#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard - Episode #502: THE NEW TOUR DATES

Release Date: May 12, 2025
Host/Authors: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Presented by: Santagato Studios

---

1. Introduction and Energetic Banter (00:00 - 02:50)

Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez kick off Episode #502 with their trademark lively banter. They exchange playful jabs about each other's style and energy, setting a humorous and engaging tone for the episode.

• Joe: "I've got energy." (00:19)
• Frank: "You got something everyone wants, apparently." (00:35)

2. Announcement of Live Shows and Tour Dates (02:50 - 21:16)

The hosts enthusiastically announce that they are embarking on a new tour, expressing excitement about performing live once again. They provide detailed information about the tour dates, locations, and ticket sales.

Pre-Sale Information:

• Joe: "Tickets pre-sale starts tomorrow." (03:50)
• Code: Use the code "basement" at thebasementyard.com for pre-sale access.
• Pre-Sale Start Date: May 13th at 12:00 PM Eastern Time (10:05)

Tour Schedule Highlights:

1. St. Louis, Missouri - June 28th (11:00)
   • Frank: "Never been there. You been there?" (11:03)
2. Kansas City, Missouri - June 27th or 28th (12:33)
   • Venue details pending due to unforeseen issues.
3. San Diego, California - July 10th & 11th (12:25)
4. San Francisco, California - July 12th (12:43)
5. Atlantic City, New Jersey - July 28th (12:50)
   • Frank: "Frank's backyard, legitimately." (12:53)
6. Minneapolis, Minnesota - July 24th (13:02)
7. Milwaukee, Wisconsin - July 25th (13:06)
8. Chicago, Illinois - July 26th (13:15)
9. Toronto, Ontario - August 6th (13:36)
10. Detroit, Michigan - August 9th (13:41)
11. Phoenix, Arizona - August 28th (13:56)
    • Frank: "That's how you spell it." (13:58)
12. Las Vegas, Nevada - Labor Day Weekend (14:16)
13. Columbus, Ohio - September 18th (14:27)
14. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - September 20th (14:47)
15. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - September 27th (15:01)
16. South Florida - October 16th (15:43)
17. Orlando, Florida - October 17th (15:47)
18. Tampa, Florida - October 19th (15:56)
19. Washington D.C. - October 23rd (15:59)
20. Boston, Massachusetts - November 6th (16:01)
21. New York City, New York - November 13th (16:05)

• Joe: "It's going to be a brand new show, okay? It's not the same show that you saw once before." (20:47)
• Frank: "The pre-sale code is basement." (21:16)

3. Casual Discussions and Humor (21:16 - 38:14)

Beyond the tour announcement, Joe and Frank delve into various lighthearted topics, showcasing their chemistry and humor. They discuss:

• Barbecue Preferences:

  • Frank: "I want ribs to be the stickiest, drippiest, filthy. Yeah." (17:36)
  • Joe: "I also think that everywhere I want to cut it open and then I want to squeeze it and have it piss on me." (18:10)

• Innovative Food Ideas:

  • Frank: Proposes the idea of serving barbecue in unconventional containers like diapers and potties, sparking laughter and playful rejection from Joe.

• Blanket Concepts:

  • Frank: Suggests themed throw blankets marketed specifically to men, incorporating humorous elements like cigarettes and unique scents.
  • Joe: "Smoking gun soap." (35:00)

• High School Memories:

  • The hosts reminisce about their high school experiences, discussing grades, teachers, and memorable moments.
  • Frank: "I was a great student... but people didn't realize I wasn't that cool." (85:43)
  • Joe: "My high school quote was probably horrendous." (78:58)

• Personal Stories:

  • Frank: Shares a story about an unpleasant experience at an Irish restaurant where he was insulted, highlighting cultural differences and personal resilience.

4. Skipping Advertisements (38:14 onwards)

As instructed, advertisements for sponsors such as Kickoff, Squarespace, ZocDoc, and Liquid IV have been omitted from this summary to focus solely on the episode's content.

5. Final Tour Date Recap and Closing (74:06 - 88:14)

Towards the end of the episode, Joe and Frank reiterate the upcoming tour dates to ensure listeners have all the necessary information.

• Joe: "May 13th. Pre-sale code is [e-mail] you can get all the tickets." (76:35)
• Frank: "Thank you. We're really excited and thank you for all the support." (86:51)

They emphasize the importance of using the pre-sale code and encourage fans to attend the live shows across the various cities listed earlier.

---

Key Takeaways:

• Live Tour Announcement: Episode #502 primarily focuses on announcing a new series of live shows across multiple cities in the United States and Toronto.
• Ticket Information: Pre-sale begins on May 13th at 12:00 PM Eastern Time using the code "basement" at thebasementyard.com. General sales start on May 16th without a code.
• Engaging Hosts: Joe and Frank maintain their engaging and humorous rapport throughout the episode, interspersing the main announcements with entertaining discussions.
• Listener Engagement: Fans are encouraged to attend the live tours and participate in the exciting events planned for the rest of the year.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Joe on Energy: "I've got energy." (00:19)
• Frank on Spunk: "They do have something everyone wants, apparently." (00:35)
• Frank on Tour Excitement: "We're going back on the road, baby." (02:21)
• Joe on Buttoning Up: "It's going to be a brand new show, okay?" (20:47)
• Frank on Barbecue: "I want ribs to be the stickiest, drippiest, filthy. Yeah." (17:36)
• Joe on Tour Code: "Pre-sale code is basement." (21:16)
• Frank on Fashion: "You wear diamons and a half-dollar in your eye." (35:00)
• Frank on High School: "I had a deal. ... write the lesson on the board in the morning and I'll give you 15 credit." (85:03)

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For more updates and exclusive content, visit patreon.com/thebasementyard. Remember to secure your tickets early and join Joe and Frank for an unforgettable live experience!

Transcript

[Joey]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard.

[Frank]

Frank, son.

[Joey]

Shut up.

[Frank]

Sunglasses Joe is back. Yes, clearly. And you've got energy, you've got. You've got power, you've got power.

[Joey]

I've got energy.

[Frank]

I've got. You got energy, you got spunk. You got something more energy.

[Joey]

What's that?

[Frank]

What's that?

[Joey]

Yeah, it's some TikTok shit.

[Frank]

What was that song? You got style, you, you got punk, you, you got something all the girls want.

[Joey]

I think we listen to different music.

[Frank]

You gotta let me know. Oh, Nicki Minaj.

[Joey]

In that song.

[Frank]

Maybe. I mean, technically, by definition, you do have spunk.

[Joey]

What is spunk? Oh, is that sperm?

[Frank]

I think that's what the.

[Joey]

Well, no, spunk is like. You have got like a mojo or.

[Frank]

I know, that's what we think. But also like over there, they're calling things something different.

[Joey]

Oh, like Britain. They're like.

[Frank]

In Britain. They're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't need it to do. That's a wine kin, you know. But yeah, technically, you've got style, you. You've got spunk.

[Joey]

Thank you.

[Frank]

You've got something everyone wants, apparently. Oh, which is $40 billion in the bank, right? I wish. Oh, no, no, Joey didn't wish. I wouldn't want that much money. I wouldn't want that much money because then. Because then what? You're aimless. There's nothing you're going to be able to do. All the people around you immediately view you as just a piggy bank. We got it, Joe. I've listened.

[Joey]

I hope that you have. I hope that you have it. And then, and then, then, then you'll see.

[Frank]

You know what?

[Joey]

And then for both of us, I.

[Frank]

Also Hope I have $40 billion.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And if I get $40 billion, you'll get some money too. How about that?

[Ant]

I love that.

[Joey]

He's going to dangle it. He'll be like. And eat this roach.

[Frank]

I don't need to do that. Anytime we talk with him, he's just like, oh, you think you can eat 40,000 Smarties? Like, what's wrong with you? He's got all this question, do you think you can drink 4 gallons of mayonnaise water? And it's like, why do you need to. You guys love doing shit that's just going to make you throw up.

[Ant]

I'm sorry.

[Joey]

You know what? I love.

[Frank]

Doing live shows and we're going back on the road.

[Joey]

We're going back on the road, baby.

[Frank]

I didn't know where you were Going with that, I was a little scared.

[Joey]

I didn't want to bury, you know, it too far into the episode. We got to talk about this shit.

[Frank]

We're doing shows.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're doing shows.

[Frank]

I'm sorry. I'll be honest with you. You surprised me with that. Kind of caught me off guard. I'm a little flustered. My spunk has left my body.

[Joey]

Well, well, you better go and get it and go grab it and put it back in your pee hole. What's up? Ladies and gentlemen, today we're talking about.

[Frank]

The dates immediately demonetized.

[Joey]

Shove your spunk back in your hole.

[Frank]

See? Did you need to do that?

[Joey]

Joey, just put it in a.

[Frank]

This is what glasses, Jo. He comes out hot, yo.

[Joey]

You know what's crazy?

[Frank]

Yes. Yeah.

[Joey]

I don't know what it is about sunglasses. You have that.

[Frank]

I don't think so. I think I'm just a normal person that wears sunglasses when I wear them.

[Joey]

You don't have something that, like, once you. Like once you started wearing a pinky ring, did you start walking a little more?

[Frank]

Like, I did start using my hands differently, you know? You know, like, I found myself just naturally just doing this more, you know.

[Joey]

Like, you want to be like, yo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Just like, you know, and just like, scratch. I found myself scratching my face differently. That's a weird thing. But, like, normally I'd be like. But now I'm like, okay, so that looks very similar.

[Joey]

I don't know if it's the sunglasses.

[Frank]

Like, I will scratch.

[Joey]

I'll be using your pinky.

[Frank]

Yeah, like, I just use my pinky more. Definitely eat sandwiches differently. We've talked about this quite a ton. Yeah. You're like, yeah, you. I eat sandwiches like.

[Joey]

Like two dogs.

[Frank]

Like two. Like two shadow puppet dogs.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I'm just like.

[Joey]

Enough about your sandwiches, guys. We're going back on the road. Tickets, Tickets. By the way, the tickets pre sale starts tomorrow.

[Frank]

Whoa.

[Joey]

If you're watching this, not if you're watching on Patreon.

[Frank]

Oh, okay.

[Joey]

Okay. May 13th. I mean, you know, I can't read all the way.

[Frank]

That's right. And not with those glasses. Polarized.

[Joey]

Whatever that means.

[Frank]

Oh, there's Polaroids in them.

[Joey]

That's what it is.

[Frank]

They're taking pictures. They're taking pictures, too. Okay. No, that.

[Joey]

Polaroid sunglasses.

[Frank]

That means they react differently to sunlight. I understand that because they must, because my employer got us vision insurance, and I'm very appreciative of that. Boom, boom. But nerd fucking giggles. He's no longer giggles. Now he's big, deep laugh boy.

[Ant]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Frank]

We need to stop being mean to Aunt Joey.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yo, the comments, they were so on your side, it's crazy.

[Frank]

I don't know what, like, they think.

[Joey]

That, like, I made a comment.

[Frank]

We're, like, abusive people.

[Joey]

No, no, no. I was. I was saying, like, there. I did see, like, it was like, one or two comments that were like, I don't really like the addition of Ant. And I said it in passing on an episode, or you said it or something. And then everyone came to your defense. Like, I love Ant. And I was like, all right.

[Frank]

Love is crazy.

[Ant]

I love them, too.

[Frank]

It sounds like it's a plant. You know, Ant just decided to go on his futube account. And, like, you know how they say Finsta is fake Instagram?

[Joey]

Oh, my God. Well, they're fired, I think, after that Futu.

[Frank]

Fu is Food Tube account. Or his Finster or his Fitter or his Facts. Whatever. Oh, X. Because it's no longer Twitter.

