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A
Of choice. I'm going the panties from the granny all the time. They look comfy.
B
But they make you.
A
Look like you crapped. I don't care if anyone thinks it looked like I crapped. It cares if I actually crap.
B
I mean, I care about that as.
A
Well, but, you know, who's looking at your. Your ass is garbage as it is.
B
Don't think it. You're. You always talk poop about my butt.
A
He's always talking poop about my butt.
B
Honestly, Joey, you get to sit there on your throne and your fat butt and then you're gonna make fun of the less fortunate.
A
It's not that you're less fortunate. It's just that you were born with less.
B
I'm a street rat when it comes to ass.
A
You're a street rat of ass. That's what you're.
B
Aladdin of ass.
A
You are. Honestly, that sounds pretty cool. You're. You're like the. You're. You're like the Quasimodo of ass. That's what you are.
B
But was he homeless?
A
He. No. Well, technically, he lived in a bell tower.
B
He lived in the church. He lived in Notre Dame.
A
But the top of the church. Wait, he's French.
B
Quasimodo's French.
A
Quasimodo.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
That just sounds like four motorbikes.
A
Quasimodo. Yeah.
B
No, I honestly didn't think that he was French, bro. Imagine looking like that and then also being French and sound and. You know what I'm saying?
A
Yeah.
B
Like a lot of things.
A
That's a lot of things going on at once. Because, you know, like, the French. To me at least the French dialect is a little tough on the ears. Like, it could be. It's a little, like, kind of oily.
B
Yeah.
A
But slippery. It's slippery, exactly. Yeah.
B
It's like all the words are, like, coming out before they're ready.
A
Yeah. You know, they're under baked. Everything comes out the oven too soft. A little too soft and mushy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but I don't remember where I was. But I am gonna revert back to the fact.
B
I'm sorry.
A
No. You acknowledge, rightfully so, that your ass is not your best feature.
B
Well, if we're doing a comparison.
A
But you got. Thanks. Other people need ass. You got face. Your face is your ass.
B
You know, my face is my ass.
A
People see people walking by, they go, damn. Like, that's a. But.
B
So you're saying my face.
A
Your face is a good.
B
My face is my big tits.
A
Yes.
B
Dude.
A
Okay. Yeah, exactly. You have big tits, but they're just on your cheeks.
B
It's on my face?
A
Yeah, on your cheeks.
B
What's your big tits?
A
My ass.
B
Your ass?
A
My ass is my tits. Yeah. My tits are kind of also tits right now.
B
What does that mean?
A
I need to get a little bit more. I would also say that my humor is my tits.
B
You've got big humor.
A
I have a good personality. Yeah. Which is, for me.
B
Lights up a room.
A
That's a room. Or lighter upper. Yeah.
B
There's an easy way to say that.
A
So back to what we were saying. You. Your. Your ass is not, you know, like, you know what your strengths are, but a little bit of. A little bit of leg workouts. You've also. You have a bum knee. You know, like, you said that your ankle was hurting you a couple months ago. Like, if you just start doing some, like, lower body workouts, your ass can be right. Your. Your tits. You know what I mean?
B
I gotta. I gotta start doing whatever the. The models on Instagram are doing.
A
Yeah. So back to what I was saying. Start off my morning with Monday Night Raw. Right? And then, you know, there wasn't a new episode of, like, Creature Commandos, so I would go and I watched the Digimon Adventure on.
B
Can we explain what that is? Is that an adult show?
A
Yeah, yeah, actually, it is. What is it? It's the first entry created by James Gunn in the new version of the dcu. It's Creature Commandos. It's a animated show on Max. What does. What do you.
B
What are your kids watching, like, in the bedroom with. With Becca? Because you're in the other room watching Creature Commandos.
A
Creature Command. I mean, they can't watch that. There's a lot of blood and stuff.
B
Oh, Creature Commandos and Digimon.
A
Digimon. Monday Night Raw. Right. They're watching classic kid shows. Bluey. Right? You know what is.
B
Does Becca. Does anyone in this house watch anything that's above, you know, Becca and I.
A
Started watching a show, a movie called Night Night. Yeah.
B
Is that about a. What is that about?
A
Well, it's in the name. Jesus Christ, Joey. Oh, my God.
B
Oh, a knight with a K. No, Night.
A
Like nothing.
B
As in. I assume it's not about a dog.
A
Yeah, it kind of is. It's about. Amy Adams is a stay at home mom and slowly feels her mental health kind of, you know, escaping her and envisions herself be turning into a dog at night.
B
Night bitch. That sounds like we made up the name for that.
A
I know. It's a movie.
B
Like, yo, we can get away with saying bitch.
A
Yeah.
B
Because it's a dog.
A
Yeah. Back when, like, just putting two cool words together was cool. You know what I mean? Fuck, suck.
B
You did that a lot. Yeah, well, but also, by the way, I just wanted to say on the way here, I saw a fantastic piece of graffiti that was probably the widest I've ever been in my life.
A
Fantastic piece of graffiti. What a piece of shit you are, dude. First of all, a single graffiti is a graffito, by the way, is that true? I think so.
B
Frank, you don't get to do those sentences back.
A
Like, one stick of spaghetti is spaghetto.
B
I heard that.
A
Yeah. So, like.
B
But no one. What's the reason for that? No one's ever gonna eat a spaghetto.
A
I mean, if you take one spaghetto and you spaghetto it up.
B
Do you think we can break the world record for the longest spaghetto?
A
What is it now? We have to look up what the longest spaghetto world record is. You.
B
You.
A
You phone, Frank. Back in action. You asked the question, world, Frank.
B
I'm asking the universe and earth. I'm not asking you to find out.
A
I'm gonna find out. World. Longest spaghetto is.
B
Whoa, is it long?
A
The world's longest noodle was created by an Asian company in China. And Yeah. Damn it. October 2017 took them 17 hours to roll out the single noodle by hand. And it was 10,000ft, which is about 3,000 meters. So about two miles. Forget it. A little under.
B
I'm not doing that. I was hoping it was, like, 10ft.
A
Yeah, me too. That would be a good one. Where they. Yeah, but we can start. You know how, like, Guinness, they have their world record stuff. We can do a Santa Gato studio.
B
World record book, but it wouldn't be the world.
A
But it's our world, baby.
B
Wait, is Guinness World Records, like, Guinness drinks beers?
A
I don't know. I'm gonna say I don't know, but I. Cause I don't know, dude.
B
I watched you have to actively not say something definitive that you don't know the answer to. You were like, I don't know. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even, you know.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Do we trust a beer company to, like.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, they pass in the world.
A
Let's be honest. They're probably around, like, involved in some capacity when these crazy, like, challenges are being done. Yeah. No one's doing this is sober, you know, they've had a couple Guinness, you know. By the way, I'm done.
B
It. I'M done with this, you know. But I saw like a thing of graffiti. I was driving by and it said on a. It was spray painted on just like scaffolding. And it said, pierced titties taste like house keys.
A
God damn. God damn.
B
Crazy.
A
That is crazy.
B
That is not inaccurate, though.
A
I can with confidence say I have never met my mouth to a railroaded tit.
B
What does that mean, railroaded?
A
You know what I mean? Like, I don't. It was like, you know, a lot of metal that goes into building railroads.
B
I've only come across three.
A
Two like individuals or like a set, and then an additional one. Like a one and a half type situation.
B
I'm talking about sets.
A
So three sets, You've come across two. Two sets is still a lot.
B
How is that a lot? I feel.
A
Who got their nipples pierced nowadays?
B
A bunch of people. When we're like 19, 20, I had.
A
An ex girlfriend's best friend get it done and like her and the girl that was her friend. My then at the time girlfriend showed up and she was just like, she got it done. Do you want to see? And I was like, no. And she's like, no, it's okay. I said that you could see it. And I was like, thank you, owner of my eyes. I don't want to see this severely inflamed nipple.
B
Oh, so you wanted to wait until the swelling went down.
A
I didn't want to see it at any point in time because I didn't want to see this girl's nipples.
B
Right.
A
And did they do. I can't remember if they just, you know, kind of showed me, but I've.
