The Reason You Haven’t Changed Your Life Yet (And How To) | Shivani Pau

Summary

The Balance Theory – Episode Summary

Episode Title: The Reason You Haven’t Changed Your Life Yet (And How To)
Host: Erika De Pellegrin
Guest: Shivani Pau (top 1% podcast host, entrepreneur, former management consultant)
Date: April 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this inspiring episode, Erika De Pellegrin welcomes Shivani Pau to the show for an honest, detailed conversation about the realities of personal change, pursuing big goals, and creating a life and career on your own terms. The discussion traces Shivani’s journey from a traditional, risk-averse family to UK corporate life, and ultimately to launching a successful podcast (A Millennial Mind) and entrepreneurship. Together, Erika and Shivani unpack the fear of not being enough, the challenges and realities of going after unconventional dreams, and how shifting your environment and mindset is the only way to achieve transformative change.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting a Podcast from Scratch

[02:05 – 12:20]

• Origins: Shivani shares how her love of deep, meaningful conversations fueled her drive to start a podcast, encouraged after meeting her successful, strong-minded aunt.
  • “I've always liked to think differently, understand a new perspective. Ever since I was little, I've always liked to question things.” ([02:25] Shivani Pau)
• Influence: Seeing her aunt’s simple podcast recording (no fancy studio, just purpose) made Shivani realize she could start with minimal equipment.
• DIY Approach: Shivani’s first podcasts were completely self-produced:
  • One cheap mic, cameras balanced on books, raw audio.
  • Intense imposter syndrome and comparison to online giants led her to nearly never release her first episodes.
  • "You have an idea. You compare yourself to the best in the industry...and then you think it's rubbish. I'm not going to do it." ([00:00] Shivani Pau)
• Breakthrough: Despite doubts, she released the show—and it charted immediately.

2. Navigating Burnout, Gaps, and Growth

[10:49 – 13:56]

• Shivani describes the difficulties of balancing a full-time job, podcasting, and personal life – ultimately leading to burnout and the need for evolution.
• Success required consistent content, smart breaks, and constant reinvention.
• Both agree: Consistency beats perfection; early cringe is part of the process.

3. Quitting Corporate for “The Dream” – Twice

[15:38 – 23:14]

• Shivani took a sabbatical, believing this would finally cement her solopreneur dreams.
  • Her family saw the podcast as a hobby, not a career.
  • Multiple side projects diluted her energy: podcast, planner, coaching, and more.
  • “Because I was trying to do too much, I did nothing.” ([18:52] Shivani Pau)
• Failure & Shame: She didn't make enough money, returned to her job, and deeply struggled with feelings of failure and not being “good enough.”
• Second Leap: Only quit corporate for good once she had multiple small income streams—a 'proof of concept’—and accepted a lower, less stable initial income in exchange for scaling potential.

4. Environment & Support Systems

[23:14 – 25:19]

• Shivani emphasizes the impact of environment: her risk-averse family versus her risk-taking, entrepreneurial husband pushed her to take leaps.
• Living in London—paying rent, networking, going all-in on her dream—became a turning point in her growth.

Quote:
"My career just completely flew when I did that, when I changed my environment." ([23:14] Shivani Pau)

5. Timing vs. Internal Readiness

[25:20 – 34:17]

• Readiness isn't external; you “create your own readiness.”
  • “We always think that when I hit this milestone, this person will believe in me...It's not about that. It's about your energy.” ([00:53] Shivani Pau)
• Serendipity does play a role—her story about traveling to LA, meeting Stephen Bartlett, and getting an impromptu interview illustrates saying “yes” when opportunity meets preparation.
• Erika and Shivani agree: You must be internally prepared to act, and most people miss chances out of fear or lack of self-worth.

Memorable Moment:
When recounting the Stephen Bartlett story:
"I just knew that something was right. I had 6,000 followers on Instagram. We always think that when I hit this milestone, this person will believe in me...It's not about that. It's about your energy." ([30:28, 31:22] Shivani Pau)

6. Redefining Self-Worth and Enough-ness

[34:32 – 36:59]

• Erika asks how Shivani measures her self-worth today after years of feeling not enough.
• Shivani’s metric: Growth—across career, relationships, health, and personal development.
  • “Every year, I measure growth, and that is how I define success. If I have not grown, I do not think I'm successful.” ([36:05] Shivani Pau)

7. Changing Environment for Growth

[36:59 – 41:40]

• The decision to leave the UK is about seeking challenge, warmth, and new connections.
• Both discuss “tall poppy syndrome” in their home countries, where ambition and visible success is seen as unrelatable—or criticized.
• Changing one’s environment (city, country, community) can spark personal and professional reinvention.

Quote:
"What is the worst that could happen?...Whilst you have the guts to jump, just jump." ([41:35] Shivani Pau)

8. Recurrent Limiting Beliefs & Reframing

[46:48 – 47:01]

• Shivani shares her ongoing struggle with the “I’m not good enough” narrative—despite external successes.
  • “It's really embedded because I think that we define ourselves from such a young age...I called myself lazy, I called myself stupid, I call myself not intelligent enough.” ([47:01] Shivani Pau)
• Listeners are encouraged to reframe their inner critic, as growth and permission don’t come from credentials, but lived experience, continuous learning, and courage.

9. Parenting, Self-Talk, and Generational Change

[48:15 – 49:20]

• Erika notes that working on one’s own self-talk is the best way to raise resilient, confident children. You can’t shield kids from limiting beliefs—what matters is modeling growth and healthy self-dialogue.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On comparison and starting:
  "You have an idea. You compare yourself to the best in the industry...and then you think it's rubbish. I'm not going to do it."
  — Shivani Pau ([00:00])
• On creating readiness:
  "You have to create your own readiness...it's not about that. It's about your energy."
  — Shivani Pau ([00:53])
• On doing too much:
  "Because I was trying to do too much, I did nothing."
  — Shivani Pau ([18:52])
• On the importance of environment:
  "My career just completely flew when I did that, when I changed my environment."
  — Shivani Pau ([23:14])
• On growth over achievement:
  "Every year, I measure growth, and that is how I define success. If I have not grown, I do not think I'm successful."
  — Shivani Pau ([36:05])
• Why you should take risks:
  "What is the worst that could happen?...Whilst you have the guts to jump, just jump."
  — Shivani Pau ([41:35])

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Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Key Themes | |-------------|---------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:05–12:20 | Early Podcast Days | DIY podcasting, comparison, imposter syndrome, first success | | 15:38–23:14 | Quitting Corporate | Sabattical, failure, persistence, environmental change | | 25:20–34:17 | Timing/Readiness | Serendipity vs. self-generated readiness, asking boldly | | 34:32–36:59 | Self-Worth & Growth | Redefining enough-ness by progress, not status | | 36:59–41:40 | Environmental Shift | Moving abroad, breaking tall poppy syndrome, risk taking | | 46:48–49:20 | Limiting Beliefs | Overcoming “not good enough,” self-talk, parenting insight |

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is friendly, candid, and motivational—full of real stories that demystify the glamour of entrepreneurship and encourage listeners to take imperfect, messy action. It challenges the belief that you need outside validation, followers, or perfect conditions to pursue change, and instead champions internal readiness, growth, and the power of shifting your environment. The open discussion about imposter syndrome, family pressure, fear of failure, and comparison is especially resonant for ambitious people feeling “stuck” or waiting for the perfect time.

