Mr. Ratburn and the Special Someone

Summary

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The Arthur Podcast

Episode 306: "Mr. Ratburn and the Special Someone"

Host: Arthur Read (with Buster, Francine, and friends)
Release Date: December 14, 2023
Produced by: GBH Kids & Gen-Z Media for PBS Kids

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Arthur and his friends embark on a dramatic quest: to stop their teacher, Mr. Ratburn, from marrying someone they believe might change him for the worse. Their misguided mission is filled with humor, friendship, and a heartwarming twist, all set against the backdrop of their very first experience attending a wedding.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

1. A Mysterious Wedding Announcement

• The episode opens with Arthur, Buster, and Francine on a mission to "stop a wedding" (00:32).
• Mr. Ratburn suddenly tells his class he's getting married (01:45).
• The students are shocked:
  • Francine: “Yeah, teachers don’t get married. It’s just wrong.” (01:54)

2. Concerns About Patty

• The kids worry Mr. Ratburn's change in status could lead to a stricter school life.
• They see Mr. Ratburn with a woman named Patty, who quickly makes a negative first impression with her bossy demeanor and perfect standards (02:16–03:29).
  • Patty: “You’re too soft, Nigy. Too easygoing. We need to toughen you up.” (03:29)
• Francine’s fear: “If Mr. Ratburn married Patty, our lives would be toast.” (03:59)
• Arthur jokes: “Unbuttered toast, like she ordered and sent back twice.” (04:07)

3. ‘Operation: Stop the Wedding’ Phase 1—The Secret Admirer Chocolates

• The kids devise a plan to distract Mr. Ratburn with chocolates from a “secret admirer.” (04:27–06:43)
  • Buster: “The chocolates won't be from us. We'll say they're from a secret admirer.” (05:01)
  • Patrick, the chocolatier, introduces his masterpiece: "Semi dark organic Mexican chocolate. Hazelnut flavored caramel and a hint of orange zest. I call it the Frida Kahlo." (06:10)
• The plan fails; Mr. Ratburn enjoys the chocolates but isn’t interested in finding the admirer (07:41).

4. ‘Operation: Stop the Wedding’ Phase 2—Matchmaking

• Next, they try to set up Mr. Ratburn with Ms. Turner, the librarian, believing they're the perfect match (08:14).
• They attempt to spark romance using a copy of "Love Poems by Pablo Neruda" (09:04–10:26).
  • Ms. Turner detects the students’ scheme: “I applaud your efforts to spread love, Francine. Here, try this book: A Beginner’s Guide to Writing Poetry.” (10:24)
• The matchmaking plan is also a flop.

5. On the Way to the Wedding—Kids React

• The group receives wedding invitations and heads to the ceremony, still planning to object for the good of their favorite teacher (10:42–13:10).
• They rehearse their heartfelt intentions:
  • Buster: “We care about our teacher, and he deserves to be happy.” (11:50)
  • Arthur: “To be with someone who is nice, kind, and fun.” (11:54)
  • Francine: “To be with someone who likes him just the way he is.” (11:57)

6. Wedding Day Twist—The Truth Revealed

• Upon arrival, Patty welcomes them, and the truth comes out: Patty is Mr. Ratburn’s sister, not his fiancée (13:24).
  • Patty: “Nothing is too good for my baby brother, Nigy.” (13:34)
• The real groom walks down the aisle—it’s Patrick the chocolatier! (13:52)
  • Francine: “It’s Patrick from the chocolate shop. We love that guy!” (13:52)
• Everyone is surprised and delighted, realizing their worries were unfounded.

