Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya
Date: October 14, 2025
Guest: Bosco

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Overview

This episode features Katya interviewing Bosco, the celebrated and boundary-pushing drag queen known for her appearances on RuPaul’s Drag Race and her distinctive, often goblin-chic take on drag. The main theme centers on the complexities of drag artistry, the evolution of drag on television, the intersection of trans identity and performance, and a mutual appreciation for both the grotesque and the glamorous. The conversation is honest, irreverent, and hilariously insightful about everything from technical drag tips to the absurdities of drag fame.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Life and Gigs in Drag

[03:36 - 05:33]

• Working in L.A. & Dinner Drag:
  • Bosco recounts a string of gigs in West Hollywood, specifically at Hamburger Mary’s, noting the physically grueling and socially transactional nature of the drag scene.
  • “No one's gonna hang out with you ever. So you have to, like, find ways to just work with them.” (Bosco, 04:29)
  • The hustle is real: friendships often form through collaboration and performing.
• Choice of Numbers & Inspirations:
  • Bosco describes performing “Eaten Alive” by Diana Ross, and getting naked during an Amy Winehouse number, paying homage to drag herstory and borrowing numbers from previous queens.

Drag Techniques, Nudity on Stage, and Gendered Double Standards

[05:33 - 08:14]

• Wardrobe Malfunctions & Hacks:
  • Bosco uses carpet tape and vinyl tape for securing costumes and pasties, emphasizing practicality and humor about onstage nudity.
  • “If you're already that naked, how much shame can you possibly have left if, like, your nipple falls out...” (Bosco, 06:26)
• Gendered Laws & Affirmation:
  • Bosco discusses how trans women and femme-presenting drag queens often face stricter attire laws in certain states—an odd, gender-affirming but frustrating form of misogyny.

Surgical Enhancements, Trans Women in Drag & Evolving Drag Race Culture

[08:14 - 13:55]

• Trans Surgery and Bodily Autonomy:
  • Touches on the dangers of black-market fillers and body modifications within the trans community.
  • Bosco notes temptations and regrets around body enhancements, particularly for padding and shape.
• Drag Race’s Shifting Attitudes Toward Trans and Non-Binary Performers:
  • Early Drag Race wanted clear boy/girl delineation; reality is far less binary.
  • “They wanted the division, the separation of church and state. Yes, yes. And they needed that…for cross dressing. And trans women don't fit very neatly in that.” (Bosco, 11:02)
  • Contestants’ presentations have grown more fluid and complex over time.
• Drag’s Goblin Aesthetic:
  • “You got to be a goblin out of drag. It's like drag is for goblins.” (Katya, 27:37)

Drag Rituals, Getting Ready, and the Illusion of Glamour

[13:06 - 17:22]

• Transformation Struggles:
  • Contact lenses and lips are both cited as the worst part of the drag process.
  • “There is nothing worse...during the transformation process...if I'm super tired...if I don't ever get there, the night is a bust.” (Katya, 15:04)
• Worst Nightmare:
  • Bosco tells a horror story of missing luggage with makeup/wigs before a major gig, saved only by reconstructive facial surgery (“FFS”) and a last-minute save.
• Best vs. Worst of Drag:
  • Seeing oneself fully done up is an unparalleled high; day drag and harsh lighting are the ultimate humility.

Drag on TV: Preparation and Perfection “Arms Race”

[21:16 - 25:58, 38:08 - 44:38]

• Outfit Prepping for Drag Race:
  • The “bracket” format in All Stars made it manageable, but the rush and expense are extreme for TV drag.
  • It’s increasingly a production “arms race”—only a fraction of prepared looks make it to air.
  • The show feels like a Marvel movie in its production scale, especially with queens like Plastique bringing “Marvel budget” looks.
• Designer Burnout:
  • “Designers are so hard to work with right now...every designer is just, like, got a waiting list. They're all just, like, tired. They don't want to do it anymore.” (Bosco, 39:07)
• On Social Media and Promo Shoots:
  • Bosco and Katya critique the ever-increasing expectation for Instagram-perfect, cinematic reveals in addition to the HD show footage.

True Drag Spirit: "Mall Drag," Goblins & Whamming Up

[62:05 - 63:09]

• Both believe drag should return to its scrappy, goblin, spontaneous roots—“mall drag” and cross-dressing for its own joy.
• Memorable line and mantra:
  • “All my sissies are getting whammed up tonight too.” (Bosco, recalling Nicole Paige Brooks, 62:38)
• “If you're not chubbed on the main stage…get out of here.” (Katya, 38:18) (as a joking standard of true passion for the craft)

Fame, Fans, and Meet-and-Greets

[54:55 - 56:10]

• Bosco is frank about finding meet-and-greets draining rather than energizing, preferring performance to one-on-one fan interactions.
• “A meet and greet just feels like I'm pouring a lot. And they deserve it and they should have that…” (Bosco, 55:30)
• The subtext: drag fame is bizarre – complaints about meeting adoring fans sound ridiculous in other industries.
• Katya admits she once preferred meeting the audience to shows, as a way to break out of shyness.

Iconic Looks, Inspirations & Fashion Hot Takes

[23:11 - 44:58]

• Bosco talks the inspirations and design process behind some of her most distinct looks and runways, including Tim Burton, Mugler, and horror.
• They both praise Detox as a queen with a wholly unique sense of style and taste.
• Debate the “Hot Wheels” hair trend:
  • “I love hair that looks like hair. I'm tired of the Hot Wheels hair.” (Bosco, 51:13)

Drag Community Humor & Drama

[24:55 - 27:46]

• Lighthearted shade thrown (lovingly) at Plastique, queens who "look too good" out of drag, and the “law of equivalent exchange” in drag—the more beautiful in drag, the more goblin outside.

“Rapid Fire” and Deep Cuts

**[61:02 - 70:46]

• Quickfire questions reveal:**
  • Names of Bosco’s cats: Toby and Tito.
  • Drag humiliation rituals: Snatch Game vs. “Pocketbook Book” lip sync—both hated.
• Catholic upbringing, body shame, and growing up trans are discussed with humor and honesty.
• The best and worst sounds: the jangle of jewelry (best); peeling off a wig (worst).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[04:29] Bosco: “No one's gonna hang out with you ever. So you have to, like, find ways to just work with them.”

[06:26] Bosco: “If you're already that naked, how much shame can you possibly have left if, like, your nipple falls out...”

[11:02] Bosco: “They wanted the division, the separation of church and state… And trans women don't fit very neatly in that.”

[27:37] Katya: “You got to be a goblin out of drag. It's like drag is for goblins.”

[39:07] Bosco: “Designers are so hard to work with right now... every designer is just, like, got a waiting list. They're all just, like, tired. They don't want to do it anymore.”

[62:38] Bosco (recalling Nicole Paige Brooks): “All my sissies are getting whammed up tonight too.”

[55:30] Bosco: “A meet and greet just feels like I'm pouring a lot...I charge myself by being alone.”

[51:13] Bosco: “I love hair that looks like hair. I'm tired of the Hot Wheels hair.”

---

Important Segments with Timestamps

• [03:36-05:33]
  • Performance: drag shows at Hamburger Mary’s, what the gigs are like, money/friendship overlap in drag.
• [05:33-08:14]
  • Wardrobe hacks, nudity on stage, double standards for femme queens, “gender-affirming misogyny.”
• [08:14-13:55]
  • Trans experiences in drag, the evolution of Drag Race inclusivity, dangers and allure of body modifications.
• [13:06-17:22]
  • The pain and payoff of getting into drag, nightmare gig stories.
• [21:16-44:38; 38:08-44:38]
  • Dressing for Drag Race/All Stars, the mounting “production arms race,” prepping looks, and tech/fashion talk.
• [62:05-63:09]
  • Celebrating “mall drag” and the importance of drag for its own sake; “getting whammed up.”
• [54:55-56:10]
  • Honest take on the emotional toll of meet-and-greets vs. performing.
• [61:02-70:46]
  • Rapid fire: cats' names, humiliating drag rituals, reflecting on Catholic childhoods, best and worst sounds.
• [71:08-end]
  • Joke awards, emotional closing, favorite drag humor and references (“this was by far the most recent”).

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Tone & Style

The episode is raucous, blunt, and densely packed with inside drag humor, queer theory, personal anecdotes, and cutting observations about LGBTQ life, television culture, and fame. Bosco brings dry wit and surgical honesty, while Katya’s humor swings between the grotesque and the self-deprecating, united by a relentless commitment to both beauty and chaos.

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Final Thoughts

For anyone interested in the realities and absurdities of modern drag culture, especially as it's transformed by TV stardom and trans visibility, this episode delivers candid commentary, technical tips, and plenty of laughs—all against a backdrop of goblin-glamorous irreverence.

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Recommended for:

• Drag performers, drag fans, and anyone interested in LGBTQ+ pop culture, performance art, or the inside baseball of Drag Race lore.
• Listeners who love candid, raunchy, and subversive comedy with sharp cultural insights.
• Fans of Bosco, Katya, or the broader queer comedy scene.

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Listen at: The Bald and the Beautiful or search on your favorite podcast app.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Katya, you know what I love?

[B]

Jason Momoa on a bed of mashed potatoes.

[C]

Nuts.

[A]

I'm obsessed with nuts.

[B]

I know. I've seen your search history.

[A]

No, you little idiot. I'm talking about the snack that pretends to be bad for you, but it isn't. I'm talking about wonderful pistachios.

[B]

Well, slap my behind and call me Shirley. You're talking about wonderful pistachios? The don't hold back snack. Tell me more, oh, wise purveyor of nut facts.

