← The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
{REPLAY} Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It?
00:46:35
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- [00:02]
A
So when your kids behavior is baffling and yours is too, sometimes. Yeah, I know. Let's take a break from all the man the boozle here on the Baffling Behavior Show. Hey. Hey, everybody. Welcome.
- [00:21]
B
Or maybe this is a welcome back to another episode of the Baffling Behavior Show. It's me. I'm your host, Robin Goble. And here on the Baffling Behavior show, we come together, me and you, to help take the science of being relationally, socially and behaviorally human and apply that.
- [00:40]
A
To your real life.
- [00:41]
B
So I like to think that I offer to you the neuroscience and you bring to me everything you know about your kid and yourself and your family. And we put our brains together and we see how we can use this relational neuroscience to. To make a difference, to support your child, you, your family in increasing your regulation, your connection and felt safety. For today's episode, I'm actually going to replay an episode that initially aired about two years ago in late 2023, all about the difference between excusing behavior and understanding behavior. This is such a common question or concern, both for folks who are new to some of these ideas and concepts, but also even I think, for those of us who have been doing this a real long time. There are still moments where we can get really confused about what's happening. And I will even ask myself, oh my gosh, are we just excusing bad behavior? But when I'm solidly in my owl.
- [01:51]
A
Brain, when I really anchored into connection.
- [01:56]
B
Mode, I know in my bones that by understanding the neuroscience of behavior, we are not excusing it. We are not quote, unquote, giving free passes. We are not permissively parenting. We're not just throwing up our hands and saying, oh, well, I guess they just can't help it. In so many ways, we actually do the opposite in so many ways. Parenting kids in this way or supporting them at school, school or on their mental health journey, it's about increasing the boundaries, not decreasing them. Taking the stance of oh, well, can't help it is actually the exact opposite of what we're doing. So if you've ever had this question, are we just excusing bad behavior or you have found yourself or you think you'll find yourself in the future in conversation with someone who has this question, I think this podcast will really help you feel clear and confident that, no, we are not excusing bad behavior. And I hope the episode will help you feel confident in talking to others about the same idea.
- [03:08]
A
All right, here we go. Today, what I want to talk about is the difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior. And I thought this help this episode, this topic might especially be helpful for those of you who could use some kind of organization around this idea when talking to other folks in your life who aren't as convinced about why it's so important to look underneath and understand the behavior. Obviously, one of my passions in life is understanding behavior. Like, I'm a little bit obsessive about it in some ways. And you know, people's behavior is at times extremely confusing. It's perplexing. I mean, it's baffling, right? There's, there's these moments where it's like, what is happening here? And sometimes it's bad. And one of the ways that I regulate through all of the confusion and all of the bad, yucky feelings is to try to figure out the why. It would be really easy for me to stay stuck in. And I think I spent some time in my life staying stuck in feelings of resentment, even maybe contempt, shame, and blame about other folks behaviors and also about my own. And it, that's just a hard place to hang out. Like, those are hard feelings to spend a lot of time with. And I regulate through those hard feelings and move and shift them by getting underneath and understanding what's driving the behavior and trying to figure out the why. And I do this so, so intensely and so implicitly that sometimes I'm startled or surprised by folks who are not only just not terribly interested in understanding behavior, but actually they think it's not helpful or necessary. Like, I can hear folks immediately make accusations about how understanding behavior is just excusing it. And I really wanted to take some time in today's episode to unpack that statement and to unpack that fear, because there's a lot of fear underneath that belief and get curious, what does excusing behavior even mean? And why is that so bad or so scary? So before we explore that, let's actually identify really clearly, like, why I want to understand behavior. For me, understanding behavior has two really important goals. Number one, if we understand the behavior, we can probably take better steps at figuring out how to solve that behavior if we need to. Now, if you're a regular listener