← The Balance Theory
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- [00:00]
A
Harvard did an eight year study and they noted what are the three main drivers of happiness for people? Status, money, family, married, divorce with kids, no kids was not a main driver of happiness. It boils down to three things.
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Today's guest is a serial entrepreneur, founder, shark on Shark Tank and author. She's on a mission to inspire women with the power to say yes. Joining us on the podcast today is Christine Asawad.
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A
We have the tendency to say yes to others very often, but we rarely say yes to ourselves. Based on their research, there are hundreds or thousands of different iterations of your life. You can have hundreds or thousands of different lives depending on what you say yes to. Once you know what you want, the yes become easier and the no become easier.
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B
Talk to me about some key things. We should understand if this is something we're struggling with.
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A
What I do is a couple of things. We are moms, we are daughters, sisters, partners. So many different things. And we want to give and we want to be able to be there for everyone. But the most important thing is to be there for yourself.
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B
Saying no brings up guilt that is very difficult to shake sometimes and often gets in the way of us saying yes to ourselves. So talk to me about guilt.
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A
Two things. First, we need to understand that I've worked with more than 3,000 women and if there's one thing that I've seen in all of them, including myself, is.
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B
All right. Balancers. Welcome back to another episode of the Balance Theory. I know for a fact that today's guest, today's conversation is going to resonate with so many of you, where you're at right now, what you want to achieve, and really practical ways to go about that. So I'm very, very excited to have Christine Aswad on the podcast today. Christine, welcome.
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A
Thank you. Very happy to be here.
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B
The topics and themes that you write about, speak about, do content about are extremely relatable, especially to the individual person listening to this in 2026, looking at trying to create the life they want. I'm very excited to tap into your story, your journey, and how your amazing book the Power to say yes has come to be where I want to start today's conversation. The title, the Power to say yes. Many women often feel burnt out because they do say yes to a lot of things. So I think a really important place to start is what kind of yes are you actually talking about?
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A
Absolutely. And it's so important because I'm talking about yes to your own happy, meaningful life. Because we have the tendency to say yes to others very Often. But we rarely say yes to ourselves. We rarely take the time to take a step back and decide what is it that we want to have from our life. So the power to say yes is your guide. To be able to decide what you want your happy, meaningful life to be and then execute on your wants. You know how. With lots of tools and techniques and stories on how to make it happen.
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B
So I guess if you take me back to the inspiration behind the book, was there a time in your life where you felt like you were saying yes to everyone but yourself?
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A
Absolutely. And I'm sure anyone listening to us, any woman especially, have said yes way too often to others and forget about herself. Because we have so many different roles. We are moms, we are daughters, sisters, partners, colleagues. So many different things. And we want to give and we want to be able to be there for everyone. But the most important thing is to be there for yourself. Because when you start by saying yes to yourself, this is not being selfish. On the contrary, it's making sure you have the right foundation so that when you say yes to others, you say yes from a place of love and not from a place of guilt.
- [03:58]
B
Yeah. So walk me through a time where you felt maybe burnt out, maybe completely selfless. Right. If we're going to. To that extreme, where you were completely saying yes, like, walk me through what? That. That moment where you realize, I can't. I can't keep doing this, like something needs to change. How were you feeling at that time?
- [04:17]
A
Actually, every time. You know, it's very interesting. We started our conversation before the podcast on what brought me to Dubai. And what brought me to Dubai was the explosion in Beirut, which was a very difficult time for me. But when you look back, these difficult times when. Where you feel that either you're completely exhausted or overwhelmed or you said yes to everybody but yourself, these are the ones that push you to grow and to become the best version of yourself. And for me, it was this moment that triggered to re question everything I was doing in my life and to decide what I want to do for the next 50 years of my life. I just turned a few days ago 52. So I still have 48 years to go. Because I want to live till a hundred. Yes. And I wanted something that was really meaningful. And this is how I came up with empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs as being my mission for the next 50 years. So sometimes the difficult moments are the moments that push us to get to where we need to be.
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B
So run me through the foundation. We need to be Able to give that wholehearted yes. Because often, and one thing I'm sure you can relate to as well, I think if you're the type of person that is very generous, that you actually love giving to other people, it's important to understand, like, what's the fine line between genuinely saying yes and wanting to give, but then also saying yes to yourself versus burning out and overextending yourself again and again, again to your own detriment. So what does that foundation look like that we need to build for ourselves to understand? Where is that coming from?
