#498 - The Morning Routine

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard - Episode #498: The Morning Routine

Introduction In Episode #498 of The Basement Yard, hosted by Joe Santagato of Santagato Studios, Joe and co-host Frank Alvarez dive deep into their recent European adventures, explore the concept of morning routines, and engage in their trademark humorous banter. Released on April 14, 2025, this episode offers listeners a blend of travel stories, philosophical musings, and light-hearted exchanges that capture the essence of The Basement Yard.

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1. Returning from Europe: Travel Tales and Cultural Observations The episode kicks off with Joe and Frank reflecting on their whirlwind trip to Europe, which included performances in Glasgow, London, and Dublin. Their discussions paint a vivid picture of the cities they visited, the local culture, and the memorable experiences they had.

• Glasgow and London Performances:

  • Frank (00:54): “We had three shows in three different countries. First stop was in Glasgow, Scotland, and then we went right over to London.”
  • The hosts express enthusiasm about performing abroad, noting how the atmosphere in European cities like Glasgow and London differs markedly from what they're accustomed to in the U.S.

• Dublin and Guinness Factory Visit:

  • Joe (05:02): “Do you think we had a good time there?”
  • Frank (05:27): “We went to the Edinburgh Castle and there was, like, this was built in 1130.”
  • The duo shares their excitement about visiting iconic sites such as Edinburgh Castle and their immersive experience at the Guinness Factory.
  • Joe (33:07): “We went to the Guinness factory, which was amazing. If you guys are ever out in Dublin, go to the Guinness factory. It's like Willy Wonka and the Guinness factory.”
  • They describe the vibrant environment of the factory, complete with colorful displays and the interactive experience of pouring their own Guinness.

2. Pub Culture: A Comparative Study A significant portion of the conversation delves into the differences between European and American pub cultures, highlighting the social norms and behaviors observed in places like Ireland and the UK.

• Socializing and Atmosphere:
  • Frank (35:33): “The pub culture out there is very different. Americans, like, when you drink, you drink to go. Over there, it's very casual. For lunch, they'll have a pint or two and then go back to work.”
  • The hosts appreciate the relaxed and communal atmosphere of European pubs, where enjoying a drink doesn't necessarily spiral into excessive drinking.
  • Joe (36:03): “I also just love how, maybe, there are so many women outside the Irish pubs drinking beers. Because I feel like that's not something you really see.”
  • They contrast this with the more solitary drinking habits often seen in America, noting the inclusivity and social engagement present in European settings.

3. Morning Routines: Hypotheticals and Realities Transitioning from their travel stories, Joe and Frank engage in a lively discussion about morning routines, inspired by the broader topic circulating on social media platforms.

• Time-Travel and Morning Routines:

  • Frank (09:00): “I would like to hang as myself. Like as a 6-year-old, you know.”
  • The conversation takes a whimsical turn as they ponder what their ideal morning routines would look like if they could time-travel or drastically change their daily habits.
  • Joe (12:01): “Have you ever done a cold plunge?”
  • They explore various morning practices, from cold plunges to unconventional skincare routines like rubbing banana peels on the face, blending humor with genuine curiosity about health and wellness trends.

• Celebrity Routines and Societal Pressures:

  • Frank (54:49): “Because there is less pressure on me as a man to age. So, like, that is a real thing.”
  • A segment of their dialogue touches on how societal expectations influence personal grooming choices, particularly the differing pressures faced by men and women regarding aging and appearance.

4. Food Adventures: Irish and British Cuisine Food remains a central theme as Joe and Frank recount their culinary explorations across Europe, providing humorous takes on traditional dishes and their personal preferences.

• Irish Breakfast and Local Specialties:

  • Frank (31:00): “Black pudding, which is like pig's blood and stuff, and then white pudding, which is just like fat and animal balls.”
  • They discuss the richness of traditional Irish breakfasts, appreciating the variety and uniqueness of the dishes, while also poking fun at some of the more unusual ingredients.
  • Joe (32:55): “How old those places are. And that's the thing that is so cool about Europe too, like, and why you...”
  • Their enthusiasm for Irish cheeses and other local delicacies underscores their appreciation for authentic European flavors, even as they humorously critique certain culinary practices.

• Cultural Misunderstandings and Anecdotes:

  • Frank (43:08): “I just think it's a big part of the breakfast, dude.”
  • The hosts share amusing stories about misunderstandings and playful thefts of syrup at American chains like Cracker Barrel, indulging in nostalgic reflections on family and food.

5. Reflections on Fame and Public Recognition Towards the episode's conclusion, Joe and Frank reflect on the unexpected recognition they received during their European tour, discussing the surreal experience of being recognized in foreign cities.

• Experiencing Fame Abroad:

  • Joe (73:45): “What that felt like. It's a crazy feeling, honestly. And I just wanted to say thanks. It was really cool.”
  • They express gratitude and astonishment at the positive reception from European fans, highlighting how widespread the impact of their work is.

• Sociocultural Perspectives:

  • Frank (55:07): “Because there is less pressure on me as a man to age. So, like, that is a real thing.”
  • The conversation subtly weaves in observations about cultural differences in attitudes toward aging and self-care, adding depth to their light-hearted exchanges.

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Notable Quotes:

• Frank Alvarez (00:33): “No, you're gonna look like this.”
• Joe Santagato (05:02): “How many Guinnesses do you think that you had?”
• Frank Alvarez (09:00): “I would like to hang as myself. Like as like a 6-year-old, you know.”
• Frank Alvarez (33:07): “We went to the Guinness factory, which was amazing. If you guys are ever out in Dublin, go to the Guinness factory. It's like Willy Wonka and the Guinness factory.”
• Frank Alvarez (54:49): “Because there is less pressure on me as a man to age. So, like, that is a real thing.”

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Conclusion Episode #498 of The Basement Yard offers a rich and engaging exploration of Joe and Frank’s European escapades intertwined with musings on morning routines and cultural observations. Their dynamic interplay, marked by humor and genuine reflection, provides both entertainment and insightful commentary for listeners. Whether reminiscing about soaking up the pub culture in Dublin or contemplating the hypothetical benefits of time travel, Joe and Frank deliver a memorable episode that resonates with both avid fans and newcomers alike.

For those who haven’t yet tuned into The Basement Yard, this episode exemplifies the podcast’s ability to blend personal anecdotes with broader societal topics, all while maintaining an entertaining and relatable tone.

Transcript

[Joe Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back to the f. King basement yard.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had. I had a. Yeah. You know, you haven't done the accent.

[Joe Santagato]

In a little bit. Now that we've been.

[Frank Alvarez]

No one. No one cares if I do it at home.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I think I've probably annoyed my family with it at this point.

[Joe Santagato]

See, that's shocking because I didn't think that you ever could ignore anybody.

[Frank Alvarez]

You heard that shit?

[Joe Santagato]

I heard a gasp on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You heard the gas and gasped. I am. I am gassed. Gasped.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know if that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am aghast.

[Joe Santagato]

You are aghast.

[Frank Alvarez]

Aghastly.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't make this about Pokemon. I'm sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's always about Pokemon with me.

[Joe Santagato]

We just got back from Europe two days ago, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Why are you saying that? Like, really, like a day and a half ago?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't know what time, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

What time did you like, walk into your place?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. What time did we land? Like 4:30 or something?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, we landed at like 3:20.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh. Then I probably got home. I got home in an hour and 10 minutes.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not too bad. Yeah. We're back. The boys are back. We. We had a really successful.

[Joe Santagato]

The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thin Lizzie, I think sings that.

[Joe Santagato]

Thin Lizzie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thin Lizzy.

[Joe Santagato]

Who is she?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who is she? Why is she so thin? Is she okay? Get this. Get her fucking point. Yeah. So what Joe is referencing is while we were in Europe, we. We had three. We had several shows in three different countries. Mm. First stop was in Glasgow. Glasgow, Scotland. Scotland.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and then we went right over London. Fucking down it. Fuck off. Yeah, and then three shows there.

[Joe Santagato]

Had a great time there.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then we ended up in Dublin. Orland. Yeah, I'm still working on that one. That's the only one. But it's tough. You scared me, Joey. Scared me into practicing because as soon as I practiced the Scottish accent and I think I got it pretty good.

[Joe Santagato]

That's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, just like, give me something to say, hey, how are you? See, but like, give it like something with like, hey, how are ya? Like, it's not great, but like, while it was there, it was better, I think. I think.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's the air, I think. The air and the ground.

[Joe Santagato]

Blame the air in the ground, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, Scotland, how are ya? Yeah, we had a fucking proper time in Scotland.

[Joe Santagato]

How many Guinnesses do you think that you had? We also had a Baby Guinness shot for the first time. Those are delicious. Those are delicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

And the reason they call them baby Guinness is because they look like a little Guinness. Baby Guinness, I would say. Yeah, A couple dozen. Oh, he's gasping over there.

[Joe Santagato]

Love it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, I've always love this stuff, you know? It's so fucking funny. Fucking funny.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Frank, why does this upset you? I didn't like Guinness when we were 19.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let it go.

[Joe Santagato]

It was over 10 years ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

Even a couple years ago, when we were recording episodes of the Basement Yard Podcast, which you could find everywhere, you would openly say, I don't like Guinness. It's. It's gross to me. And you know what? I'm not gonna give you.

