Harrison Burns (0:01)

BBC Sounds Music Radio podcasts. You're listening to the archers omnibus from BBC Radio 4. Hey, Harrison, it's me. Oh, in here, love. In the kitchen. It's horrendous out there. Sorry I'm so late. I felt like the whole of Borsets chose to come to us for Sunday lunch today, then why wouldn't it? With my talented wife as chef. Aw, something smells good. Well, that'll be your winter veg soup. I found it in the freezer. Oh, I forgot about that. That's one of my tea room experiments. Well, there's some left on the stove if you wanted, but I couldn't wait some. I never found the time to stop for lunch. Oh, busy? Yeah, you know, usual madness. In the end, I just had to leave stuff unfinished for tomorrow. I've got Linda's cricket meeting starting in. Oh, gosh, 10 minutes. I better get a shuffle on. I forgot about that. She's invited someone from Rosarin in the Vale to go over what we can expect in the new division. But you're unlikely to even be there this season. I know, but I promised Linda a smooth transition. Bottom line is, I feel guilty for letting the team down. Least I can do is steer the ship until Linda decides who they'll have as the new captain. I'll try and get away as soon as I can. Okay. You know, I can't remember the last time we spent a whole day together. A whole day? I'd take five minutes. Hey, how about we actually go on that holiday we're always talking of? Go somewhere hot and stick it on the credit card? You mean take time off work? I mean, we could. People do. Imagine having no plans, nothing to do except walk and eat. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sleeping late? Oh, it sounds like a dream. It would give us something to look forward to. Before I go away, I wonder where this Lawrence chap has got to. We did say seven. He's the chair of Rosarin Cricket Club. That's right. Division runners up. I thought he could give us the inside track on what to expect. Oh, it's horrible out there. Evening, Linda. Evening, Tom. All right, Harrison? Linda's doing an excellent job of making me desperate to get back to the crease. Oh, I have to say, I'm gutted to be missing this season of all seasons. No Lawrence yet? Not yet. I thought while we're waiting for him, we could brainstorm ideas for a captain to replace you. Harrison, I'm sorry to land you in it, especially with such an important season ahead. These things can't be helped. I just hope we can find someone with the right leadership skills. Would Tracy step up as vice captain? She'd be the obvious choice. I did ask her how she'd feel about it, but she's quite happy to remain as second in command. Chris? Possibly, but I'm not sure he's in a position to take on such a responsibility. It's a big time commitment. I heard from Freddy that Vince was keen. Hmm. Well, I mean, apparently he has the crickety pedigree, but I don't think he's right for us, not for captain. Wouldn't he have to live locally to play for Umbridge anyway? Well, that's certainly a clause I could bring into play if needs be. Good evening. Linda Snell, is it? Lawrence, a pleasure to meet you. This is Harrison Burns, our outgoing captain. All right, me. How do you do? How do? And Tom Archer, one of our best batsmen. Tom, I look forward to seeing you in action. Well, I hope I live up to Linda's hype. Oh, please, sit down, sit down. Join us. Before we start on all things cricket, I just want to say what a wonderful night I had at your pantomime. You saw Cinderella? I did indeed. It was the perfect winter pick me up. Charming and funny. Much more entertaining than many of the star studded pantos you'd see in the big theaters. There's not much our Linda can't do. Oh, now, it was a team effort. I couldn't have done it without Lillian and Joy and Leonard and, well, all the cast and crew. I have to admit, Linda, that I was feeling a little nervous about meeting you tonight. Why ever would you be nervous, Linda Snell, MBE? I've done my research, you see. Well, we were expecting you to curtsy when you arrived. Oh, yeah. Do you not have an etiquette school in Rosarine? In the Verge? I think the pedigree of grassroots chairs is something I should mention in Wickerton Stumps. You write for Wicket and Stumps? Oh, it's a great magazine that. I got the December issue of my Christmas stocking. Well, I don't write for it, but it has a monthly grassroots feature. Nice. The March edition is going to be about Borsetshire, with the focus on Rosarine and the Vale and our rise to near victory. I see. Fascinating. I. I wasn't aware that the national cricketing magazines would be interested in village teams. Not all of them are, but Wickerton Stumps has a writer who appreciates the contribution grassroots cricket makes to our national summer sport. That's great to hear. That we all know. You can have a thrilling game at any level if you focus on the tussle between the teams, the flashpoints and the passion. Whereas in the Borsitra Echo, we rarely get more than a brief mention of the score. If that. Oh, I'm sorry. It's my wife. Hello, love. Everything all right? I probably could have waited until you got home, but it's such a bargain. I don't want to miss it. An holiday. Yeah. Kefalonia, is that somewhere we're thinking of before? Yep. Yep. I mean. I mean, it won't be boiling, but that's not really what we're after, is it? It's. It says here that temperatures are around 22 degrees, which is perfect for walking and sitting on cafe terraces. Yeah, I mean, it sounds great. I'm just worried that someone else will snap it up. Well, let's have a look as soon as I get home. Okay? I'm sorry for calling. I just started to imagine us there. You know, we could really do this. It's a hotel room with a balcony, Harrison. No cleaning, no washing up, no cooking, no explaining to motorists that it's not okay to watch the match while driving. I'm actually having a really lovely evening. Yeah, I'm in my pajamas, in bed, gazing at photos of beaches and forests and food. Oh, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing sitting in the bull with a bunch of cricketers out of season. Well, it sounds like it's not only the cricket that's in a different league, but the teas too. Some villagers have a planning committee for the catering alone and bring in professional caterers. I think we'll be all right. Hambridge always puts on a very decent tea. Pretty much everything is homemade. Really? Even the lemonade? Well, maybe, maybe not. It's not required. But it will be noted, of course. But my wife owns a very high end juice company, Summer Orchard. You might have heard of it. I'm sure she can contribute a few bottles. Lawrence, I can assure you we won't disappoint. Well, I know for a fact the other teams in the division are very keen to welcome you. Oh, sorry about that. What have I missed? Lawrence has been telling us all about the teas and I'm confident Ambridge will fit in perfectly. How was Fallon? Oh, yeah, fine. Yeah. Excellent. So, if it's all right with you, Lawrence, let's move on to what's expected of our kit. Ah, yes, here we go. Page 16 of your division handbook. Flannels. You know, actually I'm really sorry, but I think I better get home to Fallon. Oh, yeah, well, you know, when I said she were fine, I meant fine in general, sort of. But right now she's in bed feeling under the weather. Oh, poor Fallon. Yes, poor Fallon. Hopefully a good night's sleep is all she needs. Aye, hopefully. Well, it was. It was lovely to meet you, Lawrence. And sorry I won't be here to play this season. Well, I hope this will be the first of many happy seasons for Ambridge in our division. And perhaps you'll get a chance to make a return. I'd like that. See ya, mate. Back to the flannels. I've been sorting out some photographs for the wicket and stumps feature and there is nothing like seeing cricket whites against the green of a well kept pitch. Oh, yes. I just hope we're blessed with plenty of those gentle sunny afternoons. It feels. It feels like the weather is more and more unpredictable. Well, tell me about it. Tom's a farmer. If this rain keeps up, we're going to have another hard year ahead of us. Fascinating. Now, Linda, you are. Ask me anything about the Kit 2 Hot Po. You found the clothes? I did. There you go. Thank you. It smells great. Now I'm in Christmas mode. 10 months too early. Oh, maybe I should have made us Tequila Sunset. Oh, no. Right, well, come on, jump in with me. Have a look at the holidays I favorited. I thought your art was set on the the balcony in Kefalonia. Yeah, no, it was, but then I found some even better deals. And I also found a gorgeous holiday in Northumberland. Awesome. Oh, no winter sun then? No, but we'd be staying in a lighthouse with a hot tub overlooking the sea. