#500 - Cheers To 500!

Summary

Summary of The Basement Yard Episode #500 - Cheers To 500!

Released on April 28, 2025

Host: Joe Santagato (Santagato Studios)

In the landmark 500th episode of The Basement Yard, hosts Joe Santagato, Frankie, and Ant come together to celebrate this significant milestone with a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and lively discussions. The episode, lasting over 80 minutes, is a testament to the podcast's enduring popularity and the camaraderie among its hosts. Below is a detailed breakdown of the key segments, discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the episode.

---

I. Celebrating 500 Episodes

The episode kicks off with exuberant celebrations as the hosts acknowledge reaching the 500-episode milestone. To mark the occasion, they attempt to drink beer towers, symbolizing their achievement.

• Joey: "Welcome back to the basement yard. Our 500th episode." [00:00]
• Frankie: "500 episodes doesn't feel like it." [02:18]

This segment is filled with playful banter and light-hearted attempts at consuming the beer towers, setting a festive tone for the episode.

II. Dog Health and Vet Visit

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Joey's experience with his dog's health. He shares an amusing yet concerning story about taking his dog to the vet due to excessive licking behavior, which he humorously refers to as a "hot spot" on his dog's penis.

• Joey: "I went back to the vet for my dog because I saw that my dog was, like, licking his penis a lot." [12:30]
• Frankie: "You jerked off your dog." [14:16]

The hosts navigate this delicate topic with humor, discussing the vet's observation and the embarrassing situation Joey encountered during the visit. The conversation delves into the responsibilities of pet ownership and the quirks of canine behavior, all while maintaining a comedic undertone.

III. Pop Culture and Social Media Interactions

The hosts shift their focus to recent happenings in pop culture, particularly addressing the perceived beef between pop stars Katy Perry and Kesha, and Wendy's humorous social media roasts.

• Frankie: "Why is Wendy's always, like, full? You know, we're the Beef Boys and we're all over beef." [51:50]
• Joey: "If you're Katy Perry, I'm going on Twitter and be like, suck my dick, bro." [53:59]

This segment explores the dynamics of celebrity feuds and corporate social media strategies. The hosts express bewilderment over the public's disdain towards Katy Perry's space endeavors, highlighting the absurdity of corporate comebacks on platforms like Twitter.

IV. Alcohol Consumption and Drinking Habits

A recurring theme in this episode is the hosts' reflections on their alcohol consumption habits over the years. They reminisce about their past binge-drinking activities during college and contrast them with their current, more moderated drinking patterns.

• Frankie: "In college, we would play 10 games of beer pong a night. That's a beer in those cups. Two beers in those cups." [73:33]
• Joey: "When you think about it, it's kind of crazy." [73:41]

The conversation seamlessly transitions into a discussion about the societal shift in drinking behaviors, with Frankie noting a decline in alcohol consumption among younger generations. They ponder the future of drinking culture, speculating on the possibility of technological advancements that might change how people consume alcohol.

V. Discussion on Animals and Nature

Interspersed with personal stories, the hosts engage in a light-hearted discussion about various animals, including elephants, snakes, and hippos. They share amusing observations and myth-busting insights about these creatures.

• Joey: "You probably don't feel it, though." [12:01] (Referring to dogs not feeling the removal of their anal glands)

This segment showcases their knack for turning everyday observations into entertaining conversations, further enhancing the podcast's engaging atmosphere.

VI. Reflections on the Podcast Journey

Towards the end of the episode, Joey reflects on the journey of The Basement Yard, expressing gratitude for the support from listeners and the personal growth experienced through hosting the podcast.

• Joey: "When I started the podcast, I thought of it as a thing that was very supplementary to what I was doing at the time." [80:12]
• Frankie: "We’re doing it together." [80:29]

Frankie and Ant echo these sentiments, emphasizing the collaborative effort that has sustained the podcast over 500 episodes. Their heartfelt acknowledgments underscore the podcast's community-driven success and the strong bond among its hosts.

VII. Conclusion and Future Endeavors

The episode concludes with playful exchanges and plans for future celebrations, hinting at more comedic antics and memorable moments to come.

• Joey: "Thank you guys so much for being around for 500 episodes. Hopefully, you're around for 500 more." [80:12]
• Frankie: "Next time we'll do this with vodka." [78:16]

The hosts sign off with enthusiasm, leaving listeners anticipating the continued evolution of The Basement Yard.

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Notable Quotes with Speaker Attribution and Timestamps:

1. Joey: "Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Our 500th episode." [00:00]
2. Frankie: "500 episodes doesn't feel like it." [02:18]
3. Frankie: "You jerked off your dog." [14:16]
4. Frankie: "Why is Wendy's always, like, full? You know, we're the Beef Boys and we're all over beef." [51:50]
5. Joey: "If you're Katy Perry, I'm going on Twitter and be like, suck my dick, bro." [53:59]
6. Frankie: "In college, we would play 10 games of beer pong a night. That's a beer in those cups. Two beers in those cups." [73:33]
7. Frankie: "We’re doing it together." [80:29]
8. Joey: "Thank you guys so much for being around for 500 episodes. Hopefully, you're around for 500 more." [80:12]

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of celebration, humor, and candid discussions, providing listeners with memorable moments from this milestone celebration.

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Note: This summary intentionally excludes advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections, focusing solely on the core discussions and interactions that define the essence of this 500th episode.

Transcript

[Joey]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Our 500th episode. That's 10.

[Frankie]

It's double five. A five for me, a five for you. So five over here. Five over here. That should be.

[Joey]

Or you do. You do. Five, zero, zero.

[Frankie]

So this correct?

[Joey]

Yes. For the audio listeners, you have no idea what's going on?

[Frankie]

No, no, no. It's our 500th episode.

[Joey]

Also for the audio listeners, you can't see this, but Frankie's dream has come to fruition. We have two big fat hours.

[Frankie]

I don't know if it's my dream.

[Joey]

This thing's coming out like piss.

[Frankie]

Yeah, look. I mean, this is a. I think this also speaks to the level of hydration that we both regularly keep, where yours looks a lot more healthy and mine looks like I am about to die.

[Joey]

Did we run these through like a dishwasher?

[Frankie]

I mean, it's beer. It's alcohol sanitizer.

[Joey]

It's beer. Beer Towers. 500th episode.

[Frankie]

500. Cheers to us. Clink me, dink me.

[Joey]

Throw it in my stink pee.

[Ant]

Wow.

[Joey]

Oh, man.

[Ant]

All right.

[Joey]

Michelob Ultra. That's what you bought. I feel like I'm on a golf course right now. Frank's not drinking Michelob Ultra, but I.

[Ant]

Made myself a vodka diet.

[Frankie]

Yeah. So.

[Joey]

Right, So a vodka diet.

[Frankie]

That sounds miserable. Right before we started recording, we noticed Ant was really sheepishly quiet in the corner over there.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

And then. I know. I just hear the ice clinking in the glass as he's walking over. And it was clear he couldn't not be involved in the celebration.

[Joey]

Had to drink.

[Ant]

Right?

[Frankie]

Had to drink. And you made yourself a vodka and Diet Coke?

[Ant]

Yes.

[Frankie]

That sucks on so many levels.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joey]

You really are 21, aren't you?

[Ant]

I'm a young girl at heart, you know.

[Joey]

No. So AM I, though.

[Frankie]

500 episodes. 500 episodes.

[Joey]

500 episodes.

[Frankie]

That's bananas.

[Joey]

That is bananas.

[Frankie]

This is what I joined in. 200 area.

[Joey]

250 something.

[Frankie]

I thought I had a burp.

[Joey]

Oh, don't puke.

[Frankie]

I don't think.

[Joey]

I don't think we're gonna finish this whole tower.

[Frankie]

I. If we do, this is gonna be the messiest episode we've ever done in our entire lives. Yeah, it's all right. 500 episodes doesn't feel like it.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frankie]

You know what's like, the podcast record of episodes? Joe Rogan. They're at like, 1100 or something, right? We can go there.

[Joey]

That's a long time.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

52 episodes a year.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how numbers Work. I mean, technically, we do double that because we do a Patreon episode every week, too, right? So if we start counting those Rogan. Count your fucking lucky stars, bitch.

[Joey]

Yeah, dude, in 15 years, you might be in trouble.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Yeah. So we got the beer towers. I haven't seen one of these bad boys in.

[Joey]

Couldn't tell you how long it's been.

[Frankie]

A while. It's been a while since I heard.

[Joey]

Oh, my head of high. I'm so glad that I can sing because I've been, like, losing my voice kind of. Because I was, like, sick.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Five days ago.

[Frankie]

So we filmed yesterday, and I made a joke. You sounded a little like RFK Jr.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frankie]

Not because of what you were saying. Yeah, because of what you were saying. Let's make that very clear. Yeah, but just because of how you sounded.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

And, yeah, it wasn't like, Oreos are.

[Joey]

Making your kids autistic.

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. If you feed your. I don't want to do the impression that's kind of up. I'll do it. I'm not gonna.

[Joey]

I already did.

[Frankie]

Yeah, well, he's just like, you know, saying, like, goldfish will turn your kids gay, and then they'll be transgender for New Year's or something.

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, goldfish are a gateway fish to gayness. Let's be honest.

[Frankie]

Are they. They have rainbow ones, so I imagine.

[Joey]

That, like, rainbow fish are cool. Don't even.

[Frankie]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm on. I'm on board, baby. I'm imagining, you know, it's an overrated fish.

[Joey]

The fighting fish. I'm good.

[Frankie]

The hell are fighting fish?

[Joey]

What are those called?

[Ant]

Betta fish.

[Joey]

Betta fish.

[Frankie]

What's a fight? Why did. Why are they fighting?

[Joey]

I had them when I was younger.

[Frankie]

Oh, you mean the actual fish.

[Joey]

What you think. What?

[Frankie]

I thought you meant the rainbow goldfish.

[Joey]

And then what's that?

[Frankie]

They have goldfish. They have a bag of rainbow flavored gold left. Flavored, but rainbow colored.

[Joey]

I'm talking about animals. You're talking about snacks.

[Frankie]

Well, I started with goldfish.

[Joey]

I thought you were talking about the rainbow fish. The book with the. With the scale. That's holographic.

[Frankie]

Oh, by. I know who you're talking. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I was talking snacks, baby. Oh, I was talking full snacks.

