#477 - The World's Sexiest Podcast Hosts

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard - Episode #477: The World's Sexiest Podcast Hosts

Release Date: November 18, 2024

In Episode #477 of The Basement Yard, hosts Joe Santagato (Speaker A) and Frank Alvarez (Speaker B) delve into a myriad of engaging topics ranging from personal anecdotes and societal observations to humorous banter about pop culture and aspirations. This summary captures the essence of their lively discussion, highlighting key points, notable quotes, and the dynamic interplay between the hosts.

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1. Opening Banter and Light-Hearted Jokes

The episode kicks off with playful exchanges about "thumbs out" versus "thumbs up," setting a casual and humorous tone.

• [00:00] A: "Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. How's it going?"
• [00:20] B: "Just right here. What is this hitchhiking? Hitchhiking craziness, dude..."

2. Hitchhiking Tales and Reflections on Safety

Frank shares a personal story about his father-in-law's experiences with hitchhiking, touching upon issues of safety and societal perceptions.

• [00:20] B: "My father in law tells me all the time, he's like, yeah, I used to do it a lot. And I'm like, why?"
• [00:30] A: "How has he not been. Been killed?"
• [00:36] B: "Because he's a white man. No one wants to kill white men..."

3. Nostalgic Memories: Grandmother’s Birthday and Childhood Antics

The hosts reminisce about memorable family events, including a grandmother's 75th birthday party filmed on tape, and Frank’s childhood breakdancing and playful wrestling matches.

• [02:04] B: "I remember because 9/11."
• [05:06] A: "And you were breakdancing on it."
• [05:20] B: "I would go under the table and have like a hell in a cell match underneath a banquet table."

4. Debate on Plastic Bags: Utility vs. Environmental Impact

A spirited discussion ensues about the practicality of plastic bags compared to their environmental drawbacks. Frank argues for their utility, criticizing the shift towards banning them.

• [06:31] A: "Paper bags are trash."
• [07:08] A: "No. I don't want to pick up dog shit with a giant Trader Joe's bag."
• [07:53] B: "But plastic bags became so much more than just plastic bags. They became like dog shitter, picker upper..."

5. Dreams and Sleep Struggles: Personal Experiences

Joe recounts vivid dreams and sleep disturbances, leading to a deeper conversation about the nature of dreams and the use of sleep aids like melatonin.

• [10:25] A: "I had a very vivid dream of my mom being racist."
• [13:06] A: "But what does that mean that you can remember dreams?"
• [14:04] B: "I'm drugged up over here, trying to sleep."

6. Health Journey: Supplements and Fitness Fads

Frank and Joe discuss their attempts at improving health through supplements, expressing skepticism towards greens powders and protein gummies due to taste and artificial additives.

• [15:06] B: "I am trying to be a healthier version of myself."
• [15:22] A: "They taste like chalk and grass fucked."
• [17:24] B: "I have spoken with you candidly. I'm on a bit of a health journey."

7. Language and Semantics: Origins of 'Gay' and 'Lesbian'

The hosts embark on an informative yet humorous exploration of the origins and evolution of the terms "gay" and "lesbian," delving into their historical contexts and societal implications.

• [43:00] A: "The word gay originated in the 12th century from the old French word gay, which meant full of joy or mirth."
• [46:01] A: "The word lesbian comes from the Greek island of Lesbos."

8. Music and Pop Culture: Imagine Dragons vs. Fun

A lively debate unfolds over the bands Imagine Dragons and Fun, highlighting their distinct musical styles and cultural impacts.

• [54:25] A: "Are Imagine dragons fun?"
• [55:11] A: "Did you make that up?"
• [57:03] A: "What is mirth? Is mirth the way to say mirth?"

9. Podcast Aspirations: Striving for Recognition

In a self-deprecating yet aspirational segment, Joe and Frank discuss their desire to be recognized as the "sexiest podcast hosts," humorously lamenting their absence from the rankings and fantasizing about winning awards.

• [51:10] B: "We didn't get named the Sexiest podcast host of 2024."
• [61:26] A: "We are the poor man's new heights."
• [63:27] A: "Make a picture of the most... that could be the name of the award."

10. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with reflections on personal growth, aspirations, and the enduring power of their words to influence and revive various aspects of culture and business.

• [67:58] B: "We have revived laborious crap. Red Lobster. Our words have power."
• [69:28] B: "Our words. Oh, God. What?"
• [72:00] A: "Frank, where can they find you?"

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Notable Quotes

• [00:36] B: "Because he's a white man. No one wants to kill white men."
• [06:31] A: "Paper bags are trash."
• [15:22] A: "They taste like chalk and grass fucked."
• [43:50] A: "We took words that describe just absolute happiness and joy and use them as slurs."
• [51:10] B: "We didn't get named the Sexiest podcast host of 2024."
• [67:53] B: "Causation does not necessarily..."
• [69:03] B: "You know what they say? The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both."

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Conclusion

Episode #477 of The Basement Yard offers listeners a blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful discussions on topics ranging from everyday experiences to deeper societal issues. Joe and Frank's chemistry and candid conversations provide an entertaining and relatable listening experience, embodying the podcast's informal and engaging spirit.

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Note: Advertisements, sponsorship segments, and non-content sections have been omitted to focus solely on the substantive discussions of the episode.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. How's it going?

[B]

Oh, no, I don't know. I think.

[A]

No words, just double thumbs. First of all, those aren't even thumbs up. Those are thumbs.

[B]

Thumbs out?

[A]

Yeah, you're a thumbs out.

[B]

Just right here. What is this hitchhiking? Hitchhiking craziness, dude, My father in law tells me all the time, he's like, yeah, I used to do it a lot. And I'm like, why?

[A]

How has he not been. Been killed?

[B]

Because he's a white man. No one wants to kill white men.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

They didn't want to kill white men back then. They needed them. They were like, we need you. Yeah, Ronald Reagan was out there. That was a little later, I guess. What Ronald Reagan was later on.

[A]

What is Ronald. Oh, did he say that?

[B]

I mean, I imagine when people think of like white men in the us they close their eyes, they see Ronald Reagan.

[A]

That's what you see? Personally, I don't even know what I see.

[B]

I mean, I mean, well, yeah. What do you mean, what do I see?

[A]

Yeah, you see it.

[B]

I all see it. I say yes, but like I think of men. I think men of a certain generation or people of a certain generation, when they think of like the prototypical. Close your eyes, see an American white man. It's, you know, it's, it's fucking leather face. Ronald Reagan. He's long dead, by the way.

[A]

He's Ronald Reagan live.

[B]

Ronald Ron. Yeah, yeah, he died. Yeah, I think, right?

[A]

You said long dead, so now I don't.

[B]

When did Ronnie Riggs die? Look that shit up.

[A]

I always get him confused with Richard Nixon.

[B]

Very, very, very easy to make the distinction.

[A]

Ronald Reagan dead.

[B]

Nixon, 2004.

[A]

Dude, he's super, bro. Ronald Reagan was born in 1911.

[B]

Yeah, man, that's an old bastard.

[A]

Older than my old dead grandma. Both of them.

[B]

Both of our grandmothers.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, 29, I think.

[B]

Mine was 29 too. Yeah.

[A]

What the hell?

[B]

That's really crazy.

[A]

That is weird, actually.

[B]

No, mine was 26 and this is a serious, serious way that I remember it because 9 11.

[A]

Frank, you remember what year your grandma was born? Because 9 11. Yeah, tell us the mnemonic device that you created. Tell us.

[B]

Well, because we did a 75th birthday party for her and we had it on tape. And on tape are my mom, my aunt and my uncle, and they're talking about like the devastation of like 911.

[A]

On her birthday tape. Yeah, you're telling me. It's a bunch of people Being like, happy birthday.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And then it cuts to your mom being like. They're that. Like, there's. We're at war now.

[B]

They were just saying, like, you know, the world is a really scary place, and it's nice to come together and stuff like that. And that's how I remember what year she was born. Because of. It's a weird. Like, this is not a joke. Wait.

[A]

But I'm confused. What's confusing was how soon after 9, 11 did you have this birthday party through?

[B]

Less than three months. Because my grandmother's birthday was December 1, and it was her 75th birthday and it was, you know, I remember. So it was somewhere within, you know, it was like my. They, like, it was a big. I remember it was like a big family thing. I brought a plastic. You're gonna laugh hysterically at me.

[A]

I'm sure I will. Go ahead.

[B]

First of all, 1. This is when I tried out my breakdancing on the video. There's like, I have to get this video.

[A]

Wait, you were doing. You went through a breakdancing phase?

[B]

Yeah, I tried. I tried.

