Santa Xavier Claus (2:08)

The sweet, and everything in between.

Bob the Drag Queen (2:10)

Plus, they come with shells or no shells for your snacking pleasure. I'm a no shells person. I can't have anything get in the way of me eating. I've got lashes to glue on, I got wigs to fluff, but if you like cracking them. I want you to live your nutcracking truth, honey.

Katya Zamolodchikova (2:23)

Whether I'm backstage on the road, or hiding in a wig closet with a.

Santa Xavier Claus (2:26)

Bag in hand, wonderful pistachios are my go to. I love the flavor of them.

Bob the Drag Queen (2:31)

I love them now.

Santa Xavier Claus (2:32)

Yeah, I love. I love them, too.

Bob the Drag Queen (2:33)

And when I'm in drag, I can't always sit and eat a whole meal. But sometimes I just need a little something.

Santa Xavier Claus (2:38)

A little. A little nut.

Bob the Drag Queen (2:39)

And if I have a healthy option, I'm a lot more likely to eat that. Yeah. So don't hold back, dear listeners. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like the stunning diva you are.

Santa Xavier Claus (2:48)

Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

Bob the Drag Queen (2:52)

Again, that's wonderful pistachios.com to Learn more. Take it from us. We know our way around a bag of nuts.

Marshall's Advertiser (2:59)

Marshall's buyers are hustling hard to get amazing new gifts into stores right up to the last minute. Like a designer perfume for that friend who never RSVP'd. Wish list topping toys for her kids who came too. Belgian chocolates for the neighbor. A cozy scarf for your boss, and a wool jacket for your husband that you definitely did not. Almost forget Marshalls. We get the deals, you give the good stuff. Even at the last minute.

Katya Zamolodchikova (3:25)

Phew.

Marshall's Advertiser (3:26)

Find a Marshall's near you.

Bob the Drag Queen (3:34)

I'm trying to be less poorly dressed. I sat down the other day and I made a Pinterest board of what kind of outfits I look the best in and what you would call that personal style and how I should spend the next few months really trying to pick a lane.

Katya Zamolodchikova (3:51)

Which lane is this exactly?

Bob the Drag Queen (3:53)

I've gone full circle. I am country trash. And I think with my bone structure and everything that looks best on me. I do.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:01)

I don't like this negative self talk.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:03)

I don't think it's negative. I mean, like, what do you call it?

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:05)

Country trash.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:06)

Rustic Americana.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:07)

Yes.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:09)

Like canvas down home, country living denim. That's what looks best on my face. My everything. So that's still Magnolias. Stolen Magnolias.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:19)

We have to talk about.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:22)

What I said before we walked in.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:23)

No, no, no, no, no. He didn't get out of the cockadoody car.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:27)

Oh, my God. Instead of us. People have been begging us to do, like, a movie club, and instead we've pivoted to book club.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:35)

That book.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:36)

You want to say what it is? Misery.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:38)

Misery. Got my pussy in a knot.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:40)

It's amazing.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:41)

Kicked it down the stairs. Spoiler.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:43)

Big time.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:44)

Spoiler alert. People who have seen the movie.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:46)

The movie's amazing.

Katya Zamolodchikova (4:47)

Movie's great. Annie Wilkes, Kathy Bates, Oscar winning. Oscar winning performance, Best supporting actress. But the book, right, Mama, the hobbling.

Bob the Drag Queen (4:57)

In the book, the horny is coming from inside the house.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:01)

She takes. Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. So in the movie takes an.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:05)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:06)

Sledgehammer.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:07)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:07)

She puts a block of wood between his ankles, and then she whacks it with a sledgehammer to break his ankles.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:13)

Because she finds out he was out of his room. Yes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:15)

You know, her little penguin is always facing due south. So in the book, Mama, she takes an ax to the fucking foot. And it doesn't happen once. It goes wham. And then. Wham. And then she gets that last little piece of gristle.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:31)

Wham.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:32)

And then a blow torch to cauterize the wound, baby.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:35)

In the book, she takes the foot off. He only takes one foot off. She takes one foot off.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:40)

Oh.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:40)

But he also.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:41)

She also takes the thumb with an electric knife.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:44)

She.

Santa Xavier Claus (5:45)

In the book.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:46)

In the book, it's longer, obviously. So figuring out how crazy she is is much slower and much scarier.

Katya Zamolodchikova (5:53)

But, you know, she's crazier from. You know, she's cuckoo from the jump. Cause it gets right into it.

Bob the Drag Queen (5:58)

Also, the ending, he kind of is like seeing her forever. And then in the end, you're like, is it her? Is he just seeing her?

Katya Zamolodchikova (6:04)

But also, when that. Okay, so fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. You know the fight scene in the end with that, you know, stuff in the charred manuscript into her mouth in the book. Oh, it's much longer and much cuntier.

Bob the Drag Queen (6:19)

Oh, they really go out to the death.

Katya Zamolodchikova (6:21)

It's so I read in two days.

Bob the Drag Queen (6:24)

And honestly, similar to the Shining, what you miss in the book, the feeling of isolation, the feeling of you are fucked.

Santa Xavier Claus (6:32)

Yeah.

Bob the Drag Queen (6:32)

No one can hear you. No one will find you. And he's there longer. It feels like in the book, he's there longer. Kind of like in the Hunger Games. She's in the Hunger Games. There's like a whole two weeks. They don't show where she almost starves. They don't have each other.

Katya Zamolodchikova (6:44)

So they're in the Hunger Games.

Santa Xavier Claus (6:45)

Is that why it's called Hunger?

Bob the Drag Queen (6:46)

Well, they're kind of like me, where they're eating always and still hungry. Because, you know, I like my two breakfasts, my two lunches, my three dinners, and then my sweet treat, which is a Popsicle up my butt and in my mouth at the same time. And then do you know what my big ass is?

Katya Zamolodchikova (6:59)

But you got that stoma that it just comes right out.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:01)

I sleep to this st. Girl. I.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:03)

Wait, wait, wait, wait one second.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:07)

Hello?

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:08)

Okay, I have to tell the people what transpired upon my arrival here. So I'm sitting out there, just minding my own business, feeling great, loving my life, feeling grateful, and then Miss Thing walks in and she says, oh, hi, ugly. Do you want some makeup? That's not what I said. No, no, no.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:26)

What I meant was I'm using the makeup station. I meant, do you need the station?

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:31)

You're like, no, you need the station.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:33)

Can I tell you the truth? That's not what I meant at all. No, I meant, do you want me to put makeup on for you? I know, I know.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:38)

Cause I don't know how to do it.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:38)

I know. I was trying to help.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:40)

You did.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:41)

I'm just trying to help. I don't know. Clap, I think. Do you think my color on her? I don't know if my color exactly matches her, but she.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:46)

But it's better than whatever the gray white underneath was. The gray white and red.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:50)

But with the hair, if you're going to go lemon yellow with the. With the skin, with the. With the tanning, you get more red.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:55)

Lemon yellow.

Bob the Drag Queen (7:56)

And so this is toned.

Katya Zamolodchikova (7:59)

Did you use mustard Toned with gray Poupon.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:04)

I think you look really good. You look like. What is it? Trey Parker and.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:08)

No, I look like the guy from Lawnmower Man. Oh, I'll take that.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:13)

Oh. Oh. It's almost too rich. Almost too sweet.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:17)

What about the Lawnmower Man? You know, I saw that in the theater.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:20)

The. The. I've only seen it once.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:22)

It's not that great.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:23)

It's not that great. Isn't it like, kind of he gets sucked into the computer or something?