7. Celebration and Heartfelt Closure

• The friends enjoy the wedding, cake, and dancing.
• Francine jokes: “If Patrick can make a chocolate wedding cake this delicious, he can surely sweeten Mr. Ratburn up, right? Well, I’m hitting the dance floor before Mr. Ratburn gives us a pop quiz on weddings.” (14:17)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Teachers Having Personal Lives:
  • Buster: “I assumed they went home to sharpen pencils, eat kale, and dream up homework assignments.” (01:59)
• Patty’s Perfectionism:
  • “Do you really want an A minus wedding? ... You’re too soft, Nigy.” (03:29)
• Teamwork Against ‘Evil’:
  • “We were united like superheroes against the forces of evil.” — Buster (04:27)
• Children’s Innocence:
  • Buster, on guacamole: “Guacamole looks like alien brains, but it tastes delicious.” (02:27)
• The Moment of Realization:
  • Patty: “Nothing is too good for my baby brother, Nigy.” (13:34) (The friends realize Patty isn’t marrying Mr. Ratburn.)
• Happy Ending:
  • Buster: “Yeah, he married a chocolate making genius.” (14:12)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Quote | |----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:32 | Kids introduce the “mission” to stop the wedding | | 01:45 | Mr. Ratburn reveals he’s getting married | | 02:16–03:29 | Patty’s characterization and kids’ fears | | 04:27–06:43 | Secret admirer chocolates plan in motion | | 07:41 | Chocolates plan fails, Mr. Ratburn unmoved | | 08:14–10:26 | Matchmaking Ms. Turner scheme and comedic poetry note | | 11:50–12:07 | Their rehearsed wedding objection | | 13:24–13:34 | Patty announces she’s Ratburn’s sister | | 13:52 | Patrick (the chocolatier) walks down the aisle with Mr. Ratburn | | 14:17 | Francine enjoys the wedding cake and gets ready to dance |

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Tone & Style

• Warm and humorous: The dialogue captures childhood earnestness and the playful tone Arthur fans know and love.
• Sincere: The kids’ concern for their teacher and sense of responsibility to help shines through.
• Gentle revelation: The episode delivers a sweet and progressive twist, maintaining inclusivity and kindness.

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Summary

Arthur, Buster, and Francine set out to “save” Mr. Ratburn from what they believe is a disastrous wedding. Through a series of comedic, failed plans involving chocolates and attempted matchmaking, the trio discovers that their fears were unfounded. In a heartwarming reveal, Mr. Ratburn marries Patrick, the genial chocolatier, not the intimidating Patty, who is actually his sister. The episode ends on a note of celebration, reminding listeners about acceptance, joy, and the importance of not jumping to conclusions about others’ happiness.

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Transcript

[PBS Kids Announcer]

From your friends at pbs kids.

[IKEA Sponsor]

Support for this podcast and the following message for parents comes from ikea. As a parent, you childproof everything. Well, almost everything. You may not have thought about one thing, and that's securing your dressers and chests to the wall. It helps avoid dangerous tip over accidents. Secure it from ikea. Working to create safer homes together.

[Arthur]

This is the Arthur Podcast. It's me, Arthur, and we're in the middle of an important mission right now. Buster, Francine and I are in my family's car on our way to a wedding.

[Buster]

Not just any wedding.

[Francine]

A wedding that we have to stop.

[Arthur]

Let us tell you how we got here. It all started on a totally normal day in school.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Good morning, class. Did everyone enjoy the reading on lichens and liverworts?

[Buster]

Oh, yeah. We should make it a movie.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Excellent. Then this pop quiz should be a breeze.

[Francine]

Oh, my.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Class, I do apologize, but I have to take this. Hello, Patty. I'm afraid I can't talk right now. Oh, flower arrangements. I was thinking of sunflowers. Yes, sunflowers do look a little silly, but, yes, peonies are lovely. Perhaps pink. Yes, white is more elegant. Okay, thank you, Patty.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

Bye.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Sorry, class. It was very rude of me to take that call, but it was important.

[Buster]

Are the flowers on the quiz, too?

[Mr. Ratburn]

No, they're for a wedding.

[Francine]

A wedding? Who's getting married?

[Mr. Ratburn]

Well, Francine, I am.

[Arthur]

Incredible, right, podcast people?

[Francine]

Yeah, 10 teachers don't get married. It's just wrong.

[Buster]

I'd never thought about what teachers did outside the classroom. I assumed they went home to sharpen pencils, eat kale, and dream up homework assignments.

[Arthur]

But the thing we're most worried about is who Mr. Ratburn is marrying.

[PBS Kids Announcer]

Patty.