[A]

Maybe I just don't remember.

[B]

You don't remember it?

[A]

I probably did, too.

[B]

And I've since told you, any rip.

[A]

Away pants, I'm in.

[B]

I did have rip away pants with the buttons.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was. I think those two things might have been mutually exclusive, right? Not entirely lined up. Yeah. But.

[A]

The.

[B]

On the, like, they did, like, remember, like, we had that, like, family thing where they would, like, film parties. And that was like, a whole industry of, like, party filming.

[A]

Yeah. With the big fucking.

[B]

With the big fucking camera. And it was always the same bald white guy. He, like, did my baptism. I don't remember his name, but.

[A]

Oh, my mom filmed ours.

[B]

Oh, we had, like, a.

[A]

You hired.

[B]

There was someone hired dude. Yeah. And he would, like, cut and edit the whole thing and put, like, graphics over it. Remember those, like, 90s graphics where it was just like, the film rolling down? Yeah, yeah. And it was like, you know, Gloria's 75th birthday.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

And then it's just, you know, an hour of people at a table talking and then a mic being handed to them. They're like, congratulations, Happy birthday, Gloria. We wish you the best. We hope you're doing well. To 75 more.

[A]

I do want to take.

[B]

And then they would hand it off to somebody else and they would.

[A]

I've seen that for weddings, but you guys were doing that for birthday parties for my grandmother.

[B]

75Th. I need to find this tape. And, like, it was a big thing. And it was.

[A]

And you were breakdancing on it.

[B]

I was break dancing on the dance floor, babe. And I had brought with me. I remember very clearly, I brought with me a plastic bag. Good old plastic bags, by the way, of wrestling. Figures. So, like, if I got bored, I was just. I would go under the table and have like a hell in a cell match underneath a banquet table.

[A]

I mean. Yeah. Isn't fourth grade, though, too old for that? Am I making that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like toys are eternal, babe.

[A]

Okay, but like, if you go to a. Like a fucking party or something, you're not bringing toys for miles.

[B]

Fourth graders now are different than when we were in fourth grade.

[A]

We could.

[B]

We could say that.

[A]

Tell yourself that.

[B]

I mean, they're probably smarter, but, like, openly say that.

[A]

Yeah, but I think bringing a bunch of plastic bag full of toys.

[B]

Dude, can I say something really quick?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm ready for the backlash, right?

[A]

Are you ready for what? The backlash of toys?

[B]

No, America. Let me talk to you. You need someone to talk for you right now, so let me do it. Okay. Plastic bags are just better than any other type of bag. Paper.

[A]

Paper bags are trash.

[B]

Reusable. You know how many reusable bags I have now? We've openly just had to give them away.

[A]

Yeah, I have mad reusable bags because any time. Because I'm not reusing it, bro.

[B]

Plastic bags were not only great bags, minus the whole pollution and stuff. That was bad, Frank.

[A]

That's the whole thing. But there's no other reason why we got rid of them.

[B]

But plastic bags became so much more than just plastic bags. They became like dog shitter, picker upper. What are they called?

[A]

No, they make dog bags.

[B]

I know, but those are not as cool as a. Just a giant trade fair plastic bag.

[A]

No. I don't want to pick up dog shit with a giant Trader Joe's bag.

[B]

Trader Joe's never had plastic bags.

[A]

Well, you know what I mean, a trade fair, whatever.

[B]

Trade fair.

[A]

That's it. You don't do that. I get a little thing now. It goes on the. On the leash.

[B]

I know what it goes on. I. We had those. I'm just saying. Great having a place in your house that had thousands of plastic bags. Yeah, from the.

[A]

My mom still has that from the 80s.

[B]

That is a relic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you realize you are sitting on, like, fucking history, babe?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's a little crazy. I feel like you're going a little while.

[B]

I'm just saying, like, I am. I am all on board. Big Oil convinced us that we were fucking up the world with plastic bags when they were sitting there drilling into the fucking third layer of the earth's mantle and crust.

[A]

So they were, like, spilling it all over the ducks.

[B]

Guys, I'm just telling you as there's fucking oil all over these poor damn ducks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gotta get rid of plastic straws. You gotta get rid of plastic bags.

[A]

I will say this. Whoever is working in the marketing department for over at dawn and was like, yo, let's just go over there and start washing the seals and put that on tv, You're a genius and you deserve everything you have.

[B]

I will say. I will. I will agree to that. I mean, I think. I think there is a conspiracy. I think Big Soap and Big Oil have gotten together and they're just like, make us look bad, but help sell some of your stuff, and we'll get people's attention away from the fact that we are draining the world of its natural resource.

[A]

Frank, I think exactly the opposite is happening. Don is like, raising awareness of the fact that these idiots are spilling oil into the fucking ocean.

[B]

Are they? Or is it just a big conspiracy?

[A]

Why would they make Big Soap?

[B]

We're on to you. Don't be confused.

[A]

First of all, I'm not onto anything. I believe in soap.

[B]

Joe is with me here.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

I believe in soap, but I believe in good soaps, natural soaps. I'm not going to give out any free plugs right here unless some companies want to start sending me some free stuff.

[A]

Frank is now. You're a whore is what you are. They say he's a whore.

[B]

I'm not a whore.

[A]

You're a whore.

[B]

I'm a slut for soap.

[A]

Okay, good. So how's that better?

[B]

Whore. You get nothing in return. Slut. You're using. Living the dream, baby.

[A]

I don't know. I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones, so, like, whores been thrown around a lot.

[B]

Oh, you're rewatching Game of Thrones?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it that dark of a time in our country's fucking history that you want to watch one of the smoke, gray and dark shows ever put on tv?

[A]

Peter Bailey.

[B]

Shh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, he's such a litter. He's such a rascal.

[A]

Yeah, he's such a rascal. You're mad horny when you use that word. I feel like.

[B]

No, no, no, I wasn't. What was his name in the show?

[A]

Peter Baelish.

[B]

Yeah, but what's his, like, nickname?

[A]

Oh, Littlefinger.

[B]

Little Fingers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rascal is. And he's always scheming and stuff like that.

[A]

He is.

[B]

That's a testament to the actor.

[A]

Yeah, he's good.

[B]

He's very, very good in that show. You all up to date on penguin? Yes. Unbelievable, right? Oh, my God.

[A]

Love a good penguin. Penguin. So didn't. It wasn't. Wasn't watching any of that. I mean, the other day, obviously, I was watching the election. One word to describe the election reactions. One word.

[B]

Scared.

[A]

Cool. I was gonna go with yikes.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna go with.

[A]

I was gonna go with yikes.

[B]

There's a bit of a yikes in there.

[A]

Yikes is what it is, I guess. And geez. I went to bed that night. I don't know if these things are related. Went to bed that night, Woke up at 5:02am and I had a very.

[B]

That's a very presidential hour. I just want to throw that out there.

[A]

Well, I had a very vivid dream of my mom being racist. Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

I'm gonna go out on the slightest of limbs here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's.

[B]

There might be a little relation right there.

[A]

I think it was like, they're not.

[B]

Like brother, sister relation.

[A]

Wait, what are we talking about here? Because my mom's not racist.

[B]

I know your mom's not racist. I'm saying the way that your brain was operating.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I was just like, your mom is.

[B]

An old white woman, though.

[A]

I know, but she's a saint. She loves.

[B]

Mom is a great woman with a good heart.

[A]

I immediately texted her and told her, by the way.

[B]

And what did she respond back? She said, did she show you her, like, voting slip?

[A]

I forgot what she said, but she was not happy.

[B]

But I was mad that you. Why? Can I ask you a serious question?

[A]

Because I think that people just listen to what she said. What she said was. Hold on. I gotta remember because I wrote it down.

[B]

It's great, great podcast and great entertainment for the folks that are watching this right now.

[A]

What?

[B]

That you're sitting there just trying to find. Are you.

[A]

Are you fucking crazy? You out of all people. Oh, yo, hold on. Let me look this up. 15 minutes go by and you're like, oh, you're just making noises like that. You shut the fuck up. I found it already.

[B]

So the dream tense couple days. Yeah.

[A]

Fired up. I don't. There was like a whole, like, stuff going on in the stream. But the only part that I remember was that I wrote this in the family group chat. I said I had a dream that mom was racist. At one point she just says, I really just don't think you can learn anything from minorities. And I shot up from my seat, like, are you fucking insane? And then I woke up.

[B]

I haven't. I imagine your mom's reaction was like, what do you think of me?

[A]

I don't know what you said. No, she. She just wrote quite the contrary.