[A]

Well, it came in a package to my house, and each serving has 6 grams of protein. Plus, they're bold, flavorful, and just a little dangerous. You can get honey roasted, jalapeno lime chili roasted, or my favorite, which I tried this morning, dill pickle.

[B]

And as my great Aunt Olga used to say, wonderful pistachios bring the heat, the sweet, and everything in between.

[A]

Plus, they come with shells or no shells for your snacking pleasure. I'm a no shells person. I can't have anything get in the way of me eating. I've got lashes to glue on, I got wigs to fluff. But if you like cracking them, I want you to live your nutcracking truth, honey.

[B]

Whether I'm backstage on the road or hiding in a wig closet with a bag in hand, wonderful pistachios are my go to. I love the flavor of them.

[A]

I love them now.

[B]

Yeah, I love them, too.

[A]

And when I'm in drag, I can't always sit and eat a whole meal. But sometimes I just need a little something.

[B]

A little nut.

[A]

And if I have a healthy option, I'm a lot more likely to eat that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So don't hold back, dear listeners. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like the stunning diva you are.

[B]

Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

[A]

Again, that's wonderful. Fullpastachios.com to learn more. Take it from us. We know our way around a bag of nuts.

[B]

Upgrade your laundry routine with a durable and reliable Maytag laundry pair at Lowes. Like the new Maytag washer and dryer with performance enhanced stain fighting power designed to cut through serious dirt and grime. And what's great is this laundry pair is in stock and ready for delivery when you need it the most. Don't miss out. Shop Maytag in store or online today at Lowe's. Some days call for working up a sweat, working on your passion and endless action. Ditch the glitch with Liquid IV's new energy multiplier sugar free refreshing flavors like strawberry, kiwi and BlackBerry lemonade. Scientifically formulated to support physical energy, hydration, focus, mood and social stamina. Liquid IV's new energy multiplier. Sugar free hydrating energy. Tap the banner to learn more. Hi, divas. We are going to be doing our final live bald shows of the year. November 9th will be in Tucson, Arizona. That's right. We only go to the desert in the winter. And on November 13, we'll be in Honolulu. Oh, baby. Get your tickets now@trixian katya.com. it goes without saying that I have full body channel for our. For our guests today. Neither of us are bald. One of us is beautiful. And I'm going to try to. I'm gonna try to restrain my lecherous pervert proclivities and have a civilized conversation with our guest.

[C]

I wish you wouldn't.

[B]

I'm gonna try. She's a woman of grace and dignity, but she also happens to be one of the hottest, horrible ever produced by God himself. Please welcome Bosco.

[C]

Thank you. I don't know if God can take credit for this. I'm gonna have to give some of it to Dr. Lou.

[B]

It's God.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

It's God.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

So how are you doing? First of all, thank you for coming. How are you doing?

[C]

I am so good. I'm so good. I'm so good. Not really. Hamburger Mary's, we hope last night and had to wake up and to get in drag. And we've done that for like four days in a row. Double seating. Double seating.

[B]

We ho not the most glamorous. Stage setup.

[C]

Stage setup.

[B]

There's no.

[C]

Stop right there.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

There's tables, there's a linoleum.

[B]

Okay. So what do you feel about. Do they have like a. Do they have a pole or. There's like a spiral staircase.

[C]

There's a spiral staircase.

[B]

They need a pole.

[C]

That would kind of be fun, like fireball style. Just like, that's how the girls get.

[B]

And then a motorized one to bring you back up.

[C]

Okay. I was just like, how do we get the lug?

[B]

Like, beam you up. Yeah. Not. I mean, how do you feel about dinner, Dragon?

[C]

It is not my sport, but I do like money.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And I do like hanging out with the LA girls. And the only way you can hang out with the LA girls is by work.

[B]

Working.

[C]

Yeah. No one's gonna go out. No one's gonna hang out with you ever. So you have to, like, find ways to just work with them.

[B]

The only way.

[C]

The only way.

[B]

Drag queens is if there's money.

[C]

Exactly. If you're gigging with them. So we did that.

[B]

It's like Trixie, I. I call her all the time. She's like, I don't hear dollar signs.

[C]

So it's not sponsored by.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what. What numbers did you do?

[C]

What numbers did I do? Okay. I did Eaten Alive by Diana Ross. It is back in the 80s when she used to do a lot of cocaine. You can hear like the bass player sniffling on the track. It's great. It's ferocious and mean. And I stole the entire number from Monica Monroe who was Continental in 93.

[B]

And she a black woman.

[C]

She was not.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

She was not. She was a white lady with a larger nose. So just like me. And it's great.

[B]

Okay. Just making sure we're not stealing from black folks.

[C]

No, but I think she might have stole it from black lady. So who's to say?

[B]

I'm not.

[C]

I'm personally not doing.

[B]

Wait, Diana Ross or Donna Summer?

[C]

Diana Ross.

[B]

Okay. What. What other numbers did you do?

[C]

I did Amy Winehouse. You know, I'm no good. And I got very naked to that one. And then we like crawled all over the tables and poured water on ourselves. Cuz our last costume is like a swimsuit.

[B]

Hot wet tits. Damn. So. So talk about nudity on stage. Is there. Is there ever.

[C]

Is it?

[B]

What's the process? What's the prep? Is there anxiety about like slippage? What's going on there?

[C]

So I have things down to a pretty well oiled science, I would say. I oiled, oiled lots of different adhesives. I use carpet tape.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Which is like an industrial double sided tape. And that holds on pasties, that holds on bits and bobs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We have the vinyl tape that everybody loves to like sling. Sling the bits back.

[B]

Okay. That's that clear.

[C]

That a little bit of stretch.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that one. Courtney uses that to, to. To form whatever the fuck she thinks is a pussy. It's truly horrifying. Truly horrifying. If you've seen it up close, it's the terrifier then. And then. Do you like. Have you had malfunctions? I'm sure you've had malfunctions.

[C]

Absolutely. I feel like if you're already that naked, how much shame can you possibly have left if like your nipple falls out or you have like a little bit.

[B]

Did you ever get in trouble?

[C]

I have not gotten in trouble for it. Even though there's been like some side not city limit Situations where a little bit of spillage.

[B]

But here's the thing. If the local law enforcement happen to like roll up on the joint, you think that they're going to arrest you? No, they're going to get a rock hard tumes and boner and they're going to let you go.

[C]

Porquelo no dose. They can have. They can have it all.

[B]

What did you just say?

[C]

Why not both?

[B]

Oh, and espanol.

[C]

Yes, absolute. You're so learned. A woman of the world travels. One thing that I have noticed though is I've been getting a lot of gender affirming misogyny from different.

[B]

I thought you were going to say gender affirming massages. That too. That too.

[C]

They just go in. They just massage the boob.

[B]

Like that is woman xx.

[C]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Double D's for you.

[B]

Why not? Well, let's just ditch the misogyny and just go to gender affirming massages.

[C]

I think we could start something like that.

[B]

So wait, what happened?

[C]

Oh, just like in certain states, I have to wear more clothing than boys who are doing the same thing as me. And like in certain states, there'll be drag queens that have to be. That can be less covered up than I have to be because I have female presenting breasts. And it's honestly very affirming, but also just very annoying because like when you shift over enough into like girlhood. Womanhood, you find that the state is all up in your business all of the time, girl.

[B]

It's like, get that government out of my pussy.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Get that.

[C]

Somebody should put that on a T shirt.

[B]

Yeah. Excuse me, Congressman. Why do you have your whole body up my coochie hole? Why are you feeling up on my titties?

[C]

Feeling. Well, it's a gender affirming massage. He's the one that's actually doing it.

[B]

So it's his job.

[C]

I'm tipping him.

[B]

Well, you know what? Back in the day when the girls used to get injected with who knows what, that was a very gender affirming massage. Absolutely. Doctor boss job.

[C]

When they have the rolling pin to like get it out of the crazy. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that anymore. If you can, it looks really good. If you don't do that, it looks incredible painful.

[B]

It's cheap.

[C]

You're gonna like it. There's no recovery time. You leave the hotel and you go immediately.

[B]

You get right on that plane.

[C]

Exactly. You have to do this number on the plane.

[B]

But seriously, like, like you're in economy comfort. Just standing, just lurch crazy underneath the cabinet, girl. I mean, I've. I have friends, I have, I have trans women friends who, you know, my age or older. And you know, back in the day, they went to Dr. Bob, like heavy quotations on the doctor part. And, you know, they got injected with hydrogel or whatever, you know, these like, experimental fillers for, for creating womanly shapes and just got right on a plane, got ran on a plane halfway across the world from Thailand, leaking, leaking, leaking.

[C]

Yeah, you have to wear the little stockings and like the super glue it shut. Absolutely nothing but the finest.

[B]

It's crazy.

[C]

No, I. In a moment of weakness, I did come this close. Didn't. Didn't do it. Don't do it.

[B]

I'm sure it's very.

[C]

But it's just like a siren song for like all trans women because, like, there's not a huge amount of good options to like, pat out the hips, especially if you're skinny. You can't really do like a BBL situation.

[B]

Well, also, BBLs, even when performs, are really, really dangerous. They're super dangerous. Even when performed by a very, by a very good doctor with, you know, the United States. They're very dangerous. They're very dangerous. Blood clots and all that. What do you.

[C]

How do you get pumped?

[B]

How do you, like, I'm just trying to think about the, historically the inclusion of, or the introduction of trans women into drag into the drag race universe. And you know, before that it was kind of like a. There, there seemed to be like a pretty like hard reticence to kind of go that route. Why do you think, why do you think that happened? What softened do you think? What do you chalk that up to, if you, if anything?

