14/12/2025

Summary

The Archers Omnibus – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Archers Omnibus
Host: BBC Radio 4
Episode Title: 14/12/2025
Date: December 13, 2025
Theme: The week's events in Ambridge

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Overview

This week's episode of The Archers Omnibus centers on a turbulent week for Ambridge residents. Domestically, the focus is on housemates Lily, Josh, and Paul coping with illness and some life-changing decisions. Meanwhile, Dr. Zainab Malik and her family deal with professional pressures at the village surgery, major plumbing disasters, and the lingering question of whether to return to Pakistan—highlighting issues of belonging and home. Subplots include romantic misadventures, career crossroads, and a dramatic medical emergency at the surgery.

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Key Discussion Points & Plotlines

1. House Share Chaos and Lily Pargetta’s Australia Plans

Key Characters: Lily, Josh, Paul, Zainab, Lottie, Leonard

• The episode opens with the housemates bickering over mess and lost items. Lily is frantic after losing her passport just before her big move to Australia, sparking doubts and teasing from her friends (01:29–04:51).
• Discussion turns philosophical as Josh and Paul question Lily’s motivations for travel, hinting at running away from bigger life decisions:

  “People who do the traveling thing don't solve anything by backpacking across Thailand or whatever. You just take your problems with you. They're still there when you get home.”
  — Josh Archer (04:32)

• Lily ultimately locates her passport but continues to defend her decision, even as the others gently poke fun at "finding herself" abroad.
• Paul, always the peacemaker:

  “Guys, guys, come on. Let's not fight. We don't want to spoil our house meal, do we?”
  (05:12)

Notable Quote

• “If all you're going to do is have a go at me, I'm glad.” — Josh Archer (05:10)

2. The House Meal & Food Poisoning Mystery

• Tension gives way to camaraderie as the housemates prep a traditional Sunday meal: Brookfield beef, pudding, cocktails, and Lily’s cauliflower cheese.
• The next morning, both Lily and Josh feel unexpectedly ill and initially blame each other's cooking and the previous night's drinking (14:00–15:09).
• With symptoms worsening (diarrhea, vomiting, exhaustion), Zainab is consulted by phone (20:02–20:59) and advises fluids and rest. Eventually, Paul succumbs too.
• Tests later confirm it's norovirus, not food poisoning or a hangover (54:12–54:26).
• The illness prompts reflection: Lily finds herself questioning her Australia plans, and Josh begins reassessing his priorities and feelings about home.

Notable Moment

• The three friends realize they’ve been too hard on each other amid their shared misery and support each other through recovery (26:00–29:24).

3. Professional Challenges at the Surgery: Zainab's Story

Key Characters: Zainab, Akram, Zainab's children, Lottie

• Crises at the village surgery: failed heating (12:13–13:07), computer discrepancies, and overwhelming workload with surgery partners pushing for longer hours (51:36–52:05).
• Zainab feels personal and professional strain, compounded by pressure to meet targets and manage IT failings, and ponderings on whether to move the family back to Pakistan with Akram (25:27–28:56, 70:48–73:34).
• Akram, normally keen on returning, witnesses his family's integration and decides that staying in Ambridge might be best for everyone after all.
• Zainab demonstrates heroism during a medical emergency when a patient (Lawrence Harrington) collapses, requiring immediate action (58:53–59:52).

Notable Quotes

• “Perhaps we would all be better off in Pakistan.” — Zainab (62:25)
• “The grass isn't always greener.” — Akram (72:40)

4. Prejudices & Community

• The surgery receives multiple reminders of the challenges faced by minorities in rural communities. Lottie faces racially charged behavior from a patient (45:24–45:34), and Zainab ruminates on both the acceptance and marginalization she feels in Ambridge (35:03–35:19).
• Vicar Alan Franks proposes using the village hall for Muslim Friday prayers while the mosque is repaired, signaling positive interfaith relations (48:29–49:06).

Notable Quote

• "Welcome to my world." — Lottie, on experiencing racism (45:33)

5. Relationships, Decisions, and Moving On

• Josh’s relationship with musician Nina hits a crossroads. After feeling neglected, and encouraged by Lily and Paul, he decides he deserves more:

  “If I'm her boyfriend, then I deserve more than, well, what she's been giving me, which is just a pile of grief…” — Josh Archer (64:03–64:07)

• Lily cancels her yearlong plans, realizing she was partly running away and decides instead on a shorter trip to Australia, reconnecting with an old friend (64:51–65:05).
• Paul agrees to finally tackle his driving test phobia, seeking specialist help for nervous students (69:54–70:13).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “People who do the traveling thing don't solve anything by backpacking across Thailand or whatever…”
  — Josh Archer (04:32)
• “We just have to get through them best we can.”
  — Zainab, upon hearing that the surgery will be short-staffed (52:40)
• “Moribund. That's how I describe your relationship with Nina.”
  — Lily Pargetta (10:34)
• Paul’s driving test epic fail stories:

  “The idea of getting back behind the wheel of a car. It just gives me the heebie jeebies.” (44:10–44:17)

• Zainab’s measured kindness during a racist patient confrontation:

  “This really isn't acceptable.” (58:49)

• Akram’s realization:

  “I've seen a lot in the last few days, Azra… when I really think about what's most important to me, it's my family, their happiness.” (71:13–71:45)

• Lily changes her plans:

  “I'm changing my plans for Australia… I've decided that a year's too much time to be away.” (64:48–64:58)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:29 – Housemate conflict over mess and missing passport
• 04:32 – Josh questions the value of traveling to “find yourself”
• 14:00 – Post-party aftermath: illness hits
• 20:02 – Zainab gives medical advice
• 26:00–29:24 – Housemates realize it’s viral, not food poisoning
• 35:03 – Akram on challenges of fitting in
• 45:24–45:34 – Lottie faces racist behavior at reception
• 54:12–54:26 – Confirmed: norovirus
• 58:53–59:52 – Medical emergency at the surgery
• 62:25 – Zainab wonders about life in Pakistan
• 64:51 – Lily rethinks travel, chooses a shorter trip
• 70:13 – Paul finds specialist help for driving phobia
• 73:30 – Leonard and Joy secretly clean the house
• 74:13 – Akram invites family to Christmas village lights, signaling belonging

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Closing Thoughts

The episode expertly weaves together themes of change, home and belonging, and the challenges of both personal and communal responsibility. Major household events prompt big self-examinations and result in significant character decisions—most notably for Lily, Josh, and Akram.

The housemates' usually light-hearted banter is balanced by more somber notes about community acceptance, professional challenges, and the realities of rural life for minority families. Acts of quiet heroism, neighbourliness, and last-minute interventions remind listeners of the strength and complexity of life in Ambridge.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Paul]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Paul]

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[Announcer]

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[Alistair]

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[Josh Archer]

Fascinating.

[Akram]

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[Josh Archer]

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[Announcer]

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[Josh Archer]

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[Announcer]

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[Paul]

You're listening to the Archers Omnibus from BBC Radio 4.

[Lily Pargetta]

This is ridiculous. What's all this junk mail doing here?

[Josh Archer]

Don't ask me.

[Lily Pargetta]

We never read any of it.

[Josh Archer]

So chuck it away, then panic over.

[Lily Pargetta]

I didn't leave it here.

[Josh Archer]

Neither did I. Lily.

[Paul]

Shop had custard powder, so we will have my granny's.

[Zainab]

Oh, careful, Paul.

[Paul]

I nearly went flying there. Whose is this gym bag?

[Lily Pargetta]

Two guesses.

[Paul]

Josh, can you put your stuff away?

[Josh Archer]

I only got in two minutes ago.

[Paul]

So you just dumped it in the middle of the doorway?

[Josh Archer]

It wasn't in the middle of the doorway.

[Paul]

Oh, this place is an absolute tip.

[Josh Archer]

Thanks to you. Me?

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah. You are so untidy.

[Josh Archer]

Josh, that knackered old stereo isn't mine.

[Paul]

Well, Mum's going to take it to the recycling place for me.

[Josh Archer]

You've been saying that for weeks and you can't talk. Lily, what about all the laundry in the bathroom?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, I can't dry it outside, can I? Have you seen the weather?

[Josh Archer]

But it stays there forever.

[Lily Pargetta]

Anyway, never mind that. Have either of you seen my passport?

[Paul]

Why would we have seen your passport?

[Lily Pargetta]

I took it to work to get a couple of photocopies and now I can't find it. I. Or the copies. The one thing that's absolutely essential.

[Josh Archer]

What about a credit card?

[Lily Pargetta]

What?

[Josh Archer]

That's essential too.

[Paul]

Unless you took cash.

[Josh Archer]

Well, hardly anyone uses cash these days.

[Paul]

Maybe the Australians still do.

[Lily Pargetta]

Anyway, that's not the point. My passport's gone missing and it's impossible to find anything in this place.

[Paul]

True. Josh could create a mess in an empty room.

[Josh Archer]

Why are you picking on me? I'm not the one who's lost an essential Travel document. Anyway, are you really sure about this Australia trip?

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, of course I am. It's all booked. Leaving on the 17th. Open ticket.

[Paul]

And you're going to spend a whole year out there?

[Lily Pargetta]

Absolutely.

[Josh Archer]

With Mason?

[Lily Pargetta]

Not with Mason. I'm just flying out with him and he's gonna help me get settled out there.

[Josh Archer]

A guy you barely know?

[Lily Pargetta]

I do know him.

[Paul]

Do you really, though?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah. What's his middle name?

[Lily Pargetta]

That is completely irrelevant.

[Paul]

Alright then. What do his mum and dad do?

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't know. Something financial. He hasn't really talked about them and.

[Paul]

It is completely platonic?

[Lottie]

Yes.

[Lily Pargetta]

Just mates.

[Josh Archer]

Mates? You barely knew the bloke until two months ago.

[Lily Pargetta]

I knew of him.

[Paul]

You are sure he thinks it's just mates too?

[Zainab]

Yes.

[Paul]

Cause if you're on different pages, that could get really awkward.

[Lily Pargetta]

I can look after myself, thank you.

[Josh Archer]

And the timing's not great, is it?

[Lily Pargetta]

The timing is perfect. I'll be leaving the British winter behind.

[Paul]

Missing Christmas.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes, well, I can't help that.

[Paul]

And haven't you just been offered this plum job at Grey Gables? Wedding coordinator.

[Lily Pargetta]

There'll be other jobs as good as.

[Paul]

This one round here. Seems a shame to be missing out on that sort of opportunity.

[Josh Archer]

Why are you really going?

[Lily Pargetta]

Everyone wants to travel.

[Josh Archer]

Not everyone.

[Lily Pargetta]

I want to broaden my horizons. Explore new cultures, discover myself.

