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This one idea changed the way I saw every relationship. Professional, romantic, personal, you name it, it helped me stop over giving. So, people pleasers, this one's for you. And protect my energy in the most empowering way ever. If you've ever felt misunderstood, emotionally drained by people, or like you're the one always doing the emotional heavy lifting, this next five minutes is going to feel like a permission slip, like an answer from above that you've been waiting for. And so I'm really excited to share it with you on today's episode. If we haven't met before, my name's Erica. I'm the host and founder of the Balance Theory podcast and this channel is dedicated to all things personal growth and self development. It's a personal journey I've been on over the last five years and I feel so privileged to have been able to create a community and a platform where I can not only learn and grow, but I can connect with so many of you. So if you've watched a few of our episodes, forget to hit that subscribe button. And make sure you like this video. If you get some value out of it too. So let's get into it, because this will change the way you interact with people. Here's the bottom line. People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. I'm just gonna say that again. Just let it marinate. People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. So what does this mean? I'll give you a couple of examples. If someone hasn't processed their own emotions, they they're going to struggle to hold space for yours. If they don't value honesty within and from themselves, then they're probably not going to value your honesty or vulnerability. If they avoid depth or going to that level with themselves, then they might show some resistance towards your authenticity. Not because you're too much, but because it mirrors what they're yet to explore within themselves. And the shift is it's not your job to make people get it. It's your job to choose who you give your energy to, knowing that people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. So that friend who always shuts down deeper conversations, it's not personal, it's just where they're personally at. That partner who maybe shuts you down or doesn't know how to listen when you're trying to express your needs, they probably never learned space on how to do that, let alone do it for themselves. That colleague who avoids honest feedback or constructive criticism, they're probably avoiding or trying not to confront that about themselves. When I got this, I stopped trying to force connection and I started to honor alignment and recognize both. So some really practical things you can ask yourself to sort of workshop this and understand how does it make sense in my life? You can ask yourself, where are you overextending for people? And oftentimes if we feel like we're overextending, that generally means we're putting in more effort than them. So I wonder if this would be true for you, that you're overextending for people who are just not capable to meet you where you're at. Another question is, where are you expecting depth from someone who hasn't really met themselves there yet? I can immediately think of a family member, right, where this is the case and you're kind of holding out, waiting, giving them benefit of the down, and it sort of never happens. But if you realize that it's because they haven't even met themselves there yet, then you remove that expectation for them to meet you there. Right. Because it's unrealistic. If I haven't done that for myself, why would I do it for you? Right. So same rings true for other people and their relationships with us. And the most important question of all you can ask yourself is how deeply have you met yourself? I'm going to guess because you're listening to this show, you know, you're already kickstarted that journey. It's already something that's at the front of your mind already. But it's a good question to ask yourself because that may also create misalignment in different relationships. Maybe you meet people and you think, oh, they're way too much. They go way too deep, they open up way too much. This comes back to something I always like to talk about, which is that element of judgment. If I ever have a judgmental thought, maybe it's criticizing somebody for doing something, or in my head, having an internal dialogue about what's in someone's shopping cart or anything, like random things like judgment. Right. We can't. No one's perfect. We all have them. But those judgments, they're opportunities for us to learn something deeper about ourselves, to go deeper. Right. So it could be reflecting an area where we haven't met ourselves, where we haven't thought deeply, what we haven't tried to understand why or how we think a certain way. And that's what meeting yourself deeply is all about. It's about learning more about who you are. And I always think we have opportunities to do that. But asking yourself that question, like, how deeply have I met myself? Is also an, an interesting way to reverse engineer this whole concept. And I think in general, like, the more inward you go, the more naturally you attract people who like having those conversations or who are at that depth too. I've definitely had that experience in my own life. You know, you become more spiritual and then you have a spiritual friend or you start to like astrology and you randomly have that one friend who just always goes on about astrology. Like depending on how deep you go and what avenues you take, like, you end up attracting that energy for yourself too, which is really beautiful. So just to summarize, this isn't about judging others, it's about releasing unrealistic expectations. It's about honoring and protecting your energy. And it's actually about acknowledging the depth of work you've done and saying, I want to invest this level of effort I've put into myself, into others who have done that for themselves too. Because that's where the alignment happens. Especially in friendships. Actually, not just friendships. Every work in romantic, you know, your partner arguably is the most important relationship you choose. So it definitely has this beautiful spillover effect and it changes the way you see relationships. Relationships, instead of being frustrated or trying to force things, you just acknowledge that that person is only meeting me as deeply as they've met themselves. And I'm not going to try and be the person that's going to come in and change their life. Right. I'm just going to decide that that's not a relationship worth putting more effort into or at all. I hope you guys love this episode. And don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you don't miss any future episodes. If anyone's come to mind during the course of this conversation, maybe they're struggling with a difficult relationship at the moment. Whether it's in work or friendships or romantically. Maybe. Maybe this episode is going to give them a little mindset shift that's going to make the world of difference. So forward it onto them now because knowledge is great when we hear it, but it's even better when we share it. That's it from me, guys. I'll see you all next week for another episode. And until then, stay balanced.
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