Hello and welcome to the Barrcast.

I'm your host, Nick Barr, coming to you on a sunny and breezy, April 1st.

April Fool's Day.

So, it's been a while since my last chapter, but if you'll remember, we're on the sexual 3, whose keyword is attractiveness.

So I actually recorded this one a few weeks ago and didn't feel great about the recording.

I rushed my way through it and I realized we're back to, we're at the final number, the three.

We started the four, because I'm a four, and it snuck up on me.

But, we're back in my neighborhood.

And the sexual subtype and the self preservation subtype, these are the subtypes that I find, myself connecting with more deeply.

So I realized, gosh, I think I probably breezed through this chapter in a way to avoid my own inner stuff.

So I'm gonna do another pass.

I'm gonna be a little bit more connected with what's happening inside me.

As I read is a super long chapter.

So that's.

That's part of the problem.

And so I'm gonna do my best to navigate this.

But let's hear what, Claudio Naranjo has to say about the sexual 3.

For the passion of the sexual 3, Ichaso used the words masculinity or femininity, depending on the case.

I used to explain it as an excessive attempt to conform to cultural images, perhaps Hollywood style, of what it means to be masculine or feminine nowadays.

He says, I believe that the fundamental pathology of these individuals lies in the fact that instead of acting from instinctive freedom, they invest all their passion into the thirst for love and the corresponding seduction, either through compliance or by projecting an image that is meant to be attractive and exciting.

The result of this is that a woman being overly focused on pleasing a man, loses her ability to enjoy herself. additionally, this personality type tends to have a certain passion for family, which, while it does not appear as a flaw, represents an exaggerated need to please others, perpetuating self alienation.

Among the three subtypes, the sexual three is the most dependent.

They do not usually display aggression and cannot tolerate rejection.

Their seduction is aimed at being embraced and validated, confusing their self worth with the attractiveness of their body.

So that's the introduction, and we have Lorena Garcia de las Bayonas beautiful name with the, transformation in the sexual type 3.

So before we dive into it, I really what Naranjo describes as his own evolution. when I think about his starting place for the sexual three.

Well, the, the person who comes to my mind is Don Draper from Mad Men.

And I'm reading, watching Mad Men now.

And so you have this masculine, attractive, mysterious type. he's, he himself has reinvented himself. ?

So there's that mask quality that we typically associate with the more available words for the three.

The three can be chameleonic, the three can be political.

The three can be focused, on success and progress.

So all that Don Draper energy is there. and Don Draper certainly conforms to the cultural images of what it means to be masculine.

But I how Naranjo gets even more specific, which is that their passion is to be what is desirable from the opposite sex.

So to make yourself into something that is pleasurable, pleasing, desirable to the opposite sex is the passion.

So it's not just Clint Eastwood, it's Clint Eastwood if and only if that is known to be what women want.

And we'll have a woman's perspective for the sexual three.

So we'll hear a lot more about that.

You can imagine that sexual threes will be different for men and women because men and women want different things.

And I just, I guess I'll say a little bit more before we get into the chapter, which is that the core types 3, 6 and 9 are for me the most difficult types to work with.

The energies of them.

And in part that's because they're more pure energies. we've talked about the six.

The six is the, the passion of fear.

And who can't relate to fear?

Fear is so basic of a human mechanism. nine is trickier in some ways.

I think nines are perhaps easier to type.

But the nine, passion of sloth or indolence or numbing, self forgetting.

Again, we all have profound amounts of self forgetting.

Very few of us are really in contact with what we want, what we're about, what we're on earth to do.

So self forgetting is this universal, human condition.

And then three desirability, mask, falsity, covering up, with deceit, A, profound emptiness.

Again, we all have that. we all look in the mirror every morning.

Many of us do and dress up according to some idea of what something somebody wants.

But I think the three in particular is hard for me as a four.

And this is something that is useful to know about Naranjo.

I don't think Naranjo really talked about the wings much.

Wings have taken off in the popular framing of the Enneagram.

But Naranjo really was concerned with the core types and then looked at the other types as stemming from the.

So you're basically a three, six, or nine.

And so a four is a three, a two is a three. you're just a three.

And so the three is continually preoccupied with image.

And the two has found a way to have a positive self image, and that comes with their own issues.

The four has found a way to have a negative self image, and that comes with their issues.

And so that would be a a brief way of Naranjo describing things.

So it's interesting.

One of the, names I played with when I was thinking about maybe starting, a publication just for this was Four Wing Five.

And there are a lot of people who identify as Four Wing Five. and Richard Rohr has talked about that chasm between the four and the five as the hardest to cross.

So there's a little bit of mystique around a four wing five. at the at the bottom, the 6:00 of the Enneagram.

But if Naranjo were here, he might say, that's not really a thing.

Four Wing Five, a four is much closer to three than they are to five.

And I think that's interesting to play with for myself and for other fours, potentially, because, nobody wants to be a three, really.

Threes get hard.

They get put through it a little bit in the.

In the Enneagram, again, because they have this fundamental almost universal human thing of having an image.

And so it's easier for a four, I think, to take their authenticity and their creativity into the five space of, this genius area.

It's in a way easier for us to hang out in that space.

I'm not just creative.

I'm also a hermit.

But.

And of course, there can be truth to that.

But, I think it's healthy for any four to explore their threeness.

And I think it's probably hard for a four to do that.

And it might be the same with fives.

Fives might, be drawn to the fourness.

I'm not just a hermit.

I'm also a creative artist.

But, for five to actually touch the fear underneath, that feeling of maybe emptiness or solitude.

Oh, yeah, there's fear there.

That.

That's probably juicy terrain for a five.

So I'm glad I didn't call this four ring five, because I would have at this point said I've made a terrible mistake.

Okay, let's get into the Transformation The Sexual Type 3 by Lorena Garcia de las Bayonas.

And we will try to breeze through this while hitting the key points.

So she thanks a bunch of individuals. she writes, as sexual three approaches character healing, they become free to be, to feel and to express themselves authentically without being imprisoned by the beautiful physical image, being able even to be ugly and show the ugliness of their life such as pain, anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, resentment, and everything they consider shameful or that makes them lose control.

So off the bat we're talking about freedom and spontaneity.

And threes are.

One of the easier ways to spot a three or differentiate a three from other types is threes are a little, held in.

It's a three has to pass through an image filter before doing something.

They're the most image conscious.

And so freedom, the freedom to be, to feel, to express isn't there for the three.

So as this is helpful for me was when I'm doing my self typing, Self Preservation 4 has always been the one that spoke most clearly to me.

But a self preservation four has that in common with the three, ?

The self preservation four has to be contained and containment, something that three and the four, the sexual three and the self preservation four share here.

Now the reasons for containment are different and we'll explore that as we get into it.

In this way, they're free to be able to make mistakes without the fear that they will stop being loved.

They also leave behind the dependence on approval and love from others, especially from a partner, which results from a lack of self love.

What remains is more real sense of self love through which they can feel a greater warmth inside after passing through the hell of breaking through the internal numbness and the inability to love.

So for the three, the self abandonment is profound, and prevalent here.

The three has made this bargain early on to treat the image of themselves as their real self.

And they don't know that they've made that bargain or it's not available to them.

So in contrast, the four has this unlovability.

The four has the presence of being unlovable.

The three has the absence of being lovable.

For the sexual three, if my partner isn't validating me, ...