
Alan gets involved in village life, and Kirsty faces an emotional moment.
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George
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Narrator
You're listening to the Archer's omnibus from BBC Radio 4.
Lillian
Alan.
Alan
Brilliant.
Kirsty
I was just admiring these poppies. Won't they be glorious when they bloom?
Lily
Yeah, I think they must be from Tony's birthday seed. There's more spirit sprung up by the vestry door.
Kirsty
Are you heading to Rewilding?
Lily
Yes, I am. I've just stuck a note on the church door to remind folks about the regation Sunday service.
Kirsty
Well, I'm heading there too. Oh, look here, Alan, you're struggling there. Let me take a bag.
Lily
Oh, thanks, Lillian.
Kirsty
Oh, it's such a glorious day.
Ian
I know.
Lily
If I could rely on weather like this, I'd do more open air services.
Kirsty
Oh, you know, Mum would be in her element. Rewilding and church coming together on a sunny spring morning.
Lily
You miss her?
Lillian
Yeah, every day.
Lily
Right, should we get going then? How are Brian and Rory getting on?
Kirsty
Why do you ask?
Lily
Well, I was just thinking about them yesterday evening. I saw Brian heading back from the Bull to Blossom Hill Cottage and I thought how hard it must be for Him. I mean, not so long ago he was telling me how excited he was to be moving into the farmhouse with Miranda.
Kirsty
Breakups are hard on everyone. But you know Brian. He'll be all right.
Anna
Morning.
Kira
Oh, good morning.
Lily
Morning.
Den
I wonder if you can help me. I'm looking for the cricket ground. I'm here to see the. The Battling Bulls.
Martha
Oh, well, you're in luck.
Kirsty
We're playing the three tons. But you're very early. The match doesn't start till 2.
Den
I'm such an idiot. I should have checked.
Lily
All the fixtures are on the village website.
Kirsty
And I think Susan put a notice up in the shop window. Next week we're at home against the Black Dragon.
Lily
You not local Leno?
Narrator
No.
Den
Sort of, but not from Ambridge, though. My kids live here. Chelsea and Brad.
Kirsty
So you must be Den.
Den
I'm here to support Brad. Chelsea told me he's the scorer.
Ian
He is. He's a fantastic lad.
Lily
He must be very proud.
Den
I am.
Kirsty
Well, we look forward to seeing you at the game.
Den
Yeah, but now I've got a few hours to kill. I doubt Tracey's going to invite me in for morning coffee.
Kirsty
Well, there's a tea room up at Bridge Farm.
Lily
Oh, you're more than welcome to come to our irrigation Sunday service.
Den
What's that then?
Lily
It's when we ask for God's blessing on the land.
Kirsty
Isn't it also about stopping scraps between neighboring farmers?
Lily
I suppose traditionally that was part of it. Well, we'll have some hymns, a few prayers and then coffee and scones.
Den
Oh, salt. Here, let me help. Give me that box.
Lily
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Kirsty
Right here then, was it?
Narrator
Follow me.
Eric
Okay. Here you go. Four fold out chairs.
Lillian
Thanks, Eric. Most people will stand, but I thought we need a few chairs for the likes of Jill and Carol.
Eric
Yeah, he's here. Okay. Near the sculpture thingy.
Lillian
Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Anna
Yeah.
Narrator
Yeah, yeah.
Eric
I can do this. I don't think you should be lifting things, Kirsty.
Lillian
They're as light as a feather.
Lily
I know.
Lillian
I promise you I'm being careful. That's why I told Rex. So he can do any hefty enough vlogs around. But I can't spend the next eight months wrapped in cotton wool.
Anna
Hmm.
Eric
You remember when Rex fell foul of Jakob over that stain on his kitchen tiles?
Lillian
Where are you in that story? The way I remember it, Rex was the responsible one. Worried about the state of your brother's house while you careered around sloshing red wine everywhere.
Eric
Well, it turned out Rex was Right. Jakob was not totally relaxed about the state. He rang me when he got back to ask about it.
Lillian
I assume you've told him you're here.
Eric
Yeah, I texted him this morning.
Lillian
Only this morning?
Eric
We were pretty busy last night.
Lillian
It was nice.
Anna
Nice?
Eric
Not earth moving.
Lillian
It was really nice. But now I have to get into Rogation Sunday mood.
Eric
This is such a weird place.
Lillian
What, rewilding?
Eric
No. Ambridge. I mean a half expensive to wake up in the night to a rat. A tat. Tat of a scarecrow's fingers on your window.
Lillian
What are you talking about? It's not Ambridge that's weird. It's you.
Eric
Well, actually, I find the whole countryside thing quite alluring. You in your natural habitat instead of
Lillian
in a series of European hotel rooms.
Oliver
Oh.
Eric
Sounds a bit sleazy. Is that how it feels?
Amber
No.
Lillian
Not at all. Bathrobes, balconies, Croissants in Paris. And chocolates and Bruges. I thought that was much more sexy than me and wellies in a hoodie hanging about in the woods.
Eric
I think you look great.
Kirsty
You're Jakob's brother. Elric.
Lillian
Oh. Eric.
Kirsty
Welcome back to the village.
Anna
Thank you.
Lillian
This is Lillian. I think you met her at the ball.
Oliver
Though.
Lillian
That must have been a few years ago now.
Alan
Yep.
Eric
I remember you. Gin and tonic, isn't it?
Kirsty
Very impressive, darling.
Narrator
Oh, he's a keeper.
Lillian
Well, let's see now.
Kirsty
Are you staying long?
Eric
At least a few days. Depends on work.
Kirsty
Oh. So you'll be free to play cricket for the pub team this afternoon? Well, if you play a short, darling. And it should be fun. I've already managed to twist your brother's arm.
Eric
Can I twist yours too, Kirsty?
Lillian
Fine by me.
Brad
Oh.
Kirsty
So is that a yes, darling?
Eric
Yeah, go on then. But I don't have any whites.
Kirsty
Oh, we're not worried about that. Play in anything you like. The brighter the better. All feel free to invest in one of our new Battling Bulls cricket shirts. Limited edition.
Lily
Yes. D. What a fantastic turnout.
Kirsty
Oh.
Lillian
Combination of the weather and those gorgeous posters Kira designed for us.
Lily
Should we get started? Do you want to introduce Rogation Sunday? Then we'll start with all creatures of our God and king.
Lillian
Perfect. Good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming to rewilding Ambridge on this beautiful May morning. Rogation Sunday is an ancient church festival that seeks blessing for the community and its sustenance.
Rory
Afternoon, Brad.
Oliver
Hi. Jakob here. Are you playing today?
George
I am.
Rory
But I wish I wasn't. Not even sure of the rules.
Oliver
I can go over the basics with
Narrator
you if you like?
Rory
Thank you. But I'm under strict instruction from Lily to pay you for a cricket shirt and get back for the team talk. Is cash okay?
Ian
Perfect.
Rory
Right, there you go.
Oliver
What size are you after?
Rory
Do you have large?
Oliver
I think so.
Narrator
Here you go.
Oliver
You can try it on and bring it back if it doesn't fit.
Rory
Thank you.
Oliver
Does this mean you're going to be a regular now you've got the shirt?
Rory
No, definitely not. But Kate's away in Scotland and when I told her I was playing, she said she wanted proof photo of me wearing a battling Bulls top.
Oliver
Well, best of luck.
George
Right.
Oliver
Oh, no.
Den
Hello, son.
Narrator
What are you doing here?
Oliver
Dad.
Den
Oh, nice to see you too.
Rory
Right, well, I better go and find my brother. He turns up out of the blue and immediately makes himself the life and soul of the party.
Den
I think I've already met him. Is he called Eric?
Rory
Yeah, that's him.
Den
Oh, top lad. Hey, I hope you smash the other team.
Narrator
Go ball. Dad, don't shout things like that.
Den
No, I'm sorry. It's just I've been getting the lowdown from that posh woman who works in the pub with your mum.
Oliver
Lillian?
Den
That's the one. And now I've got feel properly invested Battling balls till I die Battling balls till I die.
Narrator
What do you want?
Oliver
How did you know I'd be here?
Den
Chelsea told me you score for the cricket team, so I took a punt I'd find you here. I thought I could sit with you during the game.
Narrator
No, you can't do that. You can't just turn up and be normal. This isn't normal.
Den
All right, look, I don't want to distract you from the math, so just pretend I'm not here. My new mates Lillian and Kirsty will look after me.
Alan
Over here, Eric.
Eric
Yo, bro. Long time no see. Come here.
Rory
You got here last night.
Eric
Yeah, pretty late or I'd have dragged you to the pub.
Lillian
He arrived with a suitcase and two bags of chips.
Eric
Yeah. Just ask me if you ever need any tips on seduction.
Rory
I won't.
Eric
Come on, don't be annoyed with me.
Rory
I'm not. I'm not. It's good to see you.
Kirsty
Ah, you two look fabulous.