[B]

I just. It. I get very fired up when, like. I'll be very honest with you. I don't remember my dreams. 99.999% of the time, you're a big dream guy. You wake up, you immediately start writing.

[A]

But what does that mean that you can remember dreams? Is that.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I sleeping. I'm sleeping better.

[B]

I don't know, honestly. I mean, you take melatonin. I don't take melatonin.

[A]

Have you ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does it. Then you dream.

[B]

I'll tell you something right now. Seriously.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have not slept well in maybe a year. And I've been open. I've told you about that. I just can't sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me.

[A]

But take a fat tone in that time.

[B]

I've taken. I've toned.

[A]

You've taken.

[B]

I've taken into. I've even started taking other stuff that people like. This is also good for sleep.

[A]

Just NyQuil, randomly.

[B]

Magnesium, threonate.

[A]

What the fuck is that?

[B]

Babe? I'm drugged up over here, trying to sleep.

[A]

Well, wait, three and eight or three and eight?

[B]

300. Eight.

[A]

Oh, three.

[B]

There have been claims that, like, it helps you with sleep. Like, and. Got it. I can't speak for other people. Only could speak for myself.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Not helping me with a goddamn thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Still taking it because I paid a couple bucks for the bottle, dude.

[A]

I could take 10 milligrams of melatonin and it will. I will have it be having motion pictures.

[B]

You know what I'm gonna do tonight? I'm gonna go home and 50 milligrams.

[A]

I don't know what's a safe amount.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. It might hurt me. But I also have young kids. I don't want to. God forbid there's like an intruder or something. I don't want to be like, wake up. So I'm gonna, like. I don't know. There's no way around this. But I'm gonna try to not overdose on melatonin. But, like, I'm gonna see what's an unhealthy amount, and I'm gonna get right below that, you know?

[A]

Right below that threshold, the daily recommended and be like that.

[B]

Well, I have the extra strength gummies and it's like, oh, you got gum? And it's like two gummies is like. I think it's like 10 milligrams.

[A]

Gummies are great. Like some of the best shit we've ever done in this world is like implanted things in gummies. Can I say something really like protein gummies?

[B]

Can I say something real quick?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

I have been, you know, I've spoken with you candidly. I'm on a bit of a health journey. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I am trying to be a healthier version of myself. Not because I'm normally unhealthy, but just because I want to feel good about myself.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Whom is to blame for greens powder?

[A]

Oh, that. The athletic greens.

[B]

Whether it be that. I don't want to name any companies in particular.

[A]

Because you want it for free.

[B]

No, no, no. I'm just saying you hate them. I hate them all.

[A]

Well, because they taste like shit.

[B]

Because they're just like, they're delicious.

[A]

They're a part of your not delicious.

[B]

They are not. They taste like chalk and grass fucked. And then they're secretly cousins and you have their inbred child in your mouth right now. Okay, who in the fuck is just.

[A]

Like, oh, yeah, no, they're not good.

[B]

I know there are companies out there starting to put them into gummies, but I don't trust those either.

[A]

No, I.

[B]

Wait, what their companies now that are doing, like, protein gummies? They're Greens. The green guns. Oh. And again, I don't want to name companies because I want to upset people.

[A]

But, like, you don't trust them.

[B]

I don't trust them.

[A]

You've been burned by greens.

[B]

Well, they're just like, put a. Put this into a cup of a glass of water.

[A]

It doesn't even look good.

[B]

And watch your diet change completely. The only thing that has changed is the amount of toilet paper we've had to buy in our house. And it's so funny because people are like, it's so good. And you drink it and you're like, you like, choke it down.

[A]

Does it make you, like your colon blow up?

[B]

I don't know what it does, but whatever it's doing doesn't feel good.

[A]

Right. You know, I'm usually like, like protein for whatever reason, I can't. There's only one protein that works for me. And it's like, it's like these shakes. Honestly, I'll free plug them because I like them, but it's Called Owen. O w I n only what you need. But it's like, oh, I've heard of those. It's like plant based braced pram.

[B]

Brace your prayer protein.

[A]

Yeah, that's me, bro. But it's like plant based.

[B]

Bro.

[A]

What the fuck? What the fuck?

[B]

Well, I'll say it. You just continue. Plant based protein.

[A]

Boom. And then plant based protein. Thank you God. And then there's like some fiber in it, whatever. And it's like, I think it's like 20 grams of protein. But like those are the only things that don't fuck me up. But if I just take regular like whey protein.

[B]

I do well with whey protein. My issue is now I'm being again, I'm being more health aware and cognizant is I'll look at it and it'll be like, this is the best quality dude. I went to. I'm not gonna say it cause I don't wanna insult the guy, but I went to like a supplement shop not long ago and it was the most dude bro guy in the world. And he was just like, what do you got today? Just went to the gym. Fucking awesome, bro. Like, seriously, like he was just like, what are you looking for? And I was like, this. And he was like, honestly, this is super yummy. Like, just like, okay, you know what I'm talking about. But all of them have just artificial flavoring and I'm afraid of that stuff.

[A]

Because like Frank, you love hot dogs. You're afraid of protein.

[B]

Well, I.

[A]

First of all, there's no rebuttal. A hot dog is much.

[B]

I'm just a little more aware of. I'm a little more scared of artificial flavoring when I have a protein that's just like, what flavor of this? This is crunchy berry fat tits flavored.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it really tastes like fucking giant knockers, you know.

[A]

Damn, what store is shit.

[B]

What do you do?

[A]

Here we go. I'm not doing. Yeah, Frank's got another idea.

[B]

Big business. Actually, you know what? I'm going to save it. I just pitched you a Patreon episode that you'll have to watch in order to get it. Go to patreon.com the basement yard. I'm going to write this in my phone right now. But your mom may be racist. Definitely not.

[A]

She's not.

[B]

Definitely not. Yeah.

[A]

No, but also like whenever there's like proteins that are like, this one's flavored Fruity Pebbles. I'm like, this feels like someone came into a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, dude. This doesn't taste like Fruity Pebbles. This is disgusting.

[B]

No, a lot of them. But see that's the thing is that a lot of them do scarily actually taste like what they are. But they're not like related to like, they're not officially branded.

[A]

I don't like the, the like film that it leaves in the film.

[B]

There's a film. And I don't like that either.

[A]

I'm with like that feeling. But I get the same thing from Captain Crunch, that film. I don't like that.

[B]

Oh, man, I'll.

[A]

I love Captain Crunch.

[B]

There's a new study that came out. It was like, Captain Crunch is the most unhealthy, bro.

[A]

By the way, can we like. It's Captain Crunch. I know it says cap in crunch. Oh, but who's pronouncing it?

[B]

Nobody. And if you ever meet, if you're.

[A]

Gonna correct me, I'm gonna cut your head off.

[B]

And honestly, I'll be right there with the saw. Okay, I'll hand you the saw to cut the head.

[A]

Oh, I was gonna do it with a sword. I've been watching Game of Thrones.

[B]

There it is. That's right. Rod sword stock.

[A]

Valerian steel, man.

[B]

Maybe. No, I don't want to rewatch that.

[A]

Pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. I wish that we could go back to the days of like 2011 when pre workout was basically just drugs or.

[A]

They were all named after shit that explodes. It was like TNT. No, C4, no explode.

[B]

TNT. Sodium bicarbonate. What are you drinking? Oh, me? I'm drinking Nitroglycerin xl. The Pussy Crusher.

[A]

Yeah, literally like that.

[B]

It was like, bro, I used to pit fire. Yeah.

[A]

Why are you drinking that?

[B]

Or they get like demonic with it. Like I remember there was one that was called like the Curse.

[A]

That's crazy. Oh, one time. This is the, the I took. I've only taken pre workout like a handful of times. The first time I ever took it in my life, I was like maybe 23 years old. And it was called assault.

[B]

Yeah, it was literally called assault.

[A]

And I. I thought my heart was going to dude burst out of my chest.

[B]

1. There was one that was called like the Demon. And I. And I remember Danny and I had taken it. My brother in law and he was. I actively texted him. Like I blacked out for 40 minutes and I woke up at the end of a fucking insanity video. Yeah, like it's crazy there.

[A]

Why I could feel every hair on my body and just be like, I'm fucking Jesus, dude.

[B]

I swear to God, I actively said out loud like this is what I imagine Emperor Palpatine feels like.

[A]

See, and now this is what you gotta do. You gotta fuckin say Star wars shit in the middle of this.

[B]

Because like I remember I would feel like electricity, bro. In that moment. Whether it was because of the possible traces of amphetamines in the pre workout.

[A]

Which there were a lot.

