not interrogating, dad. I'm just asking if it's a little early.

[Bert]

It's one beer to help my lunch settle.

[Susan]

All right, all right. You do what you want.

[Bert]

I will do. Thank you. Susan, open the can for me. My fingers are too stiff.

[Chris]

Oh, Kitty, I hope you fancy new

[Bert]

potatoes with tea tonight.

[Susan]

What's that, love?

[Bert]

We've got plenty.

[Susan]

Oh, yes. My goodness, look at those.

[Bert]

What do you reckon, Bert? Not bad, eh? Now, that's what I call from farm to fork. From farm to what?

[Susan]

Fork, dad. It's to do with knowing where your food comes from.

[Bert]

Back in my day, we called it having a veg patch.

[Brad]

Are you off now, Susan?

[Susan]

Oh, yeah. I need to get to the shop. You got everything you need, haven't you?

[Bert]

I have now.

[Susan]

All right, I'll see you both later.

[Bert]

Yeah, all right.

[Susan]

Oh, hello, Alice, love. Can't stop, I'm afraid.

[Alice]

Oh, no, me neither. I was just coming say goodbye.

[Bert]

I didn't know she was here. Best hiding my beer. Hide it. She's at Elkie. I don't want to give her any ideas.

[Alice]

Hello, Bert. Is that beer you've got? Looks like they're treating you well, Alice.

[Chris]

Just dropped by to see how Martha got on at the sleepover last night.

[Alice]

Yeah, well, from what she's been telling me, she absolutely loved it. Maddie's her new bff.

[Bert]

Yeah, I know. I was teasing Chris earlier. She'll be pestering him to marry Maddie's mum so they can be sisters.

[Chris]

All right, Dad. I think me and Lottie are gonna get Married anytime soon?

[Bert]

I said I was teasing.

[Chris]

I know.

[Bert]

Martha must think it's her lucky day. Both her parents with new partners she can wrap around her little finger.

[Chris]

What's that supposed to mean? Martha's five. Just because she enjoys staying over at Lottie's.

[Alice]

Chris, calm down.

[Chris]

I'm just saying we shouldn't get our hopes up.

[Alice]

Right.

[Chris]

I should get to the forge. See ya.

[Susan]

Right, that's 1196 altogether, Linda. Right. You're paying by car?

[Linda]

Oh, please. Yes, Susan. Dare I ask how ticket sales for the fate are going?

[Susan]

No. Slow but short. I've been doing my best to encourage people to buy them early. There is quite a bit of negativity, mind.

[Fallon]

Oh, dear.

[Linda]

In what way?

[Susan]

Well, folk have never had to pay before, have they? And they don't understand why they should have to now.

[Jolene]

No, I see.

[Susan]

And I get Alan's trying to raise money for the new church bell, but it really hasn't gone down very well. It's one of the reasons I've started giving concessions. You've done what? Oh, just for pensioners and people with disabilities. Oh, and a couple of customers I know who are on low incomes.

[Alice]

But.

[Linda]

But Susan, Alan was adamant there should be one flat price.

[Susan]

Well, I hate to say it, Linda, especially about our own vicar, but that doesn't seem very Christian to me. Quite a few of them said they wouldn't be able to come if they had to pay full price. And then there are the folk who aren't going to come as a matter of principle.

[Bert]

What?

[Linda]

There are actually people who are planning to boycott the feet.

[Susan]

Well, quite a few. Like I say, I'm doing my best to shift tickets, but at this rate, the whole thing is looking like one giant damp square.

[Bert]

Hello?

[Alice]

Chris, can you hear me?

[Chris]

Hello, Alice. Sorry, I didn't notice you there.

[Alice]

Oh, that's okay. Sorry for interrupting.

[Chris]

No, no, no. Just let me put this back in the forge. I'm making a pair of lantern hooks for Linda's shepherd's hut.

[Alice]

Oh, right.

[Chris]

What are you doing here? Is everything all right?

[Alice]

Oh, everything's fine. You?

[Chris]

Me?

[Alice]

Look, tell me to mind my own business, but you seemed a bit tense earlier.

[Chris]

Did I?

[Alice]

When you were talking about Lottie. Did something happen last night?

[Chris]

No. You had Martha. She had a great time.

[Alice]

But I'm not worried about Martha. I'm here as a friend. Chris.

[Jolene]

Ah.

[Chris]

There's no hiding anything from you, is there?

