#471 - The Best One Hit Wonders Ever

Summary

The Basement Yard Episode #471 - The Best One Hit Wonders Ever

Release Date: October 7, 2024

---

Introduction and Celebrity Banter

The episode kicks off with Joe Santagato and his co-host Frank Alvarez engaging in their signature humorous banter. Early into the conversation, Frank brings up the unsettling nature of celebrity smiles, particularly highlighting Jack Nicholson's enigmatic grin.

Frank Alvarez (00:15): "Any celebrity smiles scare the shit out of you? And why was it Jack Nicholson's?"

Joe responds with his own apprehension towards Nicholson's smile, setting a lighthearted yet intriguing tone for the episode.

Joey Santagato (00:21): "I've never seen him smile."

This playful exchange segues into a brief discussion about their newly launched Basement Yard merchandise, featuring their signature drinks with a Halloween twist.

---

Nostalgia and Personal Anecdotes

The hosts reminisce about their past experiences, including Joe's stint working at Target, where Frank shares entertaining stories about challenging customers and the grueling work schedule. This segment offers listeners a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives and builds a connection through relatable workplace humor.

Frank Alvarez (03:13): "I had to kick her out. And she would call me on the phone screaming because of me."

Joe also delves into cultural references, discussing classic movies and actors like Diane Keaton and reviewing their performances and personal preferences in a humorous manner.

---

Diving into One Hit Wonders

As the episode progresses, the conversation naturally transitions to the main topic: one-hit wonders. Joe and Frank explore various artists and songs that fit this category, sharing their thoughts and personal opinions on why these tracks stand out despite the artists not sustaining long-term fame.

Joey Santagato (55:03): "Bro, when I was younger and I was like, holy lesbians. Like I had to tune in because..."

The hosts compile a diverse list of one-hit wonders across different decades, discussing iconic tracks such as:

• Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up": They reflect on the song's enduring popularity and its unexpected resurgence through internet memes.

  Frank Alvarez (52:09): "That's a great song to let you down."

• Macy Gray's "I Try": They analyze how this track captured the essence of Gray's unique voice and style.

  Joey Santagato (55:18): "Love that. James Blunt, you're beautiful."

• Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)": The duo discusses the catchy yet simplistic nature of the song that made it a memorable hit.

  Frank Alvarez (54:24): "Why do you say oh? Like, everyone knows Eiffel 65."

Throughout their discussion, Joe and Frank inject humor and personal anecdotes, making the exploration of one-hit wonders both informative and entertaining. They debate the definition of a one-hit wonder, considering artists like Vanilla Ice and discussing whether certain musicians qualify based on their subsequent works.

Joey Santagato (57:05): "Never heard another song."

---

Audience Interaction and Cultural Impact

The hosts touch upon the cultural impact of one-hit wonders, contemplating why certain songs remain in public memory despite the artists not maintaining commercial success. They explore themes such as the timing of song releases, marketing strategies, and the fickle nature of the music industry.

Frank Alvarez (35:00): "That's wild, dude. These things are built to last, Duralast."

Joe and Frank also reference various media appearances and performances by one-hit wonder artists, analyzing how these moments contribute to the songs' lasting impressions.

---

Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, Joe and Frank summarize their favorite one-hit wonders and express their appreciation for the memorable tracks that have left a mark on listeners. They also joke about the possibility of creating their own one-hit wonder, blending humor with genuine admiration for the artists discussed.

Joey Santagato (62:49): "James Blunt, you're beautiful. I..."

Frank Alvarez (63:41): "I think Travis Kelsey's a good looking dude."

The conversation wraps up with lighthearted exchanges, reinforcing the camaraderie between the hosts and leaving listeners with a sense of enjoyment and nostalgia.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Frank Alvarez (00:15): "Any celebrity smiles scare the shit out of you? And why was it Jack Nicholson's?"
• Joey Santagato (00:21): "I've never seen him smile."
• Frank Alvarez (03:13): "I had to kick her out. And she would call me on the phone screaming because of me."
• Frank Alvarez (52:09): "That's a great song to let you down."
• Joey Santagato (57:05): "Bro, when I was younger and I was like, holy lesbians. Like I had to tune in because..."
• Frank Alvarez (35:00): "That's wild, dude. These things are built to last, Duralast."
• Joey Santagato (62:49): "James Blunt, you're beautiful. I..."
• Frank Alvarez (63:41): "I think Travis Kelsey's a good looking dude."

---

Conclusion

Episode #471 of The Basement Yard masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on the phenomenon of one-hit wonders. Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez engage listeners with their dynamic chemistry, making the exploration of fleeting musical fame both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether you're a fan of nostalgic tracks or curious about the stories behind one-hit wonders, this episode offers a comprehensive and enjoyable listen.

Transcript

[Joey Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. What you got there, Frank? Besides that very strange smile? The very strange smile?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, be honest with me. Any celebrity smiles scare the out of you? And why was it Jack Nicholson's?

[Joey Santagato]

I've never seen him smile.

[Frank Alvarez]

You've never what?

[Joey Santagato]

That's a sense of never seen a smile. But, guys, there's new basement yard merch. Basement yard merch. Easy, spooky. It's me and Frank on the back with our signature drinks. If we were to get married, this is what our signature drinks would be.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? Why would mine be a green one with an eyeball and yours is just regular?

[Joey Santagato]

It's Halloween, so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but you have a regular espresso martini with three beans in there. Athena, what the hell are you trying to insinuate about?

[Joey Santagato]

The amount of caffeine is scary. Get your heart pumping.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you have no heart. Clearly you're a skeleton. But these. Halloween merch, available in tees and in crewnecks. Available Oct. 4 at shop.santagotto studios.com. and last year's Spooky season design is back on the site as a tee and hoodie. It's back. Back on the side as a tee and hoodie. As long as the hocus pocus land. Poetry tee. Limited time offer for all according to Greg here on the script. You know Greg loves to write scripts. Halloween merch. And then he included a little note to me saying, fuck you. So go check it out.

[Joey Santagato]

Pick your poison. We're dying for you to join us.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tell me you're gonna fucking lie and tell me that Jack Nicholson smile never scared the fucking piss out of you.

[Joey Santagato]

Where did he smile? Everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, he's just like, you know, like.

[Joey Santagato]

His joker smile scared the fuck out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that was a. That was makeup, brother. That wasn't real.

[Joey Santagato]

Thank you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like his real smile, bro. Look up Jack Nicholson smiling. It's fucking scary.

[Joey Santagato]

I'll be honest with you. Jack Nicholson just being where he is is scary enough for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, his whole aura.

[Joey Santagato]

Just when he's sitting at basketball games, you're like, what happens?

[Frank Alvarez]

He's still going to games.

[Joey Santagato]

He like, disappeared for like two years.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's up there. He's in his 80s. He's probably not like good old. Good old Jackie Nicks is not gonna be around much longer.

[Joey Santagato]

A legend but is wasting away.

[Frank Alvarez]

This guy's been acting for like 400 years. Something years. Yeah. You know, I don't think. What was the last time he was in a movie? What's the last movie you Remember Jack Nicholson in Departed?

[Joey Santagato]

No, that was so long ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

What has he been in after that?

[Joey Santagato]

I have no idea. What's the rom com he's in with the other?

[Frank Alvarez]

Something's Got to Give.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a good movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Diane Keaton.

[Joey Santagato]

Yo, Diane Keaton.

[Frank Alvarez]

By the way, you love pants. This dude loves women in pants. She loves to wear pants.

[Joey Santagato]

I think Diane Keaton is like an attractive older woman.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, she's all right. I mean, you know, like, if you were to, like, don't be a hater. I'm not being a hater.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not being a hater at all.

[Joey Santagato]

I'm not a hater right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not being a hater. What? Just because I'm saying, like, Diane Keaton isn't fucking. Yeah. You know where I stand. I think like, Susan Sarandon.

[Joey Santagato]

Diane Keaton is way hotter than Susan Sarandon. Susan, if you're watching this, you're also hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Beautiful women. Let's not just denigrate them and just, you know, just say they're both hot. Let's say beautiful women. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Joey Santagato]

Wow, what an ally.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. The clap coming from the person that's wearing a fucking windbreaker. Indoors. Indoors. Now he's got here.

[Joey Santagato]

We had an interview with People's magazine yesterday. Frankie showed up in sweatpants.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said you were showing up in sweatpants.

[Joey Santagato]

I was kidding.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I mean, it wasn't like a formal.