[Joe Santagato]

What do you want out of this interaction?

[Frank Alvarez]

Nothing. I'm not. That's why I literally was just gonna say, I'm not gonna give you too much shit because I understand our palette changes as we grow up and we experience the world. I. I do. That's what I'm saying.

[Joe Santagato]

There's no need to bring it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I brought it up, bitch. Now what? I said I liked it.

[Joe Santagato]

And then you're like, you didn't like.

[Frank Alvarez]

It 10 years ago. I think it was just a decade.

[Joe Santagato]

Ago you said you didn't like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey, you and I need to hold each other accountable. So as we grow up in life and we like things that we previously had not liked, we're gonna bring it up. So you've done this to me, too.

[Joe Santagato]

You like the same things that you've liked since 2009.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then there's some other stuff that I've also liked, too.

[Joe Santagato]

Which ones?

[Frank Alvarez]

Watches. I like watches. I used to make fun of watches.

[Joe Santagato]

It's true.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to make fun of them. But see, I grow. I blossom into this beautiful butterfly that you see in front of you.

[Joe Santagato]

So you're allowed. But I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you are. That's what I just said. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna give you too much shit.

[Joe Santagato]

But you gave shit. We gave me shit on a platter.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, so we took the red eye into Edinburgh. Am I saying that right? Because it's not pronounced. It's Edinburgh. It is. It is spelled Edinburg.

[Joe Santagato]

Edinburgh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I think the GH is just like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not like girl. And then some of us, it was a little tough on some of us, you know? I can't sleep on planes. You. I barely slept, so we were pretty tired. Best way to stay awake was with a couple Guinness.

[Joe Santagato]

A couple. A couple of guys and Seen a castle, too. Loved the cast.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was a big. There.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude, I can't even. We went to the Edinburgh Castle and there was a, like, chapel on the grounds, and there was a sign outside, like, this was built in 1130.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's old.

[Joe Santagato]

How is that even a real year? You know what I mean? Oh, and then when we were in Dublin, we saw the book. They're like, this book is from 800. I'm like, that doesn't even sound.

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense because, like, before, like, 800. I'll be really honest with you. It's hard for me to conceptualize things before the year 1900. Like, before 1900. It's like, this is an ancient relic.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, it's hard for me to realize that and conceptualize that now. You're going another 1100 years prior the year 800.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a joke.

[Frank Alvarez]

And who's keeping track of years at that point?

[Joe Santagato]

There were people, like, scribes or.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but I don't think they were just like, oh, welcome to year 801. I think they probably can, like, carbon date some of the things.

[Joe Santagato]

No, they had calendars then. The Mayan calendar was, like, old as hell.

[Frank Alvarez]

In the Mayan. Amongst the Mayan people. Yeah. I don't think they were, like, in Scotland. They were like, what are the Mayans saying the year is?

[Joe Santagato]

So you're saying that no one was keeping track of the days? Of course.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure they were, but they probably were all scattershot. They were probably, like, over here was one day, over there was another. So they've had to, like, kind of try to, like, loop it all together.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't even know what you're trying to say. Are you saying, like, the years are completely off?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm saying they might have been off, like, the way that they had kept time and, like, tracked it. But, like, now, because of, like, oh, this happened. They say, this happened in this year, and this happened in this year. So it probably happened in this year. And they can use carbon dating.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that you're just trying to, like, make yourself understand it. So you're like, there's no way they got it right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Which is not fair.

[Frank Alvarez]

Before 1900, everyone was stupid, in my opinion. Like, there were no smart people.

[Joe Santagato]

How many are there now?

[Frank Alvarez]

Good amount. You know us well. Well, what?

[Joe Santagato]

That was a hot start. Us.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think there are smart people, but, like, you've never thought of, like, if you were put in, like, the Wild west, you wouldn't like, rule the town because of how smart you are. We just talked about this.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, like today, if you put me in the wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, if you, like, time traveled back to the wild west or, like, the Medieval Times. Dude.

[Joe Santagato]

No way. Frank, are you insane? You in the Medieval Times, Will, you're just the smartest guy in the world. What are you gonna do? Dude, these people fight each other with swords. What are you gonna do in that situation?

[Frank Alvarez]

You give me some time. I think I'd be.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, they had poison back then. People were getting poisoned.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, because they. Well, they had food testers, right? So they'd be like, yo, chew my food. They don't die. I'm good. You know, Also, I prepare my own food.

[Joe Santagato]

How do you plan on taking over the town in a medieval village?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you have to be a good fighter. I would bring a lighter with me.

[Joe Santagato]

You would bring a lighter?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd bring a lighter with me.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so you're walking into a time machine.

[Frank Alvarez]

So. Yes, that's what I just said. Like, your time machine displaced.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'd bring some stuff with me. I'd bring a lighter. Yeah, I would bring.

[C]

They'd probably kill you as a witch immediately if you showed that.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, because I'd be like, yo, you're crazy. I'm all, watch this fire from my hand.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but you can't hurt anyone with a.

[Frank Alvarez]

With a lighter. Yes, I can.

[Joe Santagato]

How?

[Frank Alvarez]

I burn them.

[Joe Santagato]

Frank, if I have a sword and you have a lighter, I'm cutting your head off.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. I don't think.

[Joe Santagato]

You don't think that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think so.

[Joe Santagato]

You're like, oh, I have a lighter. I could just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Or bow and arrow.

[Frank Alvarez]

You didn't even ask me what else I was bringing. I'm bringing a handgun with a good amount of ammo.

[Joe Santagato]

But you did. With a good amount of good. Have a handgun.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll go get one. If I know, like, oh, tomorrow I'm going in this time machine. I'm bringing a handgun with me.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and I'll bring a backpack filled with ammo, a couple lighters.

[Joe Santagato]

So you're just going back to raise hell?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd be like, yo, oh, yeah, Bang. Now what?

[Joe Santagato]

I wouldn't even want to take over a village. Like, if I had a time machine, I don't think I would go back to, like, medieval times or, oh, I wouldn't either.

[Frank Alvarez]

But if I had to, would you.

[Joe Santagato]

Rather go in the past or in the future?

[Frank Alvarez]

Past.

[Joe Santagato]

But where would you go?

[Frank Alvarez]

So here's the question. There's so many questions I have.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, there's one question that came from the question person, the question asker, and then you're supposed to give an answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have questions that will dictate my answer. Am I in my current form and is my at the time version of me there or is it just like I will take the version of whatever time I am in? So like, so like am I going to go back to third grade?

[Joe Santagato]

You're not gonna look like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, okay, so that's my question.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, your brain will be in your.

[Frank Alvarez]

Body if you don't like you.

[Joe Santagato]

So you would go back in your timeline?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I would, I would, I would do that. One hundred percent, hundred million percent. You wouldn't do that at all.

[Joe Santagato]

Go back to like when I was like 16.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean 16, six, whatever you want, you can 20, you know, like last week you could go back, you know, like it doesn't matter but like.

[Joe Santagato]

Right, but you could also go like way back and like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but then I'm just like a normal person in like the 1930s. What is cool about that?

[Joe Santagato]

So why, why would you, so where would you go?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd like to hang as myself. Like as like a 6 year old, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

You want to put your 33 year old brain into a 6 year old?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And then do what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Have a really fun time.

[Joe Santagato]

All your friends are six? Frank, this is weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't care about other hanging out with other people.

[Joe Santagato]

So what are you gonna do? You're not even allowed out.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna play with my toys. What do you mean? I'm gonna take your brain, put it.

[Joe Santagato]

In a six year old so that you have a bedtime and then, and then you're gonna play with your toys.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would like to do that, yes. I have all my toys. Play with the toys.

[Joe Santagato]

But you know, I would have the nostalgic effect. Like you're, you're, you're.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would be like, I remember. This is like. Yeah, cuz I still have my current day brain.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, you want to live deja vu.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like live for like a couple days. Not, not too long.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and then I would tell my parents like first of all, dad, come home, right? Let's talk. There's this thing that's coming out called Google, called Apple. Apple had been out at that point. So was Google when we were six. I think so. Right? Say Google, Amazon, Apple, Bitcoin.

[C]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well that's it, that's in the future. I Would tell them about that too.

[Joe Santagato]

I would tell them that above anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would say, I would say all of those. Amazon, Google, Apple, Bitcoin, Uber maybe because Uber blew up. I would say put money into those things as soon as you can. Don't around.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you think? Don't around. This is coming from the body of a six year old, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I think my dad would not take me seriously.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think anybody would. You think your mom would be like, yes, six year old, I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'll be like, I can tell you things about yourself that you don't know that I know yet. You can make that up, yo.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. A six year old could say that to you. Like your daughter could.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but like, it would be real. It would be. I'm not saying like in the future, but like at that time, be like, by the way, I know what's currently going on with you. I know you haven't told us, but like, I'm. I'm showing you I'm wise beyond my years here.

[Joe Santagato]

You've watched a lot of movies.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have too many.

[Joe Santagato]

I love how that's. That your plan is to play with your toys when you're six years old.

[C]

Could do that now.

[Joe Santagato]

It makes sense. Yeah, you could do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it's weird. If I do it now.