B
Heard that, like, it was against your will probably.
A
If it happened. No, if it happened. Definitely was against my will. Right. I've heard that to get a nipple piercing, they need to, like, take a chunk of your nipple out.
B
Well, I mean, if they're making a hole in your nipple, that hole has to go somewhere.
A
Well, no, because there's got to be.
B
Donut holes of nipples all over the earth. You ever think about that?
A
There's a little bit of nipple in everything.
B
In. In. Not in everything.
A
I mean, we are all. We are all. You know, we bend our knee to the nipple. In society, at one point in time, we most likely sucked from a nipple. Well, yeah, Provided life nourishment.
B
Right. Nipples.
A
It is weird. Just a different color in night. She gets eight nipples.
B
So she is becoming a dog. Spoiler. She gets eight nipples.
A
We didn't finish the movie.
B
Did you see all eight nipples?
A
We didn't Finish the movie because we fell asleep. We did get to a point where you saw six of the eight nipples.
B
So she wasn't fully.
A
She wasn't fully nippled out. Right?
B
She had some time.
A
Yeah. She. She had a bra on. Ms. Adams, she had three bras on. She had a bra on and then, like, more nipples.
B
The other nipples, did they look like dog nipples or. They look like woman nipples?
A
I mean, it's a great question, honestly.
B
You were asleep.
A
No, no, I'm just thinking, like, do dog. Do dog nipples and woman nipples.
B
They look different. They do, but, like, dogs don't have areolas. They just have like a little spike.
A
Like a.
B
You know, this is a conversation we're having.
A
You know what we should get, because we have our buddy Hank Green, who helps us with any science questions that we have.
B
I don't think that he specializes.
A
We need to get a. Like a. Like an animal person and hear me out.
B
An animal person.
A
An animal person. We have talked a lot last year about celebrity endorsements for the show. If you remember, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Swift, they were in the running. You know, there was a lot going on. They've since bowed out. Respectfully, Robert Irwin, There might be. There might be an opportunity for you here, bud.
B
Get him in here. Bring a croc in here. He doesn't need his mouth. No, no, no, no.
A
He doesn't need to come in here. He can just kind of like, be our boost his social media.
B
He's got to come in here. You've got to bring a croc.
A
Have we talked about his dad, Hope?
B
No, I would never talk.
A
Okay.
B
All right.
A
I just want to make sure you.
B
May have talked about him.
A
Not outwardly.
B
I feel like you were inwardly, and.
A
I heard it's hella. No, I would not. I don't think. No.
B
I love Steve Irwin, dude. It's on site for all the stingrays. I really don't fuck with them anymore.
A
Because I touch a stingray once and there was a part of me that was just like, I wanted to fucking swing at it.
B
I touched a stingray. It was before they did that.
A
That was a long time ago, brother. That was like 2008.
B
I was mad young. I went to. I think it might have been a school trip where you, like, touch him. Oh, I also didn't like it. I was like, I don't need to touch this. There's so many other animals I would rather touch in the zoo than a stingray. That.
A
Give me three lion. That's a. That's a good one. But scary.
B
Anything with fur, honestly. Over a stingray.
A
Okay. All right.
B
I'll pet a goat, bro.
A
I.
B
With goats.
A
Goats are hilarious, dude. Me and goats, we go way back.
B
I love goats. Alpacas, dude, those are people in suits. Those aren't animals.
A
They have alpaca farms in Jersey. I've been to a couple.
B
I've been to an alpaca farm.
A
Yeah, they're cool. They are. They are bigger animals than you think, though. They look like they are weak. They are not. They are strong.
B
Recently I went to one. It's like an open farm. Was in Canada. Alpacas, big fucking sheep. And the ghosts were ramming my legs.
A
Oh, you were getting rammed in the legs? They were.
B
Yeah, they were ramming me.
A
You're getting rammed.
B
There was one old one that had a weird hump and I was like, this shit is.
A
Get that away.
B
But he fucked with me.
A
I was like, moto of sheep it was.
B
And he was following me around, and I was like, I fuck with this guy. And I was like, yo, anybody tries to ram him, you're going to have to go through me.
A
Oh, so no one's ramming that sheep with the weird for you?
B
Yeah. And then there was a little jungle gym and there was a sheep. Not a sheep. A goat that, like, climbed the slide and was just laying.
A
Dude, Goats love to climb, dude.
B
That's where. If you saw the video on my Instagram of the big ass pig that pissed.
A
Yeah. Pissing pig.
B
What was her name? Name. Her name was, like, Darcy or some.
A
There you go.
B
It was a name of, like, a woman who yells.
A
I love that. Alice. It was Alice. I knew it. Alice. That yelled a lot, too. That's crazy.
B
That's what I'm saying.
A
She was Irish. I. I knew. I love when goats, like, run and jump off something and, like, do the, like, the back leg kick. Because they're so excited.
B
Yes.
A
They're like, yes, bro.
B
Also, these goats would, like, get up on their hind legs, then go like this, like. And then hit like that. And I was like, this is so awesome.
A
I will say, though, goats. Goats have better, like, designed heads. The fact that they have those horns that someone could just grab and have full control of them.
B
I mean, they're. They're fighting other goats, dude. They're not fighting things with hands. They're gonna fight monkeys.
A
Evolve. Evolve. The monkeys evolve to fight other animals. My guides. Dog eat dog out there. What did Charles Derwin say? It's. It's all a survival of the fittest. Darwin. Not Darwin. Yeah.
B
Yo. Also, there was ponies. Not as soft as I wanted them to be.
A
Yeah. So I gotta say, Po horses. Beautiful, soft, velvety. Love them mini ponies, though. They're like the white man with dreads. You know what I mean? Like, they're just like, ah, you're almost there. You know? Yeah. Come on.
B
I wish ponies were. We need to, like, shampoo them differently or something. I don't know.
A
Yeah.
B
Just, they're so coarse.
A
I agree, I agree. And I don't like those.
B
Sheep wool is kind of disgusting.
A
I like wool.
B
I like. I like it when we've processed it. Oh. And while it's on the.
A
Take it and call it manifest destiny and then just claim it as yours.
B
Well, no, you have to do that. That's good for them.
A
Well, you shear them. You don't need it. You could give it to somebody.
B
Do you know if you don't shear a sheep.
A
Yeah, I know. It's very sad. I will say, one of my favorite holes that I've ever went down on TikTok, where like, the sheep shearing people.
B
Yeah.
A
That are just like. It's like an old Irish guy, and he's like, this one hasn't had his shear in quite some time, and we're gonna help him feel right at home.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, And I'm just like, yeah, bro.
B
There was a guy I used to see on Tick Tock who was like, I think Irish also, but he had one of those little driver hats.
A
I love those.
B
And he, like, would restore old sword wood.
A
No, no, it's like a guy, he has, like. He's like, I. This is an old hammer from.
B
Yes.
A
My paw.
B
My pa. Yeah. And he'd be in a shed.
A
He's in a shed. He's like, this is an old hammer from my pots made of teak wood and red open tarpon wood or something. And, like. And I'm just like, yeah. And he, like, breaks it out and he's just like. Like.
B
He's like, fucking doing.
A
Yeah, dude.
B
I'm so scrubbing it. I'm like, yo, it's becoming, like a good hammer now.
A
Yeah, I love that. I love that. I also love the people that find, like, old rusted axes, bro. And they put them in that electric vat.
B
What the is that?
A
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But I like it. And then you see all the dirty rust come off of it. Yeah. Scraping it.
B
Dude. When people take jewelry and they just put it in that water and all sudden Dust comes off of it. I'm like, what is. Is that electrified water?
A
It's like a chemical. Yeah, it's. It's something.
B
I thought there was like a vibration thing going.
A
There is a vibration thing also. But I think that they probably. It's a. It's a specific chemical because the color is not like, it's like a light blue, sometimes like bluish green. You know, I will say this, if you want to get me in to, like, any, like, working with your hands, like, area of like, social media and tick tock. Yeah. The person that does it needs to be Irish.
B
Oh, my gosh.
A
Because if they're just like, hey, I'm gonna restore this ax.
B
Like, ill, whitey, get out of here. Hate that, dude.