[Alice]

So what happened?

[Chris]

Oh, I'm such an idiot, Alice. I think I've totally messed things up. We were talking about you and Rex.

[We Feed Raw Advertiser]

Right.

[Alice]

Okay.

[Chris]

How Martha's adjusted to him moving in. I was just musing. I didn't even really mean it seriously. But I suggested to Lottie me and her should move in together too. Should have seen the look on her face, Alice.

[Alice]

So what did she say?

[Chris]

Not much. She mumbled about not being ready for that yet. And of course we're not. We've only been properly dating for a few months, so I don't know what I was thinking.

[Alice]

Well, you. You were probably thinking about me and Rex.

[Kenton]

Right?

[Alice]

Maybe it's not that surprising. You and me didn't exactly hang about.

[Chris]

How do you mean?

[Alice]

A spur of the moment wedding in Vegas.

[Chris]

Yeah, well, it might have been spur of the moment, but it still meant something.

[Alice]

Oh, of course. It was wonderful.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Look, I'm sure you haven't blown it with Lottie. It probably came as just a bit of a shock. She must be serious about you or she wouldn't have suggested having Martha to stay over.

[Chris]

No, I suppose just give her a call.

[Alice]

Tell her you're not trying to pressure her, that you're happy with how things are now. I. I promise you, Chris, she'll be fine.

[Kenton]

Robert, shush.

[Linda]

You do know he understands what you're saying?

[Kenton]

I'm sorry, Monty. Of course. I don't think you mauled David sheep. But you must feel the same, though. Lindy. I thought we would have heard from the police regarding the DNA results by now.

[Linda]

I'm not thinking about it at all. Clearly another Doberman is responsible. I'm far more concerned about the fate. I'd hoped ticket sales were just slow. But if Susan is right and some people are choosing to boycott it altogether. Ling.

[Kenton]

Andy, you've directed enough village pantos to know people always leave buying tickets until the last minute. I have no doubt the freight will be as popular as usual.

[Linda]

But what if it isn't? I'm beginning to fear I've allowed Alan's eagerness to raise money for the church bell to cloud my better judgment. What we could really do with is some sort of must see attraction. Something so enticing people will be compelled to overcome their objections and purchase a ticket.

[Jolene]

But what the.

[Bert]

What?

[Kenton]

What's all that shouting about?

[Brad]

Is that Ed?

[Kenton]

I can hear what's going on.

[Chris]

Hi, dad.

[Bert]

Oh, Christopher. You had a good afternoon?

[Kenton]

Yeah, not bad.

[Bert]

What do you think of my carrots?

[Chris]

Very impressive.

[Bert]

If they may crop. Or anything like these old. Definitely be entering them in the flour and produce show.

[Brad]

Oh, sorry.

[Bert]

You need to get to the sink.

[Chris]

Thank you. I'm parched Where's Martha?

[Bert]

He's in the garden. Can you see?

[Chris]

Oh yeah, she's with Bert. Hang on. What's that he's giving her? No, he can't be. What the hell does he think he's playing at?

[Bert]

Granddad, stop. Don't go blaming me. You're the one who marched out there screaming blue murder.

[Chris]

It's okay, sweetheart. I'm not angry with you.

[Bert]

It ain't my fault she's upse. What's going on?

[Chris]

He was giving Martha his beer.

[Bert]

You what? It was only a sip. She wanted to know what it tasted like. It's all right. I've done you a favor. She thought it was disgusting.

[Susan]

Are you serious?

[Bert]

Okay, okay. Just calm down. Is this how you raised him, Neil? To have a hissy fit over nothing? That's not fair, Bert. He's just concerned about Martha. Course he is. All he does is mollycoddler. Excuse me?

[Harrison]

You heard.

[Bert]

How'd you expect to survive in this world if you wrap her up in cotton wool?

[Chris]

Is that seriously what you think?

[Bert]

Bert, you're really not being helpful. That girl is spoilt.

[Chris]

Rotten spoilt. She spent the first three years of her life with her mum going in and out of rehab. Have you any idea how much Alice would freak out if she knew you'd given Martha beer?

[Bert]

So what if she does? I'll tell you one thing for nothing. You need to stop caring about what that latch thinks. Oh, that's horrible. Take that back. Oh, no. Finally take off those rose tinted spectacles. Start siding with your own family.

[Kenton]

Family?

[Chris]

That's rich coming from you, the way you treat.