to this podcast, you know that I'm actually not that interested in changing somebody else's behavior, but what I am interested in doing is seeing if I can support that person, support their nervous system, support their experience in the world, so that their inner experience in the world and the way that their nervous system is interacting in the World feels better. And one of the ways that we measure that, you know, if somebody's feeling better or not, is, is their behavior. The behavior is the clue. So, again, I'm not overly interested in changing somebody else's behavior. That doesn't really feel like it's my business. But I am interested in what are the things that I can do to help people experience more regulation, connection, and felt safety in the world. And one of the ways we can track somebody's experience of regulation, connection, and felt safety is their observable behavior. So when I understand the behavior or when I can stay curious about wanting to understand the behavior, because sometimes I have absolutely no idea what's happening. But if I can stay curious, I'm going to get a lot closer to figuring out what could I do or what does this person need that would help them experience more regulation, experience more connection to themselves and to others, and experiencing more felt safety. That's what I'm interested in. And then when folks have those experiences of more regulation, more connection, more felt safety, almost always what we do see is a change in their behavior. So that's my first goal, is if I can understand behavior and what's going on underneath it, I'm actually going to get much better ideas about what can I do to help it. And then the second big reason is understanding behavior invites in compassion. It moves me into a place of compassion. It moves me into that part of my nervous system that I call connection. Right. As opposed to protection. You know, it keeps me in a more open and available part of my nervous system, which is better for me, and it's better for my people. It's better for the people I'm with. It's better for my husband, it's better for my kid, it's better for my clients, it's better for my students. The more I can stay in that open, available, connection part of that my nervous system. One of the ways I can do that is by staying really open to what's driving this behavior. How can I stay in this place of curiosity and compassion and that place of the nervous system, that connection pathway of the nervous system is the part of the nervous system that invites in what interpersonal neurobiology calls integration. And integration, according to interpersonal neurobiology, is the path towards changing and shifting that nervous system and then changing and shifting, ultimately, behavior. Right? So those are my two big important goals. I want to stay in a place of compassion, connection, and curiosity. It's better for me, it's better for the other people, and that staying in that place of curiosity about behavior gives me way better ideas about what can I do to help support this person so that their behavior is more in line with like who they are as a person and who they want to be in the world. I have noticed though that there are a lot of folks who seem to believe there's a connection between understanding behavior and excusing it, or ignoring it, or having really bad boundaries with it. And I also think that some folks are afraid of understanding behavior because understanding behavior challenges belief that upholds a lot of power based hierarchies that would be threatened if we question them. And that belief is this idea that I think is false. This idea that we have almost total control of over our behaviors, right? There are a lot of infrastructures, a lot of institutions in the world that are really based on that belief. We have total control of our behavior. Therefore, if you have bad behavior, you're bad, and if you have good behavior, you're good. But actually, if we look at behavior science and we look at what behavior really is, that's not true at all. That we have almost total control over our behavior. And that is a very threatening idea to these powerful institutions that are based on the idea that we have almost total control over our behavior. Wanting to understand behavior means that there's more of an explanation for the behavior then simply just that humans are bad and need to be punished in order to have the self restraint to be good. And that idea that left to their own devices, at their core, humans are bad and need to be punished so they don't act bad and hurt other people. That really is the belief that's at the core of a lot of punitive consequence based behavior management ideas. Whereas the core of behavior science based on relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology is that connections are biological imperative. We need connection with one another to grow and survive. That connections are default. And if connections are default, then it makes a lot of sense to