#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard Episode #496 - We Survived A Sandstorm

Host: Santagato Studios
Guest: Frank Alvarez
Release Date: March 31, 2025

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1. Introduction

In Episode #496 of The Basement Yard, host Joe Santagato is joined by longtime friend Frank Alvarez. The episode delves into their adventurous trip to Palm Springs, which was unexpectedly marred by severe turbulence and a massive sandstorm. Amidst the chaos, the duo shares personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and insightful reflections on various topics ranging from pet behaviors to eclectic hobbies.

2. Surviving the Sandstorm: Journey to Palm Springs

Flight Turbulence The episode kicks off with Joe and Frank recounting their flight experience to Palm Springs. As they descended, unexpected turbulence struck, turning their calm journey into a nerve-wracking ordeal.

• Joe: “We were descending into Palm Springs and the captain's like, we're gonna have the flight attendant sit down, cuz it's gonna get a little choppy.” [20:04]
• Frank: “Without a doubt the worst [turbulence] I've been in.” [20:30]

Despite Frank’s aversion to flying, he remained composed, finding solace in watching Breaking Bad during the flight. Joe, on the other hand, grappled with anxiety, constantly checking on Frank's state.

Driving Through the Sandstorm Upon landing, the challenge was far from over. The drive from the airport was engulfed by a relentless sandstorm with winds reaching up to 40 mph, making visibility nearly zero.

• Frank: “We were in the middle of the sandstorm. It's like, we're at Oz.” [27:02]
• Joe: “We can't see anything out the front of the windshield.” [26:45]

They navigated through whipping sands and intense winds, highlighting the unpredictability and severity of desert weather. The Uber driver, seemingly experienced, struggled to maintain control, adding to their tension.

Challenges Faced

• Erosion and Wildlife: The sandstorm brought not only abrasive sands but also unwelcome wildlife encounters, including rattlesnakes and coyotes.

  • Frank: “We were at Oz. He goes, just be careful out there.” [27:50]

• Physical Exhaustion: The exhaustive journey culminated in their arrival at the Airbnb, where they were greeted with a generous charcuterie board, offering a much-needed respite after their ordeal.

  • Joe: “That was the first time I've had a charcuterie board at midnight.” [28:20]

3. Anecdotes on Pets and Animal Behavior

Throughout the episode, Joe and Frank intertwine their survival story with light-hearted discussions about pets, particularly cats and dogs.

• Frank: “Every time I go, there's this guy that's just shoveling meat...” [00:25]
• Joe: “Dogs bring ducks, you never seen those? Duck hunt dog.” [03:45]

They compare the predatory instincts of cats to the more playful nature of dogs, emphasizing the different ways each animal expresses affection.

Giraffes and Kinky Behaviors A humorous segment unfolds as they explore the mating behaviors of giraffes, sparking a conversation on animal kinks.

• Joe: “Imagine being horny and being like, give me your piss.” [37:34]
• Frank: “Giraffes are kinky.” [38:13]

Their banter sheds light on the often bizarre and fascinating aspects of the animal kingdom, blending humor with education.

4. Personal Stories: Frank's Surgery Experience

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Frank sharing his harrowing experience with knee surgery during high school football.

Pre-Surgery Anesthetic Choices Frank opted for an unconventional choice by requesting to be awake during his surgery, influenced by the offer from the medical team.

• Frank: “Do you want to wake up during your surgery? ... I'll do it.” [47:55]
• Joe: “That's kind of fire.” [47:52]

Post-Surgery Complications Waking up mid-surgery led to confusion and panic as Frank felt immense pressure and struggled to move his legs, only to be sedated again to stabilize his condition.

• Frank: “I was punching my bladder to pee.” [45:30]
• Joe: “You might have to discuss with anesthesiologist.” [52:27]

Recovery and Long-Term Impact Frank detailed the extensive damage to his knee ligaments and the subsequent reconstruction using his own hamstring, emphasizing the physical and emotional toll of the procedure.

• Frank: “They took some ligaments from my hamstring and use that to reconstruct my own.” [51:27]
• Joe: “Damn, dude.” [49:43]

5. Light-Hearted Banter: Eclectic Pet Names and Food Preferences

Between intense discussions, Joe and Frank engage in playful debates over pet naming conventions and favorite foods, showcasing their camaraderie and diverse interests.

Pet Naming Conventions Frank criticizes the trend of giving pets human names, advocating for more playful and unique names inspired by pop culture, specifically X-Men characters.

• Frank: “If I get an animal, I'm not naming him like Francis or like Robert or it's fucking like Mark.” [04:27]
• Joe: “Good job, comedy.” [07:47]

Food Preferences and Survival Challenges The trio explores hypothetical scenarios where they must survive on a single type of food, blending humor with practical considerations of diet and health.

• Joe: “I would get a year into this and blow my head off.” [63:13]
• Frank: “I'll do it. Because she's doing enough.” [42:08]

Their discussions highlight the importance of dietary diversity and the challenges of restricting oneself to a single food source for survival.

6. Conclusion

Episode #496 of The Basement Yard offers a blend of adventure, personal storytelling, and humorous discussions. Joe and Frank's shared experience of surviving a sandstorm serves as a backdrop for deeper conversations about life, survival, and the quirks of human and animal behavior. Their candid exchanges and relatable banter make the episode both entertaining and insightful for listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Joe Santagato: “We survived a sandstorm, but now we're stuck with these bull balls on your shirt.” [07:33]
• Frank Alvarez: “Giraffes are kinky. Monkeys are doing poop play.” [44:43]
• Joe Santagato: “If I wore that shirt, it would be over.” [05:52]
• Frank Alvarez: “The animal Kingdom is just bananas sometimes.” [44:39]

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Follow & Support:

Stay connected with The Basement Yard for more engaging episodes and behind-the-scenes content:

• Patreon: patreon.com/thebasementyard
• Social Media:
  • Frank Alvarez: @FrankAlvarez885
  • Joe Santagato: @JoeSantagato
  • TikTok & Instagram: @TheBasementYard

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Note: This summary is based on the provided transcript and podcast information. All timestamps correspond to the moments in the transcript where the notable quotes and topics are discussed.

Transcript

[Joe Sanigato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Explain your shirt. Explain the shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. Oh, it's. It's for my butcher.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's for your butcher?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like. It's a bircher.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's for your bircher.

[Frank Alvarez]

Irning. Joey couldn't the other day say ironing for some reason?

[Joe Sanigato]

What did I say? Ironing.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said ironring.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ironing.

[Frank Alvarez]

We'll get to that in a little bit. It's from my butcher. They gave me this shirt. It was very kind.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, you went in and bought meat and he's like, here, take a shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Every time I go, there's this guy that's just shoveling meat, which is a crazy way to say it. Yeah. Pretty sure his name is Will. He's a cool dude, but he's. He's over by the deli, and I always walk over, bro, a good deli is so like, you need. You need a good deli.

[Joe Sanigato]

You need somewhere in your neighborhood where people know your name. So you walk through the door and.

[Frank Alvarez]

They'Re like, oh, look at the cash track day. Ah, the big time is here.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you.

[Frank Alvarez]

What do you want? What do you want? You know?

[Joe Sanigato]

Do cats drag things in?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, with the cat? Yeah, they. The cat drags a lot of stuff.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do they drag? Like. Like animals. Like mice, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

We used to fight. My cat used to kill mice and put them in my sister's shoes. Birds. Bats.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, we gotta, like, get rid of cats.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I loved it. I loved it. It was a cute sense of.

[Joe Sanigato]

You loved finding bats in your sneakers?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I. I didn't find them in my sneakers. They were mostly in my sister's stuff.

[Joe Sanigato]

This cat to prank your sister?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Well, it was, like, a sign of love. That's what cats do it. They do it as like, we love you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I brought you a bat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dogs do that shit too. Dogs don't do.

[Joe Sanigato]

They'll bring you a bat.

[Frank Alvarez]

They'll bring you ducks.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ducks.

[Frank Alvarez]

You never seen those? Duck.

[Joe Sanigato]

Duck hunt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Duck hunt dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

My brother. Oh, like bloodhounds.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but I don't think it's just the bloodhounds.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know. But my brother's dog, he has a husky, and he said when he. He had a yard at his old house, and he would bring him outside and he would have to keep them there just to show all the animals, like, the dogs coming.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mm.

[Joe Sanigato]

And they'd run into the fucking bushes, dude. Because he used to go in the backyard, he would murder.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're just like, they're territory animals by nature. I. I know. I'm animal.

[Joe Sanigato]

Talk to me, Steve Irwin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn. All right, what's his.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's his son's name? Yo, let's get his fucking son in here. Doing a reptile. Bring a fucking giraffe. Robert.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's Robert. Then I think his daughter. I think. I don't know. I don't want to say because his. I think his daughter's name is Bindi, I think. Or Bondi. Oops. If it's.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't. I don't even know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think. Look up Steve Irwin's kids now, bitch. I'm sorry. That was too much. You're not a bitch. Yeah, I think it's Robert, dude. The kid. I. I see them cry over stuff and it makes me want to cry. Is it Bondi or Bindi?

[Mikey]

Robert and Bindi.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. All right, good.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I don't even know how that's offensive, but I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Do we. I don't know, but I'm. I'm screwing up this person's name. I don't want to say something offensive. Okay, so by nature, these animals are territorial, Bro. We found. They were on two different instances. We found kittens in alleyways and brought them home. And our cat, you remember Mystique? Sticky Lou. She was. I had a cat named Mystique Ant. Make fun of me. She died of guess what. Cat mouth cancer. So hope you feel good about yourself.

[Mikey]

Was she blue?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but she did have like a half.