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm well up for that. Oh, it's Norris should get it. Yeah, of course. I hope she's not miffed about the work I left for tomorrow. Oh dear. Hello. Evening, Mom. What can I do for you? Well, I'd better be off. I've two lurchers at home who'll be wondering what's happened to their evening meal. Oh, my Monty would be the same. I hope it's been helpful to meet up. I realize we're some way off the start of the season, but I always like to be well prepared. Oh, me too. Though I was bowed quite the googly with this year's pantomime. I heard that the whole thing was done in a week. Utterly remarkable. Oh, thank you. I find that the creative process of the director is much like the role of chairperson. Really? It's an intellectual challenge. Whether it's crafting a performance or solving the puzzle of the perfect team. Exactly. Linda, I feel like I've known you for years. A real kindred spirit. Well, then perhaps you wouldn't object to meeting up for a coffee and continuing our conversation. I'm particularly interested in the way you're putting Rosarine in the Vale on the national map. It's important that stories of our village cricket are given the attention they deserve. The shocking wins and the heroic losses, the triumphs and tragedies. How else are we going to encourage a new generation to take up the bat? Which is why a feature in Wicket and Stumps is such a win for us. Yes. Tell me more. I'd love to. Linda. I could talk all night, but the Lurchers. I really must head off. Of course. But I'd like to take you up on that coffee sometime. Continue this conversation where we left off. Well, shall we get something in the diary? Harrison. Oh, love. Oh, you're not being called into work now, are you? No, not now. Well, that's a relief. I was convinced your work was gonna get in the way of our evening after all. Don't speak too soon. Mr. Convent's been moved forward. How far forward? 14th of March. No, February 14th of February. I'm leaving next Friday. Valentine's Day. Yeah. There we were, about to book a holiday when his boss rings and drops the bombshell. Next Friday. And do you have to agree to it? I mean, can you insist you stick to the original plan? I got the impression that wasn't an option, but I'm going into meter now. Sounds like she was pretty much telling Harrison to like it or lump it. Well, not quite in those words. She apologized for ringing on a Sunday night, but she wanted me to have the chance to talk it over with Alan before giving him the answer today. And have you talked it over? Yeah. Yeah. And? Well, nothing's changed. But the date. Yeah, we've already decided it's something he should do. So now we just have to get used to it happening sooner rather than later. With only the one weekend left, and I'm doing Saturday night and Sunday lunches here. Oh, I'm so sorry. Maybe we could manage without you, Fallon. I could get someone from the agency in. Oh, Mum, that is really nice of you, but Harrison's on the road to work next weekend anyway. Oh, what a shame. It is what it is, and. And we'll be fine, won't we? Oh, of course we will. Right. Better get my meat pies in and see you at home. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I'll try to get off on time tonight. I think that's the least Norris can do, huh? A break from after hours Admin. Bye. Yeah, see you. Love to up. Yeah. Is she really all right? I don't know. I was tempted to just sack it off, tell Norris there was no way I was leaving my beautiful wife. But then, I don't know, we decided this was what we needed. And what difference does this make, really? Saying goodbye was going to be hard whenever it happened. Yeah, it's not like you won't see each other at all. Fallon will visit, you'll be able to book time off, come back here. You know, my advice, for what it's worth, is make the most of your time left. Except at least one of us is working every day. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I looked, there were more than eight hours in a day. I love the way the lights change color in here. It's like a really chilled out steam disco. Just don't expect me to get up and dance. Imagine if we actually had the money to get a Great Gables membership. We could literally be here every day. Oliver said the plan is to hand out free passes to villagers every six months or so. What? So us peasants know what we're missing? I was talking to Jolene last night about decorations for the ball for Valentine's. Cupid themed. Classy. I'm getting the feeling you're not feeling very loved up. No special plans this year? Why would I buy into a fake festival that forces people to spend money they don't have on cheap tat? Fair enough. But you like Halloween. Yeah, that's different. Suppose Halloween ain't got the flip side of heartbreak. Yeah, exactly. I hope Brad'll be all right. I never know if he's properly over me or. Pretty sure he is. Haven't you seen the way he is when he's with Zaynab? You think he fancies her? Absolutely. He does. Why else would he be coming to play badminton later? He was all, I don't have time. And then as soon as I told him Zaynab was coming, he went bright red and changed his mind. He didn't get his heart broken. I need to make him see that this is the perfect excuse to ask her out. I'm not sure that's a good idea. Oh, it's a brilliant idea. I'll look up what's on at the cinema next Friday and get him to text her. Nice and casual. I bet there's some cheesy rom com one in Borchester. I thought you said Valentine's Day was a fake festival. Yeah, well, not if I get to actually play Cupid. Not really, Chelsea. I wouldn't get involved. Leave him to work things out at his own pace. Are you kidding? That boy won't do anything if he's not pushed. Oh, that was a good lunch service for a Monday, Fallon. Yeah, we got loads of compliments on your pastry. Can't really take the credit for that. I'm still working my way through what dad prepared before he left. Yeah, I was always a bit envious of his pie pastry. Yours is amazing as well. Hey, why don't you get off home, my darling, huh? If all you're doing is tidying up. I can do that. It's quiet in the bar now. Yeah, thanks, but I'm better off keeping busy. And Harrison won't be home for a good few hours yet. Time's gonna race by. Next Friday's gonna be here before I know it and he'll be gone. Yeah, but not forever. No. I mean, all right, you're not going to be in the same room. Not physically, but in so many ways that matter. You'll still be together. I suppose. Yeah. And the days you have left, you can either spend them moping about or you could decide to make them count. I haven't played badminton since year 11 at school. Me neither. But it's free and it fits in with my healthy girl day, so I'm not complaining. I'm guessing they're supplying all the rackets and thing. More bobs? The shuttlecocks. Yeah, I hope so. I saw Ben in the shop earlier and I think I persuaded him to come too. Oh, great. And Brad said he'll meet us at the village hall. Is Brad still coming? Yeah. We can play doubles, show the boys what we're made of. Chels. What? I wasn't sure whether to tell you, but I got this text from Brad earlier. Oh, yeah? What did it say? He