consider that actually behaving in ways that hurt other people, that's not our default. It does happen and we can explore why that happens without question. Humans are capable of very hurtful, harmful behavior. But I don't think that's our default. The idea that explanations are just excuses for behavior, this emerges from somebody's nervous system that is stuck in protection mode. A nervous system in connection mode is by default open and curious and compassionate. Whereas a nervous system stuck in protection mode is going to move towards a more rigid belief that understanding behavior is just excusing behavior and excusing behavior. Is bad because it allows people to just be lazy and hurt other people. That's a belief that emerges from a nervous system stuck in protection mode. And although I believe that we are all longing to rest into connection and into the part of our nervous system that emerges when we're feeling safe that I call connection mode, it's also quite the privilege to experience enough felt safety to rest into safety and connection. So my theory and the theory that's underneath you know, every episode in this podcast and everything that I teach and everything that happens in the club and everything that I teach my students in being with my theory based on relational neuroscience and specifically in this moment, I'll be talking about theory that's emerged from Dr. Porges polyvagal theory. My theory says that connections biological imperative. Dr. Porges writes that that we are all always seeking the most nourishing connections that we can imagine. Dr. Bonnie Badenoch writes that that all of us are trying to find again the most nourishing connections that we can imagine. I think that caveat is really important when we think about some of the kids at y' all are parenting that have had really challenging connection based experiences, especially early in life when connection was tied together with danger. That some of our kids have a hard time believing in connection that is safe, but that we're always seeking the most nourishing connections that we can imagine and that we need connection to survive, literally. Like our brains organize and develop inside connection. Why would that be true about our brains if connection wasn't our default as humans, Our default isn't to hurt other humans or to be selfish or be in power and control. Our default is connection. We hurt other humans or move to wanting to be in power and control when we aren't feeling safe. When we move into protection mode, it just makes absolutely no sense in any way for human behavior to default to behaviors that don't invite connection. Right. I mean like we literally need connection for our brains to grow and we kind of need our brains to grow in order to survive, procreate, continue our species, those kinds of things. Certainly when we aren't safe, behaviors default to behaviors of protection. So humans do have selfish behaviors. We get protective of our resources and yeah, we don't act in very connecting or cooperative ways if we're not feeling safe, if our nervous system has tipped into what I call protection mode. There's a theory called social baseline theory that says that connection is literally our default. Our brains expect connection. It is our default. It's our expectation in the world. And when we can't find it, we flip into protection mode. And when we flip into production mode, what we want in order to feel safe again is connection. The default mode of human beings is to have behaviors that invite connection. We don't need to be punished to have behaviors that are appropriate for human relationships, appropriate for connection, that don't hurt other people. We don't need to be punished for that. We need to be safe. Y'. All. Have you heard?
- [18:07]
B
The Baffling Behavior Training Institute is now accepting applications and enrolling for the 2026 school cohorts of the Professional Immersion Program, which is our program that's formally known as being with. This year long highly experiential program will help you grow your capacity to connect, resonate and be with even the most dysregulated parents with the most dysregulated kids. Graduates become registered Raising kids with Big Baffling Behaviors course facilitators, which includes a 12 module parent course that you can offer to your clients and community and oodles and oodles of support resources to help your parent clients implement the science of regulation, connection and felt safety with their kids and families. If you go to robngoble.com immersion, you'll be able to read all about the program details and add your name to the waiting list. In 2026, we're offering two cohorts, including a new cohort which meets in the evening time Eastern time zone. This means now professionals from Asia and Australia can more easily participate, as well as students in the US who've been unable to participate in a daytime cohort. You must be on the waiting list to apply, so head to robingobel.com immersion now.