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:26)

Something like that. Also, did you see the tweet about if Jesus. Joe Rogan's if Jesus comes back, maybe he's.

Santa Xavier Claus (8:36)

AI.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:38)

It's fine.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:39)

I was like, wrap it up.

Bob the Drag Queen (8:41)

But you know what, though? He knows his audience. His audience is like, it's the A1.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:44)

He's a 1 5G. Like, what?

Bob the Drag Queen (8:47)

I don't know. He. He knows, girl.

Katya Zamolodchikova (8:50)

Seriously? Rojun. Okay, so what's up?

Bob the Drag Queen (8:54)

Oh, so November 1st, I woke up, I said, it's time, went down to the CVS and bought all the leftover Halloween Candy. Thrifty. 70% off.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:06)

You love it.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:07)

Sour punch straws. Mambas.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:09)

Mambas.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:10)

You know Mambas. Mambas. Tell me they're.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:13)

You didn't get non pareils?

Bob the Drag Queen (9:14)

No, no. Hi. Chews Starburst. And a bunch of Snickers. I got them all stacked away in the grocery in the pantry for a rainy day.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:23)

Why don't you freeze them?

Bob the Drag Queen (9:24)

That candy will keep me going for three years. No, but honestly, months. I'll be like, I'll have this candy through. Because the Halloween candy is good, and it's all individual small pieces.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:33)

A little treat.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:35)

And that way, I only have 16 small pieces.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:37)

You know, you digest it better if you keep the wrapper on.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:40)

It goes right through you. Of course. Of course. You get the.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:43)

You get the satisfying chew, but none of the calories.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:46)

Right. I. Can I talk about the medical mystery, please? I had to go to a urologist, and.

Katya Zamolodchikova (9:52)

Oh, God.

Bob the Drag Queen (9:53)

I had to go to a urologist, and they had to do a trigger warning. They had to do. I'm gonna be honest. This is pretty graphic, and I wasn't sure if I would share, but I thought they told me at the urologist's office that this is really common if people get it done all the time. So I don't feel that crazy. Maybe somebody knows they had to do a. I forget what it's called, but they put a camera, a camera up your pee hole into your bladder. So first they put a numbing gel in my pee hole. Then they clamped the end of it with, like, a chip clip, right? And I'm just laying there.

Katya Zamolodchikova (10:21)

And they clamped the pee hole.

Bob the Drag Queen (10:22)

Yeah, I'm just laying there, and they're kind of like, you know, the girl at the front desk says, she knows who you are. And I'm like, great, perfect.

Katya Zamolodchikova (10:27)

The girl wants to come in and look at your pee hole.

Bob the Drag Queen (10:28)

Is that okay? Oh, yeah. Oh, one time, I was at the proctologist, and after they pulled out the brown glove, they said, huge fan. Huge fan.

Katya Zamolodchikova (10:37)

The brown glove.

Bob the Drag Queen (10:40)

So then when it's all numb, he comes in, he goes, you know, this is actually really. The whole thing's like 90 seconds. He was like, it's not really painful. He said, there's one part of it where if you don't relax, it will hurt more. The camera gets to what you call the bladder sphincter, which is like another butthole. And what do I do? I tense. Shocking. So I just go. It gets up there. And I go. I go. I'm not kidding. I go, ah, ah, ah. And he goes, okay, okay, okay. When you. When you get nervous about this, you're going to close, but naturally, it's not that tight. So if you just relax, the camera will just go in. And he was right. The second try just Was like. I was like, play dead. No matter how much it hurts, play dead. And it just went. It was perfect.

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:16)

Okay.

Bob the Drag Queen (11:16)

But that's.

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:17)

That is a situation where you need to use a strategy. Like, don't worry, is not going to cut it. Relax, is not going to come.

Bob the Drag Queen (11:25)

He was right though.

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:26)

Like, yeah, no, I know that he's speech to response.

Bob the Drag Queen (11:28)

It's a. You nervous? You tight?

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:29)

Totally. But. But saying don't be nervous. What am I going to do?

Bob the Drag Queen (11:32)

Right?

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:32)

I'm going to get nervous.

Bob the Drag Queen (11:33)

And I laid there on the table and I thought if I leave now, I. I'm not being good to myself health wise if I just dip out on this. So I'm just going to do it. So I'm laying there with no pants on and the tube is up the penis. I'm like not looking. I'm like staring at it. I'm like, I'm dissociated. Yeah. And they have, they bring the screen over and they go look and they show me my bladder. I'm looking at my bladder on, on, on, on twitch.com. they're live streaming.

Katya Zamolodchikova (11:58)

It starts to get hard.

Bob the Drag Queen (11:59)

It's a live stream. And I get with the thing in there.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:03)

It could happen.

Bob the Drag Queen (12:03)

No, people do it for. And I'm so ran through that. Like them handling my penis. Even a medical environment, I like, that wasn't so ran touching my penis in medical environment. I don't care. Like, I'm not nervous about like a doctor Sink. Do whatever you need to do. You're. You're. You're a body chopper.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:18)

What you want with my body?

Bob the Drag Queen (12:19)

Also, I'm not. When I was younger, I think I was like an STI test. I'm so now I'm just like, swab it, do whatever you need to do. I respect your process.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:26)

Break a Q tip off in my ass.

Bob the Drag Queen (12:27)

And I said, do you guys do this a lot? They said, are you kidding me? We had five before you got here and we'll have like 15 more today. This happens. We do this all the time. So I was like, great, honey.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:34)

You are not special or not special.

Bob the Drag Queen (12:36)

A little scary. But like I said, the whole thing in and out was 90 seconds.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:40)

But you know what, though? 90 seconds could be. Could feel like 90 minutes.

Bob the Drag Queen (12:43)

Can I say this was the first time in my life I've had a foreign item wiggling around in my body that wasn't like that. You feel a little camera in your bladder.

Katya Zamolodchikova (12:55)

I don't doubt that.

Bob the Drag Queen (12:57)

So he's showing me. He brings a TV over and I'm looking at the walls of my bladder, and I'm going, oh, I'm looking at my own bladder. Okay, okay, okay. And luckily, what she looked like, it looked normal. It was just bladdery. If you Google a bladder, you know that weird kind of fleshy, peachy, yellowy color with, like, very small veins? That's what it looks like. It looks like a bladder.

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:13)

That's why I'm gonna see a picture.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:14)

So it was normal, luckily. But it was like, oh, God. Oh, God. It wasn't. I don't. I don't love it. I don't love the. I don't love that. I don't wish it on people.

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:21)

No.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:21)

And it was bad. But you got to take care of yourself, I guess. What the is that?

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:28)

You guys won an award. Oh, yeah, we won an award.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:32)

When did that show up?

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:33)

Literally today. I know. Congratulations.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:37)

I'll grab it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:40)

Congratulations.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:42)

All.

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:42)

Everyone. All holes are the same. Excuse me.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:44)

What?

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:46)

This is not true.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:47)

Look at that. Oh. Podcast of the year. Is this real?

Katya Zamolodchikova (13:51)

Yeah. I'm going to take this to my Eyes Wide Shut party tonight.

Bob the Drag Queen (13:54)

People who like who use Grindr voted us the pod of the year. Is that. This is like. I'm sorry, Grindr's real. Real gays. These are for them. Ran through $40 a month. Dolls.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:05)

My Grinder. Does that get me a free subscription? No.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:10)

Should we say something?

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:11)

Say what?