[Ant]

Well, I appreciate it.

[Frank]

Well, Jesus, did you hear the rumor? I know that you got to get.

[Joey]

To that we're not that.

[Frank]

Apparently he named it that because he wanted his jump to be the logo. You know how jump. You know how Elon Musk jumps like a fucking. Like a teletubble. Like a knickknack?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Remember those toys from the early 2000s?

[Joey]

I actually don't, but I feel like you're right.

[Frank]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he, like, did that so, like, his body jumping could look like.

[Joey]

Dude, I don't know.

[Frank]

Dude, did I ever tell you.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

With bated breath watching this.

[Joey]

So do you remember how, like, I'll think of something, or I'll have a dream in the middle of the night and then I'll write it down in my notes app?

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joey]

I wrote down this thing, and I don't know what time I wrote it, but it was like a middle of the night type of thing.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joey]

And I wrote, newborn babies look like if you successfully shoved Elon Musk into a water bottle.

[Frank]

Come on, Joey. Come on, dude. You can't. You can't spring that on me and then expect to move off that.

[Joey]

That's what I said. I will be honest with you. Right. So I went a lot of my life seeing newborn babies and being like, let's give it a second before we. With the cute comments, you know, because, like, they just got out here. Let's give them a second to adapt.

[Frank]

Yeah. Let them Adjust.

[Joey]

They're a little purple. They're a little smushed, misshapen type of things. Give it a two.

[Frank]

Oh, I get it.

[Joey]

You know what I mean?

[Frank]

I completely get it.

[Joey]

But like, Greg's newborn and our friend Eleni, both beautiful newborns.

[Ant]

I texted Greg that exact thing.

[Joey]

I was like, this is a good looking baby.

[Ant]

Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

[Frank]

Oh, I didn't get those pictures.

[Ant]

That's not fair.

[Joey]

I didn't get those pictures.

[Frank]

Just wanna.

[Joey]

Well, I'm not.

[Frank]

Look around. Wait, hold on.

[Joey]

Time out. You don't get to have that reaction because you're going, oh, I know what you mean.

[Frank]

Oh, I know. Yeah. How about you? My fucking newborn daughters were.

[Joey]

That's what I'm saying. You're saying, oh, I know.

[Frank]

When.

[Joey]

I'm talking about newborns not looking good.

[Frank]

No. Most newborns look like aliens. I agree. Greg's newborn. I haven't seen Eleni's. I, I, what about my daughters?

[Joey]

They're beautiful children. Go back to what?

[Frank]

When they were newborns.

[Joey]

I actually don't remember.

[Frank]

If I show you right now, will you give them your beautiful? Because I'm pissed now. Now you got me worked up. Give me the glasses, bitch. Wait, what were they beautiful newborns.

[Joey]

I don't remember. I don't know what they look like. I can tell you this. I can tell you that my own nieces and nephews, I've seen some pictures and I was like, who?

[Frank]

You know, I'm going to have to let this breathe a little bit. You know, I'm pulling pictures up because I'm furious now. Now you got me. Now you got me.

[Joey]

I can't give a compliment without you needing compliments. What is this?

[Frank]

When you're specifically complimenting other people's newborns, I would hope that you feel similar, if not the same I have about my newborn daughters.

[Joey]

The baby was born three.

[Frank]

That's Maeve. Let me see that where you are.

[Joey]

I can't see.

[Frank]

Yes, you can. Take your glasses off.

[Joey]

That's a beautiful baby.

[Frank]

Thank you so much. One more, bitch. Now we're doing this. I'm itchy. I don't know why my back is itchy. I'm gonna do this now. Now. It's gonna be a while. Yeah, it's gonna, it's not gonna be a while. I don't post enough that I can be like, oh, no, where is everything?

[Joey]

Really? Because it looks like you're swiping the hell out of the thing over there.

[Frank]

Ruby.

[Joey]

I like Maeve better, but That's a beautiful baby.

[Frank]

This is crazy. This is crazy. They were both equally beautiful.

[Joey]

Yeah, but you have to say that.

[Frank]

I'm infuriated right now. No, I don't. That's the thing that's secret, is that they don't tell you, is that you feel this chemical thing that like no matter what your kids look like, they're beautiful.

[Joey]

I believe that. Yeah.

[Frank]

I'm on the edge.

[Joey]

Why?

[Frank]

Of fucking pure rage right now.

[Joey]

For what? What are you talking about?

[Frank]

I don't know. But I'm there doing. I don't know what I'm. What I'm about to be enraged about.

[Joey]

First of all, I was making a joke that newborn babies look weird.

[Frank]

You agree? I agree. I agree. But not mine.

[Joey]

Okay, you can have that opinion. That's fine.

[Frank]

You just said it. If you don't have that same opinion, I'm going to throw something.

[Joey]

Where are you throwing it?

[Frank]

At you.

[Joey]

What are you throwing? Wait, if I would. I gotta think you're tell me.

[Frank]

My newborn daughters were just as beautiful.

[Joey]

They're beautiful babies. Yes.

[Frank]

You heard the babies part, right? You saw the asterisk that he put on it. They're not babies when they're born, we're gonna move on. No one said your babies were ugly. I'm starting to get. I'm starting to get worked up.

[Joey]

I can't even make jokes now. It's crazy.

[Frank]

No, no, no, no, no. Yes.

[Joey]

You get it? Yeah. I'm echoing what you're saying now. You have beautiful daughters and a son who's also beautiful. Can I say that?

[Frank]

I can't. I mean handsome. Sure.

[Joey]

Yeah. Now I just feel like a grandma with the handsome. Anyway, can we get to the reason why we're here? I feel like we've blue balled you guys enough, but we. Oh, there we go. Okay. I thought I deleted everything. Listen, we're going back on the road. Tickets are on pre sale tomorrow with the code basement. At the basement. Yard.com as always. Okay, so May 13, pre sale will start, I believe, at 10am but didn't ask that question. Let me type that to greg real quick. 10:00am Pre sale starts, question mark. We're going to get to the end.

[Frank]

Also, is that 10:00am our time or 10:00am local time?

[Joey]

That's a great question too. I have no idea.

[Frank]

You need to figure that out.

[Joey]

So let's go over some dates here. Okay. We're opening up this tour. St. Louis. Okay. June 28th, we will be in St. Louis, Missouri. Never been there. You been there?

[Frank]

If chances Are if you have not been. I have not been.

[Joey]

You've been to Missouri? Nope. First time for everybody. Never been there. I don't even think Greg's been there.

[Frank]

Greg, the old I've been there, by the way. Oh, yeah, Greg. Been there. Ain't that. Been there. Seen that. By the way, while we were in Europe, there was a legitimate series of conversations between you, Zach and Greg, like, in competition with each other about, like, who's been to the more places.

[Joey]

Oh, I've been to the least out of them.

[Frank]

I know. But, like, it was, like, so interesting to sit there and, like, listen to that. Because anything you said, Zach was like, yeah, I've been there.

[Joey]

Zach's been to, like, 20 countries.

[Ant]

Wow. They dragged me into that at dinner.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Anyway. Yeah, because you were like, oh, no.

[Frank]

12.

[Joey]

And then you counted. It was like, six.

[Frank]

Okay, well, he's gone to Aruba 55.

[Joey]

Times, so this guy was counting everything at Epcot.

[Frank]

I went to Morocco in Florida. Yeah. So I had a drink over in Mexico, and then we went over to Finland. Is that there? Yeah.

[Joey]

Okay, so St. Louis. June 28th, we will be in St. Louis. Kansas City. We had a date lined up and then I think the venue exploded. Something like that. The H Vac doesn't work. God knows what, but we're trying to figure out a date. Then most likely it will be June 27th. But by the time you see this, the website will be updated. So even right now, as you're listening to this, you can go to the basementyard.com you will see the dates there. But Kansas City, we will be there.

[Frank]

San Diego.

[Joey]

Okay. July 10th and 11th, we will be in San Diego. That's in California.

[Frank]

Yeah, correct.

[Joey]

And then on the 12th, we will be in San Francisco. Francisco.

[Frank]

Fun word to say.

[Joey]

It is a fun word to say. Then we will be in Atlantic City in New Jersey. Frank's backyard, legitimately.

[Frank]

Yeah. I live a little. Little whiles away from there.

[Joey]

Backyard is Atlantic City. And that will be on July 28th. Then we're going to Minneapolis. Never been there. Been there. No. Been there.

[Frank]

I connected.

[Ant]

About to go.

[Frank]

I was gonna. Oh, yeah, that's right, you're about to go. I connected. I had a flight connection there.

[Joey]

Keep her warm for us because we're gonna be there on July 24th. And then Milwaukee on July 25th. Okay.

[Frank]

The reason you wanted to go there is because they call it the Cream City. And Joey's so into that.

[Joey]

Love the Cream City. Not only that, but then on July 26, we are going to get some hot dogs in Chicago. Coming back to Chicago. Then we're going back to Toronto. Okay. August. August 6th, we'll be back in Toronto.

[Frank]

Detroit. Detroit.

[Joey]

What? We're going to Detroit.

[Frank]

August. You gotta be real careful.

[Joey]

August 9th, okay, we're going.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Then we're going to Phoenix. August 28th. Guess how hot it'll be.

[Frank]

Phoenix.

[Joey]

That's not a difference.

[Frank]

That's how you spell it.

[Joey]

It does.

[Frank]

That's how I remember it.

[Joey]

It's going to be 115 horse degrees out there.

[Frank]

Horse degrees? What's a horse degree?

[Joey]

I don't even know.

[Frank]

Is it like, you know, plus seven or whatever they do for, like, dog years?

[Joey]

Why do they measure horses and hands? So dumb. Use them.

[Frank]

You use a rule. Really? And they're like. It's five hands. Whose hands? Who is this?

[Joey]

But yeah, we're gonna be in Phoenix. August 28th, Labor Day weekend. We're gonna be in Vegas.

[Frank]

Vegas.

[Joey]

Okay. We're gonna be there. Unsure of the date, but it'll be, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, somewhere around there. Still figuring that out. But Labor Day weekend will be in Vegas, then Columbus, Ohio. Ohio. We are going to be there September 18th. Pittsburgh. September 20th.

[Frank]

We got it. We have a round three for Pittsburgh.

[Joey]

Round three for Pittsburgh. Hopefully we can, like, go to a game. I don't know if they're there.

[Frank]

Regardless of what's going on. Like, Pittsburgh, first time I went, amazing. Second time, not so hot. This is gonna be the tiebreaker. This is the rubber. This is the rubber game.

[Joey]

The rubber match. September 27th, Philadelphia. We're coming back.

[Frank]

All right.

[Joey]

We're coming back to Philly, then South Florida. October 16th will be there. Okay, we're gonna go to the Hard Rock, then Orlando, October 17th, Tampa, October 19th. Then we're going back to D.C. october 23rd. We're going to Boston on November 6th. And then we're ending the tour once again in New York City on November 13th. Okay, so we got a bunch of shows now for the rest of the year.

[Frank]

And it's crazy because this is the year 2025. So 25 and 11 plus 13 is 24. And. And we are one show. So you think about that. The numbers line up perfectly.

[Joey]

I'm gonna get a nosebleed trying to figure that out. 12:00pm Eastern for all venues. Okay. Pre sale and general on sale. Like I said, pre sale. May 13th with the code basement@the basementyard.com general sale. Which means you don't need a code. The basementyard.com on May 16th. Okay.

[Frank]

And. And listen. And for the people whose first response is, oh my God, no Delaware show. Listen, guys, there's more that goes behind the scenes than. Than you think. So let's have a party. Let's have fun time.