[C]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, you'd still be you now in a body of a six year old.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just think it would be cool. And then I would tell myself, are.

[Joe Santagato]

You in school at six? Yeah. Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're in first grade. And then I would tell myself, we.

[Joe Santagato]

Even missed D. Philippi's class.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was last name out there. Now I would also tell myself or my parents, I would say, like, go buy as many Pokemon cards as you can. Go buy as many, like inbox Pokemon games.

[Joe Santagato]

You realize you probably did say this at 6 and they didn't do it. They did not do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're like, okay, I would just like, I would really, like, I'd come out a bajillionaire. Yeah, I would hold.

[Joe Santagato]

So this is 1998, you're saying you go back to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I think. I think we would do pretty well for ourselves.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I would, I would definitely, you know, tell my parents and stuff. Like in three years, stay out of Manhattan.

[C]

There it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that one. I would probably. I mean, your parents weren't in Manhattan. True.

[Joe Santagato]

So I say spread the word about the island.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, then. So you think that people are not gonna listen to me about Apple, Google, Uber, Amazon, And Bitcoin. Yeah, but they're gonna listen to you about an oncoming terrorist attack that kills 3,000 people.

[Joe Santagato]

I'll be honest with you. First of all, I'm not going back to 1998. If I had a time machine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, let me guess, let me guess. You're going back to 2013 so you could see 21 year old Joe and just be like, hey, stop shaving your head. Let's talk about the future. Also, Young and Restless is not a good clothing brand investment right now. You should probably stop wearing it so much.

[Joe Santagato]

Reckless.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did. I. Yeah. Soap opera.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a soap opera.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Young and the Restless. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you watch soap operas? Is that a thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay.

[Joe Santagato]

I was gonna say that's bananas. But I wouldn't go back in my life. I would go way behind that.

[Frank Alvarez]

To do what?

[Joe Santagato]

See what it was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you can read about what it was like. Why do you need to see it? And Frank, you already lived this.

[Joe Santagato]

You can just remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I forgot it. Your fault. And I'm setting myself up for the future. So are you going to be like, hey, young Warren Buffett, let's talk about, like, who I am to you and like, how I can, like, once I'm born in 1992, how we can work together.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I think if I had the choice to be like, you can go back to any time in life and experience that for a certain amount of whatever. Like, I wouldn't pick shit I've already experienced. Why would I do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Crazy. Because you want to re. Experience it.

[Joe Santagato]

Re.

[Frank Alvarez]

Solidify the memory in your brain, the feeling. So you could pass that along to future generations, whether they be your children, your grandchildren or whatever, instilling that sense of love and playfulness and childlike wonder, remembering what that is, reconnecting with your roots, and then give that to the next generation in order for them to maintain that is something that is wildly valuable.

[Joe Santagato]

Do that without a time machine. You can remember everything. You remember your childhood.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember a lot, but there's a.

[Joe Santagato]

Lot, Frank, you remember everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember a lot. Yeah, but there's a lot that I.

[Joe Santagato]

Don'T remember, and that's okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just think that it is exceptionally more important back at a time, by the way. By the way, when companies were way more playful with their marketing and stuff. There is a way to go back. Maybe I go back and I buy some green ketchup. Maybe I go back and, you know, talk to Robert Downey Jr. And I give him the push to accept the iron Man Role. Maybe I go back and I, I, I lend a helping hand to a young Christopher Reeve before he rode on that horse. You know, just. Just do as much good as I can.

[Joe Santagato]

These are all before you were born? No, Christopher Reeve.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that happened in, like, 95.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

So when you were three years old, you're gonna help him off the horse?

[Frank Alvarez]

I would just say, hey, don't get on that horse, Mr. Reeve.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's so much that I could do. The opportunities, the possibilities are truly endless. And we started talking about this because we were talking about a book from 1400 years ago. Nope. That's not right. 1200 years ago.

[Joe Santagato]

Would you go back in your life, or would you go back a different time? Or in the future?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you wouldn't go back before Twisted Tease existed.

[Joe Santagato]

Right?

[C]

Right. I think it'd be cool to experience something that you have. Like, you're just sitting around looking, but.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God, the first time you went to Disney, dude, you're fucking.

[Joe Santagato]

Actually, yeah.

[C]

I mean, that's a. I mean, think about it.

[Joe Santagato]

Why that's not interesting to me.

[C]

I mean, I gotta go see the pyramids being built.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, that would be super cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, imagine, whoa, they're being built. But.

[Joe Santagato]

But, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But now what? You're gonna come here and tell people and no one's gonna believe you?

[C]

It would be cool.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but we're going back to the same thing. You can make the same argument that you're six years old and you're like, oh, invest in Uber. And your mom's gonna be like, what the fuck is that? Yeah, it's a car. It shows up and it's. It's on a phone. She's like, I don't know what any of that means.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ant.

[C]

Am I in a. Like, a bubble? And I could watch or I have.

[Frank Alvarez]

To be on the show? Yeah, sure, if you want.

[Joe Santagato]

You're in a bubble.

[C]

The time machine, you know? Am I?

[Frank Alvarez]

We're talking. We're talking. What was that word? Westworld here. Like, we got Westworld technology. You can kind of do whatever you want if you want to pay for the service, where you're just like, a silent watcher.

[Joe Santagato]

How about this? You can just. You can go back, but you're like your body, but no one knows that it's you. You understand?

[C]

Yeah, I get you.

[Joe Santagato]

So, like, you could theoretically see yourself in whatever, or you can go back.

[Frank Alvarez]

And be like, mom, dad, I'm your son from the future.

[C]

Yeah, I don't want to talk.

[Frank Alvarez]

Guess what.

[Joe Santagato]

Happens, I wouldn't do. I don't think you get a lot out of that. But imagine you could go back and just know these questions that people have been wondering for so long. And you can go back and like, actually figure. Not figure out, but, like, witness something like. That would be cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't really care.

[Joe Santagato]

All right, that's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't really care. I don't know how we got from Scotland to here because we were talking.

[Joe Santagato]

About how old those places are. And that's the thing that is so cool about Europe too, like, and why you. You know, I guess where we grew up is kind of like. Because things get torn down and built up all the time, so everything's like relatively new. Everything in this. Not everything, but like a lot of the stuff in those cities are from hundreds of years ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And they're very pretty. Yes, they are. But also their infrastructure is also clearly based off of things from hundreds of years ago. Because the plumbing and electric out there was not great.

[Joe Santagato]

It's not perfect. Definitely not. Perf.

[Frank Alvarez]

We lost. We lost power in three straight Airbnb boom, three days in a row. No power. No power. Just because someone plugged in, by the way, like, not like plugged in, like dumb. Did a dumb American thing and like plugged like an American plug into something. It was a legit. Yeah, Scottish plug.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they fuck. It went. We lost power. And then Mikey filmed it. I imagine it'll be available in some capacity, but, like, it was not fun to lose power. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I mean, we didn't lose power for a long time. It wasn't that bad. Yeah, we went through the blackout. You remember the blackout? I Would you go back on a time machine and go experience the blackout again?

[Frank Alvarez]

Why?

[Joe Santagato]

It was kind of fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. I mean, from what I remember, I was actually in Connecticut for most of it.

[Joe Santagato]

I wish I was older for that so that my, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get into trouble.

[Joe Santagato]

Get into trouble. I'm saying I wish I was like 19.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would have been dangerful. Dangerous. Why? That's like a thing. Ruby says that.

[Joe Santagato]

So I said, no, no, no. I'm saying why would it be dangerous.

[Frank Alvarez]

Being a 19 year old in a blacked out New York City for a week? Dude, you would have. You us would have gotten into trouble.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that would have been cool. We played like soccer or something, didn't we?

[Frank Alvarez]

I was. I was in Connecticut for most of the summer, but. Yeah, during the day, but like, bro, at night. Remember there were like. I remember the. The small amount of Time that I was here, there were, like, cops on every single corner because, like, it was pro a story. I had no power for a week.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that was crazy. I was trying. I was taking, like, naps in the middle of the night naps. But, like, my dad would have the car on so we could sleep with AC because it was hot as hell.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't even think of that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It was so hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

I remember when I was sleeping in the middle of night, then the lights came on, I was like, yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, remember, everyone thought it was another terrorist attack.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. When was that?

[Frank Alvarez]

2005, I want to say.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so not that far away. Yeah. I would have. I would have been scared. I. This is such a weird thing that maybe has. It doesn't add to the story at all, but I remember hearing, like, a loud noise outside, which I don't know if that's, like, real or if I'm making that up now because it's been so far, so long since this thing. And hey, Arnold was on the tv and it was Helga Pataky, and she was, like, confessing her love for Arnold or something, and the TV shut off, and I was like, what the fuck? Like, who turned the TV off? And then everything was off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who interrupted my. Hey, Arnold.

[Joe Santagato]

Who interrupted. Hey, Arnold. Great show.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a pretty good show.

[Joe Santagato]

Great show.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sick bedroom that kid had, let me tell you. Not many bedrooms I wanted to have that weren't mine. That was one of them. 100%.

[Joe Santagato]

You loved your bedroom that much?

[Frank Alvarez]

I liked my bedroom.

[Joe Santagato]

Which one? Because you've had three bedrooms.

[Frank Alvarez]

I actually had four in that house.