Bob the Drag Queen (14:12)

I mean, can we accept Grinder? I can't do a speech.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:15)

Yeah, please. Speech, Speech, Speech, Speech.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:17)

Wow. I never thought this would happen. After years and years of paying for Grindr Extra, which I think is $785 a month, now I think that I bought this. This maquette means the world to me. I beat Meryl.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:33)

Thank you so much, you guys. She's right. My $800 a month.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:37)

It's huge.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:38)

And it's heavy. You could beat someone to death with this thing.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:41)

LWH hangers. This award is a LWH Hanger.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:44)

This could be a ball stretcher. You know what I mean? You could also.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:48)

It does have two holes.

Monet X Change (14:49)

Hello.

Katya Zamolodchikova (14:52)

You guys stomp and then you on.

Bob the Drag Queen (14:54)

The Patreon, which you don't know we have. We don't have one. But on the Patreon. Can we this award. Would you guys watch that? If we two timed each took we this award.

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:04)

You know, I just had the strangest vision of what us doing the whack a mole through the weenie hole through there and put somebody else on the other end with a lighter.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:16)

Honestly, my pubes are so long right now. In the event that they could get burned off, everybody would be a winner.

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:22)

That's tea.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:23)

Do you understand, like, do you understand that for them to put the. Put the camera of my pee hole, they had to do, like, chip clips of, like, the hair had to be swept back?

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:31)

Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:33)

It's okay. You know, being an adult means having to go to the doctor and be uncomfortable, but you have to take care of yourself. If you think something's up, you got to take care of yourself.

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:42)

This is true. But, I mean, I don't wish cameras up the pee hole on anybody. I mean, I have friends who fully.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:47)

Love to sound sounding. Yeah, it's a little. It's a. I don't want to yuck anybody's yum.

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:52)

I do.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:53)

Be careful, though. Be careful.

Katya Zamolodchikova (15:54)

It is. That particular thing is horrifying to me because, like you said, I think it's like, also.

Bob the Drag Queen (15:59)

But we're putting things up the butt. Is it really different than up the pee hole?

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:02)

Yes, it is. Can you fit two fists up your pee hole?

Bob the Drag Queen (16:06)

But they're not sounding with fists.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:09)

No, they're sounding with knitting needles.

Bob the Drag Queen (16:11)

They should take those metal straws.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:12)

My P hole is exit only, right?

Bob the Drag Queen (16:15)

Traditional. Yeah.

Santa Xavier Claus (16:17)

But no, no.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:17)

So, like, I. Oh, God. But what I.

Santa Xavier Claus (16:20)

What I. Gays are so ran through.

Bob the Drag Queen (16:21)

That's the. That's the gay version of straight women being like, I don't do anal for the gays. If you don't sound. It's like, oh, vanilla. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:29)

Yeah. I mean, I just. When people say relax, I tense up.

Bob the Drag Queen (16:33)

Right.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:33)

They would have to use some kind of reverse psychology.

Bob the Drag Queen (16:36)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:36)

At a van.

Bob the Drag Queen (16:38)

Yeah, probably.

Katya Zamolodchikova (16:38)

Why didn't they drug you?

Bob the Drag Queen (16:40)

They don't drug people. The type of inflammatory disease I have with my stress and autoimmune disorders, things just happen when I get stressed out. Lupus do, you know? And so I think what's going on is what I'm getting. I think it's just the symptoms of my body getting tense and involuntary systems getting out of whack, which I think is occurring. But don't matter what part of adulthood, you gotta go to the doctor and you gotta get it checked out.

Katya Zamolodchikova (17:08)

Yeah. And you gotta let those medical students walk in the door and look, I did not do that.

Bob the Drag Queen (17:12)

That's happened to me.

Katya Zamolodchikova (17:13)

When I went from my. You know, they're like, this is definitely that. We have some med students in the hallway. Can they come and look? And I was like, no, no, no, not today.

Bob the Drag Queen (17:26)

But they were streaming. Live streaming.

Katya Zamolodchikova (17:29)

They were like. They were one on top of the other. Like through the crack in the door.

Santa Xavier Claus (17:39)

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Katya Zamolodchikova (20:07)

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Bob the Drag Queen (22:29)

No, I mean the memes online I've seen, so there's an understanding That I think it's. I think it's the lesbians new jerk off show.

Katya Zamolodchikova (22:37)

Well, it's, it's. It's based on. I ordered all the books. It's based on books by a woman author. The COVID art is a little suspicious. It's giving ya. It's giving ya picture book. It's giving like ya like 9 to 12 age range. Like it's so bad. But Connor story the. So there's a Canadian actor and then there's an American actor. He plays a Russian guy and his Russian accent is good. His Russian is not great, but that's how I knew he was in Russian. But his ass. Is huge and lovely.

Bob the Drag Queen (23:17)

Okay, Jason Momoa. Who cares anymore?

Katya Zamolodchikova (23:20)

Jason who?

Bob the Drag Queen (23:21)

Right? That just being deleted from the phone as we speak.

Katya Zamolodchikova (23:24)

Literally he's being like. He's like. He's got his like walking papers and he's like off my phone. This motherfucker's ass is so big.

Bob the Drag Queen (23:32)

Yeah, well, I'll watch it. I actually you'll be proud of me because I've been watching a lot of stuff and you know, I don't watch a lot of TV or movies but it was the holidays and when you're with family, you really have nothing to do but all sit and watch this. What did you watch? I watched this amazing documentary called the Joneses. Is about this trans woman who lives in Mississippi who has a family and she lives in a trailer and she's like a woman who transitioned later in life and she's gorgeous, long legs, beautiful face and it's. I don't seeing. Seeing how later in life seeing older trans women with families and like how later thriving and living like a normal, normal comfortable life. Like 73.

Katya Zamolodchikova (24:14)

There's.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:14)

She looked amazing.

Santa Xavier Claus (24:15)

There's hope.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:16)

Her name was Jerry. J H E R I I believe when she was male her name was Jerry. So she switched it up. But she has four kids, she lives with three of her adult sons. Supportive, like nice family, do wear makeup and everything. Dysfunctional, but not more than normal family. Yeah. And I don't know, seeing like an older trans woman living the life of just a woman that age with the same things. In a way she's just like planting her tomatoes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (24:39)

Love it.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:40)

A lot of the movie was her putting on like workout clothing and like strutting around her trailer.

Katya Zamolodchikova (24:45)

Oh, that would be me.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:46)

It was a hundred and I just like loved it. I thought it was very beautiful film.

Santa Xavier Claus (24:49)

That's fantastic.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:50)

Great. Then I watched. It was great. It was great.

Katya Zamolodchikova (24:53)

Yeah, great.

Bob the Drag Queen (24:54)

No, I meant it was Great. Then I watched something about Disclosure, the alien movie, the new documentary about aliens.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:01)

Okay. So I was. Yeah, this came up at the holiday table as well.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:06)

And I watched it and talk about it. Well, I was watching it with, I can say now, my boyfriend. Wow.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:12)

Oh my God. Where's the confetti?

Bob the Drag Queen (25:15)

And he. And. Oh, we did talk about this on my channel, but I think I should mention it here.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:18)

Yes, I. This, this is news to me.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:20)

I mentioned it here. It's been going on for quite a while.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:24)

Yeah.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:24)

Let's just say.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:25)

Let's just say I. Let's just say you're enjoying my sloppy second. So whatever could you imagine?

Bob the Drag Queen (25:37)

Not like it hasn't happened. Do you remember that?

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:40)

Oh, Mary, don't. Damn it. Don't even get me stunned.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:43)

Do you guys know about this?

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:44)

We. No, no. We shall. We will talk about it off camera. I don't want to that person.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:50)

I keep saying we have a. We don't know.