- [19:32]
A
Punishment keeps our relationships in a power over power under dynamic. Folks who aren't experiencing safety often end up looking for safety by looking to move into like a power power over position over other people. And then this perpetuates that lack of felt safety. Because hurting another person physically or emotionally or energetically might invite in this kind of false sense of safety. Like I'm in power, right? And that's safe. But it isn't safety through connection, it's safety through protection. And safety through connection is what humans are longing for. When we can't get it, we'll get safety through power, which sends then this feedback loop to the nervous system that there isn't safety through connection. And then that keeps us stuck in protection mode. And then we have behaviors that are based out of protecting ourselves, protecting our resources, right? That's when we see the behaviors that are Bringing you to listen to this podcast. Right. Behaviors that are stuck in protection mode. And when we're stuck in protection mode, we are going to be reluctant to explore what's underneath the behavior. Being in protection mode means we tend to get a lot more black and white. We tend to get a lot more rigid. We are preoccupied with what we can see as opposed to all the things that are happening in every unfolding moment that we can't see. The idea that we are largely driven by implicit impulses and that we don't actually have that much control over our behaviors in a moment to moment basis is terrifying for some folks. And because we are so focused on behavior, the thing we can see, we feel very, very vulnerable. Turning our attention to the implicit, turning our attention to things that we can't see. Everything that's happening outside our conscious awareness, we really are uncomfortable with the idea of how much happens, how much is responsible for our behavior that we have so little conscious control over. Being willing to be present with the implicit, with something that we can't see or objectify or quantify requires a felt sense of safety. So for folks who are stuck in protection mode, it doesn't feel possible to have any impact or influence on the implicit, right? On the things we can't see. See. So then we default to the idea that attempting to see beneath behavior means we just have to accept bad behavior and have no boundaries and no control. And then again, now we're stuck in a power under position, this feeling of having no power. But here's the thing. Behavior actually is driven largely by behavioral impulses. Behavior is just what we can see on the outside that gives us some information that helps us maybe understand what's happening on the inside. I mean, behavior is blinking, behavior is brushing your teeth. Behavior are the hand gestures that I'm making as I'm recording this podcast episode. And yes, behavior is hitting, behavior is spitting, behavior is all of these negative things. But we tend to imply negative when we use the word behavior. That's just not actually true. That's not what behavior really is. Behavior isn't just things that are negative. Behavior are things that we can see. And behavior is largely the result of behavioral impulses that are implicit. Meaning the neuronal firings that are responsible for the end behavior start long before the actual observable behavior happens and long before we can pay a lot of conscious attention to what's happening. But ignoring that behavior is largely driven by implicit behavioral impulses doesn't make it any less true. Ignoring something that's True just means that we're missing a really important opportunity to make the changes that we're really longing to make. So let me give you an example from my own life. I talked last year on the podcast about my husband's struggle with Lyme disease and a neuroimmune disorder. I did a three part series including interviewing my husband about his experience of having this neuroimmune disorder or which has many symptoms, including behavioral symptoms. And for years, years like we suspect that my husband's had lyme disease for 30 years, probably for years we treated the symptoms that we could see. And in some ways I don't even think we knew that being more curious was an option. Like he had symptoms, we made meaning out of them and we treated that meaning until finally it became really clear that what we were doing to treat those symptoms wasn't helping at all. And we were kind of forced to get a lot more curious about what is really going on here. And Lyme disease or pans or pandas or other diseases that have really tricky symptoms. This is very common, right, that we are treating the symptoms that we can see. We're treating the behavior without really getting as curious as we should be getting about what's driving the behavior. So what that meant in my family is we spent 30 years treating something with little to no success and only started to see any real shift or change and troubling symptoms when we were able to get really curious about but what's actually driving these behaviors. It's an example of how we treat what we're comfortable with. We treat what we know. I mean, I'm a therapist, so when I see behavior based symptoms that look like mental health, we treat mental health symptoms, right? And y', all, have you heard?
- [27:00]
B
The Baffling Behavior Training Institute is now accepting applications and enrolling for the 2026 cohorts of the Professional Immersion Program, which is our program that's formally known as being with. This year long highly experiential program will help you grow your capacity to connect, resonate and be with even the most dysregulated parents with the most dysregulated kids. Graduates become registered raising kids with big Baffling behaviors course facilitators which includes a 12 module parent course that you can offer to your clients and community and oodles and oodles of support resources to help your parent clients implement the science of regulation, connection and felt safety with their kids and families. If you go to robngoble.com immersion you'll be able to Read all about the program details and add your name to the waiting list. In 2026, we're offering two cohorts, including a new cohort which meets in the evening time Eastern time zone. This means now professionals from Asia and Australia can more easily participate, as well as students in the US Who've been unable to participate in a daytime cohort. You must be on the waiting list to apply, so head to robingobel.com immersion now.