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A
Absolutely. I've worked with more than 3,000 women so far in workshops or one to ones or different, different ways. And I've seen this over again. Like we think of everybody else and we rarely take the time to think about ourselves. So the first step, and this is I'm taking you on this journey. In the book, the first step is to take a step back and decide what is it that I want from my life. We rarely actually think about what do we want from our life. Like we directly go to university, start working, get married, have a family, and rarely take the time to decide, okay, what me, Christine, what I want from my life. We have quite a few exercises that explain how we can do that. There's the three Lives of Stanford, the Wheel of Life exercise that I do every six months. Plenty of little tools that you can be using to define what is my happy, meaningful life on my own terms. Then look at different setting boundaries, saying, no time management and energy management to be able to do that. Because the biggest difference between men and women, even though when I started, for me there was no difference between men and women. And if someone would call me a female entrepreneur, I would be very upset. But there are differences not by how capable or smart or driven we are, but because our personal life has such a huge impact on our career. And you just got a baby, so now you're rethinking a lot of the things because there are some things that you cannot do when you're pregnant, you cannot do when you have a six month old at home. And sometimes this creates frustration because we think that this is the path and this is what success looks like. But for women especially, success can come in so many different ways. We can go all in, we can pose, we can go part time, start our own business. There are so many different things because we want to have the right harmony between our personal life and our business life. And I'm sharing in the book the story of five women that have completely different journeys but all are super successful.
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B
I love that because often it's. It's not this one ideal of success. It can look like so many different things. I've even experienced this in my own life in the past few years. I am a qualified lawyer, and the way I've practiced that profession has dramatically changed from sitting in a corporate job to consulting, you know, to fit my life and explore it in many different ways that actually align with my personality. And I really do agree with you that, you know, I've had someone else on the podcast before, and we spoke about how it should never be this question of, oh, we need to have a woman on the board. Let's get. Let's vote in a woman. Or, you know, it needs to be the most qualified person. Right. But if we look fundamentally at what does make us different, which I think are really beautiful differences, I am noticing this. Or I have appreciated this more in the last six months, having become mom and dad with my husband. And, you know, there are things that my baby needs that only I can give her because of our biology, because of the role of mom versus dad and vice versa. He's the fun. He's the one that plays and throws her around. Like, I can't do that. That freaks me out. But it's nice to see, you know, we have our differences and they're important. And I like how you've beautifully said, like, it spills in our personal life, like, really impacts our work, and it's something we need to be aware of because it does create these layers of, we're wearing so many hats.
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A
But here I just want to add that this is our superpower.
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B
Yes.
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A
Like, this is the fact that we have a choice. Like, some women work, some women don't work. Some women decide to go faster when they have kids, slow down when they have kids. Like, we have the choice. Like, most men are just going all in into their career. And the only reason I feel that it's important to have women on board or women and discussions to redefine what success or what a career path should look like. Because for a lot of companies, the career was built for a male's journey because they started working before women started working. So now we're redefining what success, what career, taking into account the impact of personal life and the reason why we have these conversations today, because men are part of the conversation, and they want to support and they want a happy, meaningful life on their own terms as well. Like, I'm sure your husband today wants to be much more involved in his kid's life than it was two generations ago.
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B
Definitely. Like he, he works from home and he's very, very hands on. I mean, I wouldn't be here being able to record with you because I'm breastfeeding at the moment if he wasn't at home with her. So, you know, that's definitely true.
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A
And this is why doing this, the exercises in the book, especially the wheel of life with your spouse makes a big difference because you're defining your happy, meaningful life. He's looking at his happy, meaningful life. And how can you both do it together? Because sometimes you need to tweak a little so that it's your both of you happy, meaningful life together.
- [11:17]
B
Can you walk us through this wheel of life exercise? What does it look like and how do we actually go through it?
- [11:22]
A
It's my favorite exercise out of the whole book. I've been doing this for five years with my daughters, with my teams, with the empowering tribe, with ladies I mentor. With everybod, you look at 10 areas of your life because sometimes when you think life, we think family and career. But there are so many other areas of our life. Fun, adventure, giving back, mental health, spiritual health, physical health. There are so many things that are part of our life. I'm convinced that we cannot have it all, all the time. But what's important is at us at 90 or 100, looking back at our life, we need to be happy that we've achieved everything we wanted to achieve in every aspect of our life. But it's going to change throughout the years.