[Joe Sanigato]

They also named their dog Rogue. These people are obsessed with cartoons.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's ridiculous. We made an agreement.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm so glad you didn't name your daughters after, like, I don't even know. Store.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were so close. We were very, very sick name. We were very close. But as a family, we agreed that any pets that we get would be named after X Men. So we had Mystique and we had Rogue.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who's next on the list?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we now have our own family.

[Joe Sanigato]

So if you get another cat, then it's gonna be like, oh, this is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm all about good. You know how I feel about animal names. If I get an animal, I'm not naming him like Francis or like Robert or it's fucking like Mark.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's funny, like, when people have like a. Like a pug and it's like, who's that? It's like, oh, that's Arthur. There's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

So stupid. I hate it.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what? I hate, I hate when people give their cat names jobs. This is Dr. Buttersworth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's more playful than fucking. Like, bro, we talked about this. Not like a couple of years ago at this point, but like Aaron Judge has this beautiful little dog and its name is like, Kevin and his.

[Joe Sanigato]

Kevin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Horrible. That sucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

Kevin's horrible.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your pet name needs to be playful. I fully agree, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

Alfred is a good dog name. But like, like, that's a stupid name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, it depends what dog it is. We've gotten past like, certain human names, like Gertrude and like, you know, Eustace. Like those. I'm sorry, I watched Severance the other day. But like, we've gotten past. Those names suck. We all agree that those names suck. Sorry. Any Gerties out there?

[Joe Sanigato]

It comes back. It's cyclical.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know it is cyclical. But right now, what were old timey names can be pet names. And then what are now, like, pet names will be old timey names eventually.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, imagine you had like a fat cat and it's like, who's that? It's like, that's Barbara. Like, that's hilarious. It is.

[Frank Alvarez]

But also like, I hate it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would much rather that I, I, I agree with you, cuz Kevin is.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're also going. You have the perfect. You skirted the line so perfectly with Charlie. Because it is, it's close. It's very, It's a good playful animal name. Charlie. Charlie.

[Joe Sanigato]

Charlie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Charlie. But it's also like, that sucks as a name. And forgive me for any Charles's or Charlies out there, but it sucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. I mean, you naming your pets after X Men is way cooler to you. And you're also wearing that shirt, which, by the way, speaking of cyclical, let's come back around like a circle. Frank, you got a shirt on that you got from your butcher?

[Frank Alvarez]

It is my butcher shirt.

[Joe Sanigato]

Which is fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is cool and it's a great place.

[Joe Sanigato]

And it's a cool place.

[Frank Alvarez]

Lenny's.

[Joe Sanigato]

But turn around. But turn around. Frankie, turn around. Because we want to see the back of the shirt. We just want to look the shirt. The front of the shirt looks so cool. I'm interested in what the back of the shirt looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Brahma Bull. Like the Rock. Me and the rock.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do me a favor, give me a little spin. Give me a 180.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want like a full spin?

[Joe Sanigato]

A half spin? No, not like that. Show the back of this shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Please.

[Joe Sanigato]

Turn back around. Before we get demonetized, I know why.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'Re doing that, and I just Want.

[Joe Sanigato]

To say, because it's got fat nuts on the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

It does have nuts. They're bull balls, dude. Bull balls are a set. They're. They're. They're a symbol for power and. And. And strength and just, you know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Can anyone. Can anyone picture what would happen if I wore a shirt like that? What would happen on this show? It would be 45 minutes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, here's why. Here's why it would be 45 minutes, because yours would be like an.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you're doing.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I haven't even worn it. What is it? Aimed Leon, Amy Amy de Leon or fucking Kith. They'd be kiss. Bulb balls.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's why it would be funny, because you would spend money on it. This was a gift from a butcher. Do you not expect a shirt from a butcher to include some form of nudity?

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you sure?

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's. I have no expectation of what that even could possibly be.

[Frank Alvarez]

I fully disagree. I think that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, you're wearing a shirt that has animal balls on them and you hear like, they're a symbol of strength and whatever. I don't think that you can hear how much shit you're full of.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will be really honest with you. Bullshit.

[Mikey]

There you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's very good.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good job, comedy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be very honest with you. I love this butcher. I threw this shirt on this morning and I was like, you know what? I am going to wear it in because I want to support local business.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Unlike some people here. Joe, by the way, just tried to legally change his middle name to Elon. That's true. That's what he tried to do.

[Joe Sanigato]

First of all, I didn't make that joke. I fucking hate that guy. Annoys me to no end.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I. If you're wearing a shirt from a butcher, you don't expect there to be something obscene on it. You know how many. If I had told you that one of the people at the butcher making that connection, because they're butchers, they're just kind of like. They're old, you know, they're sweaty.

[Joe Sanigato]

Butchers are not delis. Delis are like.

[Frank Alvarez]

To me, it's two in one.

[Joe Sanigato]

No. What do you mean? Like, you walk in there and it's like a. Like a bodega.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that's a bodega.

[Joe Sanigato]

So what do you. Okay, Like a deli. Like, it's got, like, the meats and stuff you can buy.

[Frank Alvarez]

So. Yeah. So you walk in. By the way, is there cows? They're getting.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but, like, you can, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you Go in the back and they have like their meat cut out and laid out and it's like, here's the chicken.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do they kill the animals there, though?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think they kill them there, but they. But they get them and they cut them up there. They get full animals and they're like, we're gonna cut. All right. This is getting made in a couple ribeyes.

[Joe Sanigato]

You should do ribs.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is going to be all of it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yo. It's kind of crazy to have it in you to like kill animals all day.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think the butchers kill the animals, get the carcasses.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, you carve them. That's a crazier part of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is pretty crazy. It's like a science. Like you ever see that thing in any. Well, you don't go to butchers because you're not as elevated.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've been to a butcher before. You.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're going to a deli.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's not even a butcher.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, they also have a deli section where they have their. I'm not trying to on this. This place is literally amazing. But I go to this butcher. You also have dead animals on the walls.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know how you know how you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

And they have a choo choo train.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know how? That's a real butcher. A cow escapes from it once a year.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really, bro?

[Joe Sanigato]

The one on 20th Avenue, dude. The cows running around all the time. They found a cow on Ditmar's Boulevard, dude. And it was like, yeah, it's escaped from the butcher.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's kind of cool. I once saw there was a poultry place which is a chicken butcher.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you think I'm in second grade? You think I'm an idiot?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not explaining it to you. I'm explaining it to our millennial audience that doesn't even know what a millennial.

[Joe Sanigato]

That'S 30 years old. Frank, if you don't know poultry by now, Gen Z, the show has killed you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gen Z, who's the current one? Gen. Gen Aa. Gen.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, did we go. Where do you go from Gen Z?

[Frank Alvarez]

You go. You go back to a baby. You go double A. Gen Alpha, they call them Gen Aa or Gen Alpha or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

No one's watching us. Who's seven years old, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

I get cameo requests from seven year olds, bro. And it's like, can you please wish my son a happy birthday? It's his 12th birthday. He loves the show.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's unbelievable.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is crazy also.

[Joe Sanigato]

I stand corrected.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't like, thank you but like, yeah, bull balls. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

They just saw an animals. Nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just saying here. Oh. So the poultry place, it was near where I went to middle school and it was under the train and I watched someone. Legitimately, I remember it as clear as day. No, they went to like under the train pigeons. Bagged them up.

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

And went into. Yup. And went into the poultry place. Swear. Swear.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's got to be a leagues.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it's not.

[Joe Sanigato]

It should.

[Frank Alvarez]

It should be.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would have called. I would have snitched.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, now listen. Pigeon known as squab is a delicacy in other countries.

[Joe Sanigato]

This one.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you were to tell me that what I was eating was a New York pigeon, forget it. You couldn't. There's no way.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'd rather chew gum that I found under my desk in my public school classroom and eat a pigeon. Yeah, but I would go to another country and eat their pigeon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who's. Whose country do you think has the best pigeons?

[Joe Sanigato]

France.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would love a French pigeon. I would. Because the name itself is already French. Bichon. Is something going on? You keep shushing us.

[Mikey]

Oh, sorry, I'm just.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I think he's just going like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, he's just. He's in contemplative thought.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm so pensive. Shut the fuck up.

[Frank Alvarez]

The name itself is French. Bichon. Yeah. Is it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't, don't, don't. It's not. I think it's just a word.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, look at the word.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're saying it with a French accent. That doesn't make it fun. Look it up now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now you have to. And if I'm right. If I'm right, you have to kiss the bulb on my back.

[Mikey]

What exactly I'm saying is pigeon French?

[Joe Sanigato]

Is pigeon French with the country of origin? Have you never watched the spelling bee?

[Frank Alvarez]

Is pigeon French? Pigeon is a French word. Kiss the balls, bitch. Come on.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not kissing those balls. Kiss these nuts for a peeping chick. While dove is ultimately Germanic, we're possibly referring to the birds diving flight. Wow.

[Mikey]

Did you know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, it's. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the word pigeon is French.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Why?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because you just. Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because you look at it and you see, like, oh, it has like, similar French spelling to like, other, like, bichon.

[Joe Sanigato]

I got nothing. I've been completely derailed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Patisserie Bijon. I'm right. So you're.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know you are. Your reasoning feels wrong, but you're the. You Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right. I'm a little offended that you don't like my butcher slash deli shirt.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's not that I don't like it. I think that it's a funny shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm saying if I wore it, we live. I'm saying we live two different lives. I'm held to some standard.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's right. You are. Because. Because look at what's behind you. A Polaroid picture and a fake award. Behind me is Power Rangers T and Game Boy.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm confused. By what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I think people expect a little bit more of eclecticness. Eclecticity from who?

[Joe Sanigato]

Me or you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Me. You.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're the eclectic one.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't think I'm the eclectic one that collects Power Rangers?