[Joey]

Also, I mean, things get added along the way. Things that added along the way. We don't know what's going to happen. We have no idea. So whatever. But these are the shows that we have right here. I'll be honest with you. I don't know about things being added on the way. Honestly, there's not much time.

[Frank]

Joey's like, things are added. I was like, I'm looking at it.

[Joey]

I'm like, there's not any day.

[Frank]

Well, it's the polar. It's. The polar bear is Asian.

[Joey]

That's what it is.

[Frank]

That's what it's gotta be. That's what the polar bears of these cities.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Any that you're really excited about. I've heard a lot about barbecue in St. Louis and in Kansas City. Yeah. What do they call. The. One of those is called something Missouri. Yeah. I don't know. But like there's some bar. I hear that they. They. I set Hot Ping. I've heard they've had good food over there and I'm excited.

[Joey]

Get a rib.

[Frank]

Don't, don't, don't.

[Joey]

Rib.

[Frank]

You know how I feel about ribs.

[Joey]

Yeah, you do.

[Frank]

You know how I feel about you.

[Joey]

Like to get them all over your hands and face while you're God.

[Frank]

One of the best. Like, what are we eating? And then just the execution is just stellar.

[Joey]

You remember how we just talked about how you want. We want to be filthy Ribs is when you're disgusting.

[Frank]

Oh, a good. And I'm talk and like, listen. I understand. A dry rub. I get it. If. If you present a dry rub option to me, I'm presenting an AK47 to your skull. I want this thing to be the stickiest, drippiest, filthy. Yeah. Soaking wet.

[Joey]

Yeah. I also. Everywhere I want to cut it open and then I want to squeeze it and have it piss on me.

[Frank]

Dude. When people cut brisket or burgers and then they do that thing where they flip it on top of each other and they go like this. And then that thing is just fucking urinating all over my fucking aluminum foil.

[Joey]

Full diaper.

[Frank]

Oh, my God, I want a diaper. I want a diaper of brisket, baby. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Overnight diaper. So like they have extra moisture absorption.

[Joey]

Okay. Know what I'm saying to the Specifics. He's a dad.

[Frank]

Pull ups too. So you. It does the work. The blowout cover. With the blowout cover, you need that blow up protection barrier. Okay, Yeah, I want. Listen.

[Joey]

Oh, hear me out. You just sucked in all the air.

[Frank]

What if we have a barbecue joint? We open a restaurant, it's a barbecue joint, but it's all themed after like diapers. So like it'll be like a curry brisket or curry flavored ribs. And it's in a diaper.

[Joey]

You want to serve.

[Frank]

Hold on, hold on. And then like you get nachos and it's in a diaper.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Or like a kid's toilet.

[Joey]

Wait, oh, you want to serve nachos in a potty.

[Frank]

For some reason.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

The idea up here was stellar. One of the best.

[Joey]

As it came out of your mouth.

[Frank]

As it made its way through my neurological pathways, I don't think that it went. I think, I think coming this way, it didn't hit as well as I thought it was going to.

[Joey]

I also think that.

[Frank]

But like I'm just talking about just like a filthy. Yeah, you know, like the messier you get, the less on your bill. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

I kind of like that.

[Frank]

Like you, if you walk out of there just like a filthy, disgusting fish.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You pay less. Like the cleaner you are, they give you a surcharge.

[Joey]

I saw something on the Internet the other day. Hold on, before I get into that, just to reiterate, we're gonna do this multiple times. There's May 13, which is tomorrow. If you're watching this on YouTube, pre sale starts at noon. I almost called it midnight at noon, 12pm Eastern. Easter, everything.

[Frank]

Look, set your phone. You set your phone to New York time, baby. Easter, wherever you shall be upon this rock that we call earth.

[Joey]

The basementyard.com. the pre sale code is basement. Be ready. This is a brand new show, okay? It's not the same show that you saw once before. It's a brand new show. It is going to be so much fun. We are very excited. And just to go over the cities again. St. Louis, Kansas City, San Diego, San Francisco, Atlantic City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Toronto, Detroit, Phoenix, Vegas, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Philly, South Florida, Orlando, Tampa, D.C. boston, and of course New York.

[Frank]

And if you for some reason forget that the presale code is basement, just remember that it's where Joey first saw pictures of wieners. That's a pretty easy way to remember that.

[Joey]

Why are you saying that?

[Frank]

Just if people need help. Well, if people. If people for some reason Are like, what is the code? And then they just remember that the first time that you saw a picture of a wiener, whether it had been flaccid, fully erect, whatever it was in your basement.

[Joey]

Why do you. Why? But why?

[Frank]

Just in case they need help, remember.

[Joey]

But I don't know if that's true.

[Frank]

That they won't remember.

[Joey]

I think that was the first time that I saw a wiener.

[Frank]

So where was it? In your bathroom?

[Joey]

I have a brother. I saw his wiener.

[Frank]

Insane response. Was it in the basement, though?

[Joey]

Probably not. Probably peeing. Probably peeing in the back. We took baths together.

[Frank]

Okay, listen, Joey. Chances are the first time you saw a penis was in your basement. I think that's a way to say that. I think. I think it's. It's a room in your house. I think it's fair that the people, if they for some reason forget they have that to fall back on.

[Joey]

You guys could fall back on the name of the show. The name is the base.

[Frank]

Sure. That all the coats are basement. That can help.

[Joey]

Making up a scenario about me.

[Frank]

See, I'm not making anything up. I'm suggesting some form of a strike student. Like some. Some way for the people to have a better understanding and help them remember.

[Joey]

Making up is what.

[Frank]

I'm not making it up. I'm suggesting making up.

[Joey]

But yeah. May 13 pre sale basement I was gonna say something and now I forgot. I shouldn't have done that.

[Frank]

But we have to sell tickets, I think. Oh, do we go to that? Like, do we go to a barbecue restaurant where it's just like. They just have like a fucking dragon ribs or something?

[Joey]

What the hell are you talking like.

[Frank]

I'm talking like a table of ribs. I want to go to a restaurant that. My favorite restaurants don't have tablecloths on them. And you know what the fuck I mean? You know what I mean? And like, they don't serve your food on plates. They put it on paper or they just give you a metal tray.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

You know, I mean, I've only been.

[Joey]

To a couple places. Like, usually barbecue does that.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, So I think it's. I probably should. You said barbecue might be my favorite.

[Joey]

You know what I want to do? I want to go to one of those restaurants where they call you a bitch.

[Frank]

No. Do you know, like, you show up Dick's Last Resort.

[Joey]

What's that?

[Frank]

I think that's what the plate. The one that would, like, put a hat on you and it says, like, fucking. Yeah. Loves to Fucking eat marbles or some shit.

[Joey]

That being the example that you had is so funny. Have you ever been to one?

[Frank]

No. I walked by one a ton when we, like, used to go to Vegas when we were younger.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I, like. It was. It's like Hooters. It's like, the gimmick is just like, oh, boy. What are they gonna say?

[Joey]

I wait, didn't you accidentally go to one of these places when we were in Ireland?

[Frank]

Oh, no.

[Joey]

Guy was like, you ordered tea and the guy's like, that's gay. Yes, but he did it two days in a row.

[Frank]

But no, the second day, I went, he wasn't there. And I said, what happened to him? And they said, like, they're filming a movie across the street. And they told him to leave. They were filming.

[Joey]

I thought he called you gay two days in a row.

[Frank]

No, the first day. The second day, someone else there called me gay. It was.

[Joey]

This is why I'm saying it might be a shit.

[Frank]

No, no, it wasn't. Like, maybe it was the gimmick, but, like, it was a little hole in the wall spot in Dublin that was like.

[Joey]

It was like dicks all over the wall or something.

[Frank]

There was dicks everywhere, brother.

[Joey]

See, this must be one of those places.

[Frank]

But no, it wasn't a chain. It was just like. I looked up, like, local. I, like, Googled, like, best English, not English, Best Irish breakfast in Dublin. And it was, like, one of the first places that popped up. So I, like, looked at it, and I was like, oh, this is right near where we were staying. So I was like, I'll just walk there.

[Joey]

And it was covered in penis.

[Frank]

No. So outside, I walk up, and it's just an old, grumpy Irish man.

[Joey]

Nice.

[Frank]

And I'm not gonna do the impression because I haven't got my Irish impression down yet. Yeah, but, like, he's just like, are you American? I'm like, yeah. He goes, oh, you did? He really? Yeah. And I'm like, great. He's like, all right. How many? I was like, oh, just me. He's like, you're dining alone and you're an American. You're a piece of shit. Like, he was going off, dude, bro. Going off.

[Joey]

I'm surprised you, out of all people sat down there. I feel like you'd be like, bro.

[Frank]

I was by myself, and I was hungry, and I was in a good mood.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

So I sat down at the bar by myself, and he's like, all right, what can I get you? An Irish coffee. And, bro, they had A giant thing on the wall. A ju. Like a Magnum, triple quadruple Magnum, bottle of Jameson with, like, a spout underneath it. And he's like, you want an Irish coffee? I was like, no, I'll take a tea. And he goes, you want a tea? I'm like, yeah. And he goes, that's so fucking gay. I'm just like, what? It's tea.

[Joey]

Was everything else normal?

[Frank]

The food was normal. The atmosphere was normal. Besides the penis abundance of cocks everywhere.

[Joey]

What is with that?

[Frank]

I. Yo, I don't know. And were they actual or that they.

[Joey]

Just looked like penises?

[Frank]

No, they were, like, meant to look like penises. And I was just like this. I. I don't know if it was, like, a restaurant gimmick or if it was just this old man at the door, right? And he was just. He'd go from table to table.

[Joey]

Was he calling other people gay?

[Frank]

Yeah. Hell, yeah. Everyone in there was gay. What? Yeah.

[Joey]

Dude, no wonder they kicked this guy out.

[Frank]

I don't. I. So they legit. I'm not kidding. They said they were filming a movie across the street. They had to. They told him, like, you need to not be here today for the filming of this movie. Wow. I don't know if that meant he was, like, a fucking problem. Yeah, chances are he was.

[Joey]

Sounds like it.

[Frank]

But, yeah. Dude. And. And, like, the food was great. It was good. The potential. But it was also like, you know, like, that level of, like, that age of men where they're like. They call everything gay, but then they act super gay with their buddies.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

You know what I'm talking about? Like, they were the ones that were, like, in the showers at football practice, and they were, like, grabbing each other's balls and stuff like that. You've never heard that? Like, he was doing that where he was saying, like, joking around, like, oh, we're buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like, well, I'll kiss you right now. Yeah. You know, like something like that.

[Joey]

But he said you were gay. And he said. He said it.

[Frank]

I was very confused because, like, a part of me was just like, did.

[Joey]

You look at your receipt? Was there, like, a slur Charge?

[Frank]

I just realized how good of a.

[Joey]

Joke that was because it sounds like Search.

[Frank]

Yeah. That was incredible. Yeah.

[Joey]

In retrospect.

[Frank]

Yeah. Just say, edit that.

[Joey]

Make it seem like I.

[Frank]

Back pocket. Back pocket. Hey, Josh. Oh, you're not even gonna say anything? He gets it. He does. He's watching. But, yeah, dude, I was crazy, but I've never been to one of those where they, like, verbally berate you, I.

[Joey]

Think that would be funny. But I probably get my feelings hurt.

[Frank]

Here's the thing. Yeah. And you know me, I would be very good at that. So, like, I probably shouldn't go to one of those places because it would just be a verbal spat.

[Joey]

I would be nervous about going to a place like that with you because I feel like for the most part, it would be fine. But I think if in a. In a certain mood or a certain thing that someone said, and once Frank starts going like, okay, all right, then I'm gonna be like, we gotta leave now. Because this is gonna turn to Frank being like, all right, I've had enough of this thing. I'm like. I was like, okay, okay. I'm like, oh, fuck.