[C]

I think a lot of it is like, figuring out, like, when drag race first came around, it was the first thing ever like it to be on television that kind of like went that big.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I feel like they wanted really clearly defined boundaries, which is not something that you really get with gender and drag. And they tried to make it the thing where it just like, oh, they're like a boy during the day, but they're a girl at night. When most, like professional drag queens are weird little gremlins that are never either any of the time, hell it girl. So I, yeah, I feel like they really wanted that. Like, they wanted the division, the separation of church and state. Yes, yes. And they needed that. They needed the two branches of the government for cross dressing. And trans women don't fit very neatly in that. And it was Just kind of hard to explain and, like, sell, I imagine, which is.

[B]

I mean, it. Which I. I mean, I know a lot of trans women, and I know most of the trans women I know don't wear top and bottom lashes to go to the bank. You know what I mean? I. I don't see, like, looking at it now. It's like, I especially. Because a lot of. Like you said, a lot of the contestants, even if they're just identify as CIS guys, they got no brows. They got. They got. They're there.

[C]

Their legs are shaved on.

[B]

It's very. It's very. It's giving. Is giving very. Like, in between, there was a drag queen back home called Misery with a Z. Great drag name and that. She was. During the day, she was just one woman.

[C]

She'd be like, lay Misery.

[B]

I mean, braids down her butt. Like, like six inch.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Panamanian. Panamanian. Panamanian. And just like, very, very. Not very.

[C]

Is it M?

[B]

Is it F? We don't know. We were too afraid to ask. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But, you know, but if I, like, I couldn't have walked into season two with these shoes in this wiglet.

[C]

No, no. They're like, get out of here, you. Oh, my God. This is a place for men.

[B]

But do you know these girls start wearing pieces in the confessionals.

[C]

I love it.

[B]

I love it, too.

[C]

I love.

[B]

I want the glue. I want the glued on lace brows.

[C]

Oh, the Brooklyn hydration.

[B]

I want the full on, like, Bob Barker rugby. Like, I want the whole boy, like, drag fantasy.

[C]

My favorite is when the hairpiece is under the wig cap. Under the wig.

[B]

That just. You just read my mind to me.

[C]

I were to go back over.

[B]

If I were to go back on Drag Race. You just read my fucking mind. I would take. I would be so annoying about applying my wig cap. Oh, and I was out.

[C]

Out. Oh, God, it's so.

[B]

Oh, ouch.

[C]

Oh, my God. I guess I have to pin it in.

[B]

And then we'd tape it, too, just because, you know. And then I would gel the hair and I would just be like, what are you talking about?

[C]

I've been full.

[B]

Full denial.

[C]

You're, like, gluing down the hairline. Like, I need to make sure that I don't rip any of it out.

[B]

Oh, my God. I would be glue sticking. Glue sticking.

[C]

I love the girls that do that, where all of this is completely glued down.

[B]

I mean, well, I mean, imagine. I can't even. I've never been able to relate. I've been bald since I was like, fudgeing three, but, like, to have a hairline like Teresa Giudice, where they need to glue stick half of their fucking.

[C]

Hair, otherwise the wig doesn't fit on.

[B]

So fierce.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

What is the worst part about getting into drag? And what is the best part about getting into drag? Ooh.

[C]

These days, once it's all on and you see yourself in the mirror or, like, to yourself in the reflection of, like, the car window, you're like, okay, yeah, that's very, very. That's very, very lovely.

[B]

The worst part was there. Is there a. Is there a moment where, like, for me, it's the lips.

[C]

The lips. And then for me, contacts. So I wear, like, a light. These are contacts. They are. They are indeed.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, we can do this thing.

[B]

Holy shit. Those are so natural.

[C]

Thank you. I really like them, and they're fabulous.

[B]

I would never have known. They don't have. They're not that. Like, we were contacts back in the day. They were like the.

[C]

The cocomon trees, ice blue ones.

[B]

Or like Trixie. Trixie. Those, like, bright blue fucking robot things.

[C]

Oh, those were scary. I like.

[B]

They are super scary.

[C]

Do you remember when for no reason, Sasha Colby's just wearing them for, like, a reunion? You're like, what? Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother.

[B]

What's wrong with your eyes?

[C]

But I don't feel like. Those are.

[B]

Those are cunts.

[C]

I really like.

[B]

What color is that?

[C]

Like, an icy gray or something? They make me get. Desio Decio is the brand that makes that FDA approved, probably. They're based out of Italy. Who's to say? Well, the contacts. The contact, the lashes. The contact.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[C]

Okay. Because sometimes I'm like, I don't know if I believe it. I don't know if I believe in it. Well, and then the moment the lashes and the contacts go in, I'm like, no, no, no, I'm here.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I always believed it.

[C]

Absolutely. I got a badge. Like, we're good.

[B]

Is there. There is nothing worse that I. There is a. Like, during the transformation process, like, for me, there is like a. If I'm really not wanting to get into drag and I'm not. Like, if I'm super tired, it can. I. And I struggle to get to that pussy point. And sometimes, if I don't ever get there, the night is a bust.

[C]

It's a do it. If I feel like I had the true blue traveling girl nightmare earlier this week where I get to the gig and my suitcase does not. And it is the suitcase with my hair and my makeup, I have an hour to get ready, and I have to use my out of drag makeup and Chanel's makeup for the Vegas gig, the one at Piranha, which is a marathon of a night and a hundred person meet and greet, and you're like, okay, now everybody's gonna see me at my fucking worst. Thankfully. FFS really, really cool would recommend that to all the world.

[B]

I was gonna say, everybody, get your work done. It's not a dog show. Even without lip sync.

[C]

No, I just look like a nice lady. Like. Like, we didn't take a picture with.

[B]

A nice lady line up.

[C]

She's like this really tall lady just walked in, and now you can meet her for only 50 bucks. And we just kind of went with that. It was fine. It was truly fine.

[B]

Nice lady. What a great job.

[C]

Nice lady. I know. Wait, Nice lady. Yeah, that's a nice lady up next to the stage. Nice lady. The least favorite, the worst part about putting makeup, though, is multiple light sources. When, like, you're getting, like, a light source from, like, the window to the side and all the texture and sins are revealed.

[B]

Mary.

[C]

Getting in drag in the morning, such as I just did, really, really humble.

[B]

That was a big. I don't know about you, but for Drag Race, that was a huge. I've never done that. I had never gotten in drag at 6am Fuck it.

[C]

It's terrible.

[B]

It was.

[C]

It was a huge ungodly.

[B]

The ner. The nerves of being there was the only thing that helped wake me up, like, scraping, like, shaving the. I mean, I have a. I have a very, very heavy beard. Like, oh, God, it was rotten.

[C]

And.

[B]

But these days, like, I prefer it because then you're like, you can be in bed by 8 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[B]

I'm just a night person.

[C]

Yeah, I'm a night person. And, like, I also enjoy drinking when I'm in drag.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I don't like day drinking very much.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it. I like everything being later. I also like being naked on stage.

[B]

Naked during the day is a little trashy.

[C]

It's a little trashy. And, like, that's not me. That's not who I am. It's like, I don't.

[B]

I don't do it. Absolute desperate.

[C]

I was like, come on. Come on.

[B]

Too much.

[C]

So that's not. That's not my truth.

[A]

Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Squarespace. What I love about websites, and I feel like every time I do an ad for Squarespace, I talk to the Business owners, the gals who make their own jewelry, the wig stylists, the yoga instructors, and I'm happy for all of you. Let's bring back making fan sites of things that nobody asks for. Okay? I am a child of the 90s. Back in my day, if you were really into a, you know, made for TV movie that no one's seen, there was probably a website for it. And I just feel like there's a missed opportunity here for you to, to show off your stunning My Little Pony collection or for you to do a, you know, a website dedicated to just interesting architecture in your gated community. Or let's say you want to make a website and document your progress of your hair plugs. There are so many options for people to make websites that no one asked for, and I just want to shout out that community because all drag is valid. But let's say, let's get wild here and say that you have a secret real project that you know everyone's going to love. You have a quilting business and you're just like, well, I need people to see the quality of my work. Let's say you're a reiki healer and you want to be able to schedule appointments and share videos that maybe your patients can, like, incorporate at home in their care. Or let's say you're one of the incredible wig stylists that I personally work with and at some point your business has gotten so big that you need to move it off social media and actually dedicate a website to your business. I'm talking to you. Squarespace is great because, of course, you can show stunning images and videos and you can use templates to make it very easy. I mean, truly, you can be basically only half computer literate and build a beautiful website thanks to some of the templates. And, and the best part is you can sell your content. So let's say you're not even selling wigs. Let's say you're selling wig styling videos. Let's say what you're selling is actually pictures and videos, you know, online courses or blogs or like Introduction to French cooking and 12 easy videos. You know, you could put that on Squarespace and actually charge and make money. And I love that. I also love it because it has fabulous email campaigns. At Trixi Cosmetics. Our campaigns get. Our emails get open 35% of the time, and I believe the typical amount is under 1%. And I'm just, I'm not bragging. I'm just telling you, if you treat your email campaigns more like just A love letter to who follows you. Don't try to sell anything. You'd be amazed with how many times you can actually just get things opened. Go over to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase on a website or domain. Did you know that Squarespace even used their own Squarespace to make the Squarespace website? I don't know if that's true, but I bet it is. Or if somebody had invented Squarespace, I bet they would have saved a lot of time. That's right. Go over to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase on a website or domain.

[B]

This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Quince. Cooler days call for layers that last, and Quince is your go to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined, and won't blow your budget. Hey, Trixie, you were talking about a capsule wardrobe.

