Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard Episode #473 - "We Are Chimp Crazy"

Introduction In Episode #473 of The Basement Yard, hosted by Joe Santagato from Santagato Studios, Joe and his co-host Frank engage in their signature humorous and unfiltered banter. This episode delves into a variety of topics, ranging from nostalgic reflections on classic American snacks to controversial discussions about animal-human interactions and avant-garde opera performances.

1. Nostalgia and Classic American Snacks The episode kicks off with a lighthearted exchange about personal attire and habits, quickly segueing into a nostalgic conversation about traditional American snacks like Cracker Jacks and fortune cookies.

• Cracker Jacks Pricing and Experience

  • Frank (00:29): "The rule of jokes is if you fuck up the wording on a joke, you automatically lose the joke."
  • Joe (02:01): "Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. You're making this baseball game sound like the worst place on the planet."

  Joe and Frank humorously debate the rising costs of Cracker Jacks at baseball games, highlighting how what used to be an affordable treat has become overpriced. They reminisce about the excitement of receiving prizes with Cracker Jacks and compare it to the allure of fortune cookies.

• Fortune Cookies Mysticism

  • Frank (04:25): "There's a mysticism to fortune cookies. You open a fortune cookie and you're like, this can. It's like horoscopes."
  • Joe (04:43): "It's like, oh, you might meet a friend from the past before. And I'm like, what the fuck?"

  The hosts discuss the vague and often perplexing fortunes found in fortune cookies, pondering their significance and the mix-up between Cracker Jacks and fortune cookies in terms of delivering life-changing messages.

2. Bestiality and Animal-Human Interactions A significant portion of the episode shifts to a controversial topic: the ethical and legal implications of human-animal interactions, specifically focusing on a woman who breastfeeds chimps.

• Discussion on Bestiality

  • Frank (21:02): "Bestiality. It's actually fungi, but..."
  • Joe (21:36): "She did it to maternally."

  Joe and Frank delve into the complexities of bestiality, debating whether maternal care of animals crosses into unethical or criminal behavior. They reference a case involving Tanya Haddocks Haddix, a woman accused of animal welfare abuses related to her interactions with chimps.

• Ethical Considerations

  • Frank (30:02): "There is a case to be made that this is not considered any form of bestiality or zoophilia because it wasn't done sexually."
  • Joe (30:17): "She did it to maternally."

  The conversation navigates the fine line between maternal instincts and exploitative behavior, questioning societal norms and legal definitions surrounding human-animal relationships.

3. Animal Memory and Human Perception The hosts explore the intelligence and memory capabilities of various animals, sharing personal anecdotes and humorous takes on animal behavior.

• Horses and Elephants' Memory

  • Frank (35:31): "We went to the zoo, and it was... They were like, this is a horse. Horses have such great memory that if you were to come back in 20 years, they'll remember you."
  • Joe (37:00): "Dude, I'll be honest with you. Those horses in Central Park break my little heart."

  They discuss how horses and elephants are reputed to have excellent memories, sharing memories from childhood trips to the zoo and expressing empathy towards animals.

• Giraffes and Their Unique Features

  • Frank (40:36): "They look like... like a very large person sits in a chair and all the legs bow out. Yeah, that's what they look like, dude."
  • Joe (40:35): "I'd let a giraffe lick my face."

  The conversation lightens as they humorously critique giraffes' appearance and behavior, balancing knowledgeable insights with playful mockery.

4. Controversial Opera Performances A pivotal segment of the episode revolves around a highly controversial opera performance featuring naked roller-skating nuns, explicit lesbian scenes, and graphic bloodshed.

• Description of the Opera

  • Joe (48:51): "Naked roller skating nuns. Roller skating nuns alone is hilarious."
  • Frank (50:04): "They are bleeding all over the place. Are trying to kill the men, the straight men that they know are going to these shows. It is a conspiracy."

  Joe and Frank provide a vivid and graphic description of the opera, discussing its shock value and the extreme reactions it has garnered from the audience. They speculate humorously about the motives behind such a production and its impact on viewers.

• Audience Reactions and Ethical Implications

  • Joe (50:49): "Those who had a physical reaction to the chaos unfolding in front of them were sat in the rows near the stage, according to a spokesperson who added that they would have known what they are getting themselves in for."
  • Frank (52:26): "If you hear naked roller skating, bleeding nuns on the poster, you wear a poncho if you're gonna be in the front row."

  The hosts critique the opera's provocative elements, questioning the ethical boundaries of artistic expression and the responsibility of performers in presenting such content.

5. Sponsor Segments and Advertisements Throughout the episode, Joe and Frank incorporate sponsorship messages promoting services like Squarespace, SeatGeek, PrizePicks, and Kickoff. These segments are designed to support the podcast financially while providing listeners with useful services.

• Squarespace Promotion

  • Joe: "If you have a small business or you make content or you want to promote something, you're gonna want to do it with Squarespace."

• SeatGeek Promotion

  • Frank: "Everyone can use the code now. The code is Joe15. You'll get 15% off any tickets on SeatGeek."

• PrizePicks and Kickoff Promotions

  • Joe: "You can win up to 100 times your money on PrizePicks with as little as four correct picks."
  • Frank: "If you have trouble with your credit or you made a mistake in the past, Kickoff is the number one credit building app out there."

These sponsorships are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, providing discounts and incentives for listeners to engage with the promoted services.

Conclusion and Final Banter As the episode wraps up, Joe and Frank return to their usual playful and irreverent banter, discussing topics like pet behavior and upcoming projects. They encourage listeners to follow their social media channels and remain engaged with future content.

• Closing Remarks
  • Frank (58:19): "That hurt my hand."
  • Joe: "You do you do that a lot."

The hosts sign off with a blend of humor and camaraderie, reinforcing their connection with the audience and teasing upcoming content.

Notable Quotes Overview

• Cracker Jacks Pricing:

  • Frank (00:29): "The rule of jokes is if you fuck up the wording on a joke, you automatically lose the joke."

• Fortune Cookie Mysticism:

  • Frank (04:25): "There's a mysticism to fortune cookies. You open a fortune cookie and you're like, this can. It's like horoscopes."

• Bestiality Debate:

  • Frank (21:02): "Bestiality. It's actually fungi, but..."

• Opera Performance:

  • Joe (48:51): "Naked roller skating nuns. Roller skating nuns alone is hilarious."
  • Frank (50:04): "They are bleeding all over the place. Are trying to kill the men, the straight men that they know are going to these shows. It is a conspiracy."

Final Thoughts Episode #473 of The Basement Yard showcases Joe and Frank's dynamic chemistry as they navigate through a maze of humorous, controversial, and thought-provoking topics. From dissecting the evolution of classic snacks to grappling with the ethical boundaries of human-animal relationships and avant-garde art, the hosts deliver an engaging and multifaceted discussion that keeps listeners entertained and intrigued.

For those interested in raw, unfiltered conversations peppered with humor and sharp insights, this episode is a testament to what The Basement Yard offers its audience.