[Frank]

If I. If, like, hindsight, moving back in time, if I could have picked my first ever job and I knew that place existed.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

I should have taken that job.

[Joey]

What was your construction your first job?

[Frank]

No, no, no. I was a groundskeeper at Elm Jack.

[Joey]

That's right. You did. Tell me.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah. And then, like, a couple of years later, I worked at, like, a medical. Like a sports therapy place. Just, like, filing paperwork. Yeah. Basically, I would show up. We'd be out the night before until like, 4:00am And I'd show up and. Would you wear scrubs?

[Joey]

Yeah, I would love a pair of scrubs.

[Frank]

I think that scrubs such. So cool. Such an underrated part of that world.

[Joey]

When dudes are walking around the city that are like, nurses or doctors or whatever and they have scrubs on.

[Frank]

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Joey]

This is cool.

[Frank]

I don't like that.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

I don't like that.

[Joey]

I think that's awesome.

[Frank]

You should let me tell them how to do their thing.

[Joey]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Frank]

Scrubs should be. Because in my mind, the reason they're doing that is one. It appears like it's a medical thing. You know what I mean? Like, it. It's only used in that. In that field. So, like, the idea to me is that it should appear to be, like, it's sterile and, like, they're only wearing it within the. The confines of where they are. Bro. If I. It's like seeing your teacher during the day. If I'm out and I see someone in scrubs, I am immediately take. It's like seeing, like, Mickey Mouse take his helmet off, you know? And I'm just like, you're a teacher.

[Joey]

At the movies and you're like, you're not allowed to watch.

[Frank]

Yes. What the hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't like it.

[Joey]

All right? I mean, I get what you're saying, cuz, like, maybe you're like, dude, the scrubs that you're wearing in the surgery, you're like walking through Central park with those on.

[Frank]

I imagine that they can't do that. Yeah. I imagine that, like, they have to wear special gear.

[Joey]

Maybe it's just after work, it's like, I'm off my shift, I'm going to walk to the bar, get a beer with some scrubs on.

[Frank]

I'll tell you, this single guy with.

[Joey]

Scrubs in the city, forget about it.

[Frank]

Probably. I'll tell you this, the rolling out of bed and throwing scrubs on and going to work is phenomenal.

[Joey]

Don't even have to think about the outfit.

[Frank]

Not even think about the outfit. But, like, it's comfortable. Yeah. I mean, you should wear like an undershirt under the top because the top just looks like it's. It's like a, like a, like a small hockey jersey, you know?

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

But you know what I like wearing?

[Joey]

You know when you got to get a. An X ray and you got to wear the big jacket.

[Frank]

Do you like it? Do you like weighted blankets?

[Joey]

Yeah, but I don't like owning it because, like, I can't fold it.

[Frank]

You can't fold a weighted blanket, bro.

[Joey]

I mean, unless you have the strength of 10 men.

[Frank]

What do you mean? Like, it's the same amount of weight. It's just as a blanket.

[Joey]

Wrong.

[Frank]

No, no, it's not. Like folding it makes it a heavier blanket.

[Joey]

No, it's just like annoying. Like, it's hard to fold things really.

[Frank]

I've never had a weighted blanket, so I can't.

[Joey]

I had one and like, laying with it is great. Like, it helps you, like, sleep and not move and shit. But then when I'm up and I.

[Frank]

Wake up, it's like, here's, here's the thing. I am going, if I'm gonna get a weighted blanket, I'm getting the heaviest weighted blanket I could find. I'm not doing like a. A ten pound for like a little bit of a hug. I want like a 75 pound weighted blanket. Because I like, if I'm gonna feel, bro, I'm a bigger dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm massive. I'm so big.

[Joey]

You don't need that much to, like, get done.

[Frank]

They also. What job?

[Joey]

The job of holding you down in bed.

[Frank]

I don't know if I'm gonna be held down.

[Joey]

That's what the blankets do.

[Frank]

No, it's meant to just feel like someone is holding you, not holding you down. Dude, I don't want to be like.

[Joey]

Fucking, bro, you get a 75 thing that you. You fucking. You're down.

[Frank]

Well, it's also. They say that you need to be very careful with kids in the house having weighted blankets, because, like, yeah, you. That could be, bro, a nightmare.

[Joey]

Also, like, if you pick this thing up and you drop it on a child.

[Frank]

Dead kersplat. Well, bro, if you drop anything. £75 on anyone.

[Joey]

Not £75. I think the one I had was like 10.

[Frank]

Well, no, I've seen they have ones that go up to like, 50, 60, 70.

[Joey]

Those for.

[Frank]

I'm telling you, you can look that up there. But they're expensive, too. They're like a couple hundred bucks.

[Joey]

60 pounds is insane. Why not necessary? And also, like, where do you put that? You know, you make your bed, it's 60 pounds.

[Frank]

You know what's funny is a couple years ago, I got Becca a quadruple X. Like the biggest blanket that you could imagine from this company. Because Becca, you know, when we do, like, when we, like, lay around and watch stuff, we like being cozy, cuddly. You understand? Oh, yeah. You know, you're a big, cozy, cuddly guy. And it was like a 10 foot by 10 foot blanket. Or like 12ft by 12ft also.

[Joey]

You're all fucking tucked in a cocoon, bro.

[Frank]

Dude, you can literally fit all of us under it and then some like.

[Joey]

A can of sardine.

[Frank]

The only thing I didn't realize, though, is that folding it is the most difficult thing in the world.

[Joey]

Hate it.

[Frank]

You know, But.

[Joey]

But just to get all wrapped up like a flower in a bouquet.

[Frank]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Joey]

Just circle around.

[Frank]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Joey]

I hate throw blankets that are just short enough that, like, when I put it on my body, I either have to decide between it being here or in, my toes being out, or my toes being out and my nipples being out.

[Frank]

No, hate that. Yeah, I need my nipples covered. You know what we need? Here we go. Big business guys back.

[Joey]

Are you about to create a blanket?

[Frank]

No, I'm gonna do what the rest of the world is seemingly doing. I'm gonna take the exact same product.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I'm gonna put splashy words in front of it and market it only to men. So men think like, what the hell? Not this fucking target blanket.

[Joey]

Okay?

[Frank]

You know how they'll be like, here's a bar of soap, but we're gonna call it thick soap.

[Joey]

Yes. Smoky gun.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

Smoking gun soap.

[Frank]

It'll be the exact same product, but we're gonna put flashy marketing toward men words in front of it.

[Joey]

For just a blanket.

[Frank]

Yeah. It'll be like five o' clock shadow throw blanket.

[Joey]

And I think men think throw blankets. Blankets. Throw blankets are, like, gay, which is.

[Frank]

Why there's such a demand for men's throw blankets.

[Joey]

Yeah, dude.

[Frank]

And it could be like this throw blanket is made with, like, oxtail fur.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And like, it's. It's scented. With cigarettes and titties. Yeah.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know what I'm talking about. Cigarettes. It's just, it's. It's a market that has not yet been cornered, and we need to get to it before the Rock does. Okay. Because this guy, he took. He took skin care and just put his face on it, and now it's a multi million dollar industry for him. You know, that's the tough part.

[Joey]

Yeah. So I love a good throw blanket, man.

[Frank]

I love a blanket.

[Joey]

You know what I like, actually, I don't even know if I like them, but I like a part of them. You know the blankets that are like, knitted by old women?

[Frank]

Quilts. No, those are different.

[Joey]

Like a knitted blanket.

[Frank]

I know. You're like, crocheted blanket.

[Joey]

A crochet blanket. Yeah. Sometimes I like having that. And then I put my toes.

[Frank]

I know. I knew it. I knew you were gonna do that.

[Joey]

You put your toes through the holes and you're like, oh, I'm wearing.

[Frank]

I knew you. You flare your feet out.

[Joey]

And then I wear the blanket like a sandal.

[Frank]

I feels good, dude.

[Joey]

I don't like that. They have such a draft, but I still wear it.

[Frank]

What's that thing where, like, it's like, I like. There's a phobia that's. There's a phobia that, like, people are afraid of. Like when there's too many little circles next to each other or dots next to each other. You have the opposite of that, where it makes you want to suck it and fuck it.

[Joey]

No, no.

[Frank]

Because this. Anytime you have honeycombs, you suck them. Anytime you had those, like, diner mints, you would let them get porous. Suck them. You. That. You see holes in a blanket, you shove everything you got in them.

[Joey]

Not everything.

[Frank]

Be very honest with me, okay.

[Joey]

No, I've never put my penis in one of the holes.

[Frank]

Okay. All right. I don't know.

[Joey]

How do you know?

[Frank]

Giggle, giggle. He goes, yeah, right. He has. I've seen it.

[Joey]

He's banging the blanket. You ever bang a blanket?

[Ant]

I've tried.

[Frank]

J.D. vanj might.

[Joey]

What is I've tried.

[Frank]

Wait, wait.

[Joey]

What is I've tried. What is. I've tried. What is that?

[Ant]

Or more failed?

[Frank]

Well, if in order to fail at something, you need to try, but, like.

[Joey]

What do you mean?

[Frank]

Too big for the crochet blanket?

[Joey]

You couldn't even fit it in the.

[Frank]

Yeah, no. Well, the only way to fail banging a blanket is to just not bang it.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

So chances are, you banged.

[Joey]

What'd you do?

[Frank]

I think he might be referencing the conclusion of that, of said banging. Maybe it didn't get you to where you needed to go. So you banged a blanket and you consider that the not finishing is the failure?

[Ant]

Yes.

[Frank]

Correct. All right, I don't want to ask more questions because.

[Joey]

So moving on.

[Frank]

Was it. What color was the blanket?

[Ant]

Maybe.

[Joey]

Why do you know?

[Frank]

Because he remembers. It's his story. What do you mean? Why do you know? He's like, was it your blanket or was it a family blanket?

[Joey]

Was it the one that got away is my question.

[Frank]

I got another business idea. I got another business idea.

[Joey]

We're gonna wait on that. We do have some sponsors for today, the first one being Kickoff. Okay? If your credit isn't perfect, you can really feel like your. The system is stacked against you. But Kickoff is going to help you build your credit immediately for only $1 for your first month. Okay? Autopay helps you build credit while you sleep and never worry about missing a payment. You can. You could sign up in minutes from your phone. There's no credit check. You can cancel anytime. It has over 1 million users and hundreds of thousands of positive reviews. There's a reason why Kickoff is the number one credit builder on the App Store. Okay? So if you've got bad credit, you want to build your credit back up, this is a good way to help you with it. Users with credit score under 600 grew an average of 84 points in their first year. With transparent, affordable plans Starting at just $5 a month, no hidden fees and zero interest, Kickoff helps you score big or when it comes to credit. Okay, so start building credit with Kickoff today, and you can get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off of the normal price when you go to getkickoff.com basement today. That's kickoff without the C, by the way. So it's get K-I K-O FF.com basement okay? You must sign up via getkickoff.com basement to activate the offer. Offer applies to new Kickoff customers. First month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Average first year credit score impact of 84 points between January 2023 and January 2024 for credit. For credit. For Kickoff Credit account users who started with a score below 600, who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary. Vary. Okay, and we also have Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to be building your website. Okay? It is a website that will help you market whatever product you have. If you have an E commerce business or you make content or whatever the case is, if you have, if you need a website. I believe that everyone should be building a website with Squarespace. I've used other ones in the past. This one's the best. It's the one that we always use. So. Yeah, and that's, you know, our website is powered by Squarespace. So they have templates that make it very easy for you to create a website, a professional looking website in a short amount of time. You just have to swap out the text and the photos and whatnot. And they also have a lot of tools to help you optimize your traffic, let you know where it's coming from and how to, you know, help you market it and make sure everything is optimal. Okay, so right now you can head to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay, so go to squarespace.com basement you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain when you're using that code basement.