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, that's it.

[Frank Alvarez]

And T. And is wearing. And is wearing you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank. You're the one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. He's wearing a unicorn kitty cat on his neck.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, you're the one who. Who always says that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here we go. This Joe.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, that Joe. Oh, this Joe. That Dope. That sounds like an eclectic guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're. I don't think you are. I think your hobbies are more mainstream. Hobbies?

[Joe Sanigato]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Personal health.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're into Marvel. The highest grossing movies of all time. Real mainstream.

[Frank Alvarez]

But bitch. Sorry, sorry. I'm pulling back the bitch back. Bitch.

[Joe Sanigato]

Rescind, bitch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Rescind, bitch. I was into that before all that stuff, and you know it. I had the Marvel trading cards and the X Men trading cards in the 90s. You know it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, so comic books and the creation of cartoons isn't mainstream prior to where it currently is? Sure, it's grown.

[Frank Alvarez]

It has grown. But what I'm saying is, like, if my. If I started getting into that stuff after it became mainstream, I could see your argument.

[Joe Sanigato]

And what are you, like? Baseball? America's past?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying that every hobby I or thing I like is eclectic, but I would think the people generally will agree that I am a little bit more eclectic than you. If not significantly more.

[Joe Sanigato]

Fix your chain. The other one. Well, they'll believe it because you've created narratives on this show that only exist here.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what's funny, though?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

None of my narratives are fake, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really, Frank, you create narratives all the time about how I am a. If I say the words, we'll get demonetized.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're right. You're right, you're right. You're right. That I know. Obviously fake.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

But about me and my eclecticity is not fake. It is a legitimate, true, real. I'm the salt of the earth, baby. Like, I am. I am the people's people. I think that's why people.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, this is the narrative I'm talking about. See, this is the narrative that I'm talking about. So, like, this is where we start to get into. Like. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that's why people enjoy the show. Because they get.

[Joe Sanigato]

Create.

[Frank Alvarez]

They get 1 percenter, right. Corporate Joe. And then they get alcoholic. I never said that. And I would never. I'm saying right now. I never said that. Yeah, yeah, right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Today.

[Frank Alvarez]

Today I didn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but you've created that narrative, bro. Do you know that I saw something online and it was a video of you dancing at the AC show.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I saw a comment on that and it was like, where is Joe? And someone was like, he was probably getting blackout drunk. And I was like, what? Scott Frank's dancing and drinking Grey Goose.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm double fisting a Grey Goose and a champagne bottle.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sitting in the back of the thing, talking to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dancing to Bobby Shmurda on a couch.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like it's a sick video.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like, this is what you've done.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Lush. What do you like to do? Drink.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know the world knows. Joey. I am a jokester.

[Joe Sanigato]

So all of. But back to what you just said.

[Frank Alvarez]

You are. I am a very disciplined young man who takes his personal health very seriously.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now he's doing this. Now I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want. I'm. What I'm saying is my eclectiveness, my eclecticity.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is definitely not a narrative that has been spun.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm the worst. You're the best.

[Frank Alvarez]

I never said that.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you're the worst.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now you're projecting. You're projecting. You see that watch? I got him with it. I got him. You're projecting. I never said that. Being non eclectic is being bad or the worst. I just think that.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I was referring to the other things.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those things were pretty bad, right? Yeah, but you're not those. Okay, but I am more eclectic than you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, now that we have that settled, my point is, if I wore that shirt, it would be over.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, again, it would be a wrap because you would wear it and it would be a Balenciaga shirt. Shirt with bull balls on it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Amber Crombie, where are those shoes from New Balance?

[Frank Alvarez]

Take them off. What's on the inside?

[Joe Sanigato]

What's on the inside?

[Frank Alvarez]

Aim. Leon d'Or. It's still new Balance.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a. It's a collab.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be really honest with you. I don't Know what aim Leon Dior is? It's a.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a brand.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I didn't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Free.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's right. They gave it to us at the Just for Life.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now we're both wearing free stuff.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're wearing. Most of this stuff on me has been gifted.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who's got a more expensive outfit on you?

[Frank Alvarez]

This. This was a gift.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, what am I wearing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's see. Let's see your wrist. What's that? What's on that one?

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Pull the slickest back.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. I accidentally stole this from the shoot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. I almost took some jewelry from him. Oops. But I didn't. I gave it back.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I got back to the hotel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was like, oh, I don't think they care.

[Joe Sanigato]

Me neither. They made it seem like.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's that, though? What's on that one?

[Joe Sanigato]

We went. We went too far.

[Frank Alvarez]

What Joe is referring to, by the way, was. Shoot. We. We were just out in Palm Springs. We won't say who it was for or what because I don't know if we're allowed to yet.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think so. Like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not gonna. That's what I'm saying. But we were out in Palm Springs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

California. And quite the. Quite the ride.

[Joe Sanigato]

Interesting way to get there for sure. It was an interesting ride in. Now, me and Frank took different flights. We met in Denver and then we took a plane from Denver to Palm Springs. I've never been to Palm Springs. It's in the middle of the desert. Apparently a lot of people go there. Didn't know that it was an international airport. That was shocking.

[Frank Alvarez]

And the airport was as big as a baseball field.

[Joe Sanigato]

Legitimately.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. First of all, my 90% of it was outside.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And everyone is 65 years old.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And. And white. White as hell.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. Now that I'm thinking about it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mm.

[Joe Sanigato]

The only two black people I saw the entire trip were on our set. No one in the airport. No one in the town.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. No one at the restaurant we went to. Yeah. So white.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's out there. They love it in the. In the desert, I guess.

[Frank Alvarez]

But Palm Spring, it's like, known as like a. I had no idea. It's like old Hollywood. Like, cuz there's like Palm Springs. Pioneer Town apparently is a huge music place.

[Joe Sanigato]

No clue of any.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were there and they were just like, yeah, this is where the Stones recorded this album. And then like the Doors and.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if I could Know, so I got.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But so we connected in Denver and we flew from Denver to Palm Springs, which was longer than I thought it was gonna be.

[Joe Sanigato]

It was like two hours from there. And then when we're descending, flight was like normal for the most part. Then we're like descending into Palm Springs and the captain's like, we're gonna have the flight attendant sit down, cuz it's gonna get a little choppy. It didn't get a little choppy. It got a lot of chop.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a fucking full on chopped salad. I was.

[Joe Sanigato]

We were chopped our fucking heads off. Worst turbulence I've ever been in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Without a doubt the worst I've been in. And you know, I've fully explained my mentality getting on a plane.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank hates flying.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like flying. I do it. And it's not like when I'm on the plane, I'm like, I need to like take something or I'm a nervous wreck. I'm fine. But like, the minute I feel like a little shake, a little shake, you're like, oh. Yep. So we're descending and we're bouncing around, dude. Like bad. Not like. I don't know how to explain it, but like roller coaster.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like not only that, but like weirdly doing stuff like this. Yep, it was like that. And I'm like, I keep seeing the sky and on the floor and then the sky and on the floor and.

[Frank Alvarez]

We'Re going through clouds. Yeah. So I start feeling the bounce.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frankie.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm like. It starts going and like there was like bumps and stuff. And it's for like five minutes. I'm like, all right, whatever. Like, you know, you kind of get through patches of turbulence like that. But it was turbulent. So the word.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great word.

[Joe Sanigato]

For like 20, 25 minutes, something like that. And it got just progressively worse until like the last half minute and then we hit the ground. But like we. We start going through like a lot of turbulence. And I'm like, oh, Frank's probably freaking out. And I look, I look over at Frank. He's sitting right next to me. And I was. Because I was looking out the window and I was like, I just want to know if it's going to happen. But then I turn around, I look at Frank and he's just like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Breaking Bad blasting in his ears, holding.

[Joe Sanigato]

His phone, not watching and just doing this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. So I was watching. I had downloaded this season of Breaking Bad Bad, which re. Watch it or watch it for the first time, if you Haven't. Okay. And science. Yeah. And thank you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I just stopped watching. But it was playing in my ears. So I'm, like, sitting there trying to be calm, and Walter Jr. Is screaming in my ear. And, you know, I'm not doing that accent. I'm not.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm sure that won't offend anybody. Do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It will. And I'm not going to. So I'm sitting there screaming, and then you, like a psycho, have your window wide open.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't want to watch?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I want to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have the windows closed.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's why I sit at the window, because I like to look.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nope. I know we're high up. I'll be honest. I even sometimes convince myself, like, we're actually not really. Like, this is all, like, a prank. And we're not really in the air. We're still on the ground. But, like, people are, like, trying to make it seem like we're flying.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's what you do in your head. I've done that. Like, when I first started flying, like, pretty consistently or not even. Like, this was like. Like 8 years ago when I was, like, getting on planes. I would sit aisle, and I would be like, I'm on a bus. Yeah, it's a bumpy road on a bus.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's exactly. And yo. Like, there's this, like.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't like hitting the ground without seeing, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I. I know, like, I know the feeling of hitting the ground. I'm like, good. Until we're, like, you know, close to the ground. Because I put myself in the mentality of, like, we're at a safe, fallible distance. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, we're still high and going fast. Yeah. But, like, this is a safer distance. But, like, things explode. Yeah. So I'm sitting there, eyes closed. Walter Jr. Do the impression.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not doing.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're the impressions guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am, but I'm not.

[Joe Sanigato]

Come on, eclectic, man. Do the impression.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank, don't do it. I'm just doing the face he made. I go, I saw your life flash before your eyes.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're like, no, I mean, this is me. Boring for your life.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, I know. No, I would never. That's offensive. And we're, like, going. And I look over and I look at the window.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And we're going through a cloud. But, like, I guess there was, like, a light that flashed.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's the. From the wing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, because we were way in front of the wing. It might have been on like the front of the plane or something, there was a light that flashed. And the color of the light that flashed made the cloud that we were going through look like fire.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I just went, nope. And I just.