Narrator
A brace of buttling balls the Bulls brought us.
Rory
Well, where do we need to be? Where's the rest of the team?
Kirsty
Well, Lily will be over in a minute with Chris's batting order. Come on, Kirsty. I've saved us a seat beside Amber and Jim.
Lillian
Remember, you're on the same team. No sibling rivalry.
Eric
She's great. Isn't she?
Rory
Yes. Yes. But is Kirsty the reason you're here?
Eric
Why else would I be here?
Rory
I don't know. It just seems a bit out of the blue. I thought maybe you needed something, like money or help.
Eric
No.
Rory
Well, Kate's gonna be sorry she missed you. If you'd given me some warning.
Eric
Oh, well, yeah. This couldn't wait.
Rory
Seeing Kirsty couldn't wait.
Eric
That's right. I've actually got some pretty big news.
Rory
What is it?
Eric
Okay, if I tell you, you have to swear not to say a word to anyone. Not even to Kate.
Lily
Eric, Jacob, Chris needs you. You're opening the batting.
Eric
Oh, yes.
Narrator
This.
Eric
Run.
Narrator
Jakob, stop.
Stella
What?
Narrator
It's a four.
Lily
All right.
Eric
Forgot how much I love cricket. I think I'm doing all right, considering I haven't played in years.
Rory
Oh, I'm useless. I've missed every ball.
Eric
Oh, don't worry. Just run when I shout. Run.
Oliver
Okay.
Alan
What.
Rory
What's happening now?
Eric
Okay, see the fielder over there? She's looking for my ball. It went into the hedge.
Rory
So what's the big secret?
Eric
Kirsty's pregnant.
Lillian
What?
Rory
Eric, how?
Eric
You're not serious. You know, the usual way.
Rory
I am serious. This isn't funny.
Eric
I know.
Rory
Do you have any idea what having a baby means? What it will mean for Kirsty?
Eric
Yeah, I know it's a big deal, but it's actually what we both want.
Rory
You mean you're together?
Eric
Kind of.
Rory
What does kind of mean?
Eric
It means we'll see how it goes.
Alan
Wow.
Rory
I don't know what to think.
Eric
Yeah, well, that's okay. You don't have to know because it's not your baby. All you have to do is be happy for us.
Den
All right, so let me check. I got this, right? If this Fellow from the 3 tons gets two more runs, they win.
Lillian
Yeah.
Narrator
I can't believe it.
Kirsty
It felt like we finished batting in such a strong position.
Den
When this guy walked out, I thought he might be another one out for a duck.
Kirsty
Oh, no such luck. Their secret weapon.
Lillian
Oh, here we go.
Kirsty
Oh, no. It's gonna be a six.
Lillian
Wait, Tracy's under it.
Kirsty
Catch it.
Stella
Yes.
Narrator
Champion.
Rory
No thanks to me.
Kirsty
Well, it was a team effort. To the Bull Beer Garden. The first drink is on the house.
Narrator
Oh, come here, Eric.
Kirsty
Oh, you were brilliant.
Eric
I told Jakob, by the way.
Narrator
I couldn't help it. That's okay.
Rory
Congratulations. I'm. I'm really happy for you.
Lillian
Thanks. Though it's early days. I'm really keen to keep it quiet until I feel a bit More confident.
Rory
Well, you can count on me. I won't tell anyone. Not even Kate.
Lillian
I know it's unfair to ask you to keep it a secret from her, but I really want to tell her myself when she gets back.
Narrator
Brad.
Den
Brad. You're still here. I thought I might have missed you.
Oliver
I'm just packing up.
Narrator
Oh, great.
Den
And how about we go for a drink?
Oliver
I'm all right. I've got my water bottle.
Den
Oh, okay, then. I'll leave you in peace.
Oliver
What did you think of the match?
Den
Brilliant. And your scoring, I mean, it's perfect. That old fella, the clever one, he said you're the best cricket scorer in the county.
Oliver
That'll be Jim Lloyd. He taught me everything I know.
Den
Yeah, well, I deserve that one.
Oliver
What do you mean?
Den
That should have been my job. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't have taught you the maths, but I think you get that from your mum.
Oliver
There's a lot I get from mum.
Den
But there was other stuff. At least let me buy you a pint.
Lily
Come on.
Oliver
No, thanks. I need to go home. I've got work to do for uni.
Den
Of course. But I could come to watch the cricket again next week. Is it home or away, dad? And you're welcome back to mine after. Soph would love to meet you. And she does a great steak and chips.
Oliver
Dad, I don't think.
Den
Nah, of course, not too soon. But I could take you and Chelsea for a burger.
Oliver
I'm just too busy at the moment with exams and stuff.
Eric
Right.
Den
Okay.
Oliver
I'm sorry, dad, but I don't really want this.
Stella
Well, it's so nice he has such a lovely gang of friends now.
Ian
No more tears at the school gate.
Stella
I hope he remembers to eat his apple today. Yesterday I found his banana at the bottom of the book bag. A squashed mess. The book was ruined.
Ian
Oh. What have you got on at Grey Gables today?
Stella
Troubleshooting and firefighting. You?
Ian
Let's out spraying the barley. I'll check in on the Hinds from a distance at some point this afternoon, spread some pellets. And I need to ring the agronomist. Then I suppose I'll have to make a decision about Rory.
Stella
Will you tell Brian?
Ian
You know, I can't see what any of us would gain from that. Ian.
Stella
You know, I can't stop thinking about what Rory did. It's like my brain tries to play it down and then resists. It was. Was brutal, Adam.
Ian
Yeah, I know.
Stella
And for Brian, seeing that, taking the blame, I mean, no wonder he's losing his Mind, of course.
Ian
And I feel for him. Rory's put him in an impossible situation of. It was Xander. I know, but Rory is falling apart. And Brian thinks he can be the one to hold it all together, but. But he's getting on. And I worry his refusal to let go of the farm is purely about holding on to power when he feels powerless.
Stella
So what do you do?
Ian
I do whatever I can to protect the farm. Right now, I'm the safe pair of hands. To step back or even to do nothing risks destroying the business we all rely on. Brian's decisions are erratic. And I'm more convinced than ever that an intervention at the partnership meeting next week. That's the only way to get him to stand down.
Stella
But without Alice and Rory on board.
Ian
Yeah, I doubt Rory will even turn up. And even if he does, well, and Alice, she needs careful handling. She's worried, obviously, but far more worried about Brian than the farm.
George
Yeah.
Ian
If I can persuade her that the stress of the business is killing him, I hope she'll give me her vote.
Oliver
Well, yeah.
Stella
And to be fair, it's also the truth. Brian isn't getting anything positive from clinging on to power.
Ian
Except maybe power itself.
Stella
Oh, I just thought if you want to drop in at the eco office, I've got time.
Ian
Oh, no thanks. I'm gonna work from home this morning. I've got some confidential calls to make and I can't guarantee that Brian won't come bursting in accusing me of treason.
Stella
All right then. Good luck.
Narrator
Thanks.
Ian
You too.
Stella
You know, I feel like we're both pretty brilliant at what we do. And yet we never quite get the credit we deserve.
Ian
Woefully undervalued.
Stella
I'm serious. Look at what you do at Home Farm. You're the obvious successor. Constantly undermined. And me, I suppose I thought I'd be head chef or some more influential by now.
Ian
A Michelin starred restaurant.
Rory
Why not?
Stella
Like Ray Gables Explosion scuppered me completely.
Ian
Yeah, I bet you're ahead of food. That's not without status.
Stella
Grey Gables is running like a cumbersome machine at the minute. We need new leadership. Just exciting ideas.
Ian
I hear you. I sometimes think if Mum had lived and Brian had. Well, you know, I would have taken over the farm. And with complete control of the rains, the land would be thriving.
Stella
It's frustrating.
Ian
It's impossible. He just has to let go.
George
Alright, Amber, say something. A test run for sound and lighting.
Narrator
Okay.
Amber
Hi. I'm here in the gorgeous Borsetshire countryside. Feeling pretty excited. I've got some big News to share with you all.
George
Do you want to see how it looks?
Brad
Yeah.
Narrator
Play it back.
Amber
Hi, I'm here in the. The lighting's great. You're so good at this.
Kira
I know.
George
That's why David headhunted me. Headhunted us, but mostly me.
Amber
Do you think this floral blouse and skirt's too much?
George
No, I love it.
Amber
I want rural, but not trad wife.
Eric
Rural?
George
There's nothing wrong with trad wife.
Amber
All right, look, let's get it filmed while the sun's still out. I want the whole thing to give spring new life. Eggs and nests, bun in the oven.
Anna
Literally.
George
No one will know what you mean if you say that.
Amber
Or would you prefer I just a nice that I'm knocked off?
George
I don't know why you can't just say that you're having a baby.
Amber
Yeah, okay.
Anna
Maybe you're right.
Amber
Light, happy, direct. The news is big enough.