[Frank]

And you know what, whatever journey you want to go on, let the basement yard come along with you. Okay? And where could we, where could we hold hands and skip along this personal journey? You may have patreon.com the basement yard. Folks, I tell you about it every single week. We tell you about it every single week. You sign up for this Patreon, you get exclusive, exclusive access seven days early for that first with that first year to these weekly episodes, okay? And then that second tier, you get exclusive doubling, tripling the exclusive just for you episodes every Friday. And they're just for your eyes. And guess what? If you joined today and you're a first time patient or you were gone for a little while. Listen, we understand you get every episode that's been backlogged. So whatever you missed, whatever you haven't Seen is there for the taking. So go to patreon.com the basementyard in order to sign up today. And listen up. Okay. You want to save yourself a couple bucks? Well, our Apple Oval Bloop. Our apple. Our apple overlords. They. If you sign up through the Patreon app, you have to add. There's a. There's an additional surcharge. You want to save that money, whatever that money may be, because it's very important. You can go to patreon.com the basementyard on a web browser and sign up there. All right. We want you guys to take this journey with us. It supports us directly and, you know, keeps the lights on. So thank you guys. We appreciate it. We love you. Patreon.com the Basement Yard. Go check it out. So the idea that I had is, you know how like they have like anime pillows that people marry. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about.

[Joey]

I know that that has happened. I don't know that they're made to be.

[Frank]

I don't know if they're made to be married, but they, but right. None of us are technically made to be married. But along the way we figure out that we're going to marry.

[Joey]

I mean, tell that to the Christians, dude.

[Frank]

Okay, I'm not going to talk to them. I. I think that they've tuned out of this show a long time ago. Okay. Yeah, hear me out. Marryable or like the same thing with pillows, but they're blankets. And like when you fold them, it's like, you know, like me like this but like standing up. And then you open the fold and it'll be mean fucking buck naked. And it's. And it's knitted so like, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, it doesn't work because I don't have a vagina. But like, say it was someone that does have a vagina. Okay.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The blanket is knitted. So you know how you like to fuck your blankets? You too.

[Joey]

You just point at me saying that.

[Frank]

Well, you toe fuck your blankets is what you're doing.

[Joey]

No, I wear it like a sandal. That's so different.

[Frank]

Okay. What's the difference?

[Joey]

Wearing a sandal and having sex? If you don't know the difference, there might be something going on over there.

[Frank]

Just. I think that this could be a multi million dollar industry.

[Joey]

I know that you think that.

[Frank]

Well, why not?

[Joey]

You know what the. You got glasses on too. Why are yours purple? You look like a fly.

[Frank]

Oh, you do? Doesn't it like a fly.

[Joey]

Yeah, you know, like fly, bro. Flies. By the way, low key, if you get really close to one them, they're weird looking.

[Frank]

Yeah. Flies.

[Joey]

Two big eyes are mad.

[Frank]

You ever seen a like an ant? Really? Up close, they're like. Yeah.

[Joey]

Their mouths are like vertical. I know. They go.

[Frank]

I don't think they have pincers. Well, they have mandibles, I think is what you're referencing.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

But like, I think they also have, like, mouths like us.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

But like, flies. Do they have like a bunch of eyes? Am I making that up or.

[Frank]

They got two. I think they have two eyes. But like, in the eyes, it's like a honeycomb looking shape. Right. And it's like they could see a bunch. Right.

[Joey]

But they got two big goggles with a. What are you doing? Oh, you're gonna keep going up. Okay.

[Frank]

What?

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

What are you talking about?

[Joey]

I thought I was gonna.

[Frank]

Yeah, no, I. I don't know.

[Joey]

Purple shaded glasses is a choice. I will say that.

[Frank]

I love that. Love that choice. I once had a T shirt with purple shaded glasses on it. And what is that for? It was Stewie Griffin.

[Joey]

Stewie Griffin T shirt.

[Frank]

I had a Stewie Griffin T shirt. And he. It was his face. And he had on aviators. And. And I'm pretty sure maybe the shirt was purple, but Stewie Griffin had on aviators on my shirt. Best shirt I've ever worn, obviously. I mean, that's the best shirt you've ever worn.

[Joey]

What did it did say anything on it?

[Frank]

Now that I think about it, I had a lot of Family Guy T shirts.

[Joey]

Yeah, you did.

[Frank]

I had.

[Joey]

But like, what did the shirt say?

[Frank]

Nothing. It just had glasses on. Yeah, I could find the picture, but I. I might have to just send it to aunt after.

[Joey]

I don't need to see it. I don't need to see the photo.

[Frank]

You sure? Yeah. It was a pretty cool shirt, now that I think about it.

[Joey]

Yeah, I know you had that. You had a lot of cereal T shirts.

[Frank]

I have a question. Good. And this is a serious question.

[Joey]

Oh, okay. Hold on. Good.

[Frank]

Is there a problem with me liking to match?

[Joey]

What does that mean?

[Frank]

Because, like, we were recording something the other day and Greg was just like.

[Joey]

Oh, hey, man, you're very matchy.

[Frank]

You're very matchy. And I was like, yeah, I like to match. And he's like, what did he say? Something along the lines of just like, it's not 2009 anymore or something along.

[Joey]

Something like it's time to grow up.

[Frank]

It's time to grow up.

[Joey]

Yeah, something like that.

[Frank]

What's the issue with matching?

[Joey]

Because. Yeah, because he. I think he was referencing, like, your shirt, your hat, your shoes, and maybe your pants.

[Frank]

It's funny because he is a he. I like Greg's sense of style. I think he has a good sense of style. I would also define his as matchy, though.

[Joey]

It's matchy. I mean, isn't.

[Frank]

It's hot kettle.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that it's supposed to match in some capacity. Right?

[Frank]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if it was supposed to go together. If it was just like, I'm out because I. I understand. I am not always up to date with fashion trends, music trends.

[Joey]

You don't have to listen. You could just say everything.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

Fashion trends, music trends, pop culture.

[Frank]

Like recently, like, lynch also told me, he's like, hey, man, don't ever let anyone tell you that skinny jeans are out of style. I like my skinny jeans. I like my clothes to be a little form fitting.

[Joey]

You wear skinny jeans? Yeah, sometimes.

[Frank]

Yes, I do. And I have no problem with it.

[Joey]

Sometimes you do have jeans that are like, whoa.

[Frank]

Well, that's because that daddy's put on a quit quite a little bit of thunder. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

You're just storming right now.

[Frank]

The forecast is.

[Joey]

Frank, here's the thing. It's not. You didn't put anything on you. It's power is what it is.

[Frank]

That's what I think. I mean, it's also about how I feel.

[Joey]

Right, but you feel powerful.

[Frank]

I don't feel as powerful. I can look exactly the same and be active every day, and I feel like I could move a brick house if I wanted.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

But it is the power.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

I don't consider myself out of shape. I consider myself powerful or not powerful.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

Does that make sense?

[Joey]

It does. In Star Wars, I think they talk a lot about power. Forceful. That's not something I'm gonna call myself ever.

[Frank]

I'm very forceful. That's a very different podcast. Not us. Yeah. Although your glasses indoors definitely seems to suggest that you're on that show.

[Joey]

Okay, relax. I.

[Frank]

With of the force coursing through you is what you're referencing, Right?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Pivoting.

[Joey]

Mm.

[Frank]

So there was a story that came out recently. Yeah. And I wanted to talk to you about it. There was a truck carrying $800,000 worth of dimes. Like coins. Yeah. And it's. And it. And it.

[Joey]

I didn't think it was 800,000 hot women.

[Frank]

Just absolute dimes, baby. Yeah. It's not 2009. We don't refer to women as objects anymore. Well, we don't.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

Other people might.

[Joey]

I'm sure it does happen.

[Frank]

Yeah. And it flipped over or it crashed and the money went everywhere. Okay, my question for you is, how much money. If you saw this on the side of the road, how much money can you get away with? And we're talking.

[Joey]

Was it. Was it $800,000 worth of dimes?

[Frank]

Okay, so not 800,000 dimes. Right. $800,000 worth of dims. It's like the argument where it's like, what's heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of brick?

[Joey]

So basically you're saying, if there's $800,000 worth of dimes right here, how much can I get away with?

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

Is it just on my person?

[Frank]

Well, it's on the side of the road, so. Oh, okay. But you have.

[Joey]

Can I, like, funnel it into my car? You have.

[Frank]

You have 60 seconds.

[Joey]

Okay, 60 seconds is tough. 60 seconds.

[Frank]

It's basically you load up and then you go to your car. So, like, what do you think you can carry?

[Joey]

Yeah. You're not over there, like, taking a bucket and throwing in your back seat type of.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

What you can get. Okay.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

I think if I walk over there, if I got a hoodie on.

[Frank]

Hoodie. Oh, neck. Well, that's what I'm thinking.

[Joey]

Well, I was gonna say, like, I would take a piece of cloth. Oh, you know what I would do? Take my pants off.

[Frank]

Oh. And then I tie the bottom.

[Joey]

Tie the bottom.

[Frank]

You're wearing jeans.

[Joey]

What does that mean?

[Frank]

You can tie the bottom of your jeans. Joey, whom are you?

[Joey]

Yeah, well, you.

[Frank]

Where you wear jeans more often than not. Or shorts. And in that case, you're triple.

[Joey]

Yeah. Okay, well, how. How many dimes can I hold?

[Frank]

Let's do some.

[Joey]

I will shove some in my pockets.

[Frank]

Duh.

[Joey]

I could probably get, like, close to a hundred bucks in my pocket.

[Frank]

Right? How much? Well, how much? I don't know how much a dime weighs.

[Joey]

Forget about how much a dime weighs. I. Dimes are small. I can probably fit, like, 10 dimes is a dollar.

[Frank]

For those of you guys that are in the United States, I can fit.

[Joey]

Like, 60, $65 of dimes in a pocket.

[Frank]

For those of you guys that are not in the United States and may not be familiar with our currency system, a dime is 10 cents. 10 cents. 10 of those make a dollar. 100 cents. Make dollar one. So you're thinking you could shove your pockets and walk away with $100.

[Joey]

How many is that? Six. How many? 650 dimes. No, what?

[Frank]

It would be a thousand.

[Joey]

6,500 dimes is.

[Frank]

Is $650.

[Joey]

Yeah, right. Oh, no, I'm saying 65. No.

[Ant]

$65 times 10.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah. 650 dimes could definitely put that in my pocket.

[Frank]

You think so? I think so, bro. I'm getting way more than that in one pocket. In one pocket. First of all, I wear deeper pockets because I'm a powerful man. I'm more powerful than you. Okay?

[Joey]

Ant's gonna walk away with the most money because he's got cards. He's like, I got pockets on my knees.

[Frank]

Jokes on us. The pockets on this boy. I mean, those shit shorts are. You're walking away a multi millionaire, let me tell you.

[Joey]

Take off my shirt and then try to like tie the holes of the thing and just shove. Mad time you're.

[Frank]

By the time you got those things I said you have 60 seconds. By the time you have those things tied, you don't have the time.

[Joey]

You've never seen me tie a shirt hole.

[Frank]

Tie it right now. Tie a shirt right.

[Joey]

I've never done it.

[Frank]

Exactly. So technically you're right. I've never seen you do it. But you've also never seen you do it.

[Joey]

I think that if there's all those dimes, I could probably walk away with like 600 bucks. 600 bucks?

[Frank]

What do you think that weighs five pounds?

[Joey]

I haven't even thought of that, bro.