[Joe Santagato]

So which was your fave?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, my fave was when I was older, like in high school, and I had, like, my own little space, the basement. Yeah, that was fun.

[Joe Santagato]

Go down to the right. You mean to the right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I used to have the one to the left before that.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good time. I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which people apparently think that's crazy. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no one was breaking into your house.

[Frank Alvarez]

But we had a great time in. In Scotland. We went over to England. We had some proper. We had some fucking proper points.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, we did bangers and mash.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't have any bangers and mash.

[Joe Santagato]

I had. I had some sort of banger.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's a banger is a sausage in your mouth.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was just bangers in your mouth. People were banging your mouth.

[Joe Santagato]

I see what you're doing here.

[Frank Alvarez]

We saw. We saw Buckingham Palace.

[Joe Santagato]

Buckingham palace, which was super. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was all right.

[Joe Santagato]

I was expecting more, to be honest. Big Ben blew me out of the water.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big Ben was huge big.

[Joe Santagato]

You listen, people talk about how big this thing is, and they're right, but no one talks about the girth of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

No one talks about how wide and thick Big Ben is.

[Joe Santagato]

Big Ben's a big, thick Ben, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, big guy and shiny.

[Joe Santagato]

Shiny.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do they keep it so clean? Oh, I don't know. What is going on over there. It probably has a lot to do with, like, the crown and stuff like that.

[Joe Santagato]

They're cleaning that, Derek.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cleaning and polishing all, like, the gold over there was, like, polished, brother. It was shiny as hell. And also.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, Big Ben, Big Ben, Big Benjamin.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say, from a distance, you're like, that's just a big clock. You got up close to this thing, and it's just like, this is a big block. It's a big fat bend. Yeah, that was a big old one.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God. Dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude.

[Joe Santagato]

The London Eye saw it from afar.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I get it.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a circle. It's a circle when you're looking at the London Eye. The best. The best part about the London Eye is that if you turn around, you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Could see big, bad Big Ben right.

[Joe Santagato]

There being Big Ben right there.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's pretty.

[Joe Santagato]

The best part.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's pretty big. Yeah, he's big. And there's also just like, a lot of. Just old in that area.

[Joe Santagato]

Spiky fences around Big Ben. You remember that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Big, spiky fences and, like, touching it, I'm like. I'm touching person. Well, because they were. They had to keep out intruders just in case someone. Someone wanted to bend. But, like, you touch it, bro, you fall on that thing, it's done you legitimately.

[Joe Santagato]

If you took someone and threw them on it, they'd be impaled.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Dead.

[Joe Santagato]

They gotta keep Ben safe.

[Frank Alvarez]

So maybe what they're doing is they're polishing the gold.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're looking up at Big Ben and they're like, whoa. And they're just like, keeping the. The.

[Joe Santagato]

What are you doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

They're keeping the fence pointy.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're, like, filing it down and stuff like that. And they're just like, no one's gonna. To get to our friend Ben. No one's gone. David.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a very spiky fence and a very big Ben.

[Frank Alvarez]

They used to kill people by just, like, throwing them on spikes, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It's not. I wouldn't want to have that to happen.

[Frank Alvarez]

No way.

[Joe Santagato]

I, like, touched the fence and I was like, oh, my finger. Can you imagine being impaled?

[Frank Alvarez]

Bro, if you're not from Big Ben, you're not living, dude. No way you land on that. Like, maybe if you land in the water, because there's the River Thames right there.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but you maybe. No way.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, you land on one of those pointy fences. I got it. I got to be really honest with you.

[Joe Santagato]

Be honest.

[Frank Alvarez]

Love a pointy fence. Like, I do, too. Iron pointy fence.

[Joe Santagato]

A dangerous fence.

[Frank Alvarez]

Our fucking elementary school and my high school had those.

[Joe Santagato]

What? It had a pointy fence?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yours did too, right? Very, very. A lot of, like, old schools in Queens have pointy iron fences, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

I remember our fences, but I don't remember them being pointy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah, they were pointy, Brother. Do me a favor. Look up on Google Maps our elementary school. Oh, what, just to prove a point?

[Joe Santagato]

I know what it looks like. I just saying. I just don't remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, there were pointy fences up there.

[Joe Santagato]

I do remember I pushed a kid named Demir, one of our friends, into a fence at a certain point, and they had little sign. It kind of spikes on him. And he chased me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Demir, famously, by the way, never got.

[Joe Santagato]

His paws on me.

[Frank Alvarez]

We, we, we said, like, hey, Demir, like, let's reconnect and talk. Messaged him. Left unread, brother. Absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

Big bang boom.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I tell you what, you know who didn't get Left on red? SeatGeek. Okay? SeatGeek is where you're buying all your tickets, okay? You're going into a live event, going to go see a team, an artist, a band, a monster truck rally. You can get your tickets with SeatGeek. Okay? They have a wonderful interface where it's color coded. So dark green means a really good price for that ticket. And then dark red might want to stay away from that. That's an overpriced ticket right there. But I've been using SeatGeek for years now. It has over 28 million downloads. It's the number one rated ticketing app in the App Store. And there's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, things like that. SeatGeek, though, been using them for years, like I said. And you can save some money. So we're going to save you some money. You want to buy tickets or something? Let's go. My sister just used my code the other day. She went to a comedy show. Yeah. So go download the sea geek. App and use the code BASEMENT2025 for 10% off of your next set of tickets at Sea Geek. Okay, that's any tickets on there, 10% off with that code BASEMENT2025. Okay? So go enjoy that, folks. And we also have fitbod. The good weather is right around the corner. So if you want to get right into shape, you can do so with fitbod. Because fitbod creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and available equipment. Okay. Which is important. A lot of people don't have access to a gym membership or any sort of workout equipment. If that's the case, they can still create a workout routine personalized for your goals. So if you want to put on some mass, you want to get stronger, or if you want to lose weight or thin out, fat loss, fat loss, whatever it is, they can create a workout routine personalized for your needs, which is important. They adapt the workouts, adapt to your growth. So each workout is challenging enough to push you to make progress. Progress. They tell you when to rest because rest is a very important part. A lot of people make the mistake of just working out every single day and burning themselves out. That is not the best way to put on muscle or lose weight or any of those things. So rest is also important and things like that. Also, it's a very educational service because there's over a thousand demonstration videos. So if this is your first time getting into fitness, you have a thousand demonstration videos at the tips of your fingers and you can learn a lot of things through that. So level up your workout. Join FitBot today. Get 25 off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod. Me Basement. That is F I T B O D Me Basement. So get that 25 off your subscription or try the app for free. Fitbot Me Basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

And listen while you're on a personal health journey or you're going to a game or you're on your way to work, why don't you let us join you? Thebasementyard.com thebasement yard what?

[Joe Santagato]

The basementyard.com.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if that's a thing. It's definitely not a thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Thebasemanyard.com the Basement Yard no. What would that even be? Head on over to the basement yard. Slash the basement yard.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean. Patreon.com the basement yard. Let us join you and hang out. We tell you guys about Patreon all the time, so make sure you go check it out. You join that first. Here you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. And that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. They're kind of all over the place, just like I am right now while doing this. So go check it out. Patreon.com the basement yard. And if you can, make sure you actually go to the patreon.com website and sign up, because Apple is onto something and I don't know what it is, but go to patreon.com the Basementyard on your web browser. Sign up and come along for the party. It's going to be fun.

[Joe Santagato]

Come along for the party. Basementyard.com the Basementyard. That'll bring you right to the basement yard.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, I have a question for you. Did you have a proper English prep face.

[Joe Santagato]

While we were out there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. No.

[Joe Santagato]

But I did the last time I was there, and it was great. Toast, dude, is good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I said that I had an English breakfast and an Irish breakfast. I think the only difference is, like, the whole, like, pudding situation.

[Joe Santagato]

What kind? What one's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Black pudding ones, I think. Well, I think they call it different things. Like, I don't. I don't want to get into it and the Irish people will fuck me up. But like white. There was also white pudding on the Irish breakfast. White pudding? Yeah. It's like rice pudding. No, it's white. It's. So there's black pudding, which is like pig's blood and like, stuff, and then white pudding, which is just like fat and like animal balls or some. And I gotta say, the balls were good. They were not the balls, but like the. The puddings that were presented. The presented puddings were delicious. Yeah, I really like them.

[Joe Santagato]

They figured it out, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Love beans too. You know how I feel about beans, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Beans and toast is good. Why do people shit on it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think they on it because it's just like. It's such a strange combination, you know? Like, beans are. And I know we're speaking as filthy dumb, you know, I mean, American beans.

[Joe Santagato]

On a hot dog, that's bread and beans.

[Frank Alvarez]

But the hot dog is the star of that. Yeah, like, the hot dog is. The hot dog is the guardian of the galaxy. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not a side player in the movie, okay? Like, the beans on top are meant to accompany the hot dog, where the beans on toast. It's just like beans on toast.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but that's like a side. It's not like that's your full breakfast is beans on toast.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, that's a That's a big part of the breakfast, dude. Those are both very filling.

[Joe Santagato]

I think everyone gets to shine, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

I agree.

[Joe Santagato]

They have, like, it all spread out.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is also just like a random, like, assortment. Like, who in their right mind would have been like beans for breakfast?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Again, I don't hate it.