[A]

I read this article in a men's magazine, and they talked about how men basically only need a capsule wardrobe. You don't need a lot of clothes. You need really nice, quality pieces that fit you well, that work for lots of different types of occasions. And I've noticed looking effortless can also look polished. You know, if you're layering and mixing and styling, things can be a lot more versatile than you think. And you want pieces that you can reach for again and again. Think cashmere and cotton sweaters starting only $40, washable silk tops, classic denim pants, timeless styles you want to keep coming back to. I'm not exactly a fashion diva, but the clothes I have, I want to work for everything. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middlemen, Quince gives you luxury without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I got a pair of slacks from Quints that I love because they look kind of, like, dressy, but they feel like sweatpants. So I can wear them on a plane. They can kind of function as joggers or. I went to a matinee on Sunday to see a play here in Los Angeles. They were perfect for looking dressy without, like, a full jacket, going to the theater type vibe. And I was just surprised how affordable it was. I mean, for me, I don't love spending a lot of money on clothes out of drag because I spend so much money on clothes in Dragon. So I just want something that looks good and fits good. But doesn't cost a billion dollars.

[B]

Find your fall staples at quince. Go to quince.com bald for free shipping on your order in 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com bald to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com bald I have to tell you, please, Mary, the. That first. I think it was the first Runway I did the pit stop on the first. First I think it was the first episode of the. And then I. And then I hung back to like, watch the. Some of the second episode because I was just like, I got to see. I got to see more of this. That I. That look that I had one. Yes. With the flat top in. In the. The.

[C]

The.

[B]

The strip that it was. How. How did that. How. How did that come about?

[C]

I just. Me and my friend doodle up all of my costume ideas and like, we just had little doodling parties and that one was just like randomly floated out last moment. I'm just like, I don't know, like, what if the tie is a thong? What if the tie is a slingshot? And then we just kept on like, cleaning that up and going with it. And it ended up very like Tim Burton y and very like Nickelodeon and like Max Headroom kind of came in.

[B]

Was a ton of different references, but it wasn't weird. And it was. I loved it because it wasn't like, it. It seemed like it was like an amalgamation of a lot of different kind of references that was. It's very much became its own thing. Like, it was so cool. I was just like, damn, that is so fucking cool. And it was like. And it was. Had the potential to be not flattering.

[C]

Oh, absolutely.

[B]

I look cut like that hair. Not many people could get away with that hair.

[C]

I love a challenging hair. I love a challenging wig too. Absolutely. You really have to have like, face. Face for it.

[B]

And you have to have the confidence, guys.

[C]

You have to go for it. You have to go for it. And my favorite. The comments are like, is she wearing a silicone bodysuit? Like, nope, that's all me.

[B]

That.

[C]

That's.

[B]

I want to see her birth certificate. Yeah, I don't.

[C]

I don't know if I'm buying it. Like, you shouldn't.

[B]

That's fierce. That's the ultimate compliment. What about Plastique's weird ass? Not weird. It's not weird. It's just bizarre. It's not weird. It's very crazy.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

That.

[B]

That is so wild. She wears.

[C]

Oh her little corset thing.

[B]

Her? No, her, the.

[C]

The prosthetic corset thing.

[B]

The belly, the whole, whole thing.

[C]

I'm like, I know. That corset's so tired of her. Like, it's just like. It's like a cow that's just like milked dry. Average is like, mama needs some new content. We're gonna put on the corset. You're gonna pull the straights again.

[B]

It's so crazy. I cannot imagine the amount of confused boners that, that, that pop up from viewing her TikTok.

[C]

Oh, I'm sure. Cuz she's the most followed person in the world at this point. And like, it just keeps on working in the nerve of that stolen valor to like. Stolen valor. Get on hormones.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Mary, transition.

[B]

Chop your legs off.

[C]

Chop your legs off. Chop your dick off.

[B]

Pin your ears. Come on, get a nose job and make yourself ugly. Because I have no patience for her to look like the most handsome, young, clear skin, well adjusted, right?

[C]

Beautiful.

[B]

Yeah, beautiful guy. And then she does a fucking kick. She throws a shoe or whatever the fuck they do on TikTok. And then it's all like. And then it's like Marvel movie magic. And then she's like a show, like a goddess from like heaven. It's like, what the.

[C]

Pick a lane.

[B]

Pick a lane.

[C]

Fucking lane. I think Christopher Versace over in the uk, she won like season three or something. She's like, you should be sacrificing something for drag. You should look like a fucking little goblin out of drag. Or transition. Those are your two options.

[B]

Or move.

[C]

Or both.

[B]

Or, or, or just get out of my face. Absolutely. Get off social media. Stop making so much money on Tik Tok.

[C]

So mad.

[B]

No, it's.

[C]

She's so beautiful out and in drag.

[B]

I'm like, so nice.

[C]

I love it when the girls look. Look like a, like a guitar pick because they're so pumped.

[B]

Oh, baby.

[C]

And like, she like doesn't even have like super pump. She's just pushed.

[B]

You would never in a million years know that that beautiful young man is, is not third year at law school. He's just like, you know what I mean?

[C]

He's like, that's a pharmacist.

[B]

Like, what? I graduated summa cum laude from Duke. You know, full ride and then just Goddess. I hate him.

[C]

Her. Both of them. I don't believe I've ever had the.

[B]

I. I don't believe I've ever met her. Because if I do, you'd have to beat the.

[C]

Out of her. Absolutely.

[B]

It will be, it would be. Beat her with cameras, hands and these.

[C]

Shoes and those shoes and heavy shoes. Do we know what the fiance does?

[B]

Oh, there's a fiance.

[C]

There's a fiance.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Also beautiful. And I'm just like, we are hoarding the wealth there in a very serious way.

[B]

I said in a very Serial killer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's got to be some kind, there's got.

[C]

What's the catch?

[B]

There has to be a huge, huge catch. It's gotta be. I don't know. That's so, that's so frustrating. I, I, I know what you say, but the Trixie and I joke all the time about is like, you got to be a goblin on a drag. It's like drag is for goblins.

[C]

It's like the law of, like, equivalent exchange. Like, you have to be able to give something to get something if you want to be a beautiful woman. You look crazy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, Well, I, it's a lot of times it's the eyebrows.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

You know what I mean? I, I only, I shave my eyebrows for a time and marry.

[A]

Oof.

[C]

I did it for a year and I'm like, my boyfriend almost broke up with me. He's like, you can't do it. You can't do it anymore.

[B]

It is. Well, first of all, I quickly realized that eyebrows do serve a very important, important purpose. They catch sweat.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You're a sweaty gal. Yeah.

[B]

And the first time I shaved my eyebrows was for a solo show that I did not rehearse with shave eyebrows. And 10 minutes in, all the glitter eyeshadow is running down my face 10 minutes into the show and I'm like, flipping out. And so that never happened. And also, I never knew, I never, like, learned how to like, you know, draw them on in the correct place so I kind of know.

[C]

And then you look like way too cunty going to the bank. And like, it's just, it's too much.

[B]

And I'm, Yeah. During the day, I'm not a person that wants to wear makeup. I mean, this is, this is, I feel like this is as far as I'll go. But, like, I got microbladed. Yeah. Which was extraordinarily painful.

[C]

But it was like the little like, scalpel dealy on there.

[B]

They take a scalpel, they slice you, they, they jam ink in it.

[C]

They do.

[B]

And then they slice it again and then jam more like a little exacto knife. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And it's in it and it's like non stop and it goes on forever. And it hurts so bad, but it looks good. It actually, I do like it a lot, and it makes me, like, able to shave, like, almost half of them and not look like, oh, you're a nub queen.

[C]

Yes, nubs.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the most part. Yeah. And also, I don't have, like. I just tried to. I just try to, like, distract people with the mouth.

[C]

I think, like a bright red lip, you can get away with some really, really big nonsense. Also, like, I love bangs. I know some drag queens hate bangs. I love bangs.

[B]

I love bangs.

[C]

I think they're so feminine and pretty and cute.

[B]

I love bangs. I love Bang in a pony. Like, I just. I love bangs. Like, I love, like, bangs that almost go down to, like, where you don't even really need lashes. And then, yeah, it just bangs and then a big old fucking red lip.

[C]

That's all you need.

[B]

What are you wearing? What's this?

[C]

Look, the fenty. The fenty lipstick in uncensored. She's my favorite red lip. It's like a blue red, which is what I need because, like. Like a warm tone red makes me look crazy because I'm really, really pale.

[B]

I. Well, same. I do a blue red. My favorite red of all time is nars. Don't stop.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Have you ever tried it?

[C]

Is it a liquid?

[B]

It's a liquid. It's a blue red. You will love it.

[C]

Are you. Do you know about the lip lacquer moment? The Gaga, the lip lacquer?

[B]

No, I don't. What is this?

[C]

It's like. Is it lost? That dries? No, it's a gloss that dries down matte. So like.

[B]

Well, that's what this is. That's what this.

[C]

Oh, it looks like high shine.

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay, I see. So wait, wait, Nothing like that.

[B]

It's a gloss that dries but stays glossy. Yes, but. So it's not matte.

[C]

It's not matte. It looks like you have lip gloss on, but it doesn't transfer. But she just stopped making it, and I want her dead for that.

[B]

I.

[C]

Because apparently she has to. Oh, it's incredible. I think I have, like, a little bit left in my bag. I'll show you.

[B]

You have to show me because I'm on. The only thing I. I think of lip glass, that horrible shit from Mac. Do you remember lip gloss?

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's.

[C]

It's very shiny, but it comes.

[B]

Oh, and God forbid you have one piece of hair that flies into that face. It's a wrap.

[C]

Loss is only for, like, photo shoots and updos.

[B]

That's it. Yeah, yeah, photo shoot.