- [28:25]
A
Hey friends. So just a really quick interruption.
- [28:29]
B
Make sure you know about the new Owl, Watchdog and Possum workbook for kids. The All About Me workbook is 24 pages, full color. It's created to help kids strengthen their owl brain and take care of and calm their watchdog and their possum. Your child can do the workbook alone or with you.
- [28:52]
A
And in fact, even if they aren't.
- [28:54]
B
Interested in the workbook, you could learn.
- [28:56]
A
A ton about how to help their.
- [28:58]
B
Owl, Watchdog and possum just by reading and maybe even doing some of it yourself. The workbook's available to purchase and you'll get it instantly as a digital Download over@robingobel.com Store.
- [29:21]
A
They ended up being mental health symptoms with a very physical etiology. And we had to get comfortable treating what we didn't know. We had to get comfortable looking outside what we thought we knew. And when we did that actually then became so much more successful at helping the nervous system feel more regulated, feel more safe, feel more connected. And yeah, what happens after that? Behaviors improve, but we're not ever going to solve the right problem if we aren't using the right treatment. So another example today in the club, somebody asked a question about stealing and I responded with, well, stealing is the behavior. Like, we've got to look like what's driving the behavior because it'd be so many different things. And based on what it is, is how we're going to approach this behavior that isn't okay, right? Like, stealing is a very clear boundary violation and other people in the family and other people in the community deserve to have the boundary right. That keeps themselves protected. Right? So, yes, stealing is a behavior that we want to see how we can, you know, quote, unquote solve. But we can't just look at the ceiling. We have to look at what's underneath this. So stealing can be a behavior that's around, like pleasure seeking and reward seeking, like dopamine circuitry kind of stuff. Stealing can be really about lots of impulsivity. Like, I see, I take. Right. Not a lot of Pause. Right. Stealing can be about power dynamics in a relationship, right? Like some of our kids steal to and and violate other people's boundaries to put themselves in like a power over position in a relationship. Right. Stealing can be about having very, very, very poor sense of self, poor sense of boundaries, poor sense of like, I am me, you are you and we're separate, like what's yours isn't mine. And having really blurred boundaries around like I'm me and you're you is very common in folks who have had early trauma, early attachment trauma experiences. I mean, stealing can be about a lack of trust that their needs are going to be met, right? So that's about felt safety. And then that gets combined with like this kind of high level of arousal that leaves their brain in a place where it can only focus on the right now. So taking stealing instead of on the future, which is like, I could ask for this, I could make a plan for this. If I take this without asking, that's going to hurt my relationship or you know, all of all the other byproducts of stealing that aren't just the immediate. But I want that. So I'm going to take it right now. If I want to stay in a power over position and use my power to change somebody else's behavior, then yeah, I can totally disregard what's driving the behavior and find a way to, you know, change the behavior through punishment, fear or control. And the behavior might actually even change. But it's not going to change without great cost if we're really invested and helping people feel better. Helping people feel better in their nervous system, feel better with themselves, feel more safe, feel more connected, feel more human and not just being in a position of having enough power to force somebody else's behavior to change, then what happens is we're relieved to learn that understanding behavior invites in the brain states of curiosity and compassion. And then we're super excited to know that compassion is the hallmark of a nervous system that is open to change. We actually know what changes neural networks. And it's a nervous system that's in connection mode. Curiosity and compassion. It's literally a part of the formula for creating the circumstances that invite true change in the brain. So if a child is stealing because they don't believe their needs will get met by someone else, it's actually a nervous system state of compassion and connection that is going to allow their memory networks to reconsolidate and then shift into the truth that they can trust the grownups to meet their needs. If we want to Create the possibility for memory networks to change. We've got to bring compassion, curiosity and connection. That is the formula for inviting in the possibility for neural networks to unlock reconsolidate. That's a whole lot of sciency, mumbo jumbo. Maybe you know all that language and you're like, oh yeah, that makes total sense. Maybe you don't know that language language at all. And all