[Joe Santagato]

I like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love beans.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But just with everything else, it was just like, all right, this is a strange. And then there were bangers on there. There was puddings on there. Eggs on there. You know eggs. How do you. Was this your first fish and chips that you had proper?

[Joe Santagato]

No, but fish and chips is good. I don't know. What kind of fish is that? I don't even know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cod, I think. Right. And have you ever had fish and chips? Yeah.

[C]

I don't like it.

[Joe Santagato]

Will say the chips out there are better. I think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, cuz they're our potato. Everything of our food over here is trying to kill us.

[Joe Santagato]

I wish I had a dollar for every time you said that while we were there. Frankie would eat everything and be like, this is so good. You know why? Because there's poison in American food.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there. There is it.

[Joe Santagato]

There isn't in it. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's be honest.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm being.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, it just. Everything was just better. And the Guinness.

[Joe Santagato]

The Guinness was great. And we learned how to pour it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, but the G a few times. We didn't split the G a few times. Joey split the G. Split the G once. But like you. You are on a roll for a sec.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know if that's good or bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's probably great.

[Joe Santagato]

Then we got an insight. We went to the Guinness factory, which was amazing. If you guys are ever out in Dublin, go to the Guinness factory. It's like Willy Wonka and the Guinness factory.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it is.

[Joe Santagato]

It's very colorful. There's screens, there's things moving.

[Frank Alvarez]

We walked into one room and I thought we were in Lumen. Like, it was like. It was white.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, everything was white.

[Frank Alvarez]

Very white. Very white. And then there were just like little things to smell. Remember that there was like these pillars. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And there was smoke pillowing out of them. And then you smell them and it's like, that's yeast. And then so there was like, this is yeast, this is that. And then there was this other shit. And he's like, this is like. There was a word for it that I can't remember, but he said barley. No, no, no, it was hops. No, it was the thing that this Is what the guys would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, the guys would come home, it was like the sweetened something. And they'd come home and they were like, sweet. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And like, oh, their wives love them because they smelled like this. And then at the end of it, he was like, which one was your favorite scent? And I was like, the guys.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like the men. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And then we went. And then we had a Guinness. And then. And then they. They do your picture on the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. They do your picture on the Guinness. I just got to say this. We did have a competition on who had the better Guinness for Frank and Mikey.

[Joe Santagato]

Mikey.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mikey. And I won.

[Joe Santagato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I was fully ready to concede. I thought my poor looked like shit. The expert though, the expert, he knows. But I also like, before that I was just like, say it's mine, please. I don't know if he actually listened or if he like legitimately, you know, I guess he's been.

[Joe Santagato]

There was a camera around, so he probably felt like he had.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he might have been tampered with. You.

[Joe Santagato]

You tampered with it. But yeah, no, the Guinness factory was a really good time. And then they have a bar on top of the factory.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like a panoramic view. Awesome.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was really cool. I had like a moment like looking out and just being like, I'm in Dublin. Dublin.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say just as a whole pub culture out there is very different. Like Americans, like when in America, when you drink, you drink to go. You know what I'm saying? Like you drink to get drunk over there. It's like very casual. Like for lunch they'll have a pint or two and then go back to work and just be like, let's, let's do the rest of our day.

[Joe Santagato]

I also just love how maybe this is like. I thought it was interesting that there was so many women also like outside the Irish pubs drinking beers. Because I feel like that's not something you really see.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Cuz Americans were just like, you're a lady here I have this skinny little mini teeny tb. Yeah. Well, it's like, man, you want something? Drink this fucking beer.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. But like. And also there's a lot of guys like out in suits and stuff in the middle of the day or whatever and they're just outside. I'm like, this is so awesome.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like, it is crazy. Just like how not of a party atmosphere it was, you know what I mean? Like, bro, we were there. When we landed in London, it was like Monday Afternoon.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pubs were filled, like. And like, not afternoon. Like, 4pm like, people might have gotten off work early.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It was like, two, one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And like, I'm not even talking filled. Like, inside was filled, inside was filled. And then the street and across the street outside that we need to bring. We do here because we had it.

[Joe Santagato]

During COVID But then it's gone where it's like, you can go into a pub, get a pint, and then stand out on the sidewalk. And they. They make all the pubs with, like, a shelf so you can put your beer right there.

[Frank Alvarez]

And not even. Just. Not even. And not even. Just, like, immediately outside. Like, remember that one we went to before the London show? People were across the street.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Down the block on the corner. And then they bring their glasses back.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is. You know, Americans, we would. We would have taken that shit so quick.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you ever taken a glass from a beer place? I'll tell you someone who has. My mother.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I stole two of them, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

I was like, what the fuck are you doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know an old white woman that also steals, like, glasses and wine glasses from bars. Like, it's just like, a. Who. Not, like, often, but, like, has done it.

[Joe Santagato]

Who?

[Frank Alvarez]

Becca's mom. Becca's mom, Dude. Her mentality, I think it's. She's done it, I think, like, twice. And she's just like, I paid for this. I'm taking it. And it's like, that's the wildest, most American.

[Joe Santagato]

You paid for the thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No, my mom was like, oh, these are really nice. And it had, like, the brewery's logo on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I was, like, taking one. I was, like, taking two is insane. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I think that's. I think after the second time, Becca's mom was just like, I probably shouldn't do that again.

[Joe Santagato]

We walked outside, I'm just hearing cling, cling. I'm like, what the fuck is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I love taking stuff and just saying it's theirs. My dad, when we would go to Cracker Barrel, would steal without exaggeration every time. At least 12 or 13 of the Mini bottles of the Cracker Barrel Syrup.

[Joe Santagato]

Like pancake syrup.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

What is he gonna do with that?

[Frank Alvarez]

You put it on pancakes, brother.

[Joe Santagato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you ever been to a Cracker Barrel?

[Joe Santagato]

I'll be honest with you, I've never been there. I don't know what it looks like. And I always get it confused with Crate and Barrel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Joe Santagato]

I used to think that you would go buy furniture, but there was also food There because sounds sound.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's Ikea and it sounds great. You've been to a Cracker Barrel?

[C]

Never.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It's like, it's called like the like Cracker Barrel Old Country Mill. It's like, you know, like Southern style food where it's just like, you know, grits, fried chicken, you know, chicken fried steak, pulled pork. I don't know. I haven't been in quite a while. I don't think my body can physically handle going back.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it like fast food? Is it buffet?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like ihop. It's like a chain like ihop, but like, not as bad as ihop, but like ihop. You know what I mean?

[Joe Santagato]

IHOP does pancakes. Well.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, they don't.

[Joe Santagato]

They do.

[Frank Alvarez]

I won't say I've never walked out of an IHOP and been like, that was yummy. I've walked out and said like, what is happening in my body could only be attributed to like Robert Oppenheimer.

[Joe Santagato]

It might be something going on with you. I think that pancakes are just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pancakes definitely is something.

[Joe Santagato]

You've had a pancake that tasted different than other pancakes. Pancakes taste the same.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I've had better pancakes. Better like whether they're buttermilk or like people do like whole wheat pancakes.

[Joe Santagato]

But that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying like just a pancake, a regular pancake I've had.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is definitely a hierarchy to pancakes.

[Joe Santagato]

Really? I've never felt a difference in pancakes as they look, with the way they look.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you definitely. Then you're not having enough pancakes.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not having enough pancakes.

[Frank Alvarez]

So then you need to up your pancake game. Because a good pancake and a bad pancake, there is like a kilometer difference between the two.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I don't even know, but I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Forgot what I was saying.

[Joe Santagato]

I did that. Creighton. Cracking Cracker Barrel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Crack Cracker.

[Joe Santagato]

Cracker Barrel.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like the front is like, you could get like, you know, like little, like little trinkets and stuff like that. Like you could buy like a flamingo pot for your front porch. Or you could buy like old timey 1920s bubblegum. Like, it's just weird. And then it's a restaurant bubblegum.

[Joe Santagato]

They sell merch at this place.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And then like in the back, it's like Hard Rock Cafe in the back.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never been. You just gasped. That was crazy. I've never been in a Rock hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like Rainforest Cafe.

[Joe Santagato]

Rock Hard Cafe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Hard Rock, brother. You've probably been To a Rock Hard cafe. Might have been there.

[Joe Santagato]

The Rock Hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe after you saw Big Ben, you went right to the Rock Hard.

[Joe Santagato]

Honestly, Maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you've been to. You've been through a hard Rock Hard too. When we went to the rehab pool party in. In Vegas. Oh, you didn't. Went to rehab pool party in Vegas.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I wasn't a friend to rehab.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know.

[Joe Santagato]

But yeah. No, I don't. Thanks.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, so Cracker Barrels known for their maple syrup.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

And we would go. We. So all the times we, like, drove down to the south to see my family, when my dad would drive us, we would stop at every Cracker Barrel on the way, which, guess how many Cracker Barrels there are on the way to Jacksonville, Florida.

[Joe Santagato]

Hundreds.

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably at least 15. And without exaggeration, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We would stop Cracker Bar because my dad was obsessed. And he would get there and he thought he was running like a Lufthansa heist level fucking racket where he's going in and they're like, he orders pancakes and he's like, bring me five bottles of your syrup. You don't need to, you know. We know. We already know about my five bottles. We already know about my father.