George
You could use some of my drone footage at the start of your post. Grange farm from the skies. Then cut to you and the hay bale.
Tom
And you're pretty.
Ian
Milkmaid.
Anna
Get up.
Amber
I'm not dressed as a milkmaid.
George
Sorry. Farmer's wife.
Amber
You know, I still don't know how you managed to charm Brian into investing in that drone.
Anna
Of all people.
Amber
I thought he'd be the last person to let go of what happened.
George
To be fair, I think he was impressed when I called that Aldridge family meeting after New Year. I'll bet there's a bit of him wishes he had a son like me.
Anna
Really?
George
Oh, hey, it's Brad.
Oliver
Brad, Hi. George.
Narrator
Amber, hi.
George
What are you up to, mate?
Oliver
Emma asked me to do a session on vectors with Kira.
George
I thought she was at school.
Oliver
She's got teacher training day. What about you two? Day off?
George
Nah, I finished morning milking and Esme said I could get off early.
Amber
And he's helping me with the post.
Narrator
Cool.
Amber
Yeah, now that we've had our 20 week scan, I'm gonna tell my followers that we're expecting.
Narrator
Right.
Oliver
Anyway, I better not keep Kira waiting. See you later.
George
Hold on, Brad.
Oliver
What?
George
How was it with your dad at the cricket yesterday?
Oliver
I dunno. I mean, you know.
George
Back in your life, then?
Narrator
Not really.
George
Are you gonna start seeing him?
Kirsty
George, stop.
Amber
He obviously doesn't want to talk about it.
Oliver
It's not that. It's just. Kira's waiting for me.
Amber
Okay.
George
All right, mate. Good to see you, though. Bye.
Narrator
Here. Yeah.
Stella
What can I do for you, Oliver?
Tom
Bad news, I'm afraid. One of the deliveries has been delayed. Won't Come in. Until tomorrow. No venison, no oyster mushrooms. Long list here of what's missing.
Stella
Okay. Can I see? Yeah, I'll. I'll just change the menu for tonight.
Tom
Oh, I'm sorry, Ian. Honestly, if one more thing goes wrong today, I'm going to shut down the hotel and go home.
Stella
You mustn't.
Tom
Ian, I'm missing getting home before midnight. Oh, I'm too over all this.
Stella
Well, leave the menu change on me, Oliver. I'll redesign it just based on what we have in stock.
Tom
Do we have enough?
Stella
I might have to ring Bridge Farm, get them to deliver some emergency supplies.
Tom
Thank you. I do appreciate it. Let me know what you decide, and I'll get new menus printed off. I was supposed to meet Miranda for lunch, but I'll have to cancel now.
Stella
No, no, no, don't. You leave everything with me. I'll redesign the menu and Lily can get it printed.
Tom
Well, that would be marvelous. Last thing Miranda needs right now is a friend letting her down.
Stella
How's she doing?
Tom
But treaty were me, I'd say she's heartbroken.
Stella
None of us can understand it. I mean, what happened between them.
Tom
I think it's quite simple. Brian made Miranda a promise, then broke it.
Stella
So out of character.
Tom
Is it? Miranda's convinced he's just up to his old tricks. Keeping secrets and telling lies.
George
Here it is.
Amber
Oh, flying into land.
Rory
Got it.
Ursula
Great.
George
Let's get back to ours. Can't wait to see what the footage looks like.
Amber
Yep, and once we know what we've got, we can make a plan. I was thinking we should get some Golden Hour livestock shots.
Lily
Don't worry.
George
I've already got a plan.
Amber
But I thought we were designing the campaign together.
George
Yeah, but I think the really important thing is that the visual style is right. The colors, the text, the slogans.
Amber
Are you mansplaining social media to me?
George
No, but you're not the only one who can do this. Before I even met, I was doing promotions, posting drone footage.
Amber
Yeah, and how much engagement did you get? Because it's more than just posting a video with a slogan. We need to plan teasers, highlights of events, countdown clips.
George
I know what I'm doing.
Lillian
Great.
Amber
So you've thought about engagement boosters.
George
David trusted me to do this job. I'm pretty sure I can do it without engagement boosters.
Amber
Fine. Leave you to it. I'd rather spend the time getting my own post. Right. This will be a once in a lifetime moment, letting my followers know I'm expecting Brad.
George
You survived teaching Kira, then?
Oliver
Yeah.
George
I'm impressed. She hardly even talks to me at the moment.
Oliver
Actually, she did. Well, she's good at maths.
George
You want to have a go with the drone?
Oliver
Sorry, I can't stop. I've got revision to do.
George
All right, then. But first I've got something to tell you.
Oliver
What is it?
George
I've thought of the perfect name for our baby, if it's boy.
Narrator
Oh, yeah?
Oliver
Brad.
Narrator
Since when?
Oliver
It's a nice thought, really. Thanks, George, but, well, I don't think you should call the baby after me.
Tom
Come in.
Stella
Here you go. Oliver.
Anna
Hi.
Stella
A copy of today's dinner menu for your approval.
Tom
Looks wonderful. And no need for my approval. I trust you implicitly.
Stella
I love having a problem to solve. And I'm actually quite excited about the beef dish. Charcoal seared loin with shallot puree and black garlic glaze.
Tom
I also heard from Lily that the two of you sorted out a rotor problem for housekeeping before it even landed on my desk. And I'm extremely grateful to you.
Stella
Ah, don't mention it. I know how stretched you are without Dame.
Alan
Indeed.
Tom
I used to berate him for being a workaholic, but I didn't know how lucky we were. It won't be easy to replace him.
Anna
No.
Tom
You don't think standards have already started to slip, do you? It feels, well, an impossible job to keep all the plates spinning without him.
Stella
Well, I know the restaurant has recently got some outstanding reviews and the general feeling is that we're riding high. It would be a shame to lose the momentum when we've worked so hard to get to this point.
Tom
I agree, Ian. This might be feel a bit off the cuff, but it's something I've been turning over in my mind for a few weeks. Might you be willing to step up till a replacement arrives?
Stella
Step up to what?
Tom
To take on the role of acting general manager.
Stella
Right.
Alan
Wow.
Stella
I don't know what to say.
Tom
You don't have to give me an answer right now, but I'd really like you to consider it.
Stella
But acting general manager, I'm not sure I've got the right skill set for the job.
Tom
Nonsense. I've seen the way you work as head of food, and if I didn't think you were qualified, I promise I wouldn't have asked you.
Ian
Ian? Everything okay?
Narrator
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stella
Are you okay to talk?
Ian
Fine, yeah. I'm still at home. I just got off the phone with the agronomist.
Stella
Great.
Ian
Although I've not been able to get Alice to agree to a time to meet. She texted to Say she'll check in on Brian tomorrow and let me know how he is. But she's. She's definitely keeping me at arm's length. You'd think we lived at opposite ends of the earth, not in the same village.
Stella
Well, could you not pop around to the stable? She can hardly hide from your work.
Ian
I don't think that would be wise. I don't want Lillian getting wind of my plans, since I can't be sure she'd side with me. She and Brian are obviously thick as thieves.
Stella
Anyway, sorry, I don't have long, so can I tell you my news?
Ian
Sorry. And of course.
George
Yeah, yeah.
Ian
What's happened?
Stella
Oliver has just asked me to consider being acting general manager.
Ian
Oh, Ian, that's amazing.
Stella
It is, isn't it?
Ian
You should go for it.
Stella
Yeah, maybe, but we need to talk through it properly.
Ian
What's to talk through? You'll be brilliant.
Stella
But what if it means we need more child care for Xander? Then there's all my PTA commitments. We hardly need more. More uncertain. They added to the mix.
Ian
Yeah, none of those are reasons to turn down a promotion.
Stella
Yeah, a temporary promotion.
Ian
Look, look, let's talk all this through later tonight over a nice bottle of wine.
Alan
Yeah?
Stella
Okay. Good idea. And I can tell you what Oliver said about Brian.
Ian
Why? What did he say?
Stella
Well, it seems that him and Miranda think that Brian's perfectly sane.
Ian
Not particularly helpful for persuading Alice. Now I have to stay focused on persuading her that Brian's madness will destroy the farm. And that the only salvation lies in us all sticking together.
Pip
Afternoon.
Narrator
Afternoon, Ruth.
Martha
Another lovely day.
Alan
Yes, gorgeous.
Anna
Oh, I meant to see Brian.
Martha
It's so generous of you to help George fund his new drone.
Alan
What?
Martha
He's going to do a great job marketing the Borchester show.
Alan
Well, I'm glad my investment's been put to good use.
Anna
Hello.
Alan
Ah, hello there.
Martha
Afternoon, Anna. How's your mum?
Anna
Well, she swears she's just spotted a budgie in her garden.
Martha
That must be the escapee from the Maliks.
Alan
Right. I better get my shopping before I forget what I've come for.
Martha
I know that feeling.