- [12:09]
B
Like different seasons, for example.
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A
Exactly. I call it different season. So for example, in your case, when you have a young baby, your focus is your family and your career. And it's okay if you don't have too much time for your friends or you cannot travel ten times a year because you know that in this phase, these are your priorities. And then every six months, you review these 10 areas of your life. You choose three that are your top priorities for the next six months and these become your North Star. So it's the first thing that comes into your calendar. It's the first thing that you focus on. This is where you set your boundaries and you say no to other things and then you don't feel bad about the other areas because you're going to revisit all the areas in six months and redefine. Okay, now the next six months, what do I need? And it's been so interesting, especially doing it with my daughters that are 21 and 20, because they know what my priorities are, I know what their priorities are. And we try to all support each other to be able to reach our objectives.
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B
Yeah, I really like that. And I can understand how powerful it would be, like doing it as a family unit or with your partner.
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A
Absolutely.
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B
What do you do in moments if your priorities are misaligned, like, say, between you and your husband or you and a partner, like, if you're both sitting down to do this exercise, exercise. And you know, does it need to be the case that you should align on your priorities or is it okay to have mismatch? And if so, how do you best move forward to support each other with the variant?
- [13:39]
A
Amazing, amazing question. And I have this, I had this with my partner, with my daughters, and when sometimes you don't have alignment, and it's okay not to have alignment as long as there is clear communication. So let's say for you, your career is very important. So your husband would know that this is why you have days that are blocked for your podcast. So these are a priority. And he knows that these days you cannot go to the gym or you cannot go out at night because the next day you have a long morning, et cetera. So even if his priority could be fun friends, and fun is high on his priority list, he can still adapt it to match your priorities as well. So this is where communication is key. And at the end of the day, you have three areas, two to three areas that you focus on. He will have two to three areas that he focuses on. And while communicating together, you can make sure that each one reach their objectives. But when you don't talk about those or you don't set your priorities, you're always overwhelmed and frustrated because you want to do everything because of FOMO and because you see on social media everybody's life that looks perfect on every aspect, etc. So it's important to set these priorities and to revisit them. And this is how at 90 or 100, you can have achieved everything.
- [15:00]
B
Yeah, it's definitely something I'm proud to say. Like, my husband and I are very good in communicating. You know, what's he working on? What am I working on? What do we want for our relationship, for our family to constantly be able to evolve together because different seasons look so different. And I mean, I think entering into parenthood has been not the biggest test, but I think the biggest new experience we've gone through together. And that has change the dynamic of our relationship. Not in a bad way. We're just like going through different Terrain, you know, and our needs are very different going through that. The time we have with each other is very different. So it's very important to have those conversations. But I always like when I hear like these practical ways that people can do it, you know, there's actually an exercise in here, and this is based
- [15:47]
A
on my personal experience. And the experience was working with 3,000 other women in the region. So it's like extremely practical because at the end I don't want theory. You can find theory anywhere, especially now online. You have so much content. But it's how can I make it happen? And this is why now we're doing a workbook, we're doing workshops, online workshops. If you want to be doing the exercises with other people. We're doing a three days retreat in Georgia. We're going to Georgia to completely disconnect. So in the morning we're doing the exercises, in the afternoon we're discovering the country. So I'm trying to create a community around the power to say yes so that you, you don't have to do it alone. Because when you're doing it with other people, when you have accountability partners around you, automatically it pushes you to, to make it happen.
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B
For you personally, what was the most scary yes that you've ever said or what's like the hardest, most challenging yes you've given that was the most rewarding.
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A
I had so many because I've been doing this work for some time now, so I know what I want. So I said yes to moving to Dubai, for example. I just said yes to become a shark on Shark Tank Lebanon. So we just finished season one and we're starting season two. Like this was for me a completely new experience, investing in entrepreneurs, the TV show side of things. But once you know what you want, and for me, my two missions are empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs. So it was part of supporting entrepreneurs. So it was so easy to say yes, but it's because I was ready that it's. So it's easier now to say yes. The book, as we were discussing, like, I felt that the book came to me.
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B
Yes, tell us the story because I was asking you how it came to be.