you need to hear me say is it allows the brain to change and then ultimately the behavior to change in a way that's congruent with authentic brain change as opposed to just based out of fear and power and control. So in addition to being able to finally solve the real problem and create the brain environment that offers up the potential for real, true brain change, I want to give you one more reason why understanding behavior is so powerful. Compassion, which emerges from understanding the behavior actually allows us to set way better boundaries. Boundaries that are much more likely to be respected. Boundaries that are much more likely that we'll be able to enforce. Now, without question, we have a lot of confusion over what the word boundaries actually means. Boundaries aren't about being in a power up position. That then gives me the ability to control and manipulate someone else's behavior. That's not what a boundary is. But what is? Well then what is a boundary? Right? So here's what we're going to do. We're actually going to spend the entire month of February exploring boundaries, Particularly how we can have boundaries with kids with very dysregulated behaviors. Okay? So because we're going to do a whole month on that, for now, all I'm going to say is that compassionate boundaries are much stronger and much more powerful than punishment and power over attempts to manipulate somebody else's behavior. Compassionate boundaries allow connected relationships to flourish and safety. So understanding behavior leads to compassion, which leads to the ability to have compassionate boundaries. Okay, all right, y', all, let's summarize this all really quickly. We are so much more likely to actually change behavior that needs to be changed in a way that doesn't leave us in protection mode by using power when we can understand what the behavior really is. Understanding behavior allows us to stay in compassion and connection mode, which also is what contributes to real true good change in the nervous system. Understanding behavior promotes compassionate boundaries. It doesn't promote excusing behavior. Compassionate boundaries don't leave us in a state of like, helplessness where we feel like we can't do anything. So we just give up and we let it all slide. Because I have no power and I can't do anything. That's not where compassionate boundaries lead us. Compassionate boundaries help us move out of a power over or power under dynamic power over and power under dynamics keep us really stuck in nervous system state of protection. And if we can move out of that power over power under place, we can invite in felt safety and yes, ultimately integration. So next week we're kicking off a month long series on the exploration of boundaries, Boundaries with connect action and boundaries with kids with very dysregulated behaviors that we just can't end our relationship with. Right? Like, so often when people talk about boundaries, there's this kind of like ultimate boundary of just ending the relationship. Like if I don't like the way somebody's treating me, ultimately my power and the way I can enforce my boundaries is to say these are my boundaries and comply with them or we're not going to be in relationship any longer. That's obviously really not possible with our kids, right? We can't control their behavior and sometimes their behavior absolutely violates the boundaries that we have for ourselves and the boundaries for how we expect other people to interact with us. So when that's true, what do we do? That's what we're going to explore next month as we talk all about boundaries. I'm really excited for this already putting like a lot of thought and processing and planning and note taking into this series. So I think it's going to be awesome. That's going to start next week. So in the meantime, if you loved this episode, if you thought it was helpful, if you love the podcast, if.
- [39:10]
B
You think the podcast is helpful, I'd.
- [39:12]
A
Love for you to share it. Share it with your friends, with your colleagues, with the people who are helping your kids. Just share, share, share. Next door neighbor, whoever you can get a little listen to the podcast. Go ahead and do that. If you love the podcast. I'd also love for you to rate and review the word podcast. I mean, if you don't love the podcast, then yeah, go ahead, you don't have to share it with anybody. Don't rate, don't review it, but if you love it, right, go ahead and do those things. It actually does help other people find the podcast. So think about the moment you found the podcast and the breath of relief that that gave you. I mean, people write me and they say, oh my gosh, everything changed when I found your podcast. So when you share about the podcast and you rate it and you review it, it gives the opportunity for more folks to find the podcast and more folks to experience that. That's exactly what we're hoping for. All right, y', all, thank you again for everything. Everything you do for yourself, everything you do for your kids. You're amazing. I will see you next week, y'. All.
