How to Brainwash Yourself Into Becoming the 1% | Honia Kader

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Balance Theory Episode: How to Brainwash Yourself Into Becoming the 1% | Honia Kader Host: Erika De Pellegrin Guest: Honia Kader, Personal Brand Strategist & Mentor Date: May 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the theme of transcending limiting beliefs to create an exceptional, abundant life, with a special spotlight on women balancing ambition, wealth, and traditional values. Honia Kader shares her journey from a humble, single-parent upbringing in the Middle East to building her own wealth, her unique approach to mindset "brainwashing," and the importance of authenticity, identity work, and conscious boundaries. The discussion is candid, motivational, and peppered with practical wisdom for anyone—especially women—seeking to break their personal “ceiling.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Life, Identity, and Breaking Barriers

• Upbringing and Influence:

  • Honia was raised by a single mother, the first in her family line to go to university and become an engineer.
  • Felt a persistent sense of “wanting more” and a drive to impact people, inspired by her mother’s strength and wisdom.
  • “I always had the feeling inside of me I want more. ...I thought that if I ever become an engineer, that, that's the ceiling. That is the ultimate goal and that's how far I could dream, you know.” (03:49)

• Limiting Beliefs and Cultural Conditioning:

  • Navigated familial and cultural expectations: go to university, get a prestigious job, marry well.
  • Did not voice her deeper aspirations early on, out of respect and gratitude for opportunities her mother fought for.

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2. Major Turning Points: Professional and Personal Rebirth

• From Engineering to Entrepreneurship:

  • Brief stint (6 months) in engineering before launching a beauty business, which grew across a decade but left her feeling trapped and merely “busy.”
  • Realization: Owning a business that depends solely on your presence is akin to having a job; true building is about freedom and assets.

• The “Breakdown” Before the Breakthrough:

  • At age 31, after deep personal heartbreak and increasing misalignment, Honia reached a low point that sparked her greatest transformation.
  • “I wish on everyone that actually wants to elevate in their life, because... that's when my biggest breakthrough came and I started over. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to.” (11:20)

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3. Visibility, Wealth, and the Power of Intentional Action

• Strategies for a New Life:

  • Knew she lacked connections and legacy support. Her assets: her voice, impact, resilience.
  • Set clear goals: “My first goal was to get visible the right way. The second was to make a lot of money.” (13:20)

• Leveraging Social Media:

  • Saw it as an equalizer, even without proof it would work—but relied on vision and intuition.
  • Driven by desire not for materialism but for autonomy and the ability to make choices free from fear.

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4. Deep Mindset Work: “Brainwashing” Yourself into Success

• Identity and Mindset:

  • True transformation isn’t just about copying habits, routines, or even the actions of the wealthy—identity is the root.
  • “It's not in their morning routine...you're not that, you're not there like, mind in your mindset.” (19:06)
  • Imposter syndrome and guilt arose with her first major financial successes, requiring her to rewire her sense of self-worth.
  • “I just had to honestly, like, brainwash myself into knowing that the 1% is not better than me. They're just further.” (21:08)

• Practices for Rewriting Identity:

  • Leaned hard on proximity: intentionally sought out rooms and relationships above her current level.
  • “Go into rooms that you don't belong in, as if you do belong...it almost breaks the shield.” (24:15)
  • Used small wins as personal validation to reinforce beliefs.

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5. Authenticity vs. “Fake It Till You Make It”

• Concrete Perspective:

  • Discourages pretending (“fake it”) in visibility or achievement, especially online. Authenticity builds real trust, connection, and roots for community support.

  • Supports “faking” only in contexts of expanding into new, uncomfortable spaces when you internally doubt your readiness (e.g., speaking or networking).

  • “Show up authentic. Show the journey so people can actually root for you.” (26:06)

  • “Everything outside your comfort zone…yes, you need to fake it until you make it, because…you make it easier for yourself to believe in it and to actually do the work.” (27:00)

  • Alternative language: “Be it until you are it.” (28:07)

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6. Women, Wealth, and Relationship Dynamics

• Breaking Stereotypes:

  • Addresses stigma around wealthy, ambitious women (“cold,” “not a good wife,” “arrogant”).
  • Shares personal marriage dynamic: traditional roles (her husband provides, she manages home and builds her business); mutual respect and celebration.
  • “There's not a lot of men that can handle that...I chose my husband because he's so secure in himself, he'll never be intimidated by my goals.” (29:46)

• Marriage as Foundation:

  • Success, for her, is deeply tied to partner choice—her husband’s support credited for half her success.
  • Mutual reinforcement: each achievement by Honia makes her feel more grounded and soft, not “hard” or distant.
  • “I'm never insecure...because I have the business that I have...it's always out of love.” (33:28)

• Advice for Traditional, Ambitious Women:

  • You don’t need to do everything yourself “just to prove something.” Delegate, lean into support, and choose intentionality in your multitasking and care roles.
  • Strategic self-care and conscious allocation of energy prevent burnout.

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7. Childhood Patterns, Boundaries & Ongoing Self-Regulation

• Healing Old Wounds:
  • Recognizes that being raised without a dad, in a scrutinizing culture, shaped her need to keep her guard up, now softened through a secure marriage.
  • Self-awareness is constant work: “Sometimes...I have to remind myself that you are safe.” (41:08)

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8. Availability as Currency & Protecting Your Energy

• Intentional Boundaries:

  • Honia teaches that being less accessible increases your value: “Availability is currency. Don't be available, don't be accessible.” (46:00)
  • Focuses attention on business, family, and relationships that genuinely nourish her.

• Self-Dialogue:

  • Journaling, prayer, and time alone foster clarity and grounded decision-making:
    • “A lot of people are not talking to themselves. I talk a lot to myself.” (48:27)
    • She considers this a lost art in the era of constant digital distraction.

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9. Social Media & Consumption

• Intentional Creation & Consumption:

  • Follows and consumes only content that serves her growth—no mindless scrolling.

  • Batches content and maintains boundaries on how much of her life she shares.