Key Takeaway:
You don’t need to wait for permission, the “right” moment, or to be the best in the industry to change your life. Growth happens in the discomfort. Just jump.

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For those who haven’t listened:
This episode is a permission slip to start before you’re ready, embrace your messy first attempts, and keep pursuing the life you want—no matter how many times you have to begin again.

Transcript

[Shivani Powell]

I'm comparing myself to the best in the industry, like so many people do. You have an idea. You compare yourself to the best in the industry. You expect yourself to be at this stage when you've just started and then you think it's rubbish. I'm not going to do it. The first day that the podcast went live, it went to number 10 in the charts. But whilst you have the guts to jump, just jump.

[Balance Theory Host]

Today's guest is a top 1% podcast host and founder.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She unveils the truth about building something

[Balance Theory Host]

for yourself and the reality of knowing

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

when to take the leap.

[Balance Theory Host]

Joining me on the podcast today is Shivani Powell.

[Shivani Powell]

I really thought that was going to be my clean break. I had to ask myself this question, have I made money? And I didn't make enough, so I had to go back to my job. I really did think, I'm never going to be able to quit that, am I? It really made me think that I'd failed.

[Balance Theory Host]

What changed the second time when you left, like, what made you actually ready?

[Shivani Powell]

I was honestly.

[Balance Theory Host]

How much of things happening is about timing versus internal readiness?

[Shivani Powell]

That's a really good question. You have to create your own readiness. We always think that when I hit this milestone, this person will believe in me. When I hit a million followers on Instagram, that's when this brand will recognize me. That's when this podcast guest will say yes to me. It's not about that. It's about your energy.

[Balance Theory Host]

How do you measure your worth today?

[Shivani Powell]

No, I've never really told anyone this before, but.

[Balance Theory Host]

All right, Balances. Welcome back to another episode of the Balance Theory. I'm so excited for today's guest. There's honestly so much we have in common and we haven't even started really getting into it. My guest today is Shivani Powell. Welcome to the show.

[Shivani Powell]

Thank you so much for having me. What a pleasure to be here.

[Balance Theory Host]

No, likewise, it's. It was quite serendipitous. I. I thought you had moved here, but you just happened to be here and we just happened to have a time slot available, so it's all worked out and meant to be. So I'm very, very excited to chat to you more. So I don't know about you, but as a podcaster, I actually, in my personal circle, right outside of people I've met and networked with, I don't know anybody else that has a podcast, it's actually really rare to come across people, people that at least have one or have had one for like five plus years.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

Let alone come from corporate gone into podcasting. And I just feel like the. The journey's been quite similar. So I'd love to sort of start with talking about when you started the podcast as a hobby alongside your nine to five. Can you sort of paint that process to me, how you got started and what it looked like? In the early days, I was always

[Shivani Powell]

somebody who liked to have really deep conversations with anybody I met. You know, my family would always say, oh, God, we've got to go for dinner. Why do we have to just bring a topic? Why can't we just talk? And I would say, I want to talk about something contentious. I want to have a debate. And I would always bring these topics to dinner. And it was mainly because I've always been somebody who's like to think differently, understand a new perspective. Ever since I was little, I've always liked to question things. And because of that, my parents like, you should be a lawyer. You argue too much. You're so defensive. Go and do that now. I also grew up in an environment where I didn't really see a lot of women questioning a lot of stuff. And it was only when my mom said to me, why don't you come for lunch with my cousin who's here from America? She's on her book tour, and I think you'd really like her now. At that time in my life, I was around 26, I think, and I was a very different person. I was quite bratty in the sense of, I don't want to come to lunch with your stupid cousin. You know, when you're younger, you just think, I don't want to, like, don't

[Balance Theory Host]

want to be my family.

[Shivani Powell]

I want to be with my family, not necessarily be with my family. I've always been someone who's been obsessed with my family. But I didn't want to, you know, spend my afternoon meeting my mom's random cousin, who I'd never known she was from America. But I was in London that day, and I called them because I was on a modeling shoot, and I finished early, and she was like, we're at the Savoy. Come have lunch. And if I'm honest, I just wanted to go to the Savoy. I'd never been there before. So I walk in and I go to this lunch, and it's just my mom, her cousin, her kid, her parents, my dad, and me. And I was honestly infatuated with this woman. She was strong, she was direct. She was really passionate about her work. She was someone who I think was very confident within herself and everything I was taught to not be. And so it was the first time I'd seen a woman hold her own. She paid for everybody's lunch at the Savoy. I'd never seen that before. I'd never seen a woman pay for everybody's lunch. And so I just started having these conversations with her. And I think she also saw something within me because then she said to me, why don't you come this evening to my book launch dinner? So again, I was very hesitant. Should I go? Should I not go? I've got to wait two hours in London. But she's a very direct person. She was like, come if you want, come if you don't. Like, I don't care. You want to come, come. She wasn't like an auntie that's like, please come. I'd love. You know, when I say my auntie, I think people think of it as like an Indian auntie who's like, holding your hand and being really sweet to you. I walk into this dinner, right? I walk into this. I can't remember was like a members club. And I was in, like, not in very nice clothes, but anyway, I walk in and she introduced me, introduces me to her book publisher. And the first thing she says, this is my niche. Funny, she's going to write a book one day. First thing she says to me. We then sit down and again, I'm surrounded now by 30 women, all from different cultures, different backgrounds, really strong, really confident, really direct being, asking all these different questions, you know, speaking with so much passion about their careers. And I remember in that moment thinking, I have never seen this before that summer. Call it coincidence, call it serendipity. I was going to New York and I was going after my travel, so I was traveling alone. I was quitting my job. No, I wasn't quitting my job. I was. I was taking voluntary redundancy and I was going to travel for a bit. New York was the last destination. I was going to go with my family. It was a holiday. I'd never been to New York before. It was the first time. So I said to her, can I shadow you for a day? And very luckily, she was available. So I go to her office on my holiday. I go to her office, I get there and she's like, come see my team. I was just so in awe of seeing a brown woman lead a team of other women, an amazing office in New York. And then she says to me, I'm going to record a podcast this afternoon. You want to come? And I was like, okay, cool. At the time, I was only watching podcasts like this. An amazing set, great production. So for me, I was so excited, I was thinking, oh my God, I got to go to this amazing set. We go into a meeting room with no windows and just a mic and she's just recording. And she's got someone next to her, kind of like helping her, a producer, but she's just recording into a mic. And as she was talking, I was so inspired by her words, but also ideas were coming to my head. And so I looked to her saying, this is a podcast and you're really successful. You just sold a New York Times bestseller and this is your podcast. I was genuinely very confused. And I realized in that simplicity that I should create my own. And so I went outside after the podcast, we finished and I sat in her office and I got like a sticky note because I didn't have a notepad or anything when I was on holiday. And I wrote down all these ideas.

