Summary4 min read

The Art of Sales with Art Sobczak

Episode 320: “Don’t Lose Her!” (And Other Terrible Sales Advice We Tell Ourselves)
Date: October 6, 2025
Host: Art Sobczak

Episode Overview

In this episode, Art Sobczak tackles the topic of negative assumptions and unconscious self-sabotage in sales, using a vivid softball anecdote to illustrate how “bad advice” – whether from others or ourselves – shapes our outcomes. Through real-world sales examples, Art breaks down common forms of counterproductive thinking, shares memorable moments from his experience, and stresses the importance of approaching every call and prospect without the mental baggage of pre-conceived notions.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Power and Peril of Suggestion

Art opens with a personal story of his daughter pitching in a high-pressure softball game and the unhelpful advice, “Don’t lose her!” shouted from the stands.
Insight: Negative phrasing directs focus toward the thing we want to avoid, unintentionally making it more likely.
- “People focus and often act on what is suggested to them and what we think about.” (02:25)
- Example: Telling yourself, “Don’t think about pizza,” makes you think about pizza.

Assumptions: The Salesperson’s Trap

Art shares a story about returning a call from a vague, slurred voicemail and assuming it would be a waste of time, only to discover it was a major decision-maker wanting his services.
- “I dialed the number thinking this boy was I wrong. About a minute into the call, I was shocked to learn that this guy was actually a highly placed decision maker in a big company and wanted to hire me to do some training.” (05:15)

How Assumptions Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Negative assumptions alter the energy and effectiveness of sales outreach, often becoming self-fulfilling.
Example: Assuming a particular list of prospects is "no good" leads to lackluster calls and, predictably, poor results.
- Quote: “Our sales call becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.” (06:52)

Common Areas Where Sales Assumptions Sabotage Success

1. Lead Sources

Just because a lead type (e.g., trade show, web) yields some uninterested prospects, does not mean it lacks quality.
“One gold strike can make mining through some of that sludge worthwhile.” (09:12)

2. Company Names and Appearances

Don’t judge prospects by business names that sound unimpressive (“& Associates,” “Enterprises”). Successful deals happen with these companies, too.

3. Geographic and Demographic Bias

Stereotypes like “the South isn’t a good territory” or “East Coast people are rude” are toxic and usually refuted by top sales producers who simply make more calls and get results.

4. Job Titles

Never assume decision-making power from job titles—good salespeople always investigate the real buying process.

5. Inherited Call History and Negative Notes

Warnings and grievances in account notes (“she’s a real witch”) may keep you from forming your own, unbiased approach. Take previous reps’ remarks with skepticism, especially if they weren’t successful.

6. Time-Based Excuses

“No one buys before or after holidays; mornings are bad for decisions; everyone leaves on Fridays.” Top producers ignore these and find opportunities precisely when others assume there are none.
“Funny, I never hear these assumptive excuses from top sales producers. That's because they're too busy on the phone proving the assumptions false.” (11:54)

7. Prospect Voice and Demeanor

Snap judgments based on how someone sounds are frequently wrong, especially with self-made or entrepreneurial decision-makers.
“If you write these people off within a couple seconds of hearing their voice, you might also be tossing away some easy and profitable sales.” (13:50)

8. Intimidating Personalities

Don’t be daunted by gruff, fast-talking voices or certain accents; stick to your strategic approach instead of letting stereotypes trip you up.

Art’s Bottom Line Advice

Assume Success:
- “If you gotta assume anything, let it be that your next call will be your best ever.” (15:23)
Doubt Limitations:
- “If you have to doubt anything, doubt limitations, you're going to see better results.”
Focus on Actions, Not Thoughts:
- Shift from negative mental patterns to positive action-oriented thinking.