[Jolene]

That's enough.

[Chris]

You are just a spiteful, selfish, disgusting old man.

[Bert]

I said enough. Now you go and check on Martha. Make sure she's okay.

[Linda]

Good job, Ed.

[Kenton]

Yes, nicely done. It astounds me you're able to squeeze such an enormous combine through such a narrow entrance.

[Harrison]

Well, I would have got it done a lot quicker if that idiot hadn't had a pop at me.

[Jolene]

Oh, I know. So what exactly happened?

[Kenton]

Don't ask me.

[Harrison]

I was concentrating on turning into the field. Must have been giving it some though, to have birthed two tires when he swerved.

[Linda]

The speed some people drive down these lanes.

[Kenton]

It's ridiculous. Then, like we weren't doing everything properly.

[Harrison]

Dad was driving here with his hazards flashing. Got dispensation from the police.

[Kenton]

It's not your fault, Ed.

[Harrison]

That's a wonder he didn't crash straight into dad.

[Kenton]

Coming at him headlong like that doesn't bear thinking about.

[Linda]

I think you did very well to keep your cool. The way he was shouting at you. Are you all right?

[Harrison]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. He seems a bit more chilled now Brian's here.

[Linda]

Well, even so, there's simply no call for it. You need a few minutes to de stress.

[Harrison]

Yeah, but you'd be surprised. People have a go all the time.

[Bert]

Really?

[Harrison]

Oh, yeah, yeah. When I'm trimming hedges or doing tree surgery. And it's almost always the same kind of person. Rich guys who've moved here for a

[Chris]

slice of country life.

[Kenton]

Well, I hope our four decades in Ambridge mean you're excluding us from that statement.

[Linda]

What?

[Chris]

No, no, no.

[Kenton]

I'm not talking about you.

[Linda]

We know.

[Harrison]

It just gets to me sometimes, the

[Kenton]

way some people treat the countryside, like

[Chris]

it's their own personal playground. Mean.

[Harrison]

Meanwhile, I'm working 15 hours a day, still can't afford a proper house to come home to.

[Kenton]

I know. Monty ain't right, is it, boy?

[Linda]

I'm so sorry, Ed. Try not to get too down.

[Harrison]

I'm all right. Oh, you like that, didn't you?

[Bert]

Yes, that's right. Give Monty a fuss.

[Kenton]

Nothing like a wagging tail and two big soulful eyes to cheer you up, whatever state you're in. You're right, Robert.

[Linda]

Say that again.

[Kenton]

Say what again?

[Linda]

You've just given me a fantastic idea.

[Bert]

If I spoke to my elders like that, I'd have got such a walloping.

[Susan]

I know, Dad, I know.

[Bert]

It's hardly like you didn't say some choice things too, Bert. Of course you'd defend him. That's the problem. He's been raised to think the world owes him something.

[Susan]

Okay, okay. Let's not do this. Why don't you go and sit down? Hey, dad. I'll fetch you a snack. How does a crumpet sound?

[Bert]

Seems all right. And a cup of tea?

[Chris]

Martha's fine.

[Harrison]

She's happily.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Jolene]

Oh, yeah.

[Harrison]

Well, it's all right.

[Bert]

I ain't going to make you share a room with me.

[Susan]

Christopher.

[Kenton]

What?

[Chris]

Has dad told you what happened?

[Susan]

Yes, yes, I've heard.

[Chris]

Well, then you know why I'm getting in touch with ael. I'm going to see if I can move back into my flat.

[Susan]

Move back in?

[Chris]

All the building work is finished. There's just bits left to do.

[Bert]

Now, Christopher, there's no need for that.

[Susan]

No, no, you don't need to leave. Look, I know dad shouldn't have given Martha the bee.

[Chris]

Oh, do you think.

[Susan]

But it didn't mean any harm by it.

[Chris]

I don't care. We still don't know how Alice's drinking has affected her.

[Bert]

No, but the doctors haven't noticed any signs.

[Chris]

Yeah, for the moment, I don't want her anywhere near alcohol.

[Susan]

Alright, love? Okay.

[Chris]

And anyhow, it's not just that. It's the way he treats everyone. Especially you, Mum.

[Kenton]

Me?

[Susan]

Criticize.

[Chris]

Criticizing everything you do. Bossing you around like you're a skivvy.

[Susan]

Oh, that's just the way he is.

[Chris]

And that excuses it?