[Joey Santagato]

You. We actually. Is it on video. He's like, no, it's just in person. Recorder. I said sweatpants. It is, like, joking. Oh, a person is coming here and you're sweat panning.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mean. First of all, I still look at.

[Joey Santagato]

Your sweatpants on, bitch.

[Frank Alvarez]

I still look nice. Don't even get fucking. Don't do this.

[Joey Santagato]

Sweatpants.

[Frank Alvarez]

You bitch about. Did you complain about my sweatpants?

[Joey Santagato]

No, I did not.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're doing it right now. You fucking lie.

[Joey Santagato]

Because you're coming at me.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're right. We have to. You know, we take shots back and forth at each other. Back to Jack Nicholson departed. Last thing I remember him in.

[Joey Santagato]

I could look hymen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Last thing I remember his hymen in.

[Joey Santagato]

Should we get into a conversation about hymens? Because I don't really know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I don't know much about hymen.

[Joey Santagato]

I've never done that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You've never done hymen?

[Joey Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is that? I don't even know.

[Joey Santagato]

I've never, like, done a hymen up. Like, I've never done it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like taken one?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what you're referencing.

[Joey Santagato]

Never done that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, no plans. No plans. That's not what. I'm not trying to say, like, no plans of doing that. Plans. But I'm just saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like hymens.

[Joey Santagato]

Is it. Is it like a dental dam? How do you picture it looks?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. And I have no desire to find out. I'll be very honest with you.

[Joey Santagato]

But let's have a discussion.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just more like a. Like a.

[Joey Santagato]

Is it a blockade?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I think it's like a metaphorical flower. Like, is it actually there?

[Joey Santagato]

Okay. Flower is wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean? Like, it's like. It's like the border. Is the border actually there between states? That's what I meant. Borders between state. I know. Like the north and south border.

[Joey Santagato]

I was like, yeah, there's a border.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I know. You worked real hard to get it built. All right, I.

[Joey Santagato]

That's enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just saying, like. Like, all these lines. Who the hell figures out these lines and states, by the way? You know what I mean? Where they're just like, bro.

[Joey Santagato]

Also, like, you ever look at Oklahoma?

[Frank Alvarez]

What the. Is that little handle?

[Joey Santagato]

The little cigar?

[Frank Alvarez]

Some shit happens there.

[Joey Santagato]

You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know what the hell happened.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. Who the fuck, like, who lives in the cigar?

[Frank Alvarez]

It looks like a meat cleaver.

[Joey Santagato]

It does look like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. I don't trust that whole state for a couple of different reasons. One of them. One of them being whatever the hell happens there.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. Why is it shaped that way?

[Frank Alvarez]

It scares me.

[Joey Santagato]

Have you ever straddled state lines?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, stood on it?

[Joey Santagato]

Look, I'm in two places at once.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I didn't.

[Joey Santagato]

What's that movie that did that? Oh, it was a rom com.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't.

[Joey Santagato]

I'm big on your rom.

[Frank Alvarez]

Common today.

[Joey Santagato]

I'm common romantically. Oh, what's his name? Something. Shane. Something Dawson. Not Shane Dawson. Shane Gillis West. Is that an actor?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know from back.

[Joey Santagato]

Mandy Moore. Remember the walk. Walk the Line. No, I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

There it is. Okay. I was gonna say I know the movie. I just wanted to see how. That's Johnny Cash. That's a good movie, too.

[Joey Santagato]

A Walk to Wait. I Walk to Remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

I Walk to Remember is Mandy Moore, and she's got stuff.

[Joey Santagato]

And then she's dying.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'm pretty sure. Is that for the rest of the world?

[Joey Santagato]

Movies from, like, 1998? I think there's no spoilers from, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

2003, but, you know, close enough.

[Joey Santagato]

But I think in that movie, I could be completely wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

She, like, straddles both lines.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, you guys, like, stand right here, whatever his name is, and he's like, see, now you're in two places at once. Because she had, like, a diary where she wrote, like, a bucket list or some. And one of them was, be in two places at once, bro. I get that.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like, maybe this woman should have died sooner. Like, be in two places at once.

[Joey Santagato]

How is that, like, on your list?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, how fucking boring is your list?

[Joey Santagato]

That's like putting being visible on it, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly. You know, but then there is ways to be invisible. You ever. People that do, like, the whole, like, they paint them into a wall and stuff like that. Oh, that's pretty cool. There's, like. I think he's a Japanese.

[Joey Santagato]

That's not invisible.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're. I mean, the closest thing we'll get.

[Joey Santagato]

Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, like, there's, like, a Japanese artist who, like, stand. Like, someone will, like. Someone will paint, like, the, like, trees and stuff behind them so it looks like they're a part of there. It's pretty cool.

[Joey Santagato]

That is cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

But Jack Nicholson, how we back there? Why not?

[Joey Santagato]

What do you want to do?

[Frank Alvarez]

Terrifying smile. Okay, you're gonna tell me that's not scary.

[Joey Santagato]

Where is this going? Because you've came back to this.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a scary smile Shit. His son is in the new movie Smile, the sequel to Smile. That's where. That's.

[Joey Santagato]

Are you, like, paid by this movie to plug it or something? Because I'll be.

[Frank Alvarez]

That scared the shit out of me. I don't like that. Especially since we're talking about a scary movie. No, but if Smile. I mean, smile, too. If you want to throw somebody my way, go for it. I haven't seen the first one. I heard it was pretty good, though.

[Joey Santagato]

I didn't see it, but I did see all their.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it was with Kevin Bacon's daughter. The daughter of Bacon?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. I didn't. I don't know who that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't know who Kevin.

[Joey Santagato]

I know Kevin is. I know the Bacon.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you feel about Kevin Bacon? There's a guy, He's.

[Joey Santagato]

Sand lot. That's him, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sandlot.

[Joey Santagato]

He's the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, the dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, those were all kids.

[Joey Santagato]

I get him and the other guy mixed up. Who's in Mystic River?

[Frank Alvarez]

Tim Robbins. Robbins, the guy from Shawshank?

[Joey Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wasn't he in Mystic River. Now I'm confused.

[Joey Santagato]

Mystic river is the cop is what I'm talking about. Not like Sean Penn.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna look up. Not Sean Penn and Mystic.

[Joey Santagato]

What's his name? I can't remember, but he reminds me of Kevin Bacon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude. Dave boy. Well, Kevin Bacon's also in Mystic River.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, that's Kevin Bacon. So, Sail, that's not the right one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who are you thinking?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't even know. Now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, that's bacon. Fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who is the dad? I thought the dad is Kevin Bacon.

[Joey Santagato]

No, it's some other guy who looks like Kevin Bacon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dennis Leary.

[Joey Santagato]

Dennis Lear.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're confusing me.

[Joey Santagato]

Dennis Leary looks like Kevin Bacon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dennis Leary.

[Joey Santagato]

He's got vibes. He's got bacon vibes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bit of bacon vibes.

[Joey Santagato]

That's where I was get. That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

They have a little bit of bacon. We're all over the place. See, you had confused me for a while. I was just like, yeah, wait a sec. He is the dad. And then.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, they look the same kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do kind of. You know, a little bit. But Tim Robbins is also in mystic river, so I was.

[Joey Santagato]

Who the fuck is that? Dave Boyle.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Oh, okay. You really know Mystic River.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, you remember Dave Boyle, so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, I was gonna say, like, yeah, guys. Full fucking name.

[Joey Santagato]

What's that guy? Shank?

[Frank Alvarez]

Shawshank. Tim Robin Robbins. Shawshank.

[Joey Santagato]

Who's the guy with the big hands who's like, you can do anything? Tony Robbins. That's that.

[Frank Alvarez]

The big hands and big teeth. That guy. That guy's Tony Robbins, bro.

[Joey Santagato]

Bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

That guy will bite through an aluminum truck.

[Joey Santagato]

I'm legitimately. I think that his.

[Frank Alvarez]

Speaking of scary smiles, I think that.

[Joey Santagato]

His teeth are made out of elephant tusks. And he's 10 foot tall and his hands are way too big.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, guys. Big.

[Joey Santagato]

And he's motivating and he does a good job. I've never heard him. I've never sat there and how do.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know he's done? He's doing good. How do you know?

[Joey Santagato]

Cuz he was in Shallow Hal and that was a good movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a little bit of a problematic movie now that we look back on.

[Joey Santagato]

It doesn't age too well. Ages like mayonnaise, but it's fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, this fat pig.