A
Or if they're like, all right, today we found this beautiful. And I was like, yeah, yeah.
B
Now we're talking about. Yeah. I hate, I hate, hate when Americans try to restore stuff.
A
Yes, stop. And. Or when they just try to just full on take stuff and say it's ours now. Yeah, yeah. Like Canada, right? They're doing that.
B
Like, why are we taking Greenland? And.
A
And like, we want to take the Panama.
B
The Gulf of America.
A
The Gulf of America. Canada. Let's go.
B
Everything we were worried about is coming true.
A
Let's take it over the world. We got nothing to be afraid of, right?
B
I'd go to Greenland, though. Hers are like 20 inhabitable. Not that I would live there, but, like, I'd go look at it.
A
See, it's like, whoa, cool. Let's get out of there.
B
Yeah. Fly low so I could see it and then come home.
A
Yeah. I don't. I don't. I don't even know if I care.
B
That much, but about Greenland, I never think about that country.
A
I'll tell you this, though. Canada might be the. You know, rumors. That might be the 51st state.
B
Right. Which would be cool because if we opened up those borders, maybe the moose can walk around a little more. Maybe we'd see some more. That'd be cool.
A
Hold on. First of all, maybe. Maybe let them have their things over there. You know, if they vote. If they voted they want to do it, that's on them.
B
Listen, I'm just saying, if the border's open one.
A
So yours is the moose. So the first perk you can think of.
B
Moose is the.
A
Hold on. First perk you can think of is the exchange of moose.
B
No exchange. We're just going to take the moose. Not take.
A
No, no, no.
B
I don't want to take the moose. I want the Moose to know that they have more places.
A
I don't.
B
They can walk down.
A
First of all, unless I'm mistaken, I believe the northern part of the United States also has moose.
B
Yeah, they do. I've seen one.
A
Okay.
B
In Colorado. But I'm saying, like, we should have more. Not that we should, but I would like more.
A
So you think instead of like doing our best to protect the ones that we have and maybe encourage them to breed and create more here, you want to just full on take.
B
How do you want purge a moose to breed?
A
Saying that Canadian moose are better than American moose?
B
Saying if there was a war, we'd.
A
Probably lose that really big a moose war? Yeah, bro.
B
They have way more me than us.
A
Meese. I don't think. I think you're wrong there.
B
Goose, geese, Moose, Meese, Mouse. It's moose.
A
Just moose, I believe.
B
Yeah.
A
More moose is singular and plural.
B
Like fish.
A
No. Yeah. No, cuz fish. When there's more than one, there's fishes.
B
Wrong. It's a school of fish.
A
Yeah.
B
Which is one of my biggest fears, honestly, being in the water and a school of fish just kind of like swims through you. I'd flip.
A
Yeah.
B
Although I would enjoy. You ever see when fish and they.
A
Whip and they're like. Like Voldemort Dumbledore. I don't know.
B
You're talking about. I'm talking about being in the water and there's like a tornado of fish and they're like swimming around you. But. But you could see the.
A
What?
B
Like the, the surface of the water and it's like, oh, I'm surrounded by a fish. I would love to be in that.
A
Nah, that I would really like. I like when like they'll like swim really fast in like a school and then they'll like kind of like make a quick. Yeah, they turn really fast like, like Dumbledore when he's doing the. You know, and they're just like, yeah, yeah, you know. You know.
B
I do.
A
Fish are really cool. Back to what I was saying about the whole Canada back is like.
B
Well, I don't know how far back we're going at this point. Canada's becoming a state.
A
Yeah. Well, yeah, but like, they should figure that out.
B
Their prime minister stepped down. Now's the time, I guess.
A
Did you see? Do they have Elon Musk's response to Justin Trudeau?
B
I fucking hate that guy so much. I fucking hate Elon Musk.
A
Dude.
B
He's just annoying.
A
Girl, you're not in charge.
B
Yeah, it's like, bro, why are you Trying to talking meme. Shut the fuck up.
A
I think that's a thing. Because, listen, we're not gonna parse through, you know, the dealings of Elon Musk, but he's dweeb. The fact that he just, like, fully talks on the Internet in the form of meme. Oh, that is a red flag.
B
It drives me crazy.
A
Like, the worst person in the world does that. You know what I mean? Like, everyone knows someone that only responds on like, Facebook with like a million a minion gif. You know? You know? You know what?
B
I fucking hate when people respond with stickers. You ever see those stickers that like, kind of move? Oh, I don't even know how to. How to even describe.
A
Are you just referencing a med. Doesn't Ahmed do that?
B
No. Well, you're thinking of the. The ones that, like, look like you. Whatever.
A
Okay.
B
Bitmoji.
A
Yeah. Which.
B
That is a cool Pokemon name. Bitmoji.
A
Absolutely not. I can name literally 100 cooler Pokemon names than Bitmoji.
B
Well, I'm just saying, like a one that doesn't exist yet.
A
No.
B
Come up with a Pokemon name.
A
Go Scissor Shark.
B
Yeah, see? I mean, you see what I'm. You see what's happening? Scissor Shart. This kid watches Digimon every single morning and he can't come up with a name better than Scissor Shark. Crazy Scissor Shark.
A
Bitmoji sucked.
B
Yeah. Scissor Shard is worse. And we have ads. Our first sponsor.
A
New sponsor alert.
B
How you doing? This is Omaha Steaks. Okay? Omaha Steaks. They offer unrivaled variety to spice up your menus. Your menu with handcrafted steaks, premium pork and chicken, world class seafood, whatever you want, okay? These are top of the line here. Every bite is backed by their 100% guarantee. I didn't even know that steaks could have a guarantee, but Omaha Steaks has it. And now's the perfect time to shop during the Omaha Steak Big Yum event@omahasteaks.com. i would have called it something different. Big Yum event that needs work. But it's totally fine. Omaha Steaks, they got the greatest steaks in the world, okay? Plus you can get an extra $20 off with the promo code basementyard at checkout. Okay? So like I said, all their steaks are great. They're grass fed grain finished beef has more marbling and exceptional, exceptional flavor. And it's a choice of steakhouses and professional chefs around the world. So if you want to get yourself some nice steaks, I already know that Frank's gonna abuse this. But if you want to get an extra 20 off, you can go to Omaha Steaks. Use the code baseman yard at checkout. And again, you'll get that 20 extra 20 off. Omaha steaks, baby. Man, I mean, I gotta do this. I don't make enough steak at home. This is what I'm gonna do here. But it's also because I don't like going to the store and getting a cut of steak. You got to order it from a really nice, you know, company that really knows what they're doing. And Omaha Steaks is one of those people, okay? They're America's original butcher since 1917. Okay? My grandma wasn't even alive back then. She hasn't been alive for years. But that's besides the point. Omaha steaks.com use the promo code. Base me out at checkout to get that extra $20 off. All right, you're welcome, folks. We also have skims. Frank Big, big on the skims. Also, I'm big on the skims as well. And I will say this. I use the promo code to get my secret Santa skims this year because they said they needed underwear. So I was like, boom. You don't even know this, but skims, they make men's, okay? And that's why we're excited when they're. When you find out that skims starts making men's. Because you see Kim Kardashian, you see whoever out there, and they have the women's skim stuff, and you're like, that looks really comfortable. I wish I had something like that to put on my body. Here we go. Okay? Skims for men. And we've tried on the underwear, and it's amazing. It makes you look good. And that's as much as I'll say. But it also feels very nice on your body. Okay. And it's not too constricting. I'm a little worried about that. Sometimes with underwear, I'm like this. Just like it's squeezing me. And I don't really like that. It has to be the perfect balance of, like, we're holding everything in place. We're breathable, but we're not hurting you. You know what I mean? And skims does that perfectly. So you can shop skims Men and more@skims.com and Skims New York flagship on Fifth Avenue. Let them know we sent you. Okay? After you place an order, select podcast on the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. All right, so go to skims.com and you know, if you buy something, let them know that the Basement Yard boys sent you there. Okay? You're welcome.