  • “My, I have my family over here in Dubai…This is called intentional scrolling.” (51:00)

  • Keeps her personal life private despite a public persona.

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10. Personal Joy, Downtime, and Maintaining Balance

• Hobbies and Restorative Practices:

  • Cooking is her love language and way to unwind.

  • Enjoys walking, Pilates, listening to podcasts, intimate gatherings with close friends, and prioritizes quality time over quantity of social events.

  • “People go to the gym and that is their time. For me, I cook and that is my time.” (53:51)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “In order for you to build extraordinary life, you have to cut out the ordinary things... You have to make sacrifices.” (00:01, Honia)
• “I just had to honestly, like, brainwash myself.” (00:46, Honia)
• “Imposter syndrome...I almost had a setback because my identity was not there.” (00:53, Honia)
• “My mindset needs to be there before I ever try to get anywhere in life.” (19:01, Honia)
• “The 1% is not better than me. They're just further.” (21:32, Honia)
• “Show up like authentic. Show up as yourself...Show the journey so people can actually root for you.” (26:03, Honia)
• “Success, you can have once, but if your mindset is not there, it’s never a second one. That’s what people call luck.” (22:06, Honia)
• “Marriage is the most important decision you'll ever make. It's going to be the catalyst for whether you're able to live your life to the full potential or not.” (35:45, Erika)
• “Availability is currency. Don't be available, don't be accessible.” (46:00, Honia)
• “The most important conversation we can have is with ourself.” (49:32, Honia)
• “People go to the gym and that is their time. For me, I cook and that is my time.” (53:51, Honia)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• (00:01-03:49): Introduction, Honia’s background, early influences
• (08:25-12:10): Turning point: quitting engineering, heartbreak, business reevaluation
• (13:20-16:19): Formulating a new vision—visibility and wealth through social media
• (18:50-22:56): Identity work, imposter syndrome, “brainwashing” yourself
• (25:15-28:07): Authenticity vs. “fake it till you make it,” be it until you are it
• (29:09-36:07): Women, wealth, and marriage: stereotypes, partnership strategies
• (36:55-39:05): Advice for ambitious women balancing tradition, motherhood, career
• (40:16-42:54): Healing old programming from upbringing, vulnerability in relationships
• (46:00-49:32): Availability as currency, self-dialogue, importance of reflection
• (50:40-52:42): Social media boundaries and intentionality
• (53:49-54:56): Hobbies, joy, maintaining personal balance

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Closing Thoughts

This conversation is a roadmap for anyone, especially women, seeking to step into abundance without sacrificing their values. Honia’s journey illustrates how mindset, conscious boundary-setting, and authenticity fuel both personal and professional thriving. Her practical tips and willingness to challenge stereotypes make this episode a must-listen for anyone ready to “brainwash” themselves out of limitation and into the 1%.

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Transcript

[A]

In order for you to build extraordinary life, you have to cut out the ordinary things. You have to make sacrifices for things that you used to do that is not fitted in the life that you're building.

[B]

If you're ready to level up your mindset and finally create the life you've been dreaming of, then you do not want to miss this week's episode. Joining me to unveil the mindset secrets to be your most abundant and wealthy self is personal brand strategist and mentor. Homage, Honey Ikeda.

[A]

I always had the feeling inside of me I want more. This kind of wealth that I see right now in my life is not for me. I'm not the 1%. I never thought that I can become what I am today.

[B]

How did you actually become her?

[A]

I just had to honestly, like, brainwash myself.

[B]

Can you tell us how you brainwash yourself?

[A]

Okay, so I had to honestly. First of all, I remember when I made my first big check, I was feeling so guilty. I don't deserve this. I had so much imposter syndrome. I almost had a setback because my identity was not there.

[B]

What does that actually look like? What does the work involve?

[A]

That was honestly the hardest thing.

[B]

When you have women who are really creating their own wealth. We don't really talk about that kind of woman. Also, in a marriage, that's a very interesting combination to me. Talk me through how that dynamic works in your marriage.

[A]

It's just a stigma around. Around women that is successful, that makes money, that she's cold, that she's not a good wife. I'm a very traditional woman. I haven't actually really spoken about this, what we've done in our marriage that works so well for us. This is something that I'm just gonna say very openly.

[B]

All right, balancers, welcome to another episode of the Balance Theory. I'm really excited to learn from today's guest. I find her personally very inspiring. And for all the women, especially listening, who feel like they want to have it all, and what I mean by that is they want to have these careers, they want to create a life for themselves. They want to have family and marriage, we're going to really talk about the practicality of that and what this particular guest has experienced in her own life. So I'm really excited to welcome Honia to the podcast. Welcome.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you, Erica. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. I'm very excited. We have a lot of juicy topics to talk about today that I feel like a lot of women would love. To hear. So thank you very much for the introduction.

[B]

My absolute pleasure. I love your story, particularly because I think a lot of women can see themselves especially where you were not too long ago. And I think that the changes and the growth that you've had in such a short time frame and we look at the span of your life, it's really inspiring. But I think before we get into guess the shift you've had in the last few years, I think it'd be really interesting to understand a little bit more about you and your upbringing. So when you were a child, what kind of future did you see as possible for yourself?

[A]

So obviously I, I've been telling this story so many times because I feel like it is so important for single moms to know or people that were raised by a single parent that hey, you can, you can do well for yourself even though you don't have both parents. So I was obviously raised by a single mom. She worked, she's the hardest working in the room always. She's my absolute inspiration in life. And she worked really hard for me and my sister to, to make it in life. And to make it in life in her world and in my world was to, you know, get a degree and go to university. I was actually the first one in my entire bloodline that ever went to university, which is absolutely crazy because my mom is not an old generation, but I come from a working family where they all worked at a very young age. So none of them really went to school. And it was my mom's biggest dream for me to, you know, to finish a university. Whether that was to become a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer. I became an engineer. So I made her proud. But then for me, when I grew up, I thought that if I ever become an engineer, that, that, that's the ceiling. That is the ultimate goal and that's how far I could dream, you know. But growing up, I always had the feeling inside of me that okay, I do want to make my family proud, but is. Is that really what I want? But of course, like that was not something that I even dare to say out loud because I, I saw it as such a privilege. And it is a privilege to be able to study and go to school and have opt knew that in somehow I am different. Like I want more. You know, when you're daydreaming. I would never daydream to, to work a 9 to 5 or to have a prestige like job. I always daydream to impact people, to do something like extraordinary. And I could never like understand why? But I just had that in me while I was growing up. So for me, honestly, coming from the background that I come from, I come from the Middle east, growing up with a single parent, I never thought that I can become what I am today. So for me, the ceiling was basically to just get a degree. And that is the ultimate where I can and marry a good man that can provide. That was the ultimate that I thought was possible for me.