[Joe Santagato]

They're like nips.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're nips. And then they would go and he would. They would bring them and he'd put them in his, like, jacket. And my dad was wearing, like, Adidas tracksuits that had, like, the jacket. Like, the pocket in here was like, mesh on the inside. So the fucking waiter or waitress would come, they drop the bottles, and then my dad would put them in his pockets and they'd come back and be like, how's everything doing? Everything okay? He's like, I never got my bottles of syrup. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And they'd go. And he'd do that another, like, time.

[Joe Santagato]

Why does anyone need that much syrup?

[Frank Alvarez]

My father is clearly diabetic.

[Joe Santagato]

That's so weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he would he just drink them? No, he would put them on his pancakes.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, why would you. But you're in the place where they have the syrup.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know why you need more. I don't know, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

And like, you don't have.

[Frank Alvarez]

But he leave with them. So at his house, we would open his fridge, and there was on the fridge door, dozens of nips of Cracker Barrel syrup. It's so unnecessary how much money next to it. He would have a regular sized jar of it that he would buy. So he would basically get a 2 for 1 special.

[Joe Santagato]

How much money does he think he's saving by dropping these places of syrup?

[Frank Alvarez]

My father. Come on.

[Joe Santagato]

It's unbelievable.

[Frank Alvarez]

We would walk out and he would be giddy.

[Joe Santagato]

Got him again.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because he would think like, get in the car. Get in the fucking car. I pulled one over on them.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Wool over that eyes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pockets were so heavy with these glass bottles of maple syrup.

[Joe Santagato]

They're glass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That the pocket would hang out the bottom, like, elastic of his fucking track jacket. This guy would think, like, I got him. And they would just be like, all right, see you later. Like, they fucking clearly knew.

[Joe Santagato]

That's so crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was also.

[Joe Santagato]

They're probably just like, dude, you're not. Like, we will give them to you if you want. They're free. Just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just ask and we will give you this free maple syrup that we're offering. Oh, man.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never been there, so I don't. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Save yourself the time.

[Joe Santagato]

I love syrup, though, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I do too. But if you had a bowl, like.

[Joe Santagato]

A regular bowl, right? Of like a cereal bowl, but it was filled with syrup and you had a straw. How long does it take? And you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'm dying before I finish that bowl.

[Joe Santagato]

Let's say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's say there's no health repercussions. No health repercussions on. It's still very sweet. Yeah. I put like, real maple syrup. Sweet and like, you know, fake. You know, like Old County Mill or whatever it's called. Old.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, Pearl milling.

[Frank Alvarez]

Something like that. That is like, I can't have that. But, like, real maple syrup. I could probably get a cup or two down.

[Joe Santagato]

That's so crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'd hate myself immediately afterward.

[Joe Santagato]

You ever see videos of people just, like, chugging, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's what I. A bowl of maple syrup is what is in my morning routine now. What? I shoved my face into a bowl of maple syrup.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I see what you're doing. I was like, what are you talking about? Cue man.

[Frank Alvarez]

The basementyard dot com. Thebasement.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't forget to go to thebasementyard dot com.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, everyone. Everyone is talking about this whole morning routine. Ashton Hall Hall. Thank God. I wasn't gonna say what I thought the real last name was.

[Joe Santagato]

Kutcher.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I was going Tate Ashton Hall. It's been everywhere we haven't gotten a chance to talk about because we were in Europe.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Released his morning routine and he's been doing it.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen this guy Josh, always Sends me his videos.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why? I mean, first of all, guy is shredded up. Shredded like a bag of mozzarella.

[Joe Santagato]

Guys, guys shredded huge. Like Big Ben bringing that back. He wait, he wakes up, he tapes his mouth.

[Frank Alvarez]

So have you done that? No, I have not have done anything with sleep before.

[Joe Santagato]

Like a mask or.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I've had to do for. There was like a summer where like my snoring was bad, so I had a mouthpiece.

[Joe Santagato]

Summer.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, honestly. And then it just stopped.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I had a mouthpiece. But like all these like get slim quick schemes of like sleeping with tape over your mouth or something like that, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

There's. There's this thing on TikTok where people have like. It's the Tick Tock shop. So they make a video and they talk about a product. And if they, if people buy through their click. Yeah, they make money. So people just make up the wildest stories. And there was one I saw where it was like they picked a random celebrity and it may have been. It probably wasn't Tom Hardy, but like, they'll do. They'll be like, Tom Hardy is saying that people are getting uglier and this is why.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, hold on.

[Joe Santagato]

And then you tape your mouth, then your jaw. Like they'll show people like a before and after where they're like this. And then the next photo they like, they use tape. Like this is just after two weeks and they're like a hundred pounds lighter.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do we know for sure if Tom Hardy is calling people ugly?

[Joe Santagato]

No, we don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

So how do you know that this marketing technique is not based off truth, Joey?

[Joe Santagato]

Because the whole thing is a fallacy. That's why I'd be afraid to sleep.

[Frank Alvarez]

With the Tom Holland's out here and says all you guys are fat pigs. Yeah, but like, I spoke to Jimmy Kimmel last week and he said everyone is disgusting as hell.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you ever worn one of those nose straps?

[Frank Alvarez]

When I was younger. Like the sticky ones but not the magnetic ones.

[Joe Santagato]

Those are amazing.

[Frank Alvarez]

They just like. Didn't you say you wore one and you could like smell the earth or something?

[Joe Santagato]

Bro, I, I literally, I. I've never had that mux. I've never had that much. I've never had that much oxygen. Why is that so hard for me to say?

[Frank Alvarez]

Still it up. You've never had that much oxygen.

[Joe Santagato]

See, you gotta pause. I've never had that much oxygen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Much oxygen. Much oxygen.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never had that much oxygen.

[Frank Alvarez]

There you go.

[Joe Santagato]

There we go. In my nose. Like I had like. There's like A bendy thing in this thing and it sticks to your nose and it opens up your nostrils like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but like, I don't like. You don't get that thing where, like when your nostrils too clean, your nostrils are too, like, unobstructed. It gets cold up there.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's freezing and I want warmth back in my nose.

[Joe Santagato]

I agree, but I. It's not like that because it only opens up like this part.

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't open up like your sinuses. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

So it like, you know, but I. I like it a lot to have that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah. So he's taping his mouth. He's waking up.

[Joe Santagato]

Waking up at like 3:21am Listen, I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don'T know Ashton at all. I think he's a former NFL player, if that's not mistaken.

[Joe Santagato]

I have no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know that there's a lot of discipline that comes with being a professional. Professional athlete. If you don't need to wake up at 3:00 in the morning, don't wake up at 3:00 in the morning. And if you do, shut up about it.

[Joe Santagato]

4:00Am Wake ups.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like the only people that tell you that they wake up early are the people that wake up early. You know what I like. That's not what I meant. How. That's not what I meant.

[Joe Santagato]

The only [e-mail]. the Basementyard.

[Frank Alvarez]

At the basement Yard oxygen. The only people that like, I'm just gonna stop.

[Joe Santagato]

Should be good because I feel like you were gonna repeat the same thing. What you're trying to say is the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Only people that talk about waking up early are like the people that do it for no reason. You know what I mean? It was just like, I get up every day at 4am now and it's just like, way to go. Way to fucking go.

[Joe Santagato]

But 4am is a little early. He also says he goes to sleep at like 8pm Crazy. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just kind of wild.

[C]

That's what I was gonna say. The same people that say that usually go to sleep at 6:30pm Like Mark.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, Mark Wahlberg's another one. He's like, yeah, I'm up at 3:10 getting it. And he's just like doing, oh, he.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wakes up that early to just pray.

[Joe Santagato]

He does have.

[Frank Alvarez]

He stays prayed up. As he says, stay prayed up. Yeah. There's a video of him praying in his house. And he turns around, he's like, stay prayed up. It's like, come on, mark.

[Joe Santagato]

It is 4am no one's watching.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's better than what he used to do back in his old days. There was some stuff there. There was some stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't know. But anyway, this guy wakes up, he does the face cold plunge thing. I've never done it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. And it's with Saratoga water.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you ever had Saratoga water?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I've never heard of it until these videos.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I've had it.

[Joe Santagato]

Which if I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's expensive water.

[Joe Santagato]

If I'm. This dude, I need millions.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I can imagine off of this video alone, this guy got.

[Joe Santagato]

If some. Some company has to be coming in being like, yo, use our water. We'll pay you this much, and it would be worth it for them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I think I saw something that was just like, Saratoga water. Their. Their sales skyrocketed after this.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Hey, everyone. I mean, all the people parroting, parodying, parodying. All the people parodying.

[Frank Alvarez]

All the people doing a parody of this bought.

[Joe Santagato]

All the people doing a parody of these videos bought a lot of Saratoga water. And it's. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's tough, but, yeah. So he wakes up and he goes to the pool, and he just, like. And then he just does sprint workouts, and he's just sprinting. But he also has, like, a bodyguard that he has with him.

[Frank Alvarez]

God damn, bro. If I. This guy is yoked with a capital. Whoa.