[Joey Santagato]

Like, there's no way you could love this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who the hell's gonna love this? Dumb fat fucking loser. Chill out. Jack Black.

[Joey Santagato]

And then Jack Black's a hero of being like, I actually like her, cuz.

[Frank Alvarez]

Of her. Yeah. By the way, Jack Black. Notably not like, the slimmest guy on the fucking.

[Joey Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know?

[Joey Santagato]

Well, that was part of the joke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And then also, Jason Alexander is a tail.

[Joey Santagato]

He has a tail in that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a good movie, though. She doesn't break a steel chair.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a bit. It's a bit of a problematic movie. Looking back on it right now. Like, we are well aware that it is not nice. But. Yeah. Speaking of scary smiles, Tony Robbins on there.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. Well, he just has scary teeth. He's got horse.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we haven't been able to confirm where the. You know, the prosthetic teeth from the mask, you know, the 1994 or 394 smash hit, my favorite movie of all time, where it went. Tony Robbins. Possible, right? What, you think you'd ever be, like, a motivational speaker?

[Joey Santagato]

One, no. Two, What? You just said a whole thing about Tony Robbins. Is he in the mask? No. Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm saying the teeth from that movie might have been put in his mouth.

[Joey Santagato]

What's the teeth from that movie? Oh, Jim Carrey's teeth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, the teeth.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on, baby. Follow. Catch up.

[Joey Santagato]

We're not making a whole bunch of sense. That was probably the most confusing way to get from Kevin Bacon to Tony Robbins ever.

[Frank Alvarez]

People play. I love playing that game. Six Degrees, it's called. Oh.

[Joey Santagato]

Like, try to get your way to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where it's, like, through, like, movies or tv. You need to, like, work through, you know, like, connecting, like, six people, like two people. It's pretty fun. And, like, people can do it, and it's just like, the most insane people that, like, you would never in a million years even think of connecting. Like, I remember I did one that it was like Richard Simmons to, like, Ben Stiller.

[Joey Santagato]

Richard Simmons is the workout guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

He just died, R.I.P.

[Frank Alvarez]

He did die. Guess that the workouts didn't work.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, he. It worked out. I mean, he's died old, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

How old could he have been?

[Joey Santagato]

He looked old back then.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, how old was Richard Simmons? I don't got.

[Joey Santagato]

I would say. I would say 78.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not that old.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, that's a. That's like the average.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it? I feel like the average in the 80s now.

[Joey Santagato]

No, for women, maybe, but for men, it's like somebody.

[Frank Alvarez]

Women are smarter. They live longer.

[Joey Santagato]

You could. Do they drink a lot less scotch and cigarettes.

[Frank Alvarez]

You drinking cigarettes?

[Joey Santagato]

No, I do drink scotch and cigarettes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I don't drink cigarettes. I do. I've had scotch. I Don't like, have it enough to say I do that. You know what I mean?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, yet there's still time. Honestly, you know, we might. We might just turn a corner and.

[Joey Santagato]

I feel like you are gonna get to the point in your life where you're really gonna appreciate a recliner and you're gonna drink.

[Frank Alvarez]

Already there, baby.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, I'm saying, like, you're gonna drink scotch, you're gonna grow out like a big beard. No cigars in the house, first of all.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely not. If I start ripping cigars in the house, like, we're in for trouble. Like, things have gone. Yeah, yeah, I know. I've never smoked a cigar in. No, that's not true. I have smoked a cigar indoors at a cigar bar. Yeah. But like, I've never like, smoked a cigar in my car or like, it's always been out. Oh, no, that's also not true. I used to.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, no, you're going to hate this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to. When I was working at Target in the mornings, I would. I would have a. Frankie.

[Joey Santagato]

You would have a cigar in the morning. Like you're an old Italian football coach. Before. Before his shift at Target, he would sit outside with a cigar. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, I would get the cigarellos, so they didn't last as long. But I would like in the car, because that's when I had. I had a.

[Joey Santagato]

You were blowing them in the car. Oh, my God. Wait, windows up or down?

[Frank Alvarez]

Down, babe.

[Joey Santagato]

Yo, you're a pig. That's pretty bad. I'm not, you know, that's bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I was a pig. I am no longer a pig.

[Joey Santagato]

The funniest part about that is you were 24.

[Frank Alvarez]

He was 24 years old.

[Joey Santagato]

Smoking cigars in the morning in his car before his shipped at Target.

[Frank Alvarez]

What a piece of 23. 24. 23 is insane.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't think that it should be allowed. I think that like, the age limit on cigars should be like.

[Frank Alvarez]

At least now that I look back on it. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. It spoke volumes of how I felt working at Target. Wow. And he was stressed. Stressful job, you know, a lot going on. So naturally, as you're on your way at 6 in the morning to Target.

[Joey Santagato]

6Am A 6am cigars dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow.

[Joey Santagato]

I've. You know, I never really realized, hey.

[Frank Alvarez]

I worked every day from 7 to 5.

[Joey Santagato]

I never. Wait, what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Every day? My ship. My.

[Joey Santagato]

Every day.

[Frank Alvarez]

Every day.

[Joey Santagato]

Monday.

[Frank Alvarez]

So Monday, 7 to 5. Tuesday was my off day. Wednesday. Why'd you do this because they. The way that they, like, schedule the work week. It's fucking weird. Wednesday it was my closing shift, so I went from 2 until basically midnight. And then Thursday was 7 to 5, Friday was 7 to 5, and then Saturdays and Sundays, mostly 7 to 5. Sometimes I'd go in at 2am Jesus, you think I was fucking lying? They worked those motherfuckers. Heart. I don't know how I said hard there.

[Joey Santagato]

Heart. Said it like fucking Daffy Duck suckering succotash.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, that's not Daffy Duck.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know who that is, actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it Daffy Duck?

[Joey Santagato]

No, it's suffering. Suffering.

[Frank Alvarez]

Suffering. Suck attached. That is Daffy Duck.

[Joey Santagato]

Or is it the Sylvester Stolt? Not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that is Sylvester. You're right. It is Sylvester the Cat.

[Joey Santagato]

Suffering.

[Frank Alvarez]

Suffering. Suck attached.

[Joey Santagato]

Their monster Space Jam.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're. Yeah, that was a good one.

[Joey Santagato]

Stars.

[Frank Alvarez]

What were we talking about?

[Joey Santagato]

How you were a slave to Target.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

I didn't know that you worked every day.

[Frank Alvarez]

So the way that they did it was the work week was Sunday to Saturday too crazy.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't think. Yo, I barely care and I know you. I don't think that anyone cares about your.

[Frank Alvarez]

You either got the Sunday and Tuesday off or you got the Tuesday and Saturday off. So, like, you technically worked full weekends every other weekend. It was fucking hard. It was tough, man.

[Joey Santagato]

Dude, you know the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, of course. On the work. On the way to work. It's 6:15, 6:20 in the morning.

[Joey Santagato]

Time to light up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just nice Cohibo, you know? It was nice.

[Joey Santagato]

Dude, I. I remember the last time that I went to Target, my cashier, I was like, checking out. She was super friendly, like this Indian woman. Multiple Van Cleef necklaces and bracelets. Thousands of dollars. The fucking necklace is probably $10,000. The bracelet's like six. She had multiple.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you know they were real? Did you check them?

[Joey Santagato]

That is fair.

[Frank Alvarez]

You have your diamond tester on.

[Joey Santagato]

My diamond tester. But they looked like the fucking ones. It looked like she was just like.

[Frank Alvarez]

There to help a lot of people, you know, like, they're loaded, but they're.

[Joey Santagato]

Like, my kids are out. I just want to get.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do something and work. So, like, yeah, they fucking. You know, they get after it. Good for them, honestly. But there was a woman. Oh, my God. I don't know if I ever told you this. There was a woman who would come into the Target I worked at and would, like, try to get deals. She was known like, I don't try to get deals. I Don't remember exactly what her name was, but she was like an older, like. Like you would imagine. Not decrepit, like gross.

[Joey Santagato]

Like white.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. But, you know, there's other stuff too. But, like, you remember how, like, you know, like the, like, actresses and like the 50s would dress and stuff like that. And you know, like, they would have like all scarves and they'd wear one around their arms and like, it hang off the side.

[Joey Santagato]

Like Steven Tyler.

[Frank Alvarez]

Technically. Yes. Like Steven Tyler. Yeah. But she would like, oh, got it. Look at that. She would come in and she'd be like, oh, I want this bedspread. But I only want the blanket, so just take it out. And she would like, say what? Yeah, she'd say names of people like that, man. Like, oh, this manager told me it's good. And we'd be like, no, wait.