wanted to know if I'd go and see a film with him. Perfect. You both love films. I said no. What? Why? Because it was on Valentine's Day and it was clearly a date. Yeah, what's the problem? You two both obviously like each other, but that doesn't mean I want to go on a date with him. Well, how do you know if you've never tried? Chelsea, you made it. Mondays at the surgery are insane, but your mum is a machine. I'm sure she'd love to hear that. You know what I mean? Appointments every 15 minutes, non stop. She's amazing. She can be. She can also be like a broken record. Zenab, when are you going to do something worthwhile? And when are you going to accept that you will only make me and your father proud by becoming Britain's top brain surgeon? I bet she's proud of you. Really? You know, underneath that is a lie. Ben Archer. I think it's great what you do. You're like a Thai food superhero speeding down country lanes to feed the hungry. Okay, I might give Brad a call, see where he's got to. Wow, that guy just walked in. Really has gone to town with the sports kit. Yeah, that's Derek Fletcher. Matching tracksuit, trainers and sweatband. Stunning. Brad, pick up. Is everything okay, Chelsea? Yeah. I'll meet you inside. We can wait for you. No, don't bother. Chelsea, are you all right? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be here? Hey, I'm in the bath. Wait until you hear what I've got planned for us. You can come in. Okay. Oh boy, you look gorgeous. You like a. You're like a bubbly Venus. Well, that's good to hear, since I spent most of the week looking like a drowned rat. That's impossible. So tell me, what have you got planned for us? We are going to Botticelli's restaurant. No way. Yes way. Three courses, cocktails, coffee, it all works. But you'll need to get a wriggle on because the only table they had free was at 7:30. No. Well, what's wrong with that? I've booked us a table at Botticelli's for 8:30 tonight. Yeah, well that's mad though. Talk about great minds, eh? So if we cancel your booking and keep mine, we'll have loads of time to get ready. And you can languish a bit longer in those bubbles. And I can iron my very best shirt. The one that you look super hot in. The very same. Yep. Bye, Derek. See ya. Thanks for a great game. Yes. See ya. Well, that was a bit of a weird foursome. Yep. Though Derek Fletcher was a surprisingly agile partner. Did you see that shot he dived for? Practically took me out. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he shouted Hauser. He did. So enthusiastic and like someone I could mention, I wasn't in the mood. And that's before I was lumbered with Derek Fletcher. It's a shame Brad couldn't make it. Yeah, well, it's not really surprising in the circumstances. What circumstances? You know, work and college. Busy lad. Yeah, and he's running that Mindful Coloring workshop on Friday. Don't forget. I wish I'd seen how Rochelle got him to agree to that. We're at the workshops this Friday. That's what it says on the events barn calendar. Friday the 7th. Rochelle's well being event. Didn't realise it was this week. Does it say what time it starts? 6, I think. After the Hasset Hills lot have left. Mum told me to open up and stick the heating on. Are you still doing a movement class, Chelsea? Yeah, as far as I know. Right. Do either of you need a lift? Yeah, that would be great. Looks like it's gonna chuck it down again any minute. Chels. Can I drop you on the way? Nah, I'm alright, thanks. So, all right, see you later. Bye. Okay, bye then. Tracy, are you okay? Oh, yeah, fine. I'm making use of the steam from the glass washer. Okay. It's giving my skin a real healthy glow. The risk of scalding yourself. Basically, you're free. Facial. Oh, right. I'm reliving McGray Gables experience. See, me and Chelsea went for our freebie spas this morning. Oh, that'd be a nice thing for Fallon and Harrison to do together this week. Yeah. Reminder. I gather he's off up north next Friday. Both a bit down in the dumps about it. Oh, they'll be okay though, won't they? Sure they will be. Hiya. Moment. Jolene. Hello, my darling. How was the badminton? Not good. Oh, no? Why not? Derek Fletcher was my partner. Say no more. Hard luck. Yeah, no. Well, I'd love to know more, but I better get serving. Evening, my darling. Now, what can I get you? So, what happened? Nothing, really. Just embarrassing. And then I go home to Brad and Granddad. Right. Pair of grumps. So, you've come in here for your old mum to cheer you up. You want a drink? Not really, Mom. Brad asked Zaynab to go to the cinema with him and she said no. Chelsea, I thought we agreed you'd keep out of it. Yeah, but I was sure she'd say yeah. So you made Brad ask her out? Because I was worried he'd be stuck in the Friend Zone forever. But now I've made everything so awkward, Zainab's not even bothered. She's broken my brother's heart. Oh, she was literally just flirting with Ben, of all people, right in front of my eyes. So, have you already seen the dentist? Goodness, no. I'm just still at the waiting room filling in forms. What about you? How's your quest to hijack this feature In Wicked and stumps going? Oh, so far. I've just been preparing the ground. When Lawrence gets back with the coffees, I'm going to steer the conversation round to the magazine. I have a few angles I might approach it from. I have complete faith in you. I'm sure you'll make a compelling case for including Ambridge in the article. Oh, thank you. I hope the dentist is gentle with you. I doubt she will be. Well, text me when you finish. I'll walk round and collect you. Right home. And good luck, Lindy. Yes, you too. Here we go. Two flat whites. Thank you, Lawrence. I thought of another Cricket in Literature question for you while I was waiting for the coffees. Oh, yes. Where would you find the Butley Flower show match? Ah, I know that one. Memoirs of a Fox Hunting Man. Very good secret. Sassoon's Discovery. Description of cricket on the green is just perfect. I often thought of those passages during last year's games. I must say, I'm looking forward to our teams playing each other. I'm already beginning to feel the stirrings of a friendly rivalry between Rosran and Ambridge. And since I won our Cricket in Literature game, I would say that already places Rosran in the position of underdog. Literature won't help your team at the wicket. True, but a good story might raise your wicket and stumps feature to something more than a workaday account of a grassroots team. What are you thinking of? Well, if there was a way we could evoke the true spirit of village cricket, what brings players and spectators out onto the village greens of Borsetshire every Sunday? The desire to win. To be part of a team that digs in and gets the result. The hunger for those startling, memorable moments that. The catch the six. Exactly. It's competition, conflict, rivalry. And don't you think you will rather lose all that if the focus is on one team only? I see what you mean. So, to involve another team in the article, that would allow for a story to be told. Rosran in the Vale as worthy runners up. And then, for example, an underdog with everything to play for. I don't know if you're in a hurry to get off, Linda, but those cakes on the counter look delicious. I couldn't tempt you to share a chocolate brownie, could I? Yes, why not? Good. Oh. All right, Alice? Oh, hi, Tracy. How's Bert? Oh, right, thanks. Though he's still got me running around after him. No Martha today? Well, actually, I've been off work all day with her. She had a Headache first thing, but then did a miraculous bounce back as soon as I'd rung nursery to say she would be in that old chestnut. What? Even three year olds need a duvet day every now and then. Well, that's what I thought. She's been way too lively for that. She's at the playground with Pip and Rosie and I've been dispatched to buy snacks. The nice biscuits like Daddy gets mean. I worked out she meant custard