[Balance Theory Host]

The brain dump, right?

[Shivani Powell]

I wish I'd kept that note. I don't have it. But I wrote down all of these ideas and then I went for dinner. We all went out for dinner that evening and I told my brother and I told my dad, I said, I'm going to start this podcast and it's really easy to do. All I need is a mic. I don't even need to do video, because she wasn't doing video, just audio. And I came back to the UK and I started looking for a job because I just taken voluntary redundancy. I found my job in October.

[Balance Theory Host]

Is this job as a lawyer?

[Shivani Powell]

No, I never actually became a lawyer. I studied law, but I just hated it so much and I just felt like I had to nitpick at everything. And I'm just not someone who's very great at like attention to detail and so. And I only was interested in criminal and family and I would just never be able to do that as a person. And so I was a management consultant. So I applied for this job, I got the job. And it was when I was walking to work every day because I would take the train and then I would do a 20 minute walk to work. And every day when I'd walk, I would think of new ideas and this idea kept coming to me and I kept thinking, I want to talk about topics I don't think other people are talking about. I was having these conversations with individuals about things around my culture, things we don't agree with, questions that we should be asking because as women we were told not to Ask just to do. And I started thinking about these ideas and it was just kind of forming in that way. And it was one day when I went for a run and I thought of a Millennial Mind. And I thought, right, I'm going to do it. So I borrowed my friend's camera, I took it to, I messaged every single person I knew. I even messaged an ex boyfriend and said, hey, can you introduce me to this person? And I found a really big guess for my first episode, which was Mirror Manic. And I always value her so much because she had a cafe at the time, she'd written multiple books, she was a really big creator. And I remember she had a blue tick. Not everyone had a blue tick then. You couldn't buy it. And I remember she said, you know, I really like your idea. I think, I think I'm going to do it with you. And not everybody had a podcast then either, so it's kind of easier. I went to a flat, I took my camera, balanced it on top of all of her books. I had a 50 pound mic in between us and I recorded the first episode. I did the same with another model because I wanted to talk about the hidden truth behind modeling. Because when I used to model, I used to feel really insecure. I used to feel like I was really ugly. I never had any self confidence. And I think the perception is that if you're a model, you have all of those things. So I found an article on this model who lived in London. Again, went to her flat, recorded this episode with her balance it on her tripod. The videos were so bad I never released them right. And it was just the naivety that I had that these things are so easy. You know, even my mom says to me now, I thought you just go to the studio and you press all the buttons and you manage everything. I'm like, mom, there's a three cam edit, then there's two different mics, then you have to sync all of those things together. You have to edit five different things. But I think at the time, you don't realize that when watching podcasts like these. So I was very naive in that process. So I essentially sat on these episodes for two months because I looked at them and thought, well, these are crap. I'm comparing myself to the best in the industry. Jay Shetty, Tom Baliu, Tony Robbins, all of these people who had incredible content out there. And I'm thinking, no one's going to watch any of this. So I sat on it like so many people do. You have an idea. You compare yourself to the best of the industry. You expect yourself to be at this stage when you've just started, and then you think it's rubbish. I'm not going to do. Was when I went on a hand with my friends, and it was actually at that time where just before COVID that everyone said, I thought, you're going to start a podcast. And it was actually this guy I was dating, and he was like, you always say you're going to do stuff and you never do it. Then we stopped dating and I was like, you know what stuff? Screw you, I'm going to do it. Yeah, stuff you sort of. I just said, I'm going to. I'm going to do it. And so I essentially just released the audio, and the first day that the podcast went live, it went to number 10 in the charts.

[Balance Theory Host]

That's crazy.

[Shivani Powell]

And I thought, this is a scam. You know, you get these emails and you think, oh, that's junk. Someone's just scamming me. But it was real. And because it did so well, I only had one episode, Only had the modeling episode.

[Balance Theory Host]

You got straight to it, no doubt after that.

[Shivani Powell]

So then I thought, okay, now I need to release. No research, record and release an episode every single week. Alongside my corporate job, I had zero editing experience. I had no idea how to run a podcast. I was doing everything myself, like the scheduling, the uploading, the thumbnails, the pictures on Instagram, the story links, all of that. And I remember after 10 weeks thinking, oh, my God, I'm so burnt out. So I took a break and I had lots of personal things going on at that time. And then I recorded season two, but this time I said, I want to now do it on Zoom. I want to do video. Then the third season, I use another platform, and I said, okay, now I want to do it on the startup season. And I just kept evolving until. Sorry, I've just like gone on about my journey until I eventually decided I wanted to take it seriously and give it one last shot. Because in that first season did really, really well. But as you know, when you take big gaps from your podcast, your listenership got drops. And that's what kept happening. Because I would do this season really quickly and then I would drop it. And every six months I would kind of release like a big season. But you have to be consistent because people forget about you. And then everyone else was doing a podcast. And so I gave myself one last shot and I said, I'm going to invest in a studio and bearing in mind, I was using all the money I had for my corporate job to invest in the studio. I'd also started another business, which is my performance planner, which I use again my corporate money for that. And I said, I'm going to give it a shot. And I tried. And here we are five years later.

[Balance Theory Host]

Thank you for sharing the story. Because people do not realize how much goes into actually getting it going in the beginning. And my story is very similar. Literally started it in my apartment. One microphone between like, what is with that? Like, why wouldn't we just buy two? I know, it's like everyone's like, how much does it cost to start? I'm like, one mic. No, buy two. If you're interviewing, it's so DIY doing it all yourself. Thank God reels weren't a thing because that was just like an added layer of complexity.

[Shivani Powell]

Yes.