[Joe Sanigato]

I thought about that too, because as we were going, like, when you're going through through, or if it's like raining and you get close to the ground and you're going through a cloud, the lights from the plane just make it look like you're going way faster than you are.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So I knew that, like, as that was happening, I'm looking at it, I was like, oh, God, that's even creeping me out. And I look over at Frankie and I just, like, I. I didn't see him looking, but I saw him turn his head back and I was like, I really hope he didn't see that. Like, I really hope he didn't see out the window about that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So we landed safely. Thank God.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, thank you to the flight crew, I guess. I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pilot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Pilots.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know why I said it like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pilot. Then again, Palm Springs, guys, desert. Show of hands here. Can anyone tell me what they have in the desert almost exclusively? Anyone? That's right. Dirt and sand.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sand it.

[Frank Alvarez]

So we get out 40 mile per hour winds and we're getting blasted in the face.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. We're like walking to baggage claim and it's like a fucking college campus. There's like a cafeteria and shit. And you get outside and I'm like, oh, okay. They weren't kidding about the wind. And like, there's dirt in my eyes. I could. I'm eating it. I could feel it between my teeth. And then we get in our Uber and the guy, I think was. Didn't he say something? Like he didn't know where we were going? And I was like, dude, something like that, whatever. But like, he was. He was awesome. Shout out to Dan. He's not watching. He. So he. We start driving and I just have my head down. We have a 40 minute drive now. We've been traveling all day.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It's a 12 hour fucking travel day.

[Joe Sanigato]

We have like a 50 minute drive to where our Airbnb is. And we're in the car and I just have my head down. I'm just like looking and I just hear Frank go, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. So I look up and I look out the window and I can't see anything because we are in a sandstorm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And not like the cool EDM electronica song Sandstorm. Dancer and Teddy land.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Mikey]

No, it's over there going, not the banging.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. But yeah, so we're a legit, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sandstone, Tatooine, Jakku, you know. Yeah, sandstorm.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it was kind of wild. And then the guy even said. So we were asking about him because it was so many, like, is it normally windy like this? He said, yeah, it gets windy sometimes and whatever. Then we're kind of talking about the weather. He said, gets real hot or whatever the fuck. So I'm like, okay. This guy's like, spent some time out here. He's a professional driver, like, whatever. And we're driving and we're in the middle of the sandstorm. And I'm like, holy shit, dude. We can't see anything out the front of the windshield. And he just goes, guys, this isn't good. And I'm like, I don't want to hear that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And he's still, by the way, through the first, like, minute of the sandstorm going 85 miles per hour. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

We were sending.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were not. And I just click. I just put my fucking belt on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hit a rattlesnake in the road. We're going flying.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the other fucking thing. We're, as we pull up to the Airbnb after we go through a fucking tornado, basically like, Doroth, we were at Oz. He goes, all right, just be careful out there. We're like, for what? He's like, coyotes, rattlers. I'm like, get us in this fucking house. It was like, we were exhausted at this point. There was a charcuterie board waiting for us that was very generous and very kind.

[Joe Sanigato]

That was the first time I've had a charcuterie board at midnight.

[Frank Alvarez]

And while. Midnight? Fucking Palm Springs at 3am in New York.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, that was a late cheese that I had.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, sure. That haunt you the next morning?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I was fine, actually. It was, like, great. That, like that. That whole trip, like, I was surprised. Like, sometimes when I go, like, on trips and stuff, I feel like I get too nervous.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. And like, every time he gets a little rumbly bumbly or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

But yeah. But overall, it was really cool, being an awesome experience.

[Joe Sanigato]

We had so much fun on that shoot. Those people were so cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So thank God for that. I was like, yeah, when is this shit going to stop?

[Frank Alvarez]

There was a. At the set that we were at, there was a snake handler.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, that was a little scary.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I was like, at the end of the day, I was like, did you find anything? She was just like, nothing to worry about. Just a snake. A gopher snake. Gophers, brother. Yeah, those are.

[Joe Sanigato]

I only know them from Caddyshack. That's right, those are. And that was a fake one, but I imagine they're similar size.

[Frank Alvarez]

They still got gophers?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they got them, but yo. So those are the ones. I'm assuming they call them gophers because they do burrowing too. Because we saw those holes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, she. When she called it a gopher snake, I imagine it's because, like, they swallow gophers.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was where I went. But probably you're right. And there were holes. Every.

[Joe Sanigato]

There was like snake sized holes ever and like every.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. And. Yeah, everywhere. And I don't do, like, bad with animals, but, like, those. We're in their territory, bro. We were in the desert.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. We drove, like, and the shoot was like, not. It was like, very, like, decently far into the backyard. So, like, we're in the den.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

It was also that collection of rocks. I was like, dude, I don't like that. Yeah, community.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a nest. Yeah, you know, it was a nest, but.

[Joe Sanigato]

But it was a good experience. We had a lot of fun. Thank God we survived.

[Frank Alvarez]

No coyotes.

[Joe Sanigato]

No coyotes. You think you could take a coyote one? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Coyotes, they're not. They're just like little dogs, right?

[Joe Sanigato]

I could take a coyote. It would definitely hurt, but I would get one. Yeah, I would get it off me.

[Frank Alvarez]

You get off on it?

[Joe Sanigato]

You know I didn't say that. You know, I didn't say that. I think one coyote, 15 to 45 pounds. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Beating one coyote.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, no problem.

[Frank Alvarez]

Two coyotes, probably with a good set of legs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, if you. If I roll my ankle now, this is gonna get tougher.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never met a dog that could, like, really manhandle me.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you serious?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't think I have.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude. There's dogs out there.

[Frank Alvarez]

They just look like little Joey. Knowing Joey.

[Joe Sanigato]

Holy shit. Gray wolves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gray wolves are how big? 20 to £50?

[Joe Sanigato]

£70?

[Mikey]

No, 70 to 115.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Fuck that.

[Frank Alvarez]

And how tall are they? Well, first of all, six and a half feet. Long bananas.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. We're not 32 inches, so almost three feet.

[Joe Sanigato]

Coyote, I'm fucking beating the hell out of. But a wolf? A Mexican wolf. What the fuck is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's so many jokes to be made.

[Frank Alvarez]

That I know we're not gonna touch them.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not gonna.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not gonna do it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I heard you go, don't say a word. But yeah, Gray Wolf, really quick. It looked like gay wolf. And I was like, whoa, wait.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gray Wolf? Isn't that someone's name in Grey Worm? Well, I know I remember Grey Worm, but isn't someone like Gray? Oh, in fucking. Fenrir Grayback from Harry Potter, friend. What? Fenrir Grayback from Harry Potter. He's the. He's a. He's a Death Eater. The one that has all the snarl, like, gnarly teeth. Oh, and he's just like, oh, I'm a werewolf. He's the one that attacked Sirius Black. Well, no, I don't think. I don't know if he attacks him. But in. In canon, he's the one that gave Remus Lupin the werewolf disease because he attacked him.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's saying a lot. All right, well, we do have advertisements. We have to get to those, ladies and gentlemen.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're just little puppies. Knowing Joey, he'd be like, I'll tell.

[Joe Sanigato]

You right now, I would give a coyote three tries before I hit it back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

If a coyote latched onto my neck, as long as I'm not gushing blood, I'm gonna still be like, I'm nice. I'm nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm a good boy. I'm a good boy. I just did that, like, kissing like. Like a. Like a dog. Remind me of a story after you read these ads.

[Joe Sanigato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. And you know what, you want to smell good. How about you live good and be happy and go over to patreon patreon.com the basement yard where you can have more of us. And I mean that would be very kind of you. So thank you. If you have and if you intend on it, we thank you as well. You go for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance and then that second tier you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, Monday, Friday. The the basement yard boys, we're going to be there for you so go check it out. Thank you to our over 33,000 paid patrons. We are so appreciative and grateful. It's giving us these really, really cool opportunities. So thank you. We're excited for what this year is going to bring us. We've been rocking in and rolling and all the other adjectives that we could think of in regards to rocking and rolling. But, yeah, go check it out. We love you. We appreciate you, and keep this party going.

[Joe Sanigato]

Keep this party going.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just did that thing where I was, like, like, beckoning a dog at the shoot that we were at. Again, it will remain nameless for now, but we were rapping on one of the takes, and they were just like, all right, let's do something a little more fun and playful. And Joe and I were like, all right. And Joe walks up to me, and I beckoned you like a dog and, like, kiss at you. And then it was silent and they go, let's just do one more.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they were really nice about it. When you. I think when you, like, do something a little weird, they're like, all right, we're gonna do one more. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, but, like, the best was your necklace. It was like, what is. This is so nice. And you're like, oh, my daughter gave it to me. Oh, my God, I love it. Put it behind your neck. It was bad. Funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was. It was funny. They were. That was. That was, like a legit, like, shoot.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it was cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. It was really, really cool. I had a great time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I think it's going to come out great. I'm excited for people to see that. Also, I want to bring this up before I forget, because I have a picture of it in my phone. I think someone sent it to me, and they were like, you should talk about this. Oh, no, I think it was my sister. She sent to me. She's like, this is a basement yard topic that you guys should bring up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. What's up?

[Joe Sanigato]

Is it real? Who knows? Doesn't matter.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't include that. We're not.

[Joe Sanigato]

Listen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't put that in the clip.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you know apparently, before mating.