[B]

And when you talk about like you daydreaming, you had this feeling like you wanted to have impact. Where do you think that came from? Like, was there any influences, was there anything you saw, read, or people you met early on that maybe in your subconscious had that impact on you?

[A]

I think, you know, my mom shaped me in so many ways. And like growing up, I. I would always tell my mom, mom, why don't you write a book? Mom, you know so much, mom, you're so smart, you have so much wisdom. Because she was the eldest in the family, so she was always the one giving the best advices, impacting her entire like family, siblings, even her parents. But she never get to be on that stage. So looking at her, I was always like, me and my mom were so similar in so many ways. And I always thought that you never got to really do it like outside of your family. I really hope that I can do it instead of you. You know what I mean? So I think that shaped me when I was younger, looking at my mom and seeing her force and seeing her power, but never really getting there. So for me, that was a tribute to her to just daydream like that because obviously it wasn't possible for her. And I just wanted a way to make it possible for me, but obviously I didn't know the way then.

[B]

That's really beautiful. I'm sure she's very proud of you today.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

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[B]

What was the moment for you where you were like, I'm an engineer. I've kind of. I've done it right. Like, I've made my family so proud. Like, I've had the privilege of obtaining this degree. But I feel like there's more talk to me through that moment because I think there's two parts to this that a lot of people don't really dive into. There's the part where you acknowledge it and you feel it and you're like, okay, I'm feeling this. And then there's the part where you actually take action and either you know what to do or you figure it out. So walk me through the moment where you, like, this is the turning point.

[A]

Yeah. So when I graduated, I actually didn't. I only worked as an engineer for six months. And then I was like, no, I'm gonna open my own beauty business. So I did open my own beauty business. I did that for 10 years, worked really, really hard, worked six days a week running several beauty businesses. And then at that moment, it came to a moment where I actually, I was like, wait, there is a difference between being busy and between being productive or doing the things that you actually love. And I just realized I was just very busy. Because what is the outcome of me being so busy and working so hard? I had nothing to show for it, Honestly, like, when I was looking at my life, okay, what do I own? Where's my assets? What do I have? I'm literally working day and night. What do I have? Okay, I have a beauty business, but if I'm not there, my business will collapse. So I have a job. Because if you're not going to your job, you're not going to get your salary. It was the same thing for me. I didn't build a business that could fully operate, operate without me. You know, the 1k man, exactly.

[B]

1k woman risk.

[A]

Exactly. Like, everyone's like, no, I need you to be there if I'm gonna come to your salon or whatever. So I. I felt like, okay, I was 31. And of course, when. When you are starting over or where you are doing something, it's not that it's happened on that day or specific, you know, date. It was something in me that I felt for the past, like, three to four years, but I never did anything about it because every time I wanted to do something about it, something came in my way. I was too comfortable. You know, when you are doing enough and you're just comfortable and your surrounding is telling you you're doing good, like, what else do you want? And you just cannot point out what's wrong. So you just, you know, you live with it. Okay. So it came to a point where I actually got like an actual heartbreak. I got so heartbroken. So it wasn't just that my business didn't feel aligned or I didn't have anything to show. It wasn't just the financial. It was also my personal Life. I was 31 and I was unaligned. I felt so unaligned with the city that I was living in, with the people. Tired of the same mindset, tired of what was imposed on me, like, this is the right thing. But says who? Like, it's not the right thing for me, you know, So I had a brutal heartbreak that I wish on everyone that actually wants to elevate in their life, because I feel like that's some. Sometimes that's what you need. And that became the biggest blessing for me because when I was deep down in. In the trenches, literally, like, couldn't even. I thought that I cannot survive this. That's when my biggest breakthrough came and I started over. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Like, there was no other way. Wells, I can never go back, you know.

[B]

So you're 31, heartbroken, feeling completely misaligned. Where do you even start to figure out what's next? Because when you're feeling those things right, it's like your lowest low. Yeah. And like you said, you've kind of stepped away from maybe two parts, the business path and a career, being an engineer, which people may look at and say, that's. That's like a no brainer choice when you're stepping away from something that has very clear path, you know what to expect. There's clarity, there's comfort. Like you were saying, where do you even start to work out? Like, how do I How do I know where to go from here?

[A]

Okay, well, I knew a few things that was certain, which was I don't have a dad. I don't have family connections where they can take me to big places. I don't have a husband where I can, you know, lean onto him to. To get where I want in life. So I knew, what do I have? I have a voice, right? And I. I have impact and I have power, which is in me. And that is something no one can take away from me. And I also knew that looking at the world as it is then three years ago, I know we were living in a world where you didn't need all of that to actually make it. So I knew that I needed to get seen. But it is very, very hard to make that decision because I was invisible for 31 years. So now how do you get seen? How do you, like, how do you do it? And I had no idea. But all I knew is I wanted to get seen, seen the right way because I knew that if I was visible, I would have a lot of opportunities to business. And that was the first thing that I knew. The second thing is that honestly, I wanted to make a lot of money because in my entire life, I saw my mom work so hard and she could just give us the bare minimum, right? That's all she could because at that time they were trading their time for money. She was a hairdresser, so she could only work like 10 hours per day, you know, So I knew that working. I wanted to work so hard because I knew that that would give me so much freedom and so much options in life and that I never had to make decisions like from fear or make decision out of desperation or make decision where it wasn't aligned with me. So my first goal was to get visible the right way. The second was to make a lot of money. And I saw social media as the biggest opportunity. But of course, like, did I had the result that or did I have the proof that it's going to work for me? Of course not. But I just had a vision and a burning feeling inside of my heart that I have to work.