creams, but Joy says they're all sold out. Guilty. I snaffled the last packet for Brad. Is there any chance you swap? No, no, sorry, I. I can't ask you that, can I? Oh, no, it's fine. What you got there? Chocolate chip cookies. Double chocolate chip. Deal. I doubt my lot will care what biscuits I bring home as long as they have something sweet to dip into their tea. Oh, thank you. I owe you. Anything for my little great niece. Though. There is something you could do for me. Oh, yeah? What is it? Join my quiz team at the ball tonight. Chelsea and Neil have both come up with rubbish excuses to drop out. But I thought it'd been cancelled anyway. No, it's just that Jim's at a cello concert in Felbisham Cathedral, Kenton, stepping in as quiz master. Oh, okay. Maybe I could ask Chris to have Martha. Ah, sorry, Chris. My only remaining team member. What about asking Susan to babysit for a couple of hours? It might be nice to do something with Chris, you know, as adults. Yeah, yeah. Actually hang out together, rather than just handing Martha back and forth and chatting about whether we've conquered the last invasion of Head Lies. And have you? Yes, Tracy, we have. Oh, good. You can be on the team, then. So, you were saying it would be great to have another team from the division as part of the feature. Was I? Yes. You agreed. It's hard to write about competitive spirit if all the focus is on one team. Did I tell you that they're sending a photographer out to do a shoot? No, you didn't. Such a privilege to be able to showcase the beauty of our delightful villages. And such a respected magazine. A legacy to be proud of as a cricket chair. Oh, I couldn't agree more. I must chase up the journalist. She said she'd be in touch early this week to firm up the details. Oh, well, before you speak to her, I. I have a proposal for you. It's a little cheeky, but I. I think it might benefit us both. Oh, goodness, Robert. Sorry to interrupt your room. Well, I. I thought you were going to text when you'd finished. Are you all right? You look terrible. Well, I. I did text multiple times. I. I tried ringing and in the end I thought it best just walk down to meet you. Oh. Oh, Robert, I'm so sorry. I had my phone on silence. I feel like someone just stuffed my cheeks with cotton will punch me in the jaw and frozen my mouth. Oh, you need to sit down. I'll get another chair. Oh, this is Lawrence, chair of Rosarine in the Vale cricket team. And. And this is Robert. Good to meet you. Can I get you a coffee? Nil by mouth, I'm afraid, Robert. Of course. What I'd really like to do is just go home. Yes, yes. Oh, poor old you. You go. I'll settle up. Well, thank you, but I. I insist that we meet again so I can repay the favor. I hope you feel better soon, old chap. Thank you. Yes, I'll. I'll meet you outside. Lindy. Oh, right. Oh, Linda. Yes? I'm intrigued by your proposal. Call me and we'll set another date. So I needed to check the piglet's foot, but Mama Sow wasn't having it. She was honestly looking at me like, you grab my baby and I'll kill you. Hi. Oh, hi, Auntie Tracy. I persuaded Hannah to join our team. I hope that's okay. Chris seems to have more faith in my general knowledge than I do. I asked Alice to come along too. Susan's babysitting. That's nice. Oh, great. The more the merrier. It'd be nice to see Alice for more than a two second swap over or dropping round one of Martha's teddies. That's pretty much what she said about you. Anyway, the pig story. Oh, get enough of pigs at home. So, taking my life in my hands, I managed to scoop up the piglet and leap onto one of the large bales of hay within. But the little fellow was squealing and Mama started circling and then headbutted the bale and I went flying into a fresh pile of manure. Were you okay? Amazingly, I was completely fine. The piglet ran back to his mother, who I swear was laughing at me. It's like you're in a Tom and Jerry cartoon, Hannah. Well, we should call our team. Pig Woman might fly in your honor. All right, ladies and gents, welcome to the bowl on this stormy night. I'm your quest master, Kenton Archer. Pens at the ready, folks. We'll be starting in two minutes. Oh, Alice, over here. Just in time. Oh, hi, Chris. Tracy. Hi. Oh, hi, Hannah. I didn't realize there'd be four of us. I think we'll be the dream team. How's Martha? Yeah, she's all good. I left her doing a jigsaw with your mum. Can I get anyone a drink? I'm fine, thanks, Alice. But don't worry about us, we're already in a round. So to catch you up, we're called Hannah and the Pigmen. We're not. We're called Pig Woman, Mike Fly. Yeah, there's Right. Cool name. Where did that come from? Oh, believe me, you don't want to know. Right, we've got seven teams in tonight, so let's get cracking. The best team win. Right, come on. Good feeling about this. Here goes. Round one. Challenges to democracy. Which leader known as the last King of Scotland overthrew the president of Uganda in a military coup in January 1971? Go easy on us. I know. Who does he think he is? Jim Lloyd? Now, this will hopefully cheer you up. Sweet potato soup. Oh, thank you. Not too hot. Now. I don't want you to see me eating it. I'm starving. But I still can't feel my face. Afraid I'll dribble? Oh, Rob. But you've nursed me through much worse than the odd dribble of sweet potato soup. So, Zoo never said. How did it go with Lawrence? Oh, very well. We have very much the same passion for village cricket. I'm sure he'll jump at the chance to include Ambridge in the feature. But you haven't asked him yet? I was just about to lay out my thoughts when you turned up. Sorry you had to rush off. Oh, no, no, don't be silly. You were feeling rotten. But still. Shame not to seal the deal. It's not a problem at all, Robert. I've arranged to meet him at Grey Gables Coffee Lounge on Thursday morning. You're welcome to come along. Mmm. I might just do that. Won't it be great to get our team some national coverage? And Wicked Stumps is an excellent publication. It's been going for decades. Probably more than half a century. I know. Can you imagine what our B and B guests will think when they see it opened on the coffee table to photos of Ambridge? I'm pretty sure if we get this one right, we'll have beaten the last straw. So, with everything to play for, the very final question of the Kenton archer bull quiz. Fourth day of February in the year of our Lord 2020. Oh, get on with it. No heckling. Horrible. Okay, for three points, name the three books in the original trilogy by Suzanne Collins in the order they were written. The Hunger Games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then there's. Is it Mocking J? It's definitely Hunger Games first look. Then it's Catching Fire. Yeah. Mockingjay last. Yeah, I think you're wrong. We're definitely right. Catching Fire is the one set in the capital, and that's the last in the trilogy. On your head be it, Carter. And that's it, folks. Pens down and bring your answer sheets to me, please. I'll take it. All right, you're. While the scores are being counted, do take the opportunity to refill your glasses and of course, stock up on our salty snacks. Oh, Chris, you were wrong. I just looked it up. What do you know? Hey, we went with your answer answers loads of times. Yeah, because they were right. Okay, I admit it. I should have listened to you. Women. Always. Hey, Alice, Did Chris tell you I booked a lesson at the stables? No. That's exciting. Will it be with you? More likely with Joanne. I've always wanted to get good at horse riding. I went pony trekking as a kid on holidays in the New Forest, but I've never got around to having actual lessons. Oh, it's the best. And Joanne's such a great teacher. I'll have a think about which horse to put you on, but we've got loads of options. Great. Looking forward to it. Right. Riley, do you want to give us a hand with some more drinks? Yep. Okay. Another orange juice? Salad? No, I'm fine, thanks. I wouldn't say no to another showers. Thanks, Chris. Right you are. You're right, Alice. Yeah, yeah, it's been fun. Are those two? Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. But they seem to. Yeah. I presume Chris have said if it was anything, you know, serious. Yeah, because of Martha. But there might be, you know. Yeah, I mean, it would be great if they did get together. She's nice. We divorced. Chris deserves to move on. That's very sensible of you. Very mature. Thanks. It's hard though, isn't it? Yeah, it's really hard. Hi, Tracy. Would you let people know that we're out of cottage pies? Yeah, no worries. Oh, hang on. Fallon, I've got the Valentine flyers here. Any chance you could take a bundle to deliver? Oh, sure. Yeah. Do you think I've made it clear enough that there are two sittings? Yeah, early bird with heart shaped pie and peas at 5. And posh fillet steak with champagne pain at 7:30. Well, just heart shaped pies. I'm afraid the peas are going to be pea Shaped. Me and Jazz are booked in for the pie sitting. No champers for the early birds. Harrison and I usually do something special for Valentine's Day when we can try to embrace the cheesiness. He's actually leaving that morning. Oh. Not great timing. Yeah, I know that. We did have a really romantic night at Botticelli's on Monday. Oh, yeah. Jolene told me you both booked it as a surprise for each other. I know. It was hilarious. It's our favorite restaurant. See? And Harrison made me laugh so much at one point that the waiter had to come over to check I was okay. You're gonna miss him, aren't you? Yes. Can't believe that when he first told me about the job, I was so practical and sensible about it. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, well, that was the idea. But when I think about next Friday night, the reality of him not being there when I get home from work, I don't feel sensible at all. My stomach's in knots. I just hope I'm so exhausted that I fall asleep on the sofa and don't have to face the big Harrison shaped gap in our double bed. There you go. Zainab iced coffee with cream. Looks great, Chels. Thanks for bringing it over. And for all the cream. No worries. It's literally my job. Hey, Chelsea. Hang on a minute. What is it? I just wanted to check that Brad's okay. Yeah, he's fine. That's good. He isn't sat at home crying his eyes out, if that's what you're asking. But, yeah, he does feel a bit stupid for getting it so wrong. I never said at any point that I fancied him. I mean, I do like him, just not like that. He could have fooled me. I had no idea that he was planning to ask me out. Well, he asked you out because he thought you fancied him. What gave him that idea? Well, maybe the fact that you were constantly flirting with him. Though I realized you've already turned your attention to someone else. Meaning? Well, you were all over Ben at badminton on Monday. I was not. Oh, you so were. And then you went off with him afterwards. I was with him for two minutes in the car so I didn't have to walk home in the dark. You spent the whole time laughing at his jokes and praising his shots. What are you talking about? I probably praise Derek Fletcher more than Ben. Does that mean I have to jump into bed with him, too? Of course not. But you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I think I do. And I thought. I thought you were better than that. I thought you were a feminist. I am. But you know what, Chelsea? This might be a radical idea for you, but not everyone sleeps with the first person who's vaguely nice to them. I wasn't even talking about sleeping with anyone. All I'm saying is that I think you're judging me from the way that you see the world. I don't need to listen to this. Yeah, it's chucking it down out there. Oh, yeah, I know. The garden's like a pond. Blimey. How was work? Oh, it's okay. Yeah? You? Oh, well, less. Less crazy than usual would be. Criminals don't like the rain, either. Hey, look. What's. What's this? Valentine's Day at the ball. Oh. Who are you planning to take? Since I'll be out your earth, Whether it be Neville Booth or one of the Gleason twins. Well, actually, since I'll be busy cooking. Cooking the steak, the eligible bachelors of Ambridge will just have to find another date. Oh, I'm really sorry we won't be together on that night. Maybe I should have put my foot down. Insisted on one more week to get ready. Hey, no more sorrys. I mean, it would have been tough whenever you left, but we both decided that this was the right thing to do. So let's stop moping about and think about how we make the best of it. All right. What have you got in mind? Well, it felt so good at Botticellis on Monday. How can we keep that going? Oh, hey, well, I'm not sure my wages will stretch to cocktails and oysters every night. You know what I mean? It felt good because we were laughing about stupid stuff and chatting about little things. Used to be like that all the time. And I feel like we've only just started to get it back. I really don't want to lose it. Then let's make an actual list. The rules of engagement. Yeah. Yeah. And. Okay, well, I'll start with number one. Right. We send each other a Waking up in the morning selfie. What? First thing? Yeah. Because you always look at your most gorgeous with your hair all wild and your face is all. Sleepy smudged. Sleepy smudged. You finished? Yeah. Hang on. Chelsea, can we talk? What? I didn't mean, you know, what I said about jumping into bed. Please, can you just sit for a sec? I'm busy. It doesn't look busy. Please. Okay, but I ain't got long. I didn't mean, you know, when I said that stuff, I Think you did. I think you were talking about me and all girls like me. Girls like you? Yeah. Girls you feel superior to. I don't feel superior. Yeah, you do. I actually don't. And I don't care what you do. But I don't love it that you're coming up to me with all this attitude about Brad, and the actual last thing I wanted to do was hurt him or embarrass him or whatever. But that. That 100% doesn't mean that I have to say yes when he asks me out. Well, you were giving off pretty clear signals. Of course you thought you were into him. Oh, well, that sounds a lot like she was wearing the wrong clothes. If Brad or Ben or whoever misread friendship is a come on, then that's their problem, not mine. Now don't start making out that Brad's some kind of sex pest. He only asked you to the cinema. I know, and I only said I didn't want to go. I spent ages working out how to properly reply to him so he wouldn't feel bad for asking. And the only person who's making it weird is you. Whatever. Brad and Ben are both really nice, and if I was different, then who knows? But I'm me. What's you gonna stay single forever? I didn't say that. I just don't date. What does that even mean? Like, I don't think you'd get it if I told you. Oh, fine. Yeah, you're right. And probably too thick. Tell you what, why don't I just go and smoke a packet of fags behind the bus shelter, see what random man turns up. Chels. Great. It's so beautiful now. There's nothing like the smell of woodland after a rainstorm. Oh yeah, the bark ferns. Hey, hey, hey. You know what? Oh, what? I think I can even hear mushrooms growing. You cannot. Sure. Listen, Hey, I bet we look like one of those couples on social media. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah. Holding hands. Hands and like laughing in the moonlight. Both drop dead gorgeous. Harrison, you know I said that we didn't need to speak every day. Can we change it? Can we definitely speak every day? Of course. Cuz no matter what we're doing, we should be able to find five minutes for each other. You know, for a proper live, real time chat. Sen them all. It's on the list. So up we've got morning selfies, silly gifts, weekly online movie nights, and a daily delivery of your home cooked food with a selection of my favorite sweet treat that was not on the list. It was. It always was. I just. You know, I forgot to tell you. Are you okay? Yeah. Is this still about Brad and Zab? Kind of. Because Brad's all right about it. I think he's getting ready to forgive you. Is he? And you've provided him with an excuse to get out of running the mindfulness coloring on Friday. Muggins here has agreed to do it instead of him. Well, Zainab's not going to say anything to him, if that's what he's worried about. I think he just needs to put a bit of time between sending the text and seeing her again. I'm sure they'll be friends again soon enough. Yeah. Come here. You're my beautiful, impulsive, smart, fierce, and funny girl. And I love you. Not any of those things. Except maybe impulsive. If that means thoughtless. Oh, don't be daft. You're my mom. You have to say nice things about me. It doesn't mean they're true. What's up, Chelsea? Did something happen? Something else? No. Am I a good person? Yes. Because? Well, I'm just. I'm not sure I am. What's brought this on? Nothing. I'm just not sure I'm really the person I want to be. I think about things I say, things I do or have done, and I just don't always like myself. We all make mistakes. No, but what if some mistakes are too big to deal with? Like what? I'm sorry I ran away that time. You don't have to be sorry. You must have been losing it. What kind of selfish person would do that to her? Mum, you weren't in any state to think about me at that time. You were in survival mode. I don't even really remember it that well. The only thing I cared about was getting you back to us. Mum. Yeah? I had a go at Zainab this afternoon. About Brad. I thought you'd agreed it was best not to interfere anymore. I know. But it's too late. I already did. What did you say to her? Oh, I don't want to think about it. Didn't even mean half of it. But then she said all this stuff to me, too. Like what kind of stuff? Don't matter. Mom. The people around here think I sleep around. Is it any of their business what you choose to do? No, but. But do they think that. Is that what Zainab said? Not exactly. But that's what she was thinking. You don't know what she was thinking. But I haven't slept with anyone since that night with Ben. Is that what's bothering you? Oh, I don't even know. Look, Chelsea, the men you choose to sleep with or not sleep with will never define you. Who you are is in here. Don't hand that to anyone. Wish I hadn't said anything to Zab. Is it worth going to talk to her tomorrow when you both calm down? I don't think so. She made it pretty clear what she thinks of girls like me. I don't see how I can change her mind about that. Oh, Chelsea. Like I finally had a friend in Ambridge. Like a good one. And now I've got to messed it all up. This coffee. It's really very good. Oliver will only have the best at Grey Gables. Although Chelsea makes a wonderful chai latte at the tea room. I saw her in the shop earlier. She's doing a movement session at Brookfield Barn tomorrow. She was trying to persuade me to come along. Oh, must be part of this well being event. Rochelle did mention something the other week. Although between you and me, I'm not sure Joyce daughter has the skills to organise a village event. Where is the marketing, Robert? Not a post or a poster in sight. Well, she should have recruited you, Lindick. And then it would have been the talk of the town. Yes, well, she didn't. I would have been very happy to help, but. Oh well, Lawrence will be here any minute. Oh, right. Well, I'll. I'll be off then. No, don't feel you have to, Robert. No, no, it's all right. I. I'm meeting Jim at the Hyde at 12 and want to pop home for my boots first. And you, Lindy, have a lot to achieve here this morning. You don't need me distracting you, Ambridges master manipulator. There is nothing manipulative about my plan. And by the time the article comes out, I fully expect Ambridge to dominate the allotted space. With Rosarin in the Vale a mere footnote. Well, our village is prettier. I've always thought Rosarin a bit straggly. And the thatch cottage by the stream? Hugely overrated. More scarecrow than chocolate box. Linda. Robin. Good to see you both again. It's Robert. Sorry, not Robin. Lawrence. So good to see you too. Here, have my chair. Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. I'll ask the barista to bring over another for me. No need, no need. I'm leaving anyway. This one is all yours. It's very kind of you. Robert's going bird watching. I'm hoping we might get treated to some preening after this Morning's downpour. Birds like to rearrange their feathers, spread out the oils to protect the from future storms. Storms which, if the forecast is right, are heading our way. Is it all right if I put the Bulls Valentine flyers outside the office? Oh, yeah, of course, Fallon. Thanks. Your mum told me Harrison's leaving next week. Yeah. This all happens so quickly. Alice. I meant to message you on Monday, but my head's been all over the place. I bet. Do you have to rush off? I'm almost finished with the yard if you fancy a quick coffee. I feel like we've got loads to catch up on. I know. I'd love to, but I've got to get going. How about sometime tomorrow? Yeah, sounds good. Are you working today? Yeah, but not until later. First I'm meeting Harrison for a midday date at Grey Gables. Oh, nice. For lunch? No, no, better than that. No, we're going for a spa, followed by their cheese platter in the lounge. Oh, sounds gorgeous. I'm jealous. We're making use of our Ambridge vouchers before they go out of date. Ambridge vouchers? What they. You should have got yours through the post last week. I think it's a Grey Gables promotion to get villagers to use the hotel more. You can book an off peak session at the spa for free this week. Oh, great idea. I'd love that. I bet Martha's probably nabbed mine for a post office set. I discovered she's turned into a little mail thief. Oh, no. Yes. I mean, good job. Most of it's. I found loads of letters stuffed into her mini post box the other day, covered in scribbles and unicorn styles. Hey, Kenton told me you did well at the quiz on Tuesday. Sounds like a great night. Mum said the bar was packed until last order. Yeah, I mean, we almost won. Who was on your team? There was Chris, Tracy and Hannah. Chris and Hannah? Yeah. Was that all right? Yeah, yeah, that it was okay. I mean, Alice, if you want to talk about it, about Chris Manor. No, I don't know. I've got 10 minutes. Or, I mean, we could grab a quick coffee. No, no, it's fine, honestly. Are you sure? I. I don't really know what there is to say. Ooh, speaking of which, is that Hannah's car? Yeah. Hi, Hannah. Oh, hi, Fallon. Alice. How are you doing? Yeah, good, great. Yeah. I'm just off to meet my husband for a hot date. Steaming hot. Do I need to know this much detail? They're going for a spa. Steam. Steam room. Ah, that kind of steaming Hot. Well, have fun. Thanks. Let's meet for that coffee soon. Yes? Yeah, I'll leave the flyers in the office. Yeah, no worries. Bye. Fallon. I would say I'm jealous of her spa day, but I'm actually really looking forward to this riding lesson. Oh, is that today? I thought Lillian booked that in for tomorrow with Joanne. No, I definitely booked for the 6th. It's my only day off for a while. Here, I've got the confirmation email on my phone here. It says to arrive 15 minutes before the lesson. Yeah, okay. Sorry, my mistake. Well, the only thing is Joanne's out on a hack with a group of agriculture students from Borchester. She won't be back until. Until late afternoon. Oh, but I'm free if you don't mind having the lesson with me. Really? That'd be great if you can spare the time. Yeah, it's fine. Come on, let's get your horse saddled up. So you see, the reader will become so invested in the story of Anbridge. Brave winners of a lower division being welcomed to a whole new level of village cricket by the mighty Rosarine in the Vale. And. And perhaps the photographer will be able to take a shot of both teams with us holding our trophy. I think it's a