Katya Zamolodchikova (25:52)

We will talk about this behind a paywall, baby.

Bob the Drag Queen (25:54)

When the ad free version of this drops, and it will, the deepest, grossest story we share will be only, what, $4?00? That's how low rent we are. You want to hear the worst sex thing that's ever happened to us? It's 350.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:06)

Our one degree of separation sexually will.

Bob the Drag Queen (26:08)

Cost $4, 2 gold shillings and a piece of gum. High dollar.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:13)

Well, congratulations.

Bob the Drag Queen (26:14)

Oh, thank you. But by the way, as you all know, he's amazing. He's amazing. He's gorgeous. He's wonderful.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:19)

You don't deserve him.

Bob the Drag Queen (26:20)

I know, but I just want everybody here. I. I said it on the channel here too. I have really learned, as you all can imagine, the value of keeping this part of your life to yourself.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:30)

Yeah. I mean, what about me with those medical students? You know, I keep my herpes to myself.

Bob the Drag Queen (26:36)

Girl, there should be a class where they just cut your body open and show things. It'll be like cross the future, they.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:42)

Just pull out organs and go, five years from now.

Bob the Drag Queen (26:45)

No, I think you should be alive. Oh, they show it and you go. And they put it back in to pull out the lung. It's black.

Katya Zamolodchikova (26:56)

Mary. You know, if I'm. If I have general anesthesia for operation, I'm waking up and going.

Bob the Drag Queen (27:02)

Right back.

Katya Zamolodchikova (27:03)

Okay, so go ahead.

Bob the Drag Queen (27:04)

So he loves aliens. So we're watching it and he's watching. We're watching the documentary. And every time they say something, he's blanket covered around up to the head. And every time they say something, family all around. We're watching this Video this movie. Every time they say something like. And that's when I had confirmed that it was an alien body. He would just go, hello. Hello. So, like, every eight minutes when somebody. Because these are all acts like f. Not FBI, whatever it is. Military. They worked in the military. And these are people who've seen. What do they call them? UAPs? Unidentified Alien P. Something.

Katya Zamolodchikova (27:38)

No, it's not alien, but I know what you're talking about.

Bob the Drag Queen (27:40)

Yes. I guess is not the term. It's uap.

Listener/Caller (27:43)

This is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (27:43)

This sounds more legit.

Bob the Drag Queen (27:44)

Yes. Yeah. And these people, all from different eras of government, areas of government. They don't even all know each other, but they're all telling similar stories of seeing something and being encouraged to.

Katya Zamolodchikova (27:56)

Unidentified air. Unidentified anomalous phenomenon.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:02)

Okay. Yes. Yeah. It's pretty broad.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:04)

Yeah. It's like.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:04)

And every time they confirm something like this, I just hear, hello. Hello. And I do think there do be aliens. And I think there are probably already here and they're just hiding out.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:17)

Well, that's Mary. That brings me to my next point.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:20)

Charlize Bugonia. Oh. Watched it. I watched.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:23)

You did not. Oh, my God.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:26)

And that will also be on the Patreon. And that will be another $3.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:30)

You did not watch it.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:31)

Yes. You know why I watched it?

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:32)

Why?

Bob the Drag Queen (28:32)

Because I knew you would watch it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:33)

Oh, baby.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:35)

What did you think, Mary?

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:37)

I lived.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:37)

You lived.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:38)

Well, okay, here's the thing.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:39)

The electrocution scene was really shocking, so I. I knew.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:44)

Oh, my God.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:47)

Scary.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:48)

The screaming, the electrocution scene was really.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:51)

It was shocking. I didn't know. I didn't think about that. It was. It was.

Katya Zamolodchikova (28:56)

I didn't even get it.

Bob the Drag Queen (28:57)

The land, honey, land. Oh, it was scary.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:03)

Oh, but I knew, so I knew.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:05)

Why did you know?

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:06)

Because I read the wiki.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:08)

Oh, come on. Why would you do that?

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:09)

Because somebody told me I didn't read.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:11)

The wiki because I wanted to be able to, for myself, read the ride. Does that make sense?

Santa Xavier Claus (29:15)

Of course.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:16)

Courtney tried. Courtney, literally for, like, the last four weeks. Courtney act was like, have you watched Begonia yet? I'm like, no, Stop harassing me. I had a blocker.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:24)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:24)

And then so I. I read the Wikipedia. I don't. I never do that. I never do that. But I was like, I'm gonna. I was like, oh, whatever. When I watched the movie, I was still shocked.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:34)

Here's what the wiki's good for. The wiki is good for. Let's say you're cooking while watching a movie and you're like, did I miss a plot point. Pause it. Go read up to that point to make sure you've got all the information. Well, the.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:43)

And he wikipedias every movie he watches while watching it. Yes.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:47)

Love it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:48)

You know, just turn it off.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:49)

I do like to watch. I mean, I love Jesse Plemons. Jesse Plemons eats in everything. Loves Jesse Plemymons.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:55)

Such a phenomenally talented actor.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:56)

He's amazing. Oh, my God. And he had tracks.

Katya Zamolodchikova (29:58)

Love the tracks.

Bob the Drag Queen (29:58)

The scene where they're at dinner and it's sort of the political part of the movie where he's saying he's been through every side of political affiliation. And she's kind of reveals that she knows who he is. She deduced that that was his mother. We're ruining the movie. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:16)

Big time spoiler. Big time spoiler.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:17)

Alicia Silverstone, always happy to see her. And, you know, she's such hardcore vegan. She was like, you know, she's like, I'll play the woman that a corporation kills. Boop. You know, of course. And that scene loves Silverstone.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:29)

She's in the air, floating on this, like, amazing, amazing.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:32)

The performances and God, they just all eat. The autistic gentleman who plays the brother.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:38)

Incredible.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:39)

I looked him up. I think this is his first film.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:41)

Incredible. He was so good. But Ms. Emma Stone, I know it like, she's got 13 Oscars already, but give her another one because that hoe is.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:48)

Forget everything you knew about La La Land.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:50)

Mama Lala who?

Bob the Drag Queen (30:51)

Exactly.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:51)

Lala Ri.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:52)

Lala. Ri. Lalond.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:54)

Like, she just. She nails everything.

Bob the Drag Queen (30:58)

She really eats.

Katya Zamolodchikova (30:59)

She's like. Like that whole. She. She nails that, like shitty. The scene type.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:04)

Corporate apology. Yeah. And then starts over.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:06)

Yeah. The diverse. There's too much diversity. It was like all. It's just so funny. She's so. She's pitch perfect.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:13)

I. Because of the level of movie, I was like, there's no way she's not going to be an alien at the end.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:19)

Right.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:19)

That was my.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:19)

That's kind of what I figured. And that I was like, I was not shocked. To con. To have that be confirmed. And I was still as surprised because I knew, like, I knew nothing about the set piece of, like, what happens in the end, which was riveting.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:33)

What about the caster? The. The castration? The chemical castration?

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:37)

Love.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:38)

Love.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:39)

I've done it.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:39)

I love when he goes, well, we thought you might try to seduce us. So we both chemistry cast. And she goes, oh, that's when she realizes, like, this is for real. Electrocution was crazy.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:50)

Yeah, it was, but then shocking. But she.

Santa Xavier Claus (31:52)

I was.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:53)

I loved that. He was like, oh, my God, your.

Santa Xavier Claus (31:54)

Majesty, I'm so sorry.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:56)

And they gave her a wig.

Katya Zamolodchikova (31:57)

He gave her a wig.