[Frank]

No way, cuz. Dimes are also light. They're not like, they're thin and they're skinny, like quarters.

[Joey]

What are you. What are you thinking, bro?

[Frank]

I'm walking away with at least five grand. Get. Are you. You don't think so? Why?

[Joey]

They're like, dude, you have to carry $5,000 worth of dime. That's 50,000.

[Frank]

I think I have shoes that I could fill with dimes. Socks I could fill with dimes. I have pockets I could fill with dimes. I have hands that I could fill with dimes. I have, bro. I could fill my mouth up with dimes. Who said I can't?

[Joey]

Frank, you could fit $13 in your mouth.

[Frank]

I would say we should try this. That would be very dangerous. Let the picky boys do that. All right, guys, today we're gonna see how many dimes we could shove in our mouth.

[Joey]

How many. How much money you think you're walking away with?

[Ant]

With my pants?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Oh, multi millionaire.

[Ant]

This guy I could probably get.

[Frank]

He's. I could get all of it.

[Ant]

I could probably get a thousand pounds.

[Joey]

Nope.

[Ant]

A thousand dollars. Thousand dollars.

[Joey]

We're Britain now.

[Frank]

Yeah. All right, maybe 5,000 was a bit of an exaggeration, I imagine.

[Joey]

First of all, that's an exaggeration. You're not getting a thousand dollars.

[Frank]

All right, I would say let's. Let's go by. Because they're light. How much does $100 worth of dimes weigh?

[Joey]

Am I guessing?

[Frank]

Let's guess. Let's guess.

[Joey]

$100 worth of dimes. That's a thousand dimes. I would say that probably weighs like, four pounds. That's wrong.

[Frank]

So you can't walk away with 400 pounds.

[Joey]

It's not about the weight. It's just about, like, how much I could fit in a pocket like that. You can't fit that many in a pocket. I could pick up all the.

[Frank]

That's the point. We didn't. We didn't. We didn't calculate volume here. I'm going purely. I'm going purely. I. I'm going purely based off of weight. I don't care about.

[Joey]

Carry a lot more dimes than I could, like, walk away in that situation. We have that many pockets.

[Frank]

Those people that pay for, like, parking tickets and, like, buckets of coins and shit like that.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I would say.

[Joey]

How much is it? Wait, how much. How much is $100 worth of dimes?

[Frank]

I would say like a quarter of a pound, bro.

[Joey]

It's. That's insane.

[Frank]

All right, all right. A fucking. At most a pound.

[Joey]

I'm actually gonna change my answer to, like, £10.

[Frank]

You think you can get £10 worth of.

[Joey]

No, I think that a hundred dollars worth of dimes probably weighs somewhere from eight to ten pounds, bro.

[Frank]

They're small.

[Joey]

They're the smallest coin, but it's a thousand of them.

[Frank]

Yeah, but they're small and they're light.

[Joey]

How much does it weigh?

[Ant]

It weighs five pounds.

[Joey]

A quarter of a pound.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

What do you think they're made out of air? It'll get there.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So.

[Frank]

So wait, so a hundred dollars is five pounds?

[Joey]

Oh, dude, I ain't walking away with.

[Ant]

So your $5,000 would be 250 pounds.

[Frank]

$5,000. 250 pounds? Yeah, I could do that.

[Joey]

You're carrying 250 pounds, bro.

[Frank]

I can do that. I could a 1,000% do that, bro.

[Joey]

That'S carrying a watch.

[Frank]

This big guy watch. This draped all over your watch This. A hundred pounds on my shoulders. Like, I Could squat. You could squat 100 pounds.

[Joey]

How you. What do you mean, on your shoulders? Like, how would you get dimes on your shoulders? What are we talking about?

[Frank]

Let's say I have, like, a. Like, if I just have, like, a sack in my car, I could put it on my shoulder.

[Joey]

Santa Claus.

[Frank]

I can. Sure, I could put that on my shoulders, and then it's another £150. 75 in a bucket. 75 in a bucket? Yeah. You can't deadlift £75 on each hand, Frank.

[Joey]

I'll throw it against the ceiling if I want.

[Frank]

That's what I'm saying. I think I could walk away with a couple grand.

[Joey]

It's not about weight. It's about, like. First of all, you're just changing the rules as we go along. Now you have buckets. Now you could just fill up two buckets.

[Frank]

Like, that would take. All right, you're right, you're right, you're right. What am I. If we're wearing what we're wearing right now.

[Joey]

If we're wearing what we're wearing right.

[Frank]

Now, you're in trouble.

[Joey]

I'm in huge disarray.

[Frank]

You're in a big old fat problem.

[Joey]

I would probably ant.

[Frank]

Still has. He's gotten more.

[Joey]

He does have.

[Frank]

Any time he walks in. We should. We should do, like, a line on how many pockets today. Set the line every day at, like, every three and a half, you know? Or. No, just my numbers. Three and a half. Five and a half.

[Joey]

Yeah, I would say, right? Like this. I'd probably get, like, not that much, dude. I. I probably get, like, maybe 150 bucks. I don't know, because I got.

[Frank]

Can you. Can I see the pants you're wearing? Can I see.

[Joey]

It's like this. I have pockets.

[Frank]

Oh, those look deep, though. And you have butts there. I see a zipper pocket in there.

[Joey]

Where?

[Frank]

There's a. Is there. No. Okay, man. If you had it down the leg, you got it down the leg. It doesn't matter. That helps, dude, I could fit four.

[Joey]

Bucks in there maybe.

[Frank]

I mean, four bucks, baby.

[Joey]

And then if I could take my shoes off and carry my shoes, I could do that.

[Frank]

And your socks, babe.

[Joey]

And socks.

[Frank]

And socks. You catch me on a day where I'm wearing loafers and flowy pants. Yeah, we got a problem.

[Joey]

I can't carry that many times, though.

[Ant]

I think I get 500. Realistically, I think.

[Joey]

How are you carrying $500?

[Frank]

Shorts.

[Joey]

I got a hat.

[Frank]

Oh, I always wear hats. I always wear hats. You can't hat all this.

[Ant]

I don't have shoes. That's a problem.

[Frank]

That is right. You do not. You are wearing sandals. Flip flops.

[Ant]

I think I do it. I take this off, tie it together, the arms.

[Joey]

I can get all this 5,000dimes the out of here.

[Frank]

Yeah. If you were able to tie that together. Yeah. Oh, if I was wearing a turtleneck. If I had prep time, I'd wear the right clothes. Turtleneck.

[Joey]

Turtleneck joggers. Way to a recital and then a truck flipped over all these dimes.

[Frank]

I'd wear construction boots. The sketcher boots. Bring those back.

[Joey]

No, I wear rain boots or galoshes.

[Frank]

Sure.

[Joey]

What's that?

[Frank]

Those are rain boots. Or like waiters. What if I wore waders?

[Joey]

I don't even know what that is.

[Frank]

Waiters are like people that like. Yeah, they are. I'm talking like the people that, that like they fish and they like stand in the water. Yeah. They have that rubber like overalls.

[Joey]

Cranberry field guys.

[Frank]

Yes, yes. In the bogs.

[Joey]

Fill that up.

[Ant]

Overall is a good answer.

[Frank]

Overalls is a great answer.

[Joey]

Is like fine.

[Frank]

No. But waiters are smart because the boots are built in. Yeah, the boots are built in. So wear waiters.

[Joey]

Yeah, but if you fill that up, you can't move.

[Frank]

It's rubber.

[Joey]

You ever go to someone's house and they have all this change in a. In a giant thing like if you can move it, it's yours and you can't move it.

[Frank]

Oh, I've.

[Joey]

It's happened to me.

[Frank]

I once I had. I I at Ralph's house. Ralph had one of those. Didn't you guys have one of those, like a five gallon water jug where it was like a ton of change?

[Joey]

It was like a water jug like that that Ralph had. I think.

[Frank]

Yeah. Glass, five gallon filled.

[Joey]

And then it was like his dad was like, if you can move it, it's yours.

[Frank]

I was like, basement, bro, don't give me that challenge because I'll move it and then you're gonna owe me the money, bro. Fill up a fucking five gallon jug with water. With coins. The heaviest coins you could think. I'm moving it. Moving in what capacity? Shift it, tilt it, get it from A to B. I could do it. You're just gonna have to.

[Joey]

I don't know why that the heaviest cost you could think. We have choices of four maybe like diamonds, quarters, nickels. Nickels, bro, get the fuck out of pennies. What a bitch ass coin. Pennies are cooler than Nick.

[Frank]

Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, dollars, Half dollars?

[Joey]

Half dollars. Half dollars are cool.

[Frank]

Nickels, bro.

[Joey]

Dumb.

[Frank]

Half dollars were cool because they were the only one I could fit my eye and, like, go like that. Like I was wearing a monocle.

[Joey]

What, you put a diamond. What do you put a half. A half dollar, half dollar in your eye?

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

They were big, too. Remember the size of those?

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen one in a long time. Who's on that?

[Frank]

Jfk, I think. Jfk? Yeah.

[Joey]

John Jacob. He's on those.

[Frank]

Yeah. John Fake up. Kingleheimer Schmidt.

[Joey]

Frederick, I believe. But I don't know. Fitzgerald is his name.

[Frank]

John Fitzgerald Kennedy?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. Junior. Was he Junior? Yeah. JFK junior Bro, who was the one that. That was the president.

[Joey]

JFK Jr. That's a good question, now.

[Frank]

That I'm thinking about it, because I.

[Joey]

Know RFK Jr Jr wasn't. No, it was just JFK was the president, and then he had his sting.

[Frank]

You know, gotten rid of.

[Joey]

Bang, bang.

[Frank]

Yeah, that was. That was something. I have a. I have a half dollar that My grandmother.

[Joey]

You ever go down that rabbit hole?

[Frank]

I. I don't. I can't. I can't go.

[Joey]

I've watched the assassination frame by frame multiple times.

[Frank]

The Zapruder film, as it's called.

[Joey]

I have seen that. Oh, and we drove by it.

[Frank]

Did we drive by it in Dallas?

[Joey]

I drove over the spot where he was shot.

[Frank]

Oh, really? Yep. When?

[Joey]

When we were in Dallas.

[Frank]

But, like, were we all in the.

[Joey]

Car or was there two cars? You know what it might have been?

[Frank]

You know what it might have been? Because, remember, I went and got a haircut, and then you guys went to that somewhere and then the mall after. And I met you at the mall.

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't. I don't think you were with us, to be honest with you.

[Frank]

I just have to say that's the best haircut I've gotten my entire life.

[Joey]

In Dallas.

[Frank]

In Dallas, Texas.

[Joey]

Wow.

[Frank]

And technically, it was outside of Dallas. I don't remember. What was the name of that area?

[Joey]

Arlington, maybe.

[Frank]

Nope.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

It was not Arlington.

[Joey]

I don't know, bro. I've been there once.

[Frank]

Yeah, all right.

[Joey]

But I drove over the X, and I was like, oh.

[Frank]

But I can't. I can't get into conspiracies. I. I just. I don't have the time for it.

[Joey]

Dude, I love it. But we do have some more ads. This is a long episode. Mama's Home. Okay, here we go.

[Frank]

Zoc.