[Frank Alvarez]

Allegedly.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's fine. Before mating, male giraffes headbutt the females in the bladder until they pee, then taste it to see if she's ovulating. Kinky.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, dude. Imagine being horny and being like, give me your piss.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's what people do, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

They just piss.

[Frank Alvarez]

Piss play. There's out there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, some.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. That's what I'm Saying, so giraffes are kinky. You know what? Listen, I. I'm not into it. I'm not. You're not going to get me giraffes piss.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I'm. I'm a bit. But giraffes are awesome.

[Frank Alvarez]

Giraffes are cool.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But also.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't. Dude, they're headbutting bladders and drinking piss over there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I say, when I was younger, I had once to make myself pee. Punched my bladder repeatedly.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, you're a giraffe. See, that's basically. I guess I am trying to see if you were ovulating.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I didn't care about if I was ovulating, because I can't. I was just trying to make myself pee. But if anyone tries to tell you and kink shame you people, you pissers out there, you know, wherever you may be.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, if. If you were. I fully support your love for whatever piss you're into.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, I would pee on someone if they wanted me to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Crazy. I don't. I don't think I could.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not gonna judge you. I'm not gonna judge you. I fully swear.

[Frank Alvarez]

Crazy. It is crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

You wouldn't pee on. You wouldn't pee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nah, I can't. And thank you for not asking. I saw where that was going.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought you were gonna say you wouldn't pee on your wife. No, Well, I was.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, yeah, thank you for not personalizing it. I appreciate that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was like, all right. But, like, if she really wanted it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, don't talk about my wife. Yeah, okay. But no, first of all, don't say.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, don't talk about my wife. Like I'm disrespecting your wife.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're asking me to piss on her.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not asking that. I'm saying if she was into that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would say, like, no, I would say respectfully.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is not.

[Joe Sanigato]

You'd put on a suit, say, madam.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd have a clipboard. And I would say, ma'am, I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Think I can oblige.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I would. Tip of the cap.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I would say. I just don't think I get Southern for it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because that. That feels like that would be the way to respond.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I just. Not me.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you want to let someone down.

[Frank Alvarez]

You do a cowboy voice. I just. I don't think I could bring myself to do it. Like, what was that movie? The restaurant movie. Right. Waiting.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Remember the guy in Waiting just couldn't piss in a public toilet. Yeah, I would feel like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. You have, like, performance anxiety for pissing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

But what I was saying, for you kinkers out there, I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

That feels like a slapper to us.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right. For the people into kinks out there, maybe we just take that out.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's not a slur.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can we look that up? Make sure Google some slurs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't gurgle it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't gargle that. For those that are into kinks.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you let anyone shame you, just say it's natural.

[Joe Sanigato]

Giraffes are doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Giraffes are doing piss play.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Monkeys are doing poop play.

[Joe Sanigato]

When you think about it, the thing that the giraffes are doing makes a lot of sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like they're testing. They're. They're. They're doing what. What's it called, Does.

[Joe Sanigato]

How do you find if you're pregnant?

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly? Pee on this stick.

[Joe Sanigato]

You pee on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pee on the stick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they're just testing the waters. Instead of putting the toe in, they're putting their tongue.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let me ask you a question here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know what question you could possibly ask me.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's one's coming. Okay, so you know how you have to pee on the pregnancy thing and then you wait, and then you find out if you're pregnant or not?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't have to.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I know, but I'm saying, like, so that's a thing. What if there was an extra step and you had to, like, put it in your mouth like a thermometer?

[Frank Alvarez]

Crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you. Would you. I mean, would you do it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Me? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, why am I.

[Joe Sanigato]

If that was the thing, if, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

The way to find out if the person's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pee on the stick and then your.

[Frank Alvarez]

Partner needs to put their mouth on it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Because you need both. You need the male, you need the female. You got her pee. You got your smile. You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna. I guess it's the least that I can do in that situation.

[Joe Sanigato]

Exactly. That's what I was gonna say.

[Frank Alvarez]

My fucking. In this situation, wife is going through the insane process of being pregnant. If that's what it takes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do a little thermometer.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll do it. Because she's doing enough. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

And honestly, that it may make the test go faster. We don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

We definitely know. It doesn't say that. It definitely has no effect right now. Yeah, I'm sure there are people that do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

That was a trap. And you pass. Good job.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean. Yep. Neither of us can talk.

[Joe Sanigato]

What did I do? I said pistol earlier.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stupid pistol.

[Joe Sanigato]

Probably not going to be happy about that. They are not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sign up for this company. They'll give you a pistol. Bring your pistol is what you said.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did I say that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think so. We could always redo it on the back end. It's no big deal.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, we're fine. Yeah, I hope, but shout out to giraffes, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I think it is a smart way. Are there any animals that do like that where they're just like, yo, on me. So I know if you're pregnant.

[Joe Sanigato]

Look up hyena.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I know pregnancy. I know this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you know?

[Mikey]

Yeah, with the. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They gave. So the female hyenas basically give birth through whatever their birthing canal is. It looks like a uterus. No, no, but it's like some. It's something else. It's like the way it comes out, it looks like. I don't need to see it. I saw it once on Animal Planet.

[Joe Sanigato]

I gotta pull up a type in hyena pregnancy.

[Frank Alvarez]

But they have to like. They bite open and rip open their. Their.

[Joe Sanigato]

Their like uterus, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it looks like a. Basically like a penis.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's only 110 days. Wow. Jesus.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right, we want an explanation. We don't want.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, we don't want any. I don't want to see it. No. Why would I want to see it?

[Joe Sanigato]

So you say how.

[Frank Alvarez]

How?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, so how.

[Mikey]

I need a house.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there's a. Right there. There's a Right there. Where? Right there.

[Joe Sanigato]

That is a me. How does a mia.

[Frank Alvarez]

How does a hyena give birth? Go ahead. We don't need to show this. We can.

[Joe Sanigato]

Aren't the males the one that are pregnant or something?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I. That's. That's seahorses.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, I know that. I don't know why that's such a well known fact.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's one of those random things that we learn in elementary school. Yeah. How to get out of fucking. Yeah. A pseudo penis, see, which they give birth through.

[Joe Sanigato]

Birth canal is only about one inch in diameter.

[Frank Alvarez]

And the suffocation of the cubs is sadly common. The successful birth will result in one to six cubs weighing around a kilogram each.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they gotta like. Their shit like explodes though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, they have to like rip it open in order to prevent.

[Joe Sanigato]

My God. Being an animal is so wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

The animal Kingdom is just bananas sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Like, they're given through birth through penises.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And like, headbutting each other's head. Ding dong.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just piss.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Pee. Drinking the pee.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is it in.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, I guess headbutting. Your. Your bladder worked, right? Because it works for them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I just peed. If you push on a bladder, you'll. Someone will pee.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't. I don't even know where my bladder is. Like, I know in the general.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you're like your pubic area. Like that general area. Like, a little higher in the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my bladder. Yeah, it's behind there. I mean, it's not on your. You know, it's. It's a couple layers back.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But when I. When I had knee surgery in high school, they told me I couldn't leave until I peed. But I. Like, the epidural was still in effect. Yeah, see, the epidural was still in effect. This is a lot of pictures, brother.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know they're medical.

[Mikey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right here.

[Mikey]

It's right here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nice.

[Mikey]

He was right. It's pretty much.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Your pubic area. But they told me I couldn't leave until my.

[Joe Sanigato]

Until you pissed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Until I pissed. Because of the. What's the fucking thing? I just said the word epidural. Epidural wore off. So I had a pee so bad, but, like, the muscles in the area, like, I couldn't, like, release it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn. Did they give you a catheter?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. So I was sitting there punching my bladder to pee.

[Joe Sanigato]

And were they there for that?

[Frank Alvarez]

The nurse saw me because it literally was like, you know when. Like, you know the awesome sound of when you milk a cow into a metal bucket? We've talked about this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, they heard that because every time I punch my bladder, piss would shoot out.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you had one of the metal pans.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had. It was. It was a. Basically looked like like a half gallon, like, milk jug.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But they, like, cut a part of the top out and they heard that and they came over and they're like, what's going on? And they saw me. They reopened my. My. Like, my drugs and put me back to sleep. Because they were like, you need to go back to sleep, Frankie.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just to be clear of what we're. I just want to set the scene here. You're telling me that you had surgery and you woke up and you had to pee really bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you're punching your bladder.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joe Sanigato]

And pee is coming out of your penis?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Harder.

[Joe Sanigato]

Harder.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want me to show you?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I don't. What do you mean, no? I don't even know what you were attempt. Attempting to do just now. And then the nurse puts you back to sleep because it's like this man's psychotic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That's the second time they had to put me back to sleep because I. During. Because I got hurt playing high school football. So, like, the. The. The psal, which was the public school athletic league for, like, public schools, they paid for everything. And it was like the top of the line doctors, like, wow. I got my knee surgery at the hospital for special surgeries. It was like, with the doctor that did, like, all the surgeries for the G jets. And is it relevant to the story?

[Joe Sanigato]

You flex it on us.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's relevant to the story. So as I was getting ready and prepped for surgery, they're like, hey, by the way, obviously this comes at no cost to you. Do you want to wake up during your surgery? And I'm like, what do you mean, wake up during your surgery? And they're like, well, we'll give you an epidural and you'll wake up. We'll wake you up in the middle of the surgery so you could be awake and see what's going on. And they had, like, a camera, a monitor, and they're like, so you could see. You could watch a surgery.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's kind of fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, not for you.

[Joe Sanigato]

And did you wake up? You did. You don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I woke up, and I was in. I was laying down.

[Joe Sanigato]

You told them like, yo, wake me up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I said, yeah. And both my parents were like, what? And I was like, yeah, it. Why not?

