Podcast Summary: The Baffling Behavior Show – REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1
Episode Information
- Title: REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1
- Release Date: December 17, 2024
- Host: Robyn Gobbel
- Podcast: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Introduction
In this compelling episode of The Baffling Behavior Show, hosted by internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel, listeners are invited to delve deep into the concept of "felt safety." This episode marks the first installment of a three-part series focusing on the multifaceted nature of felt safety, starting with the internal aspects that influence a child's behavior.
Overview of the Episode
As Robyn Gobbel reenters the airwaves after a holiday break, she introduces a strategic replay of her insightful series on felt safety. Aimed at parents, educators, therapists, and professionals working with children who exhibit challenging behaviors, this episode seeks to dismantle common misconceptions about felt safety and provide a nuanced understanding of how internal, external, and relational factors interplay to affect a child's nervous system.
Key Topics Discussed
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Misconceptions About Felt Safety
Robyn begins by addressing widespread misunderstandings surrounding felt safety. She clarifies that felt safety extends beyond mere relational safety, emphasizing its complexity and the various factors that contribute to a child's sense of security.
"Felt safety is so much broader than simply the relationship." [08:15]
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The Three Streams of Safety: Inside, Outside, Between
The episode introduces the framework of the three streams of safety:
- Inside: Internal world and personal neuroception.
- Outside: Environmental factors and external cues.
- Between: Relational dynamics and interactions.
This segmentation sets the stage for the deep dive into each component across the series.
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Neuroception: Connection vs. Protection Mode
A foundational concept discussed is "neuroception," the nervous system's subconscious evaluation of safety or danger. Robyn explains the dual states:
- Connection Mode: Where the nervous system feels safe and behaviors invite connection.
- Protection Mode: Where the nervous system perceives danger, leading to defensive behaviors.
"A nervous system in connection mode leads to behaviors that invite connection." [15:45]
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Internal Cues of Safety and Danger
Delving into the "inside" stream, Robyn explores how internal bodily cues—such as hunger, fatigue, or discomfort—are neurocepted as signals that can trigger protective responses. She highlights how these cues can become amplified in children with vulnerable nervous systems.
"Internal cues like being hungry or tired are neuroceived as cues of danger." [25:30]
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Impact of Chronic Danger on Neuroception
The discussion extends to how prolonged exposure to stressors can entrench the nervous system in a perpetual state of protection, making it challenging to return to a sense of safety. Robyn explains the resulting feedback loops that exacerbate feelings of danger.
"Chronic danger makes it difficult for the nervous system to return to safety, creating a vicious cycle." [35:20]
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Neurotypes and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
Addressing neurodiversity, Robyn touches upon how certain neurotypes, such as autism and PDA, inherently process demands as cues of danger. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these differences without attempting to change a child's neurotype.
"Pathological demand avoidance predisposes individuals to experience demands as cues of danger." [45:10]
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Strategies for Parents and Professionals
Concluding the internal stream discussion, Robyn offers actionable insights for parents and professionals. She stresses the necessity of lowering demands and creating environments that foster safety, thereby helping to shift the child's nervous system from protection to connection mode.
"If demands are the cue of danger, then demands must be lowered to reduce those danger cues." [55:00]
Notable Quotes
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Robyn Gobbel on the Complexity of Felt Safety:
"Felt safety is so much broader than simply the relationship." [08:15]
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On Neuroception and Behavior:
"A nervous system in connection mode leads to behaviors that invite connection." [15:45]
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Regarding Internal Cues as Danger Signals:
"Internal cues like being hungry or tired are neuroceived as cues of danger." [25:30]
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On the Impact of Chronic Danger:
"Chronic danger makes it difficult for the nervous system to return to safety, creating a vicious cycle." [35:20]
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Discussing Pathological Demand Avoidance:
"Pathological demand avoidance predisposes individuals to experience demands as cues of danger." [45:10]
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Advice on Managing Demands:
"If demands are the cue of danger, then demands must be lowered to reduce those danger cues." [55:00]
Resources and Further Learning
Robyn highlights several resources for listeners seeking additional support:
- Free Audio Training: Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors – A four-part series available through podcast apps.
- Book: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors – Available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.
- Online Community: "The Club" – An online community offering connection, co-regulation, and educational resources.
- Professional Training: Being With – A year-long immersion program for professionals supporting families with children who have vulnerable nervous systems.
She also references her website, robingobel.com, for downloadable infographics and additional materials.
Conclusion
In this enlightening episode, Robyn Gobbel provides a thorough exploration of internal felt safety, laying the groundwork for understanding how a child's internal state influences their behavior. By challenging common misconceptions and introducing key neurobiological concepts, Robyn equips parents and professionals with the knowledge to foster environments that promote safety and connection. This foundational understanding is crucial for effectively supporting children with vulnerable nervous systems and mitigating baffling behaviors.
Listeners are encouraged to engage with subsequent episodes in the series, participate in the online community, and utilize the array of resources available to enhance their parenting and professional practices.
Stay Connected
For more insights and support, visit robingobel.com and explore the wide range of resources Robyn Gobbel offers to empower parents and professionals in navigating the complexities of children's behaviors and nervous system vulnerabilities.