[Joey]

Goldfish are fine. Pizza flavored.

[Frankie]

Good. Ew.

[Joey]

What?

[Frankie]

Let me guess. You're also a freak that likes combos. Like a real.

[Joey]

I don't hate combo.

[Frankie]

Like a real incel.

[Joey]

You Think that first of all, you are not going to pass combos over to the incel community.

[Frankie]

They have incels, have Mountain Dew monster energy combos. We're really fighting to keep beef jerky on our side of the non incel side.

[Joey]

One of us is fighting for that, apparently.

[Frankie]

I love beef jerky. You don't like beef jerky?

[Joey]

It's good, but I don't need it.

[Frankie]

Crazy. You're just gonna give that to the incels willy nilly.

[Joey]

You're about to give combos.

[Frankie]

Combos. They take it. They've taken it. No, I don't like combos. They're kind of gross.

[Joey]

No, I like them. I like them.

[Frankie]

What would you prefer? Combos or those Ritz sandwiches that had the cheese in the middle?

[Joey]

God, you're making me pick a favorite.

[Frankie]

Child here, which you don't have one because you don't have any children that we know of.

[Joey]

I'll say. The Ritz.

[Frankie]

Yeah. That's duh crackers. That's duh.

[Joey]

That dusty cheese is good. Dude, I like that dusty cheese.

[Frankie]

When I put my mouth on that cheese and it evaporates into what can only be described as me. Yeah, I do.

[Joey]

You know that I like to like.

[Frankie]

You love to suck things.

[Joey]

But I don't suck these. You.

[Frankie]

You.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frankie]

I knew it. I knew it. This freak Joey likes it. For those you guys that are audio listeners, he takes his tongue. He makes it sharp. Those you guys. I don't know. Joey's got a sharp tongue.

[Joey]

I do.

[Frankie]

Has quite the butt crack on it.

[Joey]

Does it?

[Frankie]

Yeah. You got a butt crack right down the middle of your tongue. Look at that shit. Look at it.

[Joey]

No, you don't. Look at my ass tongue, my butt tongue.

[Frankie]

But. And then he just like, for some reason, just like uses your strong tongue to just punch the shit out of this fucking cracker.

[Joey]

Well, no, that's not what I was gonna say. I do do that sometimes, especially with Oreos.

[Frankie]

Scrape.

[Joey]

I can scrape an Oreo clean. Yeah, I can do that. But the. The little crackers, the Ritz crackers, cheese. I'll like put the whole thing in my mouth and then kind of open it, eat the one side of the cracker. Bullshit.

[Frankie]

You know, I get what you're saying. You know what I like to do?

[Joey]

You haven't. I haven't even gotten to the meat and potatoes of what I'm saying here.

[Frankie]

Go ahead. I'm sorry. You're right.

[Joey]

I get it down now. I just have cracker and then cheese. And then I take the Cheese. And I try to get it off of the cracker. And then I take the cheese and I rub it on the top of my mouth with my tongue. And then it just like gets all dusty on the top of my mouth. And then I eat it. Anybody else do that? There's dead. You can hear a pin drop in here.

[Frankie]

I don't think you realize how borderline insane it sounds like to do that.

[Joey]

Yeah, you just chew them up and eat them.

[Frankie]

Yep. Yeah, yeah, I do. I might, I might.

[Joey]

You don't take the cheese in like.

[Frankie]

No, I do that sometimes. I'll like, separate, you know, like, I'll separate the cracker in my mouth where I'm like, you go over there, cracker. You and the cheese go over there.

[Joey]

Segregation, you know.

[Frankie]

Stop that. Yeah, exactly. Men over here, women and children first, you know, and then I eat it like that. But the only thing that I think I have a weird separation thing with when I eat is Peanut M. M's.

[Joey]

Peanut M and Ms. Cracking those bitches.

[Frankie]

I crack the shell. I remove the whole shell, I remove the whole chocolate. And then I got just the, The. The peanut in my mouth and I like to find the seam and I like to split that shit. And then that little. That little, you know, that little like bean. Bean on the top of the, the peanut. I love to take that. And it is sharp and I.

[Joey]

And I go and I get it all out of there and then I crack that right down the middle.

[Frankie]

Yes, yes, yes. I. I love that.

[Joey]

I love that. Also, Robin's eggs, the shells on those. I love cracking that shit in my mouth.

[Frankie]

Unbelievable. Robin's eggs are a tier, top tier candy, which is why I stand by Easter. Might have the best seasonal candy of any holiday.

[Joey]

It's. It's very, very, very.

[Frankie]

It's very probable and possible. But in true basement yard fashion, we completely got away from what we were doing. 500 episodes.

[Joey]

500.

[Frankie]

I think we celebrated 300.

[Joey]

First of all, she's. You hear her?

[Frankie]

She's screaming at you.

[Joey]

She's yelling at me. Look.

[Frankie]

Careful. Your fucking brand new computer, which, by the way.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Joey has used this thing more than any computer's been used in history to justify buying it. It's so true. But in true Bassman yard fashion, we got off the topic.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

500 episodes. Is this because you started the. The show? Is this where you imagine the show would be?

[Joey]

I'm sitting here with Barbara Walters. Thank you for that question. Oh, I thought you were just gonna slam.

[Frankie]

Wham, bam, maybe the next one.

[Joey]

I like what you got going on here. I'm a big fan of cream and green. The cream and green is good.

[Frankie]

I don't know what it is lately, but like, I'm greened out, baby bro.

[Joey]

Me too. And was just talking that he's like, everything you do is green.

[Frankie]

Green phone, bro.

[Joey]

I got a green phone too.

[Frankie]

Green face. Oh, green pants.

[Joey]

How's your undies?

[Frankie]

Whoa.

[Joey]

Oh, you're great.

[Frankie]

How are you?

[Joey]

Are you wearing tighty whities like before?

[Frankie]

No. Oh, you would hate these.

[Joey]

Why?

[Frankie]

They were. They're not cream. They're not greener.

[Joey]

Are they multi color?

[Frankie]

There's no cream on these boxers, by the way. Gotta say that in a better way.

[Joey]

There's no cream in these boxers. Frank showed up to the shoot yesterday. The socks that this man had on, a very, very bright orange. Well, they were orange and blue.

[Frankie]

They were orange and blue or green. I can't remember. I have several pairs of those.

[Joey]

Specific.

[Frankie]

They're socks. Enough with all the socks, Lander. Socks are meant to be fun and playful. They're the only article of clothing you can be really super playful with for only yourself shirts. Everyone else sees it. Everyone else sees it. So, like you wear a playful shirt, people just be like, oh, my God, enough boxers. And. And boxers. Underwear for those that wear underwear. And socks for those who wear underwear. Like, I mean, like tight underwear. Because like, women wear like strings, not boxers. Yeah, you know, I'm just, you know, they have underwear.

[Joey]

If you were to wear women's underwear, what kind do you think you would wear? Would you thong listen or would you wear panties?

[Frankie]

Listen up real quick, ladies. Let me speak on your behalf, okay? I'm gonna protect you here. Thongs, they are, they're sick. But if I was a woman, I wouldn't be wearing them unless it was like sexy time. Here we go. Bing, bang, boom.

[Joey]

Okay, so if you are a woman, you wouldn't wear thongs?

[Frankie]

I. I would wear them. Like, if I'm trying to. Like, if I know I'm getting myself into some shenanigans later. Okay, but like, if it's. If I'm going straight comfort, baby, these panties is going to be grannies. You're going granny panties, I'm going underwears, babe.

[Joey]

What about. What's it called? Booty shorts or something?

[Frankie]

I don't know, like Spanx. But those are like on an span. Are like, they're like shapewear.

[Joey]

I think I'm talking about like, they're like shorts kinda, but the bottom of your butt.

[Frankie]

I just. The Idea of wearing a thong and always having this thread in your asshole.

[Joey]

You probably don't feel it, though.

[Frankie]

I mean, yeah, they've probably at, you know, through their life. Warm enough. But, like you're gonna tell me that's made for comfort?

[Joey]

Apparently everyone's wearing them. It's all the rage these days.

[Frankie]

It's all the rage. Those kids are wearing the thongs.

[Joey]

The kids love the thongs.

[Frankie]

No, I would.

[Joey]

Disgusting.

[Frankie]

Yeah, disgusting. Here we go.

[Joey]

Make sure you edit that. It yells at you.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joey]

Look at your hands. Look at your hands. Hang that up. Also, I had a very interesting. I went back to the vet for my dog.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God. Just let this dog die already.

[Joey]

Jesus Christmas. He's alive and well.

[Ant]

That's good.

[Joey]

It's insane.

[Frankie]

This dog is just trying to die on you and you just won't let it happen.

[Joey]

Dude, when was the last time you went to the vet?

[Frankie]

Take the hint, Joey.

[Ant]

Oh, no, it's a couple beers.

[Joey]

You are a heartless pig. That's what you are.

[Frankie]

You can't call a Spanish man a pig. I guess you can. Actually. I guess you can nowadays.

[Joey]

I don't even know nowadays. Where's the connection?

[Frankie]

Here we go.

[Joey]

Jeez. Would you fill that with vodka in there? The fuck's going on over here?

[Frankie]

Here we are.

[Joey]

You have a stash?

[Frankie]

Damn right I do. Yep. Hold on.

[Joey]

There he is.

[Frankie]

Welcome back to the basement yard.

[Joey]

Perfect. I went back to the vet, and it's because I saw that my dog was, like, licking his penis a lot.

[Frankie]

Does that mean, like, he. I. Serious questions here. Yep. I remember you talked about the hot spots that dogs get because they. They lick them. So in your head, were you like, my dog's penis is a real hot spot right now?

[Joey]

Technically, yeah.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joey]

Technically, I had to refer to my dog's penis as a hot spot.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Also, I had to get in there and check it out.

[Frankie]

You jerked off your dog.

[Joey]

That's not how you check it out. So he was licking his. Don't. Hey. Giggles.

[Ant]

Sorry.

[Frankie]

So he was.

[Joey]

When we got back from Europe, I picked up my dog and my mom was like, hey, he's been licking his penis a lot. And I was like, maybe he's just, like, in that kind of mood. I don't know. I couldn't. Huh?

[Frankie]

There's several. You would. You would.

[Joey]

Frank's head.

[Frankie]

You would if you could.