A
Yeah, that's really nice. And while you're sitting in your skims and you got a good old fashioned Omaha steak right in front of you, why don't you do yourself a favor. Go to www.thepatreon.com the Basement Yard I almost messed it up, but I didn't. Why? Because I rebounded, baby. Just like Pippin. Was he, though Rodman, who was the rebounder? Clearly not me. Go to patreon.com the Basement Yard thank you, guys. We actually did it. We got to over 33,000 patrons. We are so appreciative, so thankful, so grateful. And we are using all of that to gear up for a really fun, exciting 2025. We have so much that we're trying to do and really thanks to, in part, not only the love and support that you all give us, but the Patreon. So go to patreon.com the basement I do sign up for that first tier. You get exclusive these weekly episodes every single week before. So you get it a week before they go live for Everybody Else on YouTube or any other platform. And then what you could do is you can go for that second tier and you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So you can start and end your week with the Basement Yard. So thank you guys again. We really appreciate it. We love you. We're really excited for this year. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basementyard.
B
Yes. Also, we have to talk about this, but I'm going to Paris and Switzerland next week, so I.
A
Are you excited?
B
I'm very excited.
A
Bali.
B
I've never been there.
A
How do they talk in Switzerland?
B
No, I think they speak French.
A
I think they're Dutch over there, I think.
B
I'm pretty sure they're mostly French or a Swiss. A language, I don't think. I think it's like a mix of languages. I think it's like German and French.
A
Play up that you're a dumb American.
B
Play up. Frank, this show.
A
Yeah.
B
Watch it for five minutes, you'll know. But I, I wanted to get. Nice ski jacket.
A
Oh, that's right. You're skiing out there.
B
Going to go ski.
A
Worried that you're gonna like fall and get hurt.
B
So the last three times that I've went skiing, I haven't fell at all. I don't really. I'm due. I don't.
A
Someone dropped Fucking change up.
B
It sounded like hard macaroni just got spilled.
A
We had it with change.
B
Just watch your smile fade away we.
A
Had it with change. I know you had to try to one up me with hard macaroni.
B
I don't even know what that means. Yeah, but. So I went to this store. It's a French store. It's a brand that makes Fusalp. I don't know how to pronounce it.
A
What is that?
B
It's like.
A
Was that. What. What is going on? What is it called? Fusalp.
B
Something like that.
A
Oh, is this like a. Or is this like a clothing brand?
B
It's a brand they make like ski. Okay, how to pronounce.
A
He's looking at. Yeah, Dad, I put. Oh, is there like the little dots over the letters and stuff like that? Is there a. Is there a. A fjord in there somewhere or am I completely off on the country?
B
Fjord.
A
F. The J that has the two dots on top, I think it's called. They're umlauts.
B
That sounds German.
A
Wrong. I'm also choking this mic down. Do you see this?
B
I don't know how to pronounce it. We're done. Yeah, but regardless, I went there and there was no one else in the store. Right. It was just me and the two sales associates. And they double teamed me, basically after.
A
Getting rammed by the goat earlier. Now you're getting double teamed by the French?
B
Well, these were. These were months apart.
A
I got.
B
I got a break in between. But then I walked into.
A
How to get you.
B
I had to heal up.
A
You had to heal.
B
But I went into this place immediately and I. Dude. What was the guy wearing? It was a guy and a girl. But what was the guy wearing?
A
Beret.
B
No, so not that French. What was he wearing as a shirt?
A
A jacket, a sweater vest?
B
No, he was wearing a black turtleneck.
A
Okay, that's pretty. That's exactly what I would expect.
B
And he's very like this. You know what I mean?
A
Oh, okay.
B
Like, like, just like.
A
Did he look like he belonged, like, belonged at like an art exhibit?
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Did he? Please tell me he had like a mustache.
B
You know what? He. I don't think he. But he don't.
A
He looks like.
B
You ever see in Italian restaurants on the. This is very niche, but Italian restaurants, like on the art on the wall, when they draw waiters and they have very like triangular thin legs.
A
It's like. It's like the shoulders and they come down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Exactly like that. This guy.
A
Okay.
B
And I understood. Understood.
A
No, you Didn't. But you understood.
B
Stirred about, like, 30% of what he was saying. But, you know, I got through.
A
Oh. He was like, French franchise. Really?
B
Yeah. And the woman there was, I believe, American. But he was mostly helping me. And not cheap, I'll say that.
A
Okay. Figured. Yeah. You're not going. You're not getting out of bed for anything that's not going to cost a car payment. I know, Joey.
B
Okay, the only reason why I went to the store, because I wanted. I wanted to get a good one. And I was, like, looking on Amazon.
A
Where was the store?
B
Madison, in Manhattan.
A
Oh, okay. All right.
B
Madison, Wisconsin.
A
You just said Madison Avenue.
B
I mean, so I went. And I. I go. And I'm like, oh, I'm just, like, looking for a jacket. And the guy's like, oh, you'll have a ski trip. And I was like, I can't do the.
A
You can't do it at all?
B
No, you do have a ski trip. That's good. Yeah.
A
Well, I lost it at the end and.
B
And I was like, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm going to Switzerland. And then he was like, oh, he was, like, horny, by that, right?
A
Well, I mean, it.
B
He was horny.
A
Okay. All right, go ahead.
B
Yeah, I think that he was horny. And then I saw, like, a couple of jackets that I'm like, oh, I really like this one. It was like, this red jacket. So I have it on. Right? And I was like, yeah, I think this one. Like, I'll take this one. And he's like, all right, cool.
A
Like, did it have, like, the suspenders on the inside that ski jackets have?
B
No, it didn't have that. Well, I bought it because I was like, I can wear this. Also, like, there were a couple other colors. Like, there was, like, a crazy green one that I was like, all right, if I buy this, though, I'm never gonna wear, like, this bright green jacket.
A
I would. You know me.
B
Right?
A
Okay.
B
And. And as I'm handing him. Well, first I have the jacket on and I'm getting, like, kind of bullied into getting something else. Go ahead.
A
You, like, yelled at me for not telling an abridged version of watching Digimon. And you're talking. You're walking me through trying on a jacket.
B
Right, Right. No, I tried on the jacket.
A
Yeah.
B
That's the extent of that.
A
Okay.
B
And now I'm being bullied into buying other shit, though, and I'm scared.
A
Oh, they did the classic sales associate thing where it was, like, they were good. You know, it would go great. With that? Yes. A new, like, Lamborghini.
B
Do you have a mid layer or. I don't know what that is.
A
It's the layer in the mid.
B
It's the middle layer. I figured that. But I don't know what it looks like. And I was like, what is that? And he's like, oh, you gotta. You know, we have.
A
We have these.
B
We have these in this color. I was like. So I was like, oh, this looks nice. And I get it. And this is when I knew I was in trouble because I already said yes to the jacket. I handed them the jacket.
A
You didn't even see the price of the jacket.
B
I didn't.
A
Okay, here's the problem.
B
And I. I grabbed the mid layer and it's just like. It's nice. It's like a quarter zip. And I'm like, cool. And I. And I'm like, oh, this is cool. I'll try it on. And then I tried it on. It looked good. So I was like, all right, cool. As I take it off and I'm giving back to the guy. I saw it. It said 280.
A
I was like, for the mid layer?
B
Yep.
A
Okay.
B
And I was like, oh.
A
Once it went, you knew you were locked.
B
I was like, this isn't the place. If there was more people in the store, then I could be like, all right, bro. Maybe not the mid layer. How much was the jacket?
A
Well, at the mid layer was 200. 285.
B
It was 280 with tax. But now we're jacking up three.
A
Now we're going to three. I'm saying the jacket's at least a grand. Yeah, it was.
B
Yeah, I think it was like 1600.
A
Holy. I'm letting you know right now.
B
I was.
A
If I didn't know you, I would fucking rob you blind.
B
Yo, the salesman can get me. I'm not good.
A
You know what, though? I get bullied by sales associates, too, because I'm bad. Because in my head, I automatically think, even if I know none of the inner workings of whatever establishment I'm in, I convince myself, like, if I don't buy from this person, they're not gonna get commission, and then they're not going to feed their families.
B
I'm not even thinking about commission or.