[Joey]

Doc, how you doing, guys? If you want to find some doctors Appointments, you're going to want to use ZocDoc.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

Before they were sponsor on the show I was using them anyway, so I'm very excited because I think it's cool. But it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Okay. You just go on the website, you put in your insurance and then you put in your area and you put in which kind of doctor you want to see. Either you want to see a primary care physician, a dermatologist or whatever it is. And then they will show you the ones in your area, the ones that are closest to you, their next available appointments and their rating. They're patient reviewed. So if patients have a good experience with them, they'll have a high rating. I believe it's out of five. And then you can book your doctor's appointments. Okay. I've used it multiple times. Okay. I don't think I, at one point I'd never been into a dermatologist until I was like 20. So when I actually later than that I was like 25. But that's how I found a dermatologist because I use Zocdoc. And yeah, so that's what it's used for. So it's great. But yeah, so you can get same sometimes you can score same day appointments. They have appointments usually within 24 to 72 hours. So quick turnarounds like that. But stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a top ready doctor today. That is Zocdoc.com basement okay, Zocdoc.com basement go get your doctor's appointments. And lastly here we have liquid iv. Okay, Liquid IV have them all the time. I've been running a lot lately and sometimes I'm really bad with drinking water because we're recording or doing whatever. So after work if I go for a run and I get back and I'm like, I need to replenish. Okay, I'm doing a liquid IV and they're great. I mean they have three times the electrolytes of leading sports drinks plus eight vitamins and nutrients all in a single stick. You just pop it open, you put it in a glass of water, you shake it up. They taste amazing. Right now I'm running through the lemon lime pack, but they have essential B vitamins. B3, B5, B6, B12, excellent source of vitamin C on the go. Hydration. Okay. If I'm going for a Longer run. I have this little thing that has two water bottles and usually I'll put a liquid IV in one of those and I'll take it with me and I'll drink it while I'm on the run. But it's great, so it'll keep you hydrated. And they also taste amazing, honestly tastes like candy. But they also have sugar free ones which is awesome too. But it's got the electrolytes in it. It's important. But you can get ready for the summer with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to LiquidIV.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout. Okay. LiquidIV.com use the code BASEMENT at checkout and you will get 20% off of your first order. Okay? Enjoy Fox show show the.

[Frank]

You said this is the greatest shirt.

[Joey]

You ever wore, by the way. Frank, I love that you saw that because I know you bought that at Target.

[Frank]

No, this is way pre Target, dude.

[Joey]

I mean you could still shop at Target.

[Frank]

No, I must, I must have gotten it from like you know that store that used to be in the mall that carried all those graphic tees packs on. No, no, no. It was like not a name brand store where it was like you can get like the Cookie Monster tea and then it was one that says like the man, the myth, the legend and.

[Joey]

Pointed at your penis and it pointed out your dick. Do you remember there was a guy who came to one of our shows and it said like Frank Alvarez, Joe Santa gotta or opposite.

[Frank]

I don't even know what you see.

[Joey]

The picture of that.

[Frank]

Maybe I don't remember.

[Joey]

I don't know what it means. I meant to ask.

[Frank]

Yeah. What the hell does that mean?

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

First of all. Yeah, I think we could agree.

[Joey]

Hold on. What are we agreeing on?

[Frank]

Your face would be the face.

[Joey]

Why? You got a great face.

[Frank]

I like my face. But like you're the money making face, dude.

[Joey]

You think my face is better than your face?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Because I want to say that you.

[Frank]

Keep up with it more sometimes.

[Joey]

My face? Yeah. What does that mean?

[Frank]

Like you, you groom and shave more. You're getting haircuts more frequently. I haven't gotten a haircut since October.

[Joey]

You got a great face.

[Frank]

I like my face.

[Joey]

And your hairline.

[Frank]

Well, that's crazy. All right, so if we could put together the ideal face between our faces. Okay.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

It's going to be your facial hair. We can agree to that. Bananas. Facial hair.

[Joey]

Okay. I'll take it. But I don't know if that's even my bottom lip.

[Frank]

What?

[Joey]

I thought I was going to.

[Frank]

You have a good one. But your top lip is stronger than my bottom lip.

[Joey]

My top lip is better than your top.

[Frank]

Way better than my top lip. Yeah. Okay, okay. Who's.

[Joey]

Whose eyes? Whose eyes? I think I have good eyes.

[Frank]

You have great eyes, Joey. You have blue eyes, dude. Yeah, or like hazel.

[Joey]

Your hairline and hair. Duh.

[Frank]

I'm sorry. Can I have this?

[Joey]

Can I have this? Can I have it, Frank? Take it.

[Frank]

Yeah. How about this? I'll take the hairline and the hair. Give me your hair color.

[Joey]

You don't like your hair?

[Frank]

I like my hair color.

[Joey]

What is it, black?

[Frank]

Yours is. Well, technically, no. No, hair color is naturally black. It's just dark brown. But, like, the. The salt and pepper you got going on, you know, it's working.

[Joey]

You're so horny for that.

[Frank]

Horny is a weird word.

[Joey]

Who's got better ears? I don't even know what my ears look like. Who's got better years? Aunt.

[Ant]

Look at me. Dead on, Frankie.

[Frank]

Dead on. Yeah. Why? Why dead on?

[Ant]

Well, because I got to see it for, like, how wide they are as well.

[Frank]

So now we know how. Judged by Bass's ears.

[Joey]

Yeah. Look at me, Joe.

[Ant]

I think Frankie has better ears.

[Joey]

Okay, so we got. Frank.

[Frank]

Don't hit that.

[Joey]

Frank's hair and hairline. Frank's ears. Frank's bottom lip, Joe's top lip. Joe's eyes.

[Frank]

Yeah. What can we. How do we feel about my eyebrows and nose?

[Joey]

I think. I think.

[Frank]

I think. Remember when I was saying powerful before?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I think my nose carries quite a bit of power and strength.

[Joey]

I don't feel any way.

[Frank]

Becca tells me that all the time. She's like, I love your nose. And I've always. I've been fine with it, but now that my wife likes it, I'm great with it.

[Joey]

Okay. You know, she's instilled confidence in you.

[Frank]

That's the way it works, baby. Right. Marry someone that brings you up.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

My nose. Yeah. You're cool with that?

[Joey]

Cool. I don't feel any way about my nose. I think we're gonna. I'm gonna have to take eyebrows from you, though.

[Frank]

From me?

[Joey]

From you.

[Frank]

Oh, like, your eyebrows are nicer, but can you do this? Oh. Ooh, watch.

[Ant]

Well, can you do that?

[Frank]

Both, bitch. Nope.

[Joey]

No, I can't.

[Frank]

It depends. Honestly, it depends on the style. If we're talking early 2000s, super skinny Rachel Vice and the mummy eyebrows, you win.

[Joey]

I don't even know that. I don't even know.

[Frank]

You know, what about a compromise?

[Ant]

His eyebrows. Your eyebrow dexterity.

[Frank]

Oh, now we're getting into.

[Joey]

I don't even know what that means.

[Frank]

That. Oh, my movement.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So I have movement and emote ability. Okay, I'm fine with that. Yeah. Okay, so I need someone who animates the show to make this. Okay.

[Joey]

Whose neck? Because I got a big one, and I don't know if that's good or bad. What size is your neck?

[Frank]

I think it's at like an 18 right now.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

Yeah, dude.

[Joey]

No, it isn't.

[Frank]

I think so.

[Joey]

Oh, then I.

[Frank]

Well, last I got. Last I got fitted for a shirt. It was like 18 or maybe 17 and a half.

[Joey]

I'm 16 and a half.

[Frank]

I think you have a baby neck, dude.

[Joey]

Well, mine. I feel like mine's so thick. Maybe you should have a small head.

[Frank]

Well, you do. You work out your traps quite a bit.

[Joey]

I haven't.

[Frank]

Oh, I used to when I was younger. Okay. I think, man. I mean, who's. Who. Who is the judge of this ant?

[Joey]

About what?

[Frank]

Our neck. Whose neck?

[Joey]

Whose neck turns you on more?

[Frank]

Facial hair excluded. Wait, why are we doing turning him on more? Why. Why is that? And. And now.

[Ant]

So it's probably Joe's neck.

[Frank]

Wait, but wait. My neck has built in strangulation defenses. Watch this. Someone comes to strangle me.

[Ant]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[Frank]

Can't strangle that.

[Ant]

No, but that's pretty good too.

[Frank]

Look at this. Look at that.

[Joey]

I can do that.

[Frank]

I could also do this.

[Joey]

What is that?

[Frank]

I can move my throat. It's a crazy thing to say.

[Ant]

You know, we need that skill for the. For the setup.

[Frank]

Yeah, just like.

[Ant]

Okay, Joe, let me ask you a question.

[Frank]

You see, do you have that.

[Joey]

First of all, that's gross.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

Do you have back dimples?

[Frank]

I don't know. Honestly.

[Joey]

I caught myself in the mirror and I got him.

[Frank]

The Internet's going wild. I like, your feet are everywhere. You got back dimples.

[Joey]

I was, like, walking by and have a mirror like this.

[Frank]

Oh.

[Joey]

And I looked and I was like.

[Frank]

That'S crazy.

[Joey]

I got a little back dimple.

[Frank]

That's crazy.

[Joey]

Like, two of them.

[Frank]

I might. I don't know. I'll have to ask Becca.

[Joey]

Turn around, let's see.

[Frank]

I'm not open. I'm not sure if I do have back dimples. They're for one person only, bitch. And it ain't Joe Sanado.

[Joey]

I'm going to see them.

[Frank]

That's crazy.

[Joey]

I'm going to see those back dimples you got.

[Frank]

Back dimples?

[Ant]

No, I don't think so.

[Joey]

He was so confident. No, I have no idea. All right, someone build that face, though.

[Frank]

Build that face.

[Joey]

Skin tone.

[Frank]

Come on. Yeah. No, you. You understand.

[Joey]

I'm just saying we. We want to give all the information. Tongue.

[Frank]

Tongue. My tongue. Here's the thing. My tongue is often. The other day, we're recording, and in the middle, Greg goes, why is your tongue so green?

[Joey]

It was comically.

[Frank]

I had some big league chew on the way to the office. Sue me.

[Joey]

It wasn't that it was green. It was that it was like a.

[Frank]

Like, pastel green.

[Joey]

Yeah, I was like, what is that?

[Frank]

You're. You have a big ass crack in the middle of your mouth, unlike your tongue.

[Joey]

Yeah, I thought you were talking about my ass crack.

[Frank]

No, no, no, no, no. And your. Your tongue has. You have a big, like, ridge. Yeah.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I don't know. Someone build that face.

[Joey]

Yeah. Build a face.

[Frank]

Build a face. I think it's not bad. So funny to see that someone's gonna do it, and we're gonna be mortified, maybe.

[Joey]

Man. Who can do it? Who knows? Building our perfect face.

[Frank]

Building the perfect face is a. That's a toughie.

[Joey]

Yeah. You know, just name the episode.

[Frank]

Well, that was. That came at the very end, I imagine. We wouldn't name it that because people would be like, where do they talk about this?

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Ant]

Well, they have to wait to find out.

[Joey]

It's obviously gonna be about the tour dates, though.

[Frank]

Yeah, okay. Sure. Already forgotten.

[Joey]

That's happening. Which, by the way, that we're here.

[Frank]

Again, if you want to enjoy a sloppy, stinky rack of ribs in a diaper.

[Joey]

Yeah. Come on down to Frank's Diaper Barbecue. Is that crap? No, it's barbecue sauce. Is that a crap blowout in that diaper? Nope, just a rack of ribs.

[Frank]

Rib meat, shoved into a hot dog bun.

[Joey]

I've seen that rope one. I've seen that. Where they put a rib in there with, like, a bone, bro.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You ever see a guy.

[Frank]

I know who you're talking about. Yeah. If it doesn't slide off, it's free.

[Joey]

Well, no. Yes, Obviously, that guy. But no, there was one where it's like, there's a sandwich, and it's. It's wrapped up in aluminum foil, and there's a bone sticking out, and he.

[Frank]

Yanks that and he just goes.

[Joey]

And then you open it. It's a beautiful sandwich.