[Joey]

I don't know, Frank. What are you even saying? Anyway, I pick up the dog.

[Frankie]

Your giggles again. He laughed like this.

[Joey]

I pick up the dog and she's like he's licking his penis a lot. I'm like, okay. So then I notice him doing it. I'm in my apartment. So I go over. I'm expect. I'm inspecting this dog's penis.

[Frankie]

Yep.

[Joey]

Right. And he's looking at me like, are.

[Frankie]

You gonna walk me through how.

[Joey]

Well looking at it? I don't. What do you want me. What do you want to do? I didn't.

[Frankie]

Well, dogs. Dogs have retractable dicks.

[Joey]

It's not on the. On his actual, like, oh, red rocket penis. It's like the sheath.

[Frankie]

The sheath. Incredible. I was ready to attack you, but I love that. Go ahead.

[Joey]

So I just saw something there. I was like, oh, yeah, it looks a little red. Gonna take him to the vet. So I take him to the vet.

[Frankie]

Wait, his penis looks a little red.

[Joey]

There's like a thing that looks like a cut. So I'm like, oh, it's probably a hot spot, you know, Cuz like, if they get cut, they start licking it and then it could spread, whatever. So I looked at a little infected. I go to the ants looking at.

[Frankie]

Me like I was the one licking it.

[Joey]

Like he was licking his own hotspot. I mean, nothing. I wasn't.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joey]

I get to the doctor, and he's like, oh, what. You know, what's going on? It's like, I think there's a hot spot on my dog's penis. He's like, okay, we'll kind of check it out, or, you know, whatever. And he was a super nice guy.

[Frankie]

And then technically it was your dog's foreskin.

[Joey]

It wasn't. I don't know what. I don't know what to call it, to be honest with you.

[Frankie]

It's like the. The protective barrier. Yeah. So it's like the wall.

[Joey]

What is the point of what this interjection that you just had. What are you trying to establish that you don't already know?

[Frankie]

Trying to hear myself talk.

[Joey]

I know. Trying to hear myself. She's whistling. So I. I go in there and I'm like, oh, there's something wrong with my dog's penis, or whatever. And then he's like, okay, cool, we'll check it out. And then he tells me. He's like, by the way, I just want. You know, I don't want to. Because I was in the lobby and.

[Frankie]

I don't want to tell you. I'm a huge fan.

[Joey]

He's like, I'm a huge fan of yours. And, you know, whatever. I love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you Man, I appreciate it.

[Frankie]

Is this the same guy that gave you a discount last time?

[Joey]

No. So I went to a different one and he actually made a comment. He was like, oh, you know, we were jealous that you went to the other one. And I was like, oh, I don't even know how they fuck. They knew that, I think, because maybe the record.

[Frankie]

The records.

[Joey]

So he says that. And I'm like, okay, cool. And he leaves the room for a second to go get the doctor. I look down. My fly could not be more gaped. It's so open. And I'm like, so embarrassing now.

[Frankie]

You know what's so funny is you've openly told me that's something that you always check for.

[Joey]

Because. Yeah, because I'm like, always before we go on stage, I'm, like, checking to see that it's open. But it was so. Dude, I'm not kidding. So cavernous. It was so open.

[Frankie]

Just like. What kind of pants were you wearing? Jeans.

[Joey]

I was wearing a pants, like, kind of like these, like a. Whatever. But, like, I think the way that I was sitting, it just didn't help. And it was so opened. And I'm like, this guy's getting a look at my penis and the dog.

[Frankie]

And the dog's penis. So he's seeing one of them is a real hot spot, and the other one is just.

[Joey]

Just a spot.

[Frankie]

Playfully, in fact.

[Joey]

Just a spot. Just a dot.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

And I was like, oh, okay, thanks. But that was, like, no discount. But, you know, he should have gave you the.

[Frankie]

The. The I'm a fan of you, plus the dick discount. That would have been sick.

[Joey]

I was totally okay with that. I mean, it wasn't a huge bill. The other one was a pretty big bill, so.

[Frankie]

Well, yeah. Last time you had to get him milked or whatever the hell you said.

[Joey]

You don't even listen when I talk.

[Frankie]

Most of the time.

[Joey]

Nobody is gonna milk my dog.

[Frankie]

Frank, didn't you say milk. They milk his anal glands or something.

[Joey]

They express them.

[Frankie]

Oh, but it's in a. It's a form of milking.

[Joey]

Yes. Yes, it is. I guess so.

[Frankie]

It's just not the type of milking your dog would prefer or you would prefer, probably.

[Joey]

I would not want my anal gland expressed.

[Frankie]

I don't even think that's something that we could do.

[Joey]

I don't think we have that.

[Frankie]

I don't think we got that. I'm fine with that. I'm cool with. I'm cool with not having that. That's funny that you brought that up, though, because I Went to the DMV to get that real ID thing.

[Joey]

I don't want to do that.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah, you probably have to.

[Joey]

Is it a. Was it. Did it take long?

[Frankie]

I had to literally, like. Like, I was getting fucking Zayn Malik tickets, like, go on at, like, 8am one morning and get an appointment. And it was, like, the only appointment that was left. And first of all, naturally go there. They lost power.

[Joey]

The dmv?

[Frankie]

Yeah, they lost power.

[Joey]

Are they allowed?

[Frankie]

They were. They lost power, and they were waiting for the. What's it called? To come back up? The Internet. So I got there, and they're like, you're here for real id? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, ah, bad news. And I'm like, what? And they told me so. They're like, listen, you can take this sheet and come back anytime you want in the next two weeks, and we'll take you right in. Or you can wait and. And then try your luck to see, because, you know, Verizon was just here, see if it'll come back on, and then if not, you come back and, you know, we'll. We'll give you that sheet again. And I'm like, all right, you know what? I was like, I might as well wait a little bit, you know, just to test my luck. And I sat there, I sat down, and I like, all right, I'm giving myself 45 minutes. I was like, if. If I don't even hear that the Internet is back. Like, if they don't take someone in front of me in that time, I'm just gonna leave and come back another day. So I'm sitting there, sitting there, waiting. Whatever. When's the last time you physically went to the dmv?

[Joey]

When I got my permit.

[Frankie]

Dude, I don't know what it is. It's all old people. It's not.

[Joey]

What are they doing there? I don't know, but it was expired.

[Frankie]

Well, so one guy was there, and it was just like, he needed to get this changed and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, it was all it was. I was the youngest person in there by 25 years.

[Joey]

Like, do old people just like the DMV?

[Frankie]

I don't.

[Joey]

Maybe it's just like a hot spot for them.

[Frankie]

A hot spot? This is a hot spot episode.

[Joey]

It is.

[Frankie]

Possibly because that's the only place people talk to them because they're maybe, like, old, decrepit losers.

[Joey]

You've got so much karma, you're coming your way. It's insane.

[Frankie]

But so I'm there. I'M waiting. I'm like, all right, I see. I'm watching, you know, looking at the time, and it gets to 45 minutes, but I notice Verizon is, like, coming in and out of the building. So I look over, like, the server room and they're in there, and I'm like, all right, you know what?

[Joey]

They're hacking the mainframe right now. They'll have it up.

[Frankie]

I'm in.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

You know, I'm thinking, like, might as well just give it another few minutes. Unless there's a sign that I should get out of here.

[Joey]

Like, from the Lord above.

[Frankie]

I don't know. I don't. You know how I feel. I'm pretty, like, in the middle. Agnostic. So, like. Yeah, but you're like, send me a sign. Exactly. I'm superstitious. That's, I think, the best thing. And then I'm like, unless there's a sign at this volume, there's an old man directly in front of me scrolling through, like, Facebook, not Instagram has reels. Tick tock. I don't know what tick tocks are called. I guess tick tocks. But, like, what's the Facebook one called?

[Joey]

I have no idea.

[Frankie]

The short little video formats.

[Ant]

I think we get what you're saying.

[Joey]

Stories or whatever.

[Frankie]

Whatever it is, he's scrolling through them and it's like, you know, like, oh, five signs to see if your, you know, house foundation is messed up. And then one is just like, if you're do using these roofing nails, stop right now. You know, and then he gets on one, and it's a clear AI voice. Like, my. They told me, you know, you know, that how it sounds, how it's kind of.

[Joey]

Tell me. This was like, oh, my big fat tits or something. It was.

[Frankie]

It would say, bro, the guy. I couldn't. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what I was listening to. So I put my phone down to listen more and looked around me and other people were just like. It starts playing on his phone and it's like, I gave my stepson these pills to help him with his cock growth. I couldn't believe the results, so I had to test it out for myself.

[Joey]

What?

[Frankie]

Yo, I couldn't.

[Joey]

He's watching porn. Watching porn in the dmv out loud.

[Frankie]

Like, louder than you would like. First of all, I know this is a pet peeve of yours, but people in public scrolling on their phone, you're either at no volume or you either have headphones on or you're at one. Yes, who is jailed. If anyone else can hear you, crazy. Yeah, but it's on full volume, honestly, to the point I might have thought to myself, like, does he have a speaker in his pocket or something?

[Joey]

Because it was loud and it was like, my. My son's dick.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Joey]

And I've got to try it out.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Joey]

What?

[Frankie]

Yes. And. And I thought. Anyone say, hey, bro, I thought for a second might have been like, I gave this old man watching porn in public the benefit of the doubt.

[Joey]

Did you see his phone?

[Frankie]

No. So I. I, like, I thought for.

[Joey]

A sec, like, benefit of the doubt. What is it?

[Frankie]

The benefit of the doubt of thinking, like, I gave them the pills, so then I took the pills to try it on myself. But that's the benefit of that. But then I listened, and it was a female voice. And then she started getting more sexual. It was just like, I unzipped his pants and couldn't believe it.

[Joey]

This guy's listening to a smut book, bro.

[Frankie]

I couldn't. I was sitting there flabbergasted at this fucking guy and not only watching porn in public, but, like, blasting it. Not only blasting and watching porn in public, but it was like, my stepson, which is fucking disgusting. Right? I said, I literally put my phone in my pocket. I put my papers by my side. That was my sign. I got the fuck up and left.

[Joey]

Oh, so you didn't get.

[Frankie]

I didn't even. I didn't. I just got up and left.

[Joey]

So that was your sign?

[Frankie]

That was my sign.

[Joey]

Damn, dude. You should have been like, this will be good for the podcast. And walked over and be like, hey, Rusty, what are you watching? The fuck is this?