[Josh Archer]

Come home with dreads and a tie.

[Paul]

Dye T shirt and a Chinese symbol tattoo.

[Lily Pargetta]

Don't be ridiculous.

[Paul]

It is a bit of a cliche, Lily. But even if you do want all that, why just Australia? If you're going to the other side of the world, why not Vietnam? Bali?

[Lily Pargetta]

Maybe I'll go there as well, once I've got myself sorted out.

[Josh Archer]

People who do the traveling thing don't solve anything by backpacking across Thailand or whatever. You just take your problems with you. They're still there when you get home.

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't have any problems.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, you don't? I see.

[Paul]

I know what Josh means, though. Are you sure you're not just putting off the decision of what to do the rest of your life?

[Lily Pargetta]

No. And anyway, even if I was, what would be so bad about that?

[Paul]

I'm just saying.

[Lily Pargetta]

Ah, here it is. Onto this PS3. Which hasn't worked for over a year. Josh.

[Josh Archer]

I was going to ask Uncle Tony to take a look at that.

[Lily Pargetta]

Except you just keep moving it around. Do you know what? I'm actually glad I'm leaving this rubbish dump.

[Josh Archer]

If all you're going to do is have a go at me, I'm glad.

[Paul]

Guys, guys, come on. Let's not fight. We don't want to spoil our house meal, do we? We are still doing it, aren't we?

[Josh Archer]

We might as well. I've got all the ingredients now.

[Paul]

Brookfield beef. Yeah, Roasted with spuds and carrots.

[Josh Archer]

That's my plan.

[Paul]

Sounds amazing. And, Lily, what are you doing for the side?

[Lily Pargetta]

Cauliflower cheese.

[Paul]

I love cauliflower cheese. And as well as my granny's sponge pudding and custard. Why don't I knock up a jug of cocktail? Yeah? Help lighten the mood a little.

[Zainab]

When will it be fixed, do you think?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Janto said Tuesday.

[Zainab]

That's definite, is it?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Zenab Yanto knows his scooters.

[Zainab]

Jimmy's Tire Garden will be pleased.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I'll be pleased.

[Zainab]

It's not very convenient, you not being able to deliver on the weekend.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Just for tomorrow morning, though.

[Zainab]

Yeah.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Any chance of a lift to Grey Gables?

[Zainab]

On me, I expect. Between your father and me, we could probably arrange something.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

My dad couldn't get away from the table fast enough, could he?

[Zainab]

Well, you know he always likes to hear from Cousin Usman.

[Lottie]

He does.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

He kind of lights up.

[Zainab]

Well, they're more like brothers, really.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

It sounds like Usman's doing really well.

[Zainab]

I think a lot of construction work's going on in Pindi.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

New Mercedes again.

[Zainab]

Oh, and after Dad's replied to that email, he needs to sort out that loose bit of fencing. If he leaves it any longer, it's going to collapse completely.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

And we don't want that dog getting in our garden.

[Zainab]

They're quite big panels. He'll need a hand, I expect.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Khalil, Dad's got a job for you.

[Zainab]

Cheeky.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Is my day off.

[Zainab]

Oh, mine too, theoretically. But I've got to go into the surgery this afternoon.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What?

[Zainab]

We've been getting stick from the partners, you know, at the main practice. They're complaining that I haven't been hitting my targets for recording things like blood pressure and diabetes tests. Well, I understand it affects the practice income, but the thing is, I know I have been inputting all the test data, but I'm not convinced the IT system's recording them properly.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

So?

[Zainab]

So, for the past couple of weeks, I've been keeping manual records as well. I'm going to check them with what the computer thinks.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, that's outrageous. Because of their dodgy computer system, you've got to work on your day off.

[Zainab]

That's too frantic during the week. I just need some quiet time. I'll only be a couple of hours.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Yeah, but still.

[Zainab]

I just hate anyone thinking that I'm not doing my job properly.

[Paul]

I don't know why everyone's so mardy today.

[Josh Archer]

What do you mean, mardy?

[Paul]

Well, I just saw Emma Grundy in the shop. Looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

[Lily Pargetta]

Can I have that knife?

[Josh Archer]

Sure.

[Lily Pargetta]

This cheese definitely needs using up.

[Paul]

You'd think she'd be happy with George home.

[Lily Pargetta]

How can you tell, though? What do you mean?

[Paul]

Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Emma's just got that sort of face, hasn't she?

[Josh Archer]

I think she's got a rather pretty face.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, perhaps, if you like that sort of thing.

[Paul]

Well, Josh obviously does.

[Josh Archer]

Shut up, Paul.

[Lily Pargetta]

She could pout for England.

[Josh Archer]

Meow.

[Paul]

Right. Quality control.

[Lily Pargetta]

You did wash this knife, didn't you?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

[Lily Pargetta]

You better have, after cutting meat with it.

[Josh Archer]

I haven't cut any meat. Just the veg.

[Paul]

More tequila, I think.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

More?

[Lily Pargetta]

The first one was strong enough.

[Paul]

Are you both going to be around next Sunday?

[Lily Pargetta]

Not sure.

[Zainab]

Probably.

[Paul]

We should give Lily a Christmas dinner, shouldn't we?

[Josh Archer]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul]

Turkey. And all the trimmings to make up.

[Josh Archer]

For missing it this year.

[Lily Pargetta]

Who says I'm going to miss it? I bet they have turkey in Australia. Just in glorious weather. On the beach, drinking white wine in the sun.

[Josh Archer]

Okay, to make up for missing the tractor run, then.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, yes. I actually am devastated about that. Can you open the oven? This is ready to go in.

[Josh Archer]

No problem. I've left the top shelf free.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, excellent. 35 minutes, which should allow 20 for.

[Josh Archer]

The beef to rest.

[Paul]

What a team. Right, bring your glasses. This one's even better than the first version.

[Zainab]

Oh, come on. Come on.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Hey, Mum.

[Zainab]

Oh, Zeynep. Why are you answering Dad's phone?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

He's in the garden with Khalil, sawing those fence panels like you told him, right? Moaning about the drizzle and the wind. He'll never get used to British weather.

[Zainab]

Zainab, could you please go and get him immediately?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Why? What's up?

[Zainab]

I'm at the surgery. There's water all over the waiting room floor.

[Josh Archer]

Tomorrow. That's far too early.

[Paul]

No, it's already late. A tree should go up in the first week of December.

[Josh Archer]

No, it shouldn't. The week before Christmas.

[Paul]

Where's the fun in that? You've no sooner put it up than you'll be taking it down.

[Josh Archer]

What do you think, Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Don't ask me. I'm not going to be here.

[Paul]

We really do need to get on with finding a new tenant.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

Don't hog all the wine, Josh.

[Paul]

We can open another bottle.

[Josh Archer]

What do you think I should Get.

[Paul]

Nina for Christmas another string to her bow. You know, because she plays the violin.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, no, we got that.

[Josh Archer]

How's the stand up career working out?

[Lily Pargetta]

Paul, do you really want to get her anything?

[Josh Archer]

Why shouldn't I?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, will she get you something?

[Josh Archer]

I expect so.

[Lily Pargetta]

Moribund.

[Paul]

What a great word.

[Josh Archer]

What?

[Lily Pargetta]

Moribund. That's how I describe your relationship with Nina.

[Josh Archer]

No, it isn't.

[Paul]

It could do with reviving. Josh, you need to make a big dramatic gesture.

[Josh Archer]

Actually, I did have something in mind for Christmas. More than that. The Straw Crows have a pile of new songs. Right. But their record label went bust a few months ago. I was thinking about getting a loan so they could make another album.

[Paul]

No.

[Josh Archer]

Showed Nina how serious I am about her.

[Paul]

No, I meant something rom com y. Like turning up under her window of a beatbox.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes. Or like learning how to dance the tango.

[Josh Archer]

What would be the point in that?

[Lily Pargetta]

It's romantic.

[Josh Archer]

No, I've decided. They're playing Felpham Corn Exchange on Wednesday. I'm gonna tell Nina then.

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't know.

[Josh Archer]

Josh.

[Lily Pargetta]

What?

[Josh Archer]

It's from Shula. Just letting you know that I'll be visiting Ambridge next weekend. Planning to drop in on Saturday.

[Lily Pargetta]

Shula?

[Josh Archer]

Nothing to worry about. Just want to see that everything's okay.

[Paul]

Coming here?

[Lily Pargetta]

She can't see it like this.

[Paul]

No, no, the place is in a total state.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, well, we never really stuck to that cleaning rotor, did we?

[Paul]

This kitchen is a disgrace.

[Lily Pargetta]

A health hazard, I'd say.

[Josh Archer]

And have you seen the bathroom?

[Paul]

We're gonna have to blitz the place. I'll get a load of cleaning stuff from the shop.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes, good idea. We'll all chip in, obviously, but before we clean, we need to have a massive tidy. Yeah, I mean, not now.

[Paul]

No, but maybe let the cocktail subside a bit.

[Josh Archer]

But tomorrow.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes, tomorrow, definitely.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Mum, is that you?

[Zainab]

Oh, yeah. Put the kettle on, will you?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

You look frozen.

[Zainab]

I am.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Tea?

[Zainab]

Oh, yes, please. And you put some sugar in it.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

So what's happening?

[Zainab]

Pinholes have started to appear in some of the pipes, apparently.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, it doesn't sound good.

[Zainab]

Dad was able to fix the leaks, but of course he had to turn the heating off while he was working on it.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, at least it's sorted in time for surgery tomorrow.

[Zainab]

Sadly not.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What?

[Zainab]

He says that when the current boiler was put in years ago, he reckons they used an inferior grade of copper piping. The entire system is really at the end of its safe life.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What does that mean?

[Zainab]

It means it needs replacing. Urgently. He's still there now, ringing round to find someone who can help him and sourcing parts and so on.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Does that mean the heating will have to stay off?

[Zainab]

Yeah.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

So how are you going to manage with the patients and everything?

[Zainab]

We'll need to get in space heaters, self contained hand wash stations and drinking water.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What a nightmare.

[Zainab]

Yeah. As soon as I've got that tea inside me, I'm going to ring around all the stuff, starting with Janet, the practice manager. Yes, we're going to be under emergency conditions for several days.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, Paul.

[Paul]

Morning.

[Lily Pargetta]

What are you doing?

[Paul]

Or should I say afternoon?

[Lily Pargetta]

Slept through my alarm. Oh, my stomach.

[Paul]

Feeling a little bit delicate, are we?

[Lily Pargetta]

There must have been something wrong with Josh's rose.

[Paul]

Oh, yeah? What does Josh have to say about that?

[Lily Pargetta]

Nothing. I banged on his door but he told me to. Well, go away.