Alan
Since Alice is coming round, I need to have a quick cleanup. Otherwise she'll start fretting to Kate that I'm not capable of looking after myself.
Martha
Bye, Brian.
Anna
Bye.
Alan
Bye.
Anna
I'm pretty sure that's how my mum speaks about me. Anything I say, she accuses me of fretting. You going into the shop? No, I'm heading home to help Pip
Martha
with the signage clamp.
Anna
Then I'LL get straight to the point. I've been doing some research on what might help Mum carry on living independently.
Martha
I thought that was sorted. And being fitted in the next few weeks.
Anna
Well, I'm sure all the occupational therapist ideas will help, but I think we need to do more. A stair lift and a downstairs shower would make a huge difference.
Martha
Anna, I understand you're worried, but it's not really our responsibility as landlords to make those kind of structural changes. Well, I'm not sure, even if the sky was the limit, that a stairlift would fit in an old cottage like Glebe.
Anna
Well, I know it's not a leaf legal requirement, but Mum refuses to move house or even consider moving.
Martha
I really have to dash off, but I'll have a thing and let's chat soon.
Anna
Maybe if I pay for anything major.
Martha
Maybe. Though something like a stairlift would need removing once the tenancy ended.
Lillian
Hello, ladies.
Martha
Hi, Kirsty.
Lillian
Oh, isn't it nice to be able to stop and chat on the green? No drizzle, no cold wind.
Martha
Definitely lifts the mood.
Lillian
Oh, look at. Forward to your talk at the WI later, Anna. The posters look great. You come in.
Martha
I'm planning to see you later, then. Both of you.
Lillian
See you.
Anna
Bye.
Martha
Bye.
Lillian
Yeah, we're trying to encourage some younger women along to the meeting. I was talking to Chelsea earlier and she was going to see if Zainab and Amber had come.
Anna
Oh, that'd be great.
Lillian
Oh, and before I forget, your mum was asking me about giving her a tour of rewilding at some point.
Anna
Was she?
Lillian
Yeah. I was chatting to her after the Rogation Sunday service. She was keen to know more about the Beavers. And since it's such a lovely day, I wondered if you were free later this afternoon. The ground's dry. Ideal for walking with a stick.
Anna
I'm not sure how far Mum will actually be able to walk.
Lillian
That's all right. You can take it at her pace. And our accessible route allows you to see lots without going far.
Anna
Well, then. Yes.
Lillian
Thank you.
Kirsty
Here.
Martha
You got it? Yeah. I reckon we need about a dozen more tyres along the front, just to be sure.
Oliver
Okay.
Martha
I'm really enjoying this.
Pip
You're mad.
Martha
You know what I mean, though, Pip. After all the worry of the last few weeks, it feels good to be doing work that's practical. Manual tasks that can be done and ticked off.
Pip
Yeah, well, that only works if you can switch your mind off.
Narrator
You need to give yourself a break.
Martha
Check in that you've got the old. You're young and healthy. And engaged to be married.
Pip
But my whole nervous system feels jangly and I'm tired all the time, and I can't stop thinking that it could have been cancer.
Narrator
But it wasn't.
Martha
But it could have been.
Narrator
Oh, Pip.
Pip
And I can't even find out if I'm carrying that gene, the BRCA gene variant. Unless you go for a test.
Martha
Well, Azra's talked me through what will happen if I choose to be referred.
Pip
And you'll do it?
Martha
I'm thinking about it. But even once she'd referred me, there would be a wait for the actual test.
Pip
And then if you do decide to get tested and it's positive, then I would have to wait for my test. And what if everything goes haywire in the meantime? Sorry, it's just, you know, I wanted to explain why flinging tires on a silage clamp isn't doing it for me. No amount of farm work or mindfulness is going to stop the voice in my head that's telling me to worry.
Ursula
The place looks great, dad.
Alan
Oh, thank you. Just a bit of spring cleaning.
Ursula
Why don't we go and sit down? Or even take a coffee into the garden.
Alan
No, I just want to finish this.
Ursula
Well, can I help?
Alan
I don't need help, thank you. Perfectly capable cleaning my own kitchen.
Ursula
Okay, well, I'll put the kettle on.
Alan
Did you hear? Ian's been offered acting general manager Greg Gables. Adam's been bragging about it.
Ursula
Oh, I hadn't heard. I haven't actually spoken to Adam properly
Narrator
for a few days.
Alan
Really don't believe that. I imagine you lot are always in a huddle, whispering about me.
Ursula
That's an awful thing to say, dad.
Alan
I'm only joking.
Ursula
Right.
Tom
What?
Ursula
Oh, nothing.
Alan
Oh, maybe I'm not joking.
Ursula
Please, dad, stop cleaning for a minute. The kitchen is already sparkling.
Alan
I can't win, can I? Living in squalor, obsessively clean in the pub too much and not going out enough.
Ursula
Are you okay, dad? Has something happened?
Alan
What?
Ursula
Is your hearing okay?
Narrator
Of course it is.
Alan
You're mumbling.
Ursula
No, I'm not. So, Ruri cooked for you both last night?
Alan
Yeah. Celebration meal.
Ursula
What were you celebrating?
Alan
His new job.
Amber
He got that.
Ursula
The one Stella told him about?
Alan
Yeah.
Ursula
Oh, he didn't message.
Alan
Well, it all happened very quickly. He's moving out of Blossom Hill and in with a friend closer to where he'll be working.
Ursula
That's great for Ruri, but are you all right about it?
Narrator
Of course.
Alan
Why wouldn't I be?
Ursula
Well, I mean, you'll be here all on your own? Well, you and Miranda. All your plans.
Ian
Mmm.
Ursula
Dad.
Alan
I wouldn't say this to any of the others, darling, but I can trust you're not going to go blowing it out of proportion.
Ursula
What is it?
Alan
I miss her. If she'd give me another chance, I have to admit it, I'd jump at it.
Ursula
Well, then why don't you try again?
Alan
Well, I kept trying with Stella. Begged, bribed. Nothing worked.
Ursula
Well, that was totally different. Stella was an employee. You love Miranda.
Alan
Yes, I really do. But I've rung and messaged, begged.
Ursula
Have you explained to her exactly why you got cold feet?
Narrator
I didn't get cold feet.
Ursula
Well, then, what was it? Tell me and I can help you make it okay with her. Oh, Was it an affair?
Pip
No.
Narrator
Well, then what?
Alan
Maybe if everyone stopped analyzing my behavior, they'd actually get some work done. I was up at Home Farm office first thing this morning. Any sign of Adam? No. Probably having a lie in.
Ursula
Or getting Xander ready for school.
Alan
Just can't rely on him anymore.
Ursula
Dad, we're not talking about Adam of the farm. We're talking about you and Miranda.
Alan
Not anymore. I'm fine. And I've survived worse. And if Adam's taken his eye off the ball, I'm happy to keep running Home Farm.
Ursula
You're supposed to have retired, dad.
Alan
Oh, you should know by now, Alice Farmer never really retires.
Anna
There's another butterfly. Beautiful.
Lillian
Where did it go?
Anna
There. On the long grass with brown and
Narrator
orange wings and white spots.
Lillian
Ah, yes, yes. That's our Duke of Burgundy. We're doing a survey on them at the end of the week.
Anna
Is that a bat box? It is. I've got bats in my attic.
Lillian
Yes, Leonard was telling me.
Anna
What kind do you think they'll be?
Lillian
My guess would be either brown long eared bats or common pipistrelles. I'll probably move off to roost somewhere else around August once the pups are weaned.
Anna
Anna hates them, but I like the idea of giving them sanctuary. I don't hate them. I'd just rather they were seeking sanctuary elsewhere.
Lillian
Is there anything else you'd like to see before we head to the WI meeting?
Anna
No, but it's been wonderful. Thank you, Kirsty. No, I. I'd like to see the
Narrator
information on the beavers.
Anna
Well, another day, maybe. I told Susan I'd be at the village hall early to talk through the plan for the evening.
Lillian
Well, I can give Carol a lift to the WI if you like.
Anna
Well, if you're sure.
Lillian
Yeah, of course. I've got Loads of information on the Beavers and the rewilding office. Come on, Carol, I'll show you what we spotted. Sigourney getting up to the.
Martha
It's great to see the youngsters here. If Amber, Chelsea and Zenab join our average age.
Ursula
Will I feel guilty that I haven't been to a meeting for so long?
Martha
Don't us mums feel guilty about enough without adding the WI to the list?
Narrator
Oh, true. Evening.
Ursula
Oh.
Martha
You ready for your talk, Anna?
Anna
Just about. Though I might see if Susan's happy to delay the meeting for five minutes. Mum seems to have gotten gone awol.
Lillian
Sorry I'm late.
Anna
Thanks for bringing Mum, Kirsty. Did she find a seat in the hall?
Lillian
Oh, actually, I dropped her home. She said she was tired after all the walking.
Anna
So she's not coming?