[C]

That's it. Photo shoot. Because, like, you can't eat. You can't really talk, and then you get, like, the little, like, wavy line. Like, what did.

[B]

On your. The first time you went on Drag Race? What was something that you spent a lot? Like, was. Was there anything that you focused on in your preparation that you found out later was totally pointless for me. I'm just gonna say it was stoning stuff.

[C]

Stoning does not matter for television. It really doesn't.

[B]

I wish somebody would have told me.

[C]

I. I tell all my friends who are auditioning, like, don't.

[B]

Don't bother.

[C]

Like a sequin sequence or like, a really, like, say something. Fabric. Yeah, that's the move.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I only had, like, three weeks to get ready my first season, and I had no money, so everything was just kind of like, let's. Let's make sure it all works.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I worked on a lot of different, like, sewing patterns because I'm not a seamstress. I, like, just wanted to make sure that I figure out how to do it. None. None. And, in fact, I hope I never have to sew again. I'm so over it. Like, I don't care. I don't want to know. I don't know. I love it when the girls do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Love it when a girl can do it. I have no desire to, and I will not.

[B]

Well, that's me with hair.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

That's. I don't.

[C]

I can have human hair. Synthetic. I'm never gonna learn.

[B]

I don't want to.

[C]

Nope.

[B]

I have no interest. I will. I will. If Fina's not around, if somebody's not around, I will go out with a loaf on my head. I. Boom. See, that's. But that's cunt, though.

[C]

Thank you. It's like a 12 wig from Amazon. A little Amazon anime wig, and you just ball it up. Absolutely. But yours is human.

[B]

It is human. And look at these roots. Aren't they convincing? I am obsessed. I have four of these at home.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I make a confession?

[C]

Please?

[B]

I put this on. I wet it. I put on a weird, sexy outfit, and I work out at home in front of the mirror.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

Sometimes I did shoes today.

[C]

That's a very American Psycho.

[B]

Such a crossy. Such a crossy. This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Chime, my dear listeners, in the land of the almost living. It is I, first of all, Schlegendeth, humble embalmer. Of this wretched parish, toiling beneath the flicker of a single gaslight, embalming the departed while my credit lies six feet under. Once I dreamt of owning the haunted house on Hollow's Hill. But the bank, crueler than any corpse, denied me. My finances decomposed faster than my clientele. Yet in the crypt of despair, I unearthed something miraculous. Chime A modern revenant of hope whispering to me from the shadows and showing me that banking can indeed be done right. Through Chime I clawed my way from the financial grail. No monthly fees. No maintenance fees, no blood draining. Overdraft charges. When I set up direct deposit, I was paid up to two days early. Oh my God. A resurrection of funds before their appointed time. 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The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the bank or bank NA or Stripe Bank NA Chime Checking account required to apply. Money added to Credit Builder will be held in your secured deposit account as collateral and as your Credit builder cards available to spend amount. This is money you can use to pay off your monthly charges out of network ATM withdrawal and OTC Advanced fees may apply. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to time.comdisclosures for details. This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Hims. Good evening gentlemen. As we are all fully aware, there are well documented horrors that lurk in the night. Creaking doors, spectral whispers and shapes in the darkness. But then there are also those horrors that don't make a sound it is these silent terrors that visit many a mortal man, one of which being erectile dysfunction. But fear not, my trembling friends. 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Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org Jack Daniels and Old Number 7 are registered trademarks. Tennessee Whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee we need.

[C]

To bring crosses back to drag race. Well crossy culture needs to come back.

[B]

So here's, here's what we have to do and you need to get. You need to co sign this and you really need to get on the ground floor because it's going to take a lot of reinforcements. Gwen, Chrissy, Beth, Diane. With two ends like like we need to get the girls in the kitchen with the selfie sticks, the brown flat hair. We need to go. We need to reset.

[C]

We need to take drag off of the stage. We need to take the stage out of people's hands. We need to bring it back to, like, doing it. Because it turns you on.

[B]

Yeah. You. If you're not chubbed on the main stage.

[C]

No.

[B]

Out of here.

[C]

Absolutely. And they're gonna check. RuPaul's gonna check for you.

[B]

Gender affirming.

[C]

Exactly. Exactly. But, like, copying it.

[B]

Like, I have been asked. I mean, I'm not. I'm not bragging, I swear to God. But, like, I have been asked over the years if I do, like, another All Star season, and I'm like, dude, no. I could never even dream of. Of. Of sourcing, even. Never mind making sourcing, an outfit that's even anywhere near the level of production or of. Of whatever you call it, the level of quality that everybody's wearing. I, I, I would get that list and kill myself.

[C]

Well, we all kind of want to do that too. Like, when we get the list, it just sucks.

[B]

How is that? What did you do? What was it like? How did you scramble? Were you anxious? Like, what was the process? Who did you call?

[C]

Everybody. The thing is, like, designers are so hard to work with right now. Like, there's so many seasons happening concurrently. So every designer is just, like, got a waiting list. Yep, waiting list. They're all just, like, tired. They're picked over. They don't want to do it anymore. So it's like, you're, like, bartering and you're begging, like, please, please. I can't, so take care of me. Yeah, it was nice for this season because we only had to work worry about, like, three runways at a time, which was fabulous.

[B]

What does that mean?

[C]

The bracket situation?

[B]

What the was this? Did you like this?

[C]

No, not really. Not really.

[B]

I. Girl, brackets. This ain't March Madness.

[C]

It was kind of nice for that reason, where I'm like, I only have to prep three runways. Yeah, that's cool. I only have to make sure that I do good for three episodes at a time. But it's so much work and so much money, and I'm like, I'm only on TV for six episodes.

[B]

I was gonna say, mama, we need to see more of Ms. Bosco.

[C]

I would love to see more.

[B]

Why? Why would you deprive the world of so much hard. Hard boners.

[C]

Absolutely. Painfully hard.

[B]

Like, boners like, like, like hanging from a. With one hand, from a cliff off. These boners. They're so hard. Like. Like sliding down the hill and then grabbing with one hand on that boner.

[C]

One finally managed hand.

[B]

Just because boss goes right there.

[C]

Absolutely. I think that's beautiful. Yeah. I think it worked out because I didn't have to do as much TV as a regular season.

[B]

My way. Oh, baby. Let's look at some pornography now.

[C]

We gotta be.

[B]

We gotta be extra descriptive for the people on the 405, the 110, and the 2. Okay.

[C]

This was.

[B]

Okay, so I don't know if. Well, we can probably. Yeah, we'll put it in post. This. I. This is when I knew you were that. This is when I knew you were that.

[C]

You sent me a message after seeing that, you're like, I'm so sorry for what you're about to see. I'm gonna get really weird here in a second, and I just want to give you a heads up. A week before the pit stop, like, aired, I'm like, oh, poor Joe. The producer is like, joe, talk to me as well.

[B]

Please shut up.

[C]

You need to see what Katya was doing on this episode.

[B]

Double fisting her boner. She was as. As every other person who was viewing it. They were stroking it had to. This is just. I love it so much because, like I said, it's just.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's so clean. It's so interesting. It's so unique. I. I can't really. It doesn't make me think of another queen I love. You know what I mean? Which is hard at this point.

[C]

It's impossible.

[B]

The only queen, I think, who could ever get away with something similar was maybe Detox.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

You know what I mean? What a great queen to be.

[B]

And she's got taste. Yeah, she's got that taste. She's got. She's got taste. And this Mary, this Elvira, was this when. When we did RuPaul say I hate you. Oh, that was with the other few times.

[C]

With the.

[B]

Marilyn. With the.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I love that. That is the ultimate.

[C]

It felt incredible. I'm like, yeah. And then I'm gonna, like, rub your face in it. Thanks, dad. Like, I. Jesus. She's. I'm. I love Rue. I love. I think she's so cool. I think she's so cool.

[B]

She really is. And her. We were talking. Me and Bob were talking or I don't know when. We were talking about her Instagram earlier. My God. Have you been. Have you been catching up with Rue's Instagram?

[C]

Oh, her, like, video content. She's incredible.

[B]

She's having a Renaissance.

[C]

How is she so good at so many things?

[B]

I think she's sober, that's how.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And extraordinarily wealthy.

[C]

Yeah, very, very wealthy, Very talented.

[B]

Oh, this one. How the tits and slits. This.

[C]

By the way, when I saw that Runway, I'm like, well, I think I got this one. Oh, no, what am I gonna do?

[B]

I would have. That's when I would have took the gun and I would have killed myself. This was so. And again, it's like, so how did you come up with that? What was the thought process? Was this the first, like, walk me through it.

[C]

Absolutely, absolutely. I. I like having, like, a little like. Of, like, weirdness and, like, horror to the, like, touch of things. So, like, I wanted something zipper esque. Like, that feels slits to me. An unexpected way to go with it. And then I really wanted to do something that was like Birth of Venus. The, like, Mugler Venus dress.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay. And this is kind of where we ended up going. We're like, wait, what if we take it into a different color? What if it's like a motocross jacket? What are the different details that we can do to, like, take it to a place that we haven't seen yet? Yeah, because unfortunately, Plastique had just done her version of the same silhouette. The moment I, like, got to studio with this, like, her episode aired of her wearing it too, she was just wearing a white.

[B]

Just a full pearl white thing.

[C]

Beautiful. Incredible. It was. It was a. It was essentially the same silhouette but in white and covered in pearls. It was gorgeous. Her. Mine was better.

[B]

This is the last thing I'll say about Plastique is that every time when I saw her get on the Runway, I was like, why doesn't it. Everybody just quit?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why does it. Why does everybody.

[C]

Why does everybody have more money?