[B]

Do you feel like that, that burning feeling you're talking about, that's your intuition talking to you? Or do you feel like it's desire? Like, how do you make sense of that? Because I. I know the feeling. Yeah, it's like it's a knowing that you got to do something. But for you, how do you describe it?

[A]

I describe it as my intuition and God telling me to live My full potential. Because for so many years, looking back now, I know why I wasn't feeling well. Because I was literally living between a glitch. Like it was. I was in a glitch between my potential where I could be and my reality where I was right. So I know that I lived there on that glitch for so many years. And that was why I was unwell. Like now I know. But it wasn't desire. Because what was my desire, my desires was not just materialistic thing. It was a lot of things like that come from my childhood. That comes from things that I've been going through, you know, in my entire life. So it was more. God, and my intuition telling me, you are meant for more. And it was that voice in inside me when I was a little girl, like, feeling I'm always different. So I had to act on it. I was 31. Like, if I don't act on it, who's gonna act on it?

[B]

You know, I think. I think a lot of us have those thoughts. But then to, you know, to do it. Yeah, that's why you're sitting here in this chair telling your story. You know, the execution pieces is interesting to me. Hydration is honestly one of my daily non negotiables for consistent energy so that I can show up and do what I need to do every day to create my dream life. Just like we've been talking about in this episode. Which is why paying attention to the quality of my drinking water is constantly front of mind. I used to honestly drink tap water so innocently, thinking I was doing the right thing by hydrating without realizing it could put me and my family at risk for devastating health concerns. Especially considering that three out of four US Homes have toxic chemicals in their tap water. I was so shocked to learn that standard fridge and pitcher filters do very little to remove most contaminants. And as we know, most bottled water contains microplastics. So what is the solution? I want to introduce you guys to Aquatru, the countertop water purifier. Tested and certified to remove 84 contaminants, including chlorine, lead, forever chemicals, and you got it. Microplastics. It's got a patented four stage reverse osmosis system that goes way beyond your ordinary filters for pure, healthy water that you can trust for your family. I love that it's got no plumbing and no installation. Aquatrue has been featured in Business Insider, Popular Science and named the best countertop water filter by Good housekeeping. To join 98% of customers that say their drinking water is cleaner, safer and healthier and take the guesswork out of pure great tasting water. Head to aquatrue.com and you can use the promo code Erica, that's E R I K A to get up to 20% off your purifier. AquaTrue comes with a 30 day money back guarantee and a one year warranty so you can try it with full comfort and trust. Thank you so much to Aqua True for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the show. I think a lot of what we think right, when we look at like someone like you and your story, we try and dissect or we think about, okay, what did she do? She started showing up online, what all the practical things you did. But what I'm really interested in is the identity work, right? The hidden things that maybe you do talk about. But how did you actually become her, become that person that you saw yourself, that was meant for more? Because it's, you know, you spent 31 years not just seeing your mom, I guess, trading her time for money. You then did that yourself. Yeah, I have gone through a similar shift in the last few years. And you know, that actual mindset shift of how you make money, of how money is accessible to people, of how you work, of your relation to the world. There's a lot going on there. So can you walk us through actually the hidden work, the identity piece that you did to become you?

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a very, very good question because a lot of people, they might be analyzing, okay, what does wealthy people do? How do they have the success? They just see the outwork or the outcome of, you know, the work, but they don't the habits.

[B]

Right. They try to look at everything.

[A]

Exactly. What is their morning routine? What is it? No, no, no, it's not in there at all. Because I can give you the sauce, I can tell you what to do, but then you're not going to do it because you don't, you're not that you're not there like mind in your mindset. And I think that mindset is the foundation of everything that we want to do. If I don't have the mindset to, you know, to get where I want when it comes to my fitness, I won't get to where I want. Even though I, I hire the best personal trainer, I hire the best chef to cook me. Like, I just need to have it in my, my mindset needs to be there before I ever try to get anywhere in life. So I think the inner work that I had to do, that was honestly the hardest thing that a lot of people will be like, wow, like, really, did she ever thought that? And that was like, I had so much imposter syndrome. And I think it was also shape because, first of all, like, I had. You know, when you're checking all the boxes of having imposter syndrome, I. I don't have a dad. I grew up in the Middle east where a woman is not allowed to speak up the way I do. I was in relationship where I always felt like I'm nothing without them. Like, you're, You're. You're just someone because you're with me. Things that, like rejections that you go through in life and just, you know that it's not true, but it's going to affect you. Right? So I had a lot of imposter syndromes in terms of. Well, that this kind of wealth that I see right now in my life is not for me. I'm not the 1%. Why would I be? Not someone with my background, not with. With where I come from. Like, it just. It's not for me. It's for other people. And I just had to honestly, like, brainwash myself into knowing that the 1% is not better than me. They're just further. They're not better, they're just further. And I just need to go that race and I'm going to be one of them. So. And I remember when I, you know, made my first big check, I was feeling so guilty. First of all, I feel. I felt so guilty that I'm not. I don't deserve this. Like, no one in my bloodline ever made this kind of money. Why would I? I don't deserve this. So I almost had a setback because my identity was not there. So I kind of took a step back and then I had to work on myself to understand, hey, like, don't see this as a guilt or it's just numbers, you know, and it is a result and is a byproduct of your hard work and you deserve it. So I think that a lot of people think that mindset is fluff or working on yourself is fluff. But I'm gonna be honest. You can have success once, but if your mindset is not there, it's not gonna be a second one. It's not gonna be a third one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just gonna happen once. And that's what people call luck.