[Susan]

No, but he's from a different generation.

[Chris]

Oh, so everyone his age treats their family like dirt, do they?

[Susan]

Look, things were different back then. I don't want to go into it. The point is, your granddad still deserves our respect.

[Chris]

So he can say or do whatever appalling thing he likes and we just

[Brad]

have to put up with it.

[Susan]

Priests?

[Chris]

Is that really what you're telling me?

[Susan]

Yes.

[Kenton]

Why?

[Susan]

Because he's my father. And if you don't like it, well, then maybe it would be better if you did move out.

[Fallon]

Sorry, Harrison. I suddenly wasn't sure if I should just let myself in.

[Bert]

Oh, don't be daft, fella.

[Harrison]

Still you roam.

[Chris]

How have you been?

[Harrison]

Sorry, stupid question.

[Fallon]

I've been okay. Linda and Robert have been really kind.

[Harrison]

Oh, good, I'm glad.

[Fallon]

Just left her printing out posters for the pet competition.

[Harrison]

What pet competition?

[Fallon]

It's her new idea to get people along to the fey. Anyone can bring their pet and then there'll be prizes for things like the waggiest tail and pet that looks most like its owner.

[Harrison]

Seriously?

[Fallon]

The theory is that because everyone loves their animals, they won't be able to resist buying a ticket.

[Harrison]

Good old Linda. She's been keeping you busy then? Helping her organize?

[Fallon]

Oh, no. I decided to step down from the committee. I'm just not in the right frame of mind.

[Harrison]

Oh, look, you probably want some time to settle back in. I've moved all my stuff into the spare room.

[Fallon]

Oh, okay.

[Harrison]

Do you need me to carry your bag up?

[Fallon]

No, I can manage.

[Harrison]

All right. Well, in that case, I might take myself off for a walk.

[Fallon]

Oh, honestly, you don't have to.

[Harrison]

No, no, no, it's fine. Let me just grab my keys and then I'll get out your hair.

[Jolene]

Whoa. Is that all?

[Kenton]

I admit I'd have hoped to have sold a few more tickets by now.

[Susan]

I'm.

[Kenton]

I'm trying not to worry, though. Everyone I talk to says they're going to buy tickets.

[Jolene]

Yeah, and they wouldn't lie to a vicar, now, would they?

[Kenton]

Not exactly. Oh, look who's here. Harrison, I'm so sorry.

[Jolene]

Jolene.

[Kenton]

When I heard the news.

[Jolene]

I know, I know. How are you, my darling? Oh, I'm all right, really. You don't look it. I haven't been sure if I should pop over.

[Harrison]

Oh, honestly, Charlene, I'm fine.

[Kenton]

Listen, I need to pop into the shop.

[Bert]

I'll.

[Kenton]

I'll let you two talk.

[Harrison]

Okay.

[Kenton]

Take care now.

[Jolene]

Yeah. Cheers, Alan.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

So how are you?

[Jolene]

Really? Fallon says you haven't spoken since you came back from Leeds.

[Harrison]

Actually, she's just moved back in.

[Jolene]

Lived in Ware. What, you mean to Woodbine?

[Harrison]

Yeah. Linda and Robert couldn't put her up any longer.

[Fallon]

So.

[Jolene]

What, she's over there now?

[Kenton]

Yeah.

[Harrison]

Drop in and see her if you like. I won't be back for a while.

[Jolene]

Do you know about this job? She's accepted at Lower Loxley.

[Chris]

Ah.

[Susan]

Oh, so you do then?

[Jolene]

Well, how long have you known?

[Harrison]

To be honest, we only talked about it properly last week.

[Susan]

Well, it seems to have come completely

[Jolene]

out of the blue and she's refusing to discuss it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Jolene]

Maybe I should drop in on her while we're both not at the pub.

[Harrison]

Well, like I say, I'm just off for a walk.

[Jolene]

Oh, my darling, this is all so horrible. Oh, come here. Look, I just want you to know that me and Cadillac and still think the world of you and you'll always be part of the family. No one's taking sides.

[Harrison]

Thanks, Jo. Right, well, ah, you go on then.

[Fallon]

I mean it though.

[Bert]

I know you do.

[Fallon]

See ya.

[Harrison]

Bye.

[Kenton]

Harrison.

[Harrison]

Alan.

[Kenton]

Which way you heading? I'm about to say stroll home.

[Bert]

So Christopher's back in his flat already? He's already left.