[Joey Santagato]

So she wanted to buy stuff, but there was. I don't need the comforter. Just literally and deduct the price.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, psychotic. Psychotic. And I had to kick her out. And she would call me on the. Like, she'd call the store and she'd be like, I'm walking around my 10,000 square foot house screaming at the top of my lungs because of you. I've never felt this. I'm gonna call the CEO and I'm like, fucking, go ahead, call the CEO.

[Joey Santagato]

Get me fired. Do me a favor.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just Target, man. Insane. Why do you think I was ripping fucking. You know, Romeo and Juliet's on the way to fucking. What is that? Cigars, babe, come on.

[Joey Santagato]

Where you been, Romeo? I don't know, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had them several times.

[Joey Santagato]

Romeo and Juliet's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, a nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dab it off in the car. Just like fucking like getting pissed, listening to fucking Elvis Duran, bro.

[Joey Santagato]

I never knew truly. How sad you.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was bad. It was bad. It was.

[Joey Santagato]

That is hysterical.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't do it every day. I did it a handful of times, but way more than once, which is the issue. You know what I mean?

[Joey Santagato]

That's like me. I went to that hookah pen phase.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did. And you went through a black and mild phase.

[Joey Santagato]

That was like four days.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a loaded four days.

[Joey Santagato]

And it was also on the heels of the hookah pen. And then I was like, what am I even doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hookah pen is way worse than cigars. Let's just admit that.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't even know how I got to that point. Cause I didn't. I don't like hookah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I've never seen you smoke a legit hookah pipe.

[Joey Santagato]

I'VE smoked hookah a handful of times.

[Frank Alvarez]

You guys gotta understand something. I don't know if anyone else has the same experience, but where we're from, there was. It was like an entire. How else? I don't know how else to explain it, but like an entire like hookah was like a way of life for like kids when we were in high school and middle school and stuff like that. So like going out to a hookah bar was like way fucking cooler than like clubbing and shit like that for like two years.

[Joey Santagato]

It was also like little fucking Morocco, basically.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was that block in the story. Yeah, that shit was.

[Joey Santagato]

There was like five hookah bars right next it really.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you couldn't walk or drive or anything be within that block without getting a headache because it was just absolutely.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, you were going to smell some blueberry hookah or some shit like that, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember I went to a hookah bar. I've been to a hookah hookah bar a handful of times. Times. One time in particular there was a, like, clearly like a 17 year old Moroccan kid that we knew who like handed me the hookah pipe and I was like, no, thank you. And he's like, it's milk flavored. And I was like, ew, what world let me smoke milk? It was like. It was like a weird culty thing amongst like our friends who, by the way, none of which were of Arabic descent or spoke Arabic, you know, or Indian or.

[Joey Santagato]

I like depends because I was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was bad Joey. But that was back when those vaping things that look like fucking chargers came out. You remember those things? Oh, yeah. You were blowing fat O's.

[Joey Santagato]

No, I've never put my mouth on one of those. Honestly.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you sure about where to God, Never sober.

[Joey Santagato]

I never did any. I've only really did the pension. There were times where like, I've hit people's jewels before, but like I was. I never bought a jewel. I never like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, I never. I never hit a Jewel because I knew from the get go, like, something's evil about this shit.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Lo and behold. I mean, yeah, there's been some stuff.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, it's not really a really difficult call to make.

[Frank Alvarez]

Anything you're smoking is introduced as like a healthier alternative to cigarettes.

[Joey Santagato]

Technically I think that's true, but also just bad in a different way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you're not smoking rat poison, you're smoking fucking shards of aluminum.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know the ingredient list.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, all hearsay, by the way.

[Joey Santagato]

We don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

We don't know. This is all possible, but the juul.

[Joey Santagato]

Phase was a little crazy. Now it's all about those Zins.

[Frank Alvarez]

Speaking of zins, I've never done a Zen before. I've never done a Zen. And it's funny because we were in Texas and imagine like, yo, you know, like, I feel so good not smoking. Like, I think I'm gonna completely give it up. Like, it's just like, I feel like it'd be better for me. I was like, start with the nicotine pouches, brother. I was like, the weed might be okay for you. Like, the nicotine pouches, I can almost guarantee are not.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, I don't know anything about anything, so I have no idea. But I don't know. I don't think it takes scientists to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Realize that putting a pouch of concentrated nicotine into your mouth, into your. Shoving it into your gums, is not good for you.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, I can't. I can't do it. Sorry. Anyway, we do have some sponsors for today that aren't that company. We have never had that company. Not anymore. Not after that. No hookah pens. But we do have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a all in one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pond, in your pocket, by helping you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. So if you're like me or anybody out there, really, you know, you've signed up for things before. If you've, like, started paying for a service and then you're like, you know what? I haven't used this in months. And you can just cancel those things now and put the money back in your pocket. I mean, they have saved 5 million users, a total of 500 million in cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. So people are clearly out there saving money using Rocket Rocket Money because it's helping you kind of put all your expenses out in front of you and see what you're buying and what you could pull back on. There's also a budgeting tool. There's also a tool that can help lower your bills. So it's all about just, you know, some financial discipline here and just going to cancel the things that you don't actually use so you can just have more money at the end of the year. Don't give it away for things you're not even using. So, yeah, you can stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocketmoney.com basement. Okay, that is Rocketmoney.com/basement. All right, this is important. You know, don't, don't give your money away, all right? For no reason. For things you're not even using, things you don't even care about anymore. Go to rocket money.com basement right now. And yeah, definitely go put that money back in your pocket. And we also have zocdoc. Okay, Time to be an adult. All right. I don't know, you know, about you guys, but there was a time in my life when my mom would just bring me to the doctor and that's my doctor, barely know the doctor's name. I don't really know where the hospital is, but that's where I go because I get in the car with my mama and she takes me. So at the point in my life where I was like, all right, you're on your own. You have your own insurance. I was like, who's my doctor? Because I don't think this one takes my insurance anymore. Or blah, blah, blah. With Zocdoc, this is how I did it. Even before they were a sponsor on the show, this is the platform that I use. You go on, it's a free website or an app and you plug in your insurance and then it will show you doctors who are patient reviewed in your area and it will show you their name, next available appointment. And it's usually within 48 hours. So it's a pretty quick turnaround. And like I said, they're patient reviewed. So they're these ratings that you're seeing are from patients being like, oh, I had a good experience there or a bad experience there. So you can trust it. But yeah, so this is the platform you want to use if you need to see a specialist of any kind or if you want to just see a primary care physician, you can do all that. You literally put in which doctor you want to see what your insurance is. Then I'll show you the ones in your area that take your insurance and their next available appointment. So I've used this before. I think it's great. I think everyone should use it. I always recommend it to people that are like, oh, who's your doctor for this and that. I was like, dude, I just use ZocDoc. Honestly, they're talking about there's an in network appointments, more than 100,000 health grade providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care, skincare, and much more. Okay, so stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Zocdoc spelled Z O C D O C.com basement right now. Okay, so go to it.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you know what? If you're feeling a little down and you don't want to get medical help, maybe, well, you should probably also you should go check out the basementyard. Patreon.patreon.com the basement yard. That was a stupid intro. But listen, I want to roll with it because if it ain't stupid, it ain't Frank. You know what I'm saying? Patreon.com abasemanyarn that's where you get more of us. A little more diluted version of us too, where it gets a little crazy. Sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly. You hear that? That's the pinky ring telling you, baby, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And the second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. And I mean, you know, there's more, there's more benefits. You can go on there and you can read all of them. We are constantly growing and we are constantly thanking you and I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop. So thank you guys for helping us continue to grow, not only as the show as a whole, but also on Patreon. So patreon.com the basement yard if you're feeling nasty and if you're seeing this on Patreon. We have two more shows left and they're at Radio City. And you know, we can't thank you guys enough for the love and the support. It has been an absolutely incredible year. It's been a wild ride. The only opportunity, you know, the only reason we've been given these opportunities is because of everyone that has watched and supported and shared and stuff like that. So sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you so much. We really appreciate it. We're excited for these shows and we're excited to see what's next for the Basement Yard.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, I do have a question, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joey Santagato]

The expression from the bottom of my heart, what I think, what does that mean? Why not just from the whole, like, from my, like from my heart, but with the bottom of my heart. What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because what if it's from the top of your heart? You know what I mean?