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A
Yes. So I started it as a letter for my daughters because I have two daughters, 21 and 20 years old. Best thing in my life. And as a mom, I want to tell them so many things, you know, things that I learned at 40, I want them to know at 20. And you'll see when your daughter will be 20, she doesn't want to listen to her mom. So I started it as a letter, but then it was too long of a letter, so I stopped and started thinking, okay, how can I do it in a way that is easy to read, entertaining, nice, and still with a lot of content. So it took me six months to think about the structure of the book. How am I going to start with the stories of five different women, then the different exercises and to take you on a journey? And then when I started writing, it was 15 days. I stopped everything. I canceled every meeting I had, started at 8am, finishing at 2 3am because my eyes were closing. But I still wanted to go. And I really felt that it was such a flow, such an easy process to write. And I didn't change much after I did it in. In one go. Also because I was ready, because I've been working for 10 years with female leaders and females in general, and I have so many stories and experiences and real cases that I could be sharing that it was easy to come. So when you have clarity on what you want, it's much easier to say yes because you're ready for them.
- [19:15]
B
Yeah, I definitely. I felt both sides of that, where you almost feel stuck, like things aren't moving, you don't have momentum, you. You feel like you're in a cloud and you're not sure what's next versus when you have that clarity, it's like the world are just aligns for you, doors just open, you meet people, the right person right next to you.
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A
Absolutely.
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B
Things like that just happen. So I love, I love that that's your backstory with the book. And it's almost funny, you know, you're being a shark on Shark Tank. You're literally sitting on a panel where you have to say yes to things. Yes or no. Yeah. Yes or no.
- [19:43]
A
No. Exactly. But the whole thing is one, once you know what you want and you are strong from the inside, the yes become easier and the no become easier. Because we usually have difficulty saying no to people or to opportunities, because we want to support everyone and because we don't want to miss out on anything. But this also, this work and these exercises help you saying yes. And also because once you know what your priorities are, it's much easier to say no to other things. So now that I know that empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs are my priority, and this is what I talk about on the catalyst of growth, Instagram, in the book, and everything in Shark Tank and everything I do. So when I have an opportunity that does not support these two, I just directly Say no. I don't have to really think too much about it.
- [20:35]
B
So then if we're looking at. Within your priorities, right. You only have so much capacity. So say you have, you can only say yes to five opportunities, but you have 10 that all meet your criteria.
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A
Right?
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B
What. And I think this relates a lot to like high performers, people that really want to achieve a lot. What do you think is the difference with being capable versus like being obliged? So like, technically all 10 would fit your criteria. Right. So you should be saying yes to all of them. But your capabilities mean maybe you can only say yes to five. Like how do you distinguish between that?
- [21:09]
A
Me personally, what I would do, I would create an outstanding team so that I can do the 10. So this is if they are. And this is what happened with Shark Tank. We ended up investing in around 10 companies and I didn't think that we would do so many when we started. So I created the full ecosystem, a group of mentors, investors, business coaches to be able to take on the 10 that I want. So also having the right people around you are very important. If you want, want to go at a speed that I like to go at, or else you just prioritize and you see, okay, what's the impact versus the return? Is it worth my time? I'm not going to be seeing my kids, let's say, to be able to do that, is it worth it? Yes or no? And then it's prioritizing. Actually there's the Eisenhower box also that is in the book. It's one of the techniques that I love where you put things as urgent, important, urgent, not important, etc. And then I explain how to actually choose between all the opportunities that you have. But I personally would try to take as many as I can and build the right team to be able to execute it.
- [22:20]
B
I love that. If we're looking at this question from a personal angle, say there's, there's personal decisions. It's not a question of like investment or work or career. It's like how I'm spending my time. Right. Things to say yes and no to. Can you, can you maybe walk us through the urgent, not urgent, and how you would actually. Can you, can you give us an example. Yes. Of how you would.