Lillian
No. My fault for wearing her out.
Martha
Oh, there'll be plenty in the audience. You've already got more people than that sommelier from Greg Gables had. And she was giving out free samples of wine.
Ursula
Come on, Anna. The women of Ambridge are waiting for you.
Lillian
Anna, your talk was amazing.
Anna
Oh, thank you.
Martha
What you're doing is such important work.
Anna
But we had to keep up the pressure, keep pushing for more improvements in how family and criminal courts deal with gender based violence.
Ursula
I do sometimes worry about what kind of world Martha's growing up in.
Anna
Well, hopefully a world on the brink of something better. Look at your WI Federation's no More Violence Against Against Women campaign.
Martha
And the not in My Name pledge of raising awareness, encouraging solidarity.
Lillian
Yeah, getting the fellas to be active allies.
Martha
Jolene's got a box of white ribbons
Anna
on the bar at the Bull.
Ursula
You know, what about all the comments online? When a woman brings up toxic male behavior, she gets accused of man bashing and worse.
Anna
But that's why these campaigns are so important.
Lillian
Yeah. I keep thinking about how to get it right from the start. How do we raise boys so they grow up to. To understand consent, respect, equality. I mean, these violent men weren't violent babies.
Martha
David and I, we've always tried to talk openly and honestly with all three kids about what healthy relationships look like.
Ursula
But we still praise emotional literacy in girls and toughness in boys. I hear it in the playground every day. In fact, I'm sure I do it myself.
Pip
Mum.
Narrator
Pip.
Martha
I didn't think you were joining us.
Pip
Sorry.
Lillian
Oh, you've missed the talk.
Anna
But why not have a cuppa?
Pip
No, thanks. I'll wait for you outside. Mum.
Martha
What's wrong?
Anna
Pip?
Pip
I feel terrible.
Martha
Should you be in bed?
Pip
No, no, I'M not ill, I'm just worried sick. And I've been looking things up.
Martha
Things like genetics, BRCA 1 and 2,
Pip
and there's about five or six other gentlemen that could be faulty. And it's not just breast cancer either. Some increase the risk of getting other cancers, like ovarian cancer.
Martha
You're bound to start panicking if you're doom scrolling the Internet. Where's Stella?
Pip
She's gone out with work. Ben's with Rosie.
Martha
Well, if I'd known you were going to be on your own tonight worrying, I'd have stared at Rickyard with you.
Pip
Mum, I don't need a babysitter. I need answers.
Martha
I think you've just got yourself into a sting, going down rabbit holes. You're panicking yourself because there's a reason.
Pip
Reason to panic. I'm 33 and I'm worried I'm carrying a death sentence in my DNA.
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Stella
Where is Adam?
Ursula
Oh, don't panic, Ian. Here he is.
Lillian
Hiya.
Narrator
Hi, Alice.
Stella
Oh, just in time.
Ian
Sorry, I got to the office at 6:00am and suddenly it was almost 8:30.
Lillian
Oh.
Narrator
Oh, there's Martha. She's seen me.
Ian
What is this anyway? Star of the Week?
Stella
No, this is the Kindness assembly.
Ursula
It's so lovely that both Xander and Martha are getting an award.
Ian
I'm glad the teachers didn't witness the lack of kindness they showed each other over the bull cricket shirt design.
Stella
Well, I think it's lovely they recognize it as a strength nowadays. In my day, you were only ever rewarded for being the best. You know, the fastest, the cleverest. Kindness was a sign of weakness.
Ian
Oh, here comes Xander's cast. Oh, there he is.
Stella
Xander.
Ian
Oh, did you get a chance to talk to Brian yesterday?
Ursula
Yeah, I did.
Ian
What do you think? How did he see him?
Ursula
Did he tell you that Rory got that farm job in North Walsetshire and is moving out? So weird. Dad makes this big fuss about staying in Blossom Hill for Ruri's sake, and now he's going to be there alone.
Ian
It does sound odd. Have you spoken to Rory?
Lillian
Yeah.
Ursula
I mean, I sent him a voice note saying congratulations, but I mean, I don't even really know what job he's got. Dad was vague about that, like he
Anna
is about everything at the moment.
Ian
I wouldn't blame Rory for jumping ship. Probably worried he'll get landed with the role of carer.
Ursula
It didn't look like dad needed a carer. When I saw him yesterday, he was cleaning the kitchen like his life depended on it.
Stella
Signs they could prove. Pretty standard corporal mechanism.
Anna
But coping with what?
Ian
Rory moving out. I assume that's what he admit.
Alan
Yep.
Ursula
Honestly, he seemed fine about it. Almost too fine.
Ian
What do you mean?
Narrator
I don't know.
Lillian
Maybe.
Ursula
Well, there was a kind of manic edge to him.
Ian
Manic how?
Narrator
Oh, sh.
Stella
It's starting.
Kira
Oh, it's so nice to have a slightly more relaxed start to the day. I do feel a bit guilty about having a lion when I know you've already been up for hours.
Pip
I don't mind.
Ursula
Oh, that's a cute painting.
Pip
Yeah, Rosie did it yesterday while Ben was babysitting. It's me.
Narrator
Very good.
Kira
Oh, but she's amazing. You look a bit sad, Pip.
Kirsty
Has she.
Martha
Hey.
Amber
Oh.
Narrator
Oh, Pip, come here. What is it? What's wrong?
Pip
I don't know. I mean, I know I don't have breast cancer. Well, at least I didn't three weeks ago.
Kira
Which means you don't.
Pip
But my body can't let go of the fear. I want to be tested for the BRCA gene variant.
Kira
Then I think you should be.
Pip
I can't have the test unless Mum tests points positive. And Mum is behaving like we have all the time in the world and I just don't get it. She was younger than I am now when she had her mastectomy and I might already be living on borrowed time.
Kira
Okay, tell me what you want.
Pip
I want to know for sure. Because if there is anything I can do to make my chances even a little bit better, I want to do it.
Kira
Yeah, I'd feel the same. And, well, I've been doing some research too. I looked into private testing. At three in the morning? Yeah. They send you the test, you send it back to the lab. Bit like those family ancestry kits. A spit in a pot kind of thing.
Pip
So you buy it on the Internet. Well, you know what Mum and Dad are going to say about that?
Kira
Well, I mean, they'd be right to be cautious, but lots of companies say seem legit and you get the results pretty quickly.
Pip
I bet it cost a fortune.
Kira
I can put it on my credit card.
Pip
Really?
Kira
Definitely.
Pip
But where do I start?
Kira
Well, have you thought about ringing a helpline?
Pip
Is there one?
Narrator
Let's see.
Kira
Find me a helpline to discuss BRCA testing for breast cancer.
Narrator
There you go.
Kira
I'll forward it to you. You could ring someone later today.
Pip
Okay. Yeah, it's a good idea.
Kira
I wish I didn't have to go in. I'd rather be here with you.
Pip
Oh, I'll be fine. Honestly. The thought of talking this through with someone who properly knows their stuff makes me feel better. Less bad, anyway.
Ursula
So you want to talk about dad?
Ian
It's not that I want to. I think we have to.
Ursula
About dementia. I'm still worried about that.
Ian
It sounds like he's swinging from manic to low. And there's his confusion, his inconsistency. It all points to a worrying pattern.
Ursula
When he was getting annoyed yesterday, asking me to repeat things. I wonder if he just needs a hearing test. I mean, if he's missing things. If things sound muffled, that would add to his confusion.
Ian
But it wouldn't explain everything. Obviously, Brian's health is the major concern for all of us, but we can't afford to start losing income because of the crazy decisions he's making.
Ursula
Will it come to that?
Ian
I'll be frank. Yes, absolutely. You realize he could finalize this. This bonkers caravan storage deal any day.
Lillian
Then what do we do?
Ian
We need an intervention.
Ursula
Like what? We ask him to retire again?
Ian
Something like that. But we formalize it at the partnership meeting with all of us on board.
Ursula
I don't Know it feels like we're plotting behind his back.
Ian
Look, if Brian was okay, then I'd share your unease. He's borderline aggressive. At the mere hint from anyone that he might need to let go of
Ursula
power, he's not aggressive.
Ian
If one of us raises concerns, he'll bang his fist on the table and silence us. That's why. Why we need to present as a united front. Kate and Debbie are with me, but we need you.
Anna
All right.
Ursula
Okay.
Ian
You support me.
Ursula
Yes. I just. I hope he'll listen to us. Stop trying to pretend everything's fine and accept help.
Stella
Hey, you two.
Ursula
Oh, how's life behind the scenes at Great Gables, Ian?
Stella
Oh, well, pretty good, actually. I just had a meeting with Oliver and Andrew. Looking at the new acting manager.
Narrator
Oh, congratulations.
Kirsty
That's amazing, Ian.
Ursula
Oh, so well deserved.
George
Thank you.
Stella
I'd like to invite you both to a celebratory lunch in my office Chef special.