[Joey Santagato]

The bottom is usually like the oldest. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but think about it. Like, let's think about it in terms of your dick.

[Joey Santagato]

Let's think about.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's think like.

[Joey Santagato]

Wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's not think about it. Let's think about It.

[Joey Santagato]

In terms of oysters, would you eat the bottom or the barrel oysters? Probably not.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. But no one's saying the bottom barrel of my heart. Someone is just saying, like, the bottom of my heart, meaning the entirety of it. Think about it like this. I've said it again in terms of your dick. Like, who's gonna want your. Like your tiny little dick head? You know what I mean? Nobody. They want the bottom of your dick shaft. That's what they want.

[Joey Santagato]

No, they want the whole thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly. So from the bottom, which means from the shaft all the way up to your tiny little fucking cockhead.

[Joey Santagato]

But you're not saying that.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all.

[Joey Santagato]

Stop saying that. But you can say from the. From the. From my feet to my head or whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

From the bottom of my feet.

[Joey Santagato]

No one says that all the way up. No one says from the bottom of my feet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bottom of my heart. It went all the way up. Think about it. From the bottom of my tank to the top of my tank. Let's think of it in terms of gas. Like, what would someone say? Be like, I'll give you everything from the top of my tank.

[Joey Santagato]

No, no, you would say the whole tank. That's what you would say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, for my whole heart, you could say that. But that's not what people are saying. People are.

[Joey Santagato]

That's my question, you dumbass. You're trying to make this make sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm trying to make it logical here.

[Joey Santagato]

It's not logical.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm trying to make it just to.

[Joey Santagato]

Say from the bottom of my heart. That is singling out the bottom portion and saying from the bottom, but it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

From there, which means it had to travel all the way up.

[Joey Santagato]

Unless you took it from the bottom.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, oh, from. From, you know, from Astoria to here. You had to travel all through all that way.

[Joey Santagato]

Frank, you're forgetting. If someone just said.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not forgetting. I just don't care.

[Joey Santagato]

No, clearly you care. You say from Astoria all the way here. But you would have to specify that, because if you said from here, it's from there. That's it.

[Frank Alvarez]

From the bottom of my heart all the way through the top of my.

[Joey Santagato]

No one says that.

[Frank Alvarez]

From the bottom of my heart to you. I love you. Like, that's what that means. From the bottom, you're getting, like.

[Joey Santagato]

No one says like you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Reserves. That's what it means. Like, from the bottom of my tank, from whatever's left over all the way to the top, you're getting the reserves of all leftovers. And the reserves you're Getting all of it. You're getting all of the love. It's a full heart. I want heart.

[Joey Santagato]

Give me the top. I want the top of the heart.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you only want to skim off the top. You only want that weird fucking film that's on the top of things.

[Joey Santagato]

First of all, when you pour things out, it goes from the top down. You don't go bottom up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Does it? Yeah. Or does it come under?

[Joey Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, shit.

[Joey Santagato]

I think it's both, actually. It funnels into.

[Frank Alvarez]

I honestly don't even know, dude.

[Joey Santagato]

But I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, how are you pouring then? Because if you're pouring using a funnel and the funnels on the bottom, it's cut. You're getting the best from the bottom, then the top is the shit that you don't want.

[Joey Santagato]

Dude, I actually. The reason why it's an expression that's a little weird to me. But there was a time that I went to this bar out on Long island, and I think I was with Greg, and I was with Thomas, and I was like, can we get oysters? And they were like, yeah, we don't. We don't have a dozen. We only have, like, eight left. But we'll only charge you for six. So it's the last eight that we have. And we're like, oh, sound good?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I know.

[Joey Santagato]

And we ordered them, bro. These things, not good, bro. They look like fucking PCL and MCLs in a fucking. It was disgusting. And I was like, this is not good. That's bottom of the barrel for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, with fish, you don't want the bottom of the barrel. Because with fish and. Or seafood, bottom of the barrel is all like, they're dead down there.

[Joey Santagato]

But, like, also when people say, like, you know, bottom of the barrel, they're talking about, like, the worst of the. Whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, when people. What you're referencing is, like, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, which means you're trying to get every last bit of something that's where the bottom.

[Joey Santagato]

That's bottom, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

But sometimes bottom could be good. I know. Like, you always say that you love being a bottle.

[Joey Santagato]

You said you're a power bottle.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said, Joey, you said. You said, thank God I'd be bottom.

[Joey Santagato]

You know what you said? And you were like, yo, I hope someone. You were like, I hope someone scrapes the bottom of my barrel.

[Frank Alvarez]

That doesn't sound like even something that would make a modicum of sense. You said. You said, and I quote the word.

[Joey Santagato]

You just used by modicum. Modicum, Modicum, monicum.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stop what you're doing. Because you, Joey said, and I quote, like, I love being the bottom of this barrel.

[Joey Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

And the barrel was a guy named Daryl. So you loved being bottomed by a Darryl the Barrel. No, that's the guy you met on Fire island, right? Darryl the Barrel who bottoms little boys named Joe. Okay, I should probably back up a little bit. Yeah, let's back up a little. Twinks also seems a little you. He bottoms you. Is that better?

[Joey Santagato]

This joke sucks.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sucking.

[Joey Santagato]

Make the transition. Go. Say it. Say what you're going to say. Speaking of sucking. What? Say it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Say it.

[Joey Santagato]

It's written right there on my laptop, so just say it if that's how you're going to make the transition. Right there. Say it. Say that.

[Frank Alvarez]

There'S a lot of stuff coming out about Diddy.

[Joey Santagato]

A lot of stuff coming about Pete did.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, listen, we don't want to make fun of the potential alleged real life crimes. The non criminal stuff is the stuff we're going to talk about.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, we don't know if it's non criminal. It could be complicit in crimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

It could be.

[Joey Santagato]

But like a thousand bottles of baby oil is insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

785 dildos.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, I thought it was like thousands.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever.

[Joey Santagato]

Maybe it was 700 more than five dildos. Yeah, seven and even five is a stretch. 700 dildos.

[Frank Alvarez]

700. Potentially 800.

[Joey Santagato]

How many dildos do you think a woman has through the course of her life?

[Frank Alvarez]

Four maybe.

[Joey Santagato]

When do you get them?

[Frank Alvarez]

I.

[Joey Santagato]

Your first one and then your second one is like in college.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're getting real gross with where that first one. The timeline of that first one.

[Joey Santagato]

Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just saying, when would that, like, so what, they get to college and then they. With one and then they have another one?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know. I think I just. How many do they have?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't even know when they get them. I'm saying, and this is, I would say during a lifetime, four more than that is insane.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't think it's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

More than four.

[Joey Santagato]

You're not gonna have four at the same time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but I'm saying more than four.

[Joey Santagato]

Dildies in your whole life.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's wild, dude. These things are built to last, Duralast.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, but it's not about building to last. The technology changes and you're like, oh, this one grabs the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but you know, sometimes a good old fashioned dildo does the trick. Like, you don't need to. Not for me personally.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, no, I think, I honestly think it's probably closer to, like six.

[Frank Alvarez]

Insane. Anything over four, I think is crazy. Dude.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't think it's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you know what? We're not taking into account varietals, you know? And that's what I mean. So, like, what is considered a dildo?

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, oh, oh. I'll. Okay, so we'll go dills. Dills and vibes. And vibes as well.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's good old vibes. Good old fashioned vibes.

[Joey Santagato]

Six or seven between the dills and the vibes. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll say that.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

As a. As a collective experience. A dill vibe of a vibe. Dill.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I think six or seven is okay.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

700.

[Joey Santagato]

700 is, like, a lot. That's enough for a hundred women in a lifetime.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's right.

[Joey Santagato]

That's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

And also, have you ever in your life, and be honest with me here, okay. Have you ever in your life purchased unbottle of baby oil?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know. I don't think.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't think so, right? No, not a single one.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't oil myself up. I don't know what baby oil is used for. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like. I'm sure people use it for, like, massages.

[Joey Santagato]

I know, but. I know, but it's called baby oil, so I'm assuming it's like. Because babies get, like. They get really bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

They get dry skin and eczema. Like that. Oh, shit. I didn't even think of that.

[Joey Santagato]

So I figured that's why, like, you gotta, like, fucking oil the baby up. Because he's. They're always like, yeah, nieces, nephews, they have eczema. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, their skin comes out very. You know, it's. It's very fresh.

[Joey Santagato]

A baby skin is so, like. It's like almost. It feels like a caterpillar.