[B]

There were some. Or because of my inability to grow up, I felt like I could shoot electricity out of my hands. Good, do it. Seriously, I'm telling you, you know. But yeah, no, just circling back. Your mom is a very kind person. Clearly your dream.

[A]

I just had a dream.

[B]

I will say it was probably related to some things that may or may not have been said about certain people that might have been running for office in certain parts of this country or the whole country.

[A]

Certain.

[B]

You know. But yeah, so you know, I don't even know that is after what happened with the Yankees.

[A]

What was the last. Was the last dream you had that you can remember? Man, don't fucking lie and make something up.

[B]

No, I'm. Honestly, I'm serious right now. I really can't remember much. Oddly enough the ones that I can remember are the ones that are like nightmares. Like, I wake up scared.

[A]

Oh. But sometimes I have dreams that like aren't cool. Like it was like I had a dream that I was like on my couch and then I wake up and be like, I wasn't on my couch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's so stupid.

[B]

That is very stupid. And I'll go one step further and say, have better dreams, dude.

[A]

I know, like that that makes me feel like there's something wrong with.

[B]

I get really worked up when I do have a dream and I'll tell someone about it and they'll be like, what do you think of me? And it's like I don't actively think anything about you. Sort like your mom.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, I. I never. I don't think I've ever dreamed of your mom.

[A]

Fucking better not.

[B]

But like what I'm saying is like in that situation, like your mom could be like, what do you think of me? And it's like, I'm not thinking you're a racist at all.

[A]

Yeah. You think I'm planting this style in my head.

[B]

I think there was one time I had a dream about you and you. You said. And like I told you about. You were like, what do you think of me? And I was just like, nothing bad.

[A]

But just like, oh, oh, but that was crazy.

[B]

Which one was it? Do you remember?

[A]

I think I don't remember exactly what it was, but, like, I think you. You had a dream that I called you, like, disgusting or something. Like, ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah, it might have been. But, like, again, I don't think you're a bad person. But, like, maybe it's my fears. Maybe I'm afraid you're secretly a bad person.

[A]

There's a dream expert just being like, ooh, and just going crazy.

[B]

Oh, my God. There are people. There are people that love horoscopes right now that are just like. Well, wait until you find out what happens if you have teeth in your dream.

[A]

Yeah. Which I used to have that dream a lot.

[B]

Yeah, your teeth.

[A]

I had a dream once that, like, I was eating and, like, my tooth. My teeth, like, chipped or something. I was like, oh. So I went to the mirror and I went like this. And then all my side teeth were, like, welded together. Like it was one big tooth debunk that.

[B]

I gotta say. That sounds kind of cool, dude, to.

[A]

Have one big side mouth tooth if.

[B]

All right, so there are, like, three, four parts of your teeth. Okay.

[A]

Are you about to give me a Lesson on teeth, Dr. Alvarez?

[B]

Yes, I am. Patient bitch.

[A]

Tell me about the four parts of my teeth. And if you say. If you say top or bottom, I'm gonna come over there and assault you.

[B]

Right. So I won't say top or bottom.

[A]

Don't say roots either.

[B]

Okay, I won't say roots, baby.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Okay. Different parts of your mouth have different purposes. Okay.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Okay. The front part of your teeth right here, they're called incisors because they're meant to scissor. They're meant to say cutting the food. You know, when you bite something, you cut it with this. You know, your canines, you have them sharp.

[A]

I know. I got sharp canines.

[B]

Kind of cool, though. You gotta be honest.

[A]

I could bite beers open.

[B]

You could be like, dad.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. Well, you could, I guess.

[B]

I guess. But those are meant to puncture.

[A]

Puncture.

[B]

And those start the incisors, and then. So maybe it's three parts of the teeth, molars, then. The molars are meant to grind them into a paste.

[A]

Damn, dude. Look, you're doing. You're grinding on nipples right now, is.

[B]

What you're doing, right? Yeah. Are you. Are you a. How many fingers on nipples are you going? Are you going two? Are you going three? Are you going more?

[A]

I don't go like this. What am I, Tony?

[B]

Surprised? Like, begging for nipples?

[A]

I don't wanna be a chicken.

[B]

Nipple. Nipple.

[A]

I don't know. I Feel like I'm more like saying hi.

[B]

You're more. Oh, you're more.

[A]

Well, I'm not waxing on and off.

[B]

I'm not doing this.

[A]

I don't know, I think you're. Sometimes I'll. You know, I can't speak from.

[B]

I can't speak from experience with you because you've never rubbed nipples in front of me and you've never touched my nipples, right?

[A]

Well, I can't get close to your nipples.

[B]

Damn right you can't.

[A]

You got an electric fence around those things.

[B]

Damn right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So like I imagine I've probably pinched your nipple. Like you're like a, you know, you're like. You're like. You're like a white man that doesn't know how to salsa dance. What is this? You know, like that's what I imagine you are, Frank.

[A]

Why would I be doing this?

[B]

You're like a Dr. Strange.

[A]

No, no, you're not doing that. I feel like you would do that.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, you would. Mr. Comic Books. Oh, fucking guy.

[B]

The Book of Ashanti plays with your titties.

[A]

I don't even know what that means. The Book of Ashanti.

[B]

I'm all hyped. I'm jacked up today.

[A]

I can tell.

[B]

I took the curse before.

[A]

That's a must. Salt before I got here. Speaking of nothing brands, I guess we do have some sponsors. The first one being. How you doing? Rocket Money. Okay. Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket. All right. How are they going to do that? They're going to find and cancel on one of the subscriptions that you may have signed up for. Either by accident, you thought it was a free trial, or it's something that you were using two years ago, but you haven't used it since then. So you can put the money back in your pocket, stop paying the $8 every single month. All right, so they're going to find and cancel stuff like that. They also have a budgeting tool to help you be more responsible with your spending every single month. And they also have a feature that will help you lower your bills. You upload a picture of your bill and if they can help you lower it, they will do that as well. So it's nice. So you should stop wasting money on things you don't use. Also, Rocket Money has over 5,5 million users and have saved a total of $500 million in cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all the apps Features. So on average, $740 a year that you're saving, you're finding and canceling those things, putting the money back in your pocket. Would you rather have $740 or flush it down the toilet? Easy answer. So go to RocketMoney.com basement right now to find and cancel all those unwanted subscriptions. Put the money back in your pocket. Again, that is Rocketmoney.com basement. So, yeah, put the money back in your pocket, folks. You don't want to be, you know, living without it. Also, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. It's customizable so you can talk to a therapist, you know, at any frequency that you want. If you want to do it weekly or biweekly or bi monthly or whatever the case is, you can do so with BetterHelp. And yeah, you just go onto their website, you fill out some stuff, and then they will pair you with a therapist in just under 48 hours. So it's a very quick onboarding. But they also make it very easy to jump from therapist to therapist. So you can write that. Find the right fit for yourself because that is a very important part of therapy. You don't want to just have someone across me that you're kind of like, I don't really vibe with this person and I have to tell his personal stuff too. So find the right fit for you. And then, you know, you should be good, you know, and one of the biggest things is, you know, it's very expensive usually to have in person therapy. And if you don't have the right insurance, it's still, it's, it's wildly expensive. So BetterHelp is, you know, a more affordable version of that as well. So we're gonna save you some money. On top of that, you know, you can visit betterhelp.com basementyard today to get 10% off of your first month. Okay, that is betterhelp.com basementyard to get 10% off of that first month. Spelled B E T T E R h e l p.com but yeah, I think that everyone should be in therapy. I've been in therapy, but yeah, so go check it out. Betterhelp.com basement yard.

[B]

And guess what? While you're using those apps, maybe there's another one that you could use. Go to patreon.com thebasement yard Folks, we love and appreciate all of our patrons. We love and appreciate everyone. That even if you're not a patron, but you get a little extra love from us, we're kidding. We love you all equally. Thank you so much for all the patrons that have gone to patreon.com thebasemanyard and supported us. Because that's exactly what that is doing is that is supporting us, that is supporting me, that is supporting Joe, that is supporting the studio. So we are working on, you know, some things that we can't really talk about right now in order to give you guys more stuff, more for your buck. So go check it [e-mail] thebasereneurity Sign up for that first tier. As it stands right now, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance and then that second episode, well, you get not a second episode. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday with that second tier. If you sign up. And guess what, if you know you're new to the game and you're wondering, like, oh, well, am I going to be able to watch? Everything that has ever been on there previously will be at your fingertips. So you'll have hundreds of hours of exclusive episodes ready for you for the taking. So go check it out. Patreon.com thebasemanyard thank you guys so much for helping us continue to grow and move in the right direction, which, you guessed it, is up. So thank you again. Patreon.com the Basement Yard well, I think.

