The Baffling Behavior Show: Episode 198 – "All Behavior Makes Sense"

Host: Robyn Gobbel
Release Date: October 8, 2024

Introduction

In Episode 198 of The Baffling Behavior Show, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel delves deep into the foundational concept that "All Behavior Makes Sense." This episode unpacks the neuroscience behind children's behaviors, especially those stemming from trauma, toxic stress, or neuroimmune disorders. Robyn aims to equip parents, educators, therapists, and other professionals with the understanding and tools necessary to foster connection, safety, and effective co-regulation in families dealing with vulnerable nervous systems.

1. The Core Concept: All Behavior Makes Sense

Robyn Gobbel emphasizes that understanding behavior is pivotal for effective parenting and professional support. She revisits a fundamental principle that behavior is always adaptive and makes sense in the moment it occurs.

Robyn Gobbel [05:30]: "All behavior makes sense and is adaptive in the moment it emerges."

She reflects on her mentor, Bonnie Badnock, who introduced her to the idea that no behavior is maladaptive. While initially challenging to accept, Robyn acknowledges the scientific underpinnings that support this assertion.

Robyn Gobbel [04:15]: "No behavior is maladaptive. It's a tricky concept, but it's a core tenet of everything I do."

2. The Neuroscience Behind Behavior

Robyn delves into the brain's role in behavior, particularly focusing on neuroception—a subconscious process where the brain assesses safety or danger from various cues.

• Neuroception Defined:
  • Continuous, below-conscious assessment of safety.
  • Integrates data from the inner world, environment, and relational space.

Robyn Gobbel [14:45]: "Neuroception is assessing 11 million bits of sensory data in every moment."

• Brain's Prediction Mechanism:
  • The brain constantly predicts immediate future events (even milliseconds ahead) to ensure survival.
  • These predictions are based on broad strokes and past experiences, shaping how reality is constructed.

Robyn Gobbel [10:20]: "The brain is super preoccupied with one primary thing, and that is keeping us alive."

3. The 80:20 Reality Construction

Robyn introduces a metaphor to explain how the brain constructs reality using two streams:

• Stream of the Past (80%): Comprises all past experiences and memories.
• Stream of the Now (20%): Represents the present moment.

Robyn Gobbel [22:10]: "The stream of the past contributes 80% to the river, and the stream of the now is only 20%."

This balance allows individuals to function smoothly, with procedural memories enabling routine activities without conscious thought.

4. Impact of Trauma on Behavior

Trauma disrupts the 80:20 balance, turning the stream of the past into a "tsunami" that inundates the present reality.

• Effects of Trauma:
  • Past cues of danger overwhelm present experiences.
  • Individuals perceive the present as unsafe, even when it is not.
  • This leads to chronic protection mode, fostering maladaptive behaviors.

Robyn Gobbel [28:50]: "The past stream becomes more like a tsunami... making now feel dangerous, even if objectively speaking, it's safe."

5. Integration and Shaping Reality

Robyn discusses integration as a process to balance the overwhelming past stream, allowing the present moment to regain clarity and safety.

• Benefits of Integration:
  • Slows down the flood of past trauma.
  • Enhances the ability to experience the present as safe.
  • Encourages the ventral vagal brake to engage, promoting connection and co-regulation.

Robyn Gobbel [35:15]: "Integration slows down the tsunami of the past, so what's happening in the now can be experienced safely."

6. Application for Parents and Professionals

Understanding that all behavior is adaptive shifts the focus from merely managing behaviors to fostering environments that promote safety and connection.

• For Parents:
  • Emphasize co-regulation and building connection.
  • Recognize that disruptive behaviors stem from the child's need for safety.

Robyn Gobbel [40:00]: "Instead of trying to just change the behavior, we focus more on what comes before the behavior—the construction of reality."

• For Professionals:
  • Utilize the concept to better support families.
  • Move beyond traditional behavior management to address underlying nervous system vulnerabilities.

Robyn Gobbel [42:30]: "Meeting folks who believe that their behavior makes sense changes the energy in the relationship, promoting safety and connection."

7. Conclusion

Robyn Gobbel reinforces that while behaviors, especially those arising from trauma, may appear maladaptive, they are adaptive responses to perceived threats based on past experiences. By fostering environments of safety, connection, and understanding, both parents and professionals can help children shift from protection mode to connection mode, ultimately reducing baffling behaviors and enhancing familial relationships.

Robyn Gobbel [48:20]: "When we offer connection, felt safety, and co-regulation in the now, eventually that now becomes the past, enriching the stream of the past with more cues of safety."

She underscores the importance of integrating new, safe experiences into one's history to mitigate the overwhelming influence of past traumas, thereby transforming present behaviors into adaptive, meaningful actions.

Key Takeaways

• All Behavior Makes Sense: Every behavior is an adaptive response rooted in the individual's neurobiology and past experiences.
• Neuroception: A subconscious process determining safety, influencing behavior before conscious thought.
• Trauma's Impact: Alters the balance between past and present, leading to chronic protection mode and maladaptive behaviors.
• Integration: Essential for balancing past traumas with present experiences, fostering safety and connection.
• Practical Application: Shift focus from behavior management to building environments that promote safety, connection, and understanding.

Notable Quotes

• Understanding Behavior:

  "All behavior makes sense and is adaptive in the moment it emerges." — Robyn Gobbel [05:30]

• Neuroception:

  "Neuroception is assessing 11 million bits of sensory data in every moment." — Robyn Gobbel [14:45]

• Trauma and Reality Construction:

  "The past stream becomes more like a tsunami... making now feel dangerous, even if objectively speaking, it's safe." — Robyn Gobbel [28:50]

• Integration Process:

  "Integration slows down the tsunami of the past, so what's happening in the now can be experienced safely." — Robyn Gobbel [35:15]

• Transforming Behavior Focus:

  "Instead of trying to just change the behavior, we focus more on what comes before the behavior—the construction of reality." — Robyn Gobbel [40:00]

Conclusion

Episode 198 of The Baffling Behavior Show offers a comprehensive exploration of why understanding the underlying reasons for children's behaviors is crucial. By embracing the philosophy that all behavior makes sense, Robyn Gobbel provides listeners with a paradigm shift—from managing behaviors to fostering environments that nurture safety and connection. This approach not only alleviates parental burnout but also promotes healthier, more connected familial relationships.