[Frank Alvarez]

It does. It does. Yes. Yes.

[Joey Santagato]

A little soft and, like, hairy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. There's a lot of peach fuzz on that shit.

[Joey Santagato]

And it's like, what is this?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, so I could see what. But like, a thousand.

[Joey Santagato]

Thousand's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thousand. Dude, what is baby oil made of? Is it edible oil? Edible, like olive oil or vegetable oil or.

[Joey Santagato]

It's not vegetable oil. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

But then it would be organic.

[Joey Santagato]

What. What is baby. I think it's made out of babies, Joey. I've had better jokes. My, my. It won't open. So I think that we're just gonna have to. There it goes. What is baby oil made of first? First thing it says here is mayonnaise. Get the fuck out of Here, I'm making that up. It hasn't even loaded yet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know what's going on with my compute. Oh, oh, here we go. It's mainly made of mineral oil, which is colorless, odorless, and tasteless hydrocarbon refined from petroleum. Oh, holy shit. It was petrol.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, so a thousand bottles is basically like. You can use that as gasoline, it sounds like.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, I don't think you could use it as gasoline.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. And you saw his lawyer was just like, he has a thousand bottles of baby oil because he buys them in bulk.

[Joey Santagato]

How big are the crates?

[Frank Alvarez]

Also?

[Joey Santagato]

1,000.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have bought from someone who regularly shops at Costco. I've bought things in bulk.

[Joey Santagato]

Mm.

[Frank Alvarez]

The amount of items you need to buy to get that much bulk is crazy. Like, think about, like, bulk in, like, eggs from Costco. You can get like, maybe like 120 as a package. So then you need to buy 10 of those packages. Like, that's crazy.

[Joey Santagato]

I think that he's robbing trucks. I think that because 1000. Where would you even fucking put that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's Diddy. I presume he has an abundance of.

[Joey Santagato]

Space, but then you have to dedicate a whole fucking room to just baby oil.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, if you think about it in terms of storage. Let's look at a bookshelf. Okay, a bookshelf. If you can have a bookshelf that holds five bottles deep, 20 bottles across, that's a hundred bottles a shelf. So now you just need 10 shelves.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a ton, Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but I'm just. I'm thinking out loud here, babe. I'm trying to think if. If I were to buy a thousand bottles of baby oil, I don't think.

[Joey Santagato]

You could do a five. Deep shelf. That's a deep shelf, Frank. When was the last time you looked at a fucking baby oil bottle?

[Frank Alvarez]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. All right, so maybe. But, like, they make deep shelves. I assume you could also get, like, custom made shelves if you're Mr. Mr. Did Combs.

[Joey Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I use his government there. But that's a. That's a lot, dude.

[Joey Santagato]

It's way too much. Way too much baby oil.

[Frank Alvarez]

It also doesn't help him with all the other stories that have come out.

[Joey Santagato]

I am ready to say that, yeah. If you have a thousand bottles of baby oil, there's. I don't know whether the things he's accused of are true or not, but I know that that is definitely an indication there is something going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

You don't get to have a thousand bottles of baby oil.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, obviously we're going to let. We're going to let the criminal justice system do its job before we make any comments on the alleged crimes. But something is going on with all that.

[Joey Santagato]

Something's going on. A lot of fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

No one has that. Like if you walked into a house and they had a thousand of anything.

[Joey Santagato]

You're up to something.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're up to something.

[Joey Santagato]

You're up to something. Yeah, and it's. And it's not good either.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it's just. It's just you're curious.

[Joey Santagato]

I mean, unless he's trying to build the world's biggest slip and slide.

[Frank Alvarez]

But then you wouldn't get them in individual bottles, babe. You would get them like delivered in like vats or hoses.

[Joey Santagato]

Frank. I don't know that hoses.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can. I imagine you, you can't buy a.

[Joey Santagato]

Hose fold with something filled with something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine if you have a certain amount of money and. Or power, you can contact you back up a truck. Let's say Johnson and Johnson, because that's. Those are the baby oil people, right?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you say, I need you to show up with a vat of baby oil. I need to hook up a hose to it and I need to be able to spray it out of this hose. They'll say, here's the cost, we'll make it work for you. Money talks.

[Joey Santagato]

Sounds like you went down this road before.

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't been down that slippery slope. I am just saying that I imagine.

[Joey Santagato]

Have you ever slid on baby oil?

[Frank Alvarez]

I swear in my life, I don't think I've ever been in contact with baby oil. Knowingly. Knowingly. Like if it.

[Joey Santagato]

You've never had baby oil around, you don't have.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not that I know of. We've never had it for the kids.

[Joey Santagato]

Really.

[Frank Alvarez]

Never.

[Joey Santagato]

No. Eczema.

[Frank Alvarez]

They did have. Yes, they did.

[Joey Santagato]

So how do you.

[Frank Alvarez]

We had this other. It was. It was like CMOS lotion and like, you know, there's a cheap plug here, I guess Cerave, you know, they were, they were there. We use them a lot.

[Joey Santagato]

They helped out, but no oils.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, La Roche helped out a lot too.

[Joey Santagato]

I gotta say, I think baby oil also like ruins your clothes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah, if you get baby oil on your clothes, I imagine your clothes. Like you get any oil on your clothes, your clothes are. Yeah, but then you can do the trick that I taught you. Just, just the whole thing. Just soak the whole shirt.

[Joey Santagato]

Gonna be a darker color.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I mean, it's okay. Yeah, I'm not worried about it.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But have you been around, like, knowingly been around baby oil?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, I've, like, put baby oil on my hands before. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you know.

[Joey Santagato]

No, I'm not, like, fisting people. That's not.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, why are you putting baby oil on your hands? It's not like. It's lotion. I mean, baby oil.

[Joey Santagato]

I was just curious. I've never, like, touched baby oil, so I was like. Let me just. Oh, you remember in my. Josh fucking baby oiled his old body.

[Frank Alvarez]

Josh did baby oil his body.

[Joey Santagato]

I think that's when I did it.

[Frank Alvarez]

That might have been when I did it, too, because he.

[Joey Santagato]

So you did do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess I did, yeah. I forgot. Now I remember, and I'm admitting it.

[Joey Santagato]

Suspicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not suspicious. I put it. And I rubbed down his back as a bro.

[Joey Santagato]

You rubbed baby oil over Josh's back?

[Frank Alvarez]

I believe the top of his back. I think everything else he had done himself. Why were you doing this, though?

[Joey Santagato]

You put baby oil on the top of his back from the bottom of your. I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't even know what to say about that. Were you jerking off a baby oil?

[Joey Santagato]

No, I've never done that.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you jerk off with baby oil, you would rip the skin off your dick, I imagine. Like, the fucking.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know if you can jerk off. You might be too slick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

Would even feel it. It's very slippery.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it? I can't. I honestly cannot remember for the life of.

[Joey Santagato]

I feel like I remember someone, like, setting up a slip and slide and then putting a little bit on it. It may have been in Connecticut.

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, I remember every time we've done a slip and slide at Connecticut, it was always soap.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, maybe. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was always soap and water. We had. I remember the one we did for Beer Olympics. Soap and water. Mm. But I don't remember baby oil. Baby oil. We'd fly. Fucking. We'd skid across the lake like we were, you know, a skipping stone.

[Joey Santagato]

Right. A skipping stone.