marvellous idea. No wonder you're Linda Snell MBE. It takes vision to make the ordinary extraordinary. Well, I'm sure your article as was, would have been better than ordinary, but you know what I mean. Whether it's the Ambridge mystery plays or this year's panto, or indeed a coffee date at Grey Gable. You have an ability to raise the game. Not everyone can do that. Well, thank you, Lawrence. It's very generous of you to say so. Do you think the journalist will go for the change of focus? I'm almost certain she will. I'll text her now. Ah, Fallon. Linda. It's lovely to see you here. Yes, I've. I've become rather fond of their coffee. Have you tried it? I came with mum soon after it opened. Its really nice. I mean, no match for the tea room. Of course. You don't have to pretend I've got no special loyalties to the tea room anymore. No. Well, in my mind though, it's heyday will always be the time under your management. Thank you, Linda. Fallon, this is Lawrence. Oh, my pleasure. Hi. Nice to meet you. You met her husband at the Bull on Sunday, our captain last season. Ah, yes, Harrison. He seems like a great fellow. Sorry to hear he won't be playing this season. Yeah, he's really disappointed too. Would you like to join us? Pull up a chair. Oh, thanks, but I'm actually meeting Harrison at the spa. Oh, how lovely. Before I go, though, can I leave a Valentine flyer for you both? It's a bit cheeky of me since Grey Gables are doing their own Valentine special. Oh. Oh, look at that, Lawrence. What a beautiful design. Steak frite, right up my street. And all cooked by me. Do you think you and Robert will come, Linda? Well, I'm afraid Robert has more dental work booked in for next Friday, so unfortunately, he'll be on a liquid diet. Only soups, ice cream, custard. Not the most romantic of menus. Oh, there's Harrison now. Nice to meet you, Lawrence. Likewise. And give my best to Harrison. Actually, Linda, there's no rule to say you have to bring your husband. You could leave Robert with his custard and come with a friend. And what kind of wife would that make me? Bye, Harrison. You know, I would be more than happy to step in and have a romantic meal with Yolinda while Robert is out of action. Oh, goodness. I don't think Fallon meant that. I'm serious. I think you're an extremely attractive woman. Oh. You're doing really well, Hannah. Oh, thanks. I think you're ready to try a trot on your own. Are you sure? Yep. Just focus on everything you've learned today and you'll be fine. Okay, let me just think. Squeeze the reins, sit up tall. Yeah, that's it. Then squeeze with my legs. That's it. Great. Right, trot on. Bella, you're a natural. Brilliant. Now prepare to come down into a walk. Squeeze the reins and sit down in the saddle. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's it. Beautifully done, Hannah. Great control. I did it. Okay, so I've got Bella held nice and steady. Now you dismount like I showed you. Okay, here goes. Oh, that's it. Congratulations. You really think I got on okay? Yeah. You picked everything up so quickly. I can't wait to tell Chris. He was teasing me the other night, saying I didn't have it in me to be with the horsey crowd. Oh, well, I'd say that's a compliment. From him, maybe. How's it going with you two? What do you mean? Oh, nothing. I just thought. I. I don't know. I just don't want it to be awkward. Well, it's not. Not for me, anyway. I thought we all got on pretty well at the quiz. Yeah, we did. Forget I said anything. Okay, but I'm just trying to work out what you meant because it Sounds like you think we're dating. Oh, because we're not. Oh. But I thought that we might have come close at one point. But not now? Definitely not. Oh, okay. Sorry. Nothing to be sorry about. Now, when can I sign up for my next lesson? So Jim wasn't in the best of moods at the Hide today? No, he was grumbling about the weather. Then he got onto this week's quiz. Apparently Lillian was filling him in on some of the questions and he felt Kenton had let the standard slip. Oh, dear. Though I imagine some of the punters were delighted to have an easier ride. For once, Jim can be a little too cryptic. Prides himself on it. Did you at least spot anything interesting from the Hide? No, nothing more than a mallard. Oh, look at me in my slippers and pyjamas at 7 o'clock with a hot water bottle and toasted tea cake. Oh, Robert, you look lovely to me. Well, at least for now. Stop dribbling. I'm almost tempted to cancel the final round of dental torture to avoid any more pain and humiliation. You do no such thing. I'm just going to make Valentine's Day a bit of a damp squib this year. Well, that's all right. I'll put our soup into cocktail glasses and we'll sip it through straws. I'm glad you got what you wanted from Lawrence. Mmm. Though I might be having second thoughts about our collaboration. Why? Because a strange thing happened. Just before he got the thumbs up from the journalist Robert, he asked me out. On. Well, on a date. What? I tried to pass it off as a joke, but he was deadly serious. But I meant the man. He knows you're married. Quite the cheek of him. I know. I was as shocked as you are. We got on very well, but I had no idea he was planning to try to. Well, seduce me. What was this? Just after I left the pair of you? Yes, in complete knowledge. I'm a married woman. It's amazing how brazen he was. I thought that getting older and having scars would mean I'd need to be less on my guard against his kind than I was in my younger days. Well, I'm sorry to bat away his unwanted attentions. How annoying for you. Do you think I ought to tell Lawrence that I. I don't want to work on the feature with him now? No, no, don't feel you have to on my account. Anyway, it'd be criminal to let the old Lotharia spoil something so important to you. It's obvious the man has been completely Bowled over, knocked for six. I'm. I'm well aware what a lucky man I am. You're by far the most beautiful and spirited woman in Borsetshire. Borsetshire? I meant the world, Lindy. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. All right, Zainab. The door's locked and the lights are off. There's no sign of anyone. Well, Sony, just gone half past. Oh, have you tried ringing Ben? I don't have his number. Oh, well, I'm not hanging about in this rain. Well, you can go to the farmhouse and see if he's there. Oh, hang on. We're here. He is now. Ben. Sorry. I couldn't find the key. Dad had stuffed it in a random box after the Hasset Hills event. It's all right. Come on, open up. We're soaking. Sorry. I'll get the heating on. You can dry off. Thanks. Do you know what time Relle's getting here? Nope. I literally haven't spoken to her since she asked me to do this weeks ago. Me neither. Wow. Paul's face. Do you know if Relle wants the tea ur switching on? I don't know. I thought she'd be here by now. And is she bringing Bluetooth speakers for my music? I can connect your phone to our sound system if you like, so that's no problem. Alright. But it would be good to know if she wants like tables and chairs and stuff getting out. I think we should ring her. People are going to be turning up soon. There's some fairy lights in here. Might be nice. Have you got a number? It should be on the booking. One sec. Yep. Rochelle here. Thanks. All right, let me see. I would have expected it to be your ages ago. Setting up. Yeah, I guess. Yes. Not ringing. Must have switched it off. Charming. So weird. Can you try Joy, see if Rochelle's left yet? Yeah, yeah, good idea. My mum's got a number. I'll just head back over to the house. Will you both be all right? Yeah. So what do we do now? People are gonna start turning up soon. We'll just have to get organized. What, you mean still do it? Yeah, it's a well being night. It's not really in the spirit of the thing to turn people away. Yeah, true. Okay, so we've got about half an hour to get ready. Shall we start with those lights? Make it a bit more chilled. Yeah, because