- [40:13]
B
If you are loving the Baffling Behavior show and wondering where to go next where you can get more support, or maybe you're a professional and you want to bring this work to your clients, I've got three places you can go next. Number one, my USA Today best selling.
- [40:31]
A
Book, Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors.
- [40:33]
B
It's been over a year and a half and Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors continues to exceed our wildest dreams to breaking sales goals and getting feedback that it's changing people's lives. Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors is available in paperback, ebook and audiobook, which.
- [40:52]
A
I read wherever you buy books online.
- [40:55]
B
Okay, so the second way to get more support is to come join us in the club. The club is an online community of connection, co regulation and yeah, a little education. It's for in the trenches parents where you will get support from me, from my team, and from in the trenches parents all over the world. We have over 500 members. You can come into the club, pick my brain, watch over a hundred different videos, Download well over 50 resources that have been uniquely developed just for families in the club to bring owls and watchdogs and possums into your family. And if you're a professional, a therapist, coach, teacher educator, occupational therapist, daycare owner, anyone who supports the parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, you are going to want to hop on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's year long Professional Immersion Program. Formerly known as being with. The Professional Immersion Program immerses our students into an experiential program with the neuroscience of big baffling behaviors and the science of connection, safety and co regulation, you'll grow your own capacity to hang out in the hardest places with families of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. And finally feel the professional support you need to work with the families who keep being told by other professionals that they can't help them anymore. We're accepting applications for our 2026 cohorts including the afternoon cohort and the evening Eastern time cohort. That's new for 2026. So if you've been waiting for an evening Eastern time time for the immersion program, which is morning in Asia and Australia, then you're going to want to make sure you're on the waiting list. Head to robngobel.com immersion to get your name on the waiting list and be invited to apply. And of course keep coming back to the podcast. A new episode goes live every week and we're continuously creating more and more free resources for you over on my website, robingobel.com y'.
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A
All.
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B
If you are loving the Baffling Behavior show and wondering where to go next.
- [43:29]
A
Where you can get more support, or.
- [43:32]
B
Maybe you're a professional and you want to bring this work to your clients, I've got three places you can go next. Number one, my USA Today best selling.
- [43:42]
A
Book Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors.
- [43:45]
B
It's been over a year and a half and Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors continues to exceed our wildest dreams. It's breaking sales goals and getting feedback that it's changing people's lives. Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors is available in paperback, ebook and audiobook, which.
- [44:03]
A
I read wherever you buy books online.
- [44:07]
B
Okay, so the second way to get more support is to come join us in the club. The club is an online community of connection, co regulation and yeah, a little education. It's for in the trenches parents where you will get support from me, from my team, and from in the trenches parents all over the world. We have over 500 members. You can come into the club, pick my brain, watch over a hundred different videos, Download well over 50 resources that have been uniquely developed just for families in the club to bring owls and watchdogs and possums into your family. And if you're a professional, a therapist, coach, teacher educator, occupational therapist, daycare owner, anyone who supports the parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, you are going to want to hop on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's year long professional Immersion Program. Formerly known as Being with the Professional Immersion Program immerses our students into an experiential program. With the neuroscience of big Baffling behaviors and the science of connection, safety and co regulation, you'll grow your own capacity to hang out in the hardest places with families of kids with vulnerable nervous systems and finally feel the professional support you need to work with the families and who keep being told by other professionals that they can't help them anymore. We're accepting applications for our 2026 cohorts including the Afternoon cohort and the Evening Eastern Time cohort. That's new for 2026, so if you've been waiting for an evening Eastern time. Time for the Immersion program, which is morning in Asia and Australia. Then you're going to want to make sure you're on the waiting list. Head to robingobel.com immersion to get your name on the waiting list and be invited to apply. And of course, keep coming back to the podcast. A new episode goes live every week and we're continuously creating more and more free resources for you over on my website, robingobel.com.