[A]

That this story, I think someone sent it to me and they were like, this feels like a basement or a topic. And like, they're not wrong. Apparently the North Korean soldiers are addicted to porn because they just got access to it for the first time. Because I don't think you're allowed to watch porn in North Korea.

[B]

No. North Korea is pretty strict on their Internet access.

[A]

No P O R. And we're not.

[B]

Not saying anything about them.

[A]

Who?

[B]

North Korea?

[A]

I mean, we're not there. It's fine.

[B]

No, we're like, they.

[A]

I know they got. That's true.

[B]

If they saw that Seth Rogen James Franco movie, you think they're not seeing us.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Oh, no, wait, one of those.

[A]

Yeah, those in theaters, like, once a podcast. But also, didn't. That was their balloon, wasn't it? Am I making that up? I can't remember.

[B]

I think there was China.

[A]

Oh, China.

[B]

I think it was China's balloon.

[A]

Can't remember you.

[B]

Isn't that crazy? Doesn't that speak to how insane our world is that there is a balloon maybe from China just like hanging out above our country and then not one balloon. Well, and then we just forget about it?

[A]

Yeah, stuff's happening these Days there's some stuff happening. It's just the shit is burning. It's happening. And we're, you know, the reason that.

[B]

Yeah. So the North Korean soldiers were sent to assist in the Ukraine and Russian war, which we're not going to touch on that. But now they have access to the Internet for the first time and apparently they've been going porn crazy, right?

[A]

Yeah. Which they have unrestricted Internet access in Russia and the first thing they do when they get there there was like big tits. It's fucking crazy.

[B]

Do you think a well jerked off soldier is a better soldier or a worse soldier?

[A]

Frank, I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response because. What are you talking about?

[B]

Well, like, it, like, let's use the logic of. All right, let's go back to ancient Greece. Ancient Rome. Okay. Too far back.

[A]

No, I just don't know. What are you asking me?

[B]

I'm saying, do you think, like, their mentality is just like, if they are celibate and they don't masturbate, they don't have sex, they're a better soldier or a worse soldier? Like, would you want someone that's just fat balls? I have no idea, bro. You don't know?

[A]

No, I don't know that that plays a part in it.

[B]

I mean, I'm going to say.

[A]

I just think it's interesting. I think it's interesting that like the second you get unrestricted access to the Internet, it's like that's like that. Is that like innate in people? Because when you're younger and you're like 11 or something, or 12 or I don't know when we started looking at porn, but like, yeah, as soon as you get like a computer that you're like, no one's around, you're like, you Google like girls with see through shirts. Wet T shirt contest.

[B]

You go to wet White T shirts dot com.

[A]

Bro, I'm not kidding. When I was younger, I would look up wet T shirt contests. Why would I not just look at no shirt?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

[A]

That's. But I was like, oh, wet T shirt contest. I'm like, that was cool.

[B]

That's a weird thing. Do you remember if you would just stay watching TV up until a certain time, you'd see the commercials for Girls Gone Wild. Do you remember?

[A]

I don't remember that.

[B]

What?

[A]

I honestly don't remember that. I've never seen Girls Gone Wild ever.

[B]

I mean, I've never seen it either, but I remember it would be like midnight or 1am watching TV midnight.

[A]

Or 1am how old, Frank? I mean, because my father, I was like 13.

[B]

Maybe like 14. 12, 13, 14. Around that age. And like it would be like, order today. This is when you had to listen. If you were addicted to porn in the early. In the late 90s, early 2000s, you were working.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Because you better have a good job.

[B]

You had to mail in a check. You had to call this number. Yeah. Mail in like four checks for like 1608 each. Yeah. Then get back a tape.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was just like.

[A]

Having tapes of porn to me is so bananas.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Having actual, actual physical porn is a fully ripe banana.

[B]

Well, that was before like the Internet now.

[A]

I know, but like a box of porn. Dude, relax.

[B]

Yeah, that was. That was the thing back then is that you had a porn collection.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What movie was that?

[A]

40 year old.

[B]

40 year old virgin. He's just like, here's my porn collection. It's yours now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Crazy. Like, do you remember there was a video store in our neighborhood that we would sneak into the back, the porn section of it and they had XXX and they had like. It would be like, you would see just the name at the top and there was like a black card in front of the picture and you would move the black card and it was just like.

[A]

I do remember that.

[B]

Just like. Yeah. Girls Gone. Well, you don't remember those commercials where it was just like, we went to the craziest New Orleans. Yeah.

[A]

Orange. What did I just say?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I said new Orleans. We went to New Orleans.

[B]

They would do like seasonal tapes. They'd be like, guess what's out? The Mardi Gras tape.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Girls Gone Wild, volume eight. Mardi Gras Mamas.

[A]

How did that start, by the way? We're gonna give you beads if you show us your tits. How is that any even trade?

[B]

Google that, baby. Where did tits for beads come from? I mean, because honestly, if I'm dumping it out, I want to see. I want something better than beads.

[A]

Yeah. I want like, give me something that.

[B]

I can get at any bar mitzvah. I go to.

[A]

Bar mitzvah?

[B]

Yeah, babe.

[A]

I've never been to a bar mitzvah.

[B]

I was the king of bar mitzvah.

[A]

I know you had a lot of Jewish friends.

[B]

Bar and bat mitzvahs, man. I was.

[A]

Those are like the first Jewish people I had ever seen. Do you know that? I'm serious. Your Jewish friends were the only Jewish people I knew. Isn't that weird?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there's no. There's no Jews in our neighborhood.

[B]

There were not any Jewish people in our neighborhood that we knew of. Maybe they were hiding. Like they were like afraid to be open about their religion. It's possible there are people like that.

[A]

But not in our neighborhood.

[B]

How do you know?

[A]

Because it was a nice neighborhood.

[B]

Oh, you say that. You never know. Yeah, I guess that's the whole idea. If they're afraid to say that they're. They're afraid to be openly Jewish because they were afraid.

[A]

There was no synagogues in our neighborhood either.

[B]

That is correct. But that doesn't mean they can't travel for them.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just saying. What, what was I typing in?

[B]

Where did Boobs for Mardi Gras come from?

[A]

Boobs for beads. Mardi Gras.

[B]

Hold on. While you're looking that up, I need to give a shout out to those. I think their podcast called like Almost Friday or something like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You ever seen the videos they do where the guy just grabs a Roku remote and speaks into it?

[A]

I fucking love that shit.

[B]

He's like stinky, sticky tits.

[A]

Stinky tits.

[B]

Reese Witherspoon kicked off of set for having just stinky tits. Yeah, it's like stink lines cartoonishly coming from just giant tits.

[A]

The tradition of flashing for Marty Barry's beginning 1970s. So there's people who are named that were credited with this.

[B]

Oh, like the founders of Tits for Beads, basically. Who are they?

[A]

1976, Ann Lena Curtis, a 19 year old artist from Jackson Square, may have been the first to flash for beads. She sat on a friend's shoulders above the crowds and stretched down her bare chest to the writers. Stretched down to show her bear. Bro, I'm thinking. What? Yeah, stretch them down.

[B]

If you're gonna. If you're gonna knock your tits out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you going up or are you going down?

[A]

That's a good question, right? If it was me, because I probably.

[B]

Go up, I would go up too.

[A]

Going down's like.

[B]

But that's when women wore more like blouses and stuff. Like Teach Crew neck T shirts are a lot more popular.

[A]

I think if you got big knock bags, you gotta go up.

[B]

Well, you can't get them. Ruin it. You'll ruin a shirt.

[A]

Ruin the neck of the shirt.

[B]

Ruin the neck of a shirt. Yeah, you know, so. Yeah.

[A]

But if you got cool. If you got cool little ones, then you should be like fucking, you know, I mean, or it depends what kind of shirt you're wearing.

[B]

Yeah, it could. If it is a blouse.

[A]

If it's a structured neck. You gotta go up. Yeah. You're gonna ruin the shirt.

[B]

Yeah. What? Feels more like just. Just go. Just go. Yeah. Wait, why did someone see a pair of tits and then just give her beads?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. And then this, it says in 1975, this is Alex Allen and Robert Spencer. These feel like made up names.

[B]

Robert Spencer. Something Ronald Reagan is coming to mind, right?

[A]

No, that's wrong. Allen and Spencer witnessed a young woman on a balcony flashing for beads in 1975. So. Oh. Oh, no, those are different years because I was gonna say maybe they saw Ann Curtis or whatever the fuck. Some say the practice started in the gay community and spread in popularity. Stole it from the gays.