[Paul]

Oh, so the roast is to blame then.

[Lily Pargetta]

Do it. It must be.

[Paul]

Nothing to do with that third jug of cocktail which you were very insistent that I made. No, what you need is an extra large portion of my famous hangover fryer. Oh, shame we haven't got any black pudding. How do you like your eggs, yolk? Nice and runny. Oh, dear. I'll do a side dish of paracetamol, shall I?

[Josh Archer]

Why are you so cheerful?

[Paul]

Well, lovely day ahead. Christmas is coming. What's not to like?

[Josh Archer]

That's an awful lot of breakfast. Hope you're not expecting me to eat any.

[Paul]

Oh, not you as well.

[Josh Archer]

Lily's cauliflower cheese has given me food poisoning.

[Paul]

Her cauliflower cheese?

[Josh Archer]

Yes.

[Paul]

Well, that's odd, because she reckons your roast is to blame. But I ate exactly the same as you two and I'm feeling fine. So the cause is obvious, isn't it?

[Josh Archer]

Is it?

[Paul]

You can't hold your booze. Total lightweight.

[Lily Pargetta]

And you and me what?

[Josh Archer]

There was nothing wrong with my roast.

[Lily Pargetta]

Fitting the meat in the tin with.

[Josh Archer]

Your bare hands, which I'd washed. What about that cheese you used?

[Lily Pargetta]

What about it?

[Josh Archer]

All mouldy.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, there was a tiny bit of mould which I cut off. Anyway, I haven't got the energy to argue. I'm going to need all my strength to get to work.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, there's no way I'm working today.

[Paul]

Yeah, lightweight.

[Josh Archer]

I'll call pit to cover the hens, then I'm going back to bed. Where would you like this heater?

[Zainab]

Oh, in the corner there, please, Ben. Okay, we're going to close the upstairs waiting room and move more chairs into this one.

[Josh Archer]

It makes sense.

[Zainab]

It'll be a bit crowded, but needs must.

[Josh Archer]

You're okay, Ezra.

[Zainab]

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Tell your parents again how grateful we are.

[Josh Archer]

I will.

[Zainab]

Means we'll save a bit on the higher costs.

[Josh Archer]

When I explained the situation, they were glad to help. We've got no bookings for the events barn until the weekend anyway, so the.

[Paul]

Heaters would have just been standing around.

[Zainab]

Well, as soon as this place gets warm, Akram and Cliff will turn off the mains and start the work.

[Josh Archer]

Cliff is. Is he Akram's business partner?

[Zainab]

Oh, no. Akram usually works alone, but because this is such an urgent job, he's got called in another plumber to help him.

[Josh Archer]

Well, if it gets us back to normal as quickly as possible.

[Zainab]

Exactly. Marilyn picked a very good time to be off, didn't she?

[Josh Archer]

Lottie was saying we've got a locum GP this week.

[Zainab]

Dr. Lang? Yes. I don't know him, but I hope he's adaptable. We're going to be boxing and coxing with some of the rooms.

[Josh Archer]

Right.

[Zainab]

Why did this have to happen in the winter?

[Josh Archer]

Akron was saying plumbers know all about the problem of poor quality copper. Result of boom and bust in the.

[Paul]

Industry back in the day.

[Zainab]

Ben, don't get him started on that hobby horse. You'll never get away.

[Paul]

Hello?

[Josh Archer]

Oh, Borsich and medical supplies are here.

[Zainab]

Oh, that'll be the hand wash stations.

[Josh Archer]

I'll go and see if they need any help unloading.

[Zainab]

I'm so grateful to you for coming in early.

[Josh Archer]

It's all hands to the pump, isn't it? Don't worry. We'll get it sorted before the first patients arrive.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Can I ask you something?

[Lily Pargetta]

I was.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

It's just a quickie.

[Lily Pargetta]

Uh, yep.

[Lottie]

Okay.

[Lily Pargetta]

What is it? Zainab.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

You know we've got a special room rate for the AI conference in February. I know you won't be here then, but I thought you might know.

[Lily Pargetta]

Sorry, I'm not really following.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

It's just that someone wants to stay on for the weekend afterwards and they were asking if the discounted rate still applied.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Are you all right? You look very pale.

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't feel.

[Zainab]

Lily?

[Alistair]

Yes, Paul?

[Paul]

Have you got any free time this afternoon? Alistair, just five minutes would do. What's up, Gordon? Mr. Baker brought Achilles in for his post op check after that gastrosurgery.

[Alistair]

Oh, yes, I remember. He'd swallowed a hearing aid battery.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah.

[Alistair]

Why do you need me?

[Paul]

I wasn't sure about how the wound's healing. You were still at Valley Farm and Gordon couldn't hang about, but he could pop back this afternoon if you Were free to take a look at it this afternoon.

[Alistair]

Well, not 2:30 to 3:30, obviously.

[Paul]

Obviously.

[Alistair]

Your annual appraisal.

[Paul]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Alistair]

That is still okay for you.

[Paul]

Totally.

[Alistair]

And you filled in the employee's side of the form?

[Paul]

Yes. I just need to check the spelling. I'll do that now.

[Alistair]

Paul?

[Paul]

Yes?

[Alistair]

That review on Achilles.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Are you okay?

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, I can manage. Oh, you're up then?

[Josh Archer]

Not really.

[Lily Pargetta]

Not really?

[Josh Archer]

Why are you back?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Lily nearly passed out.

[Lily Pargetta]

Zainab kindly brought me home.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Yeah, well, Mick gave us a list.

[Lily Pargetta]

You're stars. Both of you. What do you mean, not really up?

[Josh Archer]

I just came down for a glass of water. Then I realised I needed a rest before I tackled the stairs again.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, I feel just the same. Josh.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I'm gonna call my mum.

[Josh Archer]

This isn't a hangover, is it?

[Lily Pargetta]

No way.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Nearly reckoned it's something you ate.

[Josh Archer]

Dodgy.

[Lily Pargetta]

Cauliflower cheese, iffy roast beef.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, I thought we'd go to voicemail.

[Zainab]

You're lucky to get me.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Mum, you're on speaker. I've got Lily from work and Josh Archer. You know, they house share. Say hi, guys.

[Josh Archer]

Hello.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hi.

[Zainab]

What's this about?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

They think they've got food poisoning. I've had to bring Lily home from work.

[Zainab]

I see.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

They both seem too ill to come to the surgery, but I wondered if you could give them some advice.

[Zainab]

Well, it's a bit irregular.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Zainab, Please, Mum, they're really poorly.

[Zainab]

All right. Can they hear me?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah.

[Zainab]

And are you okay for me to talk to you both together?

[Josh Archer]

Sure.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah. Fine by me.

[Zainab]

Can you describe your symptoms?

[Josh Archer]

I felt pretty lousy most of the night.

[Lily Pargetta]

Same then. Then this morning, I started having to rush to the loo.

[Josh Archer]

And me?

[Zainab]

Diarrhea, Vomiting?

[Josh Archer]

All of the above.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, me, too. I've got a splitting headache.

[Zainab]

And you, Josh?

[Josh Archer]

Not so much. But I just feel exhausted.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, completely wrung out.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

They think it's something they ate yesterday.

[Zainab]

Well, let's treat the symptoms, shall we? Most important is to keep hydrated. Just water or squash is best.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay.

[Zainab]

Eat when you feel able.

[Josh Archer]

I couldn't face anything yet.

[Zainab]

Yeah, there's no rush on that. When you do, stick to plain food. Nothing fatty or spicy. You can take paracetamol to help with any pain.

[Josh Archer]

Right.

[Zainab]

And stay at home and get plenty of rest.

[Lily Pargetta]

The way I feel, there's no chance of doing anything else.

[Josh Archer]

Ditto.

[Zainab]

Okay, I'm gonna get Ben to drop off a couple of stool sample kits.

[Lily Pargetta]

On his way home. Thank you.

[Zainab]

And is there anyone who can look after You, Paul?

[Josh Archer]

I guess.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

That's Sarah, the housemate.

[Zainab]

And he's alright, is he?

[Lily Pargetta]

He is. In fact, he's annoyingly. Well.

[Alistair]

I think it's fair to say that after the difficult personal circumstances of the previous year, we've all been able to find a way forward where we respect each other professionally.

[Paul]

I hope so.

[Alistair]

I know it was very challenging for you, Paul, understandably. But I'm glad we were able to work through it. And I'm very glad we didn't lose you.

[Paul]

Me too.

[Akram]

Okay.

[Alistair]

Other positive things. Well, we say this every year, but it's worth repeating. Your relationship with clients is exemplary. Very caring, very empathetic.

[Paul]

Thank you.

[Alistair]

Stock control. You and Denise are very diligent about rotating supplies. And the results speak for themselves because we have one of the lowest levels of wastage in the entire firm.

[Paul]

Oh, that's.

[Lily Pargetta]

That's.

[Paul]

That's brilliant, Alistair.

[Alistair]

Yeah, so that's all pretty good. However, there is one major area that really does need addressing. We've spoken about it before, but now it's come to Don and Doug's ears and we can't let it slip any longer.

[Paul]

Okay.

[Alistair]

You may remember when you started at Lovell James, you didn't have a driving license.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Alistair]

But you assured us that you'd soon take your test.

[Paul]

Yes.

[Alistair]

Can you remember when you made that promise? October 2022. You know it causes problems, Paul.

[Paul]

Yes.

[Alistair]

When I had to give you a lift back from Brookfield after Stella's dog had hidden your trainer.

[Paul]

I'm sorry about that.

[Alistair]

Well, to be fair, that was just a minor inconvenience. But when I was called to that road traffic accident last month, when the sheep transporter turned over after leaving Borchester Market.

[Paul]

I remember.

[Alistair]

And I had nowhere near enough supplies with me. But because you couldn't drive, Denise had to come in on a day off. Yes, I know she's your mother, but she's also a colleague and that really was unacceptable.

[Paul]

You're right. It's gone on far too long.

[Alistair]

I agree.

[Paul]

I'll get onto it. I promise.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hello? All right.

[Josh Archer]

All right, keep your shirt on. Hey, Ben. How you doing, bro? Terrible. I won't come in, if that's all right. I don't blame you. Dr. Malik asked me to drop these off. Okay. All right, Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Not really.

[Josh Archer]

The instructions are inside. Thanks. Any improvement since you spoke to her?

[Lily Pargetta]

If anything, I feel worse.

[Josh Archer]

Sorry to hear that. Does anyone else know how you are?

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't think so.

[Josh Archer]

I asked Pip to do the hens for me, but that's it okay? I can't see myself being able to work tomorrow, either. And I've got deliveries. Well, I'll pass the news around the family, including Elizabeth and Freddie.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thanks.