Memorable Quotes and Moments

Art on the folly of negative advice:
- “Just once I wanted to see her…walk over to the fence and say, hey, thanks for that piece of brilliant advice. I was considering walking this batter after ringing up two strikes on her, but now I'm not because of your profound suggestion.” (02:02)
Earl Weaver’s Wisdom:
- Art closes with a quote from legendary baseball manager Earl Weaver:
  - “I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn't going to win any more games by being anything else.” (16:00)

Important Timestamps

Personal anecdote and point about negative suggestions: 00:24–03:45
Pizza example and focusing on what not to do: 03:46–04:20
Assumptions and the voicemail story: 04:21–05:55
Dangers of self-fulfilling prophecies in sales: 06:00–07:30
Common areas for sales assumptions, with examples: 07:31–14:00
Overcoming negative sales thinking: 14:01–15:35
Optimism and the Earl Weaver quote: 16:00

Takeaways for Sellers (and Everyone!)

Refrain from letting negative suggestions—your own or others’—dictate your actions.
Challenge every assumption by engaging with prospects openly and curiously.
Success comes from approaching each opportunity with optimistic action, not limiting beliefs.
Next time you catch yourself thinking “don’t,” reframe it into a positive or actionable outlook.

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Transcript2 lines

[00:03]
A
You are listening to the Art of Sales. Everyone sells every day and this is your source for conversational real world sales and prospecting methods that you are comfortable using and that get results you'll help people buy instead of pushing them into being sold. Here's your host, Art Sobchak.
[00:24]
B
Having been in business for a while, actually having been alive for quite a while, I've had the opportunity to have a lot of experiences in life. I've been broke before. Yeah, when I first started my business, actually broke was my next goal, up from negative net worth. I regularly give workshops to groups ranging from a few people up to several thousand people. I've risked hundreds of thousands of dollars of my own money on business decisions. But you know what? None of that was as nerve wracking as when my daughter was on the pitcher's mound at the state high school softball tournament years ago. And what absolutely used to drive me nuts was when she'd have two strikes on a batter and maybe throw a ball or two and someone in the stands would yell, don't lose her. How dumb is that? I mean, luckily she was focused and didn't pay much attention to what was going on in the stands, and she was way too polite for that. But just once I wanted to see her or some pitcher in the same situation walk over to the fence and say, hey, thanks for that piece of brilliant advice. I was considering walking this batter after ringing up two strikes on her, but now I'm not because of your profound suggestion. Anyway, there is a sales point here and it's about negative suggestions and thoughts and assumptions usually coming true. People focus and often act on what is suggested to them and what we think about. So if you tell someone what not to do and then they think about, you guessed it, doing it, hey, right now, don't think about pizza. Okay? How was that? When a weekend golfer stands over a shot that has to carry over water and he thinks, oh please don't go in the lake, he might as well just throw the ball in the water and save the embarrassment of the swing. The same thing is true with sales. What we focus on becomes our reality. You're probably familiar with that old saying about assumptions, never assume because it makes an ass out of you and me, right? If you're normally making assumptions regarding your sales, especially the functions that you're performing by phone, I assure you that you're also flushing sales down the drain. I returned a call to a guy who simply left his name, no company on my voicemail with no message other than to call him back and his tone sounded as if he was. He was suffering through a major hangover and he was slurring his words. And I checked my database, I didn't see him in there. And I'm thinking, okay, well it's probably a non customer who either wants to pick my brain and not buy anything, or a salesperson who's going to end up maybe giving me some material for the podcast here, so what a waste this is going to be. And I dialed the number thinking this boy was I wrong. About a minute into the call, I was shocked to learn that this guy was actually a highly placed decision maker in a big company and wanted to hire me to do some training. And luckily I recovered nicely in order to salvage the call. But the experience reminded me of the potentially disastrous assumptions that we sometimes make as salespeople. Assumptions are dangerous because they put us in a frame of mind where we've already made a conclusion, one based on incomplete or erroneous information. And after you've made that conclusion, normally you're not going to go out of your way to contradict it. Worse, our subsequent actions validate and reinforce the assumption. Our sales call becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. For example, picture a sales rep saying