[Frankie]

You wanted me to, like, inquire and just be like, let's sit down and analyze this together.

[Joey]

I mean, I don't have that in me. I could never do that to a stranger and walk up and be like, are you blasting audio porn right now? What's going on, sir?

[Frankie]

I, like, I looked over. There was a woman, like, four seats to my right, and she was just like, you know that look. You know what I mean?

[Joey]

It's like, is he watching Stepmom?

[Frankie]

He. I couldn't. Like, at what level of not giving a fuck do you allow something like that to happen, bro?

[Joey]

You know what's crazy? Like, obviously, that's ridiculous. There's those videos that exist. You said that one was like, AI or something.

[Frankie]

It sounded like it. Like, the cadence was very like, you know what I mean?

[Joey]

Probably was. And he was like, oh, I can only imagine what he was Watching.

[Frankie]

Oh, God.

[Joey]

I've been getting these like, TikTok shop fucking ads or something, but they're so weird. It's like a girl in the middle of telling a story about, oh, my boyfriend has never clapped my cheeks as hard as he has this past weekend. And then she's selling some product, like ashwagandha pills or something. It's like, yo, my boyfriend, like, was clapping the thunder. Clapping the out of my cheeks, and I'm like, this is what advertising is now.

[Frankie]

This is what sells, apparently.

[Joey]

And so someone, A dude is watching that, being like, oh, if he thunderclapped her, then I'm gonna thunder clap some.

[Frankie]

Cat I could take. See, this is the way if you're gonna sell fake pills, the way to do it is at a bodega on a rack right next to like, you know, a. A hundred grand bar. And it says something like rhino or like, jackhammer time. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about.

[Joey]

Did I ever tell you what I went to? I. When I lived in a story, I went to the deli and I got a sandwich and I'm paying for it. And the dude goes. He starts pointing to like. Because there's like, it's right next to them.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I know. It's literally, as you're paying, it's right here.

[Joey]

Yeah. And literally it's like giraffe tits or so. You know what I'm saying? Hard giraffe dick or whatever it's called. It's like something like that. And he's like, yo, you want. You need this? And I was like, no, I'm good. He's like, nah, bro, I see. He's like, you need it. And I'm like, what's going on, bro? I'm trying to buy a sandwich from you. I'm trying to, like, help. What about.

[Frankie]

You gave off limp dick energy?

[Joey]

Yeah, I like, yo, why do you think that I need some. Some, you know, turbo hyena dick or whatever the, like, what vibes am I giving off that you think I need?

[Frankie]

That I can't imagine. Now, listen, I understand, you know, there are people that suffer from erectile dysfunction and you take whatever supplements and pills you need.

[Joey]

Yeah, but like, take something with class.

[Frankie]

Like, that's what I'm saying.

[Joey]

That was crazy.

[Frankie]

That was nuts. That's what I'm saying. Like, go. Go get a blue chew if you feel so inclined.

[Joey]

Cialis something from a doctor.

[Frankie]

What's the Viagra, bro? If you're getting your pills from the same place that you buy loose cigarettes you're fucking up in life.

[Joey]

Yeah. Come on, bro. Maybe you did some irreversible damage to that, Yang.

[Frankie]

I imagine though, like, there's gotta be. I saw one on when I was like, scrolling. I follow this account that, like, tweets crazy things that, like, I screenshot and we use for the episodes, and one of them was just like, the new viral sex chocolate. And it's like, what is going on, dude?

[Joey]

Like, chocolate to make me horny.

[Frankie]

I mean, apparently chocolate's an aphrodisiac in and of itself.

[Joey]

Nothing has ever. I've eaten anything and been like, it's go time.

[Frankie]

Really.

[Joey]

It's never happened to me.

[Frankie]

Yeah, they say that about, like, strawberries, chocolate, oysters.

[Joey]

Never.

[Frankie]

I will say this. I've eaten quite a ton of oysters.

[Joey]

Never.

[Frankie]

I can't imagine that the oysters are what made me horned up.

[Joey]

Right. It's usually just women. That's usually what does it.

[Frankie]

What did the trick was women.

[Joey]

Not. Not the Hershey bar I ate on the way over.

[Frankie]

Okay. Like, maybe that's what our next business venture needs to be. Maybe if you guys make another hot sauce. Secret Handshake Foods Co. Did I say that right? Secret Hendrick Food company.

[Joey]

Yeah, they had the. It felt wrong when you said it, but it was right.

[Frankie]

You have the everything bagel hot sauce. You have the Bloody Mary hot sauce. What if your next hot sauce is an aphrodisiac hot sauce that, like, is, like, laced with, like, hints of chocolate, strawberry, other foods that are horny foods? So it's a horny hot sauce.

[Joey]

It's a good name.

[Frankie]

Horny hot sauce.

[Joey]

Horny hot sauce.

[Frankie]

I'm giving you that for free, by the way.

[Joey]

We're not gonna market a horny hot sauce.

[Frankie]

Everyone else is doing it. People are getting their thunderclaps tied down and bang bang Durang.

[Joey]

I know.

[Frankie]

You might as well.

[Joey]

I know. It is kind of crazy that those are, like, a thing. And again, we're not saying there's an issue with people who have ed. I get it.

[Frankie]

Correct.

[Joey]

People have erectile dysfunction. That's totally fine. But if you're going to buy your pills right next to where you would buy a lighter.

[Frankie]

A lighter with fucking like, a lighter with, like, a skeleton like this on.

[Joey]

I'm just saying maybe you've made mistakes.

[Frankie]

If you get breakfast sandwiches from the same place you buy your. Your. Your dick pills, you need to reevaluate that.

[Joey]

Yeah, fuck that motherfucker that was pawning off the pill. Yeah. That's crazy that I Needed them.

[Frankie]

I mean, they always had Horny Goat weed. It was the one they had by.

[Joey]

Us, Horny Goat weed.

[Frankie]

Which.

[Joey]

There's a hyena one that I saw, though, and I was.

[Frankie]

Hyena Humper.

[Joey]

I don't know what it's called.

[Frankie]

I don't know either, but I imagine. I mean, they're all animal base and they're. I don't know why goats are the one that they put in there, though.

[Joey]

It's also about, like, going fast and then an animal.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So it'll be like nitrous oxide. Hyena dick fuck. Or so I don't know.

[Frankie]

We'll workshop the name.

[Joey]

We're coming up with stuff. But we do have. We do have some ads. That's not a good place to start. We do have some ads for this episode, the first one being, how you doing? Stitch Fix. Shopping is hard, but a better way to do that with Stitch Fix, okay. Stitch Fix is like an online stylist, okay? You go onto their website, you take a style quiz. You tell them, I like wearing clothes like this. I like stripes. I like this kind of fit. I'm this tall. This is my waist size. Stuff like that. You let them know the kind of clothes that you like to wear. And then they get to work, and they pull a bunch of stuff from a bunch of brands that you know and love. They send it to your house, and you only pay for the stuff that you keep. Okay. The rest you send back, and returns are always free. So whatever you send back or whatever you don't have to pay for, it's great. But it's a great way to kind of keep your closet current. Okay. You always get. It's nice to get a little package every once in a while and be like, ooh, some new clothes, you know, and someone's working for you. They know your style, what you like to wear, which brands you like, and they'll send stuff to your house. It's amazing. So make style easy. Get started today@stitch fix.com basement. That is stitchfix.com basement. But they will send you all that stuff, okay. And they'll make sure that you're looking good. Speaking of looking good, we also have skims. Okay. Skims. You know, I know a lot of people think this is just women's underwear, but no, they have skims. Men's. And this is some of the most comfortable underwear I've ever put on my body. Okay? They have. When it first came out, I was like, damn. It's just for women. It looks very comfortable on their skin. I wish that I could have some of that, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. But now they have skims men's. They have awesome underwear and they're amazing. Okay, my first impression, I put them on very soft, tight, perfectly. A perfect amount of tight. Okay? If you want it too tight, sometimes you get underwear, it's too tight and you're like, okay, this is too crazy. Now I feel like I can't breathe in this thing. But it's a perfect amount of tight. It keeps everything where it needs to be and it's like breathable. So it's not like a sweat factory down there, if you know what I'm talking about. And, fellas, I know you do. So skims, they have awesome boxer briefs. They have a stretch brief. They have a bunch of different things. Go check them out. Shop skims, men's and [e-mail] they also have a flagship store on 5th Ave. So you can go check that out if you're in the New York area. But they are the official underwear partner of the NBA, WNBA and USA Basketball. So when you go to skims and you buy some stuff, let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and then select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, so go get that. Men, women, whoever, skims.com get yourself some underwear. Let them know we sent you.

[Frankie]

Yeah, and you know what? If you're feeling good and you want to have a little more of us, go check us [e-mail] the basement yard. We thank you guys for your continued love and support. We are working tirelessly to give you guys more of us. And you can get more of us at Patreon. That's right. Patreon.com the basement yard. You go and sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. In that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the Basement Boys. Thank you, guys. We're creeping toward 34,000 paid patrons. We are so appreciative and thankful. If you sign up for that second tier, you get all those backlogged episodes. So don't just sit there and think like, oh, I'm going to sign up and then just get them when they come out. No. Hundreds of episodes at your disposal. So go check it out. And if you're going to do it, do us a favor. Go to patreon.com the basement yard on a Web browser. Apple has been a little crazy with their whole taking money and they're cut and all that stuff. So it helps us out directly. So go to patreon.com the basement yard, on the Web browser. Sign up there, and it'll continue to support us. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next time. Oh, we're not going anywhere. Oh, you're. I don't hear screaming. There she goes, bro.

[Joey]

I've done a number on this. What are you up to?

[Frankie]

I'm at just below 2.

[Ant]

Holy.

[Joey]

This is 1.5 liters. Yeah, I'm not finishing this.

[Ant]

You got it.

[Joey]

You got it. That's banana pants.

[Ant]

Frankie was beating Joe, but now Joe took the lead.

[Joey]

Why are they yelling? There's so much yelling going on.

[Frankie]

There's a little. There's a little. Oh, my God. So stinky.

[Joey]

Winky.

[Frankie]

Oh, whose winky is stinky?

[Joey]

Oh, not my dogs.

[Frankie]

Your dogs is fucking hot.

[Joey]

No, I fixed it. That's crazy. He just said my dog.

