Podcast Summary: REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2

Title: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Host: Robyn Gobbel
Episode: REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2
Release Date: December 18, 2024

Introduction to the Episode

In this replay episode of The Baffling Behavior Show, host Robyn Gobbel delves deeper into the concept of felt safety, specifically focusing on external cues from the environment that influence a child's sense of safety. This episode is the second part of a three-part series aimed at parents and professionals working with children who have experienced trauma or possess vulnerable nervous systems.

Recap of Felt Safety Series

“Felt safety is much, much, much more complex than relational safety.” (12:45)

Robyn begins by recapping the first part of the series, where she introduced the broader concept of felt safety, dispelling common misconceptions that equate it solely with relational safety. She emphasizes the importance of understanding felt safety as a multifaceted experience influenced by internal, external, and relational factors.

Understanding External Cues of Safety and Danger

“Health safety is not only about physical safety; there are many aspects of our environment that send cues of safety or danger.” (15:30)

Robyn explores how external environmental cues—such as sights, sounds, smells, and overall sensory input—play a critical role in a child's felt safety. She explains that these cues can either soothe or trigger a child's nervous system, especially in those with a history of trauma.

Environmental Cues Linked to Past Trauma

“If a child has a history of trauma, even non-objectively dangerous environmental factors can become cues of danger.” (20:10)

Using the example of a red car, Robyn illustrates how seemingly harmless elements in the environment can evoke memories of past trauma, thereby becoming perceived threats. She encourages parents to consider their child's unique history when identifying potential environmental triggers.

Sensory Thresholds and Their Impact

“We all have unique sensory thresholds, and sensory experiences can be cues of danger if they are too intense or insufficient.” (30:05)

Robyn discusses the concept of sensory thresholds—the point at which sensory input becomes overwhelming or insufficient for an individual. She highlights the importance of recognizing and respecting each child's unique sensory preferences to maintain their sense of safety.

Practical Strategies for Managing Sensory Inputs

“Identify your sensory preferences first, then apply that understanding to your child's needs.” (35:50)

The host offers practical advice on how parents can assess their own sensory preferences as a starting point to better understand and support their children's sensory needs. She suggests creating environments that balance sensory input to prevent overstimulation or under-stimulation.

Structure, Routine, and Predictability

“The brain’s primary job is to predict what’s happening next to stay safe.” (45:20)

Robyn emphasizes the significance of structure, routine, and predictability in fostering a sense of safety for children. By knowing what to expect, children can better regulate their nervous systems and feel more secure.

Flexibility Within Structure

“Structure, routine, and predictability are not about rigidity but about creating a safe framework that allows for flexibility.” (50:15)

She clarifies that while structure is essential, it should not be rigid. Flexibility within routines can help accommodate the dynamic needs of children, especially those who might otherwise perceive strict routines as demands or threats.

Balancing Structure with Relational Attunement

“Nothing will overpower the need for relational attunement.” (1:05:30)

Robyn underscores the paramount importance of relational attunement—being present and responsive to a child's immediate emotional needs—over rigid structures. She advises parents to remain adaptable, recognizing that a child’s need for structure may fluctuate.

Navigating Overstimulation and Understimulation

“Too much or too little sensory data can tip a child into protection mode.” (1:10:45)

The discussion highlights how imbalances in sensory input can lead to heightened stress responses in children. Robyn encourages parents to create balanced environments that neither overwhelm nor underwhelm their children, thereby promoting a stable sense of safety.

Trusting the Nervous System

“When our children are telling us that they're not safe through their behaviors, it's our job to believe them.” (1:18:20)

Robyn stresses the importance of trusting a child's nervous system signals. She advises parents to recognize and honor behavioral cues as expressions of a child’s need for safety, rather than dismissing them based on external observations.

Practical Applications and Resources

“Check out my USA Today best-selling book, Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors, for more in-depth strategies.” (1:25:40)

Towards the end of the episode, Robyn provides resources for further support, including her book, online community (the club), and upcoming professional training programs. She encourages listeners to utilize these tools to enhance their understanding and application of felt safety principles.

Conclusion and Teaser for Part 3

“Next week we'll talk about 'between,' the relational space, and how children interpret safety within their relationships.” (1:30:55)

Robyn wraps up the episode by summarizing the key points discussed and previewing the final installment of the felt safety series. She reiterates the importance of creating safe, supportive environments to help children navigate their experiences and behaviors effectively.

Key Takeaways

1. Felt Safety is Multifaceted: Encompasses internal, external, and relational cues.
2. Environmental Cues Matter: Everyday elements can trigger safety or danger responses based on past experiences.
3. Sensory Thresholds are Unique: Understanding and respecting each child’s sensory needs can enhance their sense of safety.
4. Structure with Flexibility: Routine and predictability should provide a safe framework without being overly rigid.
5. Trust Behavioral Cues: Recognize that a child's behaviors are valid indicators of their sense of safety.
6. Resources are Available: Engage with Robyn’s book, online community, and training programs for ongoing support.

Further Resources

• Book: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel
• Website: robingobel.com/bafflingbehaviors
• Online Community: Join the club for additional support and resources
• Upcoming Training: Professional programs for therapists, educators, and consultants

Final Thoughts

Robyn Gobbel’s insightful exploration into the external aspects of felt safety provides invaluable guidance for parents and professionals alike. By understanding and addressing the environmental and sensory factors that influence a child’s sense of safety, caregivers can create more supportive and effective strategies to help children thrive despite their challenges.