[B]

Yeah. And I am so interested. Like, this is. This is the stuff I love. I love getting into because I personally believe we've all been here, right, where we're sitting in a position where we want something, but we think, I'm not seen. Someone's not giving me the opportunity. If this person just gave me the pay rise or gave me the collaboration with this brand, right, Then I would have the things without realizing. If you shift your identity, those things would come. It's actually, it really is the reverse of what we think, because the reality is, like, we could have two people who presented with the same opportunity, but because one doesn't think they're worthy, they won't go for it or it won't come their way. And so this part is really interesting to me. Can you tell us how you brainwash yourself? What does that actually look like? What does the work involve?

[A]

Okay, so I had to, honestly, first of all, I believe that people will get first. It all starts with the vision. You have a vision and a desire, and you almost feel a burn in the inside of it that you want to do something different, right? But that willpower or that feeling only lasts as much as, you know, maybe six months or maximum a year, like, for someone that's very, very sharp. But I. But what I did was I acted on it, right? And when I saw the tiniest result that it actually worked, that what made me basically keep doing it, right? And I use that small, small result, even it was a tiny, tiny result. But I use that as validation for myself to say, honia, you did that. You can do it. And then also, I believe so much in proximity and basically going into rooms that you don't belong in, as if you do belong and basically sit with people that are where you want in life and have the success that you want, or it is top, the top 1%. And I think that when you get close enough to them, it almost break the shield of they're not human. They're. They're so much better than you. Like, you just realize they're just you. You know, they're just you. But the only difference is that they started a little bit before you. And, and you can, like, you can outwork them. Like, I know it's, it's. It feels a little bit weird to hear, but it is actually true. I've outworked a lot of people that I still admire them. I have so much respect for them, but I outwork them because I just didn't stop. And I. And I believe that, okay, I hit this milestone now. What's next? Like, for me right now, in my mindset, nothing. Is impossible. There is no rooms I cannot go to. There is nowhere I don't belong. Like, the world is your playground. Right. So I. I think I had to do it simultaneously, but also. But it was easier because when you see a small result, see that as validation that you deserve it and it works.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. Because you. We do get these opportunities to speak to ourselves in a different way, tell ourselves a different story about what something means.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it is. It's an ongoing thing. Right. It's not like you do the work

[A]

once it's actually been overnight. I promise.

[B]

You have to really, like, continuously do that. And one thing I wanted to ask you was, what's the difference with, like, faking it until you make it? Right. Showing up in those rooms even when you don't feel ready, you know, how do people navigate maybe putting themselves in the environment they want to be in without feeling like I'm just. I'm just faking it to be here, you know, what's the difference in there? Because you hear a lot of people give advice, just fake it till you make it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I personally don't really love that because it feels very forced for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But what are your thoughts on that?

[A]

Very interesting. So, first of all, I think this is my take on fake it until you make it. A lot of people, when they show up on social media especially, they're like, fake it until you make it. Like, even though you're not there, you're not making that kind of money. Just. Just fake it. I don't believe in that. Because people see right through you. And then like, when you say, for example, I make six figures, you can see who makes six figures and who's not making six figure. And I'm not even talking about the materialistic. You can see their mindset and how they're speaking like someone that. Because to make six figures means, you know, making over $100,000. For you to be able to do that, you have another mindset than someone that is. That has never done it. So people can see through it. So I don't agree with that at all. I always tell everyone that I coach and work with that show up like authentic. Show up as yourself and show up. Don't show up as the expert and the perfect, you know, women online, show up. Show the journey so people can actually root for you. So when you hit your whatever goal it is, people are cheering for you because they know how hard you work, you know, and people will have so much love for you. But there is another Side of. I believe that, yes, here you need to fake it until you make it. And that is to believe that you are worthy of rooms and conversation and access to places where society might tell us so you're not where you should be. So you don't belong in this room, or you don't belong with this kind of group of people. And. Or, for example, you get invited to a podcast to speak on stage. Stage. And you don't feel ready. You need to fake it until you make it. Because I don't think the best speaker in the world, Tony Robbins, was ready the first time he went up to stage. He had to fake it until he actually made it. So I believe that everything that is outside of your comfort zone, yes, you need to fake it until, like, you believe in it like it is. Honestly, you make it easier for yourself to believe in it and to actually do the work.

[B]

I like this. Someone on the podcast once said to me, instead of thinking of it as fake it till you make it, you change the language to be it until you are it. So you're just showing up until you are. And I like what you said before. Like, when you're in those rooms, when you're speaking to those people, you're almost piercing that veil or that barrier between, like, that's my future and that's my now. By you actually going there, you're like, oh, I'm in it now. You know, and this is what it feels like. It doesn't feel. Feel that distant anymore. So you are creating that familiarity with it. Another thing I find really interesting, you know, and the. I think the. What you represent in terms of your personal brand is very empowering for women, both financially, in their careers. It's to take charge of their own life and really be as abundant as they possibly can. And I love that. I do feel, and I hope you don't take offense to this, I do feel a lot of the women that are embracing these kinds of values, there is a sense of, you know, don't need no man. Do it yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I find it really interesting. You are actually married.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so I'd love to hear your take on, I guess, embodying these values. I'm not necessarily saying you feel that you don't need no man, but I feel like when you have women who are really creating their own wealth, we don't really talk about that kind of woman. Also in a marriage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a very interesting combination to me. So talk me through how that dynamic works in your marriage. Was this Something that was difficult did you find? You know, I mean, I. I don't know anything about your husband, but I would really love to hear your thoughts, because I feel it's not often really spoken about.