[Joe Santagato]

Whoa. Dude, we just found out Frankie's type.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. I mean, dude, look at this guy. I mean, clearly, whatever he is doing is working. There is a level of discipline that comes with that morning routine. Like, he's also probably eating only, like, kale. You know what I mean?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, he.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't get the whole, like.

[Joe Santagato]

And the banana thing at 8:43.

[Frank Alvarez]

Doesn't rub his face with it.

[Joe Santagato]

He rubs his face with the banana peel, which I don't know. What's the science behind.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no. Is it. Is this being marketed as, like, an alpha male thing? Have the alpha males taken this again?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I don't think so. I think it's just this dude doing his morning routine. And, like, it's just like that. Like, I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is there.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like asmr.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is there science behind the rubbing of the banana peel?

[Joe Santagato]

None that I'm aware of. I didn't look into it. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, honestly, the cold water in the face thing, that's just a. That's an ice plunge. Yeah, that's just an ice bath, but just for your face to tighten up your skin. Right. You know?

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, see, I didn't even know that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Well, that's what. That's what the cold water does. Hot water. Uh. Oh, here we go. So apparently rubbing banana peels on face, it creates glowing skin, reduces wrinkles, acts as a moisturizer, hydrates the skin, helps in collagen production, treats acne, treats sun damage, and reduces under eye dark star. Also, by the way, what website is this from?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, this is just a photo we're seeing. Yeah, I'm good on rubbing a banana on my face.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, if it were to, like, help.

[Joe Santagato]

It is said to tightened, sagging skin brighten complexion and reduce wrinkles.

[C]

I mean, it's not impossible.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think it's impossible. I don't think that rubbing your banana on your face, like, does nothing. I just wouldn't want to smell like a banana all day.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I imagine, because doesn't he do this and then he goes and, like, works out and then showers and stuff and has a day.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, it's not like he's just like, before I leave, you know, rubbing a banana peel on his face. Yeah, here's my thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Mm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Clearly it's working for this guy. Good for him.

[Joe Santagato]

Would you ever get Botox?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, because society has not placed a standard on me as a man to get Botox, because aging as a man is different from aging as a woman.

[Joe Santagato]

What is the. What is the aging as a woman thing have to do with what you just said?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, because, like, there's more pressures on women. I feel I am blessed. My. My male privilege has provided me with the opportunity to not feel a societal pressure in order to get Botox.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I'm saying, would you get it?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't want to.

[Joe Santagato]

Now I'm asking how those things are related.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was making a point. I was gonna. I was on my soapbox, babe.

[Joe Santagato]

I, I. Yeah, I know you're up there.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but, like, seriously, like, I don't. I don't want to. But also, there is. Because there is less pressure on me as a man to age. So, like, that is a real. That is a real thing.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't even. But I'm. I'm like, conf. I'm legitimately confused by, like, what you're saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is confusing about what I'm saying?

[Joe Santagato]

You're saying no, but your reasoning is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, no, because I don't want to. Right. Because I don't feel the pressure to have to look younger.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh. Oh, that's what you're saying. I was like, I don't Know what you're saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

How are you not two and two and two, brother, two to four you.

[Joe Santagato]

If you wanted Botox? Talking about women.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, because of the societal standard and shit like that.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not even talking about that. I'm asking you.

[Frank Alvarez]

My reasoning is because I don't feel pressure, and I don't want to.

[Joe Santagato]

That I'm understanding. But when you started being like, well, there's pressure on women. And I'm like, you're a man.

[Frank Alvarez]

You saw how high I got up there.

[Joe Santagato]

That was actually impressive. Honestly. Sound like Elmo.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just. Here's the thing. What if we get to. If we get to 50,000 patrons, will you get lip injections?

[Joe Santagato]

No way.

[Frank Alvarez]

What about a bbl?

[Joe Santagato]

A bbl?

[Frank Alvarez]

Will you get a bbl?

[Joe Santagato]

Absolutely not. Also, I heard that's a dangerous procedure. People have died. Really? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, what about this?

[Joe Santagato]

You know, people get Botox in their pits, so they don't sweat. Would you do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, because I don't really sweat much.

[Joe Santagato]

Me neither.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not a big sweat man.

[Joe Santagato]

I think if I had a big issue, I would do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

If. Yeah, I mean, I know people. Well, you. You don't sweat much.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no. My pits.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, Your head sweats like that. Can you have Botox on your head to stop?

[Joe Santagato]

See, I don't know. I would be afraid to, like, not have a moving head. You know, I knew.

[Frank Alvarez]

I knew a boy that got Botox and like, he literally was just like, hey, just like that. Hey, if you found out, like, if there was, like, legit signs to come out, it's like, yo, by the way, this banana peel thing is legit.

[Joe Santagato]

Mm.

[Frank Alvarez]

You gonna start?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, why not? I. I eat bananas pretty regularly.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you just write the banana and just. Just kind of bing, bing, bing.

[Joe Santagato]

I do like moisturizing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like the feel that bananas leave on your hand. It's like this. You know what I'm talking about? It's like.

[Joe Santagato]

It's. It's a little.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a little, like, slippery, but, like, grainy. It stops.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know that I've had. You mean by that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I'm talking about? We're like your hand, like, kind of like. But like, it's like, you know, I'm saying.

[C]

I do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you, Ant. I gotcha.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

So what I was going to say before, the thing that pisses me off about this because it's clearly working for him. Good for him. Is now like all the companies that are like posting images and videos of their morning routine, like McDonald's. It was like a bowl of McDonald's Sprite. And like just like, it's just like.

[Joe Santagato]

It's what would happen if you stuck your face into a bowl of McDonald's Sprite.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm coming out looking like a fucking skeleton, like creep show.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like my hair on my face would turn orange.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you think you could really tell the difference between McDonald's drinks and non McDonald's drinks?

[Joe Santagato]

Absolutely not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna say yes. You.

[Joe Santagato]

No way.

[C]

Any other drink? Probably not.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. But like a regular Coca Cola and a fountain. McDonald's for sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Fountain's different, don't they? Also, they put like water in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah, cuz you'll see like the fountain, they'll do like half of it will be like the, the, the, the syrup and the other half will be just seltzer.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that what that is?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, if you look, if you look really closely. That's why on.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen a video of someone like separating.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. That's why like also on a lot of soda machines they have a button that's just seltzer water. You know, which crazy. I gotta tell you, one of the greatest inventions of the 21st modern century has been that big machine that has like hundreds of sodas in it. Oh, the digital one where you're just like, I want Coke and there's 80 different types of Coke. And it's just. But like who's, who's having like peach Coca Cola. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Santagato]

Is that a flavor?

[Frank Alvarez]

I. It's got to be up there. They have a bunch of those. You ever, like. Were you a Vanilla Coke guy? So good.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, Vanilla Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's really disgusting.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I think I've had Vanilla Coke. What are the other Cokes that's been out there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Was like, Coke twist, black, Cherry Pepsi twist, black. Cherry Coke is the best. It's basically just Dr. Pepper. There was like, lime or lemon. Let's see. Oh, we're at the. We're at the official Coca Cola website. Cherry Coke. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think I've ever had Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Vanilla discussing. Get it out. I'll kill someone. Zero sugar. Come on. That's it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, there's way more.

[C]

I could look up the big magic machine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, look up the big magic machine. But, like, I was just a classic Coca Cola guy when they started throwing, like, lemon and, like, fucking, you know, stuff in there.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what I hate with the Tostitos chips that have, like, a lime zest? Gross.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what's the grossest chip I've ever had? They used to make. They were like guacamole flavored ones.

[Joe Santagato]

Tostitos. Yeah, they made a guacamole chip.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were disgusting. Look at all those sodas, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Pib.

[Frank Alvarez]

PIB is just.

[Joe Santagato]

That's. Isn't it.

[Frank Alvarez]

So we have. Okay, so cream soda, Coca Cola. Joey probably come in his pants for that. Oh, there is a peach. I told you.

[Joe Santagato]

There's a Tropical Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is Tropical Coke?

[Joe Santagato]

All right, they're not even trying to hide it. They're trying to kill Orange Coca Cola.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it orange soda?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, why not just go with the classic Fonta or. What was the other one? Crush. Crush, Dude, Slice. Remember Slice?

[Joe Santagato]

Slice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Slice was a good one.

[Joe Santagato]

I liked Slice better.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't know. So. All right, go back. All right, you're. Go back again.

[Joe Santagato]

I hate.

[Frank Alvarez]

One more fucking time.

[C]

I'm trying.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so, Joey, you're going to the movies because this is where I've seen this most recently. I haven't seen this at, like, a restaurant or anything. You're going to the movies.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, I'm not getting soda.

[Frank Alvarez]

Give me. Can you just. Fucking. Fucking. Two seconds. Play around. What I'm telling you is that around Joey.

[Joe Santagato]

What I'm telling you is that I'm getting a slushie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Disgusting. What? Because those are the airy slushies. Those aren't the good ones. You want them. You want the.

[Joe Santagato]

You gotta let it Melt a little.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bit before you go. Slush puppy. You don't want the slushy icy ones.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I don't. I don't mind that. You gotta let it. You gotta let it.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no.

[Joe Santagato]

Whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so you can't get that because the machine is broken. And I would shoot you in the back of the head.

[Joe Santagato]

Which one of these am I getting?

