The Balance Theory — “The Birth You Wanted vs. The Birth You Got”

Host: Erika De Pellegrin
Guest: Georgie Stevenson
Date: October 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid conversation, Erika De Pellegrin and returning guest Georgie Stevenson, both newly postpartum mothers, reflect on the difference between their envisioned birth stories and the surprising realities they experienced. With their daughters born just three days apart and under unexpected circumstances, they share personal challenges, emotional reframes, the stigma around C-sections, and the transition into motherhood. The episode offers heartfelt, practical wisdom for women navigating birth plan changes, postpartum healing, and the evolving sense of identity as a mother.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sharing Birth Stories & Unfolding Realities

• Georgie's story: She had placenta previa (placenta covering cervix), meaning a high certainty of needing a C-section. At 34 weeks, before her scheduled bed rest, she experienced a major bleed and went into spontaneous labor. She had to undergo an emergency C-section under general anesthetic, and her daughter Lacy was in NICU for 2.5-3 weeks.
  • “Honestly, even though the kind of worst-case scenario did happen, we’re both okay and safe, which… can go really, really bad. So very grateful that we’re both safe and sound.” — Georgie, [05:34]
• Erika's story: Her baby was breech and the likelihood of a C-section increased the further the pregnancy progressed. Ultimately, she had a planned, calm C-section.
  • “In my head, I was like, you can’t have a plan with birth, but my plan is to be as natural as possible, right? … Well, you really can’t have a plan because everything is so unpredictable.” — Erika, [07:20]

2. Processing Judgments & Grief Around Birth Choices

• Both hosts admit to holding unconscious judgments about C-sections, influenced by cultural narratives and personal family histories of natural births.
  • “I actually had a lot of judgements around C-sections… I really had to process in order for me to come to acceptance with the fact that it was happening.” — Erika, [07:54]
  • “I definitely realized I had a lot of stigma… the fact that it’s like, you know, unnatural, it’s medical, all those sorts of things.” — Georgie, [08:43]
• They discuss the grief of losing out on the planned natural birth and the complex emotional fallout, especially for Georgie, who didn’t get to hold her daughter for days.
  • “I had to really grieve, you know, the birth that I did want… while also understanding that the birth we had was still beautiful, because it’s our story.” — Georgie, [10:51]
  • "I definitely had that story of like, I'm being robbed of an experience I feel like I should have." — Erika, [12:01]

3. The Power of Reframing and Gratitude

• The women turned to gratitude and conscious reframing to find acceptance, recognizing medical intervention as lifesaving and focusing on outcomes rather than lost ideals.
  • “Thank God we have the medical system because, you know, back in the day I would have just died in childbirth, and Lacy probably would have died too.” — Georgie, [15:16]
  • “Coming back to that, I’m really grateful I’ve had time to mentally prepare for something I didn’t realize I had so much judgement around.” — Erika, [17:28]
• They both note that reframing their experiences was supported by their previous personal development work, but real-life challenges put those tools to the test.
  • “You get the chance to really test those skills in new scenarios. So this was one for me that really, really surprised me.” — Erika, [18:51]

4. Redefining Postpartum: Rest, Connection, and Permission to Pause

• Georgie describes how her experience after her first child (Ivy)—where she rushed back into work—left her disconnected, anxious, and depleted. The difficulty motivated a very intentional, slow postpartum after Lacy, which dramatically improved her motherhood experience.
  • “I have never felt so much happiness, like contentness, gratitude than I have… than this postpartum season.” — Georgie, [20:09]
  • “Sometimes in life you have to experience the duality of what you don’t want to understand what you do want.” — Georgie, [20:25]
  • “I struggled with anxiety and a lot of overwhelm and disconnect from self… I didn’t give myself time in the postpartum.” — Georgie, [21:18]
• Both discuss the societal pressures for mothers to “do it all” and argue that dedicating oneself to motherhood is more than enough, even when high achievement standards tug at them.
  • “…the quote ‘just being a mom’—and I say that in quotations—feels like it’s not enough. But… I always… was like, I’m going to prioritise being a mum but then there’ll be a time I get back to other parts of myself.” — Erika, [26:41]
  • “Give yourself permission to just go into it.” — Erika, [28:11]

5. Advice for Expecting & Postpartum Moms

• Take the time you have—whatever your circumstances allow—and be intentional, present, and gentle with yourself.
  • “Give yourself that space because you don’t know what’s going to come up. You don’t know how you’re going to feel.” — Georgie, [29:48]
  • “…even being present for five, ten minutes is enough. It’s just being intentional with the moments you do have rather than thinking about everything you don’t have.” — Erika, [30:20]
• Accept that all seasons are transient; the opportunity to work and pursue other professional or personal interests will return.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Grief and Storytelling:
  • “I had to really grieve, you know, the birth that I did want… while also understanding that the birth we had was still beautiful, because it’s our story.” — Georgie, [10:51]
• Reframe on Motherhood Identity:
  • “You carry the baby for nine to ten months, then you’re its mother its whole life. Birth is this blip in the middle… there’s so much time around birth that shouldn’t dictate… whether you are worthy enough as a woman.” — Erika (recalling her sister’s advice), [17:08]
• Realization in Postpartum:
  • “I feel like I have arrived… It’s like this peace and just general contentment… and I didn’t think that would be in a time where I’m not tapping into many of the things that I’ve been doing over the last few years.” — Erika, [28:49]

Key Timestamps

| Time | Segment Description | |----------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:05 | Erika introduces the episode’s shared theme and context | | 01:02 | Georgie recounts her pregnancy and emergency C-section birth | | 05:46 | Erika compares her planned C-section and shifting expectations | | 08:26 | Discussion of internalized judgments around C-sections and grief | | 14:24 | Reframing and gratitude: how they processed their experiences | | 19:09 | Personal development practices tested in motherhood | | 20:06 | Georgie on intentionally slow postpartum versus her first experience | | 26:31 | Erika on societal pressures and the reality of “just being a mom” | | 29:32 | Advice for new moms: permission to pause, being present & intentional | | 31:23 | Light-hearted wrap up and gratitude between Erika and Georgie |

Tone & Language

The conversation is raw, compassionate, and gently humorous, maintaining honesty about both struggles and triumphs. Both speakers are candid about their emotions and remain supportive, encouraging listeners to define their own journeys and find grace in the unexpected.

Summary Takeaway

This episode powerfully affirms that while birth and motherhood rarely go to plan, there is profound strength in flexibility, reframing, and intentional presence. Erika and Georgie model how vulnerability, self-kindness, and the willingness to process grief and joy alike can transform even the most disruptive experiences into personal growth and healing. Their stories and advice offer vital permission for mothers to honor their journeys, whatever form they take, and to embrace the fullness of both their emotions and evolving identities.