[Frank Alvarez]

Glad I. Glad I found that one there.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking. We do have. We do have some sponsors left here. The first one being. Hello. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. If you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so via BetterHelp in just under 48 hours. They make it very easy to connect to your therapist. Also very easy to switch from therapist to therapist. You can run the find the right fit for you, because that is part of the process as well. You got to find someone you feel you could vibe with because you don't want some person that you're like, I don't know, I don't really. They don't really get me. So you don't want to be in that situation. But it's also built to be customized so you can do it at whatever frequency you want. If you want to do it every week or every other week or every, you know, once a month or something like that, you can do that. It's more affordable than in person therapy, which is very expensive. Even if you have the right insurance, sometimes the co pay is a little crazy. So it's a nice way to kind of dip your foot into the world of therapy. I've been in it for a number of years and I think that it is great. I think that everyone should be in it. And yeah, you can go to betterhelp.com basementart today and we're going to give you 10% off your first month. Okay? So that is betterhelp spelled B E T T E R h e l p.com basement yard okay, so go to betterhelp.com basement yard right now to get 10% off of your first month. And lastly here we have Kickoff. Okay, Kickoff it is A Kickoff basically is a credit line that's just for credit building. Okay? Not everyday spending. But if you want to build up your credit, you can do so with Kickoff. But you can build your credit fast with them. All you have to do is make, you know, all your payments and stuff. You could start building credit immediately for just $1 your first month. Autopay helps you build credit while you sleep and never worry about missing a payment. You sign up in minutes from your phone. No credit check. You can cancel anytime. So if you do have a problem with your credit or you know, you accidentally missed a payment like three years ago and it's still affecting your credit, this could be a way to build that back up with Kickoff and you can build your credit fast with Kickoff. The best credit building plan to jumpstart your credit get your first month for a dollar that is 80% off the normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com basement today that is spelled G-E-T-K-I-K-O-F.com basement okay, you must sign up via getkickoff.com basement to activate offer. Offer applies to new Kickoff customers first month only subject to approval. Average impact of 28 point increase in the first month based on Equifast Vandascore 3.0 changes for Kickoff customers with starting credit below 600 who made their first payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside Kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply. Offer subject to change. Individual results may vary. Okay, so there you go, folks. And Frank, I guess we can sort of end this episode. You know, I know that you had brought up something, that there are people in this world that suddenly believe that they're real life zombies or something like that. Yep, we'll see you guys next time.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I was looking. So apparently, whether it be last week or this week, it was. It was Zombie week.

[Joey Santagato]

But like national pancake, like Shark Week.

[Frank Alvarez]

And now it was national one hit Wonder Day. Did you see this?

[Joey Santagato]

We have to stop.

[Frank Alvarez]

We've gotten out of control. Although the basement yard boys, we would love a day just of our own.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a little crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't think so, bro?

[Joey Santagato]

Pancakes. That deserves a holiday. The basement yard. Let's get some people believe that we.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are up there with pancakes. We are in the same stratosphere as pancakes.

[Joey Santagato]

Anyone who puts this podcast above pancakes is not a Pancakes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pancakes is not even the best of those. Like, you know, savory breakfast. You know, like meals. Waffles are waffles. We've agreed on that.

[Joey Santagato]

Belgian. Belgian.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm cool. Yeah. Hell, yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool. Yeah, I like those.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't like when they put powdered sugar on my.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I like. We agree. We agree, though. The French toast.

[Joey Santagato]

I love French toast.

[Frank Alvarez]

Up there, baby.

[Joey Santagato]

You. You with powdered sugar.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't mind it. A little a dusting. I don't want this thing to come out looking like Tony Montana. You know what I'm talking? I don't like it.

[Joey Santagato]

It makes me choke. Why? Because it's like dust. I, like, eat it and then I inhale it. It's on my fucking uvula and I'm like, trying to eat a fucking piece of French toast.

[Frank Alvarez]

I eat like a normal human being, so I don't like when I put food in my mouth. Go.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Apparently you are. If you're inhaling, just fucking put it in your mouth and chew.

[Joey Santagato]

I want to hit you as hard as I can. Hard, because you know what I'm talking about.

[Frank Alvarez]

How hard, bitch?

[Joey Santagato]

You've never aspirated, eating something or choked.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were. You're pulling out aspirated here, huh? While wearing a windbreaker.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a crazy thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

To say what you're doing. What?

[Joey Santagato]

Say before Monday. What'd you say? You said a crazy word before.

[Frank Alvarez]

It didn't. You can't remember, so it didn't happen.

[Joey Santagato]

It did happen.

[Frank Alvarez]

It didn't happen. It didn't. Anyone remember it? Didn't think so. Do you remember it?

[Joey Santagato]

No one in here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly. So you have no one to support your theory, but yeah, apparently, like. Yeah, then it was like one hit wonder day. Okay, so I just saw a bunch of people posting Somebody I used to know by Gautier.

[Joey Santagato]

What happened to that guy?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who cares? That song is a fucking hit, baby.

[Joey Santagato]

I actually hated it when it came out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, of course you did, because you were counterculture.

[Joey Santagato]

No, first of all. What, are you speaking to the mirror right now? Because that is you. You refuse to watch fucking Jersey Shore because you were like, everyone likes this. I'm not doing it. I just didn't like the song. I didn't. I just. You know what it was. The radio beat the shit out of me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Duh. Anytime something is a fucking. Even smaller. You were listening to the radio in 2013, Joey.

[Joey Santagato]

I was in Cars.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. But that. Remember that and call me maybe we're out at the exact same time.

[Joey Santagato]

You know what? That's a song that the radio beat the fuck out of. And I still liked it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's still a good song. It's just so, like wholesome and sweet and fun.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I will say this, though. Somebody I used to know is a fucking absolute banger.

[Joey Santagato]

It is. I love it now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Any other one hit wonders you could think of? Turn me on by Kevin Little. Oh, yeah, we heard that.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Careful with the accent here.

[Joey Santagato]

That's what the guy says.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I don't know. We did hear that at the San Geneiro Feast.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, we're like, this isn't the last place we expect.

[Frank Alvarez]

I expect to hear, you know, like. Hi. Not Turn me On by Kevin Little.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

God, Rick. The Rickroll song, what's it called?

[Joey Santagato]

Rick. Oh, Rick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Never gonna give you up. Yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

Rick Astley.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a. That's a great song to let you down.

[Joey Santagato]

I did not expect the guy to look like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. To look like a white ginger.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, Like, I was just. I was expecting, like, I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

What were you expecting? Never gonna give you up. I was expecting like a.

[Joey Santagato]

Someone a little more burly, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like Rob Robin Thicke's dad, Alan Thick.

[Joey Santagato]

You know, I don't know what that looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know who he is. He's like. Yeah. You don't agree?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know what Alan Thick looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what Alan Thick looks like? No, I don't, Alan.

[Joey Santagato]

But like the dude. Rick Astley has such, like, a deep voice that I thought he'd be a little more burly.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is what I expected him to look like. Right.

[Joey Santagato]

That's Robin Thicke's dad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, of course.

[Joey Santagato]

Is he an actor?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

What was he in?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think he was Punky Brewster. Maybe he wasn't Punky Brewster.

[Joey Santagato]

Punky Brewster.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like a show from the 80s. Let me. Right now he's been in stuff. Growing Pains. Okay. Just like a bunch of random shit movies. Oh, wait, that's for music department movies.

[Joey Santagato]

I've made a mistake asking this. I'm realizing it now.

[Frank Alvarez]

He was in the Fuller House show and I can't. He was in this Is Us.

[Joey Santagato]

Never mind.

[Frank Alvarez]

He was in.

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know him. I don't care.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not a lot of stuff that you would have seen, honestly. But yeah, Alan Thick, you know, that's who I expected to sing that. Just like.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like a cool. There's a cool guy.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. And then you see this guy in the music video. Never gonna give you up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never gonna is great. Still. I still love that. So trying to think of other, like, one hit wonder.

[Joey Santagato]

MC Hammer, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

MC Hammer was by definition a one hit wonder. I think like, he had another song after that but then lost all of his money.

[Joey Santagato]

I'm just gonna Google one hit wonders. What kind of like just ran Ice, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was vanilla. Was Vanilla Ice a one hit wonder?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did. Would you believe me if I told you?

[Joey Santagato]

What about the.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm too sexy for my Right Said Fred. I think that's.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah. All right, let's get a list of one hit wonders.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hit me out.

[Joey Santagato]

What? Said hit me out. So 2000s, we have. Oh, Eiffel65. Am blue.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why do you say oh? Like, of course. Like, everyone knows eyeball 65.

[Joey Santagato]

Well, yeah. I mean, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, the Barbie girl song. I'm a Barbie girl.

[Joey Santagato]

Okay, where does Filter take a picture?

[Frank Alvarez]

Take a picture.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, by Filter.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who the hell is that?

[Joey Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why don't you take a picture?

[Joey Santagato]

Macy Gray is on this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn. Macy Gray is kind of a one hit wonder. She had one that one hit.

[Joey Santagato]

I try to walk away and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble I try to hide it it's there Mama grumbles when you are not here.

[Frank Alvarez]

The only other thing.

[Joey Santagato]

Whoa.

[Frank Alvarez]

The only other thing I remember Macy Gray for she sang the theme song to as Told by Ginger. You remember that song, that show?

[Joey Santagato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

How does it go? Someone was told me to grass green.

[Joey Santagato]

On the other side. Yeah, that's a good one too.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a good song.