[Francine]

She was trouble from the beginning.

[Buster]

We were at the Sugar bowl eating guacamole and chips. Then Mr. Ratburn walked in with someone.

[Arthur]

And that someone was Patty.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

Mmm.

[Buster]

Guacamole looks like alien brains, but it tastes delicious.

[Mr. Ratburn]

How about this table? Patty?

[Arthur]

It's Mr. Ratburn. He'll ask why we aren't doing homework.

[Francine]

Arthur, Buster, get under the table so he doesn't see us.

[Patty]

Oh, that one has better light. Nigy, let's sit there.

[Francine]

She called him Nyjee. That must be the person he's marrying.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

Buster. Shh.

[Buster]

I'll hide, Francine, but I will not let good chips go to waste.

[Mr. Ratburn]

The waiter is here.

[Ms. Turner]

What can I get you?

[Patty]

This is what I'd like. Green tea steeped for precisely three and a half minutes, an order of dry white toast, and some clean silverware. The spoon has spots.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Coffee for me, please.

[Ms. Turner]

Coming right up.

[Patty]

So, Nyjee, what did you think of the caterer we met?

[Mr. Ratburn]

That salmon moose he gave us was delicious.

[Patty]

I wouldn't feed it to a stray cat. And I don't even like cats. We'll keep looking.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Patty, not everything about the event has to be, well, perfect.

[Patty]

Aw, Nigel, do you really want an A minus wedding? I must confess, I expected more of you. You're too soft, Nigy. Too easygoing. We need to toughen you up.

[Francine]

Are you kidding me? Mr. Ratburn is too easygoing.

[Buster]

Tell that to my science test.

[Patty]

Nigy, you just leave everything to Patty.

[Buster]

Here you go.

[Ms. Turner]

Tea and coffee.

[Patty]

Oh, I said steep at three and a half minutes. This is two and three quarters.

[Francine]

We need to do something about was clear. If Mr. Rapper married Patty, our lives would be toast.

[Arthur]

Unbuttered toast, like she ordered and sent back twice.

[Francine]

She said she was gonna toughen Mr. Ratburn up. And we knew what that meant for us. More homework, more red pen, more tests and quizzes.

[Arthur]

And less of the good stuff like class parties and field trips.

[Buster]

We were united like superheroes against the forces of evil. We had one thing to do. Stop that wedding. I put our first big plan into action the next day.

[Arthur]

Okay, Buster, we're downtown. What's your big plan?

[Buster]

Candy.

[Arthur]

Buster, how is buying you candy gonna help us split up Mr. Ratburn and Patty?

[Buster]

Because we aren't buying candy for me. We're buying fancy chocolates for Mr. Ratburn.

[Arthur]

We are?

[Mr. Ratburn]

Yeah.

[Buster]

The chocolates won't be from us. We'll say they're from a secret admirer.

[PBS Kids Announcer]

Oh.

[Arthur]

If we give Mr. Wrapper and Chocolates from a secret admirer, he'll realize there's someone besides Patty that likes him.

[Buster]

Exactly. And he'll want to figure out who that person is. Just like I did when I had my secret admirer.

[Arthur]

Maybe Mr. Ratburn will even want to marry his secret admirer instead. Buster, you're a genius.

[Buster]

Well, we're on our way to a chocolate making genius. At least that's what my mom says. She says he's the best chocolatier in town. Smart and. And creative. Oh, here we are. Patrick's Chocolates.

[Patrick]

Welcome. Come on in.

[Buster]

Are you Patrick?

[Patrick]

Yep. My name, my store. I've got chocolates for any occasion. And I've also got chocolates just for people who love chocolate. Free sample?

[Arthur]

Always.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

Sure.

[Arthur]

What was that, Patrick?

[Francine]

And why was it so good?

[Patrick]

Semi dark organic Mexican chocolate. Hazelnut flavored caramel and a hint of orange zest. I call it the Frida Kahlo.

[Buster]

We'll take it.

[Patrick]

I'm so glad you liked it. Shall I gift wrap it, or. If it's just for you, I'll give you some napkins and a glass of milk.

[Arthur]

No, it's for our teacher.