[Joe Sanigato]

They're probably like, no one elects to have.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were like. I was like, it's free, so why not?

[Joe Sanigato]

I would do that too.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I. I woke up. I went to sleep with the anesthesia. I woke up. Obviously, I don't know how much longer later, but, like, there was like a big hood over, like, my. Up, like, my chest, and there was like a big. Like, I couldn't see my legs. And there was blowing hot air on me, bro. In the. Or. They were, like, listening to Coldplay. It was. They were having the time of their life in there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you know, I wake up and I hear fucking clocks. And I'm like, all right, clocks. But I felt a pressure. Like, all I could feel was something. It felt like something was, like, pushing on my leg like that. But it was weird because you can't Feel. Feel below the waist.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right. Weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't grasp that concept.

[Joe Sanigato]

Could you move?

[Frank Alvarez]

I could move this. But again, it was under. Yeah, it was under. It was under a. Like a. Like a thing blowing hot air on me. And then I went to, like, wiggle my legs and I couldn't. And mentally I just got freaked out.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I was just like. And the anesthesiologist was sitting right next to me, and I'm like, I can't move my legs.

[Joe Sanigato]

And they're like, you're getting surgery, dumbass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not only that, but they were like, yeah, that's the epidural.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I was like, no, but like, I can't. And I started, like, freaking out and wiggling. And I could hear. They were just like, all right, put him back.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So they just like. It was knock them out, basically. So I'm breaking a sweat trying to move my legs, and they just like, release the valve for my anesthesia. And I just literally, I was like, gone.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't like needles.

[Mikey]

I. I just. I can't imagine that. What did they expect to happen? Like, what are you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I also think they expect.

[Joe Sanigato]

Him to be like, hey, don't go work.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I saw on the screen, like, it looked like someone was like, in like peach colored jelly.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did they open your. So, like my only. And I would ask them, I'd be like, yo, you're gonna open it, or like, you're doing this, like, microscopic bullshit.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I had four openings. So because my knee was basically.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did they cut and open?

[Frank Alvarez]

Look at him. We found his thing really hard.

[Mikey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Mikey]

I don't know why. It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you afraid of needles or like.

[Mikey]

No, I'm not. It's just I'm picturing like looking at my own knee being open.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would. I would definitely elect to see that.

[Mikey]

That's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I.

[Joe Sanigato]

If I had no plan, I didn't see that.

[Frank Alvarez]

But the way that they did it on me was normally it's like three holes that were in my, like, kneecap because my whole knee was fucked. Acl, mcl, pcl, patella. Like it was fucking spaghetti in there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Tlc.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then underneath, maybe like, you tore all those? Everything, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

What'd you tear?

[Frank Alvarez]

Acl, mcl, lcl, pcl. And my patella was fucked.

[Mikey]

What did you do?

[Joe Sanigato]

Football tours, acl, pcl, hdmi, lbgtq. That's great. What happened? Whatever, it doesn't matter. So they opened the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, no. So there was three holes and then the Opening was a slit. Whoa. You got a vagina from there? Because they opted. When I was getting the surgery done, they were like, do you want the new ligaments? You want them to be cadaver, or do you want them to be your own ligaments?

[Joe Sanigato]

Get a dead guy's knee in my knee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, I took my own. So the little slit that they do is they had to go into my hamstring, and they took some ligaments from my hamstring and use that to reconstruct my own shit. Because they said they were like, there's a chance that your body rejects the cadaver. And then you got a big fucking issue. You know, it could be haunted.

[Joe Sanigato]

You could have a haunted cadaver knee. And that's the issue, is that basically, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But. Yeah. And I was fucked.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn, dude.

[Mikey]

My knee is starting to feel a little weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't like needles?

[Frank Alvarez]

Why.

[Mikey]

Why do we keep saying needles? I don't think needles was.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're very squeamish, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't like scalpels?

[Mikey]

Scalpels, yeah. Okay. We're starting to get there.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't like stabbing.

[Mikey]

I'm a little less cool with that one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I know what you don't like, and you're ready for this. What you don't like. When you see that thing that's, like, prying open skin.

[Mikey]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

That freaks out.

[Mikey]

That's what I'm picturing. And it's starting to affect my actual knee right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Mikey]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Interesting. It doesn't bother me.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. I still don't have feeling in some of my knee. And, like, you could still see the. Where they went. Like, the scar is still there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Were you on. Were you producing this show while we had this conversation where I said, like, I was trying not to sound like a serial killer, but watching someone like a doctor do surgery and, like, cutting open something, I think that's fascinating. Frank. We don't care.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the. That's where they went into my hamstring. Right there.

[Mikey]

Yeah, it's pretty prominent, honestly.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's still. Like, not like, the feeling is still. Not back. And I think, like, the scar tissue.

[Joe Sanigato]

Or something, they're still putting you under. Well, they fed you a lot of anesthesia that day.

[Frank Alvarez]

You've never been under anesthesia, have you?

[Mikey]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a Picky Boys video asking right there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Get an anesthesiologist in here, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like, a thing. Have you ever seen videos of people fighting anesthesia?

[Joe Sanigato]

I would probably do that. Probably. I would 100% do that, you would fail.

[Frank Alvarez]

Obviously, there are people that fight it for, like, minutes, and they're like. Like, Stevo.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's like, bro, look up people fighting anesthesia.

[Joe Sanigato]

If there's any. What, are we gonna play the video on this thing? Can't. But, like. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you wouldn't do good with, like. Have you ever seen, like, a crime scene photo or anything?

[Mikey]

I'm okay. It's something about the act of it actually, like, actively happening.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, a dead person, I think.

[Mikey]

I'd be all right with that.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, they got hit by a train. They're smushed.

[Mikey]

I'm okay with that because that's. That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're dead. They're gone. It's result, you know, it's so the.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's result.

[Frank Alvarez]

So they're, like, in progress. Yes, of it all.

[Joe Sanigato]

So surgery?

[Mikey]

Yeah, that'd be tough. I try. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no one's begging you to try.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you say, I will try?

[Mikey]

No, I try to look sometimes if, like, it crosses my page, and I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? When the hell is surgical procedures crossing your page, brother?

[Joe Sanigato]

I've gotten that, like, sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never gotten that. You've never been under anesthesia or gotten surgery.

[Joe Sanigato]

What can you not. What can you not watch? Like, something like that? I have something that's similar to that that I, like, refuse to watch. I'll give you time to think. Mine is, like, people getting hurt in the gym. Can't watch it. Like, you ever see. I saw this video, like, by accident, and, like, now I can't watch videos, like, unless it's very obvious that the dude doesn't get hurt and they're just doing, like, a workout thing and they're.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, backwards or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, like, so I don't have a problem with people, like, fainting after, like, deadlifting or something kind of funny. But someone was, like, leg pressing and their legs. So, like, because of that, I can't watch. If I'm looking at a video and it just looks very raw. Is not the right thing. But if it looks like that, I won't watch it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, yeah, I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to. You remember that show that was on MTV when we were kids? It was called Scarred?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I loved that show.

[Joe Sanigato]

And they.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they had some gnarly shit on there.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like, skateboarders was like, yeah. Fucking board went right through my neck. I was like, what the fuck is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just tell my girlfriend at the time, Like, I don't know. I might end up on it. Because you're so wild. She was like, oh, my God, stop.

[Joe Sanigato]

Be like, you know, my legs. It could be my leg. It probably be my legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

My legs, which are mostly scars. The people saw it. They saw that my legs is.

[Joe Sanigato]

You probably told her, like, yeah, I submitted my legs, but I'm waiting to hear back.

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Joe Sanigato]

I submitted my legs to the show. No, waiting to hear back. We had a good scar.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but I think, yeah, like, something like, any, like, lower body injury.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, sports injuries in general.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sports injuries are bad. I always. I always think back to that dude from Louisville, Kevin Ware, and. And then the Sean Livingston. You remember that one that was gruesome. Paul George a couple years ago. Was it Kristaps Porzingis? Didn't he have one a couple years ago? Or someone on the. Someone on the Celtics.

[Joe Sanigato]

The worst one I had I have ever seen. I can't. It was the tight end for the Bears. Was it Zach Miller or Heath Miller? I can't remember. But what I'm describing with the leg press that happened to him in the end zone. And I like. I. Right now, I, like, feel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's because that's how I got hurt, was playing football. So, like, football injuries, me up. But like, any. I think. I think, yeah. I think, like, you're saying, like, just like, gym injuries or something like that, but mostly the lower body.

[Joe Sanigato]

What about pimple? You like pimples? You like pimple stuff?

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I don't hate it. I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you like watching a big squirty?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, no. That I don't like, but I don't like what? I'll tell you this, though. When they're, like, dry and they're not, like, wet and big and, you know.

[Joe Sanigato]

White and a dry pimple, like a blackhead.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't hate that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't go looking for them, but if they pop up, I give it a sec before I swipe away.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. You know what I kind of like? I like when they're, like, scraping someone's nose and, like, there's, like, a cheese, and you're like, yo, this is disgusting. But, like, that's why I like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Full transparency. You know what I can't watch, as you were just saying that. Boogers.

[Joe Sanigato]

Boogers.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know why, but, like, those videos. You ever see those videos of, like. Like, it's like, one is like, the kid at, like, his Christmas choir, and he sneezes and there's just a Giant booger that. I can't. I can't. I don't know why.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're not a booger boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can. Well, who is?

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not. I mean, I'm only. I wouldn't say I'm a booger boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't. Or like people that like and then eat it. I can't do that. That I don't get that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've never done that in my life.

[Frank Alvarez]

Toddler, you did it. I'm sure I did.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've never even four or five year old. I've never done that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You pick your nose. Every guy picks her nose all the time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pick a nose at least, at least five days out of the week.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like people that pick it and then look at it and eat. Like, I'm not even kidding right now.