[A]

I haven't actually really spoken about this, but it's such an important topic. I remember when I got married, someone said. Said, oh, my God, everyone's going to say, oh, my gosh, she's married. Like, everything. She advocates and she's married. And I think that's such a big misunderstanding because I need my husband and he needs me. I. You need, like, we need each other as a. As a man and a woman. Right. But what I advocate for is that you are your own person and that you are independent. But of course, like, I never said that you don't need a man in. In any how or shape or form, because I don't actually believe in that. And what we've done in our marriage, that works so well for us. Obviously, this is something that I'm just gonna say very openly, it is for the women that are wealthy, making money. They will know what I mean. The dating pool is very, very limited because it's just a stigma around women that is successful, that makes money, that she's cold, that she's not a good wife, that she's, you know, maybe, like, arrogant. And there's not a lot of men that can handle that pressure. Right. So, first of all, I chose my husband because he's so secure in himself, like, so secure, which I saw that he will never be intimidated by my, like, my goals and my passion. So I think that if you are with a man that is insecure, and I've been with. With a man that is insecure, and I had to dim my light so much and shrink so he could get comfortable. So I think choosing your partner as a woman is so important because I always say I take, like, a lot of my success, like, 50% of my success. I thank my husband for it because he was literally my biggest supporter through all of it. And he was, like, with me from the start. Right. But what we do, that works very, very well for me, and I'm a very traditional woman. You know, I really believe in the dynamic, like, between a man and a woman. Like, I don't want to take on that responsibility as a man. So we do everything as a traditional, you know, husband and wife. He provides for the household, he provides for me, and he honestly just see it as a gift that. That I am who I am. He. He see it as, like, the biggest Flex in his life where he say, like, this is my wife, you know? So I think that that is very, very important for me to be married with someone that first, takes pride in what I do, second is happy for me and doesn't see it as a threat, you know? But I also think that it's not just on the man. It's on the woman as well. Like, because I feel like at the beginning of my relationship with my husband, he looked a lot on my attitude. Every time I hit a huge goal, I did something. He almost looked at me to see where I am, you know, if I ever, like, think, no, I am better now, or I don't need you, or if I become arrogant. But he saw that every time I just made more money or became more successful, I became more grounded and basically, like, more we need to protect it. It's ours. It's our families, you know? So I also made him feel reassured that no matter what, like, it's just me and you forever, you know? And I think that that is so important that women understands it is not don't make money to be arrogant to your husband, or don't make money to think I'm gonna leave my husband. No, no, no, no. I feel like I am such a feminine wife because I make money. Because, first of all, none of my decisions, or if my husband leaves the house or. Or goes to Goes out with his friends. I'm never insecure in a way where, oh, my God, do you think he will find another woman or he will cheat on me? What am I gonna do? Like, what's gonna happen with my life, with my finances? I know that that's a reality for a lot of women. So what happened is they will be desperate. They will act, like, clingy on their husband because they're insecure in so many level. It's not just love. It's almost like their entire life. But because I have the business that I have where I get to be present, where I make a lot of money, I never act out of desperation. It's always out of love, you know? And I think that makes you so soft as a woman, and it is the contrary of what the world tells us, that women. That makes a lot of money is not soft, which is an absolute lie. I've never been this soft in my entire life. I love that.

[B]

I actually love that we're having this conversation, because I do agree there is that stereotype on successful women being quite cold. And I'm very similar to you. I'm. I have my ambitions I've got my own businesses and things going on. Like, I'm a lawyer by trade.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

Yeah. But I. I'm Italian. I'm very traditional. You know, I make the home. He provides for the house. I make the home. You know, I love cooking. I'm very, very traditional in that regard. And that's not to say he doesn't help around the house. Like, I'm not going that far, but. But I do really respect that balance. But it is interesting just hearing how other people do it, because we're in a similar boat. Like, we actually. I'm sure by the sounds of it, you know, your husband's such a big supporter of you. Mine is the same for me. We look at, like we're a family unit, and we're both just providing and growing our family in different ways. Like, we have a daughter now. So that's added a different balance and priority into the mix. But everything we do is, is it for the best thing for our family?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And someone asked me on a podcast the other day, they said, what do you think is the most important decision you'll ever make? And I said, who you marry, it is because it's going to be the catalyst for whether you're able to live your life to the full potential or not. You're going to have someone that supports you or someone that, like you said, you're going to have to dim your light for. And I've also been in that relationship in the past, so it's so important.

[A]

So important. So I'm happy that I met him after 30, so I could, like, actually see what I need and what I want and not just choose someone based on, you know, when you're younger, you don't really think that far. So marry after 30 girls.

[B]

You sort of touched on it before. But for those women who maybe align with what we're saying. Right. They have their own ambitions, but they do feel really, like, traditional. Like, maybe they are moms, they want to be moms, or they just feel like they are the homemaker in their home. What advice do you have for them if they feel a little bit of friction between, like, being the type of person that is on and working and building their career or their business or their dreams and then shifting into the energy they need for home?

[A]

Very good question. I. I feel like that also depends on who you're married to, because I know that in so many household, the women have to keep it together for the home, for the finances, you know, be the breadwinner. I Think that if you're all of that pressure is on you and your husband is not doing any of that part, it's going to be very, very hard to lean into your femininity. So for those women that have that sort of like support from the husband where whether that is financial support or they help out at the house, don't try to do everything by yourself. I'm not saying women cannot, of course we can. But you don't want that emotional dump on you. I know that I can be an amazing mom. I know that I can take care of my family financially. I know that I can. I'm a good cook, you know, I, I can cook, I can clean, I can do all of that. I know that. But do I want to take all that responsibility on me just to say, hey, I can do it? Because that will actually lead me to burnout. So I don't really. I know that we are living in a world where women is like, we can do everything. We're like, yes, we can. But you shouldn't, if you have the support, you shouldn't just to prove something, you know what I mean? I know that I can do a lot of things, but I choose what I want to do. For example, I choose my career because it actually makes me more soft and more feminine in my life. Because if I don't choose the career that I am now, I have to go and work a 9 to 5 and I won't have time to take care of my looks, I won't have time to get in my workout, to actually have time to cook, to like there is things that I think about that my business gives me and people might see it as, oh, she's losing herself as a wife, as a woman, on the contrary, I am so much of a woman because of how like hard I work, but on the right things.