[B]

Classic.

[A]

Stealing from the gays.

[B]

The coolest thing comes from the gays. I'm telling you right now.

[A]

Other than name one other thing. Go.

[B]

Really like fruity drinks. What? Those are good, right?

[A]

I saw a tick tock the other day. Mad funny. It was like a girl like out on a date and a guy over there and he's like drinking and it just says like, stop ordering an old Fashioned. We know you don't like it. Just get the strawberry daiquiri, bro. I am not like that. I'm getting the motherfucking like flamingo. The flying flamingo.

[B]

I watched Joey get a glass of wine in a glass bird with a straw in its ass.

[A]

Are you fucking. Drink the shit out of it, dude.

[B]

And I'll be honest with you, it looked way cooler than any Manhattan I've ever had in my entire fucking.

[A]

That was good, you know?

[B]

Oh, there's an orange peel and muddled cherry. Cool. Give me the one that has mango.

[A]

And fucking salt pineapple or something.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah. It comes in a hollowed out coconut. Uh huh.

[A]

I've done that before. That's a lot of fun. One time I got a coconut and it had the circular ice in it and the drink in there, bro, it was like, this is the best thing.

[B]

And then of course, you know, like everyone's just like, no, I'm not gonna drink diet. You know, give me. Just give me an ass cold lager. Stop.

[A]

Yeah, Stop. Yeah. Pissed off. Love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stole from the case. I don't know how.

[B]

Wait, who's flashing Gays are showing their tits to others.

[A]

I mean, wait, what?

[B]

But like lesbian lesbians. Yeah.

[A]

You know, actually no, I guess that makes sense. I was gonna say like gay is just like gay men. You think of gay men. Yeah, but gay is also lesbian.

[B]

Like lesbian gay is lesbian.

[A]

So they. But what is the origin of that.

[B]

Word, lesbian and gay?

[A]

I guess because we have the world.

[B]

At our fingertips right there and we.

[A]

Why does it start from gay? Because like homosexual. Sounds like a scientist made that up.

[B]

Exactly. That's a Latin term for it, you know.

[A]

How did the word gay.

[B]

Because gay used to be like, dude, like Sinatra was saying it and something tells me he wasn't really, you know, an ally. So I imagine that they. That someone just like took it and just be like, oh, overly happy. That's the gay people.

[A]

Oh, because gays are happy.

[B]

I mean, they were pretty not happy probably. They were probably not very happy when they were being pelted with insults.

[A]

Yeah, that's probably.

[B]

Look at how happy they are that I'm pointing at them and trying to kill them.

[A]

What the fuck? This says the word gay originated in the 12th century from the old French word gay, which meant full of joy or mirth. Mirth.

[B]

What is mirth?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm assuming, like, the hell is mirth? Is mirth the way to say mirth?

[A]

Mirth. We're in a deep rabbit hole.

[B]

This rabbit hole. You could find the fucking cup of tea on the table in this one. Alice in Wonderland.

[A]

Okay? Mirth. Amusement, especially as expressed in laughter. His six foot frame shook with mirth.

[B]

Hold on. So you're telling me we took words that describe just absolute happiness and joy and use them as slurs for fucking?

[A]

No, no, that wasn't.

[B]

Sucking and fucking.

[A]

No, that wasn't. That wasn't the slur.

[B]

But gay.

[A]

Gay isn't as well. It was used.

[B]

They were using it like.

[A]

No, back then they're saying the original word of gay meant like. That's what it meant. It meant full of joy. Yeah.

[B]

So you're. So they were calling a group of people that they.

[A]

Bro. The word gay.

[B]

Listen to me.

[A]

You're not listening.

[B]

I am listening, but it's my turn to listen to you, to listen to me. Okay, I understand that gay meant mirth.

[A]

Full of mer.

[B]

Full of mirth. Which. Everything that you've read about the word gay sounds happy, joyful, laughing, a ton.

[A]

Mirth.

[B]

And now they're using that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

People use that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As like a slur to homosexuals.

[A]

Yeah. Like you're so happy.

[B]

You're so happy and full of joy and laughter.

[A]

You have so much mirth.

[B]

Yeah. Jesus Christ, what's wrong with this world?

[A]

I've never heard the word mirth before.

[B]

Never have. Not once. Look up, look up where lesbians come from. Like, the word.

[A]

When did they get.

[B]

We know. We know where they come from.

[A]

Where do they come from, Frank?

[B]

Farms.

[A]

Farms?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, when you think of lesbians, you think of farms. Yeah, I don't.

[B]

Can I have my water back?

[A]

What? Yeah. How about. There's nothing. Oh, there's a little bit in there. How did the word lesbian come about? The word lesbian comes from the Greek island of Lesbos.

[B]

I've heard of this.

[A]

Oh, my God. Dude, I thought you guessed that.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

You would have had me going.

[B]

It sounds familiar now that you said that. Lesbos. And it was like a mythological island of women and stuff like that. Right? It's basically where, like, the idea of Wonder Woman came from.

[A]

So much lesbian research done.

[B]

No. Yeah, it was called, like, Lesbos, and it was like a mythical. Of, like, warrior women. Now that I. Now that you said that. It, like, now I remember it.

[A]

Wow. Interesting.

[B]

Yeah. You. By the way, you ever hear about where, like, the origins of Wonder Woman, the character? Yes. Well, it's actually. It was made into a movie. It was called, like, Dr. Something and the Wonder Woman or something like that. Or.

[A]

But am I gonna care about this? Do you know?

[B]

I mean, it's interesting. Okay. She was made to be, like, a symbol of, like, BDSM and, like. Yeah. Submissiveness. The whip. Yeah, It's a rope. It's not lasso. Excuse me? Lasso. The lasso of truth.

[A]

Yeah. Whip. Take it easy.

[B]

Yeah, sorry.

[A]

The paddle.

[B]

No, but, like, the. It's like Dr. Martin and the Wonder Women or something like that. He made them to be like, this is a powerful, submissive woman.

[A]

Is she submissive if she's got the lasso?

[B]

Well, no, it was. It was read. They took it back and they were just like, oh, yeah, bitch. Oh, from Let Boss.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's funny. We do have some more sponsors before we continue our. On the Greek island.

[B]

We go back to the island of lesbians.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. We do have prize picks. Prize picks. It's a best place to get real money sports action.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

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[B]

There are a few moments in history that really rob you of what you feel is the validation you deserve.

[A]

This better be good. Whatever you're setting up better be good.

[B]

We didn't get named the Sexiest podcast host of 2024. Joey.

[A]

What?

[B]

We didn't get named the Sexiest podcast host of 2024.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That was two weeks. It was weeks ago that that happened, and it came out. I was pretty devastated, too. First of all, I don't think we were even on the list. Act. What am I doing? Act with me. No, the directors might be watching. The directors might be watching.

[B]

They might be watching.

[A]

Okay, let's use a real voice, though, because we're doing a podcast. And stop whispering so. Because I could barely hear. What do we need to do to be sexier?

[B]

Be quieter.

[A]

I don't know. Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey, they were named the podcast the sexiest podcast of 2024.

[B]

Hosts of 2024.

[A]

We didn't get runner up. We didn't.

[B]

We didn't get. Not only did we not get runner.

[A]

Up, we didn't get bronze.

[B]

We weren't even on the podium, babe.

[A]

We. I don't think we were in the voting.

[B]

Number two was. Or they beat out Penn Badgley.

[A]

Who's that?

[B]

You.

[A]

What?

[B]

You. You.

[A]

No. What is Penn Badgley?

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

Who is that?

[B]

You?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What do you. Do you not watch?

[A]

Frank, now you're fucking.

[B]

No, I'm not. Do you not watch what? You. You gotta be kidding me. Please tell me I was in a show called yes.

[A]

What the fuck?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

About the killer guy. Oh, you did the who's on first thing to me.

[B]

No, I did not.

[A]

Yeah, you got me. You could have said it was a show.

[B]

You could just admit to the fact that you're fucking too stupid to have picked up what I was putting down. No, I had a bread basket of knowledge put in front of you and you're a dumb gluten free idiot. You didn't pick it up.

[A]

Shut up. Who's third?

[B]

Josh Peck, bro, listen. What? Listen, listen. And then the other one, I saw the name of the other.

[A]

Did they not see Frank's shirt? You're not going to put this guy in a list. Josh Peck.

[B]

That was my Josh Peck impression.

[A]

That one more time.

[B]

Josh Peck.

[A]

Frank. That's no one. That's not an impress.

[B]

The other one that was odd was T.J. holmes. This is a good looking guy.

[A]

Who the fuck is that?