[Frank Alvarez]

So you order, first of all. You go to the front, you get a. You get pretzel nuggets. Duh. And you get a popcorn. And no one knew. You'll get, like, snow caps or something.

[Joe Santagato]

Snow caps? What am I already dead? My grandma loved those.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, you'll get. You'll get cookie dough bites. Cookie dough bites.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or you'll get Mike and I or. Or Mike and Ikes or peanut M M's. Peanut M and Ms. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

All right, honestly.

[Frank Alvarez]

So now you have all. You have your salty, you have your sweet. What are you getting for soda? You're going to this machine. You got to press one of these machines.

[Joe Santagato]

Let me see. Scroll down a little bit. What do we got here?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going Coca Cola.

[Joe Santagato]

The fuck is mellow yellow?

[Frank Alvarez]

They call me mellow yellow. It's basically minute made lemonade.

[Joe Santagato]

The ice pops are good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, Minute Maid. Lemonade is more sugar than I think. Sugar is sugar. Does that make sense? I've never tasted something so sweet. I think. All right, I'm gonna guess. Honestly.

[Joe Santagato]

You already know what I'm gonna.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna guess here.

[Joe Santagato]

Easy, Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna guess here. It's easy. I'm gonna give three answers.

[Joe Santagato]

There's only one, and you know it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Scroll down then, please. I'm gonna say it's going to be. You said you're not getting soda.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I mean, if you're making me get soda.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm making you get soda. Scroll up. I think. I think Joey is going with a Barks.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I am.

[Frank Alvarez]

I knew it.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm getting that root beer.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's getting that Barks root beer. Scroll up, I said now.

[Joe Santagato]

It just. You just want to.

[Frank Alvarez]

There it is.

[Joe Santagato]

Logo. Yeah, I'm getting a root beer.

[Frank Alvarez]

But they have, like, different flavor.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, not vanilla. I'm getting like, classic root beer.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I'm going. If I'm not going with Coca Cola and I decide to be a little playful and fun and naughty. What one you think? Am I going with naughty?

[Joe Santagato]

Scroll down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Would you. Would you get a Dr. Pepper?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not a giant Dr. Pepper guy.

[C]

It's not naughty enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not naughty enough For Me, I need something filled. Oh, you'd get it a high C. I might. Yeah, you might get a high C. I've watched you get fruit punch, baby. That straight red 40 into my veins.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell is pineapple?

[Joe Santagato]

Hi C. I don't know, but that sounds delicious. I love pineapple stuff.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say this.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't like pineapples.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Vanilla hi C is crazy. I love pineapple.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't. I don't like, love them, but I love pineapple flavored things.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, that's so funny you say that because that's how I am with bananas. I love bananas. I don't like banana flavored things at all. Same with orange. Actually, orange is the exception. I love oranges and I often like orange flavored things. But like. Or green apples. Oh, man, you get me going. I love a good green apple. A nice little tart, you know, and crisp and refreshing. But the moment you have green apple flavored something, I'm going to take my head and I'm going to put it into a lawnmower and I'm going to have it going full speed.

[Joe Santagato]

You hate green apple. I know that you hate that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't. I just don't.

[Joe Santagato]

I just hate that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, like, the flavoring is just like. It's not actual Glee Peep. It's not actually. It's not actual. It's not actual green apple flavor. It's just sour. That's it. I just don't like it. But yeah, I think. I think you're right. I think I'm going high C. High sea fruit punch.

[Joe Santagato]

I've gotten a high C at like a Subway before.

[Frank Alvarez]

Eat fresh. I do like Sprite a lot. I haven't had strawberry Sprite. Probably fucking kills me. Yeah. What is lemonade?

[Joe Santagato]

Strawberry shit is so good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's not. Again, this is America. None of this is actual strawberry flavoring. It's just chemicals. It's like, made of like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, dude, duh.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, you go to other. Bro. Did you ever see. When we were in London, we stopped at, like, a convenience store. Have you ever seen what, like, real bottled lemonade looks like and what American bottled lemonade looks like?

[Joe Santagato]

No, dude, look up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like London bottled lemonade or any other country, bro. Ours is, like, yellow or, like, opaque and theirs is, like, clear. Because that's. That's what it is. Like, it is.

[Joe Santagato]

It is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ours is just sugar water lemonade.

[Joe Santagato]

And, like, they're selling lemon water? Is that what you mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, no. Like real lemonade. Is not.

[Joe Santagato]

Say, that looks opaque to me.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, that's. That's not. That's not the one I was talking about. I guess we're not gonna be. It's gonna be too niche to find, so it's not even worth like, looking up.

[C]

Gotcha.

[Frank Alvarez]

But yeah, dude, everything here is just dumpster fuel.

[Joe Santagato]

Second time. Got him.

[Frank Alvarez]

Second time.

[Joe Santagato]

What? The Americans are poisoning us, which is happening.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

We're getting poisoned for sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Joe Santagato]

It's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

We'll have a fun time while we're doing it. Yeah, we'll eat our. Our.

[Joe Santagato]

Just rub a banana on your face and you'll be good.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were told that people, when they go to America, it's like they want.

[Joe Santagato]

To try the American fast food, which is interesting. I feel like that would be the last thing that I would want to try, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

When we were at the hotel in Dublin, we asked the concierge like, oh, like what, what should we try? And he was like, oh, spice bag, blah blah, blah. And he's like, also, you need to try Irish Burger King. We were like, what? He's like, yeah, it's like incredible.

[Joe Santagato]

Mm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, huh, Burger King.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't make any sense, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Dublin also, like, I've. When I was there and then getting home, like, I've like been seeing shit on Tick Tock. It's like a very underrated city for food.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Good food.

[Frank Alvarez]

All the food we had there was great. I tried my best to just get as much like traditional Irish food as I could. You know, stews and pies and big fat pieces. Oh my God. That shepherd's pie I had was crazy. What's up?

[C]

How'd you feel about the London food? Because when I went, I didn't really like it.

[Joe Santagato]

I went to like a really nice Korean barbecue place. That was good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that was good. And then we had like two or three times like, Lebanese, because everything Lebanese food was great when we were there. It was like, stuff legitimately was not open to eat past like 9:30.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Where are.

[Frank Alvarez]

So the options were super limited.

[Joe Santagato]

The shows are tough because it's like you have to order to the green room and you can't really find anywhere to eat afterwards. You can do it in the, in the States because things are open later.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I will say that salad that we had before, one of that London shows was, I'm not even kidding, one of the best salads I've had in my.

[Joe Santagato]

It was unbelievable. I don't remember the Name of where it was, but it was a big fatty.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, it was.

[Joe Santagato]

And it had a lot of shit in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Might have had goat cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

Fantastic. Goat cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, Dublin. That's where we had the good cheeses, yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

I couldn't believe. I could not believe how good these cheeses were. I ate maybe a pound and a half of cheese before I went on to stage. Like, none. I had to remove myself because I was sitting right next to the cheese. I had to remove myself because I was like, I'm gonna eat this whole thing.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like, I gotta get out of here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had to remove myself. The cheese was so good.

[Joe Santagato]

I. I forget whose idea it was to put a charcuterie on the rider, but I was such.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like, you and I, we're just like, let's ask him for charcuterie's so good. Unbelievable cheese, man.

[Joe Santagato]

Anyway, just want to say, you know, this is our first episode that we're recording, you know, after we got back from Europe, but honestly, super crazy to, you know, kind of do that. I know for me, when I like, walked through my door and then I was like, going to sleep that night, I was like, what the hell did we just do? Like, that is. It was so crazy to. I don't know, I. I think even now, like, if we're going to, like, do a show or something, it's still scary to be like, oh, do people still care? Or like, are they going to show up? Or they bought tickets so long ago. Or like, do they remember that the show is tonight? And then going there and getting such crazy support and it was just like in every city there were people who were recognizing us and being super nice to us. Everyone at the Guinness factory was like, super nice to us too. Like, it was just. It was just a wild feeling. And I. And it's. It's one thing for it to happen where you're from, but then to have it happen in a completely different sort of area and then also driving through towns that are not, you know, giant cities or whatever, and then people recognizing you there kinda, that was also weird. It's like, I don't know, it just. It kind of put everything into. Into perspective of how out of control and big this thing is, has gotten. You know, I guess with the help of the Internet, because everyone has access to that. But yeah, just wanted to say, you know, it's. It's. It was really cool, you know, getting all that support from people and all the crowds were, you know, super nice. And yeah, everyone was just super fucking cool. I. It's. It's hard to even imagine or not Matt. Imagine. It's. It's hard to put into words of, you know, what that felt like. It's a crazy feeling, honestly. And I just wanted to say thanks. It was really cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I got nothing that.

[Joe Santagato]

None that. All right. And yeah, just wanted to say thanks. And that is all. You guys can go follow Frank, the Frank Alvarez everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know where to find us.

[Joe Santagato]

You know where check it out. And guys, go follow the show at the basement yard. And like Frank was saying earlier, if you're gonna sign up for the Patreon, do it through, like, a website, not on your phone, because there's like a 30% not through an app.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can go to the browser. You can go to the browser on your phone.

[Joe Santagato]

Ah, okay. So, yeah, do. Do that and then download the app after that. But yeah, so that's all. And we'll see you guys next time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bye.