[B]

Why does anybody have a job? Why is anybody still breathing when she walks out of the Runway? I was like, you're.

[C]

You're kidding me.

[B]

She's doing a different show.

[C]

She was.

[B]

She was on a different program. I don't know. And it's no shade to other girls.

[C]

It's just she used to have, like, movie budget, Marvel. Marvel budget behind her Runway.

[B]

The Plastique cinematic universe was on the Runway.

[C]

And then she did like, all, like, the video content of the looks where it's like full cgi.

[B]

She was the reason why Cameron directs her to.

[C]

She was the reason why I'm like, I'm not gonna do a fucking shoot of any nature for these things. Like, what am I gonna do? There's no competing with.

[B]

Also. Also. I. I get. I am so tickled by all the effort people do. Mama. There's HD screen grabs on the show. I'm not gonna do it on my Instagram. Just look at the show.

[C]

Exactly. And like, you know they're doing full on the video of what you just saw. So I'm gonna post that again.

[B]

Enjoy.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's in hd. You could just screen grab it. I got a big tv. Okay. But this was so kind. And again, it's like. I just love that it's not. It's got such a point of view. It's like, it's unique. It's like, it's a little bit grotesque. It's also super sexy. It's kind.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Who the is this?

[C]

Her name is Lauren. She.

[B]

Lauren.

[C]

Lauren.

[B]

Another good name. Lauren Desire with a Y. Yeah.

[C]

She was my makeover partner. She's also 6, 7, so I felt so. Yeah. You're like, I'm just a little girl.

[B]

I'm just trying to get into high school.

[C]

This one.

[B]

Now controversial is going on here. Full disclosure, I may have not. I may not have caught every single second of the.

[C]

Of the.

[B]

Of the season.

[C]

What? That's so shocking. I got you the Die Hard. I know you've seen every single episode.

[B]

Are you kidding?

[C]

You're doing like the recap. I run the trivia night at Tie Tops. So you were really, really dialed in.

[B]

What in the mother you like. Please explain yourself.

[C]

No, I won't.

[B]

Your honor. Exhibit A.

[C]

You gotta. So the. The task was to come out in a suit and ended in a dress. And that's what I did. I love it. I don't care. You can't tell me. I'm tired of having to do sexy every single time.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So we got weird. Okay. And I think that's acceptable and allowed. And the shoes you can't really see in that picture were incredible. And you know what happened when I walked out?

[B]

What happened?

[C]

Michelle said, I love it, so I don't need anything from anybody else.

[B]

You know why? Because it was different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she really. You will walk out with your titties out on the first episode. She'd be like, what else do you have? Yeah.

[C]

Like, show me something else.

[B]

It's so funny. I'm gonna be honest with you.

[C]

I know you don't like it. I can tell.

[B]

I hate it.

[C]

Perfect.

[B]

And I'm only gonna say that because the. Everything else about you is perfect. So I'm glad to see the vulnerability.

[C]

Absolutely. We have to keep it relatable, we have to keep it. There has to be highs and lows.

[B]

With a mushroom thing on her head. And. And now. See, now we're back.

[C]

Now we're back.

[B]

Okay, we're porn.

[C]

We're so bad.

[B]

Let's get the stroke and lotion out again.

[C]

So this is the only one. I'm sexy. Girls can't be weird anymore. Girls can't be fucking freaky. I know.

[B]

You can't just. They want to paint you in a box. They just stroke it.

[C]

No one stroke it. They want to stroke the box.

[B]

Yeah. So this was promo now. God, it's so funny to look back about our promos. Both of my promos were the worst promos ever on the history of the show. And I.

[C]

Your part is not just like that.

[B]

No, no, but my. Yes, me. And also the, the. The shoot, the vibe, the whole concept.

[C]

Like doll stars too.

[B]

Mary, first of all, we never had a promo. We never had a promo.

[C]

There was no commercial then.

[B]

I was wearing some. The promo was like royalty. Queens. I was wearing some Boo Boo fucking.

[C]

You want to know what my promo was? Orange. That was my prompt. Honey, I think royalty sounds cool.

[B]

Yeah, it's sounds cool when you have. When you'd have a commercial. We didn't have a commercial. This is orange.

[C]

I remember people like pawing at the crown. I remember like little close ups. I remember a video commercial.

[B]

They were gifts, mama. Those were gifts. Okay, I don't. We didn't get. We didn't. They went from season. Well, season seven was a flop, but they went from season six again. Marvel Cinematic Universe. James Cameron came in, directed that promo.

[C]

Still probably the best promo of all time.

[B]

Panthers. I mean, it was. Everybody was so cunt. So well lit. You couldn't tell who was a booger. No, everybody looked flawless. And everybody had their own, like, little tableau, their little setup.

[C]

Oh, Bianca's. Yeah.

[B]

Courtney and Darian with the.

[C]

With the jack.

[B]

Jackhammers. Laganja behind the blinds. It was like cunt. So cunt.

[C]

And then you got American Apparel for Baby Baby. They're like, just wear your best denim, girls. You have a white. We got the cut off shirt.

[B]

They literally said this. So the.

[C]

The, like, this is probably going to be the last season. Based on what? Just what we just.

[B]

Peak. I think we probably probably cut her last. No, I remember talking with the marketing people and the stylists and all this shit before we got there. Like. Yeah, so we're going to do like this really like Terry Richardson, like Polaroid and Then my eyes started to glaze over, and I started to grab the razor, just slit my wrist. I was. It was like, oh, okay, yeah, Flat white Polaroid drag. Definitely, definitely.

[C]

That's what I get into.

[B]

That's definitely gonna.

[C]

There's like, an outlet still on the wall next to your picture. They haven't fucking, like, airbrushed that out.

[B]

Was.

[C]

It.

[B]

Was. It had the potential. Like, the commercial itself for season seven was cunty. The concept, the execution. Rue had the nerve to look incredible.

[C]

She really did.

[B]

She looked that side pony and the legs and the. The. The slash dress. She looked cunt. We all looked like the cat's ass.

[C]

It was really nice to follow up season six's promo with that. Wherever you can, like, you can't tell who's bad at drag. And I couldn't tell who was gonna do a good job.

[B]

Trixie did have one line. Trixie. And Kennedy did not say one word in the whole promo. I think Trixie did this and then. And Kennedy did, like, this, like, or something. I don't know. It was. It was. It was horrendous. And then All Stars 2 was another slap in the face because we didn't know at the time that it was going to be. I. I mean, I. I think All Stars 2 is so kind, but. But we didn't know that because All Stars 1 was so bad.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You know, and, like, so we didn't really know what we were getting into. We thought we're gonna do teams and all that crap, and. But it ended up turning out great. But, like, this is a promo.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

This is a fucking promo. And this is to make orange feathers work.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why don't you work for the un? Why aren't you, like, in Syria right now?

[C]

I'm gonna, like, so start brokering peace in the Middle East.

[B]

Seriously, why aren't you in Lebanon right now? Like, quelling problems?

[C]

Seriously.

[B]

Oh, this was the look for the people in the 405. I'm so sorry. You'll just have to pull over and look at the image. This was when she said, I hate you.

[C]

She sure did.

[B]

And that. Oh, I just. I just love this look so much. That hair.

[C]

Morgan McMichael's husband, Hassan. Best hair, really? Hair, really? He did the majority of my hair for the season.

[B]

Get out of here.

[C]

So good synthetic. Yes. Yeah, Absolutely.

[B]

Love a loaf because, I mean, you could just spray it and forget it in the.

[C]

I love hair that looks like hair. I'm tired of the Hot Wheels hair. I don't want to See, like the like encrusted little, like tracks that the Hot Wheels can be on. I don't need it anymore. I need hair that looks like hair.

[B]

So I'm that way too. Like, I want to look like a girl.

[C]

Call me old fashioned.

[B]

Call me old fashioned, but in my day, Hot Wheel, Easter egg crap.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Putting foots in your mouth, Nina West. No, like, I would. I. I know, I agree. Like, I, I just love, like, I, I just like looking like a girl.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Or a woman at 43.

[C]

No, just a little girl. You're weird about it. It's fine.

[B]

No, I really. But I really feel like. I really feel like a girl when I'm in drag and I'm like, how.

[C]

Old is the little girl that you feel like?

[B]

No, not little, like, but I feel like. I feel like a 30 year old girl.

[C]

Okay. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, like I'm doing my post back in France or something. I took some years off.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You know what I mean? I'm doing something. I'm in grad school. So. Talk to me about this burlesque number. Talk to me about. Did you fucking lip sync against Ginger?

[C]

I did lip sync against Ginger.

[B]

To fucking Pink. Love pink.

[C]

See, I said that. And they didn't keep it in the.

[B]

The Pink industrial complex is large.

[C]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Big Pink. Big, big RuPaul is in the pockets of Big Pink right now.

[B]

She's in the clutches of Big Pink. We need her to Big brown. But she won't do it.

[C]

Nope, Nope. Not anymore. Not anymore.

[B]

I stand that song.

[C]

I hate that song. Mama.

[B]

It's a bar song.

[C]

It's a state fair song. It's like that is the song that's playing Zipper.

[B]

Yes. And also when they're given the blue. The blue ribbon to the biggest pig in the. In the.

[C]

Absolutely. There's. The pregnant cow is giving birth and they have to alert the entire state fair glass.

[B]

Raise your glass of moonshine, you fucking hicks.

[C]

I can't stand that song. Such. And it was so funny in that moment because they do the whole like, little raffle thing of, like, we get to find out who's going to pick the bomb. Like, the moment they say ginger, they barely. She barely lets them finish saying ginger. What song? Pink. Like, yeah, yeah, of course it is.