[Balance Theory Host]

Then you go through the evolution of just audio into zoom into. I actually have it all on my YouTube so you can see from like the first time I recorded, I was like, I feel like I was so little. Like I was in like a blazer in. My cuts were horrible. And I'm just like, people get so scared of doing that first episode. But that is your ticket to entry so that you can be at the 50 episode. And you know, I had this moment when I started because for me this has always been a passion. Very, very similar story. I love having deep and meaningful conversations with people. I hate small talk. It makes me so tired. I'm always that person that's like, oh, family trauma, like tell me more or like limiting beliefs, your goals. Like I always just go there with people. So for me this was just such a natural hobby. When I started, I was looking at the Jay Shettys, the Tom Biley's, all these people and I was like, okay, they've been around for five plus years. All these people I'm aspiring to be, like, I need to do this for five years before I even think of dropping the ball. So I, I've actually, I'm very proud to say I've done one a week. Four, five years. I did take season breaks like one month in June, one month in Christmas until I realized that even, you know, makes an impact. So I do like short repeats during that time.

[Shivani Powell]

Nice.

[Balance Theory Host]

But it's such a long journey and I think people can be really put off by it. But you just iterate so much and I just think like you probably feel the same. You had to go through all of that to become like the interviewer. You are today.

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[Balance Theory Host]

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[Balance Theory Host]

you I remember looking and reading about your story a little bit. You had a period where you actually quit your job, but then you went back into work, right? Was that that sabbatical you're talking about or was it so talk to me about that because I think often we feel like it's this beautiful flow of yes, I'm going to quit my job and have freedom and have all the success. I had a very similar thing when we to Dubai said okay, 12 months we're going to be digital nomads and travel and learn to live in Dubai. And I was on Zoom at the time and I thought I'm just going to do the podcast and see where it goes. But I had like no strategy behind it. And then I had to go back into work because you know there's a financial need that everybody has. So it wasn't this very clean, like leave my job and pursue my dreams I know you sort of had a similar story. Talk to me about the reality of that. And then what changed when you actually left for good.

[Shivani Powell]

I really, really love the podcast. I really, from the day that I did it, was really passionate about it. And I come from a family that is very risk averse. And I was still living at home at this time. And when I was living at home, I would say my parents weren't necessary and I think they'll openly say this. They were not supportive of my podcast. They didn't really see it as a career. It was more of a hobby. And this is what I always say to people as well as I think living at home is really difficult for me because I had my corporate job. But then there was also an expectation for me to help around the house, as there should, by the way. I don't think that I should live in my house and just get all my meals cooked for me. Never do the dishwasher, never do the laundry, never clear up, never do the hoover. I think there should be that expectation. But it was also something that was hindering me because if you wake up in the morning and you want to go to the gym, then you go to the office and you come back and then you have to help make dinner and then help clear up and then help do the hoover, what time do you have left in the evening? So I would say my parents weren't necessarily very supportive of this decision. So I was struggling in doing the podcast and managing my job. I just started the Performance Planner and I was also doing coaching at the time because I was already coaching professionally my business. And at the time there was this platform. I always forget the name of it, but it was audio only. It was, it was an app that everybody was using to record. No, it was just, it was a. It was a social media app that was just audio. And you would get, I can't remember the name of it, but you would get all of these incredible people on there. So Gary V. Would be speaking in a room clubhouse. That was the app. So it's like you go into this room, you speak to all these amazing entrepreneurs and you spend all your time on it. And it was apparently going to be the new Instagram. So everyone was pumping so much time into this app. And I just felt at that time I didn't have enough time to do this properly. And I was dating and now I'm married to somebody who is the complete opposite of my parents and what I grew up with. He is an entrepreneur. He's always somebody who has taken big risks. You know, my husband quit his job in banking one day because he hated it and didn't have a plan, and then now has his own companies. And so he's not somebody who necessarily plans that much. He's just like, I know I can do better. And he has so much self belief and that is contagious. And he transferred that to me and he said, I really think that you should take some time out. And so because I was struggling with time, I thought, you know what, let me take a sabbatical. Which is essentially, I took three months out of my job. I used the holiday that I had left, and I was not paid for that time, but I was guaranteed my job when I came back.

[Balance Theory Host]

Right?

[Shivani Powell]

Lots of people do that to go traveling, lots of people do that to take a break. But I said I wanted to do it just so I could focus on my podcast. But also I did have some issues at home with health where my. My parents weren't very well. And so it was partly because of that and then partly because I wanted to focus on podcast now when I did that, I really thought that was going to be my clean break. And everybody I spoke to said, when you have a safety net, you will always rely on it. You will always know that you don't have to push yourself that hard because you have the safety net. And I was like, no, no, no, that's rubbish. I'm going to work really hard. I'm going to quit my job. And I remember so many people said to me, you're going to go back to your job. And I said, no, I will not. I was doing too many things at the same time. I was trying to kick off this planet business, which I had no experience and I'd never done this in my entire life, trying to start this podcast and monetize it, which again, I wasn't getting enough listenership to do that. And then at the same time, I was trying to create content for both of these pages and also keep up with the coaching. And so what happened in that moment is because I was trying to do too much. I did nothing. And so at the end of the three months, I had to ask myself this question. Have I made money and I didn't make enough? I made little bits here and there, but it just wasn't enough for me to sustain living off and also for me to kind of qualify this as a career. So I had to go back to my job, which was really, really sad and really, really hard because I really did think I'M never going to be able to quit that, am I?

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah. What did that do to your confidence?

[Shivani Powell]

It really made me think that I'd failed because I tried something and I told everyone I took a sabbatical. I told everyone I was going to quit my job, but then I didn't do it. And, you know, I feel at the time people were very judgmental in starting a podcast. People didn't know you could make money from it. People didn't think it was a career. I think there's still some people right now. You know, I went for lunch with someone the other day and they're like, how do you even make money? And I think there's still this confusion around it. And I understand that because it' traditional career path that people take.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

And so for me, it really felt like I had failed and once again, I wasn't good enough because that is a narrative I held for a very long time.

[Balance Theory Host]

And so what changed the second time when you left? Like, what made you actually ready the second time?

[Shivani Powell]

So the second time that I actually quit was when I had proof of concept. And I always tell people that for me, I am somebody who is naturally very risk averse. I don't take risks all the time. Even, you know, right now we're going through a massive change in our life. I. I've planned everything through. My husband is like, I'll deal with the problem when it comes, but I think very differently. So this the second time that I decided to quit the job was when I had seen am I making money in multiple different revenue streams. I wasn't making as much as I was in my corporate salary, but if I had more time, could I scale it?

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

And I had grown really quickly. I would say not really quickly, like overnight, but I had grown really quickly on social media because of a video. And all of my videos were then doing well. It wasn't just that, like one hit wonder. Yeah. I had grown consistently from around April till August. And I just knew that if I wanted to do this properly, I was going to have to put all my time into it. And I was. I'd used up all of my annual leave to record my podcast. I had zero annual leave left. I was like, I'd. Maybe I'd lost, I think 6 to 7 kgs from what I am now.

[Balance Theory Host]

Wow.