[Frankie]

Hot spot, baby.

[Joey]

No, I know you meant hot spot. I know you said.

[Frankie]

I have a question.

[Joey]

Ask me.

[Frankie]

Did you see this video of this snake in Thailand? This is a very wiener episode today.

[Joey]

Do I see a snake in Thailand?

[Frankie]

Well, you've never been to Thailand.

[Joey]

No.

[Frankie]

Would you?

[Joey]

Hell, yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Oh, you haven't watched White Lotus?

[Joey]

No, I haven't, but they have elephant sanctuaries out there, and I would love to pet an elephant.

[Frankie]

Would you like an elephant if it were like. Would you like to, like, pet it or ride it? Ride.

[Joey]

I would ride it. I would, But I feel like not if they're mean to the elephants.

[Frankie]

You know what I mean? Well, like, they need to be a little mean to horses.

[Joey]

Who.

[Frankie]

When you're riding a horse. When's the last time you rode a horse?

[Joey]

I've never ridden a horse.

[Frankie]

What? You should ride a horse, man.

[Joey]

I've rode a horse with you in Pre K. Yeah. Those are probably donkeys.

[Frankie]

We are. So we rode horses back, and I for anniversary. And Becca, bleeding heart love her, but she was like. The woman was just like, all right, give him a little kick in order to, like, move faster.

[Joey]

Oh, you gotta kick him.

[Frankie]

And Becca was just like, I don't want to. And she's like, they have very thick, like, actual thick skin, bro.

[Joey]

Also, I could never hurt a horse, even if I wanted to. I feel like you could hit a horse with a baseball bat. They'd be like, hello.

[Frankie]

I mean, yeah, maybe. I don't know.

[Joey]

They look strong as fuck. Not that I would do that. That's psychotic.

[Frankie]

But, bro, you don't understand the power of a horse until you're on one. I don't know why that's. So you're riding horsepower, this thing.

[Joey]

Oh, I felt horsepower. But you're forgetting a Mustang. Yeah, I felt it.

[Frankie]

I got a Ford F150 packed in the backyard. But, yo, did you see this snake in Thailand?

[Joey]

No.

[Frankie]

I make you want to rethink and pull this up. So there. Apparently there was. There have been some floods over there. We hope everyone's okay.

[Joey]

And what the fuck is that?

[Frankie]

So this video came out and it's a python. This is may be fake, but who cares? We're not the way.

[Joey]

Is it. Did it eat it?

[Frankie]

Was it. Did it eat.

[Joey]

Dude, that looks like it ate a fat man.

[Frankie]

That's what they. I mean, I think there's no way that's real pro wine, dude. There's. You ever heard the story of the Amazon? That there was like. It was like the late 1800s or something. Yeah, I can't.

[Joey]

What?

[Frankie]

I can't.

[Joey]

I'm not. I'm not ready to speak words yet because of how. What the fuck?

[Frankie]

That's a big if.

[Joey]

If there are things in the world that exists like that. Dude, we don't have a big enough military, then.

[Frankie]

Oh, we.

[Joey]

Can you imagine? I mean, we do. We do spend a lot of.

[Frankie]

You know, it's crazy.

[Joey]

We have a big military. We have a. Yeah, but I don't trust that them. I trust the military. I don't trust the people who control the military is what I wanted to say.

[Frankie]

We're in an episode. This is becoming. Keep drinking. Dude, what would you do if you came in and that was just like, hanging from here, a giant. There's nothing you could do.

[Joey]

You would be spider.

[Frankie]

You'd be dead.

[Joey]

How much should I drink already? Yeah, no, I'm not excited about that at all. I mean, if I saw a snake, I'm not like, afraid of snakes, but anything that big. I'm afraid of anything that big.

[Frankie]

You're afraid of elephants?

[Joey]

See, I'm. When it comes to animals like that, I'm in the same way. I'm like, we're dumb in different ways.

[Frankie]

Who's we?

[Joey]

Me and you.

[Frankie]

Oh, we're dumb in different ways.

[Joey]

No, no, no. So, like, you think you could, like, beat animals up? I. I think. Well, actually, no, this is similar because with you and gorillas, where you're like, oh, I'll kind of like, whatever. I think that I have something in Me?

[Frankie]

Yep.

[Joey]

That when animals see me, they know that, like, I'm their boy, you're not a threat. And not that I'm not even a threat. That I'm just like, that I get them. Like, they see me and they're like, oh, like a doctor do. I'm dead ass. I think this.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I know. No, no, this is like they feel their vibes and they're like, this guy is not a threat. So I'm just gonna do my animal thing over here.

[Joey]

When I am walking on the street and I see a dog and we make eye contact, I really think that they see me and they. In their mind, they're like, oh, yeah, no, that's a good. That's good. Like, I don't like. I think that they underst. Like a dog barking or whatever. I would. I feel like I would walk up to it and it would stop barking. I'm basically saying what I am is stupid.

[Frankie]

Yeah, we know. That's the thing.

[Joey]

But I. But I feel like that, so. But I would say giant snakes. I don't feel that way with. I don't think elephants. An angry elephant who's doing the thing. If I walked up to them and I just felt like I could like, comment if I just look, if it's. If it. You know, you gotta get on the side of them.

[Frankie]

But you'd put your head here. You do that.

[Joey]

Well, you look into his eye and I'd be like, it's okay, big fella. And it would chill.

[Frankie]

Gotcha.

[Joey]

And I don't know if that's real, but I feel that in my heart, big fella. I don't know if I would use that language.

[Frankie]

Yeah, well, what if you angered it even more? Because it was like, did you just assume my gender? I'm a big elephant.

[Joey]

That's true.

[Frankie]

Crazy. And you could tell elephants genders pretty easily. Just go around the back.

[Joey]

Big swinging dicks.

[Frankie]

The dicks are big. The vaginas are big.

[Joey]

Really?

[Frankie]

They're just big animals, dude.

[Joey]

I don't know that I've seen an elephant vagina in my day, but, I.

[Frankie]

Mean, neither have I. But they're big animals. I imagine that they got big.

[Joey]

They gotta have it.

[Frankie]

They gotta have it, you know, Gotta. They gotta have a walk in closet back there.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I watched a video of a rhino taking a dump the other day.

[Frankie]

All right, everyone, I'll see you guys later.

[Joey]

I'll tell you this. They produce a lot of dump. A lot. Yeah.

[Frankie]

Good.

[Joey]

A lot.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Dude, have you ever seen the One of the elf. The. The hippo dumping. And it's just like, its tail is, like, acting like a fan.

[Joey]

Yeah. It's like slapping it around. That is dumb.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Dumb design.

[Joey]

Also, like, yo, hippos don't even need tails.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I agree. They have really dumb, stupid tail.

[Joey]

You're so big. You have this very thin, and it's like.

[Frankie]

It has, like, a little thing at the end. It's just like four.

[Joey]

It's like Homer Simpson hairs at the end of the tail.

[Frankie]

I don't like that shit. Get rid of it. Although, have you seen an elephant tail up close?

[Joey]

Dude, I can't. I can't. Oh, no, they're big.

[Frankie]

It looks like a mace. Those hairs look like if they hit you, they'll pierce you. They're sharp hair, dude. I mean, they just thick hairs. Aunt, do me a favor. Look up. As he's doing that, we're gonna talk. Look up elephant tail up close.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frankie]

A lot of animals have tails that don't need them. Bears. Why the do bears have tails?

[Joey]

I'd like a tail, though.

[Frankie]

I would not hate one.

[Joey]

I would like a tail just to.

[Frankie]

Like, just a waggon. Yeah. Just so. Just to have it.

[Joey]

Or like, if it was big enough that I could, like, pick stuff up.

[Frankie]

Go to that first picture, babe.

[Joey]

Yeah, Like, I wish I had it. What? Yeah, dude, that's an elephant's tail.

[Frankie]

Hell, yeah. Look, there's one of it crapping right below it.

[Joey]

Don't. Don't click on that. That's an elephant's tail. That's so weird.

[Frankie]

Look at how thick, thick that hair is. That's like brush. Brush.

[Ant]

Looks like. Yeah, it looks like you clean your grill with it.

[Frankie]

That does look like that.

[Joey]

That does.

[Frankie]

I have another question. Since we're just asking questions today, let's let them fly. Why. Why is everyone so mad at Katy Perry?

[Joey]

Oh, yeah, they did the blue origin.

[Frankie]

They did that blue origin space thing.

[Joey]

Before we get into Katy Perry, do you think that's real or is it fake?

[Frankie]

I don't know. I think a lot of people now are saying that it's fake. Like, they're suggesting that it's fake. I haven't looked in enough to be able to plant my flag in either side of the argument, but would you do it? No. The fattest no that I could ever imagine.

[Joey]

That's a scary one, dude.

[Frankie]

No, I hate getting in a plane.

[Joey]

That's true.

[Frankie]

You think I would be like, let's go to space where there's nothing you're.

[Joey]

I Mean, you're in. Are you in space or are you, like, in the atmosphere?

[Frankie]

That's a good question. I think, technically you. You leave.

[Joey]

If I could. See, that's the thing. First of all, I'm with you.

[Frankie]

No, no, no, no.

[Joey]

Not doing it. But, like, the idea that I could be above the Earth looking at it and then also look into space for a second is so crazy. I can't. I can't even imagine. I. I'm. I almost feel like it can't be real. Because if that was me and I went into space and I saw the Earth in front of me and then I saw space behind me and I landed back on Earth, I would be, like, so different, dude.

[Frankie]

I would be a different person because it would just, like. I. I'm not even kidding. I think I would just look at life differently. Because when you see, like, how big it is. Not even. Not even how big it is, but, like, when you see, like, every person you've ever met, every interaction, everything is just right there.

[Joey]

And then nothing.

[Frankie]

I'd be like, nothing matters to anything. And I ever, ever. Nothing.

[Joey]

No. How do you get down and you hold up a flower and you promote your album? Like, I'd be like, bro, I'm not me anymore, yo.

[Frankie]

I would not. I wouldn't be able to get down and talk with people about anything other than, like, nothing is real. Nothing is real, dude. If I go and I see this thing and I. You're.

[Joey]

You'd be doing the Jim Carrey thing. You ever see these interviews where he's like, I'm not me. I'm a fictional character of it.