[B]

I love that you brought this up. You know, it really just made me think about because my parents are divorced as well, my dad is in the picture. But I did grow up with my mum, you know, she was single, single mom, four kids, she was doing it all. I am in a relationship that I think is extremely healthy where I have so much support from my husband. But interestingly, when I had my daughter, I ended up having a C section. Right. So I needed a lot of support.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was this really interesting situation where I didn't always need the help.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like I could do the washing, I could make dinner tonight. But it was just nice to have that support from my mother in law or my Mom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But actually getting to a point where I accepted that help and was like, the ego was down of, like, I don't need to do it all myself. Even though I was in that supporting relationship, like, that was a bit of a process for me. Do you feel that anything from your childhood, especially, like the way you maybe saw your mom working hard and that definition you had of hard work and money, do you feel like any of that comes up from time to time, even though you're in this new identity, do you experience any of those old patterns? And if so, can you. Do you feel comfortable sharing?

[A]

Yes, actually very, very interesting question. Because of course, growing up the way I did, it was not. First of all, I had an amazing childhood. My mom was absolute, like, the best she could ever be. I'm so grateful for her. But obviously, as a girl growing up without a dad, like, it leaves a scar on you. Right. And it's not the softest childhood, if I can put it that way, because you're not. Is the attacks or the attacks, like the things that you like, the things that you go through is not just to you, but it's. You see your mom go through it as well. Sure. As a single mom in the Middle Eastern culture, there is a lot of eyes on her, a lot of people talking, you know, that. That is very, very normal in my culture. So you see the attacks happening on your family, so you have to, like, be like. You have to have your guards up. And I had my guards up my entire life. And this is the first time ever I actually let my guard down with my husband. And it is so scary. It is the scariest thing I've ever done. And sometimes, honestly, I caught. I literally called myself with my guards up. And I have to remind myself that you are safe. It's okay. And he's such a good at, you know, reg. Regulating those feelings for me because he see it and he just reminds me that's he. He just say, I'm not your dad or I'm not those people. I'm not. Like, he just reminds me of why I felt so safe and why I chose him, you know? And besides from that, I also. Sometimes, you know, when you are growing up the way I did, you are thinking about, like family household, like almost it's given that when you have kids, it's yours. Like, it is your responsibility. Like, it's not shared, you know, just because that's how I grew up, you know. But now when I think about having kids with my husband, sometimes I get the. These Thoughts that Honia, can you take the full responsibility? But then I'm like, wait, wait, wait, stop. You're not alone. You have a husband. And it is, it is a shared responsibility. So it is those old patterns that comes back. But I have to remind myself and I'm so blessed to have a supportive husband that he's so good at, at seeing those signs in me. So he literally just, you know, calms me down.

[B]

He sounds like an amazing person and actually sounds very similar to my husband.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I think we should all meet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have a dinner or something. It's very important who you choose to bring into your dreams, your life, because they will be a co creator, not just your family, but like, you know what, you end up experiencing this world. So I'm really happy for you that you have someone who sounds like an amazing supporter.

[A]

Yes, he is. And just to add on that, I get a lot of questions from girls following me and they say, why did you choose your husband? You know, and I believe that I choose, I chose my husband because first of all, I saw all the things in him that I never seen in a man or that I lacked. Right. And I also chose him based on now we're not parents yet, but I see how amazing of that he will be. So that's what I want for my kids. So I feel like I am almost like healing through my future kids, you know what I mean? So, yes, because I see so much of like those traits in him that I never seen, you know, in the men in my, in my family. So that is the reason why I chose him. I didn't just choose a man that, you know, I can have fun with today or I think I chose the best dad for my future kids and the man that can, you know, heal me as well. And that's all I needed, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Let me tell you, when you watch them care for your child, dials up the love in ways like you. I just can't even express to you, like the way it makes me feel seeing him love our daughter. You know, it's an extension of the love he gives me, but it's just the most beautiful thing. So really excited for you guys. Thank you. How did you guys meet, by the way?

[A]

Oh, very random. So I was on a vacation in Sweden and he was on a vacation. He's actually also born in Sweden. Sweden. But he didn't live in Sweden at that time. He lived in Spain. So he was on vacation. I was on vacation out night with my friends. Same things for him. And then after that night out, I wanted to have a hot dog. So apparently he wanted to have a hot dog as well. So we met outside of a hot dog station.

[B]

Wow, that's. That's probably a very special hot dog spot now.

[A]

It is. You'll have to go back, actually. He was like, I'm going to buy that spot. How funny.

[B]

Oh, that's awesome. I love when the universe just.

[A]

Yeah. So weird. Like, both of us was there on vacation. We're both from Sweden, but we were there on vacation. That's how we met. Yeah.

[B]

You can't. You. You cannot write that into your story. Any, any with any clarity or any prediction. It just happens. That's beautiful. The last thing I want to chat to you about is something I find really interesting. I haven't actually heard somebody talk about it. You. You shared some content on your page. You talk about availability, currency. Do you have any? Well, firstly, can you share with us what it is? And secondly, do you have any rules for yourself to maintain your availability currency?

[A]

Yes, it might sound a little bit harsh. Availability is currency. Don't be available, don't be accessible. But I think that in order for you to build extraordinary life, you have to cut out the ordinary things. Things in your life. You have to make sacrifices for things that you used to do that were in your comfort zone. That is. Is not fitted in the life that you're building. So before the woman that I was before, I was saying yes to things where I meant no, I was accepting things where I didn't want to. But, you know, I'm just accessible. I'm just there for everyone. And what happened is I started becoming resentful to the people that I said yes to. And those people just, you know, they didn't appreciate me because I was just always there. And I think that I started to. I'm very, very, like, cautious about who I spend time with, about what takes my energy. Like, very, very cautious. Basically, I am like all in on my business and on my family. Right. So anything else in between that if it doesn't serve me in a way where when I say serve me, it might sound like if I'm not benefiting and I don't need to benefit from something like financially or in my business, but sometimes a conversation like we have right now is benefiting me to my, like, for my heart and my soul, and that is a gain, you know, and if I don't have a gain, then I don't see it as important or I don't want to give my energy to it. So I was in a lot of group chats before, you know, in a lot of group chats where we're just talking nonsense. And I'm not saying that I don't talk to my friends. I do sometimes that's all the cure that I need, you know, to just talk shit and just be a girl. But it is not something that I give my time to every single day. I work so much on, like, self development and listening to podcasts, reading. So the time that I have besides, you know, being with my family, my husband, or working on my business, I really want to work on myself and have conversations with myself because I feel like a lot of people are not talking to themselves. I talk a lot to myself.