[Josh Archer]

And don't worry about the eggs, Josh.

[Alistair]

We'll see to them somehow.

[Josh Archer]

Thank you.

[Paul]

My, oh, my. Look at you two. Don't tell me you're still hungover.

[Josh Archer]

No, Paul.

[Paul]

Talk about milking it.

[Josh Archer]

No, no, no. Whatever this is, it's not a hangover. We've spoken to the doctor. Oh. They're both gonna need looking after. What?

[Paul]

By me, you mean.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah. Yeah. And you're gonna have to be very careful about hygiene. Oh, no.

[Paul]

Hang on a minute.

[Zainab]

I'm sorry. I was later than I'd hoped.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

No problem.

[Zainab]

It's been a heck of a day, Zainab.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I'm just happy I'm not walking home.

[Zainab]

Your father's still at the practice, beavering away.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I understand.

[Zainab]

How's he doing with the plumbing? It's difficult to tell. He tries to explain it to me, but after the third sentence, my head begins to swim.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I know what you mean, but the.

[Zainab]

Staff love him already. He's definitely in cahoots with Lottie.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Do I know Lottie?

[Zainab]

Yeah, the newest receptionist. Tall woman, black.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, yes. Quite glad.

[Zainab]

That's a but.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

How do you mean, in cahoots?

[Zainab]

This afternoon, she tipped him off that I had an unexpected gap between patients, and as I'd missed lunch, he appeared in my consulting room with a sandwich.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, how thoughtful of him.

[Zainab]

Yeah, it was actually a bit of a Trojan horse.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

How come?

[Zainab]

You remember that email from Cousin Usman?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Of course.

[Zainab]

It's got dad all fired up again about as we relocating to Pakistan.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh. I thought that had gone away.

[Zainab]

Me, too. How would you feel about it?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I don't really know. I mean, I'm not saying I'd absolutely rule it out.

[Zainab]

Okay.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

But it would be a pretty huge change for us all.

[Zainab]

Yeah, it would.

[Josh Archer]

We were wrong about Paul. He hadn't sneaked off early to get out of looking after us. He won't be going to work at all today.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, you're not saying.

[Josh Archer]

Yep.

[Lily Pargetta]

He's got it, too.

[Josh Archer]

If anything, Lily, he's feeling worse than us.

[Lily Pargetta]

It can't have been the booze after all, then.

[Josh Archer]

I knew it wasn't. And, well, it's obviously not food poisoning, either.

[Lily Pargetta]

No. We'd have all come down with it about the same time, wouldn't we?

[Josh Archer]

It's got to be something viral.

[Lily Pargetta]

I'm sorry for slagging off my cauliflower cheese. Yeah, I Owe you an apology, too. That roast was delicious. You're actually pretty nifty in the kitchen, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

Thanks. And seeing as Paul won't be making any toast for us, I'll do some.

[Zainab]

How's it going?

[Akram]

Well, if we put in another long shift, there's a chance we might get it all finished today.

[Zainab]

Really?

[Akram]

No promises?

[Zainab]

No, but that would be wonderful.

[Akram]

Azra.

[Zainab]

Yeah?

[Akram]

You've got a few minutes, haven't you, before your first patient?

[Zainab]

How do you know that?

[Akram]

Lottie told me.

[Zainab]

Honestly, you're like a spymaster.

[Akram]

Hardly.

[Zainab]

Informants everywhere.

[Akram]

Seriously, I haven't been able to stop thinking about a crime.

[Zainab]

Really?

[Akram]

We never seem to discuss it properly.

[Zainab]

We discussed it last night for about two minutes.

[Akram]

I know moving back home isn't really your dream.

[Zainab]

I told you, Pakistan isn't home to me the way it is to you.

[Akram]

But when we married, that was always the understanding.

[Zainab]

That was such a long time ago, though. We're different people now. We've made a life here.

[Akram]

I know, but.

[Zainab]

And it would be such an upheaval. What about the children, their education?

[Akram]

Actually, I think for Khalil, it could be a very good move. There are perfectly good schools in Pakistan. But anyway, he's hardly academic, is he?

[Zainab]

Well, no, maybe not in the conventional sense.

[Akram]

You know how much he loves to be out in the open air, working with animals. Our farm over there. It could be an idyllic life for him.

[Zainab]

Zeynep's hardly the same, though.

[Akram]

No, but she's adaptable. She'll find her way, whatever the environment. And as for upheaval, no offence to her current jobs, but they're hardly her dream career, are they? And if she eventually changes her mind about uni, she could just as easily go to one in Pakistan. She might even get a scholarship.

[Zainab]

Supposing she ever makes up her mind, that is.

[Akram]

And I bet she'd end up with a smaller student loan than she would hear.

[Zainab]

Maybe.

[Akram]

And you know how much they both love being there.

[Zainab]

But Akram visited. Family is very different from uprooting yourself completely.

[Akram]

It's not like this is a new idea.

[Zainab]

I'm not saying it is.

[Akram]

Anyway, I need to get on.

[Zainab]

Yeah, me too.

[Akram]

I never wanted to be a plumber, you know.

[Zainab]

I do.

[Akram]

I just took the trade because it was convenient. It's farming that's in my blood. And I'm not getting any younger if I want to change my career.

[Zainab]

Time is running around a crumb.

[Lily Pargetta]

Don't think I'm not grateful, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

No, no, it's all right.

[Lily Pargetta]

Making that Toast was obviously a major effort.

[Josh Archer]

Just too early.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yep.

[Josh Archer]

We'll stick to the water for the time being, shall we?

[Lily Pargetta]

Definitely.

[Josh Archer]

So, you were saying? What about that job offer? Wedding coordinator?

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes. Yeah, it threw me a bit. I mean, would it be the right job for me? Do I actually want a career at Grey Gables? I'll get it. Oh.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, good.

[Lily Pargetta]

Sorry, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

No, no, it's fine.

[Lily Pargetta]

I will stop pulling my weight.

[Josh Archer]

I know. Don't worry about it. Oh, morning. Is that Leonard underneath that rigmarole? Can I come in? Yeah, sorry. Sorry for looking like something from Porton Down. No, it's very sensible. Ben said if I'm going to call around, I'd better wear the full works.

[Alistair]

Ppe.

[Josh Archer]

Hello, Lily.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hello.

[Josh Archer]

It's just I wondered if you could do with a bit of help.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, possibly Paul's come down with it now as well.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, dear.

[Lily Pargetta]

You're obviously taking a lot of precautions, Leonard, but aren't you still putting yourself at risk?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah. Do you mind if I sit down? Oh, no, not at all. Mum was all for shooting around yesterday, but I told her and dad to stay away, especially as they're looking after the eggs for me. Well, I'm here now, so could I make you a snack? Boiled egg or something? Oh, no, no, thanks. Maybe you could refill our water glasses. Consider it done.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, this is so good of you.

[Josh Archer]

No, no, not at all. Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Kitchen's a bit of a mess.

[Josh Archer]

Understatement. Not to worry. Once I've got you some fresh water, I'll do some washing up, shall I? That'll be awesome.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thank you. I told Mum and Freddie to stay away too.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah, you said.

[Lily Pargetta]

With Deck the Horn. I couldn't help feeling guilty about not being there. It's one of Lower Loxley's busiest times.

[Josh Archer]

It's not your fault you got ill.

[Lily Pargetta]

No, no, I mean running off to Australia. Oh. Oh, right. But then again, why should I hang around when Freddy's the one who's going to inherit the place? I know it's my family home, but really, what loyalty do I owe it?

[Josh Archer]

Here we are.

[Alistair]

Is it just water you want?

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, sorry.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes, plain water's fine.

[Josh Archer]

There you are, then.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thank you so much, Lily.

[Josh Archer]

I couldn't help hearing earlier about you and Lower Loxley.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, yes.

[Josh Archer]

I think you might find Josh feels the same.

[Lily Pargetta]

What about Brookfield Farm?

[Josh Archer]

Inheritances?

[Alistair]

Jill's told me how difficult it can be.

[Lily Pargetta]

I see.

[Josh Archer]

Anyway, I'll crack on with that washing up and. Oh, would you like me to sort the Recycling.

[Lily Pargetta]

Leonard, you are an angel.

[Josh Archer]

No, no, it's no problem. Did I. Did I fall asleep?

[Zainab]

You did.

[Lily Pargetta]

Let's get some water.

[Alistair]

Oh, wonderful.

[Lily Pargetta]

Josh, you know what I was saying about L Oxley?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

Leonard thinks you might feel the same about Brookfield. Is that right?

[Josh Archer]

Well, if I'm honest, yeah, probably. I mean, I help out there as well as running my own business. Mum and dad do involve me in family decisions, but Pip's the golden girl. They're grooming her to take over when the time comes.

[Lily Pargetta]

That does sound horribly familiar.

[Josh Archer]

Maybe it's partly my own fault, branching out so early with the machinery business.

[Lily Pargetta]

You shouldn't be penalized for that, though.

[Josh Archer]

Does make me wonder how things are going to work out long term. In fact, when I heard you were planning to chuck it all in and go down under, it got me thinking of doing the same.

[Lily Pargetta]

What, going to Australia?

[Josh Archer]

No, more like. Sounds a bit silly. Go on. I was wondering about joining Nina and the Straw Crows on their next tour.

[Lily Pargetta]

What, as a groupie?

[Josh Archer]

No. Roadie, maybe. I don't know. Really?

[Lily Pargetta]

That would be a huge change for you. I had no idea you were thinking of chucking in your business, you work so hard at it.

[Josh Archer]

Anyway, it wouldn't be until next year. The way it's looking, I'm not even going to make it to the gig tomorrow night.

[Lily Pargetta]

That's a shame.

[Josh Archer]

But Nina's going to pop in on Thursday.

[Lily Pargetta]

What, here?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

That's nice.

[Josh Archer]

It will be. She can give me some tlc.

[Zainab]

A crumb.

[Akram]

Oh, boom. My back.

[Paul]

Oh.

[Zainab]

Do you need some ibuprofen?

[Akram]

I took some earlier. Whoever decided to install the boiler in here.

[Zainab]

Oh, sorry. It's in a cubby hole and it's been so cold. Someone turned the heating off.

[Akram]

I'll have words with him.

[Zainab]

Yes, you do that.

[Akram]

It's at times like these that the prospect of striding over a field in Rawalpindi seems extremely attractive.

[Zainab]

Look, I. I do get it, you know. I understand what farming means to you. But they do have farms here too, you know.

[Akram]

Of course. But land is so expensive in the uk. What chance would I have here of getting on the farming ladder?

[Zainab]

Well.

[Akram]

And it's not just about the money. Do you think I'd be accepted as a farmer looking like this?