- [22:39]
A
I will give you three things that I use all the time. So first is prioritizing. And in this box you have four quadrants. One is urgent, important. This means that you need to do it. The second is urgent, not important. These are the things that tend to move in our calendar because it's not urgent, so you keep on moving it. I call them the grasshoppers. You know, they are jumping. But for me, this, if I move it three times, the third time I need to do it, you know, so because it's important. And then you have the important, urgent, not urgent, not important. So this you stop and then if things that is not important but urgent, you try to delegate it to someone else. So the quadrant is very simple. It's 1, 2, 3, 4. You put all your tasks or everything that you need to do, you focus on 1, 2, you delegate 3, and then you get rid of 4. Once you do that, then we have time and energy management that comes to play. So I start with the first two buckets and these are the two things that I put in my calendar. And then if I still have time, I will do other things. But the most important for me, and this is something I learned five, six years ago, is energy management. Because sometimes. Yeah, because sometimes you have all the time in the world and you don't have the energy to do it. So let's say you have planned from 6 to 8 to spend time with your daughter, but you get there and you're completely exhausted, so you don't have the energy to enjoy the time with her. So what I do is a couple of things. First, something I call the sandwich technique. So when I know something is going to drain my energy, I always put something before and after that is going to energize me. So let's say a marketing meeting would energize me. So this is what I would put just before going home. A finance or legal meeting would drain my energy. So I will not put it just before going to my daughters because I know I will get there and be super drained. So managing the energy and to manage the energy you need to manage the task and the people. Because I have two categories of people, the sun and the moon. The sun are the one when they come into a room, you know, you feel that sunshine came with them and then you have the moon that drain the energy out of you. They most probably are the nicest people in the world, but they are nagging all the time. They only look at the glass half empty and they drain you. So knowing also who are the task and the people that add to your energy bucket or remove from your energy bucket is very important. And this is how I plan my week. So by setting what's important, by managing my time and by managing my energy.
- [25:25]
B
Yeah, that's great advice. What about for people who are Less in control of their schedule. So say they don't run their own business or they're not ahead of a team where they can actually construct. Maybe they are in a role where meetings get put in their calendar. Right. So they maybe cannot control. Would you suggest, like, adding in something? Let's just use the same example of leaving work, going home to your children or your spouse.
- [25:45]
A
Well, let's say if running gives you this positive energy, you always schedule a run before going home. I can give you also one example. I used to go to a child therapist when the kids were young. I would go because I wanted to understand what's important for their development in a specific phase. And I was focused on. I would focus with what is important and delegate the rest because I didn't have a lot of time. And I remember when they were very young, she said, they don't care if you're not there, but when you're there, you need to be super present. So I would come home first. I would always try to put a fun meeting before going home. I would get to the parking, put some music on, completely disconnect, shut my phone so that when I come home, I come with the right energy and with the right right mental attitude. So there are lots of little things, but the most important is awareness. So if you want the two main things that I want people to get out of the book is awareness, understanding what works for you, because what drains your energy. You're a lawyer, you love legal things. For me, this is something that drains my energy. So different people have different things that add or decrease. So awareness is key. And second is accountability. It's on you. It's not anyone's fault, it's not your husband fault, it's not your boss's fault, it's not your schedule fault. It's on you to manage your time, manage your energy, to be able to focus on what's important to you. And this is the way I would look at it.
- [27:22]
B
Yeah, amazing. That's really, really practical advice. Thank you for sharing that. I think what I want to talk about next, you know, we've spoken a little bit about entrepreneurs, and I think there are people that fall into like two. Two categories, like people that are more entrepreneurial and people that a bit more careerist. And I think sometimes a lot of people, especially like if they're sitting in a corporate job, right, like they dream of this entrepreneurial lifestyle, which I think, thank you to social media, is very much glamorized, but it's not always the reality of what it is, of course. So what do you think is the key difference between the two mindsets? You need to excel in both. And what do people need to understand before making any shift?
- [28:04]
A
I love this question because when I started, I started as an entrepreneur at 22 years old. Started my first business, so I never knew anything else. And then in the past five years I've been doing a lot of work in corporates, so doing leadership programs for female in corporate. So I got to really understand and have a deep understanding of ladies in the corporate, corporate versus ladies in entrepreneurship. And it applies to men as well. It's very, very different. But it comes back to awareness, accountability, and what you want from your life. If you enjoy a stable life, if, you know, if you like to have a career, career. So I start as a consultant, then I become a senior consultant, then I have the opportunity to become a partner, etc. So the trajectory is very clear. Some people love this. They know. They love to know what to expect. They love to know that if I do enough effort, this is where I'm gonna head. So this is more the corporate word for you. And there's no right or wrong. Like it's not like this is better than the other. The second, if you like more the. You don't mind the ups and down. The entrepreneurship, I feel, is maybe a bit more rewarding because you're building your own business, your own idea, your own career. But on the other, and it's like roller coaster, continuous roller coaster. So you wake up in the morning super happy. It's going to be a great day. And then you have something that does not go your way. So you're depressed at noon, then you're really energized in the afternoon. And it's like this every single day. And what we see on social media are the successes. But for every success, you have tens of failures as well. So it's like lots of up and down. If you like or if you're okay with these ups and downs, but you still want to focus on solving a problem that is important for you, then entrepreneurship is for you. It's very different, but it's really about what you like and what happy, meaningful life is to you.