A
Like, even, like, there were stores I've been to where I go to the front, because there are some stores that'll be like, oh, tell them that Michael helped you out. Or tell him that Susie helped you out. Then there are other stores I'll go to. I'll be like, oh, my God. I don't remember who helped me. It's. And I'm sitting there waiting to check out, like, looking for the person. And then it's like that. Because I feel bad. But, yeah, I get bullied by sales associates too.
B
Well, I just felt like I was like, I had nowhere to go.
A
There was two of them.
B
They're both saying like, oh, it looks so good. You look great. You need this. Do you need any socks? And I was like, bro, I just saw 280. The socks are probably 80. I'm not go. I'm not paying $80 for a pair of socks.
A
I'll be honest with you, though. You are already. You're already almost 2,000 in the hole. You might as well have commit.
B
They should.
A
But fuck them. They should have fucking thrown some free socks in there for you.
B
They gave me a free bag.
A
That doesn't help you. I love when companies do that. They're gonna be like, you know what, bro? There's a company, a free bag.
B
Where am I going to wear it.
A
On the way out instead? This is so funny that you brought this up, because this just happened to me the other day. There's a company that I was looking at that sells watches, and it was like, if you spend if your order total before taxes over this amount, you get a free item. And I was like, oh, cool. Like, what could the free item be? Could it be like, some people will do like a. You know, something to do with the item? Yeah, you know, like shoes. It'll be like, we'll throw in a free shoe cleaning kit, you know, or we'll throw in. Bro. It was like, if you spend over $400 or whatever it was, you get a free Bluetooth speaker. And it's like, why the.
B
I thought it was gonna be like hand sanitizer, but, like, I mean, the same. I know.
A
So unrelated to it. Same thing with you. Bag. A bag Bag, bro.
B
Bag.
A
But like, bag bags. But like a bag. Or like a bag I haven't even.
B
Taken out of the other bag that they gave.
A
So you. They put a bag in a bag. It's probably like a bag like that, like a reusable shopping bag.
B
I figured it would be like a tote or something.
A
They won't. They wouldn't give away a tote for free because their totes are probably like six grand.
B
No, no. I don't know. But. But they even said it might be itemized. So if you see that, just know that it's free and blah, blah, blah.
A
And I was like, at that point.
B
I was like, you've already taken me for a ride. Basically $2,000.
A
You got rammed by the goat and then, then you got double teamed by the sales associate that were riding you all the way to the bank.
B
Yeah, Ram rammed, ridden and robbed. They got me, bro. And I was scared. I was like, I need to get out of here, bro. At least they did. The woman did open the door for me on the way out.
A
I would hope so. That was like. I went and bought. I went and bought, what's it called, jewelry for Becca and the girls. And when we were in la, I went and bought jewelry for Becca and the girls. And some of they were like, do you want a bottle of sparkling water? And I thought to myself, like, no, I don't wanna. But then I thought, like, that's the least they could fucking do for me is give me a single bottle of sparkling water that would like.
B
How about a huge bottle of sparkling Prosecco?
A
Yeah, how about a fucking lifetime supply.
B
So I can have liquid courage enough to spend this money? Yeah, that'd be nice.
A
Well, there are places that will do that. Like, they'll be. I remember when I went and, you know, for Radio City, I bought myself a watch. And in there, like, there was someone there that was like, popping champagne with one of the, like, sales associates there. And like, they do that shit, dude.
B
That's never happened to me.
A
Yeah, it should have.
B
I've never been in a store where they're like, oh, you're buying something expensive. Let's sit down and have champagne.
A
They've offered it to me, but I've kindly declined.
B
But, like, I'm taking, I'm taking. I'll be like, yo, you guys have silverware so I could leave it to.
A
Well, I. I have to drive a lot of the places I go. Like, you live close enough to stuff that you can just hop on a train or an Uber.
B
But like, it's just the principle of like, pour it, I won't drink it.
A
But you've wasted it. Fuck you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's always like a nice bottle too. They're not doing like, you know, like a bottle of cooks.
B
And like, when I really think about it, I know that the salesmen aren't in charge of the prices and they're not the ones robbing me. But I choose not to think about that in the moment. And I blame them. I go, yo, you, Mr. Whoever, here's the thing.
A
Every problem in the world needs. Needs a face, needs someone to take the fall for it, you know? Yeah. Anytime I get angry about big billionaires, you, You, I scream at you.
B
Right, Right.
A
You know, and I understand. And how many times have you screamed at me for the immigration, like, problems in the world?
B
Zero, Frank.
A
Sure.
B
Jesus Christ.
A
Yeah. Never. But no, yeah. And they are say, bro, I'm serious when I say this. Working at Target, like, softened me up with retail workers.
B
Yeah. Oh, my God.
A
No matter the layer, like, the level of, like, you know, I'm not gonna sit here and give, like, you know, classes for retail workers. But, like, anytime you see someone that works retail, be the nicest person possible. Or even just customer service, because in that moment, they are probably thinking about the time they just got reamed out for something from some other piece of.
B
I got a text this morning, too.
A
From the people from, from what, Wait, what was the sales associate's name? French one?
B
Claudia.
A
Claudia.
B
Oh, no, that's the one who texted me.
A
Oh, I was thinking Claudia Gerard.
B
I don't remember the dude's name. It's like, oh, thanks for stopping in. Have fun on your trip. And I'm like, okay, this is some. I'll be honest with service.
A
I was gonna say, I'll be honest. I, I'm a sucker for stuff like that.
B
Yeah.
A
Where they, like, follow up, give it a week.
B
Did your jacket rip? You probably need a new one.
A
Yeah, but, you know, they, I will say my experience for, with, like, customer service has been mostly positive, but, like, there, there, there are people that, that don't get that. You see the woman that, like, fist fought a Chipotle, like, someone had a Chipotle. Do you see that shit?
B
It's such an insane sentence.
A
There was a woman.
B
What could possibly happen in a fast food restaurant that would cause you to fight an employee?
A
So when people are really into their food, it's insane. One of my favorite videos that I've ever seen. And I know you know, this video is like, someone. I, I, I, I don't remember what fast food chain it was. It might have been Popeyes, but they went to a Popeyes and there was a girl behind the counter. She's like, can I help you today? And the guy was just like, I heard that you gave your number to my boyfriend. And then she's like. And then the person's like, don't you ever do that? Get it? And then, like, all the workers come out behind, and she's like, I'm gonna tell you something right now. You come in here, you say, good morning. Yeah. And she's like, no one's giving your boyfriend number. And the person was just like, anita. And she's like, ho, ho, ho. You know, like, you've never seen that video. Damn. I'm not doing it any serve, like, any justice, but, like, damn, people get.
B
Can you imagine? You're gonna go in there, like, you hype yourself up to be like, yo, I'm gonna go scream at this. And you walk in there, and then the Popeyes Avengers come out, and you're like, yeah.
A
You're like, what am I gonna do?
B
You'd be like, I'm about to get up by. Not only is my boyfriend getting a number from a random girl, but I'm getting my ass whooped by her.
A
The Popeyes Avengers is the funniest way to think. They just, like, pop out. What the. That's the Avengers theme done by Alan Silvestri.
B
Cool. Is that in your little commando underpants? What is it called? Condo condom? Was it commando? What the is this?
A
I'm letting you lizard. I am letting you fall flat on your face.
B
It's commando. Crocodile commando.
A
Sure. No, it's not. Creature Commando.
B
Creatures.
A
That's in the dc. The Avengers is in Marvel. Although there's a little bit of crossover because the all the DC right now.
B
We do have sponsors for this episode. Would you have sponsors for this episode? You know, we do have a seatgeek. Seat is where you're gonna want to get all your tickets. Okay. Go download the app. It's number one rated ticketing app in the app store. Every time I'm at a, you know, a Ranger game or a Knicks game or anything like that, it's through SeatGeek. I'm buying tickets off of that website or their app, but I love their interface because it shows you, you know, what's a good ticket, what's a bad ticket. Okay. It goes from, like, dark red to dark green and everything in between there. So it just kind of like a little scale to let you know, this is a good price, this is a bad price. Stay away from this. I like that they have that. Okay, so whenever you need to buy tickets, I would download SeatGeek. And you can save some money. All right. There's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek. That is a lot, by the way. Our shows were on seatgeek. Saw that. That was kind of cool to see.