[Zainab]

I don't see why not. People have been very friendly since we moved here.

[Akram]

Some people. But we still get looks in the shop or walking around the village.

[Zainab]

Hardly ever.

[Akram]

We've only got a toehold in Enbridge. The nearest mosque's in Felpership. And even that's got problems.

[Zainab]

Those can be addressed.

[Akram]

That's not the point though. I know you're up was different to mine, but surely you can see it. Pakistan will always be our true home.

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[Akram]

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[Lily Pargetta]

Here's a bit of sky.

[Josh Archer]

You sure, Lily? Looks like sea to me.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh. Oh, yeah, maybe.

[Josh Archer]

Thoughtful of Joy to bring this over, wasn't it? And she did say it was one of her easier ones.

[Lily Pargetta]

I hate to be trying a hard one. Oh, I don't know, Josh. Should we do a bit more of the boat?

[Josh Archer]

Okay.

[Lily Pargetta]

Braver to come around really, considering those silly rumors.

[Josh Archer]

Probably Nathan Booth's idea of a joke saying we've got Ebola.

[Lily Pargetta]

Only Nathan could think a contagious disease is a laughing matter.

[Josh Archer]

We should get some police hazard tape, wind it all around the house.

[Lily Pargetta]

That would get the gossips going.

[Josh Archer]

Beware zombie apocalypse.

[Lily Pargetta]

Actually, that's not so far from the truth.

[Josh Archer]

Looking at Paul, what's not so far from the truth? And here he is, our very own member of the walking dead.

[Paul]

Shut up, you.

[Announcer]

Oh, I feel bad.

[Josh Archer]

We all feel bad, Paul, but you elevate it to an art form.

[Paul]

What do you mean?

[Lily Pargetta]

It's true. You are actually the worst patient ever.

[Paul]

Is that a jigsaw?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah. Joy brought it round, but we've not.

[Lily Pargetta]

Made a lot of progress with it.

[Paul]

I don't know. You've got all the edge pieces done.

[Josh Archer]

No, we've got to face facts. We're just not up to the intense mental and physical demands.

[Lily Pargetta]

Nope.

[Josh Archer]

Telly.

[Lily Pargetta]

Good idea. Right, what shall we watch?

[Paul]

Nothing loud.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah, something gentle.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay.

[Paul]

No car chases.

[Josh Archer]

I'll just message Nina, wish her luck for tonight.

[Lily Pargetta]

Why won't this?

[Josh Archer]

Hometown gig. Big show error.

[Lily Pargetta]

No network connection.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah, I haven't got Wi Fi. Oh, no, I've got 5G.

[Lily Pargetta]

Though I don't say the WI fi has gone down.

[Josh Archer]

Probably just need to reboot the router. Hope it isn't something major. Don't want to miss the football tonight.

[Paul]

Would it be that much of a loss?

[Josh Archer]

What do you mean? Champions League? Real Madrid? Man City.

[Paul]

Josh, for all that means to me, you could be speaking a foreign language.

[Josh Archer]

Heathen.

[Lily Pargetta]

So is someone going to try the router, then?

[Paul]

Sounds a bit technical to me.

[Josh Archer]

I will in a minute.

[Lottie]

What about the heaters?

[Zainab]

The people from Brookfield Farm are coming, I think, David. Oh, of course. You know them, don't you, Lottie?

[Lottie]

Maddie and I have been there loads.

[Zainab]

Yeah, well, they're gonna collect them tomorrow.

[Lottie]

They've been a lifesaver, Ezra.

[Zainab]

Haven't they?

[Lottie]

It's so nice to be getting back to normal. Akram's done an amazing job. Well, ankle.

[Zainab]

Yeah, I thought it would be closer to Friday before they got the heating working again.

[Lottie]

Rhoda's going to give me a hand getting these chairs back to the upstairs waiting room.

[Zainab]

Okay.

[Lottie]

And then I think we'll be ready for the afternoon list.

[Zainab]

Fantastic.

[Lottie]

Ah, just as this emergency is over.

[Zainab]

What?

[Lottie]

Raymond's gone ill. The pharmacy delivery guy.

[Zainab]

Oh, you're kidding me. Lottie? No.

[Lottie]

You think being near all those medicines, he'd be immune, wouldn't you?

[Zainab]

Oh, if only it worked like that.

[Lottie]

And they're really scratching around for a replacement. Because they have to be DBS checked.

[Zainab]

Well, actually, yes. Ockram. Is DBS checked. He had to have it done for some work at Borchester Green School. And it was up to date.

[Lottie]

Isn't he a bit overqualified?

[Zainab]

I'm pretty sure he didn't have anything urgent on after this job. And he does like to keep busy. I could mention it to him.

[Lottie]

At least I know they'd be grateful. The deliveries are piling up.

[Zainab]

Right. Okay.

[Lottie]

Oh, Azra, I've been meaning to say, that advice you gave me about Maddie, the fussy eating, it was really helpful. I just relaxed and didn't make such a big thing of it. And we're already seeing a difference.

[Josh Archer]

Yay.

[Zainab]

I'm pleased. But if you have any other worries, we can always put you in touch with a dietitian.

[Lottie]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. In fact, I was telling Akram you're the best boss I've ever worked for.

[Zainab]

Oh, well, that's very kind of you to say.

[Lottie]

I mean it. It's true.

[Josh Archer]

There you go.

[Paul]

Oh, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

Blanket for the invalid.

[Paul]

You absolutely star.

[Josh Archer]

Knackered.

[Lily Pargetta]

Now, Paul was just saying about his appraisal.

[Paul]

Yeah, it completely blindsided me.

[Josh Archer]

This about you not driving?

[Paul]

Yeah. And then Alistair basically said if I don't pass my test, they're going to fire me.

[Lily Pargetta]

Basically said or actually said?

[Paul]

Well, as good as the big bosses are on the case now, so there's no hiding place.

[Josh Archer]

I don't see the problem. Get some lessons, Pass your test, Join the rest of society.

[Paul]

Well, it's. It's not as simple as that, though.

[Josh Archer]

Why not?

[Paul]

Well, I've. I've got a bit of a thing about driving tests.

[Lily Pargetta]

How big a thing?

[Paul]

Jumbo. Economy size. With added bonus extras.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay. I have a feeling there may be a story attached to this.

[Paul]

You could say that.

[Josh Archer]

So.

[Paul]

No, I. You don't want to hear it.

[Josh Archer]

We really do.

[Lily Pargetta]

It's not like we've got anything else on.

[Paul]

Okay. But just between us, right?

[Lily Pargetta]

Obviously.

[Paul]

Okay. So Mum and Dad bought me driving lessons for my 18th birthday.

[Josh Archer]

Standard.

[Paul]

And of course I assumed I'd sail through the test, but I. I didn't.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, most people don't pass. First time I did. Okay. Not helping, Josh.

[Paul]

Well, the thing is, I. I didn't pass my second test either. Or my third.

[Josh Archer]

So what did you fail on?

[Paul]

You name it. Wrong way round, a mini roundabout, driving with full beams on, calling a pedestrian a tosser. Walked right out in front of me. I couldn't help myself.

[Josh Archer]

Properly. Fair.

[Paul]

One time I actually thought I'd done pretty well, but at the end, I parked on double yellow. Then there was the time I couldn't remember Where I'd parked the car.

[Josh Archer]

This is priceless.

[Lily Pargetta]

Josh, stop it.

[Paul]

By the end, I'd got in such a state I barely knew how the gears worked.

[Lily Pargetta]

So how many tests have you failed altogether? Seven. Seven.

[Paul]

I just gave up after that.

[Josh Archer]

I'm not surprised.

[Paul]

I assumed I'd always be a non driver. It wasn't a problem at the practice in reading. All small animals, all local.

[Lily Pargetta]

But then you applied to Lovel James.

[Paul]

I was so keen to get the job. When they asked me, I just blurted out that I'd get my license. I never thought they'd hold me to it.

[Lily Pargetta]

Bit optimistic.

[Paul]

The idea of getting back behind the wheel of a car. It just gives me the heebie jeebies.

[Lily Pargetta]

Who's that?

[Josh Archer]

It's Mum.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh.

[Josh Archer]

Just wondering how we are.

[Lily Pargetta]

Not Nina then?

[Josh Archer]

No. Well, they're probably busy with the get in.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hi.

[Announcer]

Alan Franks. I meant to have a 4:30 appointment with Dr. Malik, but I'm afraid I'm a few minutes late.

[Lottie]

Don't Worry about it, Mr. Franks. Dr. Malik's running a little bit behind anyway.

[Announcer]

Oh, that's a relief.

[Lottie]

Just take a seat.

[Zainab]

She'll be with you soon.

[Announcer]

Thank you. I hope you don't mind my asking, but.

[Lottie]

Lottie.

[Announcer]

Lottie. The gentleman who was in the queue before me. It was Lawrence Harrington, wasn't it?

[Zainab]

Yes.

[Announcer]

Because I couldn't help noticing that. Well, I didn't really think his manner towards you was very appropriate. Are you all right?

[Lottie]

Oh, thank you for asking, but yes, please don't worry about me.

[Announcer]

Well, if you're sure.

[Lottie]

Mr. Harrington seems perfectly fine with the other receptionist. If he wants to take that attitude of me, then that's his business.

[Announcer]

What, you mean you think he was like that because of. Well, because of your colour?

[Lottie]

Welcome to my world.

[Akram]

Oh, Lord.

[Zainab]

Alan Franks.

[Announcer]

So that's it, really?

[Zainab]

Has there been any change in your mood?

[Announcer]

No, no, just this tiredness. It's very inconvenient not to be running at 100. Advent's just about my busiest time.

[Zainab]

I expect you're a busy man most of the year.

[Announcer]

Well, yes, I know I can't expect to have the energy of youth, but when you're used to being so active.

[Zainab]

I understand, Alan. Right. I see we did call you in for a routine health check when you turned 60, but it doesn't look like you took it up.

[Announcer]

No, sorry, Asra.

[Alistair]

Guilty.

[Zainab]

Well, we'll just get some basic details now and then we can make you an appointment to have some bloods taken.

[Akram]

Okay.

[Zainab]

So if you'd like to slip off Your shoes.

[Alistair]

Right.

[Zainab]

We'll get your height first. Right, you are just over here.

[Announcer]

Yep.

[Zainab]

There we are.

[Announcer]

I was at an event last week. Felpersham Interfaith Network. I was talking to Munir, the imam.

[Zainab]

Oh, yes.

[Announcer]

Back to the water, please.

[Zainab]

Yes.

[Announcer]

Yeah. He was saying you're having some structural issues with the mosque.

[Zainab]

Yes. Yes, we are. 178. There you go.