[B]

I gotta admit, it's pretty good looking dude. Yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

That one, he's got a man's jaw. You know what I mean?

[B]

He, he's got everything about it and he's got like a little salt and pepper like.

[A]

I know you're so horny for that.

[B]

Well, I'm not horny for any man. Let's be very honest.

[A]

I'm saying you're horny for men.

[B]

I am not full of mirth, okay?

[A]

You're fear Murthy.

[B]

No, you are. I'm girthy. Not Murphy. Okay.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Barely.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But like listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not calling Josh Peck or Penn Badgley or definitely not that guy ugly.

[A]

Right? We just want a bid.

[B]

I just, I think this. Imagine audience. Close your eyes. Imagine Travis and Jason.

[A]

Kelsey, you say Imagine dragons.

[B]

Imagine dragons.

[A]

Imagine dragons. Radioactive lightning and Dunda.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Dunda. Dunda.

[A]

Yeah. I can't tell if I love or hate that band.

[B]

I don't know what they are. Are they a band? Are they DJs? Are they people?

[A]

I don't know. It's an interesting genre.

[B]

Have you ever seen Imagine Dragons? And like you could say like that's them.

[A]

I've seen that. I've seen videos of the lead singer.

[B]

Can you point that? Can you point them out in a crowd?

[A]

No, I can't point anybody out in a crowd.

[B]

Basically point Selena Gomez out in a crowd.

[A]

Yes, I can.

[B]

Can you point Tyler, the creator out in a crowd?

[A]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. You can point out Imagine Dragon. Okay. They're like, like no one really knows what they. It's how many are there?

[A]

Who's the one? Not how many dragons are there? You remember? I think there's like five dragons.

[B]

Really? I think so they play instruments or do they?

[A]

Yeah, no, they play instruments.

[B]

They do. So they're a band of dragons there.

[A]

Yes, they're a band of dragons. I don't know about this, but it's kind of like. Not that it's like this, but you remember, like, what's the name of that band Gorillas, where they was like, oh, they're gorillas.

[B]

They're cartoons.

[A]

Keith loved that.

[B]

That's a good song.

[A]

That's all I know.

[B]

And he's just like. He looks like every emo kid. Like, the cartoon is like a cartoon draw.

[A]

Yeah, it's all cartoons.

[B]

The kids that spent way too much time at Hot Topic and, like, grew up and had a Nightmare on Elm Street. No Nightmare Before Christmas tattoo.

[A]

That was almost you. But what. Why was I even. Oh, what were you saying?

[B]

Imagine dragons.

[A]

Not Imagine dragons. Who said, close your eyes, imagine to people?

[B]

Are Imagine dragons fun?

[A]

Fun?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What does that mean? Are they fun?

[B]

Are they fun? Like, are they the same?

[A]

What the fuck does that even mean?

[B]

Gotta be kidding me. It's gotta be another bit of yours.

[A]

Are they fun?

[B]

Are they fun? Like, are they the same or are they different?

[A]

Who, Frankie?

[B]

Imagine dragons and fun.

[A]

Oh, okay, now I see you. Why are you trying to set me up?

[B]

Trying to set you up, Frank, you.

[A]

Know that I would get confused with that. I forget that there's a fucking band named Fun.

[B]

Oh, forgive me. You got music mogul Frankie. You're sitting there and you have all the fucking pen. Oh, don't. Don't you dare.

[A]

You said, are Imagine dragons fun?

[B]

Are they the same? If I said is Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, you would get that right immediately.

[A]

Frank, you know that fun is an adjective. You know that?

[B]

I do know that. I. Forgive me for thinking and.

[A]

No, they're vastly different.

[B]

Very, very high standard for your intellect that you are clearly just trying to fucking chip away.

[A]

I bet you do.

[B]

I'm just saying, are they not the same?

[A]

No, absolutely not. Are you sure, Frank? They don't even sound similar in the slightest.

[B]

Well, one is just a little more like, you know, like, I'm gonna sing on, like, a Call of Duty game. And one is like, I'm gonna sing on like a, you know, just dance game. I base most musicians off of where video games, clearly.

[A]

Yeah, they're completely different. Not even close genres.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Haven't had it have fun song in a while. But they were great.

[B]

Well, we know that their big one was tonight. We are young.

[A]

That's a banger. What's the one where's, like, I was doing coke in the bathroom and the Empire State Buildings outside or something like that. My friend. My friend. What was it?

[B]

It was like cocaine.

[A]

No. What the fuck? Oh, no. My friends are in the bathroom Getting higher than Empire said. What did I say?

[B]

My friends are in the bathroom Getting higher than the Empire State, My love and she's waiting for me Just across the bar My. I think that's the We Are Young song.

[A]

Yeah, I think so. I think so.

[B]

Did I ever tell you I saw my dad cry listening to that song?

[A]

What? Your Colombian dad, who I've only heard listen to Colombian radio, heard a fun song and cried at which part of.

[B]

The song was Christmas Eve?

[A]

Christmas Eve tonight. We are young.

[B]

It was Christmas Eve. And my dad was driving us, my brothers, my sister and I, to. I can't make fun of him too much for this, but I will because it's just like the weird parts of being a parent, but we. He was driving us to his brother's house for Christmas Eve because we would spend Christmas Eves with my dad. And it was on. And he was driving in the denali, windows down. December 24th. I get that from. I get that from my dad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love. No matter the weather outside. I like the windows down. Okay, but. And we were all in the car, Myself, my brothers, my sister. And the song was on. And he was driving us, and we're listening to the song. Probably sing along to it. And I look over at my dad and he's crying.

[A]

Oh. Because he's like, my kids are young.

[B]

My kids are here and they're singing.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Crazy, right? Wow. But. Yeah. What is the other fun song?

[A]

I don't know. But you told a lot of details just to say your dad cried to a song. You told us the windows were down. What the fuck does that have to do with the story?

[B]

It was Christmas Eve Most. I'll be honest, most of my memories in the car, my dad, the windows are down.

[A]

I.

[B]

When I found out that my middle school principal got hit by a bus. We were listening to How we do by the game and 50 Cent. Windows down.

[A]

Good song. Bad principal, by the way.

[B]

Bad principal. Great song. Great. You know, that was supposed to be so bad.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Like, I got it. I didn't sound like it was. What was his. He kind of looked like a. Like a. Not a Lou who? A who? Fun Whoville. No, no. Fucking.

[B]

Oh, the principal. Yeah, he did. He was a little bastard.

[A]

He had like a slick back.

[B]

He had slicked back hair. And he had voice. I remember that.

[A]

Yeah. Squirrely voice.

[B]

Squirrely Voice. I think he got in trouble for embezzlement and he got hit by a bus. And people cheered.

[A]

Yeah, I do remember people cheering.

[B]

People cheered.

[A]

I remember he yelled at me one time because I went to go, like, pick you guys up from school? Not pick you guys up, but, like, meet up you guys after school. And he was like, yelling at me.

[B]

I was like, I don't even go, yeah, whatever. But so what I was getting to before we got into Imagine Dragons and fun. Close your eyes, audience. Oh, their eyes are still closed. Open them. We've been talking the whole time. Close them again.

[A]

No one closed their eyes. It's fine.

[B]

Imagine Travis Kelsey and Jason Kelsey.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Without having ever played sports at a very competitive level.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And with a couple few dollars. That's us, baby.

[A]

A couple less dollars.

[B]

Less. Yeah, fewer dollars. Yeah, that's us.

[A]

A big fat couple.

[B]

I'm a big burly dad.

[A]

So you're Jason.

[B]

I'm Jason. I am. We are.

[A]

And I'm Travis.

[B]

Dude, you look like him when you smile. I'm serious. No, no, no. When you do, like, your actual smile, that, like, people could see the resemblance. And if I just had a long beard, right?

[A]

And you were like a hundred pounds heavier of solid muscle, not 100 pounds heavy.

[B]

Careful. Okay? Because you said solid muscle and you didn't know.

[A]

He's like a fucking. He's yoked.

[B]

It's funny that I said that because I just got a. Just got a cramp from just shrugging.

[A]

Yeah, no, I mean, that's not bad. I mean, you're probably closer to Jason Kelsey than I am to travel.

[B]

No, I think, Frank, I would need.

[A]

To grow a whole foot.

[B]

Okay, let's start with that. Correct. He's only six two, so you are right.

[A]

How tall is he?

[B]

No, he's like six. Six. I think he's got to be a big guy. Yeah, he probably. I think he's like six six and like 260. Travis.

[A]

Travis Kelsey's not 260, dude. He's six five. So he's got inches on me.