[Joey Santagato]

Do suck though. Teenage Dirtbag is on here. There's no way that band had one hit Wonder who did that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just a teenage dirt bag, baby Weedus. I mean, I couldn't name you a single other Wheatist song.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, the Baja Men. Who Let the Dogs Out. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, they did have some other songs.

[Joey Santagato]

Who Let the Dogs Out? I sounded like that was crazy. I didn't know I had that. Hit me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Holy shit.

[Joey Santagato]

That sounded like them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Holy shit. Yo. They had some other songs. They did. I think I had that album. Would you believe me if I told you I had their album?

[Joey Santagato]

You have the Bahaman album?

[Frank Alvarez]

They had another. I think they did like a cover of like the Lion Sleeps Tonight. You know where it's just like a wee. Damn. The Baja.

[Joey Santagato]

Oh, S Club 7's on here.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a disrespect.

[Joey Santagato]

Disrespectful to my s club 7.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey being very upset that he heard that.

[Joey Santagato]

I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what song I heard the other day? And I almost lost my mind because I forgot it existed.

[Joey Santagato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Incomplete by the Backstreet Boys.

[Joey Santagato]

How's it go, Inc?

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, oh, fuck.

[Joey Santagato]

That's a good one. I like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Any other one hit wonders that are worth noting?

[Joey Santagato]

There's one that I really like. You're not going to know. It's called right now by sr71. It's like a little rock song that's really good, but My Baby by Romeo. I don't know that one. Flavor of the Week. American hi Fi is not a one hit. Wonderful.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't even be able to tell you either. Her song.

[Joey Santagato]

She's Just a Week.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who did the song? Oh, my God.

[Joey Santagato]

Alien Ant Farms on air.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the. Of course. Alien Ant Farm. They had that one hit and it was a criminal. Yeah. Set.

[Joey Santagato]

Still Fly by the Big Timers is here.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's disrespectful. That's what. That's our Jimmy E. World. Jimmy World. The Middle was a. That was it.

[Joey Santagato]

That is the.

[Frank Alvarez]

They performed the night before we did in Houston.

[Joey Santagato]

They did? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn. We have still Fl all the Things.

[Joey Santagato]

She Said by Tattoo. You remember that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, hell, yeah. That was a big song for the life.

[Joey Santagato]

Run into my head. Running. This is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I don't remember.

[Joey Santagato]

They were lesbians.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know I just said it was a big song for lesbians, dude.

[Joey Santagato]

Bro, when I was younger and I was like, holy lesbians. Like I had to tune in because.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, I just want to see lesbian song.

[Joey Santagato]

I just wanted to see those their anthem. I had never seen a lesbian and that was like this is my.

[Frank Alvarez]

That you knew.

[Joey Santagato]

So I turned on TRL and I was like, the lesbians are out there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I remember. I remember in 2003 or 2002, WWE had Eric Bischoff was bringing out lesbians. You don't remember this?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

HLA hla. He was like, we're gonna have some hot lesbian action. Yeah. And I was like glued to the tv and then three minute warning came out and ruined the whole thing for me. I could have seen lesbians on the TV and Way to go, Eric Bischoff.

[Joey Santagato]

It by Iman disrespect.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I. You. You used. You used your song on the bottom and stank.

[Joey Santagato]

The reason definitely one hitter. Never heard another song.

[Frank Alvarez]

Obviously. I fully admit that.

[Joey Santagato]

Are you gonna be my girl by Jet.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great song also. Yeah. That was a big karaoke song for me for a while. I said 1, 2, 3, take your handicap with me. Because dude, so fine. And I really wanna make.

[Joey Santagato]

They also have. What's the song? I just missed it. Oh, Collide by Howie Day. That song is song is that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who's Howie Day?

[Joey Santagato]

Somehow fine. You and I collide.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember that one.

[Joey Santagato]

Love that. James Blunt, you're beautiful. I Yo. No. First of all, this is disrespect because.

[Frank Alvarez]

James Blunt that bitch.

[Joey Santagato]

You're beautiful. It's true. Am I?

[Frank Alvarez]

James Joey is a the love child of the Baja men and James Blunt.

[Joey Santagato]

Yo, goodbye my lover. Bro. I could legit. Did I disappoint you or let you down? God damn. Should I be feeling guilty? Daniel Powder Bad day, bro. This was my favorite song.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't care about that love.

[Joey Santagato]

That's on me. And Divino loved that song.

[Frank Alvarez]

That not a flex. Honestly.

[Joey Santagato]

Chameleon Air riding Hell yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

He and he cashed out and he's now doing well for himself. Good. We should have invited Chameleon air to our Houston show.

[Joey Santagato]

We should have done that. But I will say this, and I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but the guy looks exactly like. You guessed it. A gecko. Come on. He looks like a gecko.

[Frank Alvarez]

He does look like a lizard gecko. He does. He does. I will say this, though, no disrespect to Mr. Millionaire. The papoose version, the remixes is a little bit better.

[Joey Santagato]

I love when you do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's so good. Oh, yeah, bro. I think you know what's funny?

[Joey Santagato]

Lips of an angel it's standing on a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet Coming from the lips.

[Joey Santagato]

Of an angel I don't know the rest of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, something about makes me weak Little hard to say good night never Girl, you make it hard to be faithful Wait a second. Wait, wait.

[Joey Santagato]

Bro, you don't know what that song is about?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Is he cheating on his wife?

[Joey Santagato]

Bro, the song begins with honey, why you're calling me?

[Frank Alvarez]

So he's cheating on his wife. Who's saying that? Who's saying that?

[Joey Santagato]

Hinder.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fuck you, Mr. Hinder. Yeah, cheating on your wife, you bastard. You two timing bitch. Lips of an angels Crazy that's means.

[Joey Santagato]

For sucking jibs Chain hang low that was my ringtone.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was my ringtone. Does your chain hang low? Does it wobble to the flow?

[Joey Santagato]

Rich boy, throw some Ds remix is crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Remix goes so goddamn hard, it's unbelievable. No, I mean that you're talking the Wayne freestyle. I'm talking to the Andre 3000 with.

[Joey Santagato]

Kanye's on that too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right, Andre?

[Joey Santagato]

Kanye got stacks. Y'all already know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey Santagato]

All right, what else we got on here?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joey Santagato]

I honestly just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back to Music Talk with I.

[Joey Santagato]

Love, I Love College by Asher Roth 2000.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. That was. That was crazy because that's when we were going away to. That's when one of us were going away to college. And every party was just like, play. I love college. And every person there was just like, I love college. I love drinking.

[Joey Santagato]

Did you guys do the Sammy Adams version? I'm sure college, but love all the parties. Remember Sammy Adams, bro?

[Frank Alvarez]

Speaking of no hit wonders. Sammy Adams.

[Joey Santagato]

No. Sammy Adams had like a couple of college bangers. There's a. There's another song. I forget the name right now, but he had a moment.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was about to disrespect Mike Posner, but he had a couple hits.

[Joey Santagato]

The pose.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude. Oh, you guys boys.

[Joey Santagato]

No, I wish. Seems like a really nice guy. He walked the whole country.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did he?

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, did he? Walked across the country.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why? Just make music, Mike Poser. No one wants to see you walk. They want to hear you make some fucking bops.

[Joey Santagato]

No, he's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Think you cool. It in me.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, Picture of like that album cover and they're like this looks just like you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, you're getting that people getting out a hand with that one.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, well, when I had the buzz.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cut, I looked like, yo, someone. Someone posted a picture recently of Travis Kelce and it legit looks like you.

[Joey Santagato]

Geez, that's not really a good thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think Travis Kelsey's good looking dude.

[Joey Santagato]

He's older than me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Travis Kelsey, he's maybe a couple years older than you.

[Joey Santagato]

Yeah, he might be a couple years older, actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not like he's in his 50s. You're saying that like he's older. He's dating the biggest star on the planet. Biggest Thor.

[Joey Santagato]

All right, well, there you have it, folks.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't you dare.

[Joey Santagato]

There you have it, folks. That is our episode for today. The last episode. We are recording before Radio City. I think Monday.

[Frank Alvarez]

Monday is our Radio City.

[Joey Santagato]

Correct.

[Frank Alvarez]

But friends, weekly we're recording before Radio City checks.

[Joey Santagato]

Where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

F. Alvarez@85 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez and all the form of social media. Patreon.com thebasemoniard make sure you go check it out the basement on all forms of social media. You can also check out Joe Santagato on all forms of social media. Make sure everything that's Santa got a studios is in your feed because we have a lot of fun over here and we want to do it for you.

[Joey Santagato]

And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.