strip lighting isn't exactly relaxing. They're a bit tangled up. Okay. I can help you with them. Okay. Okay. Thanks so much for well being. I'm stressed out. My mind. I know, right? Oh, wait. Hang on a minute. That plug needs to go through that. Not in your bit there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Keep it here. Zainab, Before Ben gets back, I just wanted to say that I shouldn't have got involved. You know, with you and Brad. Yeah. I've been feeling pretty awful about all that. I'm sorry. I may doubt that you've done something wrong. You don't owe my brother a date. I know I don't. But thanks for saying sorry. I'm sorry, too. For what? I don't want you to. To think I'm judging you, but that you did just assume stuff about me, and it felt like it was because I was. I don't know. It don't matter. No, say what it felt like. Please. All right. When some people first meet me, they think I'm thick because of my accent. Although, I don't go to uni, so maybe they're right. But I don't go to uni, either. But you're a doctor's daughter. A doctor's daughter delivering takeaways. Do you think that's what my mom and dad want? In fact, pretty much the only thing I get right in their eyes is the fact that I'm happy not to date. I still don't really know what you mean by that. I'm a Muslim, and that's important to me. So until I know what I want, I'm just not going there. I think that's okay. Of course it's okay. But when it comes to most other things in my life, I feel like I'm a big, muddled mess. Especially when I look at you. Me? You're 20 and already running your own business. I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life. But you definitely don't want Ben. No. Though he is really sweet. Yeah, he really is. But friends is good enough for me. Okay. Okay, I got it. I'll put away my cupid's bow. But, Martha. Careful. She's gonna slip over. Good luck stopping that girl from jumping in muddy puddles. Well, at least with her six dresses on, she can afford to shed a layer or two. No, Martha. Other way, sweetheart. Oh, she's so cute. She really reminds me of you when you were little. Oh, yeah. I always think she looks more like Alice. It's not so much the way she looks, it's just how she is. She thinks about things really carefully, especially if it involves riding a horse. True, though. She's even getting there with that. Are we early? No. It does seem a bit quiet. I thought there'd be loads of cars because of the rain. Might get a lucky escape with your mindful coloring, I hope not. Quite looking forward to it, aren't you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't sound convinced. Come on. Let's see what chaos Minnie Carter can cause. Now, this is our last movement, so I need you to put all your energy into it. All right, now really stretch up your arms towards the sky. You too, Mum. I'm doing it, Charles. All right, now shake your hands. Imagine all the end flowing through you, leaving your fingertips like little sparks. Oh, so brilliant. Martha, I can actually see your sparks now. Nana, hold it there for a second. How come we're not getting any praise for our sparks? What? I mean, I just meant, you know, we've got good energy, we've been doing good stretching. And finally, I'll take a deep breath in and let it slowly out as you bring your arms down to your sides. That's it. And you're done. Okay, well, I'm going to go get my poems. Oh, you're still doing the poetry reading, then? I have to. I told Martha I was going to read a poem about crows, and she told me she wants to make a dance to it. I didn't know you were into birds. Well, you've all been brilliant. Like, super me in, but the star of the night is most definitely Marfa. Right, so I'm making a coffee for Chris and me and tea for everyone else. Yep. And I found some juice for Martha. Ben said there's some biscuits in the cupboard, too. Oh, yeah, good idea. Although I don't think Chris will appreciate us giving Martha a sugar rush before bedtime. Oh, yeah, probably not. Maybe you and I could just sneak one instead. Oh, go on then. Poor Zainab. She must be on the fifth reading of that poem by now. We could go and distract Martha with coloring. It is what you're supposed to be doing. No need. I've palmed the coloring off onto Chris. I think it's fair enough since his daughter will be the only participant. I still can't believe nobody turned up. Do you know any more about what happened? So, apparently Rochelle just left Ambridge without sorting any of it out. Joy was really embarrassed when Ben spoke to her. She offered to come and help and everything, but we told her not to bother. I mean, we had it in hand, like, sort of. Well, at least it's not been a total flop, because Martha is having the time of her life. She loves you. And Zada Yeah, I. How's it going with the two of you? Did you get a chance to talk? We made up, sort of. Oh, that's good. There. Turns out she was feeling as bad as I was. So you're friends again? I think so. That's a relief. Anyone can see that. You two should be mates. Oh yeah. Why? You've got the same energy, same attitude, like. Attitude? Attitude? No, I mean you're both up for grabbing life and going for it. Yeah, we are a bit, aren't we? Yeah. Too right. Rachels, in the kitchen. We're gonna clear up early. There's no point hanging about for another hour. Especially since our one little customer is almost asleep in her dad's arms. No. Is that okay with you? Nah. Defo all that dancing. I'm knackered. Is she asleep? Yeah. She looks gorgeous. Like a little red cheeked bunny. She had a great night. Glad we made the effort. It's just a shame more people didn't know about it. I dunno, I quite liked our exclusive party. Just loved watching her dancing. She really went for it, didn't she? Yeah. Alice would have been in stitches watching her. I should have videoed it. You know, I used to feel sad coming to. Coming to things like this without Alice. But you get used to it. Do you think you'll stay safe? No, not always. Well, at least I hope not. But for now I like it. I'm more than used to it, actually. I'm pretty happy as I am. Oh, good. And I like that it's calm at home. Yeah, I know it sounds boring, but the routine is nice. I don't want drama. It's not boring to make a safe and happy home for your little girl. And when I see Alice, it's fine. Like at the quiz. I mean, we're friends. It's nice. It's really nice. Thanks for all your help. I'm pretty sure it's more than you signed up for. It's all right. I enjoyed it. Can you pass me that mug? Yep. There you go. So, did you have a good time? Yeah, because colouring in Tracey's badly drawn unicorns with a three year old is everyone's dream. Friday night. I'd have never learned lotus hands if the barn had been packed with people. So true. But no, actually I did have a really nice time. I think we smashed it. Yeah. Yeah, we did, didn't we? Hey, and the night's still young. I was. I was wondering if you fancy going into Borchester for a pizza. Oh, that's a brilliant idea, Ben. I think we deserve it. Let's get finished up here and head off. Shotgun. I'm going in the front. Looks like you're in the back, then, Zainab. All right? Yeah, sounds good. I'll go and turn the heating off. Thanks, Charles. Don't mention it. What a friend's for, eh? Sa hello. Greg Jenner here. I am the host of youf're Dead to Me from BBC Radio 4. We are the comedy show that takes history seriously and then laughs at it. And we're back for a brand new series, Series nine, where we're covering all sorts of things, from Aristotle to the legends of King Arthur to the history of coffee to the reign of Catherine of Medici of France. We are looking at the arts and craft movement and the life of Sojourner Truth and how cuneiform writing systems worked in the Bronze Age. Loads of different stuff. It's a fantastic series. It's funny. We get great historians, we get great comedians. So if you want to listen to youo're Dead To Me, Listen first on BBC Sounds.