[B]

So you lost?

[C]

I sure did. I sure did.

[B]

But you know what, though?

[C]

So did I.

[B]

And guess what?

[C]

It thinks it seems to be working pretty well for you. It's. It's always.

[B]

I'd rather, I'd rather have 100 people say you were robbed. Than then I don't know what you shouldn't have won. Yeah, I mean, I don't think they tell. I don't think.

[C]

I don't. I've seen a few people tell.

[B]

I hate. I.

[C]

It did.

[B]

I have heard and I have witnessed and I've been told that way back in the day, like Alaska got some really rude stuff. And it made me so mad because she absolutely killed All Stars too. Like, like there's no doubt. Truly, there's no doubt. She fucking, she took, she shot, she took, she took off her diaper. She spread those fucking bony cheeks and she shat on that whole season. She killed it. And so like to say that like she robbed anybody. Girl, get over yourself. Get a. Like, you can like someone more than.

[C]

Another person be like, upset that you're like, horse in the race, didn't win.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But you can be like, oh, well, that horse who did well at every single thing that was put in front of them doesn't deserve the crown.

[B]

Yeah, girl.

[A]

Or.

[B]

But the, the girl with the cross eyed. The cross eyed girl with the nice heart.

[C]

She should. She doesn't. Horse has a good heart.

[B]

You know the one with the bum leg in the. In the mange.

[C]

Just like one hoof in the glue factory.

[B]

Like, it's not America's next nice superstar drag. Whatever, you know, it's like, whatever. So, yeah. I mean, do people. Do you get that in the meaning group? First of all, do you like doing meaning greets? No. Bosco will be appearing tonight. And you don't?

[C]

I sure don't. Sure don't.

[B]

You don't like. You don't like meeting and greeting the legions of your adoring fans, the ones who are stroking it to you behind their television?

[C]

No. I feel like such a dick wad because I'm just like, no. It's weird.

[B]

It's weird.

[C]

I love meeting people and I love being able to like, take in all of the compliments and gifts that people want to give me. It's all great. I just also, I'm not like a people person where being around people gives me energy. I'm not like a person that that, like, that kind of charges me. I charge myself by being alone.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And like being by myself. So I have to like, pour into other people. And so a meet and greet just feels like I'm pouring a lot. And they deserve it and they should have that because they are really, really fabulous and nice people and they really like me and they're very excited and they're Paying money and they're paying money. So like you gotta. I prefer being on stage, but I think a meet and greet is also something that is in my contract. So I will be doing.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, it's, but I agree. It's, it's such a weird, it's such a strange, stupid thing to complain about.

[C]

It's the worst complaint about like o. I don't want to stand around for an hour and get compliments and money.

[B]

Like people have to give me gifts to tell me I'm their favorite person in the world.

[C]

What? Like, no, but like tell my boyfriend, he's like, I work in oncology. Like I dealt with like five people who are dying this week. I'm a pediatric oncologist. So it sounds like I have it a lot worse than you, huh, babe?

[B]

Yeah, I work in a mine.

[A]

You.

[C]

Exactly. I have black lung.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it is. I, there was a point where actually I liked doing the meet and greet more than the show.

[C]

Okay, tell me about this.

[B]

Well, because I like I, I use drag race to come out of my show. Like I was like very, very much an introvert. Shy, like it didn't afraid of everybody. But then like, you know, it's always funny. I mean, when people say like.

[C]

Don'T.

[B]

Care about what anybody else thinks of you.

[C]

I think, what planet are they on?

[B]

I think they're on planet Sociopath.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

You know what I mean? I, I, I, you shouldn't like get hung up on, on everything. Like on comments or whatever from people you've never met. But like, like what people think of you is quite important actually.

[C]

Also when you're a public facing person and like you're the other people's opinion of you is the reason why you get to work, you kind of have to care a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit.

[B]

I mean sometimes people get crazy and they, and they, and they sling out of nowhere. They don't know you. It's like a vendetta, whatever. But like, I mean, I remember I followed Trixie around on a, the country for like a while and every, every show director would be like, what's wrong with your sister? Because she was like, because she was not like, she wasn't super warm. Like I'm, I'm like the opposite. I'm like, you know, like, and very, very warm. But like, she just like kind of, she just gets, She's a dude. Yeah, she's just a dude. She's like, hey, what's up? And she just Treats everybody like they're the same. It's not a. But she's just not like, effusively warm and all this crap.

[C]

So it's.

[B]

That's just funny to me. What is the worst show you've ever done? Ooh, Post drag race.

[C]

Post drag race. There is a nightclub that is not too far away from here where the guy will ask you to just do a gig. And then you come in, you're finding that you're hosting the competition night, and there's an entire script that you have to follow and do. This guy is also some sort of like, undetermined age, just roided out of his brain. Gives you like a little, like, locker room to change in, and also refers to you as he while you're in drag the entire night. And I did that gig once on my first year, the first lap that I did. And it is the only time that I've ever said, do not book me there ever again. Because not only are you doing the scripted thing, if he doesn't like how you're doing it, he'll just. Voice of over.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. We are going to.

[C]

Can't.

[B]

We are going to. We are going to bleep that. But, baby, do.

[C]

Oh, my God. Do I know who you are talking about? The worst gig in the world, baby.

[B]

Let me tell you, honey. And if you don't have breakfast with him the next day, one day, One day. I decided not, because it's not that far away from here.

[C]

Fame changed you, of course. Famous change.

[B]

I mean, I'm on stir now. Yeah, yeah. No, I decided not to get put up at the hotel and. Which meant that I was not at his beck and call for hanging out. I was running. I was running 10 minutes late to the show. Oh, you better believe he started the show without me.

[C]

No, he did not.

[B]

And then, and then the one one.

[C]

With your face on the poster.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And then got on the mic and said, katya will be meeting every single person tonight free of charge. No. And then I. Then I was trapped doing a meet and greet for about 450 fucking people till 3 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. His guts.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like not. I don't, I don't think he's a good person.

[B]

He's crazy.

[C]

He is crazy. Maybe like judge his morality because he is just insane. No, that was also anybody who refers to their drag queens as he when they're in Dragon, that is my red flag.

[B]

No, that's, that's. And that's intentional because when you work with drag queens as much as that person does. That is a dig.

[C]

It feels like it. Yeah. Unless. Although there's something like Vegas, for whatever reason, is very. About female illusion. So sometimes. Oh, like, the older girls will be.

[B]

Like, Rick Marino or not. Is it that his name?

[C]

Yeah. Chad Michaels.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It's a thing. Kenny Kerr. Like, it was very, like. That is kind of like an old fashioned way of doing it because, like, they are boys, and you need to acknowledge them as boys when they're not on stage, because this is their craft. But that is obviously not what I'm going for.

[B]

And not which there is nobody. Anybody with half an eye. Half an eye and a little bit of gray matter up in their head would. Would see you and be like, puss.

[C]

Well, this. This was also before some surges. So this. There was a lot more jawline in that. In that moment in time was their lipstick.

[B]

Were their lashes with their wigs and jewelry. Get a grip.

[C]

It is. It is the one time I'm like, you can't have me back there.

[B]

Let's do some rapid fire. We are gonna film a porn later, so we'll just.

[C]

Okay, perfect. Shoes stay on.

[B]

I'm greased. I got the shoes. Let's see. Here we go. Okay. Bosco.

[C]

Yes, Go.

[B]

I did also tweet out some. If you want to take a peek at my Twitter, they're probably. I. I glance at them outside. They're all horrible.

[C]

They're. They're always weird. Like, how it's like, can you be my mom?

[B]

Can you be my mom? How do you do it?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, first of all. So, Bosco.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

How dare you?

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay. That was the first question. Okay.

[C]

Okay. Is there. Can I answer that, please? I have to.

[B]

It's a moral imperative.

[C]

Absolutely. It's my job.

[B]

I can't not. What were your initial thoughts on the tournament twist on All Stars?

[C]

Oh, I enjoyed the lack of resources that it would take to do three episodes rather than an entire season at a time. Sports are really confusing to me, so I had to, like, see it in order to understand it. It ended up being fine.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I think we. We already covered this a little bit. Do you think we should bring back Mall Drag? Yes. Yes. We need a reset.

[C]

Absolutely. Oh, can I tell you something that Nicole Paige Brooks said that changed my life?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are you calling her a mall drag artist?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[C]

You've seen. We have eyes. I have eyes that can see and a heart that can feel. That's exactly what I'M calling her and she's one of the coolest people I've ever met. Yes. I was sitting next to her in a bus. We were doing press. Irene was sitting next to me. And Irene's partner was there all dressed up. She looks over at Irene's partner. You look good tonight. All my sissies are getting whammed up tonight too.

[B]

Wham.

[C]

Whammed up tonight.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[C]

So I wake up in out of a dead sleep every morning. I'm getting whammed up today and like, it's changed everything for me.

[B]

Whammed up. Lauren desires getting whammed up. She's put on her mother of pearl toe bucket.

[C]

You wanna taste this tape? Resi.

[B]

She's got that extra long selfie stick in the kitchen and she's whammed.

[C]

Oh, call me George Michaels. Cause I fucking whammed. Oh, the whispers, they're careless.

[A]

Oh my.

[B]

But you gotta have faith.

[C]

But you gotta have faith. Okay, all right.

[B]

All right. Do you still find, okay. Do you still find being attracted to twinks a character fly?

[C]

Yes, yes, I sure do. I think twinks are a blight among like on humanity.

[B]

They need to be stopped.

[C]

There is always a better option. There is always a better option. I, for one, not even the twinks want the twinks read the room. The twinks aren't each other. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you. They're waiting. They're waiting until they could be boyfriend twins. I, I. Doppel bangers. Doppelgangers.