[Susan]

As soon as Hazel said he could move back in, he packed his bags. I know, Neil. I agree. I told him all he had to do was apologize to his grandfather and we can all move on. Susan wouldn't want to live in a half decorated flat. Isaac.

[Bert]

It's not him I'm upset with. It's Bert.

[Susan]

Oh, Neil, could you go and shower, please? You've just come back from the pigs.

[Kenton]

Well, I.

[Bert]

Can I. Bert's in there. He'll be sat on the toilet reading the Echo.

[Susan]

Well, look, could I at least get by? I need to pick up his cup.

[Harrison]

Sorry.

[Bert]

You're angry with him too? I told you what he said to Christopher. Telling him he spoils Martha. Calling Alice a lust.

[Susan]

Yes, I know.

[Bert]

None of this would have happened if he hadn't given her Martha his beer.

[Susan]

Well, Christopher said some extremely hurtful things too.

[Bert]

Well, he only pointed out the truth. Your dad does treat his family appallingly. Look at the way he's got you tidying up after him. Picking up his dirty plates and cups and folding his pyjamas.

[Susan]

Well, he can't do it himself.

[Bert]

Then he could at least show some gratitude. I'm beginning to wish we'd never let him move in.

[Susan]

Oh, Neil, don't be so unkind. Just wait till you need looking after. Oh, no.

[Kenton]

What?

[Susan]

Forgotten. It's past five. He needs his medication.

[Jolene]

Fallon, I'm only here because you won't talk about it at work.

[Fallon]

But there's nothing to talk about. I've told you, I'm going to work at Lower Loxley. I don't know what you want me to say.

[Jolene]

I just want you to take a moment to think about what you're doing. I know you think this needs job is gonna solve things somehow, but it won't. Please carry on working at the ball.

[Susan]

Let me and Kenden take care of you.

[Fallon]

Mum.

[Jolene]

Then you can decide what you really want.

[Fallon]

I know what I want. You keep talking like this has all happened suddenly. Well, it hasn't. Ever since the crash, I feel like I've been at the mercy of events. Whether it's Natasha and Tom taking over the tea room, or being offered a tiny unit at the evening station, or even not knowing I was pregnant. Sweetheart, none of it has been in my control. Well, this is me taking charge of my life again.

[Harrison]

Oh, I'd been putting it off and putting it off. Only last night eventually told me. Folks.

[Kenton]

How did they react?

[Harrison]

Like everyone else. Shocked, surprised, upset. I don't think I'd quite realize the effect it could have on other people.

[Kenton]

Well, it just goes to show how many people care about your relationship.

[Harrison]

No, I know. Makes me feel like such a failure, though. When I married Fallon and when I took my vows. I know it went a church ceremony, but. I don't know.

[Kenton]

It's all right. Finding the right words is hard.

[Harrison]

I just feel like.

[Kenton]

Right what? You've let God down.

[Harrison]

Yeah. Yeah, maybe that's it.

[Kenton]

Well, you haven't. From what you've been telling me, you and Fallon have both tried very hard. You've never betrayed each other. You've never stopped caring. God doesn't expect perfection, Harrison. He just wants us to do the best we can.

[Harrison]

But I don't feel like I have. I really thought me and Fallon would be together. Until death do us part. I imagine looking into her eyes when we were both old and frail.

[Kenton]

Look, have you considered counselling?

[Bert]

No.

[Kenton]

But if that's how you still feel.

[Harrison]

Honestly, Alan, I get why? You're saying it. But it's over.

[Kenton]

Well, then you need to stop blaming yourself. You made a sincere commitment. But sometimes relationships change in ways that neither of you could have foreseen. The important thing now is that you and Fallon are kind to each other.

[Harrison]

Aye, you're right.

[Kenton]

Now look, we can't keep standing outside the vicarage. Usha's working late and I got the place to myself. Wanna come inside?

[Bert]

Susan, what are you doing?

[Susan]

Putting the laundry on. I've only just finished getting dad to bed.

[Bert]

Well, the laundry can wait.

[Kenton]

Come and put your feet up.

[Susan]

Oh, Neil, I can't.

[Kenton]

Just for five minutes, please.

[Susan]

Oh, all right. Just for five minutes, mind.

[Bert]

Yeah. Let me move the remote. I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. I didn't mean to upset you.

[Susan]

Just think, after all the years Tracy's had to look after him.