[Announcer]

Thank you.

[Zainab]

I don't know if you know it, but it's not what people usually expect when they think of a mosque with a minaret and a dome and so on.

[Announcer]

No, I've visited.

[Zainab]

Just keep as still as you can.

[Announcer]

It's actually a terraced house, isn't it? Monir was saying it draws a cliff. A couple of dozen worshipers, though, from quite a wide area.

[Zainab]

That's right. They've been patching up the roof. Well, certainly since I moved here.

[Announcer]

Yeah, but you can only patch for so long.

[Zainab]

Precisely. You're 78 kilos.

[Lily Pargetta]

All right.

[Announcer]

I'd like to work that out in old money.

[Zainab]

The time has come when it needs a proper re.

[Lily Pargetta]

Roofing.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Zainab]

So, while that's being done, it looks like we'll be traveling to Birmingham for jama.

[Announcer]

That's the Friday prayers. I know. Not very convenient.

[Zainab]

Convenient for you, no, but it won't be forever.

[Lily Pargetta]

So, when did you message Nina?

[Josh Archer]

Oh, I don't know, about one.

[Lily Pargetta]

And she still hasn't replied.

[Paul]

That's not great, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

Well, you know, gig days are busy days travel.

[Lily Pargetta]

It's a hometown.

[Josh Archer]

Get in, sound check. There's a lot to do.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay, Fair enough. She's your girlfriend.

[Josh Archer]

She is, theoretically.

[Lily Pargetta]

What was that anyway?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Poor Paul.

[Lily Pargetta]

I've been thinking about your driving dilemma.

[Paul]

That makes two of us.

[Lily Pargetta]

If you absolutely have to pass your test to keep your job, maybe I could give you lessons.

[Paul]

Yeah, well, it's not lessons I need, it's therapy. Anyway, you're going to be in Australia, Lily.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, yes, of course. Silly me.

[Paul]

So it'd be tricky.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah. No. Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

[Zainab]

Well, your blood pressure's normal and it's all right to talk now.

[Announcer]

I'm sorry, Azra, I do tend to rabbit on.

[Zainab]

No, no, it's fine. What was it you were saying?

[Announcer]

Well, I was just thinking about your Friday prayers. While the roofing work's being done on the mosque, maybe you could relocate Jummer to Ambridge.

[Zainab]

What, to your church?

[Announcer]

Well, I think that might be tricky, but, no, no, I was thinking about the village hall. I mean, if that worked for your fellow worshippers of Course I could ask.

[Zainab]

Gosh, that's. That's a really kind offer, Alan.

[Announcer]

Well, if you think it's worth pursuing, I'll float the possibility with the committee.

[Zainab]

And I'll mention it to the Imam.

[Announcer]

And of course, even if they can find somewhere closer to home, I'm sure your family would always be welcome to carry out your regular prayers there. It'd save a trek to Birmingham.

[Lottie]

Thank you.

[Zainab]

I'm. I'm actually quite touched by that.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well.

[Zainab]

And I know someone who'll find the offer quite astonishing.

[Announcer]

Oh, who's that?

[Zainab]

My husband.

[Josh Archer]

So, yeah, sorry I can't be there. Hope it goes well. Yeah. Love you.

[Lily Pargetta]

She sent it to voicemail, then?

[Josh Archer]

She didn't send it to voicemail, it just went to voicemail.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay.

[Josh Archer]

Probably just a bad time to ring. Expect she's getting in the zone, doing her warm ups.

[Paul]

Yeah, that'll be it.

[Josh Archer]

Doesn't matter. We'll have a good catch up tomorrow.

[Lily Pargetta]

You're not still thinking of funding their next album, are you?

[Josh Archer]

Of course.

[Paul]

Really, Josh?

[Josh Archer]

Nothing's changed, has it?

[Zainab]

Apart from home.

[Josh Archer]

I think we all need a bit more water, don't we? Gotta stay hydrated.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, Paul. Isn't it sad?

[Paul]

I know. How can he not see it?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

It's a bit random, isn't it, Mum?

[Zainab]

Sorry, what were you saying, dad?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Delivering prescriptions. Where did that come from?

[Zainab]

Well, yeah, it's rather out of the blue, but the pharmacy was in a hole and he was available, so.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Acromanic to the rescue.

[Zainab]

You know how he likes to keep occupied.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

At least I don't need a lift to work anymore.

[Zainab]

No.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Greg Abels is getting busier now. Lots of Christmas party bookings. Oh, has Khalil said about Deck the Hall?

[Lily Pargetta]

What?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

You know the thing at Lower Locksley. Sounds really magical. They light up the grounds, that sort of thing. There's a trail through the woods. Ben was waxing lyrical about it.

[Zainab]

Sorry, is it in a.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

They have food stalls and a skating rink and. Well, lots of other stuff. I can show you online now.

[Zainab]

There's no need. Elizabeth told me all about it when she showed me around. The place does sound really lovely.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, the point is, it sounds like it'd be nice for all of us to go family outing.

[Zainab]

Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, no, it sounds really good. When we're all together. Let's. Let's see if we can find a time.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Are you all right, Mum?

[Zainab]

Yeah, no, I'm sorry. It's just been a really difficult week.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, the heating's done again, isn't It.

[Zainab]

Yeah. That's a relief, saying I. But no sooner we're back to normal than something else comes up.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Like what?

[Zainab]

The partners are talking about a. What do they call it? Widening patient contact opportunities.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

And what does that mean?

[Zainab]

Basically extending the surgery hours.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What?

[Zainab]

Opening in the evenings? Maybe.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

No way.

[Zainab]

Not every day, but. I don't know. Two evenings a week, you're already working.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Yourself into the ground.

[Zainab]

It does feel that way sometimes.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

And I bet you wouldn't be paid overtime.

[Zainab]

Of course not. We just have to hope to be able to get time off in lieu.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

And how likely is that?

[Zainab]

Well, let's not meet trouble halfway. It's only a consultation at the moment. It might not happen.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

You need to tell them where to get off.

[Zainab]

Don't worry. I'll make my feelings come clear.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

You can't get blood out of stone.

[Zainab]

Hello?

[Lottie]

Lottie, I'm really sorry to call you so early.

[Zainab]

No, no, go on.

[Lottie]

It's Dr. Lang. He's phoned in sick.

[Zainab]

What?

[Lottie]

I'm so sorry. Janet's doing her best to find cover.

[Zainab]

A locum for the locum, but she.

[Lottie]

Says it'll probably be tomorrow at the earliest. Do you want me to cancel all his appointments?

[Zainab]

No, no, don't do that. Then just see if you can divide them between me and Dr. Cartwright.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay?

[Zainab]

Yeah. We'll just have to get through them best we can. Thanks for the heads up.

[Lottie]

You're welcome.

[Zainab]

I'll be in as soon as.

[Lottie]

Okay. See you then.

[Josh Archer]

Won't be long.

[Lily Pargetta]

Really, Josh, no rush.

[Josh Archer]

These sachets of rice only take two minutes.

[Lily Pargetta]

I know. I use them a lot. I've never got the hang of cooking rice properly. Me neither. Is Paul coming down?

[Josh Archer]

Unlikely. He said all that talking yesterday exhausted him.

[Lily Pargetta]

What, lounging on the sofa and moaning?

[Josh Archer]

Here's a day behind us, Lily. I guess. I don't think I could have faced anything yesterday.

[Lily Pargetta]

Maybe not, but now we know who's the real lightweight in the house.

[Josh Archer]

Plates.

[Lily Pargetta]

Ah, here you are.

[Josh Archer]

Right.

[Lily Pargetta]

Mind esteem.

[Josh Archer]

Some for you and some for me, thanks. Not very appetizing, I know. Half a plate of plain white rice?

[Lily Pargetta]

No, but we're going to try to eat something. We definitely want to start with this.

[Josh Archer]

Right. I'm going in. And you.

[Lily Pargetta]

Okay. Okay.

[Josh Archer]

This is a joint experiment.

[Lily Pargetta]

Here goes.

[Lottie]

So could you chase imaging at Borchester General?

[Zainab]

No, she had the ultrasound at Felpisham Royal. I think that's where the computer confusion started.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Okay.

[Zainab]

It meant her appointment was a complete waste of time, I'm afraid.

[Lottie]

Sorry.

[Zainab]

It's not your fault. Lottie. Of course, it didn't stop her giving me her complete life story. Oh, dear. So who's next?

[Lottie]

Lulu Duxford.

[Josh Archer]

Oh.

[Zainab]

What time was her appointment for?

[Lottie]

10:05.

[Zainab]

Nearly an hour behind. Now, Azra, before you go. Yep?

[Lottie]

Test results have come in for two patients, Lily Pargetta and Josh Archer.

[Zainab]

And?

[Lottie]

Confirmed norovirus.

[Zainab]

I thought so.

[Lottie]

Shall I ring them?

[Zainab]

Yes, please. Okay. Ms. Duxford, I'm sorry you've been kept waiting so long.

[Lottie]

Next, please.

[Alistair]

Lawrence Harrington, 11 o'.

[Lily Pargetta]

Clock.

[Alistair]

Dr. Lang.

[Lottie]

Mr. Harrington. Yes, that's fine. Dr. Lang's unfortunately indisposed today. You'll be seen by Dr. Malik, but I'm afraid appointments are running.

[Akram]

Dr. Malik?

[Lottie]

Yes.

[Alistair]

The person you were just talking to?

[Lottie]

Yes. As I say, we are.

[Josh Archer]

No, I'm sorry.

[Zainab]

Pardon?

[Alistair]

That's not acceptable.

[Lily Pargetta]

How are you feeling?

[Josh Archer]

Actually? Okay. I mean, I'm still as weak as a kitten, but. Yeah. And the rice has stayed exactly where it should.

[Lily Pargetta]

Me too. Do you think we've turned the corner?

[Josh Archer]

Better than that. We've turned the corner and we're halfway up the home straight.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, I do hope so, Josh.

[Josh Archer]

I can't say the same for Paul.

[Lily Pargetta]

Though it's not surprising.

[Josh Archer]

I offered him some of the rice, but he just pulled the duvet over his head.

[Lily Pargetta]

Aw. He'll start to get better soon.

[Josh Archer]

I expect so. This is just in time for you, isn't it? What do you mean, getting better? Looks like you should be okay to fly next week after all.

[Lily Pargetta]

Ah.

[Josh Archer]

Ah. Not. Yes, Josh. That's a great relief.

[Lily Pargetta]

Lily, don't get me wrong. Obviously being ill has been horrible.

[Josh Archer]

Can't disagree with that.

[Lily Pargetta]

But in a strange way, I've been wondering if it's. Oh, you know I don't believe in fate or the universe. Trying to tell me something?