- [30:11]
B
Do you think that people are either one or the other or do you think at different seasons in life, one or the other might be more appropriate?
- [30:18]
A
Absolutely. Especially for women. And I've seen a lot of women that are in corporates going all in. In corporates, when they have young kids, they decide to go into entrepreneurs, do their own business so that they have much more flexibility on their time and how to be able to manage both sides of the story. And then some keep growing their company. Some go back to corporates when the kids are a bit older. So we have so many different seasons of life where we don't need to have the same thing. Now for 20 years was focused on food and beverage. We have the Dunkin franchise in Lebanon, Tsum Tsum in the uae, and plenty of other FNB businesses. This was season one, if you want. Now I'm all in. I still have my business, but with an amazing team that is running it. So now I'm always empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs. So it's a completely different career. I love the fnb. I love what I'm doing now. And I'm still the same person. But you evolve, you change, you mature. Even your intelligence changes after 40. There are so many things that make that make it different from season to season. And this is the beauty. So not everything is already done. And whatever you start at 20, you're gonna be doing for the rest of your life.
- [31:43]
B
Yeah, I like that because I think we often pour concrete on what we've set out to be or what our title is, and it feels too different to move. But I think I love the idea in many different aspects, actually looking at life as seasons, whether it's. Whether it's your health, your relationships, your interests, your work in this instance, because it means it's not fixed forever. And it also gives you capacity to really appreciate, like what you're going through now, knowing it's also not forever.
- [32:11]
A
Absolutely. And actually one of the exercises in the book is the three Lives of Stanford. It's an exercise I've done in Stanford School of Business and they use design thinking approach to design your life. And in the exercise, you actually end up designing three different iteration of your life. But based on their research, there are hundreds or thousands of different iterations of your life. Like with your DNA, with your background, with the place you were born, you can have hundreds or thousands of different lives depending on what you say yes to. So taking this step back and thinking that the sky is the limit, like, I could be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do, but today, what is it that I want?
- [32:57]
B
You know, what's the benefit of running through three iterations of your life? Like, what's the purpose of that exercise?
- [33:02]
A
The exercise is, first it's if everything goes perfectly with the life that you're at, how would this evolve over five years then if your main business disappears. So in my case, when I did this exercise was 15 years ago. So it was FNB restaurants. If restaurants disappear in from the face of the earth, what would you do?
- [33:25]
B
I would cry.
- [33:27]
A
But for me it was mentoring female leaders. So this was something because I just started mentoring at that time. And then if money was not a problem and nobody would laugh, what would you do? I said I would travel 100 countries and talk about it. And then the coach then stopped and says, the professor says, but we have one life. So what if you take few ideas from the different lives and create your happy and meaningful for life. And for me it was starting. I started mentoring, like really focused on mentoring. Then I'm still focused to get to 100 countries. I'm at 83 now. I have three new countries planned for, for this year and, and in. And looking at the different options and trying to create a life that I would be very happy with.
- [34:24]
B
That's the first time I've heard of that. That's very interesting. I'm going to have to, to sit and go.
- [34:27]
A
You're gonna have to go through the book.
- [34:29]
B
I will, I will. Yeah. Very interesting to think about the role of an exercise like that in expanding your mind to possibility in a practical way.
- [34:39]
A
Absolutely. Like imagine you can have hundreds different iteration. It's crazy.
- [34:44]
B
Yeah.
- [34:44]
A
Like you think that this is our life and we might have one or two. No, hundreds of different options.
- [34:50]
B
Definitely. If you guys are loving this episode so far, don't forget to give it a like, like drop us a comment with your biggest takeaway and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss any future episodes. I think another interesting topic that I'd like to ask you about is this idea of really wanting more for ourselves. Right. It really just sits on what we were just talking about. You know, if you could have a hundred different versions of your life, imagine all the things you could manifest or really bring into your life. I think what I see and what I talk to a lot of women about that, that kind of experiences guilt. Maybe they have people pleasing tendencies have struggled to say of things in the past. I don't know if you've experienced this, but it could be sometimes they might feel ungrateful for their current life if they want more for themselves. So what's the balance between really dreaming far and wide, aiming the bar really high without feeling like you're not happy with the life you have? Because that's often not the case. It's not that you Want all these extra things because you're not happy. I mean, for some people that is true, but for some they are really feeling blessed and grateful for the life they have. But they do want more. How do you move into that energy without feeling displeased with your current life?