[Joe Sanigato]

I get looking at it. I get looking at it, but I'm. I'm not eating this. What are you fucking crazy?

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, it used to be really difficult for me to watch people throw up, but I'm okay now. Like, I remember like, like if, you know, 10 years ago, if I were watching like Jackass. Yeah, I would need to.

[Joe Sanigato]

Throwing up makes me laugh. Not me. There was but other people throwing up. It makes me die, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was one. I know you can't watch it and I highly. I'm not even kidding. It's the grossest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It was like cut from one of the Jackass movies.

[Joe Sanigato]

How'd you see it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because they like release it in like 1.5 or 2.5 or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what? Before you get there, cliffhanger. We have some ads. We have some ads, ladies and gentlemen. We have. How you doing? Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is going to keep you looking stylish, okay? Because they're going to be like your personal stylist. You're going to go on Stitch Fix. You're going to fill out your whole style quiz. You're going to tell them what kind of patterns you like, what kind of clothes you wear, what's your height, weight, what kind of fits you like from which brands and whatnot. And then they'll jump right into work. They'll start pulling some items from some brands and they'll send them to you. And you only pay for the stuff that you keep. Okay? And you send the rest back free returns. No big deal. But yeah, it saves you some time. You don't have to go to the mall, you have to do shopping. It's like an all day affair that you have to go there and, you know, wait in line. You gotta look for stuff. Someone will, you know, take your recommendations. They'll find out what kind of stuff that you like, what kind of brands that you like, and they'll just go to work for you and send you things. Okay? It's lovely. It's a great way to keep, you know, your, your wardrobe nice and fresh and new all the time. But yeah, so make style easy. Get started today@stitch fix.com basement. That is stitchfix.com basement. Get it going, folks. All right, Just give your little stylist. Who's the one? Stylist. Get a stylist. Stitch fix.com basement. Enjoy. And lastly, here we have Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app or website where you can go and search and compare high quality doctors and click instantly to, you know, book an appointment or something like that. This is how I found out, like, who my doctor is going to be. Because once I was off my, my mother's insurance, then I was like, okay, I don't even know where to go now. I can't go to the same place. My insurance isn't. You know, they don't take my insurance. I have to go somewhere else. I use ZocDoc. And you plug in your insurance, you tell them what kind of care you need, whether it's a primary care physician or a specialist dermatologist or whatever it is, you know, they'll find them in your area, they'll show you their review. So it's patient reviewed, like I said. So you know, if they're a 4.9, 5.0, something like that, it's a great score. So you're like, okay, we know this is a good doctor. And they show their next available appointment. So usually it's within like two days. So there's a quick turnaround and yeah, so you can find out all the doctors in your area. And yeah, that's what it's used for. So there you go. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Zocdoc slash basement. Okay, Zocdoc.com basement what were you talking about? Somewhere disgusting?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, it was Dave England, one of the jackass guys. And the skit was called the omelette.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he ate like, he took bites out of like a potato, a block of cheese, an onion, and drank like three raw eggs and then threw them up into a pan and cooked it and tried to eat it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, what the fuck?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's the gross like that. That's what I'm saying. Like, I couldn't see that. Also, I don't like seeing like, like bugs in skin, like ticks or bot flies or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bot flies?

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

But flies being in someone's neck and they're like pulling it out, bro, I'm good. Yeah, anything in the ear can do it. No, I like cleaning ears.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know why you like that so much like that. No. Oh, I'm sorry. You said it feels good when you do it, right? Never. I've never felt that before in my life.

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you used one of the cameras?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are great.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's cool. But like, I've never been like, oh, it feels so great. Like scratching an itch I had or something. Like, it's. It's just like, whatever.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's weird because it like creates the itch and then it scratches it at the same time. You never got enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

You kind of like edge in yourself a little bit.

[Joe Sanigato]

Kinda sorta yucky.

[Frank Alvarez]

Speaking of food, though, in the weirdest way possible. And looked up and. Are you okay over there, by the way? I mentioned that omelette thing and you were just like, no, I'm good, I'm good. And pulled up this thing before that we wanted to end the show with. And basically it's this idea that, like, you get a hundred million dollars, but you can only eat one food for the rest of your life. Are you doing it? And it's a. By the way, it's a random food. It's not like you could pick it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Am I eating it every single meal?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's it?

[Mikey]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So wait, it's not random every day?

[Mikey]

No, it's what you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I do the random thing and then that's the one every day.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it wasn't random, if you could pick, what food would you think that you could actually, I mean, the real answer is that nothing.

[Joe Sanigato]

But the real answer is I would get a year into this and blow my head off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Yeah, but like, is there any food that you love so much that you believe that you can have it for the rest of your life?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think that I would like my favorite food. I think, like, it would more be like, what can I kind of make different versions of like, like pasta?

[Frank Alvarez]

You'd be like pasta or sandwich or something like that. Because I guess anything could be a sandwich.

[Joe Sanigato]

This kid's cheating.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying I'm doing that sandwich. You just said pasta.

[Joe Sanigato]

I put the pizza between two bread. That's the same.

[Frank Alvarez]

When we, when we said we were gonna bring it up, he before said burrito. So he's cheating. You're the cheater.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that's cheating too.

[Mikey]

I just think that's the chance you take when you select random. You could just have, you know, a carrot or you can have an omelette and omelets could be different. That's the chance you take.

[Joe Sanigato]

Carrot, bro. If it was carrot, I'm getting four days into this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love carrots.

[Joe Sanigato]

Obviously, if I get something insane like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking, I don't even know.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like, it's not gonna kill me. Yeah, like, you only eat carrots. It's a rat, probably.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you'd be all right.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think.

[Frank Alvarez]

The greatest eyes on the planet though.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but you would have deficiencies and you die.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you would need to. The assumption is that you're also taking supplements to give yourself what you're missing out on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can we not do supplements? Can we just like. We just have them?

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll die.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, I mean, like, can we just like. Let's just be under the assumption the food tastes like this, but it gives you everything you need.

[Mikey]

That's fair. Okay, we can do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

But it won't. Well, where.

[Joe Sanigato]

This isn't a matter of life or death.

[Frank Alvarez]

So what, you're gonna eat a protein packed carrot?

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you not understanding what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

I am fully understanding what you're saying.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm asking why can't we do that? It makes it easier. I would absolutely know. I could die.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? I'll give you this one.

[Mikey]

What?

[Joe Sanigato]

You want it to be the other way. If you get carrot, you're dead in 10 days. No, Frank, you can't. Can you survive off of carrots for 10 days?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think so.

[Joe Sanigato]

You'd be so deficient. You don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

And what, Whatever.

[Joe Sanigato]

A carrot doesn't have protein fiber. I don't even. It probably has fiber, but I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sure you'd be all right.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think so.

[Mikey]

What about everything you eat just tastes like the food you get? So you could still get everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nah, the other one. Because I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's even worse probably. No, I don't think you would. Enjoy. Oh, I have a good one.

[Mikey]

Okay, cool.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, we're still gonna do this one. But imagine that every food. How much Money would it take for every food that you eat for the rest of your life? Just doesn't taste like that. It tastes like something else.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm fine with that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't. That's a weird world to live in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I mean, it would suck.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hamburgers would taste like carrots, but then you could have hot dogs would taste like corn, but then you could have.

[Frank Alvarez]

An apple that tastes like a hamburger.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would be cool.

[Mikey]

So do things just switch? Like, you need to find the thing that tastes like steak.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, that's kind of cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's kind of cool, right? I like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we get old quick.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I had to pick a food, like, if it was my choice, it would probably be crab legs. I'd be dead in a week. Because I think there's a lot of cholesterol in crab legs.

[Joe Sanigato]

You would eat only crab legs?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, Colossal king crab legs. Hell yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like they're not satiating enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

You haven't had enough of them, brother. I have satiate my appetite.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. All right, so let's do it. So Anne has a random food generator.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think my answer to this question is no, by the way. I mean, I'm still gonna do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you're gonna play the game because you're a fun person. Yeah. So I'll just say this. If the answer was cheese.

[Mikey]

No, this is. We're gonna select the foods now, I'd.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be happy, but I would also not make it very long.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cheese has protein. It has, like, digestive enzymes. Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

And it's got an expiration date on you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, certain cheeses can age for years.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I meant, like, it'll kill you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you just eat cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's true. All right, so Joe's. This is Joe's first. So for the sake of the game, you're doing it or do ants first? Ants. Let's see what yours would be.

[Mikey]

I'm doing it, too. All right, here we go.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you do it? Would you do.

[Mikey]

Depends what mood I'm in, honestly. But I'll do it for. I'll do it for here. Okay, this is mine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Panzanella salad.

[Joe Sanigato]

What the fuck is panzanella salad?

[Frank Alvarez]

What is that? Is that like escarole?

[Joe Sanigato]

Hold on. Look up.

[Mikey]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Look up panzanella salad.

[Mikey]

I'll be honest. Already not happy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, no, no. I mean, there's a meat in there, yo. A salad's probably not a bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, because you can.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can mit. You could just like, other.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. Well, that's What I'm saying about sandwich panzanella is. What is that? Tomatoes, cucumber.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yo, this is probably not a bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I think we had this.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's a meat in this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm. I'm in 4 cups cutting tomatoes of.

[Joe Sanigato]

Somewhat dry cucumber, basil, onion.

[Mikey]

I got no meat.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that sounds delicious.

[Mikey]

This is okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, this is okay. You'll be able to live for a long time with that.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you know what? The thing is, too, with this, you can like, choose to just eat. Eat, like, the cucumbers, right? And just be like, oh, well, now I'm just having cucumbers.