Bob the Drag Queen (31:59)

She gives her. He gives her a wig. Once she realizes she's so. She doesn't have to be bald members. At the end when she goes back to the office, she has a wig on.

Santa Xavier Claus (32:06)

Oh, that's right. That's so crazy.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:08)

You need to read the Wikipedia. That was a vanity unit. That was a wigs by vanity unit. That was a Miss Australia.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:15)

Miss Sweden.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:16)

Miss Sweden.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:16)

Stage lace.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:17)

It was a great movie. I loved it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:19)

The. The end was. I was like, hello.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:23)

That was you at the end. Hello.

Monet X Change (32:25)

Hello.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:26)

I'm just trying to bust out of an ambulance, get to my office to teleport to my homeland.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:30)

Girl, I still be. I still be saying hello. Remember when I told you when I started driving again, I say hi in the car a lot because I'm not used to being in the car alone. And I'm still. I'm turned out of the freeway going, hello. Hi. Other cars. Hey. Hey.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:45)

Get out of here, you cock a dick.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:48)

The car alone is. It's creepy. It's creepy boobs.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:51)

No, it's not.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:51)

It's.

Katya Zamolodchikova (32:51)

No, it's not. You know what I do in the car? I'm doing Grammys performances, right? I'm at the Grammys. I'm Sabrina Carpenter. I'm Karen Carpenter.

Bob the Drag Queen (32:58)

Right, the grannies.

Katya Zamolodchikova (33:01)

I'm giving vocal performances. I'm doing master classes like Christina Aguilera vocal performances. I'm giving octave ranges.

Bob the Drag Queen (33:13)

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Santa Xavier Claus (34:37)

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Monet X Change (37:01)

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Bob the Drag Queen (38:24)

I also watched. There's a lot of movies I watched. I watched Madam. Did you watch this, Madam? This is a Toni Collette film.

Katya Zamolodchikova (38:31)

Heidi Slice.

Bob the Drag Queen (38:32)

This is a Toni Collette film. Her and her husband play rich upper echelon socialites who are American who live in Paris.

Katya Zamolodchikova (38:40)

No.

Bob the Drag Queen (38:41)

And they're hosting a dinner party and they realize there's 13 chairs. And she's like, I can't do that, right? Toni Collette's like this complete bitch. She's like, I can't have that. She goes to her maid and is like, go put on a nice dress. Don't tell the. Don't tell the people here that you're a maid. We need 14 guests. Just drink a little bit. Don't talk much. Shut up. But we need 14 chairs. And she accidentally charms the pants off of this super rich guy that's at the dinner. And they start dating. And he doesn't know who she is. And Toni Collette's like, I can't believe this.

Santa Xavier Claus (39:08)

It's like Made in Manhattan.

Bob the Drag Queen (39:09)

The reveal is at the end. He's, like, so in love with her, and she's worried that he's gonna, like, dump her. And Toni Collette tells him that she's the maid, and he does dump her. And then she quits the job and leaves. But it teaches her that I'm not that different than these people.

Katya Zamolodchikova (39:27)

Hello.

Bob the Drag Queen (39:28)

And these people suck. And she's like, I'm wearing them. Basically, the subtext being like, I had a maid's outfit on, telling myself I'm not as good as these people. I am as good as these people. Yeah. I'm better than these people. And I would. And that guy sucks. And I'm leaving. And she quits.

Katya Zamolodchikova (39:42)

Great.

Bob the Drag Queen (39:42)

It was a great movie. And the actress who played her, this woman, she was. She's a Spanish model, an actress who has like a million awards, but I never seen her anything. And she is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (39:53)

I love Rossi De Palma. She has very distinctive looking.

Bob the Drag Queen (39:55)

Yes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (39:56)

Yeah. Big nose.

Bob the Drag Queen (39:56)

I was. Yes. I was watching.

Katya Zamolodchikova (39:58)

She's Almodovar. She's in, like, Alma Dovar movie.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:00)

Okay. I love big noses on women.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:02)

Oh, she's incredible.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:03)

And I'm watching her. And in the movie, obviously she's meant to be, like, not traditionally ugly duckling. Yes. Yeah. But I'm watching it, and the family commentary is going around. I go, you guys, I bet she was a model. I Google it. Sure was.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:16)

Oh, yeah. Mugler.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:17)

Yes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:17)

Also, she eats beautiful shoes up. Every scene she's in in all those Almodovar movies.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:22)

And the red carpets. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:24)

She's so. She's fucking funny.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:26)

She's so funny.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:27)

So funny.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:28)

So fudgeing funny. Anyway, I'd never even heard of that movie. It's a. It's. It's not just a Toni Collette film. The gentleman who plays her husband, it was his last movie before she died. He better leave.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:36)

What was his name? Oh, he's her husband in the Piano.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:41)

And Toni Collette. I never get to see her be, like, a true cunt. She's really a cunt in that movie.

Katya Zamolodchikova (40:45)

Oh, wow. Is there anything she can't do?

Bob the Drag Queen (40:47)

There's this part where she reads the. She reads the nurse. The nurse. The maid down and tells her to go to bed in the middle of the party. Is like, you're embarrassing yourself. You don't belong here. Whatever.

Santa Xavier Claus (40:55)

Oh, that would.

Bob the Drag Queen (40:55)

And then before the girl walks away, she goes, and you look really pretty in lipstick.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:00)

Oh, wow.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:00)

Cunt.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:01)

Cunt. Hello.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:02)

Hello. Hello. It was a great movie. You know, sometimes when you let. When you're not. When it's not your house and you're at the mercy of what other movies people pick, you can be surprised. Things you never thought of or knew about play on the tv and you go, ah, the Jones who never picked this independent documentary about a trans woman in Mississippi. Loved it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:25)

Loved it. Also, her kitel isn't dead. Thank you, Weenie.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:30)

Talk to him today.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:32)

You know what? You know what I love about Harvey Keitel? His large schlong.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:36)

I love him in Dust till Dawn. Think about it, think about it, think about it. And that's what the community is kind of afraid to talk about, you know?

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:47)

You know what I can't get out of my head?

Bob the Drag Queen (41:48)

What?

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:49)

Salma Hayek in her pool, swimming with the bikini and those large breasts. You know I'm talking about on her Instagram.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:56)

Oh, yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:56)

You know I'm talking about.

Bob the Drag Queen (41:57)

And you did it at my birthday party.

Katya Zamolodchikova (41:59)

I just watched that girl.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:01)

That's so weird in all this. On all this cinema. I was like, should I rewatch that?

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:05)

No, it can't.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:06)

This Oscar cinema Begonia into that video.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:09)

I mean, it's apples and orange.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:11)

Hello.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:11)

Begonia could never.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:12)

Begonia could never.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:14)

I'll see you at the Oscars. Tati.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:18)

I'm ready for some sort of birthday dinner. I'm ready for some kind of I. Tonya movie about, like, Sandra Bullock. 2016. Arab.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:27)

Sandra Bullock. Tati. Who's playing Tati? Sandra Bullock.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:30)

Yeah, right. Bring it on.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:32)

Okay, who's playing James Charles?

Bob the Drag Queen (42:35)

Maybe himself.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:36)

No, it's gonna be Tim the Chalamet.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:40)

Oh, of course. Timothy Chalamet. Timothy can do it too. He's got the range.

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:44)

He could do everything. He's motivated. He want to be the best. Sandra. Sandy Bullock is Tati or Liz Hurley.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:51)

And I think. I think Emma Stone is Jeffrey. Right?

Katya Zamolodchikova (42:57)

100%.