[Frankie]

And you're like, I would lose my mind. Because the idea of seeing the Earth. The Earth in, like, such a way that makes it feel so insignificant, bro. It's not like I couldn't handle that.

[Joey]

Like, yeah.

[Frankie]

And then looking and seeing the sun. The sun, the sun. You think you could just look at the sun and be fucking like, okay.

[Joey]

Dude, can we see the sun?

[Frankie]

We see it from here, babe.

[Joey]

That's not what I mean. I mean, like, if you're in space, if you look at the sun, what does it look like?

[Frankie]

The sun.

[Joey]

But, like, so you can't look at the sun, though, is my point.

[Frankie]

But it's so far away that you could look at it and just go like, yo, that's the sun. Isn't that wild that the sun is like the sun? Dude, Son, the sun is just the sun.

[Joey]

The sun is.

[Frankie]

It's crazy.

[Joey]

It's big.

[Frankie]

Big, bro.

[Joey]

Also, the sun is really the father. Really? If it decides. Yeah, I'm not going to work today, we're all dead.

[Frankie]

What? Also, what. Who named it the sun? Like, why didn't they call it something way cooler? Sun. Call it a cooler thing. What? Bitch.

[Ant]

How many Earths do you think can fit inside the sun?

[Frankie]

Millions, I would say.

[Joey]

I would say 150 million Earths.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it's a lot. I would say, honestly, Joey, you know what? Cosine 500 episodes 150 miles 150 million.

[Ant]

Earths, 1.3 million Earths. But it's still a lot.

[Frankie]

We kinda. We kinda.

[Joey]

I'm excited that we were.

[Frankie]

I mean, 1.3 million is still a lot of million.

[Joey]

That's a big burning star.

[Frankie]

It's a star. It's just gas, dude.

[Joey]

Gas.

[Frankie]

I don't think there's a surface to it. I think it's just like, gas.

[Joey]

How is it burning still? It's been so long.

[Frankie]

Ask someone might realize. You'd be like, yeah, actually, you know what? Click, turn that shit off. It would take eight minutes.

[Joey]

Wait, wait, here we go. How is the sun in space burning so hot that it warms the Earth, but as we know it, fire needs oxygen. If without oxygen, there can't be fire, but in space there's no oxygen.

[Frankie]

Maybe it's not actual oxygen. Maybe it's a. Maybe it's. It's burning the hydrogen or something. I don't know.

[Joey]

But like, how is that happening? That the sun is like, hydrogen is important. It's fire. We know it's fire.

[Frankie]

But is it real? Like, is it fire? Like, we know it. This isn't like a. Like when you go lighter, that has like a weed sock on it.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

You know, like, this is like space fire. So I think it's like different fire. Okay, so it's not like fire. It's just like burning gas.

[Joey]

That doesn't need oxygen. Maybe.

[Frankie]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Joey]

Like, that's so interesting.

[Frankie]

And it's just there. Like, it's just like a constant. It's got so much of itself that it's just like. We're just good forever. Hopefully. Eight minutes is all we have, babe.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frankie]

I saw one video and it was just like, here's what would happen if the Earth. If the sun just burnt out tomorrow.

[Joey]

And it's like, I'm not, I'm not.

[Frankie]

You don't want to know.

[Joey]

Dead.

[Frankie]

Well, it would take not long. It would basically be like a couple months.

[Joey]

We're dead.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Probably because it's like the first week, like, you'd go into like a winter.

[Joey]

Oh.

[Frankie]

And then it like, things will just like the ocean will freeze. Like every cold.

[Joey]

We go ice skating.

[Frankie]

That would be good. No, I'm not ice skating on the ocean. Get the hell out of here.

[Joey]

I would.

[Frankie]

I wouldn't like that. Ice skating on the ocean. Dude, what if it cracks and you fall through?

[Joey]

It won't.

[Frankie]

But what if it does?

[Joey]

Dead. Yeah, I'll be dead in a week anyway.

[Frankie]

No, I mean, we'd probably survive off of like, I would say three. I would say eight months.

[Joey]

We'd survive with no sun. Yeah, I don't know about that, chief.

[Frankie]

No.

[Joey]

Just in complete darkness.

[Frankie]

Science. Science has now allowed us to figure out heat, figure out light.

[Joey]

Science about science now.

[Frankie]

No, we. I mean, most of the food in America is chemically grown anyways.

[Joey]

You could survive on beans.

[Frankie]

You could serve. I mean, I think beans need to grow beans or plants.

[Joey]

Canned beans.

[Frankie]

I mean, what do you think those are?

[Joey]

Beans. Yeah, but we have a bunch of cans.

[Frankie]

Yeah, but then we won't.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frankie]

Then we won't have them.

[Joey]

Good point.

[Frankie]

You know, and then. And then what? And then what do we eat? All the. It would become a desert. The earth would become a desert. Basically a tundra tundra desert. This is a.

[Ant]

Who do you think's eating somebody first?

[Joey]

Maybe we shouldn't talk about the end of the earth apocalypse, because I don't. I don't, you know, I don't want to go there. I'm having a good day.

[Frankie]

Okay, so back to my original question though. Why is everyone so upset with Katy Perry? Like, you see, like, Wendy's, like, tweeted.

[Joey]

At her like, Kesha's got beef with her.

[Frankie]

Kesha's got beef with Katy Perry. She.

[Joey]

Because Kesha went to the. Went to Wendy's and was like, hahaha. And she posted a picture.

[Frankie]

Wait, what?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Why is Wendy's always, like, full? You know, we're the Beef Boys and we're all over beef. I just, I saw people are like, upset at Katy Perry and this is not me saying, like, I don't get it. What did she. I'm saying, like, I just don't know.

[Joey]

I don't know either. Like, I mean, I don't know about the beef between Kesha and Katy Perry either, but apparently there is one.

[Frankie]

Oh no. Has it got to do with that guy that did all Kesha's music?

[Joey]

What?

[Frankie]

Wasn't there a guy that, like, was in charge of all the Kesha's music or Something like that.

[Joey]

I'm not familiar. I know that Kesha. Something happened to Kesha. Something not cool. I don't know if that has something to do with this. I have no idea.

[Frankie]

I honestly don't know.

[Joey]

All I know is that people are like, oh, Kesha's shading Katy Perry.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Because Katie, they posted like a picture and it's like, Katy Perry's made it back from space. And then Wendy's, the official account for the fast food chain. Wendy's tweeted, like, can we send her back?

[Joey]

Yeah, that's wild. That's a while.

[Frankie]

Like, I just don't. And then, like, there have been a ton of people that have been saying, like, Katy Perry, like, let her say. And I think people's issue with the Blue origin space thing is that, like, it undermines like, the work that is being done by like space engineers and stuff like that. Like, that's what I've, I've seen people posting, like, I've seen people just salty. Like, we're rich, we can go to the moon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Frankie]

You know, it's.

[Joey]

It's like tone deaf. I. I heard that Katy Perry was like, I recommend this to everyone. And it's like, we can't afford to do that. You talking about that? We can go do that.

[Frankie]

It was like her, Gail King and yeah. Other people.

[Joey]

Oh, I saw the video of them, like walking on and Gail did not look happy.

[Frankie]

I mean, I wouldn't be happy going into space.

[Joey]

Me neither. I'd be shaking.

[Frankie]

I mean, did she. Did they sign up for it? Did they have to like, buy into it?

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frankie]

How do they choose Katy Perry? No offense to Katy Perry's.

[Joey]

I mean, a big person.

[Frankie]

I mean, she is no longer what she was 10 years ago. Like, Katy Perry 10 years ago was like a lister. Ton of music coming out.

[Joey]

Absolutely an A lister. Still, like, she's still like an A list, pull, pop, like borderline. Yeah, dude, she's a giant following.

[Frankie]

What is she. Is she releasing new music?

[Joey]

I don't know. I'm not the demo, so I don't really know.

[Frankie]

I mean, I mean, you, you, you have your ear to the ground more than I do with this stuff. Yeah, you know, I just don't like, people are like, upset. And do you know why people are so upset at Katy Perry?

[Ant]

I think it's just what he said, just rich people going to the moon.

[Frankie]

But like, before that people were upset with her for something. I.

[Joey]

Here's what I'll say, I don't know if there's a reason to hate Katy Perry. That'd be fun. I love hating people. Right? But I think if there isn't a legitimate reason to hate Katy Perry, right? And she got back from space and Wendy's was just like, send that back. That's hilarious.

[Frankie]

It is, it is.

[Joey]

And if I'm Katy Perry, bro.

[Frankie]

Bro, if I'm Katy Perry, I'm going.

[Joey]

On Twitter and be like, suck my dick, bro.

[Frankie]

I'm beefing with Wendy.

[Joey]

So if there's nothing. If there's nothing is what I'm saying. If Wendy's just, like, just jumped off the porch like, yo, fuck, this is.

[Frankie]

Not the first time. Yeah. If, like, Katy Perry is under fire and this is us just saying we legitimately don't know. I'm trying to fire for something, like, heinous and ugly. Like, yeah, her.

[Joey]

Absolutely. But we don't know.

[Frankie]

We don't know. But, like, why from Wendy's.

[Joey]

I'm trying to. I'm trying to put myself in Katy Perry shoes. If I went to space and came back and it's like, such a crazy moment for me, and then Wendy's was like, yo, send his ass back. I'd be like, suck my dick. Wendy's like, what the fuck did I do to you?

[Frankie]

This isn't the first time that Wendy's has, like, just tried roasting people on social media. Like, it's not. It doesn't make sense. And can you look up other times Wendy's done this, but, like, out of all places, like, it just. Wendy's, like, it would make sense.

[Joey]

It is funny, though, to be like, a fast food restaurant, bro.

[Frankie]

I was getting. If I was beefing with a fast food restaurant on fucking social media, actually, that would be kind of sick.

[Joey]

That's how I got my start.

[Frankie]

Oh, with Taco Bell.

[Joey]

Yeah. I've seen people, like, reenact our interaction. Drove me nuts.

[Frankie]

But, oh, like, trying to take it to be your. Their own. Like, yeah.

[Joey]

Like, being like, that was like, 2010.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Which is crazy. I. I was hyped that a verified account even replied, I am forever.

[Frankie]

I got hyped once with. Because Chipotle, like, responded to me. I got hyped and they, like, I don't know. I was. It was so cool. And I loved Chipotle at the time. Now, not so much.