Narrator
Oh, gosh, I wish I could, but
Ursula
I'm leading a hack at lunchtime.
Den
Are we talking with a beef loin?
Stella
I was thinking more of an off menu special of microwave beans on my butter toast.
Ian
Actually, that sounds fantastic.
Oliver
Good.
Stella
Meet me in reception at 1.
Brad
Hello? Hi, this is the Hereditary Cancer Support helpline. My name's Kitty.
Pip
Oh, I'm Pip.
Brad
How can I help you today, Pip?
Pip
Okay, well, I had a cyst, but before I knew that, I thought it was cancer because my mum had breast cancer. So at 31 and I'm already 33. And now we're thinking about the possibility that my mum has the BRCA gene and if she has that, I might too. But everyone keeps telling me I've had the all clear and expects me to be relieved, but I'm not. I'm actually feeling like crying most of the time.
Brad
Yeah, I understand you've had a scare. BRCA gene variant testing has been mentioned and there's lots of information flying around with no clear answers.
Pip
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.
Brad
Then I'm pleased you found our helpline and I'll do my best to answer your questions.
Pip
Okay, so the first thing I don't get is that if they think it's worth testing my mum, why aren't I entitled to a test?
Brad
I know it might seem unfair, but at this stage, you're not eligible under NHS guidelines. That will change if your mum is found to have alterations to the BRCA 1 or 2 sheet. You and any siblings will then also be eligible for testing.
Pip
Yeah, but if my mum decides to have the test, she'll be on A waiting list. And she might not even go for it. And she hasn't decided yet.
Brad
It's a very personal decision.
Pip
Well, yes, it is and it isn't. I'm trying not to be annoyed with her, but she's holding it up for all of us.
Brad
You and your siblings?
Pip
Yeah, I've got two brothers. One's okay with mum testing and the other one doesn't want to know, which is probably why she's not getting on with it.
Brad
Everyone has to make a decision decision that's right for them. But feel free to pass on this number to your mum and brothers. It sounds like it might be helpful for you all to get more information while your mum makes her decision.
Pip
Yeah, or I can just forget the waiting lists and pay for a private test. I mean, I hate the thought of queue jumping or I thought I did, but I've got a daughter and.
Brad
Oh, it's all right. Take your time.
Pip
Look, I know that buying a test online is probably a bad idea, but I'm desperate.
Brad
Well, I can't recommend any particular online test, but I can give some advice on what to look out for to avoid scams and poor quality service.
Pip
Can you? Hang on, let me grab a pen.
Brad
Okay, look for lab accreditation. Read reviews, though. Take them with a pinch of salt as you would when buying anything online. Only order one that includes pre and post test counseling. And finally, check exactly what the gene panel is.
Pip
And can I just check? If my mum does have a mutation to her BRCA gene, then that means there's a 50% chance I've inherited it.
Brad
That's right. But we call it an alteration now, not a mutation. So that's a phrase you might see when you're reading about it.
Pip
And if I have it, there's the same 50% chance my daughter has it too?
Brad
Yes. These are all things the counsellor will talk through with you if you decide to go ahead and order a test.
Pip
But what if it comes back positive? Like what?
Brad
Then most likely the NHS will want to do their own test before offering any options. Would you like me to talk them through with you now?
Ian
Hmm. Gourmet beans on toast.
Stella
I'll let you know my secret. White sliced bread, salted butter, 10 beans.
Ian
Groundbreaking.
Stella
Better than a beef carpaccio with gherkin Moose.
Ian
It's close. Well, it's nice to celebrate. Maybe. This is our time manager of Grey Gables Home Farm. Within grass.
Stella
Although we must also remember to keep striving for our kindness badges.
Ian
Of course. But a taste of power would make a nice change from tinned beans.
Pip
So if I tested positive for the BRCA1 or 2 gene, what then?
Brad
At this stage, what's important to really take in and understand is that once you know the result of the test, you can't unknow it.
Pip
Yeah, but not knowing is tight.
Alan
Terrifying.
Brad
Look, have a think and discuss things with your fiance. You can always ring back if you have more questions.
Pip
Thanks. Really, it's been so great to talk to you.
Brad
Look after yourself.
Pip
Yeah, you too. Bye.
Kira
Bye.
Brad
All the best.
Kira
Was that the helpline?
Narrator
Yeah.
Pip
She was nice.
Kira
Sorry I missed it.
Anna
Tell me what they said.
Pip
Well, I've decided to go for it. To order a private test online.
Kira
Was that what they advised?
Pip
No, but she said plenty of people do it. I just have to be careful to check who I go with.
Kira
Okay.
Pip
I'll know in four to six weeks. If I'm negative, then Mum, Ben and Josh can do what they want.
Kira
And if it turns out you have the mutation?
Pip
Well, it's called a gene alteration.
Lillian
Right.
Kira
Well, what then?
Pip
Well, I deal with it.
Kira
But what exactly does that mean?
Pip
It depends. It's not like they force you to have surgery.
Narrator
You can just carry on being monitored for breast cancer.
Pip
Yeah. Though I think she said your ovaries are more tricky to monitor. Fewer symptoms.
Kira
Right, well, we'll worry about that if we need to. But for now what? We just choose the test and then order it?
Pip
Yeah, and there'll be a pre test counseling phone call.
Kira
Okay. And then are we telling your mum and dad about this?
Pip
No, not yet.
George
No.
Pip
I don't want them or Ben judging me for buying online. And I definitely can't handle Josh ringing up and shouting at me. I don't want to have to deal with what other people think. I just want to know.
Anna
Tea, Mom?
Narrator
Please.
Martha
Ruth. Oh, I said to Pip, I'll check on the grass this morning, but I'll sneak a biscuit if that's not too cheap.
Anna
Have as many as you like, Ruth. Take some for David. Though. Jill and Leonard have probably baked biscuits for Brookfield already this morning.
Martha
I wish. Jill hardly bix anymore. I think it's getting harder to stand for very long.
Anna
Well, get on one of those perch stalls Anna's been going on about.
Martha
Well, you missed a treat at the WI on Tuesday, Carol.
Anna
Oh, I was tired after my bat and beaver lessons. Cursed really is fascinating. I think my talk was pretty interesting too. I'm sure it was. But I already know your views on the legal system and this so called pandemic of violence.
Martha
You think it's Being exaggerated?
Anna
I didn't say that. I just think it's no different than it ever was. What's that?
Narrator
That flying saucer thing?
Martha
That's a drone. Belongs to George Grundy.
Anna
Have you got that Grandy boy spying on me now, Anna? Strangely enough, no.
Martha
They're filming for the county shore. Him and his fiance, Amber. They've got some great footage so far.
Anna
Well, I don't like it. It's like you'd see in a spy film.
Martha
How long are you staying for, Anna?
Anna
Oh, annoyingly, I have to be in court in the morning, so I'm heading home tonight. But I'll be back soon. There's no need. I'm perfectly fine. Fine on my own. I just worry that if something happens, I won't know until it's too late. You hardly ever answer your phone when I ring. I've got my pendant. Isn't that what it's for? My trusty alarm. But you're not wearing it. Well, why would I need to when you and Ruth are here? When I'm on my own, I'll wear it. You promise? Ruth, have you forgotten about Pip's grass by the. You might as well have had a cup of tea if you're staying anyway.
Martha
No, you're right.
Narrator
I better get going.
Anna
Oh, the side gate should be open.
Ursula
Great.
Martha
Hope you have a smooth journey home, Anna.
Narrator
Bye, Carol.
Anna
Thanks again.
Lillian
Bye.
Anna
Bye, Ruth.
Pip
Bye.
Anna
You know, you could come back to Warwick with me until your grab rails are fitted. No, thank you. I'm very happy here. Then you have to wear your pendant all the time. I never said I would.
Narrator
Wouldn't.
Anna
And another thing. Have you been sleeping downstairs? What do you mean? Your bed's not been slept in. I changed it and it hasn't been touched. The noise from the attic was keeping me awake. I thought it might be rats for a moment. I was worried they might fall through the ceiling and chew on my face. Oh, but you're not worried about the bats? No. And yet you're still not sleeping in your bed. That's right, Poirot. Because I like sleeping on the sofa. Watching telly helps me nod off. And if I wake in the night, I make myself a cup. Mum, just be honest with me. Are the stairs too much for you?
Lillian
No.
Anna
And are you getting washed down here, too?
Narrator
Oh, really, Anna.
Anna
That's none of your business. Why don't you think again about a little respite? Stay at the Laurels. Just one, while you get back on your feet. It might be nice to have a lovely bedroom. On the ground floor with an ensuite. You'd have to drag me there kicking and screaming. Oh, well, then it's back to looking into stairlifts. Why not see if you can get the council to find a helicopter for me? What are they doing? Practicing. At this time of day? Do you want to go in? No. No, I don't. I like it. They do sound a bit off. Not like normal.