Bob the Drag Queen (42:59)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:00)

And there's got to be that. Do you know what? You follow that account? Head very empty.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:03)

Where? It's the swing.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:04)

The swing.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:05)

Do I follow that account? Pull up in the Sri Lanka. Are you kidding me?

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:09)

In the red Tracksuits.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:13)

On Instagram. Everybody needs to follow. Every day, every day, every day.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:19)

It's like, it's like my. My pill.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:20)

Everybody running through the field.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:22)

Yeah, I got it. I have a shirt that got my red dress on today.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:25)

Did you see the new Drag Race promo? I.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:27)

Okay, so let's talk about that.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:29)

RUP Paul says, like it says in shady times, like let there be light calls in this glowing dress. I honestly.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:35)

Ready, set, glow.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:36)

I. I was like, we. We do need this. We need Drag Race in these trying times.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:42)

Yes, we do. Do you know what? You know what was going through my head the entire promo?

Bob the Drag Queen (43:45)

How pretty I was.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:46)

Three words. I could never. Baby, I don't care. Some of those girls were hit.

Bob the Drag Queen (43:52)

The idea that you had to self evaluate if you were.

Katya Zamolodchikova (43:53)

Some of those girls were hit and tore down in the face, obviously. But every single one of them was wearing an outfit that I could never dream of acquiring, designing, or even source thing here. I do care. That's why it hurts me.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:07)

Right?

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:08)

I don't.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:09)

Can I say, I don't know. When I was just. It was. This isn't the same.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:13)

She's wearing a little purple, like purple off the shoulder thing from Telos.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:16)

She might even be in the picture.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:18)

No, but I mean, she was there.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:19)

Yes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:19)

Yeah.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:20)

Like when we did the All Stars promo. I remember she was there like the day before. We never saw her. She shoots her own.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:25)

Oh, no, she's not gonna be there with you guys. Yeah, no, she's running through the parking lots with the shoes, singing.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:30)

You're getting dragged ahead to set with Thorgy. Out of your mind. The craziest thing happened on that. I think I talked about this on my channel, but that photo shoot for All Stars 3 was gold.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:41)

Yeah.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:41)

And third, you brought a yellow feather dress and was mad when they were like, this isn't gold.

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:47)

They didn't style you.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:48)

No, we brought our own. She brought a yellow feather dress and they were like, this is in gold. And she was like, what?

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:55)

It's yellow gold.

Bob the Drag Queen (44:56)

Let it mellow. You know?

Katya Zamolodchikova (44:58)

Was David. David LaChapelle shot that, right? Yeah, we had. I think we shot our. Shot our own on an iPhone.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:04)

What's with that, Mary? What's with the All Stars 2 promo?

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:07)

No, no, no, no. There was no promo. We didn't have promo.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:11)

What is it?

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:12)

No, it was Queen Faggot.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:15)

Queen. Queen.

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:18)

It was like royal. It was Boo Boo. We didn't really have. We didn't have a. We didn't have a commercial.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:25)

Amazing television, though. You Guys didn't need it. Best season. Maybe they watch it and thought, we don't need it. It's this good.

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:30)

Yeah. Horrible. I mean, do you know where my. Who looked? I actually think Roxy looked really beautiful.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:36)

Is your dress literally from, like, ASOS? Yep. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:39)

Not ASOS. It's something. Something better. AliExpress. Detox, I think won that challenge. She looks incredible.

Bob the Drag Queen (45:48)

I think y' all look chopped. If a one had been invented, I would have said, let Gemini take a draft at y' all nasty girl.

Katya Zamolodchikova (45:59)

Best season until you take your clothes off.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:01)

Best. Best season Drag Race ever. I cannot wait till you and I can someday do a recap of. Of All Stars, too. I've been wanting to watch it so bad. You are so good at that. I.

Katya Zamolodchikova (46:11)

You know what? I'm not. I'm not the type of person who, like, peaked in high school. Always reliving my glory days, you know, tipping.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:18)

Didn't peek in high school. You were drinking. Vampire. You were. You were in. In red leather.

Katya Zamolodchikova (46:23)

Vampire widows doing ass Widows. Peaked in high school.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:26)

Peaked. Peaked at what? Peaked.

Katya Zamolodchikova (46:30)

I peaked through the hole.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:32)

Peaked at men in the shower. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (46:35)

Rubbing the skin off. Oh, my God. No. But I don't. Like. I'm not the type of person to relive my glory days. Still waiting for them to happen, but, like, I agree.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:43)

Just amazing television.

Katya Zamolodchikova (46:45)

It was the best. It was the best.

Santa Xavier Claus (46:47)

It was so good.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:48)

You guys are just amazing. I'm so glad.

Santa Xavier Claus (46:50)

I'm so glad I didn't get eliminated at the third episode, though.

Bob the Drag Queen (46:53)

Best TV ever. Yeah. Moment when the mirror people are back there. I just. I fantasize about it. Yeah. I fantasize about it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:00)

Wait, I got two words for you. Typingclub.com. that's not a word.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:05)

Type in club.

Santa Xavier Claus (47:06)

So.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:06)

Typing club. You know how my. My secret shame hunt and Peck don't.

Santa Xavier Claus (47:10)

Know how to type?

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:11)

Mary asked me what I did the other day. 70 words per minute.

Santa Xavier Claus (47:15)

100% accuracy.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:16)

Eat my ass.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:17)

7.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:18)

70.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:18)

70.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:20)

That's very, very. That's very out of character. Are you an Adderall? No, I'm. No, I couldn't. That is like.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:26)

That's like a lot of characters a minute. No complete words.

Monet X Change (47:29)

No words.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:30)

A lot of typing, though.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:31)

No words or sentences, but a lot of pushing. But the thing. But full disclosure, no capitals. No capitals. That's giving me a. That's giving me a big stand.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:41)

Twitter. You turn off the auto caps on standby.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:44)

I'm doing periods, though, and commas. I'm doing semicolons.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:46)

Periods.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:47)

Comes I just. The. The capitals are really killing me because you got to go.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:51)

You got to choose this shift to this shift.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:52)

I know, and I don't like it.

Bob the Drag Queen (47:54)

That's okay.

Katya Zamolodchikova (47:54)

But, Mary, I was. I was cruising, and it's so satisfying. Like, I haven't learned to do anything in so long.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:00)

You want to write another book?

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:01)

Nope. But I could. I could dictate somebody else's book or write somebody else's book.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:06)

You want to be a stenographer?

Santa Xavier Claus (48:07)

That's what I want. You.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:07)

But 17 years into drag to go be a court stenographer.

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:10)

And we get a brown wig, breast implants, real Marcia Cross Little.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:16)

Is that her name?

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:16)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Wait a minute. Marcia Cross? Sarah Paulson. All's fair.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:25)

You.

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:28)

Ryan. What Ryan Murphy and those ladies are doing to us is something hitherto undid on television. They are trolling us so hard.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:36)

Why are you feeding into it?

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:37)

No, no, no, no. I'm not feeding into it. I. I saw a clip on Twitter.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:40)

Don't stare into the abyss.

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:41)

No, no, no. This is not the abyss. This is the most dazzling car crash you've ever seen in your life, and nobody dies.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:45)

This is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:47)

Sarah Paulson has a monologue talking to Glenn Close about her pussy.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:51)

Her cat. You sent it to me, and as soon as she said pussy, I turned it off.

Katya Zamolodchikova (48:54)

Oh, it's. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna make everybody listen to it because she's getting her star, I believe.

Bob the Drag Queen (48:59)

Sarah Paulson. Or she just got it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (49:00)

It's so unhinged.