- [36:00]
A
I love this question. And you touched upon guilt, so we're going to talk about guilt later as well because this is such an important topic. We are creatures of growth. The way we are built is to constantly grow. And actually Harvard did an 80 year study and they noticed what are the three main drivers of happiness for people from different background, different success at work or not entrepreneurs, corporate, etc. And it boils down to three things. How much you constantly grew, how much you gave back, and the quality of your relations. And that's it. Like status, money, family, married, divorce with kids, no kids, was not a main driver of happiness. Happiness. So how much you grew is part of what makes us who we are as humans. So in one, I love the manifestation word and I think it's very important to know because we're manifesting all the time, so we might as well do it right. So the idea is to always be grateful because gratitude is such a powerful thing that we have. And I read somewhere that you cannot be grateful and anxious at the same time. So every time you feel anxious or overwhelmed, just take a deep breath and be grateful for what we have and automatically it will cancel the other way out. So being grateful is something so important. I have a five minute gratitude meditation that I do every morning like this. Putting yourself in this gratitude frequency is so important, important. But then you're grateful from what you have and then you're raising to the next version of yourself because there's always a next version of ourself that is based on our learning, our experience, our life experiences. Like now you have a mom version of yourself that wasn't here six months ago. So we're constantly going from one version of ourselves to the other other. So grateful for where you are and going to the next version of yourself.
- [38:13]
B
Yeah, it's definitely this idea of you can be both, you can be both wanting more for your life and pushing the boundaries and be grateful. It's not that you're not grateful if you want that.
- [38:22]
A
The gratitude is what keeps us grounded, it's the base. And then you're starting from the gratitude frequency and then you, you're taking yourself to the next level.
- [38:36]
B
Let's circle back to guilt now because especially, you know, high performing women who want to have it all and are trying to do it on be everything to everyone all at once. Even working through a lot of these concepts like working through people pleasing. I mean I talk about so many mindset things on this channel that have helped me overcome. But there are a lot of things I'm working through still myself.
- [38:56]
A
How will work on progress all the time?
- [38:58]
B
Of course, that's life. Guilt specifically has been a difficult one to shape. I think specifically if you've grown up with programming that expects a lot from you, that your value is based on what you do and how much of it you do. And I think as high performers we can often fall into that trap of my value is how much I've done, you know, my output really material, measurable things. And so when you, when you take that as your program and then you're going to do things in the actual world like saying no or maybe making someone upset, that brings up guilt that is very difficult to shake sometimes and often gets in the way of us saying yes to ourselves. So talk to me about guilt. Is this something you've experienced? I'm sure it's something you've coached people through. Talk to me about some key things we should understand if this is something we're struggling with.
- [39:47]
A
Extremely important. And again, I've worked with more than 3,000 women and if there's one thing that, that I've seen in all of them, including myself, is guilt. And two things I will talk about. Guilt first is in one of our therapy sessions, I remember the therapist told me guilt is not helping the other person. So let's say if you're at work and feeling guilty because you're not at home, you're not helping your daughter in any way, shape or form or when you're at home, and then feeling guilty because you didn't record a podcast or whatever you wanted to do at work, you're not helping your work as well. So first we need to understand that guilt is the kind of feeling that is not serving anyone. So it's not like something that help others. This is one the second and this is a story I share in in the book. A couple of years ago I went to Bhutan, which is a little country next to Nepal, very nice place. And we did a 12km hike to get to the Tiger's Nest. It's a small monastery in the middle of nowhere. I will never do a 12km hike like this.
- [41:02]
B
I'm happy my girlfriend just did this. So I know exactly what you're talking about.