this list of chiropractors is no good. They don't want to talk to us. And when they do, all they want to do is beat us down on price. And guess what? On the very next call, that sales rep gets a question on price and he filters it through his negative mindset. It's just a price shopper looking for a freebie. So then the sales rep acts indignantly and blows any chance at a sale. So he turns to the person next to him and says, see, just got another cheapskate. Told you this list wasn't any good. So let's look at some areas where salespeople make assumptions, especially as they relate to, let's say, prospecting and sales using the phone first lead sources. I mean, who amongst us hasn't called a lead only to have the prospect say, huh, what? I never replied to anything like that. Now, if you get a few of those in a row, of course your outlook can be a little bit tainted. The same can be said for maybe trade show leads, or business reply cards or web leads and so on. So keep this point in mind. One gold strike can make mining through some of that sludge worthwhile. Plus, if you're working from any type of inquiry list, your odds are always better than going through some type of cold or compiled list. I know a Few sales reps who beg for the inactive and the orphaned accounts that no one else wants. And they've made a very comfortable living off of those company names. What do you think of when you see an individual's name followed by the word enterprises or and associates? Well, some people feel that it's just a wannabe business operated out of somebody's bedroom. Well, maybe, but we can't be so sure. As you listen to this, salespeople are closing big sales to substantial operations with these types of names. Next, locations. Sales reps will make crazy comments like oh, the south isn't a good territory, they're not good buyers. Or yeah, that's not a great part of town. They couldn't afford what we have. Or you might have heard this before. People on the east coast, they're rude and intimidating. Again, assumptive salespeople usually get what they expect. How about job titles? Don't assume that a research assistant can't buy from you or that a VP can make the decision on her own. You still need to ask the questions to learn the buying process. Next, negative call histories and notes from other sales reps. If you've ever inherited the remains of an account record from sales reps who've moved on, you know what I'm talking about here. I mean, I've seen account notes that say things like, oh wow, she's a real witch. She won't give you any information. So what would that do to your call preparation and attitude? If you're a new sales rep and you read that. So the tendency is to approach the call with some hesitation. So instead view with skepticism everything negative that you see in notes that weren't your own. Especially if the rep isn't there or if they were fired or if they weren't doing well. After all, if they were doing great, they'd probably still be there, right? Making a fortune next time of day or the week or the month or the year. For example, mornings are bad for decisions or people are on vacation in the summer, everyone leaves on Fridays. No one buys before or after the holidays. Wine, wine, wine. Funny, I never hear these assumptive excuses from top sales producers. That's because they're too busy on the phone proving the assumptions false. How about the sound of their voice? What image comes to mind when you hear a prospect answer the phone and sounds like Elmer Fudd on Valium? Yeah, I'm amazed that people who sound like this can climb their way up to decision making positions. But it happens. Especially true with entrepreneurial, self made millionaires whose advancement relies much more on results than image. Now, if you write these people off within a couple seconds of hearing their voice, you might also be tossing away some easy and profitable sales. Conversely, how about the fast talking, gruff sounding individuals who give the impression that they rank your status just slightly below the Uber Eats delivery person? So are there certain personalities or accents or tones of voice that intimidate you and reduce you to a shivering puppy? Get over those assumptions and stereotypes and focus on executing your well planned strategy. So bottom line here, if you got to assume anything, let it be that your next call will be your best ever. And if you have to doubt anything, doubt limitations, you're going to see better results. All right. Hey, you know what time it is? That's right. It's time for the quote of the day. Today's quote comes from legendary baseball manager Earl Weaver. And Earl said, I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn't going to win any more games by being anything else. Alright, so hey, if you're getting value from this show, would you please do myself, or actually more importantly a colleague a favor and let them know about it, Somebody who would benefit as well. Send them to our show site, theartofsales.com theartofsales.com they will appreciate you. And I already do. Hey, until next time, thank you for investing your valuable sales time with me today. Go out and make it your best sales day ever. I'm Arts Upchak.