[B]

He's got a whole foot on you. That's crazy.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

You said it.

[A]

Let's go. Travis Kelsey, weight. Holy shit. He's £250. Told you, big guy.

[B]

Yeah. We are the poor man's new heights.

[A]

We are the old depth, poor poorer man. We are old, poorer men of them.

[B]

We should just call our show Old Heights. Old depths.

[A]

No, old shorts. Depths, Old weights. Height, weight.

[B]

The opposite of heights are depths, valleys, peaks.

[A]

What are you not getting I'm trying out other words.

[B]

Old. Depths is a great word.

[A]

I don't like the word depths. Why? Also, you're mispronouncing it somehow.

[B]

Well, you want it to be mirth.

[A]

As a great word.

[B]

Pretty. Good word.

[A]

Pretty.

[B]

I'm just saying, like, I understand we might not be their level of sexy.

[A]

Well, they get it this year. I just want to be on the ballot for 20.

[B]

Just like a write in. Like, you know how like, like, people jokingly voted Harambe. Yeah, Like, Harambe got like 6% of votes. Ohio.

[A]

Like, yeah, just.

[B]

We just want to see People magazine. Who are our friends at this point in time? We have established a relationship with True. We have established. I don't need to be called sexy. Make it just like people's guys. Just a couple of guys, bro.

[A]

Two guys.

[B]

Two guys. Podcast host.

[A]

Like, yeah. Who won the most?

[B]

Two guys. Who won the most? Like, we're just guys. We're just guys. And it doesn't need to be like. It doesn't need to say like, the most or anything. It just needs to be this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It just be like, picture the most.

[A]

These guys.

[B]

The most.

[A]

That could be the name of the award. It's like, these guys.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, the most. These guys of podcasts were the most like these guys.

[B]

Well, not even just the most like these guys, but the most like those guys.

[A]

Right?

[B]

The most.

[A]

Like, see, that's what we are.

[B]

I think we are.

[A]

You know, like when people are like, oh, do you feel famous or whatever? I'm like, I'm not.

[B]

I just feel like people go, that guy. No, guys.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yo. Oh, my God, Travis.

[A]

Kelsey. It's like that guy.

[B]

Oh, it's like, oh, those guys.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That guy. Those guys. Oh, you're that guy. That's what I feel like.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I don't feel famous and I don't define what we are experiencing as fame.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I experience it as just like, oh, yeah, those guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because anytime someone recognizes me and they just go like, you're that guy. And yeah, that's what we're experiencing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So People magazine, make it. Make a.

[A]

We'd like to win an award for something. I don't even care what it is.

[B]

It doesn't even be a physical award. I doubt anyone's giving a physical award to Jason and Travis Kelce for being sexy.

[A]

I'll stop you there. I'd love a physical award.

[B]

Oh, okay. You can have it. I have a physical award to determine how sexy I am. That is my wife now. I Recant that. Because she's not an object. Oh, my God.

[A]

There it is. Oh, my God.

[B]

She makes me feel sexy. Here we go.

[A]

He said she's. There's. That's.

[B]

She's probably an award bitch. She is a. She is an absolute award that I consider every single day of my life.

[A]

You're trying to save it. But you called her an object. Wow. Get him.

[B]

Why me? There's other people to get right now. Get them. Yeah, you know people. There's some other people that might need get. Getting godded.

[A]

We're feeling murthy today, I think. Can I say that I don't know how to use it.

[B]

That sounds a little mean too.

[A]

How to get. How to use mirth. Cheeriness.

[B]

I am. I am full of mirth.

[A]

So it's like usage of the word mirth in the 1800s had a moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Steady decline up until 1950. But then it starts moving up.

[B]

Are we bringing mirth back?

[A]

Well, I don't.

[B]

What do you touch?

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

What?

[A]

It's like so. But look, you see how it's like. There's a dip in 1980. It's no one's mirth.

[B]

Well, everyone was on coke and they. Worse, they for some reason wore suits and rolled up the sleeves.

[A]

But mirth is on the rise.

[B]

Dude, we can do it. We have brought back Joey. Look at me. Seriously, look at me.

[A]

We can do it.

[B]

Look at me. With our show, with our words, we have brought back crap.

[A]

I don't know about crap. Laborious that came and went.

[B]

We can do it.

[A]

Had a moment, though.

[B]

We brought Red Lobster straight out of bankruptcy. And don't get me wrong, I see you guys tagging us and trying to use our juju to bring TGI Fridays out of bankruptcy. TGI Fridays. You need to earn it. Earn it. Earn our. Earn it. And we'll get. We'll pull you out just like we did Red Lobster. And just like we're doing with mirth.

[A]

I'm trying to look up laborious. Like the usage of that one and get this chart. Because if there was a fucking like then I. Then it. That would be crazy.

[B]

I'm just saying. Listen, I know people are going to say, you know, I went to school. I understand the use of statistics. I took classes. Quantitative Analysis of Statistics in Criminal Justice. This is all stuff that I did study and got a degree in. I just want to say, yes, causation does not necessarily. I'm sorry, correlation does not necessarily mean causation.

[A]

But in this situation, we're Going to.

[B]

We have revived some different stuff. Um, there's a tick. Give me a tick. Show me a tick.

[A]

It only goes up to 2019, so that was.

[B]

When did you think we started using it?

[A]

After that?

[B]

Yeah, way after that, honestly. But.

[A]

Oh, wait, hold on. 1800s to. Let me get. Let me get to 2023.

[B]

Oh, it has.

[A]

Oh, 2022. There's a very steady decline from the year 2010 to 2019, so. But there's no more data.

[B]

But I will say data.

[A]

Do you. Data?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What's data?

[B]

Data and data. Data and data.

[A]

But when do you use the one and the other data? Data is like computer. Oh, no, that's data.

[B]

Data's number. Data is computers. Technology's data. Numbers is data.

[A]

Data. Wait, which one's data?

[B]

Don't care. Why are we focusing on this data? All I'm saying is the numbers could. They're promising. We have brought back laborious Crap. Red Lobster. Our words have power. Okay.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what they say?

[A]

Our words.

[B]

Our words. Oh, God. What? This is a good episode, right? It's been fun. Our words.

[A]

Good. Pronounce.

[B]

Have power.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What do they say? The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both. Our tongue has revived.

[A]

Did you make that up?

[B]

No, baby. Revived. Laborious is revived. Crap. Red Lobster, TGI Fridays. You have a chance to do something really cool and maybe we'll get on board and help you out here.

[A]

TGI Fridays?

[B]

Yeah, they just filed for bankruptcy. They're looking.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Now people are tagging us like, you guys know what to do. We need your help here.

[A]

I've never even been inside one.

[B]

Okay, I have. And I've had some good times in.

[A]

TGI Fridays, so has anyone ever like, can you lick a sword, by the way?

[B]

Can you? Yes, absolutely you can lick a sword.

[A]

I'm not gonna ask how you know that, but think of.

[B]

Think of a sigh. You know what a sigh is? A mini. Like the mini swords that like Raphael has cuz he holds them like. Oh, those things. Yeah, it has like the. You know, like. Yeah, those are called size. They're just mini swords. You've never seen like, someone like.

[A]

No, I've never seen them in person either.

[B]

You've not played enough Mortal Kombat, babe.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

Yeah. Because you know who uses size in Mortal Kombat? Molina.

[A]

Carmen Electra. No.

[B]

Well, yeah, well, she's Electra, you know. Well, no, wait a sec. Carmen Electra is the act, the model, Elektra, who was played Did Carmen Electra play her? No, she was playing Jennifer Garner.

[A]

Feels like a missed opportunity.

[B]

It was, but also probably not right. But she has size correct. You know, and she punches sandbags. Mm, she hits sandbags. But then also Molina from Mortal Kombat, who is the failed clone between.

[A]

Too far. Too far.

[B]

Too much. You got a fucking lesson. He doesn't want me to get into the tar cotton army. But we're not gonna do that today. Well, depends if we're going Pre Mortal.

[A]

Kombat 1 and we gotta go. Oh, we ran out of time.

[B]

We were out of time.

[A]

Frank, where can they find you?

[B]

Okay, 85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media. Instagram, tick tock, bingo bango. Check it out. And then check out patreon. Patreon.com the basement yard. We love that you folks have been helping us grow on there. And we want to keep growing. So tell your friends the holidays are coming up if you want to gift a Patreon subscription. That's a great idea. Go check it out. Patreon.com TheBasement Yard Yep.

[A]

And you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at the Basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.

[B]

So Pre Mortal Kombat 1, the Tarkatans were an actual race.

[A]

I'm stopping it.

[B]

Okay.