A
It was kind of.
B
After using Sea Geek for so many years, and then you go on tour and you're like, oh, we're on seatgeek. That's pretty Cool. But, yeah, anyway, you guys can save 10 off of any tickets with the promo code BASEMENT2025. Okay. But yeah, 10 off of your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. Okay? So go download the app that is 10 off any tickets with the promo code BASER basement2025. All right? So go enjoy that. And lastly, here. Oh, that's not it. I fucked up. I completely fucked up. I clicked out of the thing that I absolutely needed. Frank, talk about something, please.
A
I will talk about anything. So as I was saying before, dc, the cinematic universe and a lot of.
B
Oh, anything but that, though.
A
Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, I am really excited. You know, the spring is coming upon us, which means we are going to be getting new spring teas. Although the spring festival, which I don't want to wait T does that. Of course, baby. A lot of the most expensive and sought after green green teas are the first flush of green teas from the new spring season. But you need to have the right. You need to know the right people.
B
Can you make a tea plant? This is.
A
Of course you can. Yeah, of course you can.
B
But why don't you do that?
A
You can, but it all depends on, like, they thrive better in certain environments. And like, if you're putting it in a just a giant pot, it might not yield the best results because as you know, that the terroir. Terroir. What do you call it?
B
Terra.
A
There it is. That's how I say it. But you know, it all depends on the environment around it. And you know, a lot of times the soil and the area that the tea plants are in are really going to produce a really good yield depending on what type.
B
Boy, I'm glad that's over with. We have.
A
One of a kind. One of a kind. This show, ladies and gentlemen. We couldn't fake it if we tried. Oh, my God.
B
By the way, if I didn't stop you, that would have been 30 minutes.
A
Oh, 30.
B
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A
I mean, if you want to listen, babe, I have said we have spoken about this a lot lately because of the support and love that we've gotten from so many incredible people. We. We have a new studio that we're getting ready to go into. The lights are being put in, the sets are being built. But I have asked you several times and it's still not gotten a straight answer. What? What? What the budget is for the T station that I will build. Right.
B
What's what? What? The station. When you say station.
A
Electric kettle. Some tea equipment, some cups.
B
Equipment?
A
Yeah, cups.
B
What's equipment? Cups. Cup.
A
But like not cups. Like teacups. Teacups. Teacups. Pitcher, something to brew in and then an assortment of teas.
B
Let me ask you something.
A
No, you're the tea guy. Yes, I am one of them. There's a lot of.
B
You got a couple bucks in your pocket. You can't buy some teacups.
A
Oh, of course I have. I have a beautiful collection of teacups.
B
So then donate.
A
I have a beautiful collection of teacups that I use. Quite a. But listen, I'm not saying, you know, write it off as a business expense for the new studio.
B
You do that.
A
I'm not saying. First of all, tea as a hobby is a not expensive hobby. You can get into some ridiculously expensive stuff, but like, you can get good teacups for not that much.
B
Frank, I just lost my whole net worth on a ski jacket. I can't afford to buy teacups right now.
A
What if I have a French man come in here and basically.
B
Please don't do that.
A
Sales associate.
B
The French. Well, upsell me everything and I'll buy it.
A
Well. Oh, man. Really afraid of being Paris, by the way. Paris? Yeah, Paris, brother. You're going to Switzerland, which you and I know one of your hobbies and appreciations is the world of watches.
B
I really don't think there will be a watch store where I am. It's like a ski town.
A
Okay.
B
I can almost guarantee there might be.
A
That there's going to be something I'm not doing that. I can almost also guarantee that you're gonna get this fucking itch because you're in the land. Like, you're gonna feel. You're gonna, like, put your hand on the ground and feel it ticking away like a tourbillon or something like that.
B
No longer know what you mean. What are you talking about?
A
Switzerland is the land of watches.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
You know, you're gonna feel. You're gonna feel that the second hand move as you put your hand to the ground and you touch the floor. I'm gonna touch the walls out there, bitch.
B
Also, the Swiss franc is, like, better than the dollar, I believe. Leave.
A
Oh, so, like, the. The frank is like, I'd be getting.
B
I'd be getting rammed again. Rammed and robbed.
A
I mean, if you're going to Switzerland. Is. Are you. If you're gonna get rammed anywhere. Yeah, it's a. It's amongst the Swiss Alps.
B
But also, being in Paris is tough.
A
Poly.
B
Yeah.
A
If. Are you gonna. Please tell me. Listen, I know you. You never have. And you've never been stressed that you never have any desire to smoke cigarettes. Oh, Promise me that if you smoke out there, you put it on a long stick. Promise me. Like, it could be. You could smoke whatever.
B
I have made a joke that I would. The first time I ever, like, took a drag of a cigarette would be in a buddy off of a long stick.
A
You kind of have to. Sitting at a patisserie, you know, eating a croissant, you know, like, you might as well.
B
Right?
A
Well, why not?
B
Yeah.
A
You know, if I have, like, a.
B
Balcony that I find.
A
Les shoot. Are you gonna. You. A hundred percent. You have to post a picture with the. The Ratatouille song.
B
What's the song?
A
You. Wait, You've never seen Ratatouille?
B
I've seen Ratatouille.
A
Oh, incredible.
B
You know what I watched yesterday?
A
Why is it worse than Digimon?
B
Nothing is going to be worse than you watching Digimon, leaving your children and your wife in one room and Being like, gonna go get an episode of Digimon. It's. This is great, but I gotta go. Did you fall?
A
You know what's funny is I tweeted. You won't care for the tweet, but go on.
B
What was I saying?
A
You watched something yesterday. I'm.
B
I'm, like, sitting on the couch and I'm like, huh? Because I'm always trying to think about, like, what I'm gonna put on when I get in bed. Cloudy. What a Chance of Meatballs.
A
Great movie, dude.
B
One of the most underrated movies.
A
Not underrated, the first movie. The second one is not as good.
B
Didn't watch it.
A
Is incredible.
B
When movies are really good, they make a second one. I'm very like, yeah, I don't want to ruin it. But I didn't know about that movie at all. And then my mom had it on at her house one day, and I was like, this is a fucking really nice movie.
A
It's hysterical. I love, like, it is done so well also.
B
I haven't seen it in years. The scene where. I mean, this is probably. I don't know if it's a niche scene, but I don't know how well you know the movie, but there's a scene where he's like.
A
Like.
B
You know how, like, docs have, like, a ladder? So he's, like, under the ladder, like, under the dock. Like, just, like, looking out like this. And Anna Faris's character comes and sits at the end of the dock and, like, slams her feet down. They go in his eyeballs. Frank. I laughed audibly. I laughed audibly. My neighbors were probably complaining.
A
Yo, that's a really good movie.
B
It's a good movie. If you haven't seen Cloudy with Chance, Meatballs, go watch it.
A
Mr. T is in it. Mr. T is in it. A lot of random people are in it. Mr. T. Bruce Campbell, Bill Hader. Bill Hader. Andy Samberg.
B
Andy. Sam.
A
Yeah.
B
That's all I know.
A
Oh, now. Now I got. Who's.
B
Who's Bruce Campbell?
A
I believe he plays the mayor.
B
Who is that?
A
He was in Evil Dead. He's like, a frequent collaborator with Sam Raimi. He was in that show Burn Notice.
B
I don't know why I asked you questions. I don't know the famous person you're talking about.
A
You definitely know who this guy is?
B
I'm probably by face.
A
You definitely know. I'm pretty sure, yeah. Bruce Campbell was the mayor. This is Bruce Campbell. You know who this is?
B
Oh, is that the dad from Seventh Heaven?
A
Absolutely not. He is in prison, I believe, for fucking. Oh, yeah.
B
That guy's weird as fuck.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Wait, wasn't he a pastor on that.
A
Show Seventh Heaven is a very religious show, dude.
B
I don't remember it. I just remember the song.
A
There is. Oh, man, I wish I can give this person.
B
Wait, that guy's a dad somewhere.