Bob the Drag Queen (49:01)

It's.

Katya Zamolodchikova (49:02)

It's a level of, like, unhingess that is just, like. I was, like, incredulous the whole time.

Bob the Drag Queen (49:08)

Did Sarah get her star? She really is. You know what? Jokes. Jokes aside, she's an incredible actress. I love her.

Listener/Caller (49:15)

Reminds me of my. My kitty cat who died When I was five, Mrs. She had feline AIDS. Excuse me, but you're not comparing the loss of your cat to her husband.

Katya Zamolodchikova (49:34)

40 years.

Listener/Caller (49:35)

A child's grief can be just as profound. My Was my whole world.

Bob the Drag Queen (49:43)

Okay, can I say.

Listener/Caller (49:44)

And when my died, I kept her in my bed for days, stroking her and talking to her. Of course, my mother, she got so angry. Stop playing with your car. She yelled. But I refused to. Even when my pussy started smelling really bad and got really crusty, I just stayed locked in my room, grieving in private because I just couldn't let go of my pussy.

Bob the Drag Queen (50:15)

You need to put this in a lip sync.

Listener/Caller (50:16)

Please stop saying the word pussy. I get that, and I Promise you.

Katya Zamolodchikova (50:21)

Will get through this.

Listener/Caller (50:23)

You know, it wasn't easy for me anymore either. But eventually I learned how to soothe myself without touching my.

Bob the Drag Queen (50:33)

Going into my. My pussy.

Katya Zamolodchikova (50:38)

I want to do the cabaret thing. How she turned to me and say. And then do that whole mile.

Bob the Drag Queen (50:43)

Oh, my God, that Elsie.

Katya Zamolodchikova (50:45)

That is so crazy.

Bob the Drag Queen (50:46)

It is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (50:47)

That is so crazy.

Bob the Drag Queen (50:48)

It is. It really is crazy. I also been listening to some new music. Orville Peck's new album is out. And you know, she is one of our friends, but I. She's a crooner, amazing singer. And of course we've seen her on stage. And I have both of his first albums and then the other ones, I kind of cherry picked this one. I was on a long drive and I just put it on.

Katya Zamolodchikova (51:07)

He's beautiful voice.

Bob the Drag Queen (51:08)

He's just a great artist. Horrible. Congrats, girl.

Katya Zamolodchikova (51:11)

Congratulations. And unrelated and inappropriate. I had a sexual dream about him the other day.

Bob the Drag Queen (51:15)

Okay, what happened?

Katya Zamolodchikova (51:17)

I fucked him in his huge butt.

Santa Xavier Claus (51:20)

Let's take a break.

Bob the Drag Queen (51:22)

Finally you called a break.

Katya Zamolodchikova (51:25)

My pussy crusty. So that is so Ryan Murphy and the girls are having fun, I think.

Bob the Drag Queen (51:30)

Listen, I. The other day I needed a Sarah Paulson fix, and I watched a bunch of clips of Apocalypse because I love to watch Sarah Paulson in anything. And what I loved about Apocalypse, American Horror Story was it was the season where all the seasons are kind of converging. It's Murder House, It's Coven, it's this. And so they're all playing their characters from other seasons, but they all have facial blindness when they're like, who are you? And I'm like, well, that's the. That's the supreme in a different way.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:00)

Like, I love that.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:02)

I love it. So drag it is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:04)

So there's this part whereby the Christmas.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:07)

Medicine, Medicine Montgomery turns and she's like, at the Murder House. And she's like, and who the fuck are you? Or whatever. And she's like, I forget what the. The medium's name is, who's from Murder House, but it's Sarah Paulson and she's a medium. And I'm like, but that's the supreme who you saw earlier. That's Sarah Paulson. And I love the fantasy. And then like Jessica Lang shows up as Constance from season one. And she's like, this is my fucking house. You know, whatever. She does Blanche Gevarrow smoking commercial. And then when they're like, who are you? I'm like, well, that's the sibling with cancer who died two years ago.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:38)

You don't recognize the girl? She's on the call.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:40)

She. Girl, I'm. Y' all need to get your eyes checked.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:44)

Ryan Murphy's diabolical.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:46)

Love it, though.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:47)

Oh, I do too. At this point, I'm like, go, girl. Do it. Do more it up.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:52)

Eat it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:52)

Yeah, eat it on them.

Bob the Drag Queen (52:54)

Oh, I watched several Christmas movies already.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:56)

What'd you watch?

Bob the Drag Queen (52:57)

Well, I don't want to overshare too much.

Katya Zamolodchikova (52:59)

Have you seen Scrooged, by the way?

Bob the Drag Queen (53:00)

Yes.

Santa Xavier Claus (53:01)

Oh, it's my favorite Christmas.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:02)

I'm writing a Christmas movie right now. I've never gotten to write a movie, but, you know, you. And I have watched so many Christmas movies at Netflix that I've gotten weirdly empowered because the bar is in the basement.

Katya Zamolodchikova (53:09)

Girl, I'm in a R. There's no writer.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:11)

Yeah, but I like Christmas movies. The world is so bad that I think I've. I've reached a point where I want to watch a formulaic, predictable Christmas movie.

Katya Zamolodchikova (53:20)

Is it like a Lifetime or Netflix or like a, like, irreverent or like.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:24)

It'S really good Christmas movies, right? Like Scrooge. I would say Elf the Grinch. Those are, like, good. Amazing Christmas story. Yes. But I'm more interested in. And then there's the top tier made for tv, kind of seasonal Christmas movies.

Santa Xavier Claus (53:39)

Such a. I'm interested in what's a.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:40)

Little bit below that.

Katya Zamolodchikova (53:41)

Okay.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:42)

Anything starring Jonathan Bennett.

Santa Xavier Claus (53:44)

Who the fuck is that?

Bob the Drag Queen (53:45)

Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls. He's been in, I think I counted 12 Christmas movies.

Katya Zamolodchikova (53:49)

The king of Christmas.

Bob the Drag Queen (53:50)

And I watched a movie that I thought I was going to make fun of and hate. And I sat down to be like, fudgeing gay movies. I love fudgeing gay movies. I love bad Christmas movies. I love bad gay movies. And the two come together.

Katya Zamolodchikova (54:00)

The clit clip.

Bob the Drag Queen (54:01)

The clit carved fucking chip clip. On the clip.

Katya Zamolodchikova (54:03)

Crusty pussy.

Bob the Drag Queen (54:04)

Love it. Crusty pussy. Dead. Dead pussy in bed. So this movie stars Kristen Stewart.

Katya Zamolodchikova (54:12)

Okay, I'm sold.

Bob the Drag Queen (54:13)

And who plays her girlfriend? Beautiful actress, Mackenzie Davis. Incredibly beautiful.

Katya Zamolodchikova (54:18)

Oh, I know this one.

Bob the Drag Queen (54:19)

So they're. They're. They're girlfriends. And I had no idea what this movie was about. And I've been working on my Christmas, and I was like, let's just go watch Christmas movies. Get me in the mood while I'm working on my Christmas. Working out with Jennifer from Netflix. And I just want to say the hard thing to believe in this movie was that you're bringing home Kristen Stewart and you're trying to pass her off as your roommate. Kristen Stewart is in, like, this Unit color with like two hair clips with, like overalls. No, she's giving like grungy cool. Tegan and Sarah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (54:54)

Okay.

Bob the Drag Queen (54:55)

Like, emo girl's there. Yes. And drop dead gorgeous, but really giving. Gay.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:01)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:01)

I love the idea of bringing home that level lesbian and being like, this is my roommate. Well, mirror love.