[B]

Are you like, do you journal? Do you think in your mind? Like, how do you do that?

[A]

First, I love to just write down things. I'm a big on, like, words. So I write down what I feel, write down what I'm thinking. And I can just. Honestly, I can sit on my office for hours and just look in the blank and just think and just talk to myself, why did. What are we doing? Where are we heading? And I always talk. I talk to God as well. I pray. And I feel like that is the best meditation ever, to pray and to speak to God. So I do that a lot. And I used to not do that. I used to talk to people. And I feel like everyone is in their own reality and they give you advices based on what they've seen and their reality and what they think is best. Sometimes even your mom cannot give you the best, the best advice. So I talk to myself so much nowadays it sounds very, like, creepy, but I think it's the most important conversation we can is with ourself 100%.

[B]

And I actually think this, I think this is a skill, to be honest, because of how much time we now spend on our phones, because of how distracted our energy and our attention is in this 2026. I think the art of being able to sit with yourself and it's just that mental space, like I just have space to be able to sift through how I'm feeling, how I'm thinking. I don't need to distract myself from how I'm feeling and thinking. I just need to think about it and connect with it. That is actually, I think, a very lost art. And I think it's so important. Especially if you're anyone who's a creator or you're wanting to build anything intentional from an aligned place, having that check in with yourself. And actually I like what you said that you're almost replacing having it with other people and having it with yourself is such a nice way to think about your availability. I'm curious, as someone who obviously you have a business that you create a lot of content online. What is your personal rule with your actual consumption of content online?

[A]

Honestly, I just have to say it. I was someone that was scrolling for hours and hours and hours. If you would ask me, what did you see? I don't remember. I was just, you know, when you're dead brain, just scrolling. I don't do that anymore. First of all, I, I don't even follow people that I don't really want to learn from or I don't get inspired from. I don't follow stuff that like, it's just gonna take my energy, you know. So I, I'm. I'm really on a like a mental diet when it comes to consumption of. Of content. When I scroll, most of the time, 80% of the time when I scroll is for my work is to get inspiration to the intention. It's very intentional. Like funny thing, my, I have my family over here in Dubai. Last night I was laying down in the sofa and I was scrolling, saving video, doing this like I have so many like folders. Obviously my sister was like, oh, this is so nice. Is this your free time? I said, no, I'm working. She said, working. You're on, you're on TikTok. I said, yeah, I'm working. This is called intentional scrolling. So I'm very, very intentional with. I don't. Just the time that I'm not creating content or that I'm not posting or that I just don't consume. Like there is a life outside of this app. And I think also the way I built my brand, I don't share in real time what I do, what I eat, who I'm with. Because I don't think that, you know, a lot of people think that being a content creator you need to be honest. Honest.

[B]

No.

[A]

I batch my content. I have days where I film. I say stuff that is intentional, that is, that can help people. I don't just show up to, to just show up like being consistent and sorry, but just stuck. Shit is not what, like that's not what we're here for. We're here for to do like intentional content. That's what I'm here for. And that also allows me to be very private because I'm actually, I'm a public figure, but I'm also very private.

[B]

I think you've just actually broken down a lot of the things that people would think are true about being a content creator that are not, in fact true. Like, you can be successful and keep your privacy and not be on 20. You know, like, I actually, yesterday I started my personal brand. I've had this podcast for six years, and I've always thought, you know, it would be such a beautiful value add for me to just share a little bit more about, you know, exactly my thoughts, the things I'm learning. And I finally did it yesterday. So it's really funny we're having this conversation now, but I had to break down a lot of these things that I thought were true. Like, no, I don't have to show every part of my life. I don't have to record 24 7. It's now I'm learning the intention piece. And, you know, it's funny. It's actually made me much more intentional with my use of social media as well, because it's such a draining. It can be such a draining experience.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Quick last question. What do you do for entertainment when you're not, you know, when you just want to switch off and you're not worried about working or working on your mindset or physically working out and you're not connecting with your husband? Like, it's just you switch off. What do you like to do?

[A]

I like to cook. Cook.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

That is my, I think, my love language. And what I. What gets me happy. Like, sometimes my friends are like, honia, why do you cook every day? You're a businesswoman. You can use that time to just order in. You know what? Like, for me, that is. People go to the gym and that is their time. For me, I cook and that is my time. You know, I love that. So I love to host, I love to have friends over. I love to take care of people where, like, we're just spending quality time. I love to listen to podcasts. That is my thing. Like, I love podcasts. I love to walk. I'm not trying to be a gym girly. I'm not a gym girly, but I love to walk. I love to walk. I love Pilates. That is one of my favorite things to do. So, yeah, just, you know, the. I love to spend time with the people that is very close to me. I don't think. I don't like to hang out with people that's, you know, like just friends that you have for going out. I don't really do that.

[B]

Yeah. And I found in Dubai specifically, it can be a very transient city. You know, people are coming, going. They've decided they're only here for a certain amount of years. So, yeah, when you can cut through that and you can find the people that you deeply connect with, it's. It. It's beautiful. You know, you can have those friendships that feel like family and do the things you love, but that's. I've really, really enjoyed getting to know you today. Thank you so, so much for your time. I love the way you're so intentional and you show up and you're really inspiring women in such a beautiful way. So thank you for what you do, and I'm really.

[A]

Thank you for having me.

[B]

I'm really inspired by the life you've created. So thank you.

[A]

I appreciate it. Thank you for having me. It was amazing, and it was a pleasure seeing you, and you're doing an absolute amazing or. I wish you all the best.

[B]

Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

If you're still watching at this point, something here matters to you. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss future conversations. And if somebody came to mind during this episode, trust that instinct and share this with them.