[Patrick]

Teachers are some of my favorite people. I'll put a bow on it. May I ask what the occasion is?

[Buster]

We're trying to get him to fall in love with some.

[Patrick]

Hmm. I'm a big believer in the power of chocolate, but even I'm not sure it can make people fall in love.

[Arthur]

We're desperate.

[Patrick]

Gotcha. Well, then, I hope love wins. Here you go.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

Good luck.

[Buster]

Thank you.

[Francine]

Thanks.

[Arthur]

Nice guy.

[Buster]

Yeah. And a chocolate making genius.

[Arthur]

Let's give these chocolates to Mr. Ratburn tomorrow after school.

[Mr. Ratburn]

And that is how the water cycle works. Evaporation, condensation, precipitation. Okay, that's it for today, everyone. Book reports due tomorrow.

[Arthur]

Francine. Buster, you ready? Let's do it.

[Francine]

Mr. Ratburn, we found these chocolates for you in the coat room.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Really?

[Ms. Turner]

Aw.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Patrick's chocolates. How sweet.

[Buster]

They must be from a secret admirer who really likes you.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Quite so, Buster. Let's have one, shall we?

[PBS Kids Announcer]

Mmm.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Delicious. Here, you take the rest. I'm happy to share the sweetness.

[Francine]

But wait.

[Arthur]

Don't you want to know who your secret admirer is?

[Mr. Ratburn]

Some mysteries are meant to be enjoyed. Good luck with your book reports. I'm off to a wedding dance lesson.

[Arthur]

So our first plan was a bust, but we didn't give up.

[Francine]

We had one more idea.

[Buster]

To find Mr. Ratburn his perfect love match.

[Arthur]

And we did. Ms. Turner, the librarian.

[Francine]

They both love books and libraries and homework and books.

[Arthur]

We just needed to get them together.

[Buster]

Hey, Mr. Ratburn. There's a special exhibit at the library about liverwurst.

[Francine]

He means liverworts. The plant, not the sandwich meat. Anyway, want to go?

[Arthur]

That Ms. Turner, she makes the best exhibits.

[Mr. Ratburn]

I'd love to, but what with the wedding preparations, I'm too busy. Oh, but would you mind returning this library book for me?

[Arthur]

Uh, sure.

[Mr. Ratburn]

Thanks.

[Francine]

Bye, Mr. Ratburn.

[Arthur]

Well, that didn't work.

[Francine]

Maybe it still can. Look at the book he gave us.

[Buster]

Love Poems by Pablo Neruda.

[Francine]

Love poems? And he wants us to give it to Ms. Turner. Right.

[Buster]

Oh, you think it'll work?

[Francine]

Only one way to find out. Hi, Ms. Turner.

[Ms. Turner]

Well, hello, Francine. Can I help you?

[Francine]

I think maybe I can help you. Mr. Ratburn wanted me to return this book to you. There's a note in it, too. Oh, let me see.

[Ms. Turner]

My dear Ms. Turner, you are a book to Me? A book I can't put down? You won my hurt.

[Francine]

Uh, no, that's supposed to be heart.

[PBS Kids Announcer]

Ah.

[Ms. Turner]

Will you forever change my winkly frown? Winkly? Oh, you need the R there, wrinkly.

[Francine]

There's more.

[Ms. Turner]

Shine on me like the glowing moon above. And together we will build a library of love from Nigel Ratburn. My goodness. I think Mr. Ratburn knows how to spell library, not liberry. So I don't think this note really came from Nigel, but I applaud your efforts to spread love, Francine. Here, try this book.

[Francine]

A Beginner's Guide to Writing Poetry. Um, thanks.

[Ms. Turner]

Anytime, Francine.

[Francine]

Enjoy.

[Arthur]

So that play and didn't work either.

[Buster]

And then we all got our invitations to the wedding. So fancy.

[Francine]

So now we're on our way.

[Arthur]

This is the first wedding I've gone to. Podcast people, some of you have been to weddings. What should we expect here? I'm checking my inbox to see what you have to say.