Pip
Hi, Mum.
Kira
Hi.
Martha
I was gonna do that. Pip just got caught longer than expected at Carol Tregoran's.
Pip
It's fine. Anyway, turns out you're right. Being busy definitely helps to keep your mind from spiraling.
Martha
Do you feel like you're spiraling?
Anna
No.
Pip
No, I was being dramatic.
Martha
I can take over now if there's anything else you need to do.
Pip
Oh, actually, that would be great. I have to drop Rosie's lunch off at school.
Kira
Oh, no.
Martha
Did she forget it again?
Pip
Well, actually, it's not her fault. I forgot to even make it.
Martha
I'm not surprised. You look tired.
Pip
I'm okay.
Martha
I know what you need. A proper night out with Stella after the stress and drama of the last few weeks. Why don't you go and see a film and get something to eat? I'll babysit Rosie.
Pip
Thanks, but actually, all I want to do is get in my pajamas as soon as Rosie's home and watch kids films with her.
Martha
Then at least let me bring over some dinner for the three of you. See if you're having to cook.
Pip
I don't need cooking for. And Stella's going to the quiz at the Bull with Hannah.
Martha
Then can't you go with them? It'll do you good.
Pip
I already said I want a quiet night in with Rosie.
Martha
But remember, Rosie might have other ideas. Quiet isn't exactly her style.
Pip
But then I'll have a noisy night in. Is that all right?
Anna
Are these the photos you wanted? Let me see. Oh, yes. Where did you find them? Oh, at the back of the second bedroom, under bags of clothes, Christmas decorations and an old suitcase full of pottery. I haven't seen some of these for decades. Mum, if you stayed at the Laurels for even a few days, I could tidy up here. At the same time as the grab rails are being fitted, you'd come home to a house transformed. I don't want my house transformed. You didn't want Pip to do the garden at first and now you're happy with it. Cutting back some long grass is hardly the same as taking over the house. And I don't want to go to the Laurels. It's Cloying. Peggy liked it there. If I like the same things as Peggy, I'd have married Jack Woolley and have an old lady hairstyle. Peggy was always the height of glamour. Who's in this photo? Let me see. A young man in a suit. Oh, is it James? That's him. James Bellamy. I don't want it. You can throw it out. That's a bit harsh. Well, I'll do it, then. Give it here. No point hoarding things. That boy was always my least favorite godchild. Oh, Richard. Look at him, Anna. Yeah. Now, if he was alive, he wouldn't be trying to stuff me in a nursing home. I'm not trying to stuff you in a nursing home. That's probably exactly what Richard would have done, since he never seemed that eager to visit. Can you find me all the photos of Richard so I can make an album to keep beside me? Well, there you go, Mum. You can do that yourself while I check on the lasagnas and beef pies.
Martha
That looks very much like a Leonard baking an avocado stack sandwich.
Pip
It is. He insisted on making it for me.
Martha
How come Leon is allowed to feed me daughter when she's feeling under the weather and I'm not?
Pip
I'm tired. Not under the weather.
Martha
You could afford me.
Oliver
Can you stop?
Pip
Mum.
Narrator
I wasn't getting it.
Lillian
You.
Pip
It sounds like you are.
Martha
What's wrong? This is about me getting tested.
Narrator
I don't know.
Ursula
Maybe.
Martha
I know you're worried and not knowing. It's hard that you have to wait for my result. But if anyone thought you were high risk, you'd be referred to based on statistical risk.
Pip
No one knows what's actually happening inside me.
Lillian
True.
Pip
Do you know you can buy private tests on the Internet?
Ursula
I do.
Martha
Of course I do. But I can wait. And I trust the NHS more than I trust some firm set up to make money out of vulnerable people.
Narrator
That's not always the look, Pip.
Martha
It's hard. But right now, all you can do is control what you can control. So if I were you, I'd try to focus on the good things. You have a wedding to plan.
Pip
You know, if I thought Rosie might have the gene, I'd have a test in a heartbeat if I was offered one. Are you holding off because of Josh?
Martha
No.
Narrator
Definitely not.
Martha
Of course I'm interested in what he thinks. I want to listen to all of you. But in the end, I need to be sure that I'm making the right decision for myself.
Anna
Sorry, Mum, that was the chambers. I'll have to leave sooner than I thought. Oh, don't apologize on my account. Right, I've put bedding at the end of the sofa, so at least you'll be comfy until we get something more permanent. Sorted. Where's your pendant? Oh, I don't know. Put it down somewhere. Mum, I'm not leaving unless you have it. Do you ever think about what it's actually like for me that I can't pop home in my lunch break to check on you? That's a blessing. But are you listening to me? I'm really listening. Wearing your pendant is the bare minimum. And it would be good if you answered your phone once in a while. Well, if you stop ringing me so much, you won't have to worry about me not answering. Well, if you won't even wear a pendant, then I'm going to look into getting cameras installed. At least then I'll know if you've fallen down the stairs. No cameras. Fine. Then I'll have to move to Ambridge myself. No. I'm tired, Mum. Well, then leave. I'm not asking you to tie yourself in. Not sorting out my life. I'm fine. Brook Fielder there if I need them. And Alan. Yes, it's really kind of them all to be on call in an emergency. But in the end, making sure you're okay isn't Ruth and David's responsibility. It's mine. Well, who was that? Chambers again. I'll call them back in a minute. Well, go on, get going. I'm going to spend a quiet afternoon sorting through these photos of Richard. Ok. I'll ring them back after I've portioned up the food and put it in the freezer. I'll leave one out on the side for tonight. Which you prefer, lasagna or pie? I'd actually prefer custard creams for my dinner. I'll leave out the pie.
Lillian
Mm.
Anna
You know, I was talking to Helen Archer yesterday about your WI talk.
Lillian
Oh.
Anna
She was saying how brilliant it was and that I must be very proud. And what did you say? Well, I said, she's my daughter. Of course I'm proud of her.
George
I'm really annoyed, actually. David thought the reel I'd put together was brilliant. Even you thought it was pretty good.
Amber
It was.
George
So how come I'm hardly getting any views?
Amber
Have you done all the things I said you should do? Like the time you post matters. And that might change on different days. See? You posted this in the afternoon. I said to wait for the evening when everyone's online.
George
It's not like it disappears, though. They could still look at it in
Amber
the evening, but really it does disappear. If you time it wrong, it kind of dies. The algorithm knows no one is seeing it and it loses momentum.
Martha
Also.
Pip
What?
Amber
The star is all wrong. He left it with the music and the slow shot of Fields.
George
Yeah, because it's arty.
Amber
I suggested you have a big punchy opening. Something incredible is coming to farmland near you. You have to stop people from scrolling past. Oh, and what are these hashtags? They're way too generic.
George
Alright, alright. What if I say I got some things wrong and I need you?
Amber
Then I'll be happy to help.
George
I just don't want you to talk to me as if I'm stupid.
Amber
I don't think you're stupid. I can't milk cows or fly the drone, but I'm not going to pretend I can't do something I'm good at just to massage your fragile man ego.
George
You know what? You sound like a feminist.
Amber
Is that supposed to be an insult? Surely you're a feminist too, George. Because if you're not, what are you?
George
What do you mean?
Amber
If you're not a feminist, then Are you saying you don't believe in equal rights for women? Equal opportunities?
George
No. I mean, I do. I just don't want it shoving in my face all the time. Because really, if you look at posts online, it's obvious most feminists nowadays are anti men. Everything's blamed on us. It's getting ridiculous.
Amber
Alright, I suggest you stop before you lose a fiance and a business partner. In fact, what would be really great is if you actually stopped being defensive for a minute and helped us.
George
Who am I helping?
Amber
Women, obviously.
Narrator
But to do what?
Amber
I don't know. To make the world better, make things more fair. It's like the speaker at the WI was saying the other day, Anna Tregoran. There are inequalities in health, in finances, even city planning, and all the stuff about the law. Oh, she knows so much.
George
That woman has a lot to answer for.
Lillian
Oh, there you go again.
Amber
Instead of being so negative, why don't you help call out toxic male behavior when you see it?
George
Hi. Don't forget, I chased that creep in Borchester Station who was upskirting that woman. I don't just call it out, I avenge it.
Amber
So you'll join the not in my name pledge then?
Narrator
The what all okay here?
Amber
Yeah, George was just asking about those white ribbons the WI left on the bar. How does he donate?
Kirsty
Oh, well, money in the box, George. And help yourself to a ribbon. It's Wonderful. You're supporting the cause.
George
No worries.
Alan
Here you go.
Amber
Let me pin it on for you. There. Now you are a proper ally.
Eric
Ah, Kirsty, there you are. Rex said he thought you were in the office.
Lillian
No, I'm just heading there now. I'm just about finished. Once I've logged the results of this butterfly survey and I'm done for the day.
Narrator
Want to walk with you?