[Josh Archer]

No. We'll leave that sort of thing to Kate.

[Lily Pargetta]

But when I was thinking I might have to delay the flight, maybe cancel it altogether, I didn't hate the idea.

[Josh Archer]

Okay.

[Lily Pargetta]

Which made me think, do I really want to do this trip? Or at least do I want to do it the way I've been planning? I mean, I'd still really like to see Kya.

[Josh Archer]

This is the woman who lives in Perth now?

[Lily Pargetta]

That's her. She's the only person from Uni Manchester that I'm still in touch with. And it's such a good opportunity to meet up again, but. I don't know, a year away from home. It's a long time, isn't it?

[Josh Archer]

It is.

[Lily Pargetta]

Am I partly doing it just to put Two fingers up to Mum and Freddy.

[Josh Archer]

So long, suckers.

[Lily Pargetta]

When you said about setting up on your own and how that maybe put you out of the running at Brookfield, it got me thinking.

[Josh Archer]

Sorry about that.

[Lily Pargetta]

And then there's Mason. Yes, you're right. I don't really know him that well. If I'm totally honest, I might have been burying my gut feelings about him. I found out last week he'd barely scraped a third. I wonder if he's maybe running away from, you know, disappointed parents.

[Josh Archer]

Wouldn't surprise me.

[Lily Pargetta]

I mean, is that really the sort of person I want as a guide to a whole new country? Have I been just pushing myself through all of the doubts?

[Josh Archer]

But haven't you got accommodation booked?

[Lily Pargetta]

Not really. Mason said we could stay with some mates of his, but I'm not sure that's a firm arrangement, so. Oh, I don't know. It's such a mess. I don't know what I think, really. Is it Nina?

[Josh Archer]

Yes.

[Lily Pargetta]

Is she on her way?

[Josh Archer]

No, not yet.

[Lily Pargetta]

What does it say?

[Josh Archer]

We had a bit of a heavy one after the gig. See you this afternoon.

[Alistair]

It's bad enough I've had to come here two days running.

[Lottie]

I'm sorry, I can't help that.

[Alistair]

But if Dr. Lang isn't available, why can't I be sick? Seen by the other doctor?

[Lottie]

Dr. Cartwright?

[Josh Archer]

Yes.

[Lottie]

That would be difficult, I'm afraid, but not impossible. I'm sure it's just the way Dr. Lang's appointments have been shared out.

[Alistair]

Well, that's your problem, not mine.

[Lottie]

We are trying to do our best under difficult circumstances.

[Alistair]

I know my rights, Miss him.

[Lottie]

There are lots of patients waiting, so.

[Alistair]

Let'S just cut all this shilly shallying.

[Lottie]

If you do want to see Dr. Cartwright, I could make a fresh appointment, but it would be for late. Next week at the earliest.

[Zainab]

Lottie, I need a. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Alistair]

No, that's out of the question. I want to speak to your superior, please.

[Lottie]

I can get the practice manager clearly completely incompetent. She'll say the same thing as me.

[Alistair]

No need to ask how you got this job.

[Lottie]

What did you say?

[Zainab]

Is something wrong?

[Alistair]

I want to speak to this girl's direct manager.

[Zainab]

Can I help?

[Alistair]

No. And kindly keep out of it.

[Zainab]

If you could just moderate your voice.

[Alistair]

Oh, don't you tell me what to do.

[Zainab]

Disturbing the other patient.

[Alistair]

I'm not the problem here. You're the problem here.

[Zainab]

This really isn't acceptable. Acceptable?

[Alistair]

You and this. This.

[Zainab]

Mr. Harrington, are you all right?

[Josh Archer]

Oh, God.

[Zainab]

Jam it. Get the oxygen. The Reese, Pack and the defibrillator. L. Call an ambulance. What's his name? Harrington.

[Lottie]

Lawrence Harrington.

[Zainab]

Mr. Harrington, I need to loosen your tie. Please stay in your seats, everyone.

[Josh Archer]

Keep your hands off me.

[Zainab]

They're having difficulty. Look, we need to help you to breathe. He's losing consciousness. Where's that oxygen?

[Lily Pargetta]

You're dropping crumbs.

[Josh Archer]

So are you.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No, I'm not.

[Lily Pargetta]

I'm catching them on a plate. Well, most of them.

[Josh Archer]

What time is it, Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Nearly six.

[Josh Archer]

Right.

[Lily Pargetta]

Josh, I know musicians keep different time from us civilians, but surely it's not this afternoon anymore.

[Josh Archer]

I hear you.

[Lily Pargetta]

I don't think Nina's gonna turn up.

[Josh Archer]

No.

[Lily Pargetta]

Still, look on the bright side.

[Josh Archer]

There's a bright side?

[Lily Pargetta]

We did manage to finish Joy's jigsaw.

[Josh Archer]

Oh, yeah. Monumental achievement. Tomorrow we climb Everest.

[Lily Pargetta]

Do you want a cup of tea?

[Josh Archer]

Mind the.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh. Oops.

[Josh Archer]

Crackers.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, this place looks dreadful, doesn't it?

[Josh Archer]

Even worse than before, which I wouldn't have thought was possible.

[Lily Pargetta]

Shula can't possibly see it like this.

[Josh Archer]

No, but do you feel up to a mass tidy?

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, not in the slightest.

[Josh Archer]

Me neither, let alone a cleaning blitz.

[Lily Pargetta]

Mum?

[Zainab]

Yes, it's me. Sorry I'm late. Have you eaten?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Yeah. Dad cooked.

[Zainab]

Oh, good.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Yours is in the oven.

[Zainab]

I think I'm past hunger at the moment, but thank you.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, no offense, Mom. Well, you look awful. Are you all right?

[Zainab]

To be honest, I feel completely wrung out.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Well, dad said everyone at time the same surgery was buzzing with what you did.

[Zainab]

What I did?

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

The man who collapsed and you were a total hero.

[Zainab]

That's really overstating it, Zainab.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

What happened then?

[Zainab]

Patient had trouble breathing. I think probably because of an underlying heart issue. He had got very agitated.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Really?

[Zainab]

In fact, he was being horrible to Lottie. It was only afterwards that I realized who he was.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Who?

[Zainab]

I should have remembered him from the cricket. That Batman Lawrence that you all had that trouble with.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

No.

[Zainab]

Which also explained his behavior. I don't think Lottie and I were his sort of people.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

No.

[Zainab]

I bet he certainly didn't want me to treat him.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

That's wild. How is he?

[Lily Pargetta]

Do you know?

[Zainab]

Well, by the time the paramedics arrived, he'd lost consciousness.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh.

[Zainab]

And I'm afraid he went into cardiac arrest in the ambulance. I shouldn't really be telling you all this.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I won't say anything.

[Zainab]

The last I heard, he was in intensive care and could go either way.

[Lily Pargetta]

Whoa.

[Zainab]

He didn't make it easy for me. But honestly, Zainab, I did everything I could for him.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

I know you did, Mum. And I bet no doctor could have done more. I just hope he's grateful.

[Zainab]

Who knows what that sort of person thinks?

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, I'm shattered.

[Zainab's child (possibly Zeynep or a sibling)]

Oh, poor you.

[Zainab]

You know, as I was driving home, I was wondering.

[Lily Pargetta]

What?

[Zainab]

Whether your father's right. Perhaps we would all be better off in Pakistan.

[Lily Pargetta]

How are you doing with those noodles?

[Paul]

Okay so far.

[Josh Archer]

You don't have to eat them all.

[Paul]

I know.

[Josh Archer]

Just a little at a time. That's what we found, didn't we, Lily?

[Lily Pargetta]

Definitely. But once I did start to get some food inside me, and it stayed inside, I really began to feel better.

[Josh Archer]

Me, too.

[Zainab]

Right.

[Josh Archer]

There you go.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thanks, Josh. And this morning, we actually had our first proper breakfast since.

[Josh Archer]

Since Sunday, wasn't it?

[Paul]

I think that's probably enough for now.

[Josh Archer]

No sweat, Paul. See how you do. And then you can always have some more.

[Lily Pargetta]

So.

[Paul]

So what's been happening? How did Nina's visit go? Well, I didn't hear her, but. What?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, actually, she didn't turn up.

[Paul]

Not at all?

[Josh Archer]

No.

[Paul]

Even though she knew you'd been ill and how much it would have meant to you?

[Josh Archer]

Something like that.

[Paul]

And this is the woman you're talking about going into debt for?

[Josh Archer]

Well, I've been thinking about that.

[Paul]

So she can record an album.

[Josh Archer]

Thinking pretty hard, actually.

[Lily Pargetta]

About time.

[Josh Archer]

The thing with Nina, she's. I don't know, I guess. I guess the only word is captivating.

[Lily Pargetta]

She certainly captivated you.

[Josh Archer]

She's got something about her that I've never seen in any other woman. When she's on stage, it's magical.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah, I'm sure that's true, but, Josh, you're talking like a fan.

[Paul]

Yeah. You're meant to be more to her than that.

[Josh Archer]

You're right. And. And if I'm her boyfriend, then I deserve more than, well, what she's been.

[Paul]

Giving me, which is just a pile of grief as far as I can see.

[Josh Archer]

So, yeah, yeah, I've. I've given up on any idea of bankrolling the band or trailing round after them on tour.

[Lily Pargetta]

I am so relieved to hear that.

[Paul]

Me too, man.

[Josh Archer]

Either she steps up and starts to behave like a proper girlfriend, giving as.

[Lily Pargetta]

Much as she gets.

[Josh Archer]

Exactly. Or I walk.

[Paul]

That's my boy.

[Josh Archer]

I'm gonna see her and lay it on the line.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well done, Josh. We've been. I'm so worried about you.

[Josh Archer]

I know. It's taken me a long time.

[Paul]

Better late than never.

[Josh Archer]

But I feel better for making the decision.

[Paul]

Do you know, it's actually made me feel a bit better, too.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, I've got some news you'll probably be pleased with too.

[Paul]

Oh, Bring it on, Dr. Pargetta.

[Lily Pargetta]

I'm changing my plans for Australia.

[Paul]

Please tell me you're binning off Mason the Muppet.

[Lily Pargetta]

I am, yes. And I've decided that a year's two much time to be away.

[Josh Archer]

So how long are you thinking?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, not quite sure yet, but more like a few weeks. A month maybe.

[Paul]

So will that mean we don't have to look for a new tenant?

[Lily Pargetta]

It does.

[Josh Archer]

Awesome.

[Paul]

And awesome to still have you as a housemate.

[Lily Pargetta]

Of course. Thank you.

[Josh Archer]

So, if you're not doing the Mason.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thing, I'm still going to see Kyra in Perth. She's really excited about it. Cool. And then I'll have some time traveling on my own.