[Shivani Powell]

And I was so skinny because I was constantly on the go. I was waking up at 5am and I was sleeping at 11:12pm every single night. But I loved it. And I had so much energy and Now I always think, how can I get that energy back? How do I go back to that place? But I was so thin, and when I'm stressed, I actually lose a lot of weight. And so I was really unhealthy. My habits were really bad. I was having, like, four or five coffees a day. I was feeling really unwell, and I just thought, I really can't keep this going. So I had to make a decision. My parents were not happy with me at all, and I decided to actually move out of my family home six months into it, which was really difficult because I was then paying rent and I had all of these expenses, and I was living in a random flat with a random woman because I couldn't afford my own place. But I was only living there because I was thinking, if I'm in London, in central London, I can go to so many events, I can make so many connections, I can network so much. And I remember when I would go and see the flat, I was like, I'm not looking for a friend. I'm literally looking for a roommate. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to have dinner with you. I don't have friends. I don't want to be friends with you. I don't want to cook with you. I want zero relationship with you. I just want to be here to focus on my work. That's all I wanted, and that's what I did. And my career, I just completely flew when I did that, when I changed my environment.

[Balance Theory Host]

That's crazy. Do you think, like, a lot of this comes down? Because I'm very much. I was laughing internally when you're telling me about your husband, because mine is the same. He's actually in crypto. So, like, way other end of the spectrum. I'm very, like, organized. But, you know, I have this belief that they can be like that because we're so organized. Like, if we go on a holiday, they can be the ones that's like, I don't even know where this plane's going.

[Shivani Powell]

Because I'm not like that. No, no, I'm not organizing my work.

[Balance Theory Host]

No, no.

[Shivani Powell]

He take. He's so organized with, like, the holidays and the flights. I'm the opposite place. I'm organized, by the way, is in my work.

[Balance Theory Host]

That's interesting.

[Shivani Powell]

Everything else about me, I leave my stuff everywhere. I'm like, oh, whatever. If you want to go for dinner, I'm like, yeah, anyway, you want to book? I've never booked a reservation ever. I'm like, I've never planned anything. Yeah, I'm weird. So like I have, I have.

[Balance Theory Host]

Okay, maybe you have to give me some tips because I'm always like, oh, even at honeymoon I was like, you organize it. And then I was like, no, I'm doing it. Like I'm like, I actually said to him three days ago, I'm like, I would really love to be surprised. Like surprise party, surprise this. But yeah, I've got to think pull back.

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[Balance Theory Host]

What I was going to ask you was how much of you know, things happening is about timing versus internal readiness?

[Shivani Powell]

That's a really good question. I think that you have to create your own readiness that I really do believe that certain things at certain times really help. So for example, you know, I was really blessed with that opportunity of meeting my auntie at that time and then when she was in la, I was going to LA again for the first time since I was seven and she was recording a podcast with Stephen Bartlett.

[Balance Theory Host]

Tell us his story because I saw the LinkedIn post and this is unreal.

[Shivani Powell]

So this is where I think timing and serendipity plays a part. I was in my corporate job job at this Point, by the way. And I remember I was in the office on a Friday, and I get this Instagram message again. Like, when I say, my auntie, I think people think this is some kind of, like, nepotism stuff, where it's like we message every single day. She messages me being like, do you know who Stephen Bartlett is? And I was like, yes, of course I do. And weirdly, I didn't until January that year. So this was in March. I had no idea who he was. And my friends kept sending me this post because he was somebody that made like 250 million or however many million it was, was from his podcast. And they said, you like my friends, like, this is going to be you one day. So I'd started listening to him because I thought, who is this guy that's making millions from his podcast? She messages me. I remember exactly where I was in the office. And I remember thinking, oh, my God. And I said, yes, of course. And she said, should I go on his podcast? And I said, absolutely, yes, you should. Now, I never really told anyone this before, but their team had actually reached out to her several times before that trip. But this time was the first time she saw it because Reshma was very successful in her own right. So, you know, sometimes she doesn't see requests or things coming through. And she says, should I do it? And I said, yeah, absolutely you should. And I said, what date is it? It was the day I landed into la. And so I said, if I arrive the day before, because I didn't want to arrive on the day and be tired, I said, if I. If I. If I'm there, can I come with you? And she said, yeah, of course you can. And so I changed my flight to two days before. Now, again, I was living at home at this time. And I said to my parents, I'm changing my flight. And they said, well, who's going to look after Leo? Because they were in India. Is this my dog?

[Balance Theory Host]

Sorry, my child.

[Shivani Powell]

So their concern was, who's going to look after the dog? And I said, akshaywal, who is my brother, who's only one year younger than me, he won't look after him properly. And I remember in that moment thinking, you guys have got to figure it out. Like, this is not on me. Change your flight to India. And I remember them saying, well, what are you even going to get from this opportunity? And I said, I don't know, but I have something within my gut that tells me that this is meant to be. I mean, what are the chances? Stephen Bartlett was in LA for two weeks recording his podcast. Out of the 52 weeks in a year. He asked Rushma. Rushman messages me, by the way, I think this was our third message during an entire lifetime. The one before that being when we were in New York. She never messages me. So for her to message me that and ask me about him, it was just too weird. And then I haven't been to LA since I was 7 years old. We were just going for a holiday and I arrive on the same day as the podcast. I just knew that something was right. So anyway, I bought his book, I took a performance planner with me and I remember we get to the. I go to meet her, we get to the studio or this house that he's recording in. I walk in and I said, so nice to meet you, whatever. And he says, I see that you've got my book, let me sign it for you. So he signs it and then I said, by the way, here's a little gift for you. And I gave him the performance planner. They then sit down to record. It's 40 degrees in LA that day, it is so hot, and they couldn't have their AC on because of the sound. They record for two hours, I think just over. They finish recording and then Rushma says. And I told her I was going to ask him to be on the podcast. And I said, I'm just going to take my little vlogging camera and even if I can get 10 minutes with him, I get 10 minutes with him. But I remember saying to Nick the day before, imagine if he says to me, you can use my set. Like, I really thought that, because I genuinely thought, if he is somebody who wants to come on the podcast, why wouldn't he just let me use his set in that moment? But it was just like a little thought I had. I didn't actually prepare for the interview that much, but what I knew I wanted to do was ask him questions that I didn't think anyone else would ask him, wanted to challenge him on the things I'd written in his book rather than just say, tell me about your journey. La, la, la, la. They finished the episode and I look at Rashma and she says, go and ask him. And he goes, yes, I'll be on your podcast. Yes, I'll invest in your business, whatever it is that you want. And sorry, I forgot to mention that before this, we were conversing a lot and I really felt like we got along. And when he wrote in the book, he said, you're capable of doing amazing Things or something like that. I can't remember. It was a very positive message. So he said that to me, and I said, look, Stephen, I know you're tired, and I know it's boiling, but can we just record five minutes for my podcast? And he said, yeah, sure. So I went over to my bag, the same camera I bought with me here, little, tiny vlogging camera. And I said, where shall we put it? And he looks at his producer and he goes, should we just record on here? Because the set was huge. There's no. If I. If I brought this camera here, it wouldn't cover both of us. Because. Let's just record. We sat down. I. We move sides. Because he has a host chair and a guest chair. I've recorded for half an hour, and honestly, we could have recorded for longer, but Rashma had to go to a lunch, and she was, like, more concerned with going to her lunch. I was like, yeah, okay, whatever. You've done your podcast. I need to go to this lunch, this dinner.