Lillian
Of course. I'm gonna pop in to let Carol Tregorin know how I got on. She was so interested in everything. Did I tell you she's got bats in her attic?
Eric
That euphemism.
Lillian
Actually, she's as sharp as anything, but getting frail, I suppose.
Eric
Well, that's not surprising, is it? She's about 150.
Lillian
I think her daughter's really worried about her. She doesn't live nearby, so it gets tricky sometimes to know what's best. I'm grateful my parents always seem to be so robust, healthy. Oh, no, Our baby's gonna have two ancient parents to look after.
Eric
Well, or maybe they'll hardly get to see us at all because we'll be off adventuring all the time.
Lillian
What, together?
Eric
Yeah, if you want.
Lillian
Did Rex show you the Campbell set up in the storeroom? No, so I can have a cheeky afternoon nap. Any day that we've not got workshops on, I disappear for half an hour. Otherwise I feel like a zombie.
Eric
Yeah, well, you are making a whole new human.
Lillian
Exactly.
Eric
I don't want to leave.
Lillian
It's all right.
Eric
I wouldn't if I didn't have to.
Lillian
I know, but it really is fine. Though it has been brilliant having you around. Haven't laughed as much in ages.
Eric
Since Belgium. That man with the chocolate moustache.
Narrator
Moustache, Moustache.
Eric
I really meant it, you know, when I said I'd support you.
Lillian
I know you did.
Eric
And not just financially, because you're great.
Anna
Thanks. I'm pregnant.
Lillian
I know.
Eric
But also really amazing.
Lillian
Eric, Are you okay?
Eric
Yeah.
Narrator
But
Eric
I wanted to ask. Will you marry me?
Martha
What?
Lillian
You idiot.
Narrator
Oh, sorry.
Lillian
You're not joking.
Eric
No. Okay, look, I've done it all wrong. Should I be on one knee?
Narrator
Hang on, hang on.
Eric
I should have got you a ring at least. Here, look, there's a twig. Okay, this will have to do for now until I get organized. If I twist it into a circle. Hang on.
Lily
There we go.
Eric
A ring. Now, will you marry me, Kirsty Miller?
Lillian
I'll have the twig ring. It's just my style. I don't need to marry you.
Eric
Really?
Narrator
Really.
Lillian
Oh, I'VE been there. I'm never going there again. I think you're great too. Fun. And you're lovely.
Eric
You're definitely much lovelier.
Lillian
Let's just see how things go. Be there for our baby. That's the main thing.
George
Alright, so what you're saying is if I follow this plan, dates, times, hashtags, everything, then the algorithm is more likely to keep putting my posts in front of people.
Amber
Yeah. There's no point having the perfect reel that nobody sees.
George
Okay. And you think we'll be able to work together from now on without falling out?
Narrator
Absolutely.
Amber
We just have to recognize our separate strengths and play to them. Not just for this agricultural show. Be even more important.
George
When the baby's born, I'll teach it to play cricket. And you can change its nappies.
Narrator
I don't know about that.
Amber
I've got a feeling you'll be the master nappy changer. Award winning. They'll call you the diaper man when you fly in with your cape and your magic nappy rash cream.
George
Hey, you're not going to flatter me into doing the worst jobs.
Kirsty
One portion of chips, ketchup and two forks. Sorry about the wait.
Narrator
Thank you, Lillian.
Amber
Let me just move those.
Kirsty
What's this you're planning world domination?
George
Something like that.
Amber
It's actually our social media campaign for the Borchester show. George has been getting some absolutely stunning footage using the drone.
George
Brian invested in aerial shots of local farmland.
Amber
It was so kind of Brian to step up like that.
Martha
Yeah.
Kira
Yes, it's.
Kirsty
It really was.
Alan
All right.
Narrator
To the ball.
Rory
Have you got everything? Passport, phone charger?
Eric
Oh, no, charger's still plugged in beside the bed.
Lillian
Oh, here's the keys. I've got to go and grab it.
Eric
Yep. Thanks. I'll just be a minute.
Lillian
Okay. Hurry up.
Rory
I hear Eric proposed to you and you turned him down.
Lillian
Is that is what it told you? Because somehow that makes it sound way more harsh than it was.
Rory
He seems happy enough to be rejected.
Lillian
Oh, good. Well, that's what I thought. No marriage needed.
Rory
But you are going to need dependability. Getting married would guarantee you that. I. I know Eric is the fun brother, but he's. He's not famous for being responsible or reliable or around much.
Lillian
I'm well aware Eric is the king. King of footloose and fancy free. And actually, I hope this baby inherits some of his schwada vivre. It's not a bad trait to have in a world that's looking pretty bleak right now.
Rory
That's another thing. Logically Having a baby at a time like this makes no sense.
Kira
Right.
Narrator
Good.
Rory
You know, but when Phoebe had Peg, suddenly logic, well, it was completely inadequate. There she was, new new little human. And she made perfect sense. Got it.
Ian
Now, to the pub.
Eric
Farewell drinks are on me.
Rory
I'm driving you to the airport.
Lillian
And I'm pregnant.
Eric
Oh, brilliant, you two.
Narrator
Such cheap dates.
George
Here you go, Lillian. Or empties.
Kirsty
Oh, thank you, George.
George
It's nice to be alone in the bull again. And playing in the cricket team too.
Kirsty
Yes, well, we're very pleased to have you back. And I'm 100% sure you'll never find for one moment step out of line in here again.
George
I thought there might be an or else attached to that.
Kirsty
Oh, because that would be a threat. And I'm not usually in the business of making threats to young fathers to be good.
George
Oh, and Amber wants a dessert. The fruit pie, if you have it.
Kirsty
With cream, custard or ice cream.
George
Hold on, I'll go check.
Eric
Where do you want these, Lillian?
Kirsty
Oh, I'll take them. Thank you. Are you off then, Eric?
Eric
Yeah. Flying to Helsinki first thing in the morning. Staying at hotel at the airport tonight.
Kirsty
It's all right for sound.
Rory
I would hate that life. Cramped flights and vast conference rooms. Ooh, people talking.
Lillian
These two are chalk and cheese, Lillian.
Narrator
And both completely adorable.
Rory
We better get off, eric. We said 5:30.
Narrator
Yep.
Ian
Okay.
Eric
Come here, Kirsty. Gonna miss you.
Lillian
Oh, I'll miss you too.
Kirsty
Oh, so sweet.
Alan
Bye, Lillian.
Anna
Bye.
Lillian
Drive carefully, Yakov.
Rory
I will.
Kirsty
Don't you worry.
Lillian
He always does.
Anna
Oh, hey, Amber.
Narrator
You okay? I'm not sure.
Amber
I keep getting these weird feelings, like flutters. And I wonder if it could be baby. Maybe. I can't really tell if it's. If it's just something else or I'm imagining it.
Lillian
Oh, was that the fluttering again?
Amber
Kind of, but.
Narrator
But more. More certain.
Amber
I. I really think that was a little kick.
Narrator
Oh, Amber. Can you believe it, Kirsty? The baby's actually kicking. Sorry, you hardly know me.
Amber
And now I'm holding your hands and crying in the pub toilet.
Lillian
Oh, that's really exciting. It's beautiful, Amber. Cubicles, dryers, a dripping tap and a baby's first kick. Maybe you should go and tell the baby's dad the good news.
Amber
Yes.
Narrator
Yes, I'll go and tell George it. Sam, could you talk about being invisible or double denim?
Anna
Who knows what's next on the new
Narrator
series of Just a Minute. Belting out a rendition of Golden.
Anna
Whatever the topic, our panel has just a minute to speak without hesitation, deviation or repetition. Join Zoe Lyons, Desiree Burch, Paul Merton and many more for the new series of Just a Minute With Me, Sue Perkins.
Narrator
It's funny because it's True.
Anna
Listen on Radio 4 and the full box set is available now on BBC Sounds.
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Podcast: The Archers Omnibus
Host: BBC Radio 4
Episode: 17/05/2026 (aired May 16, 2026)
Theme: The week’s events in Ambridge, focusing on community life, family tensions, village initiatives, and personal challenges.
This episode of The Archers Omnibus weaves together community celebrations and family dramas set in the rural village of Ambridge. The storyline centers on Rogation Sunday, cricket matches, family relationships (especially intergenerational conflicts and responsibilities), anxieties around hereditary illness, and the empowerment of women within the community. Major plotlines revolve around changes at Home Farm and Grey Gables, Kirsty and Amber’s pregnancies, social media squabbles, and the emotional fallout from potential genetic risks.
This omnibus episode of The Archers paints a rich tapestry of Ambridge life, intertwining tradition, modernity, personal dilemmas, and collective action. Major themes include facing difficult change (from power shifts at Home Farm to family illness and risky futures), the evolving understanding of gender, the challenge of equal partnership, and the importance of support—whether among friends, family, or neighbors.
The episode provides both gentle humor and realism, allowing the listener to engage deeply with the lived experiences of a beloved rural community in flux.