A
I'm sure in a bunch. James. James Caan plays his. The main character's dad. Bill Hader's dad.
B
That's James Kahn.
A
Yeah. Andy Samberg. Mr. T. Neil Patrick Harris. Benjamin Brad.
B
Who the fuck is Neil Patrick Harris?
A
Al Roker. Lauren Graham, Will Forte.
B
Wait, who does NPH play?
A
Neil Flynn. NPH plays Steve.
B
He's the monkey.
A
I guess his has one line.
B
The whole movie.
A
Steve, basically. Yo. So the guys that made those move that first movie, at least Phil Lord and Chris Miller are. Those are the guys that did. Like, they were the main creative forces behind into the Spider verse, across the Spider verse and stuff like that. Those guys are incredible bangers. Absolutely incredible.
B
Can you imagine it rained food like that?
A
All right, I'm going to give you three different weather phenomenons, and you tell me what you want them to be for. Food.
B
All right.
A
And don't just think of the movie. Okay?
B
Okay.
A
Rain, snow, tornado.
B
Tornado.
A
What do you want to rain?
B
I would like it to rain.
A
I got a good one. I want it to rain Colossal king crab legs.
B
I was gonna think liquid.
A
I thought you were.
B
Ah, yeah, I wanted to rain. Well, it doesn't crab legs.
A
It doesn't rain liquid in that movie. Movie.
B
It's true.
A
It's cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
B
Right. What would it rain? That's a good one because they're kind of contained and when they hit the ground, you could still crack them open and they're like, clean.
A
Yeah.
B
You know what I mean?
A
Yeah.
B
Something with a shell. Something with a shell. That's a good answer.
A
Ooh, muscles.
B
Absolutely not. Okay, I mean, I like mussels, but, like, not like clams. We're getting cold.
A
Oh, I know. Mine.
B
What?
A
It needs to be a very specific brand. But sunflower seeds that. What are you, a bird? Seeds like that would make sense. They look like little water droplets.
B
You don't need it to rain that. You go to the store. It's fine.
A
I know, but you can also go to the store and get anything. You can get a $2,000 jacket, bitch. It's not raining those too soon.
B
Damn. I think I would have it rain.
A
Oh, do we say.
B
No, no, no, no, no. I was gonna say hot. Dogs, but. Oh, y'all. Prosciutto.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Imagine it's raining, dude. I could just stick my hand out. Out the window and just get a whole.
A
Or like, just. Just. But it needs to be good prosciutto. I'm not talking like, no, no.
B
Top of the line.
A
Or even, like, harmony Bettericle. Oh, I've never had it. I've never had it, but I'll take it. What?
B
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. How would you. Yeah.
A
All right. What about snow? The snow?
B
Ice cream. Ice cream.
A
Oh. Oh, really?
B
Absolutely.
A
That would stink after it melted, dude.
B
Yeah, but you got. You've got to put stuff in place. The government's going to create something to get it away.
A
Okay, so you put down some tarps or just bowls.
B
No, there's, like, trucks that come around and they clean it.
A
All right. Tornado.
B
Tornado in the movie was spaghetti and meatballs, which looked really nice.
A
It does look very appealing. Tornado.
B
Maybe like ginger ale.
A
Hold on, hold on. So you criticized me for it not raining a liquid, and then you want a tornado, Something that is famously not a liquid to be ginger ale. I didn't say typhoon, bitch. You want a typhoon of ginger ale. That makes sense.
B
Wait, there's always rain involved in tornado. Is there?
A
I don't. I've never actually. I have been in one, and there was rain.
B
Frank, you weren't in a tornado.
A
Yes, I was. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. There was a tornado that touched down. I'm telling you.
B
Hold on. Was it one of those that are, like, on a baseball field?
A
No, I was in my car, and my car was shifting. Where in fucking Jersey, dude, Get the.
B
Motherfuck out of here.
A
You don't need to believe it. It is the truth.
B
I was in a tornado. What do you think you're Helen Hunt? Relax, Bill Paxton, chill.
A
I wish. I wish. You're also forgetting Philip Seymour Hoffman or Glenn Powell.
B
Glenn Powell. Pow. That was all I. That's all. I mean.
A
All right, so tornado. You want ginger ale because you're an idiot. Snow. You want ice cream and rain. You want.
B
What do you want for snow?
A
Snow.
B
It's got to be cold.
A
Shrimp cocktail.
B
What? Frank, you're worried about the snow stinking.
A
Yeah, you're right. Shut up, bitch.
B
You know what was really good in that movie? The nacho pools.
A
That was cool. I don't. It isn't the first one where there's the. I've never had. And I don't care for, like, peanut brittle or a cashew brittle or something like that, but when it's like the. Like the spiky. Spiky.
B
Yeah.
A
That looks so cool.
B
Yeah.
A
I want to break it. I'll say this. If it got. You know how, like, when it gets cold outside, there'll be, like, running water and then it'll freeze over. So, like, the top is frozen, but underneath it's. It's hollow.
B
Yeah.
A
And you could step in it and break it like glass.
B
Love that.
A
If that was like, peanut brittle, I'd be so cool with that.
B
That'd be cool. But brownie brittle also. This makes me think you're an adult.
A
You don't need to have brownies.
B
That's an insane thing to say. You also think that peanut butter and jellies are for children, which is crazy.
A
They are absolutely for children.
B
But Digimon every morning is not for children. That's weird.
A
Not every morning. It's been three of the last five.
B
That's a lot. Okay. That's 60%.
A
Well, how else am I gonna watch the, you know, tie and the crew, you know, basically go from this summer camp, you know, and then have all their Digimon digivolve into champions, Digivolve into ultimates.
B
What's the. What's the best Digimon?
A
I mean, it really depends. I. I tweeted that.
B
Who's your fave.
A
You're gonna hate this tweet.
B
Oh, my God. This is.
A
I said. I tweeted that you were either a. A Greymon kid or a guru room on kid. And personally, I was a Greymon kid. Wargreymon dude.
B
Yeah.
A
But then also, you know, like, who's, like.
B
Who's like the, like, blue eyes, white dragon of Digimon?
A
I would say probably Greymon.
B
That's a. Oh, that's a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the mons.
A
You know Greymond. You know Greymon.
B
I don't know Greymon.
A
I do not, you know, Greymond dude. It's like the. When people think of, like, the Pikachu.
B
That is the ultimate.
A
Well, then you could get into, like, War Greymon or Greymon. You can get into, like. Then he merges with, like, metal guru Room on, like. That's a cool one.
B
Okay, that's. Now we're getting pretty cool. The other one was just, like, a fucking dinosaur look, like Cubone, man.
A
What was the name? Omnimon.
B
Amon Ross St. Brown.
A
Oh, man, there's so many. There's so many I forgot, you know, it's been a while. That's why I'm getting back into it.
B
It'S been a while. It's been fucking 13 hours, probably, Frank. The fuck do you mean it's been a while?
A
Since I was like super, super into it when I was a kid. I watched everything. I had the toys, you know.
B
Yu Gi oh Boys by Dragon.
A
I was explaining Yu Gi oh to Miles yesterday. I.
B
He doesn't like it.
A
He doesn't know it. I explained. I saw, we were in the car and I was just like, hey, do you and your, your buddies like talk at like lunch? Like what you guys got for Christmas or the holidays? He was like, no, we don't do that anymore because we're cool.
B
I was like, oh my God. Oh.
A
I was upset about that. And I was like, oh, what do you do at lunch? He's like, we just kind of just talk. I was like, about what? He goes, it doesn't really, like nothing. I was like, wow, we used to do it. He didn't ask, but I told him what we did.
B
Yeah.
A
I was like, we'd have Pokemon battles or, you know, we'd trade Pokemon with the link cable. I was like, or we would play Yu Gi oh. And he's like, what's that?
B
Oh, yo, that the fucking game Boy. Yu Gi oh.
A
I used to abuse it. I. And he was like, dark magician, dude.
B
I wanted to be dark magician when I was younger.