[Joey]

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[Frankie]

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[Joey]

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[Frankie]

Boom. All right, so it looks like ant pulled up other times that Wendy's roasted people on Twitter. This is going back. Oh, this is only a couple years. I feel like this is way older though. Embassy Suites by Hilton Replying to someone roast us next. Tell your dad to get off Twitter.

[Ant]

They roasted like other companies here.

[Frankie]

So is it like, is Wendy's now like the.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's their thing.

[Frankie]

Roaster of people on like social media. This is stupid.

[Ant]

It seemed like Monster Energy. Top drink of choice for when you hate yourself and so does your English teacher. Like it's a little intense.

[Frankie]

That is true. But that's not a roast when you're just exposing the truth.

[Joey]

Have you ever drank a Monster's energy?

[Frankie]

No. Have you?

[Joey]

I have never.

[Frankie]

But I feel, I feel like if I did, I would immediately like just start wearing tap out shirts all the time.

[Joey]

I feel like that too. I feel like if I didn't want to have sex with women, then I would probably love it.

[Frankie]

Like if you wanted to hate them.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Like if your approach to women was just like, I'm going to be mean to them. And then when they don't like me, I'm going to hate them for it.

[Joey]

Bro. I'm glad that you brought that up.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joey]

Oh boy.

[Frankie]

Are we going after incels today? Yeah, every day. Get them.

[Joey]

There was a, there was a tweet that I saw and it was a dude. And like, I mean, obviously it's the Internet, so who knows if this is like real. But it was a dude's like Tinder profile. Starts it off with trigger warning.

[Frankie]

Yeah, you've already, you've already lost your.

[Joey]

If you write your own trigger warning to like your bio or like, oh, I made, I might say something offensive. Or if it's like me and my boy, if we started a podcast, we get canceled immediately.

[Frankie]

Canceled immediately? Yeah.

[Joey]

You guys are sick. Dude, just say you're racist. It's. It says. Let me guess, you're 25 with three kids. This is how he's starting off.

[Frankie]

Wait, who's he saying this?

[Joey]

This is a random person.

[Frankie]

Oh, this is bio.

[Joey]

His Tinder bio.

[Frankie]

Oh. So he thinks he's attracting a certain clientele.

[Joey]

Let me guess, let me guess.

[Frankie]

You're 25 with three kids, and you've done.

[Joey]

And you've. And you've done had your fun. Now you don't want that. You want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids because you let a loser nut inside you.

[Frankie]

Jesus Christ.

[Joey]

Then. Then. The ultimate. I'm six foot even. We're starting off with the height. That's when you know.

[Frankie]

That's what you guys do.

[Joey]

I mean, when you start off with your height, or if your height is in your bio, then your dick is tiny. Tiny. I'm six foot even, have my own house. Two vehicles. Vehicles.

[Frankie]

Technically, a bike is a vehicle.

[Ant]

Mm.

[Joey]

And I make over 75k a year.

[Frankie]

Whoa. I mean, I know it's hard out there for people, but, like, to put.

[Joey]

It on here, like, it's like, yeah, yeah. What do you bring to the table? If the answer is someone else's kids, then go kick rocks. No man will ever want you. Stop saying, you're thick, you're obese. Also, you're not a dog mom. You're a pet owner.

[Frankie]

I will say that last. The very last line I am fully on board with. You're not a dog mom. You're a pet owner. That kind of goes hard, but does it?

[Joey]

No, it doesn't. Fuck you.

[Frankie]

No. You call yourself dog dad? No. If anyone says, you have any kids, you say, yeah, and he has four paws.

[Joey]

No.

[Frankie]

If you did, Joey, tell me right now, because I will shoot you in the back of the head.

[Joey]

We got down to the bottom here. This is kind of insane. No, I wouldn't say that, but what do you. No, I'm. I'm definitely beating you. My thing is, like, I don't understand why there's men on the Internet thinking, like, if your objective is to attract women, why is the thought process, like, I'm going to insult them first?

[Frankie]

Well, I. I think there's this mentality that it's just, like, women want a man that's a real man that tells them, like, where's my fucking dinner? And fuck you and your opinions. I'm going to handle everything. Like, they. They think that's what people want.

[Joey]

Do they all sound like Stone Cold?

[Frankie]

I mean, I don't know, but don't disrespect Stone Cold C. Boston, by the way. Not in my house.

[Joey]

Are you kidding me? It's my dream to get stunnered.

[Frankie]

We can make that happen.

[Joey]

I would love to make that happen.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God, it'd be so sick. No, I. I think it's because, like, society tells them, like, men are not men anymore. Now they wear dresses and, and they drink soy lattes and they have, you know, friends that are women, that they're not, you know, like, even straight guys are gay. Yeah, basically. So, like, they feel like the people that are in. Unable to formulate any opinion outside of what they're being told by the media think, like, okay, so in order to appeal to the women that I want, I need to be a piece of.

[Joey]

But, like, I. I understand that. My, my. What I'm saying is, like, it's interesting for me to see guys thinking that in order to make myself look desirable, I have to be mean or I have to say negative things about women. And, like, this is what I bring to the table. So. And. And you don't. Right. It's. It's not necessarily about making yourself be like, okay, if you want to be successful, you want to be in shape, you want to do all those things, that's great. That's a great thing. You don't need to then put down women at the same time because that hurts your chances at being attractive. I don't get the idea that.

[Frankie]

Because you're not an idiot. Well, I know you're not a. That's why you don't get it. That's why I stopped even trying to understand it. When I say, like, I don't get why these people are so stupid, it's because I'm not putting myself in the idiotic mindset to even try to comprehend it. That's why you don't get it. What? So you. I know how you are, Joey. You try to understand things that you don't get sometimes. If you don't get it and you don't understand it, just let it fucking be dumb and idiotic by itself.

[Joey]

I'm just saying, I think that if the objective is to be like, a high value man, the value, like.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God, hold on.

[Joey]

So listen, right? I just want to get this out.

[Frankie]

This is, by the way, like 4 millers deep. This is what we're talking.

[Joey]

Those are Michelobs potatoes. We're on a golf course, can't do anything nice. Yeah. Did you expense those?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

I'm saying, like, if the objective is to be attractive to women, right? And even the term high value man.

[Frankie]

I hate that shit so much.

[Joey]

Same. But who determines the value? I think if, if you're talking about the dating market, the person who makes the value is the opposite person. You know what I mean? Like, you're only a high value man if women see you as a high value man, not if men see you.

[Frankie]

As a high value. You know, I'm not going to say their names, but now all these, like, pro men podcasters that sit there and just be like, you're high value because you're strong. You're high value because you are. Your ancestors killed saber tooth tigers. Like, they have convinced people that are sitting in their basement and playing video games for 20 hours a day, which I'm not saying anything bad about that. I love video games. But like, they have convinced those people that, like, they, they need to go out and grab respect by the horns and rain it, rein it in.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Without giving the respect to other people.

[Joey]

No, and like, that's my point. Like, I'm saying the term high value man. Like, who determines the value? I. It makes more sense to me to be like, well, you're, you're a high value man because a lot of women want you, not because a lot of dudes want you. Like, if you're a straight guy.

[Frankie]

And that's cool.

[Joey]

Well, yeah, no, that's not what I'm talking about though. But like in, in if you're a straight guy, if you're a high value man, that means that women are determining the value because those are the people that are choosing. You know what I mean?

[Frankie]

A supply and demand baby. I completely get it.

[Joey]

So, like, you're saying you want to be a high value man because other men think that you're high value or something. Like you're trying to prove a point to other men. Like, that doesn't. But that doesn't. Like, you're, you're isolating.

[Frankie]

This is what this is.

[Joey]

You're. I know that. I'm not like confused. I'm just like talking.

[Frankie]

But you are confused. And I'm not confused. You're stupid.

[Joey]

What are you talking about?

[Frankie]

I think so. Joey, right before we were recording, was saying that he believes he is a high value man and that people should be impressed when he walked into the room. Like when he, Joey said, he's like, when I walk to the room, people say like, oh my God, that's a guy that means more than anyone else in here.

[Joey]

What are you talking about?

[Frankie]

I'm talking out of my ass now.

[Joey]

Yeah, now. I was getting to a point.

[Frankie]

I Know, And I appreciate your point, but I also think that this is a comedy show that we talk a lot about comedy. Sorry. Catch up. Go ahead, start catch up.

[Joey]

You don't want to talk about that. What do you want to talk about?

[Frankie]

You can talk about. I'm fucking around. Jesus Christ, Joey. I was in the middle of a thing. Good for you. You were in the middle of your thing. You made your point that these people are idiots. We crossed that bridge back at fucking Timbuktu.

[Joey]

Okay? So go ahead. Sorry.

[Frankie]

How's your day going?

[Joey]

It was going good. Can someone explain how this. These things always are bubbling? What is carbonation?

[Frankie]

Carbonation is gas.

[Joey]

CO2?

[Frankie]

Yeah, it's carbon dioxide.

[Joey]

Is it CO2?

[Frankie]

I think so, yeah. That they pump into it.

[Joey]

But there's always bubbles. You ever have a glass of champagne and there's one.

[Frankie]

It's like one bubble getting, like, bigger.

[Joey]

And it just goes one line straight up.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah. What the fuck is that?

[Joey]

How is that a thing? Where does it choose to go?

[Frankie]

Why are we asking Ant? As if he knows. This is the guy that walked over with a vodka Diet Coke.

[Joey]

Crushed it, too. Good for you.

[Ant]

Yeah, I was debating getting another one.

[Frankie]

You should. You should get another one.

[Ant]

No, it's okay.

[Frankie]

You should butt chug another one.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joey]

How many days a week do you think you drink?

[Ant]

Oh, can't answer that on here, can I?

[Joey]

Yes, you can, because your parents aren't listening.

[Ant]

Probably like four.

[Frankie]

That's more than half of the days of the week. That's less than half.

[Joey]

Two.

[Frankie]

Be honest, though. Four.

[Ant]

Four.

[Joey]

Days a week.

[Ant]

Yeah, four.

[Joey]

Let me ask another question. So I'll ask you too. Then I'll get to you because I know your answer is double. If you're going out. Like, let's say we're. We're.

[Frankie]

Set the scene. Set the scene for me. Because going out and like.