[Balance Theory Host]

Sorry.

[Shivani Powell]

And it was honestly such a big moment of my life because I had 6,000 followers on Instagram. And we always think that when I hit this milestone, this person will believe in me. When I hit a million followers on Instagram, that's when this brand will recognize me. Me. When I hit this many subscribers on YouTube, that's when this podcast guest will say yes to me. It's not about that. It's about your energy and also in understanding the value of interactions you have with people. If I'd walked in that moment and just said, can you come on my podcast? It'd be like, hold on, wait, what the hell? But I wanted to have a relationship with him first. I wanted to talk to him about, you know, his business and how he had started it. And also not necessarily jump the gun. I think at the moment, we've created a culture where it's like, you must ask immediately. You'll never get this opportunity again. And I actually disagree with that. I think there are certain relationships that you need to build first before you ask someone for something.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

It's so easy to ask people for stuff without giving.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

If I hadn't followed Stephen's podcast, if I wasn't commenting on his post, if I wasn't liking his stuff, maybe he would seen that and would have thought, oh, you don't even listen to my podcast or watch it, but you just want to interview me. Because I'm one of the biggest podcasters, because I knew so much information about him, because I genuinely listened to his podcast because I was genuinely supporting him. That came across in the conversation, and I guess that's flattering for him. And if you're helping somebody, I really do think that that inclines them to help you. And I'm not saying every interaction is transactional, but I really do think now we see so many people online saying, well, I never get these opportunities. I never win any of these giveaways. Are you supporting that creator's content? People ask me all the time, can you share this? Have you ever shared anything of mine? Have you ever even liked a comment, like to post, liked a podcast? But you want me to share your cause because it's important for you, but you've never supported me to getting into where I am, but you want to use the credentials I have.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

And it's so easy to take from other people and just never give.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah. That's such a crazy story. And there's just a lot of power in asking. Right. In asking for things. But if we kind of just circle back for a minute. I had a thought when you were talking. You know, my question of, is it timing versus internal readiness? And I think there could be two versions of you in parallel universes that were both sitting there in that interview room.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

Both could have asked. One did, one didn't, you know, So I think we're often given a lot of opportunities, but it's whether internally. Like, there's a timing, Right. Yeah. It's come your way. But then are you internally ready to. To explore it?

[Shivani Powell]

Ask yes.

[Balance Theory Host]

Not be afraid of rejection and failure. Like, I'm sure you've gotten so many no's for people, and that's not so many times because of you. But, like, it's just. It's a name, a numbers game when it comes to guests and sponsors and things like that. And so there's such a power in just asking and also taking on opportunities. Like, I'm sure you were nervous when you asked.

[Shivani Powell]

I was nervous, but I also. I really understood that in that moment, I was so lucky to even be there and witness an interview with him. So I just thought, if he says no, it's all right. You know, there's so many people I've said yes to me to come on the podcast, and then they never reply. And so I thought, if he actually says no, it's okay, and if he says yes, we'll do it in London, then it's fine. We probably won't happen. But when he said yes, I was. If you look at the start of that Interview. I am nervous and I remember I had the questions on my phone but my phone had a lock screen. So I kept trying to like unlock it but also keep asking him but also be on my phone. And I'd never been in a seven camera setup in my life. I'd never had that many cameras on me. We only ended up using three. But you know, I'd never been in that kind of studio. So I was also kind of overwhelmed of being on this almost stage. It wasn't a stage native recording area and I only just started recording in studios at that. I get that.

[Balance Theory Host]

So you know you're someone who's come from corporate. Yeah. You quite. I'd say, can I say you're type A when it comes to work.

[Shivani Powell]

I am type A when it comes to work.

[Balance Theory Host]

Okay.

[Shivani Powell]

Type B when everything else. Always use my phone, never on battery, leave my stuff everywhere. 100.

[Balance Theory Host]

Done. So given those things, how do you measure your worth today? Given you know I am not enough is a is a phrase you said you grew up with. I did too. And I think when you overcome that,

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

you change the way you measure your value.

[Balance Theory Host]

So how do you now measure your enoughness worth?

[Shivani Powell]

I have to grow every single year and I make sure I do in every area of my life. In my career, in my relationships, in my friendships, in the relationships I have with my families and external people, in my health, in the hobbies that I do, in my personal development. So you know, last year when I reflected, I made sure. Did I grow in my career? Was I interviewing people better? Was I making more money? Was I able to take more opportunities? Was I able to do things that I never imagined I would do? Was I able to work with the brands that I once dreamt of? Yes, I was. In my personal life, was I able to hold deeper relationships? Was I able to overcome those difficult moments in my life? I got married last year. Year. I have a great relationship with my in laws. You know, I have a great relationship with my family and my cousins. And that hasn't come really easily at first. All the time you have to work on these things. Same with friendships. I've created amazing new friends and I feel like I'm really lucky that I can create that. You know, when I meet people and I then friends with them forever, you know, I have lots of new friends. People like I don't have any new friends. And I'm like I feel that when you are somebody who you know, in our industry especially it can feel really intimidating and overwhelming. So I do feel really Lucky and blessed for that. And I always count that as a blessing and also as a chapter of growth. Because you're meeting people who are aligned to you.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

In every part of my life, whether it comes, you know, even like, playing paddle here, you know, for me, am I growing in that? Am I doing things that I'm nervous and scared about? And so for me, every year, I measure growth, and that is how I define success. If I have not grown, I am not. I do not think I'm successful.

[Balance Theory Host]

And so when you're setting goals, do you set the. Like, do you use gray? Like, do you frontload it with this goal is going to equal this growth? So you almost anticipate, or you set the goal knowing it will take you somewhere?

[Shivani Powell]

I set the goal knowing it will take me somewhere. You know, if I set a goal to read 50 books in a year, I know that's going to give me better content, and I know that that better content is going to explode my growth on social media.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

Or give me a greater, richer podcast. So I know that the things that I will do will lead to growth. But I don't necessarily say I want to get a million followers on Instagram. I never wrote that. Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

Okay. In terms of, like, I feel like leaving your bubble and changing your environment is sort of sounds like a running theme in your life, like, as of present and. And the past. Why is that so important for achieving the next level of goals? Maybe you can talk to your recent decision.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

To leave.