Santa Xavier Claus (55:06)

That's what my.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:07)

My grandmother called my. My uncles, you know what. For their entire life love.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:12)

Well, it's like an old school thing. Yeah, yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:14)

His roommate.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:15)

It was such a good movie. Really? Yes. It was so good. I had no idea it was going to be so good that I. Aubrey Plaza's in it.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:26)

This sounds great.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:27)

Jinx and Dale are in it. Oh, the drag queens. Where I really was like, this is too much. The mom is Mary Steenbergen. Amazing.

Santa Xavier Claus (55:40)

Love her.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:40)

She never misses. Kind of a mean mom in it. She's fun to watch her be mean.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:43)

Love her.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:44)

I love this movie was so good. And I'd never seen it. Happiest season.

Santa Xavier Claus (55:47)

Happiest season.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:48)

It was the best. It was not only a good Christmas movie, it was one of the best gay movies I've ever seen. Well, that.

Santa Xavier Claus (55:53)

That.

Katya Zamolodchikova (55:54)

Well, I don't think there's any good game.

Bob the Drag Queen (55:55)

Hilarious. Dan Levy. There's this runner where he's babysitting her fish and they're dead. Kills them. And so the runner is that he's spending the whole movie trying to be like, hey, if I have a friend who wanted to get your exact fish, maybe the exact same size, where would you get those? Because he's trying to like, replace her. Yeah, that should make me laugh. There's one whole scene where they're having a heart to heart and they zoom out and he's in a fish store holding two bags, eggs. It's like replacing the fish. The is so funny. I cried like three times.

Santa Xavier Claus (56:19)

Damn.

Bob the Drag Queen (56:20)

Because this girl is in this family where her parents want her to be so perfect and the dad's running for office and the damage. And then really the takeaway is like, Alison Bree is in this. These kids all just want their family, their parents. They feel like their parents love is conditional. Right. And that obviously the gay daughter feels that, but the other two heterosexual siblings also feel that. This story is more of like a cautionary tale of like, parents making their children feel like their love is conditional. And gay stuff fits in that. Yeah, but it wasn't like a gay themed movie.

Katya Zamolodchikova (56:50)

It was like eating out.

Bob the Drag Queen (56:52)

No, the.

Katya Zamolodchikova (56:54)

The lady bunny wasn't in it.

Bob the Drag Queen (56:56)

A piss ballet, you know. Did you know Brandon is In that? Yes. No, he's in another gay sequel. Yeah, there's a piss ballet in that.

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:04)

What now?

Bob the Drag Queen (57:05)

A yellow, like a golden shower ballet. Like you singing in the rain.

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:08)

Jesus Christ. Wait, in this movie.

Bob the Drag Queen (57:10)

No, no. Yeah. It's Kristen Stewart and I love Kristen Stewart. Clear Stream. I love Kristen Stewart.

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:15)

Are you kidding me? I love her.

Bob the Drag Queen (57:18)

She's so.

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:18)

Loved her.

Bob the Drag Queen (57:19)

The acting in this. I was like, is this my favorite Kristen Stewart movie, baby? But you know what else is fucked up about me?

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:25)

What?

Bob the Drag Queen (57:26)

There's nothing I fudgeing like more. I don't know what it is. If you ever go to a hotel and turn on the TV and turn on the cable, basic cable, Twilight will be on. On some channel. And I always turn it on if I hear those opening chords. I lay in that bed, it feels like pizza boxes on my shittiest bedspread. And I put both. I put my legs up in the air and I watch it. I watch Twilight, like with a trowel. It's a little like the ring. Like I can't look away. I got seven days to watch the series. Like after I watch one, I have to watch all of them.

Katya Zamolodchikova (57:54)

Mary, if the Volturi scene. If the Volturi fight scene comes on, you know that I take my glasses off, I take my eyes to the screen.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:01)

Yes.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:02)

I'm talking about the bloodless head fight, the bloodless decapitation, the blood.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:08)

Oh. I also love when Dakota Fanning throws the baby in the fire.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:10)

But where was are you, Edward? Neither. I'm Volturi. I want those dead. I want the baby in the fire.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:17)

Right. I also don't like that. That whole fight happens and then it's a. It's a. It's a psychic vision.

Santa Xavier Claus (58:22)

Hate that.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:23)

That's my turn off. Before that. For me, that's the real thing. Popping, popping heads.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:29)

Like, I don't know what, like a PEZ dispenser. Like, yeah, weird.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:32)

And then also like. What's his name? Martin Sheen.

Santa Xavier Claus (58:36)

Not Martin Sheen.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:37)

That British guy who played like the leader of the Volturi.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:41)

Yeah, what's his name? He's got that. That smirk, that gay smirk that. It's so hammy. It's so hammy. And Dakota Fanning is so hammy. They're just hamming it up. Michael Sheen, married to Kate Beckinsale.

Santa Xavier Claus (58:56)

Divorced, of course.

Bob the Drag Queen (58:56)

Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (58:57)

Father to Lily Sheen. I love that.

Bob the Drag Queen (59:01)

Are you caught up on dairy?

Katya Zamolodchikova (59:03)

I am.

Bob the Drag Queen (59:04)

I gotta. Don't ruin It. I gotta watch this week's Don't Ruin It.

Katya Zamolodchikova (59:06)

I know. I'm not gonna. I, I, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not living. I'm not living. I think they have some really great set pieces, but did you think that.

Bob the Drag Queen (59:14)

Maddie was gonna be alive? I knew it was a trick. Of course. He came out of a yellow tent. I was like, this is a raincoat, girl.

Katya Zamolodchikova (59:19)

He came out looking like, who done it?

Bob the Drag Queen (59:21)

When the back of his head opened up. That was scary. Yeah.

Katya Zamolodchikova (59:23)

But I was like, I was like, when is this kid gonna turn into whatever?

Bob the Drag Queen (59:26)

And I, I did think he was gonna shoot his son. An accident. Yeah. I'm living. I gotta watch this week's, though. I'm living.

Katya Zamolodchikova (59:33)

Unpopular opinion. Whatever. I don't care for this Pennywise. I, I've never cared for. I think Bill Skarsgrd is so talented. Incredibly talented. I hate the design. I hate the look. I don't think it's scary. I think it's boo boo. I think it's too ornate. The big head just is funny. It's not scary. I, I think Tim Curry was eating, eating, eating.

Bob the Drag Queen (59:50)

Maybe we should end it here, because I have something. I, I went. I, I saw the scariest media I've ever seen. And I will tell you what is.

Katya Zamolodchikova (60:00)

Oh, That's a cliffhanger. $3.

Monet X Change (60:30)

All right, y', all, gather round because Monet X changed from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now, listen, the girls over at Google said, monet, tell the children. So I'm telling you, us college students, get Google Gemini's pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation, uploading a photo of your homework to ask for help, or transcribing notes from a lecture you missed, Gemini 3 Pro can help. And, baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it, Monet. Exchanged in the library. Uploading pictures of my music theory homework like Gemini, please help a diva out. Or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying in the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now, back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's Most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro. Unlimited image uploads, Pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs. Two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me, two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look, and every photo your aunt sends you of her plants. Visit Gemiini Google students to learn more and sign up Terms apply.

Katya Zamolodchikova (61:54)

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Santa Xavier Claus (62:31)

Whole zero sugar energy drink thing.

Katya Zamolodchikova (62:33)

But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the.

Santa Xavier Claus (62:44)

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Katya Zamolodchikova (62:46)

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Santa Xavier Claus (62:49)

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