[Paul]

That sounds like a really good plan, Lily.

[Lily Pargetta]

And when I get back, who knows, maybe that wedding job will still be available. I'm gonna talk to Dane.

[Paul]

Ah, well, I bet he'll keep it open.

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, we'll see.

[Paul]

So what changed your mind?

[Lily Pargetta]

What Josh said had a lot to do with it. Me? It would have been running away a bit.

[Josh Archer]

I'm really pleased for you, Lily.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thanks. But as I'm staying here.

[Paul]

Yes?

[Lily Pargetta]

It means I'm now very keen not to be thrown out by the landlord.

[Paul]

Ah, yes.

[Lily Pargetta]

Who is visiting tomorrow?

[Paul]

I hadn't forgotten.

[Josh Archer]

Nor me.

[Lily Pargetta]

If this was my house and I found it in this state, I'd evict the lot of us. I know, but I. I'm sorry, we can't afford buts now. I'm still pretty weak. However, I had a shower this morning and it really helped. So why don't you two follow my excellent example and then we'll see what we can do to the place.

[Josh Archer]

She's right, Paul.

[Paul]

I know. That's what makes it so awful.

[Josh Archer]

I'll go first, shall I?

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, that's good.

[Paul]

Ah, there you are, Lily.

[Josh Archer]

We thought you'd run away after all.

[Lily Pargetta]

No, I'm just enjoying the air. I been outside all week. No. Are you showered then?

[Josh Archer]

Yeah, all fresh now.

[Paul]

Squeaky clean.

[Lily Pargetta]

Right, let's get on with it. So, how are we going to approach this?

[Josh Archer]

What do you mean?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, there's three of us and three downstairs rooms and the loo and the hall. Well, yes. All right. Five areas.

[Paul]

Oh, I'll go.

[Josh Archer]

Thanks, Paul, but the kitchen is the worst bit.

[Lily Pargetta]

The sitting room's looking pretty. Pretty awful too.

[Josh Archer]

Yeah, but in here it's going to take the most cleaning.

[Lily Pargetta]

Oh, hold on, Josh. We can't even start to think about the cleaning until we've had a really good tidy.

[Josh Archer]

It's enough to give me a relapse.

[Lily Pargetta]

I know what you mean. But we haven't got any alternative, have we?

[Josh Archer]

No, I get it. I'm just not sure I'm up to the planning, let alone doing the actual work.

[Lily Pargetta]

So, what do you think? Allocate a room each or all concentrate on one room at a time?

[Josh Archer]

Hello, you two.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hello, Leonard.

[Josh Archer]

Well, I must say, it's good to see you all vertical.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yes.

[Josh Archer]

Very different from the last time I was here. Yeah, we're all on the mend now.

[Lily Pargetta]

Even Paul.

[Josh Archer]

So I'd heard. And I'm very pleased to see the proof. I've come with a suggestion for your recovery, actually. Sounds promising. It's such a beautiful day. What you all need now is a breath of fresh air.

[Lily Pargetta]

I was just doing that in the garden.

[Josh Archer]

But we've got a lot of cleaning and tidying to do.

[Lily Pargetta]

Yeah. Shoelace tomorrow.

[Alistair]

I know.

[Josh Archer]

You said.

[Paul]

Well, it's all a bit daunting, to be honest.

[Alistair]

That's my point.

[Josh Archer]

You'll make a much better fist of it if you come at it properly refreshed.

[Lily Pargetta]

Hmm. I can see the sense in that. I only spent five minutes outside, and it did me the world of good.

[Josh Archer]

Well, think how much better you'd feel if you took an hour.

[Paul]

Well, I wouldn't mind a bit of a walk, actually, as long as it was slow.

[Josh Archer]

We can be slow.

[Paul]

Where shall we go, though?

[Lily Pargetta]

Well, actually, today's my birthday. Oh.

[Paul]

Oh, no.

[Josh Archer]

Well, happy birthday.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thank you.

[Paul]

No, Lily, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot.

[Josh Archer]

Me, too.

[Lily Pargetta]

Don't worry about it. The week we've had.

[Paul]

Well, yeah.

[Lily Pargetta]

So, why don't we have a little stroll and end up at the ball?

[Akram]

You're looking cozy.

[Zainab]

The wonders of a day off. You've been a long time.

[Akram]

On my way back from the shop, I saw those three who'd been ill. Ben's brother Lily, who Zainab works with, and, you know, from the vets.

[Zainab]

Paul. They're up and out and about then?

[Akram]

Not just that. They were thinking of going to the pub, so they're obviously feeling better.

[Zainab]

That's good.

[Akram]

They asked me to pass on their thanks to you for the advice you gave them.

[Zainab]

That was just routine.

[Akram]

They were so grateful, though. You really set them on the right track.

[Josh Archer]

Happy birthday.

[Paul]

Yes. Many happy returns, Lily.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thank you.

[Josh Archer]

First time I've ever toasted someone with lemonade.

[Lily Pargetta]

It's the thought that counts. Yeah. So, Paul, when I get back, I can give you driving Lessons, after all.

[Josh Archer]

Really? I'm not sure that's a good idea.

[Lily Pargetta]

Why not?

[Josh Archer]

No offence, Lily, but you aren't the most patient person. The cheek. And if Paul has this phobia.

[Paul]

Actually, that won't be necessary. While I've been laid up, I been doing some research.

[Josh Archer]

Into what?

[Paul]

Well, there's a driving instructor in Hollerton who specialises in nervous students. She's actually a qualified hypnotherapist, too. So you have sessions at her home for, like, your nerves. And that works hand in hand with the driving lessons.

[Josh Archer]

Amazing.

[Lily Pargetta]

Are you going to give it a go?

[Paul]

Well, I think I've got to, haven't I?

[Josh Archer]

Well done, you.

[Paul]

And there's something else I wanted to say. Josh. I've been feeling guilty about the hard time I gave you.

[Josh Archer]

Hard time last Sunday.

[Paul]

You might not be the tidiest bloke, but you've been an absolute legend this week.

[Lily Pargetta]

I agree. Maybe you should retrain as a nurse, like Ben.

[Josh Archer]

I think that would be going a bit too far, but thanks.

[Lily Pargetta]

No, thank you.

[Zainab]

Akram?

[Akram]

Yes?

[Zainab]

Are you all right?

[Akram]

Of course.

[Zainab]

It's just you seem very subdued after what I said last night about maybe going back to Pakistan. After all, I. I thought you'd be celebrating. Well, although now I come to think of it, you didn't say much about it last night either.

[Akram]

No, I've been thinking. That's why I was so long at the shop.

[Zainab]

I did wonder.

[Akram]

I came the long way home.

[Zainab]

And what have you been thinking?

[Akram]

I've seen a lot in the last few days, Azra. Don't laugh, but I'm not sure about moving back anymore.

[Lily Pargetta]

Really?

[Akram]

I realised I'd been very focused on me. I've wanted it for so long. I've never really questioned the idea, but when I really think about what's most important to me, it's my family, their happiness.

[Zainab]

Yeah, Me too.

[Akram]

The children have good friends here. And I'm amazed at how much you have become part of the village.

[Zainab]

I do feel at home here in.

[Akram]

A short space of time.

[Zainab]

It's two years.

[Akram]

You've made such a contribution to the community.

[Zainab]

So have you.

[Akram]

I don't mean fates and things. You probably saved someone's life yesterday.

[Zainab]

Well, we'll see.

[Akram]

Despite what it cost you personally, with me being at the surgery, I saw at first hand how committed you are to this practice. I don't mind admitting I found it quite humbling.

[Zainab]

Oh, Akram.

[Akram]

It's the sort of thing you don't want to turn your back on.

[Zainab]

So, what are you saying?

[Akram]

Don't get me wrong, I know things aren't perfect. Plenty of bad things happen and work's always going to be challenging. But that's true of anywhere, isn't it?

[Lily Pargetta]

It is.

[Akram]

The grass isn't always greener.

[Lottie]

Although.

[Zainab]

What about your farming ambitions?

[Akram]

Oh, I don't know. Maybe that was always a pipe dream. If I want to get my fix of the outdoors, perhaps I could take on another allotment or something.

[Zainab]

Okay.

[Akram]

Unless you really want to go now.

[Zainab]

No, no, not if I'm honest. I. I think I was just overreacting to a bad week. So, yes, this is going to take a little getting used to.

[Josh Archer]

Was there something in that lemonade?

[Paul]

What the earth's happened to the place?

[Lily Pargetta]

And what's that noise upstairs?

[Josh Archer]

Hello again.

[Paul]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Archer]

Leonard, you crafty thing.

[Paul]

We thought a miracle had happened, but.

[Josh Archer]

It was you and Joy. She's upstairs finishing off.

[Alistair]

It was actually her idea.

[Zainab]

It's spotless and so tidy.

[Josh Archer]

We did have to guess where a lot of things belonged to.

[Paul]

Oh, don't worry about that.

[Josh Archer]

But at least it's ready for Shula now.

[Lily Pargetta]

I could cry.

[Josh Archer]

I could cry.

[Lily Pargetta]

Thank you so much.

[Josh Archer]

You're very welcome.

[Lily Pargetta]

And we promise we'll do our best to keep it this way, won't we?

[Paul]

Absolutely.

[Josh Archer]

100%.

[Zainab]

Right. We better get ready for mosque.

[Akram]

Okay. That's right. Then. When we come back, I've got a suggestion.

[Zainab]

What for?

[Akram]

Those three youngsters said there's going to be a big Christmas light switch on all around the village green. Why don't we go?

[Zainab]

You and me.

[Akram]

Khalil too, if he wants. There'll be a band and refreshments.

[Zainab]

Akram.

[Akram]

I know. I just feel you and the children belong in Ambridge now. Which means that I do.

[Lily Pargetta]

Sam.

[Josh Archer]

Hello.

[Alistair]

I'm Sean Farrington, presenter of the BBC.

[Paul]

Radio 4 series Toast, which looks at amazing brands that promised a lot, yet somehow ended up Toast.

[Josh Archer]

We're back with another series.

[Alistair]

Kicking off with a treat.

[Josh Archer]

Sir Stephen Fry on his disappointment when.

[Paul]

The BlackBerry smartphones he loved took a.

[Announcer]

Turn for the worse. It was badly designed and the haptic.

[Alistair]

Click noise was hideous.

[Announcer]

It sounded like a dislocated knuckle.

[Paul]

Among our other topics is Skype. Why couldn't it capitalize on the popularity of video calling during the pandemic? And a bottled water from Coca Cola. Big in the States, but it. It sank here within just six weeks. Listen to Toast first on BBC Sounds.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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