[Shivani Powell]

We recently decided to leave the uk and this is for a multitude of reasons. I think people think that I just want to say, like, I love the uk. I love London, our life there. I really do feel that both me and my husband have always said we want to live somewhere else, though. I've always been so jealous of people who say, I grew up, you know, living in India, and then I moved to Dubai, and then I lived in Hong Kong for a bit. And then, you know, I lived in Singapore for a bit.

[Balance Theory Host]

International kiddies.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah. I'm just always like, oh, I'm so jealous of you. I've only ever lived in the uk. I mean, the maximum I went to university in Warwick was in Coventry, and then I went to live in Nottingham. But I just know these names are

[Balance Theory Host]

on the Monopoly board.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

I've never been there.

[Shivani Powell]

And I just feel that I've always wanted this change. And then I also do feel the space is small in the UK in the sense that I do feel a lot of the podcasts are having the same conversations. I do feel a lot of guests are going on the same podcast. And I also have noticed in my podcast, I'm getting a lot of us people coming over and I'm interviewing them. And I really love interviewing people in different countries. So I've done a season in Mumbai, which I really loved. I've recorded a season in New York. And since I've been having more of these conversations, I've just been drawn to kind of going somewhere else. I've even recorded in this studio. But I went on someone else's podcast here. And so that's one factor in terms of growth for our career. Because I do feel, especially in the uk, and I'm going to say this, people won't like this, but there is tall poppy syndrome.

[Balance Theory Host]

Australia is the same.

[Shivani Powell]

People want to see you grow, and when you do grow, people say you're unrelatable. And I really do think that we have this fear of making money. We have this fear of growing and doing things that we were never meant to do. You know, I didn't grow up poor, but I didn't grow up rich. I went to a grammar school. You know, I was never somebody who I. I never. We never didn't have food on the table. We still went on one holiday year, but I was never somebody who flew business class in my entire life. So I wasn't like rich, where people are like, oh, my God, you have everything in life. We were very comfortable and it was fine. But I want more for myself, and I think that that is looked down upon. You know, even when I'm saying that people are going to say, oh, cry me a river. I'm not saying that I had an. A privileged childhood. I'm not saying that I'm not privileged, I am privileged. But I want more for myself and I want to have more for my children. And I don't think that that's a bad thing. But I do feel that, you know, a lot of people that I speak to are sometimes nervous to share things like that because they're criticized for it. And I'm not the only one that I think experiences tall poppy syndrome. So I think that's one element of it. The other is I also just want to live in a different environment where it's warm. I am always cold. And so that was another thing. And that was actually a big driver for us because we love the summer in London. And I feel that I'm more social. I go out a lot more, I network way more. But in the winter, I feel really really low. And I just feel, why am I living in a cold country when I don't need to? You know, we have the flexibility, both me and my husband, of owning our own businesses and living abroad. Why don't we? And so we just think it's a time for change. And you know, every single time I've made a decision that I've been uncomfortable with or that I'm nervous to, I have always, always thought about everything that I'm going to lose. You know, when I was going to leave my corporate job, I'm not going to have a stable salary, I'm not going to be able to have an office that I will work from. I'm not going to have a routine. Why do we focus on all the things that we're going to lose and never focus on the things that we're going to gain? And that's because they're not 100 visible to us right now. I could choose to focus on, I'm going to leave my family, I'm going to leave my home, I'm going to leave my environment, I'm going to leave all my friends, I'm going to leave all the relationships and the brand partnerships that I spent years building up up to leave everything behind and start again. Or I could focus on the fact that I could move abroad, I could be happy because I'm outside a lot more. I can make new friends, I could create new relationships, I could rebrand my whole self. You never know what life is going to bring me. And so I really do think changing our environment is such an important thing. Especially when you have the urge to do it in two years time. I might not have the urge, I might not want to. If I have children, children and then they're close to their grandparents. I might say I don't want to leave now. But whilst I don't, and it's just me, my husband and we have this passion, we have this hunger, we have this drive. I just think we should take the risk. And what is the worst that could happen? I think so many of us think about the worst case scenario and think that we will never be able to return back to our old life. It's always there.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

You can always choose it. But whilst you have the guts to jump, just jump.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah.

[Shivani Powell]

Because you might never.

[Balance Theory Host]

Four years ago when. Sorry, longer than that. I've always wanted to live overseas very similar to you and I thought I work as a lawyer, like it's, it's quite a global job. As long as you're in An English speaking country, you can move to other common law jurisdictions. My husband was a chiropractor when we were in Australia. And so he had like bricks and mortar store. So I was kind of like, well, we've set these up now we have a full team running. We're probably not going to. Yeah, but he was into crypto on the side. He comes home one day, it was September, he said to me, do you want to move to Dubai? I had never been here, didn't know anything about it. I literally knew one person that lived here and actually it was my therapist, which was really good to have in the town. Send me her number and I will. She's amazing. And he was like, do you want to move to Dubai? And I was like, okay. Three months later, I packed everything up, left, and I had the same thought process. I thought, you know what? We have an amazing life. We're so blessed. We want more for ourselves. We can go try it. If we don't like it, can literally get on a flight and come back. And how lucky are we to know that we can come back to a country? You know, I think of the generation before me. My grandparents who left Italy was a war torn country. They literally left, you know, the classic story, 50 bucks in their pocket, five kids on a boat. They went for 30 days all the way to Australia. You know, he. My husband's grandfather stopped in Melbourne, which is the southern part of Australia. He said, it's too cold. Let's go up one more. Like you don't even know these places. You just get off and don't even speak English. English. The times are just so different. Like, people can have a look online at what it's like to live in Dubai. They can listen to podcasts. There's. It's such a. It's such a mitigated move in today's day and age. I know it's still a big step to change your environment, but I just think if you have that, that urge within you, just go with it and, and to sort of reflect, you know, we said, oh, we'll probably go for two years rolled into three rolled into maybe when we have kids. And now it's like, when are we buying property here? You know, it's just when you think about your environment. And I really resonate with the tall puppy syndrome thing in Australia. It's like almost I actually find myself still not really sharing too much about what I'm working on because I feel bad. There's like a guilt of like, I know people are maybe Doing it tough. And it's not to say I'm flying here and I can't relate to anyone back at home. It's more I feel the judgment. I feel like there's going to be judgment. So I'm very careful with, you know, who I share my goals and things with. But in Dubai, and I think people have a very misguided view of Dubai. But what I'll tell you, in my experience, it's a city that's growing. It's a city that is very innovative. They are trying to be the best at everything. When you do that, you want the best of everything in the city, too. And so the way you run your city is not what can I take from people, it's what can I give? So these people stay here. Here, right. You know, and when you even look at a simple factor like tax is obviously a big one. They're trying to make this place livable. At the end of the day, they need the expat community for it to be running because it's 85, 90 of the city. But when you have a governing body or government or royal family that is trying to make it as desirable and attractive as possible, it makes it a really good place to live. And it's a very different mentality to what says in UK and Australia. And so I just think if you're at that moment in your life and this is not a Dubai sales pitch, I'm not getting paid to say this, but truthfully, for my career, and I thought I'd be a lawyer stuck in a desk, and that was as far as that career would take me. So I thought, right, this has got a finite expiry date. When I moved here, I met so many entrepreneurs and people in business and in tech who actually just wanted to work with people who were commercially minded. I thought, I don't need to work in an office. I can do this. As a consultant, I would never have gotten to that conclusion in Australia. I very much doubt that. Nobody I know is doing anything like that.