- [41:06]
A
It was so exhausting. But we get there and then there's this monk that is this master monk. And we got to ask him a question. Each one of us got to ask him a question. We were 20 and one lady asked him about guilty. And she was like, I'm guilty because I'm happy to be in Bhutan right now, but my kids are back at home alone. And it took him 10 minutes to understand what guilt was. Not because he didn't understand English, he was super fluent speaking English better than you and I, but he couldn't understand the concept. And you had all these mini monks trying to Google translate to him and trying to explain like what guilt means. And it took him a lot of time to understand. And then he looked at us and he said, but why would you do that? If you're living the present moment and enjoying the moment now, you shouldn't feel this way because like you're now. So what's happening a minute ago or what's happening and it's going to happen in 10 minutes shouldn't even be something you think about. And for us it was such a wake up call. Because guilt is culturally. It's not something in our DNA that comes with our gene. When we're human, we are born with guilt. No, it's because of this society, expectations and everything that comes from our background and our education that made us feel this way. So if it's not something in our gene, this means that we can change it. And I invite everyone to start working on killing the guilt. And there's a chapter called Just Kill the Guilt. So this is a mission that we should all be on.
- [42:50]
B
That is a very powerful story. Like when you actually think about it, someone who is so in the present that they can't even actually understand or fathom the concept of guilt. That really reframes things a lot.
- [43:02]
A
Absolutely.
- [43:03]
B
Did after that trip, did that change away you that you dealt with?
- [43:07]
A
Actually, I dealt with guilt around 10, 20 years ago with these therapy sessions around guilt. And when I understood that I'm not helping someone else by feeling guilty towards them, then automatically it really helped me kill the guilt. But the reason why there's a full chapter on guilt, because I've seen it over and over and over again. When I do conferences with 500 women, 1,000 women, and I always ask, raise your hand if you felt guilty. And almost every single woman in the room will actually raise their hand. So this is something that we really need to be working because it's culture. It's not something that comes with us.
- [43:52]
B
Yeah, really powerful for Someone listening who's feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Right. They maybe feel like they're really trying to show up in their life in many different areas, but they're feeling really guilty or, like I said, just overwhelmed. What is the smallest yes they can start with today, like right now, from listening to this episode, it's saying yes
- [44:11]
A
to taking a step back and to look at their life. Most of the time you're overwhelmed when you're trying to do too much, while if you take a step back, decide what you want your happy, meaningful life to be, and do the Wheel of Life and the other exercises I'm recommending in the book, then you know that you're going to be focused on these three aspects of your life for the next six months. So automatically it takes the stress down because instead of trying to do 20,000 things, you're focused on three to four things. And this makes a big difference.
- [44:43]
B
Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. A closing question from me is, what's one sentence that you hope from the book stays with the readers for a very long time?
- [44:53]
A
Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Just chill, take a step back and decide what you want your happy, meaningful life to be.
- [45:03]
B
Beautiful. Well, you very kindly brought a copy for me today, and I know you have a question for me.
- [45:08]
A
Yes. Because I've been doing a lot of the book signing information and the question I always ask is, what are you saying yes to in 2026? One thing that you're saying yes to,
- [45:21]
B
I'm saying this is the book. It's beautiful. The power to say yes. It's available on Amazon, so I'll put a link in the show notes so everyone can access all the exercises we spoke about today and much more will be in there. What am I saying yes to this year is giving myself permission. To explore the different aspects of myself. Because I feel like as I've gone through life, I can. I've been quite rigid in I'm now doing this, I'm now doing that, but I'm now at a point in time where I've almost manifested this reality where I am a mom, I have this podcast, I'm still doing legal work. And I feel for the longest time, so many people have said to me, you're doing too much. But I've always envisioned this life for myself where I am enjoying many different things all at once. And so I'm now working on the permission to let myself be all those things and be present in all those things and make them work.
- [46:22]
A
And this is so important because when people tell you you're doing too much, too little, it's their interpretation of their happy, meaningful life, you know, so it's what is yours and if it's too much in someone else's standards. So it is your happy, meaningful life. And I wish you'll be able to explore so many different aspects of your life as well.
- [46:43]
B
Thank you so much. This is really special. I can't wait to read it and actually do the exercises, even with my husband. So thank you very, very much and
- [46:50]
A
I'm looking forward to your feedback and all the viewers feedback as well, for sure.
- [46:55]
B
If there's any questions and you guys are watching on YouTube, please put them in the comments below. We might even do a part 2 if there are a lot of things that have come up for people to that you want to hear. Christine, dive deeper into. But as I said, the link is in the show notes. Christine, thank you so much for your time today.
- [47:09]
A
Thank you.
- [47:10]
B
Thank you for putting this out there into the world. I'm very grateful for your time today and I'm excited to read it. So thank you so much. Thank you.
- [47:16]
A
Thank you for a lovely conversation.
- [47:17]
B
Thank you.