[C]

Doppelgangers.

[B]

Wham it up. Okay, I, I have always loathed the term twink. I don't care for these stupid characterizations of gay play bears, all that crap. But like twink, that word to me is disgusting. Like, it just, it's not something that inspires sexual feelings to me.

[C]

No. And like, I feel like twinks also have to like pick a lane at a certain, like you either like die a twink or live long enough to see yourself transition or whatever Batman said.

[B]

I mean.

[C]

Yeah. And like, you just have to like, like what? Where are we going with this?

[B]

I know. Ask Courtney act. She's.

[C]

What are we doing?

[B]

She's. It's twink to twunk. Now pick something else. Mary, you're 43.

[C]

She is really buff though, which I think is a good route.

[B]

She's buff and also she has perfect skin and she's got that good turkey.

[C]

Hairline just machine punched.

[B]

But she does. I mean, she's the, I'm the bizarro version of her. I made all the Wario.

[C]

Her tether.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just the evil version of her. I made all the wrong decisions, she made all the right ones.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. I. No, no. We're twins, but I'm the dark one.

[C]

Like, in us, when it's the tether, like, she's raised in the light of Australia, and you were raised in the darkness.

[B]

It's like the Wario or whatever. The bizarro version of Superman, whatever the fuck it is. What's it like to be brave?

[C]

Kind of overwhelming, but, like, somebody has.

[B]

To do it, and you do.

[C]

And, like, I feel like. And there's an obligation.

[B]

Yeah. And you do it with grace and aplomb.

[C]

Duh. Okay.

[B]

What's your current vocal stem, if you have any.

[C]

Oh, getting whammed up tonight. Absolutely. We're getting whammed up tonight at every moment. And the other, like, nugget that she left me with is like, we were talking about blowjobs. She's like, you want to taste this tape resi. Short for tape residue. So.

[B]

Blowing chunks on the 405. All of our listeners.

[C]

Oh, yes. You said bring back Maldrag, and she is. You need to take the good with the bad.

[B]

I don't think Lauren Desire is taping up her. Her thing.

[C]

She's. No, she's letting it.

[B]

She's got, like, Fruit of the Loom underpants underneath that. That little sundress.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

What is the worst humiliation ritual? Doing Snatch Game or lip syncing to Pocketbook Book featuring Ludacris by Jennifer Hudson? Oof.

[C]

Oof.

[B]

The thing is, what'd you do for Snack Game?

[C]

I did Kenny Kerr, who is, like, a Vegas impersonator. So I just used it as, like, a way to do four different bad impersonations because I can't really do any of them. I hate. I hate it. It's.

[B]

It's terrible. It's very difficult, Mary. They just need to let it go.

[C]

They sure do. They sure do. Not even the girls who are, like, good at it can, like, do it in a way that people want to see anymore because all the good characters have been done, and nobody does impersonations in their acts anymore. So we're just learning it for one particular moment of television.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And it just is not interesting. And RuPaul hates it. RuPaul hates doing it.

[B]

And also, like, I am sick and tired of seeing drag queens fail when there are so many other ways that they can succeed on that show.

[C]

And, like, they're so talented. Why are we having them do the Thing that, like, nobody is particularly.

[B]

Nobody's an improv. Nobody is an improv expert and an illusionist on Drag Race anymore.

[C]

No, because, like, celebrity illusion is no longer. It's not a thing that, like, people do for their money.

[B]

No, it's a very few. I mean, it's a. It's an extremely honed comedic skill that takes years and years and years. To improv like that on the spot in a character is so hard.

[C]

Like, improv alone. I'm pretty good at improv. I can improv as myself.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

That's fine.

[B]

And even that is stressful, though.

[C]

Absolutely. And sometimes that backfires, let alone doing a silly voice. The Snatch Game sucks. I have no business doing a song where the lyrics are, I'm going to hit you with. With my pocketbook. And then I don't understand why we had two white ladies from the northwest doing that song either. Well, so we all. We all suffered the consequences for that choice.

[B]

Drag Race. Girls do love a black scent, I'll tell you that much.

[C]

They sure do.

[B]

Okay, a question from my lesbian producer. What are the names of your cats?

[C]

Oh, Tegan and Sarah. No, I'm just kidding. Katie and Ellen. Katie and Ellen. Portia and Ellen.

[B]

Katie and Melissa.

[C]

Toby and Tito. Toby and Tito. My little boys.

[B]

And do you think being raised Catholic caused you to convert to being trans?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The Pope. My childhood pastor was also found in possession of child pornography. Oh, yes. And I was an altar boy. Oh, you're jumping ahead. But no, his name was Father Lou. Just called him Daddy.

[B]

Father Lewd.

[C]

Father Lou. Father Lud is kind of fun, though.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

But, yeah, nothing ever happened there. And I think that's where the self esteem issues started, so that's kind of where we all ended up.

[B]

Well, I mean, if you grew up Catholic. I grew up Catholic, and I'm still trying to unpack body stuff. You clearly have. I think I feel that you have. You've got that on lock.

[C]

Absolutely. We're figuring it out.

[B]

Shame in that game.

[C]

I don't know. I had to go to private school. Had to go to church like, like, twice a week.

[B]

Horrible.

[C]

For years and years and years. And I was, like, pretty atheist by the time I was like, 12 or 13. So, like, we've already kind of done that whole song and dance, like. Yeah. Still impacts things. We still have all that guilt hanging out there. Not doing much, but.

[B]

Were you confirmed?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

What was your confirmation name, if you don't mind my asking?

[C]

I literally don't even remember.

[B]

Fierce. I. I resisted It. I was a Satanist at that point.

[C]

Sickening.

[B]

And my brother and sister both yielded. I was unyielding as the only thing, the only bratty part of my childhood that I'm actually proud of because I was like. Like, God, what are you talking about?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it might make any. Couldn't answer the question. You know what I mean? And I was like, oh, I guess I'm right. And it was, like, so sanctimonious. What made you move to Seattle to.

[C]

Not be in Montana, primarily?

[B]

Jesus.

[C]

I know Montana's rough.

[B]

Montana is not the. The cultural hub of the.

[C]

No. It's not the Mecca of the west, by any means.

[B]

Or. Or a lovely paradise for trans folks.

[C]

No, no, not particularly. Actually. I really needed to get out of Montana. I wanted to see. I had some cousins in Seattle. I was originally gonna use Seattle as, like, a jumping off point and, like, see if I wanted to do LA or New York, and then just fell in love with Seattle.

[B]

It's beautiful.

[C]

It's my favorite city. I've seen so many at this point. It still is at the top.

[B]

Also, it's close to Vancouver, which is lovely.

[C]

Also. Lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

We are gonna wrap it up. I want to ask you one last thing, please. What is a sound that you love? A sound that I love?

[C]

Ooh, I like this.

[B]

Jewelry jangles.

[C]

I love it. I love the sound of bangles.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I love a bangle.

[B]

This is really good for me. Okay.

[C]

How do you feel about that?

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Okay, great.

[B]

What is the sound that you hate?

[C]

Oh, I don't know if I hate it, but it's always. It's the sound of a girl taking her wig off, and it's like, that's the sound of womanhood. When they were, like, taking the lace. Exactly. When you hear the toupee tape just, like, giving. You're like, oh, yeah. Lauren desires, Laura desires. And her, like, Velcro hairline machine punched.

[B]

What is your favorite curse word?

[C]

Oh, it's not. It. Pretty boring, but, like, probably can't. That's. That's a really good one. It just has, like, a lot of oomph.

[B]

Okay, last question. If heaven exists, what would you like God to say to you as you arrive at the pearly gates?

[C]

Amy Winehouse is over there. Go say hi. Okay.

[B]

Thank you so much, boss.

[A]

Go.

[C]

High five.

[B]

Oh, this was so wonderful. You remain, I think I could say with total confidence, no shade to our previous guests, that you are the sexiest, most beautiful guest to our. On our show to date.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

Everybody else. Your dogs.

[C]

Your dogs. Oh, my God. I just have to say, out of all the opportunities I've had, this is by far the most recent. And I just want to thank you so much.

[B]

Consider that stolen.

[C]

Oh, bitch. That's how I do. That's my fucking club thing. I say that every club and it. This was by far the most recent. Oh, I really go in for it. Oh, I love.

[B]

I live.

[A]

I love.

[C]

I love the other one. Dina Montina has one that I stole. That's so fucking funny. It's. I know that there's a lot going on in the world right now, and there's a lot of things that keep me up late at night, and I just want to share something with all of you that's giving me a lot of strength, and that is that I have merchandise available to purchase on my [e-mail]. she did it with her album, but like at I.

[B]

The wock. The rose. The best Dr.

[C]

The literally just like a single stanza of the rose.

[B]

Memoirs of the Thyroid or something. Or. Or something. And the. That was the best drag performance that's ever been done. I swear to God.

[C]

Brilliant.

[B]

Yeah, brilliant.

[C]

Have you seen her on Christmas show?

[B]

I've. I did, yes. I've never seen her live, though. I'm dying to. But if you Google Dina, Martina Wigstock, the rose and your life will change forever.

[C]

It absolutely.

[B]

All right, thank you.

[C]

Bye bye. Bye.

[B]

Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual insurance company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. This Friday. I'm an angel. See the wings. Don't miss the new comedy Good Fortune, starring Seth Rogen, Aziz Ansari and Keanu Reeves. Critics rave. It's Evan scent.

[C]

Let me have a budget. Guardian angel, kinda.

[B]

You were very unhelpful. Good Fortune directed by Aziz Ansari. Rated R.