[PBS Kids Announcer]

A wedding I went to was really fun. I got to watch my auntie be a Bride, and I was the flower girl. My dad's cousin was getting married, and a lot of my cousins were there, and we were dancing. First we were just jumping, but then we were actually dancing. I once went to a wedding, and.

[Arthur]

It was so fun.

[PBS Kids Announcer]

And there was a big white cake, and it was really special because my whole family was there.

[Arthur]

Sounds fun, but I don't think we're gonna have fun at this wedding.

[Francine]

No dancing or cake eating for us. We gotta stop this wedding.

[Buster]

Yeah. Our plan to object.

[Arthur]

We stand up during the ceremony and say, we object to this wedding.

[Buster]

I've seen it on tv.

[Francine]

I'm kind of nervous about doing it. But we planned out what we'll say, right?

[Buster]

We care about our teacher, and he deserves to be happy.

[Arthur]

To be with someone who is nice, kind, and fun.

[Francine]

To be with someone who likes him just the way he is.

[Buster]

For all these reasons, we object to this wedding. And the will jump away on a giant cricket.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

What?

[Buster]

Well, that's what happened on the Bionic Bunny episode when Bugman was marrying Slime Villa.

[Francine]

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

[Arthur]

The best we can hope for is that Mr. Ratburn will listen to us.

[Francine]

We're here. And there's Patty.

[Patty]

Oh, Arthur, Buster, and Francine. We're so glad you're here. Nigel considers his students to be part of his family. I guess that makes us family, too.

[Arthur]

Go on in.

[Buster]

Take your seats.

[Francine]

Okay, sure.

[Arthur]

Thanks. Well, podcast people, we're sitting and waiting for the wedding to begin. I'm Feeling pretty nervous. I mean, this objection thing is a big deal.

[Buster]

Hey, I thought the bride usually hid until the big moment when she walked down the aisle. How come Patty greeted us?

[Francine]

She probably doesn't trust anyone to do a good enough job. Look, now she's walking up to the front.

[Patty]

Welcome, friends. I'm so happy to be sharing this day with all of you, especially Nigel's third grade class.

[Buster]

Hello.

[Francine]

This is it. We should object. I'm raising my hand.

[Patty]

Oh, goodness, a hand. Just like at school. Yes, Francine.

[Francine]

Yeah, we want to go on. You can say anything you want.

[Arthur]

We, we, we, we think this tent looks beautiful. Thanks for having us.

[Patty]

Thank you. It's not easy to find this shade of eggshell, but nothing is too good for my baby brother, Nigy.

[Arthur]

Baby brother. But if Patty's his sister, then who.

[Francine]

Is Mr. Ratburn marrying?

[Buster]

I can't see who's walking down the aisle.

[Francine]

Um, Mr. Ratburn is walking down with someone. It's Patrick from the chocolate shop. We love that guy. Yes. Yeah.

[Arthur]

Well, podcast people, Mr. Ratburn is married and is such a nice guy.

[Buster]

Yeah, he married a chocolate making genius.

[Francine]

If Patrick can make a chocolate wedding cake this delicious, he can surely sweeten Mr. Ratburn up. Right? Well, I'm hitting the dance floor before Mr. Ratburn gives us a pop quiz on weddings. Come on.

[Arthur]

Gotta go, podcast people. There's a wedding to celebrate. You've been listening to the Arthur Podcast. Hey, parents, do you want your kids to answer my next inbox question? First, go to the arthur [e-mail] to find out what I'll be asking. Then email me a voice recording of your child's response to arthurgbh.org your child's answer might even be featured on a future podcast.

[Buster]

That's the show Podcast Nation. If you liked it, ask your grown up to subscribe so you don't miss any new episodes. You can listen to all our podcasts, play games and [e-mail] the Arthur Podcast.

[Arthur]

Is produced for PBS Kids by GBH Kids in partnership with Gen Z Media and distributed by prx. Thanks for listening and have a wonderful kind of day.

[Background Singer/Chorus]

And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day. Learn to work and play and get along with each other. You got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat. Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street. Open up your eyes, open up your ears. Get together and make things better.

[Patty]

GBH Kid.

[Buster]

From prx.