[Joey]

Okay, I'm not gonna say. Look, let's. Let's say that, like, Becca and the kids are, like, somewhere else. They went on a vacation somewhere, and you're not there without me.

[Frankie]

Okay. Things okay at home. I'm trying.

[Joey]

I'm trying to set a scene where it's like, you don't have, like, responsibilities to go back to or anything like that.

[Frankie]

I can come out with me and I have no responsibilities.

[Joey]

Oh, that's not what I'm saying. My. You'll. You'll see what I'm saying. If you. If you don't have, like, that whole thing and it's like, okay, you're gonna. You're We're. Me and you are gonna go out.

[Frankie]

And get after it.

[Joey]

I guess. How many drinks do you think that you would usually have on a night out? Like that?

[Frankie]

Well, again, like, are we getting after it or are we just like casually. Just like a dinner.

[Joey]

Okay, so it's like a dinner and then we'll go to a cocktail bar after.

[Frankie]

Maybe like three, Maybe three. I would say one at dinner, maybe two at dinner, and then one at the cocktail bar. But like, if we're going for it and it's like, what's going for it?

[Joey]

Like, I don't know, like the 2011. It's not 2011, it's today.

[Frankie]

Okay. Yeah, I would say three.

[Joey]

Three drinks?

[Frankie]

Yeah, I would say.

[Joey]

How many would you say?

[Ant]

I feel like my answer is kind of boring. I don't. I would just match whoever is drinking the most.

[Frankie]

Yeah, like, you can't.

[Joey]

Whoever's drinking the most out of the group.

[Ant]

That's. I'll find my buddy and we'll go after.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So if we go out. So dinner and cocktails, we're talking about. Let's say dinner's at 7:30 and then.

[Frankie]

We go out for cocktails or. And we're done by like 11.

[Joey]

Okay, so that's three and a half hours.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Like a drink an hour.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I would say.

[Joey]

That's not my answer.

[Frankie]

What's yours more?

[Ant]

My answer is as much as Joe drinks, essentially.

[Frankie]

I think, like, again, like, it. You have to match the atmosphere. If the people at the table are just like, yo, we're gonna have a night, then. Then it's like, all right, it's not.

[Joey]

About having a night because like, if you drink a drink an hour, there's never. Oh, it's going down. Oh, Frank, Frank, Frank.

[Ant]

He wasn't looking at the cup.

[Joey]

Not because. I don't know, I was just curious.

[Ant]

How many, how many would you. How many do you order?

[Joey]

I think then when I go out with my friends, if we're going out, if I go out at like 7:00, I'll usually have like five.

[Ant]

Okay. I'm not going to a place and ordering one. I'm not doing it.

[Joey]

I think, like, I could do one.

[Frankie]

I mean.

[Ant]

Yeah, well, yeah. I'm just saying, like, why am I here?

[Frankie]

I just. I can't do alcohol the way I used to. I. I just can't. Like, this is. This is crazy. Yeah. Like, I don't know how we used to do this and then be like, let's get another.

[Joey]

I think back then, you Were like. I want to say worse and make it like that, but, like, you could drink a lot of beer.

[Frankie]

Dude, I. This is not an exaggeration. If we're going, like, college, I could have drank this and then another. And don't get me wrong, I would have been very drunk.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

But, like, I would have been able to get through it. Bro, I don't think you realize because, like, we also drank. The way that we were drinking was different. Now we're, like, casual. You know what I mean? Like, we're poor. One. We're like, let's. Another. Like, it was just. It was a lot more binge drinking, like, back then than it is now.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

And it was also the way at which we were. Bro, we would drink. Think about this. We would play 10 games of beer pong a night. That's a beer in those. Two beers in those cups. So one beer per person. And we would have a drink in our hand while we were doing it.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Like, you know, that's a lot of fucking alcohol.

[Joey]

It's kind of crazy.

[Ant]

It's a little. Yeah.

[Joey]

When you think about it.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Dude, I. Bro, we have.

[Joey]

If I go out and it's just dinner, it's a little date night.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joey]

Two.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Something like.

[Frankie]

Yeah, one or two.

[Joey]

I don't see my friends that often, so like, maybe, like, I don't know, like, every other weekend on average. Maybe something like that. But there's, like, times where I don't. I don't see my friends for like, a month or something like that. Like, if I'm going out, like, it's usually like, five or six drinks. If it's that sort of.

[Frankie]

If the idea is to go out and. And enjoy, like, day drinking, day drinking, I can drink all day.

[Joey]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, if you're like, oh, we're going to this thing at noon, that's a mistake. My issue is burpee. No, no, no.

[Frankie]

You're burpee boy.

[Joey]

Well, I am.

[Frankie]

Well, you're sorry. You're a hub.

[Joey]

Yeah, because I have that thing. I have a disease. People told me I have a disease.

[Frankie]

You do.

[Joey]

It's called, like, something RPD or you have.

[Frankie]

You have P. Diddy.

[Joey]

No, I don't have p. Diddy. It's RSC3PO or R2D2R2D2DD. But it's something where it's like, you can't burp. So it doesn't.

[Frankie]

There you go. Oh, hiccups. Oh, no, no.

[Ant]

Oh, yeah. I don't know how to pronounce that. It's like retrograde. Croco ferring.

[Joey]

We got, everyone's got college degrees over here. College dungarees.

[Ant]

RCPD. I got the C3.

[Joey]

That's it. Like, when I was talking about it on the show, someone messaged me. They're like, this is what it is. I have it, too. And then I started getting, like, fed a bunch of tick tocks about it and I was like, I don't care.

[Frankie]

So I'm just.

[Ant]

One more beer is going to start swinging.

[Joey]

I'm not going to start swinging. I'm gonna start crying. Oh, I'm an emotional drunk.

[Frankie]

Don't do that. You know, you, you used to be Joey Muscles back in the day.

[Joey]

They were referring to, like, 2013.

[Frankie]

Yep. That's why I said back in the day.

[Joey]

Yeah, 12 years ago.

[Frankie]

Yes, absolutely.

[Joey]

People change.

[Frankie]

No, I know that, obviously. But, like, back in the day, you used to be Joey Muscles. I've always been a very happy, fun drunk. I, I, that's something I hold very, in very high regard. Because we know people that when they drink, it's like, this is the worst person to be around in the world.

[Joey]

Yeah. Do you think that we'll get to a point in life where it's like, drinking is like cigarettes to us?

[Frankie]

Yeah, absolutely. Right. I think, and honestly, I think we're pretty close. There was a study that came out a couple years ago that, like, the generation that's, like, turning 20 doesn't drink.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

They are drinking significantly less. And we, we, we. When we did the Penn State show, we joked about that and they were like, no, we're drinking, brother. But, like, that's a college crowd.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

But I do think that alcohol is becoming less popular, you know, with the current generation.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I think eventually they'll just be a pill that you take beforehand and it, like, just gets rid of the effects. Anyway, like, I think eventually everyone's gonna be able to do whatever they want.

[Joey]

I think people are not drinking because of hangovers. I think they're not drinking because it's, like, not good.

[Frankie]

Well, there is no, I mean, like, he means, like, there's, there'll be a pill in the future. Yeah, like, like you could feel drunk there. It's called drugs, brother. They have those. They have those. They absolutely have them.

[Joey]

It's called drugs, my guy. So that's what that is. But yeah, I mean, we got so close.

[Frankie]

Well, some of us got closer.

[Joey]

Some of us. Are you closer than me?

[Ant]

Yeah, a little. Oh, no. You know, I did Picture. This is how this would end. Frankie's trying. Someone's got to throw up.

[Joey]

I'm below you. I beat you.

[Frankie]

You're in the middle.

[Ant]

No, just take from the spout. Oh, wow.

[Frankie]

I spilled a little.

[Ant]

Damn.

[Frankie]

All right, you win. You win. I can't do this.

[Ant]

He has always said if that's kind of crazy.

[Joey]

I. Sorry, Mom.

[Frankie]

Anyway, mom said, like, don't be drunk on the Internet. No. Well, because I. Sorry, Liz. My mom. Sorry, Nancy.

[Joey]

Is her name Frank. But yeah. 500th episode.

[Frankie]

Next time we'll do this with vodka.

[Joey]

No, you would do something like that.

[Frankie]

It would. It would do it.

[Joey]

That would be the Piggy Boys. Like, we're doing vodka towers.

[Frankie]

Like, yeah.

[Joey]

You guys are crazy.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You guys are sickos.

[Frankie]

You are sickos.

[Ant]

Thank you.

[Joey]

Just want to say 500 episodes of the Basement Yard. Very crazy, I can say. As you know, I. When I started the podcast, I thought of it as a thing that was very supplementary to what I was doing at the time. And just being like, you know, this is cool. I like to. I was the first time I heard myself on a microphone. It sounds really cool to hear your voice. Headphones and through a microphone or whatever.

[Frankie]

I don't like it. I don't like hearing my.

[Joey]

We abandoned the headphones. But I. I did. I was like, oh, this.

[Frankie]

Wow.

[Joey]

This feels, like, very professional or whatever. And it was, like, cool to me, and. But it never felt like the thing. And now it's just brought so much to my life. So I appreciate it. 500 episodes of the show, and it's really cool. I'm really proud of it. I'm glad that you're here doing the thing with me, too, and also happy.

[Frankie]

We'Re doing it together.

[Joey]

He thought I was gonna say something negative. I thought you were gonna say, no, no, I'm happy. Ants here, too. Oh, yeah, we are. Some people hate the addition of you. I'll say that.

[Ant]

Yeah. That's life.

[Joey]

It's fine.

[Frankie]

That's life.

[Joey]

That's life.

[Frankie]

That's what all them people say.

[Joey]

You're flying high in April Shot down in May But I know I'm going to play that tune when I'm back.

[Frankie]

On top Back on top of June and they say that's life.

[Joey]

That's life.

[Frankie]

I can't deny it.

[Joey]

Something else. Thank you guys so much for being around for 500 episodes. Hopefully you're around for 500 more.

[Frankie]

At least a couple more. Give up more.

[Joey]

At least.

[Frankie]

And tell your friends.

[Joey]

Tell your friends. But not even going to do a regular sign off, but we appreciate you guys. Thank you so much. Love it. What a ride. Having a great time.

[Frankie]

Love it.

[Joey]

So much.

[Frankie]

Dub it. Fibs and fubs it.

[Joey]

See you next time.

[Ant]

Beautiful.