[Mikey]

I got a little mix of things.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, you have a mix. That's not bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a sandwich before, and I'm called a cheater.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's eating that salad. He's not eating any salad in the world.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but what stops him from putting something in that salad as long as it is still technically the rules stop him, right?

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, you saying a sandwich panzanella? That's. Pan means bread. So I think there's some bread in here somewhere.

[Mikey]

I got crusty bread.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that sounds so good.

[Mikey]

Okay, I'm happy with that for a hundred.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so this is Joe's. Joe's food is white chicken chili. This kid gets a delicious fucking meal. What the fuck?

[Joe Sanigato]

Also, chicken was going to be part of my answer. I think that's the thing that you customize really well.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you have chili, you get the sauce, you get the tomatoes, you get the beans, you get.

[Mikey]

That's pretty good.

[Joe Sanigato]

My fiber's up. My fucking. This guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Of course, the Internet wants him to live forever. Why watch what I get? I can guarantee my answer is gonna be dog. It's gonna be like, you get cat food.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, here we go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pad Thai. Love that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Not bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am super in love with that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Not bad, not bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

A good pad Thai. Oh, daddy's hungry now.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I think I could eat a ton of pad Thai.

[Frank Alvarez]

And, like, you can make it spicy some days or it could be mild some days.

[Joe Sanigato]

I like what it spicy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You ever had Tom Yum soup?

[Joe Sanigato]

Tom Yum?

[Frank Alvarez]

Tom Yum.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Unbelievable. It's like a. It's like a Thai soup.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you haven't been watching White Lotus? Have you been watching White Lotus?

[Mikey]

I have not.

[Joe Sanigato]

I did see the clip of that guy saying he likes to get. You know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, there was a clip of that. Saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right, let's do one more. All Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, ants. Ants. Next one is $100 million, by the way, eating white chicken chili and pad Thai for the rest of our lives. Very easy. I mean, it'll be hard.

[Mikey]

Like if Greg did it or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, this is for Greg.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, for Greg. If it's cheese chicken. Delicious.

[Joe Sanigato]

He'd kill himself by the afternoon.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's pretty unhealthy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Chicken pot pie.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's delicious.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can't remember the last time I had a pot pie.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think Becca's making this for dinner tonight.

[Joe Sanigato]

Chicken pot pie. Now this is getting weird. How did it know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Imagine the next one is just like, we see you, Joey. All right, so that's Greg. So what about a meds?

[Mikey]

All right, aed. Here we go. Wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Chicken tenders. Well, it won't have to change his diet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. Wow, what a perfect chicken tenders. And they could only be from Ubereats.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yo, if I got chicken, chicken tenders.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is, like, I'd be pumped with that. Super pumped. But it's also a lot of fried food. Yeah, I'd air fry mine, make it somewhat healthier.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's pretty.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, who's next? Mikey Chicken. Oh, my God. If this is not just a handful of spinach, he's gonna Kiwi.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is weird that it's doing that.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is key. I love kiwi, man. You kiwi guy. You kiwi boy.

[Mikey]

It's all right.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't really love kiwi.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I love.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's probably the most, like, visually appealing fruit.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, he got watermelon.

[Mikey]

Got the worst one.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, Kiwi's way cooler looking.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, the inside.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, you cut open this green ball, and it's just candy red.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, you cut open a brown ball, and it's, like, green and, like, liny. It's cool.

[Mikey]

But, like, I think the surprise color of a kiwi is cooler than the surprise color of a watermelon.

[Frank Alvarez]

What about the surprise color of a dragon fruit? You ever cut open a pink dragon fruit?

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're, like, neon pink.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sometimes dragon fruit is not good.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It tastes like zero.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know why people are like, this is so. I'm like, it tastes like nothing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never had it and been, like, delicious. I've had it and just said nothing.

[Joe Sanigato]

It is. It is what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so who else we got? Zach. Let's see what Zach's gonna eat for the rest of his life.

[Mikey]

Kiwi's the worst one, by the way, so far, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I wouldn't agree with that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Zach's gonna get chicken tenders.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would say I'd be. I'd be pumped, but I'd be dead. Honeydew. Love that.

[Mikey]

That's the worst fruit ever.

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Mikey]

Actually, the worst.

[Frank Alvarez]

No way.

[Joe Sanigato]

The worst fruit is honeydew.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely not. No, no.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dragon fruits. Worse than that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Way worse. You don't like honey?

[Joe Sanigato]

Papaya is worse.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah. Papaya tastes gross.

[Joe Sanigato]

I also think that, like, pomegranate is wildly overrated.

[Frank Alvarez]

I disagree. I love pomegranate.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't, like, dislike it, but, like, I think that people are.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is a bit of a hassle to eat. Like, I don't want to have a fruit that's crunchy because you got to eat, basically, this. The seed, Yo.

[Joe Sanigato]

The seeds in a honeydew. I hate that shit.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's just slimy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ugh.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was the movie where the dude was having sex with a honeydew or a cantaloupe? Good luck, Chuck. With what's his name? Dane Cook. Yeah. The dude was having sex. He'd microwave a cantaloupe and then fuck it.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's true.

[Frank Alvarez]

Crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Doesn't sound like it wouldn't work. Just saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. I mean, we got to see what yours is again. Let's do another one for Anne.

[Mikey]

Oh, I'm going again.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, sausage.

[Mikey]

I'll take sausage.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that is a pretty blank.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, he's gonna take sausage.

[Mikey]

Damn it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Whoa.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a blanket statement. That could be Italian sausage. It could be bratwurst. It could be FratWest. It could be. What's the other one? The other, like, European sausage?

[Joe Sanigato]

Bangs.

[Frank Alvarez]

It could be. Technically, a hot dog is a sausage.

[Mikey]

I got hot dog, deer, chicken, turkey sausage.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's right. The meat could be anything. Remember we had that rabbit sausage that time for your birthday dinner?

[Joe Sanigato]

Was that rabbit sausage?

[Frank Alvarez]

That was really good. All right, one more for Joe.

[Mikey]

All right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Having fun?

[Frank Alvarez]

I am having fun. Onion rings.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm gonna blow my head off.

[Frank Alvarez]

He'll be dead.

[Joe Sanigato]

I hate onion rings.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good. Joey got white. Well, that's what you get. You had white chicken chili, now you get a side.

[Mikey]

That's tough.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now I got a side of onion rings.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll say this. Onion rings. Way better than French fries. As a side. Way better.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you saying that to just, like, rile people up?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm saying that you think that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Onion rings are better than French fries.

[Frank Alvarez]

A million times out of a million.

[Joe Sanigato]

And. Please, I need something as.

[Mikey]

No, you can't. You got to be in the mood for onion rings, at least.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm always in the mood for onion rings, brother. Fries are overrated.

[Joe Sanigato]

That is so crazy to say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why?

[Joe Sanigato]

That you think onion rings are better?

[Frank Alvarez]

You get more flavor with an onion ring than you do a french fry. And they're cool rings.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's so wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

How is that wild?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know. It's just. To me, that's bananas. It's crazy.

[Mikey]

Better than every fry.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say, personally, you can season fries. Yeah. But you still. You can't. You can also season onion rings to make them even better. You get the flavor of the onion.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's too much. You like blooming onions, too?

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't had one in God knows how long.

[Joe Sanigato]

Blooming onion is the craziest invention. The fact that that's served as a meal is bananas, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know someone that, like, went, this is a true story, where they were, like, hungry, and they, like, ordered two bloomin onions from outback, and just, like, that was their meal. And then they got through the first one, and they were like, I probably shouldn't eat the second one. And they, like, gave it to their neighbor or something like that. But I know that they definitely ordered two.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now, I don't know who's crazier, the person who just eats a full blooming onion or someone who's a stranger accepting it from a stranger. Hey, I was gonna eat this, but I'm full off my first onion.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, I understand. I see the value of fries, and I understand that there is a. There is a hierarchy to fries. Waffle Crinkle cut. Shoestring Steakhouse. You know, personally, though, you'd rather I'm getting an onion ring over a fry any day.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let's see what Frank's side is.

[Mikey]

Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Last one. Tart. Tart. What is that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Looks like pizza.

[Frank Alvarez]

That looks like pizza.

[Mikey]

I think the site messed up the words. I think that's just pizza.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think tart Taffen tart tatin.

[Mikey]

I think you got pepperoni pizza.

[Joe Sanigato]

Plug that into.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't hate that. I will be dead quick. Tart tatin. Oh, it's a pastry.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pastry.

[Mikey]

Oh, the site just got its things.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's the fuck?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that looks like. It's like an upside down, like, pear thing. I think I've heard, like, go to the ingredients. It's like a. It's like a dessert. It's savory. I think it's pear. And they, like, cook it and caramelize it or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

That looks delicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's his name? Gordon Ramsay made this once. He's like, alright, you fucking dog. Here's how you make the world's best tartatan. All right, Fuck it, baby. So there's apples. I don't like cooked fruit, though I will say that that's not bad. I hate cooked fruit.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bet you really. Bet you wish you had an on your ring.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can't have it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can't have a tartan, bitch.

[Joe Sanigato]

Even though it existed until now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Anyway, there you have it, folks. That is all for this week's episode. Frank and his bull balls will be back.

[Frank Alvarez]

The bull balls might not make it back. I will be. Hopefully.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right. Where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank Alvarez885 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez and all the former of social media. Then go check out the Patreon, patreon.com the basyard and the basement yard on all forms of social media so you can come hang out with us and live the dream.

[Joe Sanigato]

You guys can follow me at Joe Sanigato. Go follow the show at the basement yard on Tik Tok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time.

[Mikey]

Yeah, bye.