[Chris]

Yeah, I know.

[Susan]

Having dad here for a little while isn't that much to ask.

[Fallon]

You're right.

[Bert]

You're right. I just don't understand why you always defend him.

[Susan]

What am I supposed to do? He's my dad. I've only got one of him. And I know how he was brought up. Compared to his dad, he's an angel.

[Bert]

You've always said your granddad was a nasty piece of work.

[Susan]

That's putting it mildly. Dad never talks about it, but Mum used to tell me stories from when they were kids. How they'd sneak past my grandparents cottage and hear him yelling. How the whole village knew he was beating my gran. And you can bet my dad wasn't spared either. Growing up like that. It's no wonder he thinks Martha's spoiled.

[Kenton]

So why can't he be pleased that

[Bert]

she's got a dad who loves her?

[Susan]

It doesn't work like that though, does it? The lesson dad learned was that you need to be hard to survive. You know what though? He never once raised a finger to any of us. Not even Clive.

[Kenton]

And he could probably done with a

[Bert]

clip round the earl.

[Kenton]

Neil, I'm sorry.

[Susan]

You know what I mean. Dad could have easily done to us what his dad did to him.

[We Feed Raw Advertiser]

But he never did.

[Susan]

It's how I knew he loved us, Susan. And it's why he deserves my care, as cantankerous as he is.

[Bert]

Maybe you should explain that to Christopher.

[Susan]

Oh, Christopher. No, help him understand. I don't want to make excuses for dad either. Christopher was right to be angry about Martha. It shows he's a good father. But so's dad in his own way.

[Harrison]

Oh, oh, oh, Fallon. I'm so sorry, Mr. Harrison.

[Fallon]

When did you get in?

[Harrison]

About five minutes ago. I did shout up to say I

[Fallon]

was all, oh, I didn't hear. I've been in the bath. Did you have a nice time? Time at Allen's. Oh, thanks for letting me know where you were, by the way.

[Harrison]

Oh, no problem. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, it were good. Turns out one of the places I've been working isn't far from where he grew up.

[Fallon]

Oh.

[Harrison]

Did you talk to your mum?

[Alice]

I did.

[Fallon]

She reckons I'm having a midlife crisis. What she said, though, not in so many words, but. And to be honest, from the outside, it probably does look like I'm having some sort of meltdown. She just doesn't get it, though. Like, the job at Lower Loxley has so many exciting possibilities.

[Harrison]

Well, if it's any consolation, I think it's a brilliant opportunity.

[Fallon]

Do you?

[Harrison]

Absolutely. And the more I think about it, you'll be in your element, organising events, doing arts and crafts, making music. You have to go for it.

[Fallon]

Thank you, Harrison. That means a lot.

[Harrison]

I've also been thinking, maybe I should look for somewhere to rent.

[Fallon]

What? No.

[Harrison]

Oh, don't worry. I'd still pay my share of the mortgage.

[Fallon]

Oh, how would you afford it, though? I can't ask you to do that.

[Harrison]

It'll be easier for me than it is for you. Your job's not full time, is it?

[Fallon]

Well, not yet. But honestly, Harrison, you don't need to move out. I know we're going to have to deal with all of this stuff eventually, but we don't have to do it immediately. Let's just take it one day at a time.

[Harrison]

Okay. As long as you're sure. It's going to be tough. Well, guess we can help each other get through it together.

[Fallon]

Guess so.

[Harrison]

Right. Well, I was just on my way to my room.

[Fallon]

Oh, are you hitting the sack?

[Harrison]

Yeah, I think so. It's been a long week.

[Fallon]

I'm going to bed too.

[Harrison]

Right. Well, I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well.

[Fallon]

Yes, you too. Good night, Harrison.

[Harrison]

Good night,

[Fallon]

Sam.

[Susan]

Hello.

[Kenton]

I'm Greg Jenner. I'm the host of youf're Dead to Me, the comedy podcast that takes history seriously. And we are back for a 12th series.

[Chris]

Everyone in that film is wearing their own pants.

[Kenton]

We'll be joined by comedians like Kyle Smith, Bino and Desiree Burch.

[Fallon]

Can't see how this would go wrong.

[Kenton]

We'll meet many medieval saints, motivational speaker,

[Fallon]

saint with like a sort of Madonna head mic on.

[Kenton]

We're doing a history of underwear. Plus there's loads more. You're dead to me. Listen on BBC Sounds

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