A
I know because you were weird. But like, I was explaining to him. I was just like, dude, I had like, you know, like the Joey Pegasus Kaiba Yugi starter packs and I made like my own conglomerate of a fucking deck. And he was just like, none of this makes any sense. And I was just like, toon dragon. Blue eyes, White dragon, Toon dragon.
B
Wow.
A
What was it? Ultimate? What was the three headed ultimate dragon? What was that one? Oh, blue eyes. Ultimate blue eyes.
B
I don't remember. Gate guardian.
A
Gate guardian. Pot of greed.
B
Pot of greed.
A
You know, there was one that I remember liking a lot and it was a bro.
B
Speaking of pot of greed, I'm sorry, but I saw a clip on Tik Tok of that girl Drew and she said that someone left a comment on one of her videos and said that she looked like the pot of green.
A
I saw that too. Yeah. It was unbelievable. Dude. There was a card when we were kids. What was it called? The Water Emotics. I remember liking it.
B
What the hell is that?
A
It was just like a girl with water.
B
Oh, you would like that. You were like, oh, this is my girlfriend. She's a card.
A
Who am I dating? The water modic? No, but then you remember Obelisk the Destroyer?
B
I. Oh, yes.
A
Yeah, dude. Damn.
B
Oh, I want to know.
A
Obelisk the Tormentor. Excuse me?
B
I mean, you could have said anything and I would have agreed.
A
Obelisk the Tormentor had that. Then there was, like, the Golden Wing of Raw or some.
B
I love how you're, like, all kind of like this.
A
And you're the wing dragon, and then Slifer the sky dragon. What the. So sick.
B
I'm gonna name my son that Slifer.
A
That's crazy. You f. Freak.
B
Damn. Shout out to Yu Gi oh.
A
Damn. Yeah. We need to bring back Yu Gi oh. We've run that.
B
Japan.
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
B
It's always Japan.
A
We always Japan. We have brought back so much Hawaiian shirts.
B
We haven't brought back Yu Gi oh.
A
Red Lobster.
B
We should both get the Game Boys and play Yu Gi oh against each other.
A
I will absolutely do it. I will. Because I have a Game Boy. I just need the game. Don't fuck around here, Joey.
B
No, what's the other one? That's like, sideways Game Boy Advance. That's the one. That's what I had it on.
A
Get the Game Boy SP with the backlight.
B
Frank is. His boner is bursting through his jeans right now. It ripped the zippers. I mentioned Game Boy SP with the backlight.
A
Not often do we get to talk about my hobbies on this show.
B
You know what I had, you know, when Game Boys didn't have a backlight? So you buy the extender. It was like a book light.
A
I had this one that was like a. It was like steroids because it had, like, a thing that went on the front for the buttons. And then it had a screen that popped out and it was a. A magnifier. And then it had speakers on the side. Yeah, like that.
B
Way too much.
A
It was. It was for. It was overcompensating. You know what I'm talking about?
B
I am trying to understand. Damn, dude, Matt has some game boards. Every, like, six months, I always go on ebay and I'm like, I need to get a fucking Game Boy color.
A
Don't even do it. I know a place.
B
Your basement. Like, I mean, Yeah, I know they're there, Frank. I know a place. It's close.
A
No, there's a. There's actually a really good in Manhattan gaming spot that's a little overpriced, but you can get some stuff there. I mean, but ever since Logan Paul fucked it up for the rest of us, all this stuff is way overpriced.
B
Listen, man, I Don't give a fuck if the price if the guy's French. All right, I'll take it.
A
That's right. That's right.
B
That's called full circle for.
A
No, it isn't. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. No, no. We have to leave here on him being an absolute marble mouth loser. Thank you guys for coming and hanging out. I appreciate it. Follow us at the basement on all forms of social media. Go check out Santa Gato Studios. That video that we posted. The. The cooking competition was a lot of fun.
B
Yeah.
A
And check out Patreon. Get ready for the new studio. All this stuff that's fun and exciting. Yeah.
B
Just to let you guys know, like, you probably won't see an episode in the new studio because I am gonna be gone for a bit. So we have to, like, double up on episodes. So they could still go out while I'm on vacation, but the second I get back, which is the end of January, why am I like this?
A
I don't know.
B
You're a loser. Then we're gonna start recording there. It's gonna look really cool. And that video that we. That you see on Santa Garo Studios, that's what we're gonna try doing moving forward. Right. That type of quality in with the little fun games that we do do. We want it to all look really good. So look forward to that. And that is all. See you guys next time.
A
Bye.
Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard – Episode #486: "The French Made Me But It"
Host: Santagato Studios (Joe Santagato)
Release Date: January 20, 2025
Episode Title: The French Made Me But It
The Basement Yard Episode #486, titled "The French Made Me But It," takes listeners on a humorous and eclectic journey through a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes and pop culture to quirky observations and lively banter between the hosts. Here's a detailed breakdown of the episode's key discussions and highlights.
The episode kicks off with a lively exchange about unconventional fashion choices. Host A humorously admits to favoring granny panties for their comfort, despite criticisms about their appearance.
Notable Quote:
This light-hearted conversation delves into self-image and the playful teasing between the hosts about each other's appearances.
The hosts transition into a discussion about Quasimodo from "Notre Dame," exploring misconceptions about his homelessness and French origins. This segues into a critique of the French language's perceived slipperiness and complexity.
Notable Quotes:
They humorously break down words like "spaghetto," highlighting the intricacies of English plurals and singular forms.
The conversation shifts to the hosts' viewing habits, particularly discussing "Creature Commandos," an animated show on Max, and "Digimon Adventure." They debate the suitability of these shows for different age groups and share humorous takes on the content's intensity.
Notable Quote:
They also touch upon family viewing dynamics, mentioning co-watching with children and the blend of classic and modern animated series.
A fascinating segment where Host B describes an intriguing piece of graffiti: "pierced titties taste like house keys." This sparks a deeper conversation about the art form and its impact.
Notable Quote:
The discussion evolves into the significance of creative expressions in urban settings and the personal reactions they evoke.
The hosts engage in a humorous debate about attempting to break the world record for the longest spaghetto. They explore linguistic nuances and the feasibility of such a challenge.
Notable Quote:
Their playful ambition leads to a discussion about creating an "own world record" through Santa Gato Studios, emphasizing the fun in setting personal milestones.
A heartfelt and humorous recounting of experiences at alpaca farms and encounters with goats. The hosts share stories of animal behavior, bonding moments, and the unpredictability of interacting with livestock.
Notable Quote:
They highlight the quirks of animal personalities, such as goats ramming legs and engaging in playful antics, adding a layer of relatability and laughter.
Host B narrates a shopping trip to a French ski store, detailing the overwhelming attempts by sales associates to upsell products. The discussion delves into the pressures of consumerism, financial pitfalls, and the stress of high-ticket purchases.
Notable Quote:
They explore the psychological aspects of shopping, including the fear of missing out and the guilt associated with not supporting sales personnel's commissions.
The hosts reminisce about childhood games like "Yu-Gi-Oh" and "Digimon," sharing favorite characters and memorable moments. The segment is filled with nostalgic references, highlighting the enduring impact of these franchises on their lives.
Notable Quote:
This nostalgic trip emphasizes the bond over shared interests and the lasting influence of early gaming experiences.
As the episode winds down, the hosts discuss upcoming plans, including one host preparing for a trip to Paris and Switzerland. They also touch upon technical aspects of their podcast studio enhancements, thanking their Patreon supporters and hinting at exciting developments for 2025.
Notable Quote:
They wrap up with a blend of humor and anticipation, leaving listeners eager for future episodes and studio improvements.
Humorous Banter: The episode is characterized by witty exchanges and playful teasing, making it engaging and entertaining.
Diverse Topics: From fashion to literature, media consumption, creative expressions, personal anecdotes, and nostalgic gaming memories, the hosts cover a broad spectrum of subjects.
Relatable Stories: Personal experiences with shopping mishaps and animal encounters add depth and relatability to the conversation.
Future Engagements: Promotions for Patreon and upcoming studio features highlight the hosts' commitment to enhancing listener experience.
The Basement Yard Episode #486 successfully blends humor, personal stories, and diverse topics, creating an enjoyable and relatable listen for both long-time fans and newcomers.