[Shivani Powell]

So true.

[Balance Theory Host]

So I just think, like, if you have that urge and, like, I had that same feeling when I started the podcast. And I'm sure I call them, like, nudges. Like, when you have those nudges, you just gotta go with it because those are the things you'll regret, you know, and they do feel scary, and they will feel scary, but, like, you just take one step, it feels better.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

The next step, it feels even better.

[Balance Theory Host]

And you just have so much fun. And you can. Fortunately, I think most Things can be not reversed. But you can just go back, you can just stop doing a podcast. You can just, you know, and if anything, you've just met some people along the way.

[Shivani Powell]

Exactly, exactly.

[Balance Theory Host]

That's a really great place to.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

To be.

[Balance Theory Host]

And just moving overseas.

[Shivani Powell]

Yes.

[Balance Theory Host]

And learning like, oh, there's actually such a different way to live life, like,

[Shivani Powell]

just gives you so much amazing.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah, I've seen you posting and last

[Shivani Powell]

night, you know, we went for dinner really early. We got back, we had a few calls at 9pm, we went for a swim. 9pm what would I be doing in the UK at 9pm? Watching Netflix, scrolling on my phone, feeling crap about my life.

[Balance Theory Host]

Did you go to the beach or you're like, pool?

[Shivani Powell]

No, Paul, it's heated. I can't go to the beach, it's freezing right now. Are you kidding me?

[Balance Theory Host]

Well, aren't you from the uk? Aren't you used to it? No, no, no, no.

[Shivani Powell]

This is the thing. People are like, I'm freezing here. Look, I'm wearing this whole tracksuit here. I'm always cold. And people like, but you're from the uk. You can't complain how cold it is. I was like, this is the reason I'm moving, okay? Because I just can't hack it. I don't know what it is with my blood. I know don't what it is.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah, well, this is definitely a good place for winter.

[Shivani Powell]

This is a beautiful summer. I'm sure I'll be fine.

[Balance Theory Host]

Just travel. Is there a pattern you notice that keeps resurfacing that you're still trying to work through?

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah, I'm not good enough.

[Balance Theory Host]

It's such an consistent, annoying thought, isn't it?

[Shivani Powell]

It's really embedded because I think that we define ourselves from such a young age. And this is actually something that I'm learning in this hypnotherapy course that I'm doing by Marissa Pierre. But it's something that I really understood that from a very young age. I called myself lazy, I called myself stupid. I call myself not intelligent enough. And I really find that within the work that I do now, I over compensate for so much of that stuff. But also I feel very vulnerable in certain circumstances because I think I haven't got a PhD, I haven't done a degree in psychology, so. So what makes me qualified to say this stuff? But it's really interesting because I did a goal setting workshop on Sunday and one of the girls said, shawnee, one of the reasons I follow you is because you don't have any of that stuff and you're learning this stuff. So we know that it's coming from your own mindset. And if you can do it, I can do it. Because she said you don't have a PhD. If I look at someone who's got a PhD and is telling me how to work through things, I think, well, you've had that wealth and that breadth of experience and so you have the tools and the capabilities to achieve that. Whilst for you, what I really love about that is you're not telling me that you have any of those things. You're just someone who's learning on the go. And so sometimes it takes a while for me to reframe, but it's definitely a thought that creeps up and I have to learn how to reframe that within my own mind.

[Balance Theory Host]

Yeah, I can definitely relate to that. It's a very deep, embedded thought. And you know, when you, I'm sure you've, you've done work on unpacking it and understanding where it came from. It could just be innocent comments from your parents or school or anything like that. But then like moving into becoming a par does make you think it's such a mirror to yourself. Like the way you speak to yourself and you think about like I feel like I was a bit not paranoid, but it was something I was really thinking about. Like how do I not create limiting beliefs in my child and like make her not perfect. But yeah, I've had, I don't know if you know Dr. Saliha Afridi. She's an amazing therapist in the region. She, you should definitely look at her stuff. She talks a lot about parenting. She's one of mum of four. She's incredible. Definitely interview her if you're doing podcasts out here. But she taught me a lot about how you can't bubble wrap your kids. They're going to go through life, they're going to have their own beliefs. But she gave me so many tools to like basically work on yourself is the best thing you can do to be a good parent because your children will literally just mirror you.

[Shivani Powell]

Yes.

[Balance Theory Host]

Your self talk the way you react and respond. So when you were just saying, you know, like when you're in scenarios and you feel a bit vulnerable or uncomfortable, I find with me I can get really defensive like very quickly if like I'm being criticized on something, it's like I can't handle the criticism. But like learning how to process that and navigate that will be the best thing for my daughter. Not necessarily that I have to tell her or help her do anything on her own. It's like you're just a mirror. So it always comes down to, like, working on your internal dialogue, whether it's, you know, getting the opportunities like we spoke about before, or whether it's to be a parent or to shift your environment so you can achieve what you want. Want. That's what I love about getting to know people and really understanding the practicality of, like, how they've done it for themselves.

[Shivani Powell]

Yeah.

[Balance Theory Host]

But Shivani's been so nice connecting with you. I wish you all the best in your exploration of where your next home is. I think this will be a place you'll probably come back to, whether it's home or to visit. So I'm really grateful we've connected and congratulations on everything you've created for yourself. It's very inspiring.

[Shivani Powell]

Thank you. It was a pleasure to be here today. Thank you, me for having, having me.

[Balance Theory Host]

Thank you. We have more conversations going deeper into topics just like this one coming up on the show very, very soon. If this episode resonated with you or made you reflect on something deeply in your own life, make sure that you're subscribed so you don't miss out on what's coming next. And tell me in the comments below what part of this conversation so far deserves more space. What should we dive deeper into next? I read all of your comments, so please feel free to share anything that comes to mind.