Episode Summary: Ep. 205: Scaffolding Felt Safety
Release Date: January 21, 2025
Host: Robyn Gobbel
Podcast: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
1. Introduction to Scaffolding Felt Safety
Robyn Gobbel opens Episode 205 by sharing a deeply personal journey of injury and recovery. She highlights the concept of "scaffolding felt safety," a foundational element in supporting individuals with vulnerable nervous systems, particularly children who have experienced trauma or toxic stress.
2. Robyn's Journey Through Injury and Recovery
Robyn recounts sustaining a severe back injury in August, which led to an eight-week period of intense pain and immobility. She describes the physical and emotional toll, including reliance on narcotics that left her "flooded with cues of danger" and nearly "sunk into hopelessness" [(07:30)].
“The pain was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life... I was essentially housebound for about four weeks and then for about four weeks after that, I started to slowly get back into my regular world.” [(02:15)]
Throughout her recovery, Robyn emphasizes the importance of movement in healing and preventing future injuries. Her determination to regain strength underscores her commitment to overcoming adversity.
3. The Concept of Scaffolding Felt Safety
Robyn introduces the idea of scaffolding felt safety as a critical support mechanism during recovery. This involves creating an environment where individuals feel secure enough to take necessary risks for growth without feeling overwhelmed by fear or anxiety.
“The glue of human contact in relationship really increased my window of tolerance and filled my cues of safety bucket more than the cues of danger bucket.” [(17:45)]
She draws parallels between her own recovery process and the experiences of children with nervous system vulnerabilities, emphasizing that both require careful support to rebuild trust and resilience.
4. Parallels Between Personal Recovery and Children's Healing
Robyn bridges her personal experience with professional insights, illustrating how children recovering from trauma undergo a similar "injury recovery" process. She notes the lack of autonomy and consistent support children often face, which contrasts with the privileges she had during her recovery.
“Their nervous system has been injured, and my recovery was accompanied by so many privileges that these kids don't have.” [(25:10)]
This comparison highlights the necessity of tailored support systems to help children navigate their healing journeys effectively.
5. The Role of Autonomy and Relational Support
Central to scaffolding felt safety is granting autonomy and fostering genuine relational connections. Robyn underscores how her ability to control her recovery timeline and the supportive relationships she built with her trainers were pivotal in her healing process.
“I developed a relationship with them. I got to know them. I was in charge of when I went to appointments, how I scheduled them.” [(22:00)]
For children, achieving similar levels of autonomy and trustworthy relationships can be challenging but is crucial for their emotional and physical well-being.
6. Challenges in Supporting Children with Vulnerable Nervous Systems
Robyn addresses the difficulties parents and professionals face in maintaining patience and providing consistent support. She acknowledges the immense bravery children exhibit as they attempt to trust and engage in relationships despite their fears and past traumas.
“Some of the kids that I know have no map for healthy relationship. They don't know it can be different.” [(30:20)]
She emphasizes that even small gestures of safety and connection—like a genuine smile or attentive listening—can significantly impact a child's ability to heal and trust.
7. Conclusion and Takeaways
Robyn concludes the episode by encouraging listeners to recognize and celebrate the resilience of children managing big, baffling behaviors. She advocates for compassion and patience, reminding parents and professionals that every effort to provide relational safety contributes to a child's healing journey.
“This is a podcast to bring us a sense of awe and inspiration at what our kids are managing to do every single day...” [(28:50)]
Robyn's personal narrative serves as a powerful testament to the importance of scaffolding felt safety, offering both hope and practical insights for those supporting children through trauma and stress.
Key Quotes:
- “The pain was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life...” [(02:15)]
- “The glue of human contact in relationship really increased my window of tolerance...” [(17:45)]
- “Their nervous system has been injured, and my recovery was accompanied by so many privileges that these kids don't have.” [(25:10)]
- “I developed a relationship with them. I got to know them. I was in charge of when I went to appointments...” [(22:00)]
- “Some of the kids that I know have no map for healthy relationship. They don't know it can be different.” [(30:20)]
- “This is a podcast to bring us a sense of awe and inspiration at what our kids are managing to do every single day...” [(28:50)]
Final Thoughts
Episode 205 of The Baffling Behavior Show offers a heartfelt exploration of recovery through the lens of personal experience and professional expertise. Robyn Gobbel effectively bridges her journey with actionable insights, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of how to support children with vulnerable nervous systems by scaffolding felt safety. This episode serves as both an inspirational narrative and a practical guide for parents, educators, and professionals dedicated to fostering resilience and trust in the lives of children overcoming trauma.