[Frank]

I. I have to say. I have to say I'm into all types of cuisines. I don't know if I get excited for any food more than I do. Just. Just, like, sloppy, disgusting barbecue.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And, like, if I have squirt bottle, I'll let you know. Right now, as a society, here's a warning to all cooks out there. The moment we start doing elevated barbecue, like, you try to open, like, a fine dining barbecue restaurant, I'm going to burn your place to the ground.

[Joey]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

Yeah, but, like, if I see someone with, like, you know, a white guy with, like, gauges in Brooklyn, and he's just, like, you know, elevated, you know what I'm saying? Like, listen up, guys. We're doing fine dining barbecue.

[Joey]

Can't.

[Frank]

You better hope those windows are bulletproof.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frank]

Because I'm sending a Molotov cocktail or fourth room. Okay.

[Joey]

What would be the point of it being bulletproof? I guess that would stop them all.

[Frank]

It would stop. If it could stop bullets, I imagine it could stop a.

[Joey]

Can we make a Molotov cocktail? Is that legal? Can we make one?

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Why not?

[Frank]

Because it's dangerous.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah?

[Frank]

Who's stopping you?

[Joey]

But, like, I.

[Frank]

Good old Uncle Sam, I imagine if I had.

[Joey]

Let's hypothesis hypothetically. Right.

[Frank]

This is a great question.

[Joey]

Like, building a bomb like that clearly is.

[Frank]

I mean, I think weird.

[Joey]

Fucking demonetizes shit now.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

After me saying that. But, like, if, like, that I know is illegal, but, like, can I just put.

[Frank]

What is it?

[Joey]

Like, alcohol, A rag.

[Frank]

I think technically could. Technically, it would be considered an improvised explosive device. An ied, which is.

[Joey]

You can't answer. That stands.

[Frank]

You can make that.

[Joey]

What if I just wanted to, like, make one to throw at my fireplace to, like.

[Frank]

I imagine, like, no one's gonna police that. Unless you're, like, in, like, an area where wildfires are prevalent.

[Joey]

Bro, if I get, like, an upstate house one day and there's an outdoor fireplace, I'm just gonna make a Molotov cocktail and just, well, set the fire.

[Frank]

The. The. The throwing it is. The. The spreading of it is the issue you would have to throw.

[Joey]

It's in a concrete. It's in a concrete.

[Frank]

Yeah, but, Joey, you don't think stuff sprays back at the person once it hits? Of course it does. So how far back are you gonna be with this fucking incredible aim that you have, which you and I both know you don't have great aim.

[Joey]

What do we both don't know that.

[Frank]

I have fantastic aim, Frank, with a Molotov cocktail.

[Joey]

I've never tried to throw one.

[Frank]

First of all, I think it is illegal.

[Joey]

Yeah, I think it might be, too. Which sucks, because they seem fun.

[Frank]

Yeah. Honestly, I think that we're. You know. Hold on. Yeah. I think this might exist already, so I'm not even gonna say it.

[Joey]

You've had progressively worse. I don't know why. Every time you're like, I have a business idea, and it's the most outlandish thing I've ever heard.

[Frank]

Joey, I think you understand, as big business Joe, that sometimes it's not about having the great idea.

[Joey]

It's about.

[Frank]

It's about the ethos. The ethos, exactly. So, like, you know, how many. How many times you think Bill Gates had to go through Microsoft before he came up with Microsoft? You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Probably, like, twice. I don't think he ever landed on, like, diaper barbecue and then got to Microsoft. I don't think that's the trap.

[Frank]

You never know. I mean, you never. You only hear. What do they say? You only hear about the successes. You don't see the failure.

[Joey]

They scream, my failures, and they whisper, my accomplishments. I don't know.

[Frank]

Whatever it is, you know, Whatever. Whatever, you know.

[Joey]

Do you have a high school quote?

[Ant]

Like, oh.

[Frank]

Oh, your yearbook quote.

[Ant]

Oh, I don't remember it.

[Joey]

Did you.

[Frank]

Did you have. I remember mine. Yeah.

[Joey]

This should be good.

[Frank]

You're gonna hate it.

[Joey]

It's gonna be, what, Batman saying something?

[Frank]

No, no. Somehow not as bad. It was. It was, screw chasing my dreams. I'm gonna find out where they'll be in 10 years and meet up with them. Then.

[Joey]

What? That's chasing your dreams. What do you mean, screw chasing my dreams? I'm gonna go get them in 10 years.

[Frank]

That's chasing your dream. I'm paraphrasing. I don't think that technically. That's not chasing. Chasing is. You're always keeping up with it. Just saying, like, yo, dreams. Where are you gonna be in 10 years? I'll see you then.

[Joey]

It's kind of what happened.

[Frank]

That's exactly. That is exactly what happened. Holy.

[Joey]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

There you go, folks.

[Joey]

Mine was probably horrendous.

[Frank]

Yours was probably like a Mac Miller quote and then like an emoji that you somehow got in there. But the emoji was like, honestly. Or like a vinyl record emoji or something like that.

[Joey]

I don't even know.

[Frank]

I wish I. Joey's was probably. Joey's was probably just like, whatever. That's probably what it was.

[Joey]

Sick joke.

[Frank]

Ants was probably. The more pockets, the better, because we.

[Joey]

Went to the same high school, but obviously different years. You're 11, I'm 33. You're right, but did you guys have, like, superlatives by the time you left? Because we didn't have that.

[Ant]

What's that like?

[Frank]

Like, most likely to.

[Ant]

Yeah, we had that, but it was like.

[Frank]

It was because you guys went to a Catholic school, so it was just like, everyone's even most likely to fall into Corinthians 16, 8.

[Joey]

You know, they didn't give it to us because they were like, oh, no. People are gonna get.

[Frank]

Oh. Because it's like, you know, like one of the seven deadly sins, like, whatever it is. Or yours were just, like, as voted by the. The. The staff sexiest. Oh, ew.

[Ant]

Oh, right.

[Frank]

No, they. Yeah, I got the joke. You guys got it.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

They gave the cause a list and you voted on, like, a predetermined.

[Joey]

Oh, so everyone got one.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. So the way that ours did, I actually, my senior year, I counted the votes with my friend, and it was. There was like an initial round of voting. So, like, write ins, and then of those write ins, you take the two Most Popular or 4Most Popular in some cases, and then you distribute it again for another round of voting. Bro, people at our school campaigned, like.

[Joey]

For, like, best dress.

[Frank]

Yes, dude. Like, vote me best dress. Like, I swear to God, it was like a thing.

[Joey]

I'll tell you what, there's a sure fire way to get me to not vote for you, and it's that way.

[Frank]

Yeah. What? Did you win any?

[Joey]

There wasn't any for my.

[Frank]

Oh, did you win any?

[Joey]

Noser?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Loser. All right. Not even.

[Joey]

Not even most likely to succeed.

[Ant]

No, I had the valedictorian in my core.

[Frank]

Oh. And they always. Yeah, they always win.

[Joey]

It was tough.

[Frank]

By the time the voting comes out, they always know who's gonna be the valedictorian.

[Joey]

Were you a good student?

[Ant]

I was a great student.

[Joey]

What's great?

[Ant]

Fantastic.

[Frank]

Numbers.

[Joey]

Numbers. Numbers.

[Ant]

Like A plus.

[Joey]

All right, baby, I said numbers. He said A plus.

[Frank]

So different school. Grading might be different. We had.

[Ant]

We had like, GPAs like that.

[Frank]

I think it was a GPA. It was on, like, a grade point average.99 average or.

[Ant]

Oh, yeah, 97.

[Frank]

Damn, dude, I didn't have that my senior year. I had a 101.3 average. I crushed that shit.

[Joey]

Wow. Did you win valedictorian?

[Frank]

I did not win Validator.

[Joey]

Were you, like, in the, you know, MVP voting, you were like.

[Frank]

I don't think I was. It was. It was like the girl that Won it in our year was like all four years, like, averaged like a 15 or something.

[Joey]

Like, what is, what is number?

[Ant]

Yeah, they take Italian or language and you get extra credit.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, and then it was literally like, if they get extra credit, they can factor that in.

[Joey]

That's horseshit.

[Frank]

Well, they need. Because they need to. They need to go over 100. Because, like, if there's a cap and five people get a hundred, how are you gonna dictate who wins?

[Joey]

Fight to the death.

[Frank]

Okay. All right.

[Ant]

I did get 120 in Italian. That kind of helped me out.

[Frank]

What, do you speak Italian like that?

[Ant]

No, I was just.

[Frank]

What Was your best?

[Joey]

120.

[Frank]

Yeah, that was your best. So obviously Italian was your best. What was your life, Joey. And be honest. Lunch. No. Gym. Physical. Ed. Yeah.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

All right.

[Joey]

It was phys ed and I was in English.

[Frank]

Oh, okay. Yeah. You're well spoken, I can see that.

[Joey]

Absolutely. But, like, every science besides Earth Science rocks.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You know what I mean?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Chemistry and Bio, my first year. Did you guys do that too?

[Ant]

Yep.

[Joey]

Yeah, absolutely. Like, my teacher did me a favor by not putting me in summer school.

[Frank]

Yeah, dude, I remember the. The year that was really tough for the people in our. Like, when I was in there was chemistry and physics. A lot of people struggled with physics. Physics.

[Joey]

I don't think I was like, wait, yeah, you know, my physics wasn't bad. Bio and chem was horrific.

[Frank]

Okay, I could see that.

[Ant]

Physics and math for me. Science and math.

[Joey]

What was your worst subject?

[Frank]

History. Oh, boy, do I hate history. I did well in it because, like, it was 2010. It was like, I. If you're cool. So I had a deal. Our. I don't know if he's still alive. I hope he is. He was a really nice guy. Really cool guy.

[Joey]

Old.

[Frank]

He was. He was up there. Probably not up there, but, like, he was there, you know.

[Joey]

He's dead.

[Frank]

He was the coach of the basketball team.

[Joey]

He's probably dead as fuck.

[Frank]

Jesus Christ, dude. But he gave me 15 points of extra credit every marking period because I would write the lesson on the board in the morning. So he's like, come into class every day. It was my first period. It's like, come into class every day, 10 minutes early, write the bullet points on the board and I'll give you 15 credit. 15 points every marking period.

[Joey]

What's 15 points? Like, if you got it.

[Frank]

So if you got a 95. Yes.

[Joey]

That's insane, bro.

[Frank]

It was high school in the 2010s. They didn't dig, do whatever the fuck they want. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, it was. And that was a wild deal. It also helped that my mom was a very popular person at my high school.

[Joey]

Not only that, but was it.

[Frank]

I, like, earned my grades.

[Joey]

But, like, was it passing in your school? Like 55?

[Frank]

It was originally, like, 65, and then I think they had to lower it to 55.

[Joey]

Imagine this passing is 55. This guy's willing to give you 15.

[Frank]

Listen, dog, I was cool. Like, yo, I was like. I don't think you realize you weren't that cool.

[Joey]

You're showing up to class 10 minutes early.

[Frank]

Well, no, God damn it. I say, like, I don't think you realize how cool I was with the teachers and staff when I came to.

[Joey]

Your school that one time. You're like the mayor, dude.

[Frank]

Like, that was everybody. But also not only because, like. And I say this a lot, like, my mom worked there. Yeah. But, like, I was also good as a student. You know what I mean? Like, if my mom worked there and I was a piece of. They'd be like this kid.

[Joey]

But even before that school, I feel like in your other school, it was still like that. You were cool with all the teachers.

[Frank]

I was cool with them. I actually spoke to my buddy the other day about it. I was cool with them, but, like, I wasn't as good of a student. So people, like, basically, like, it was like a give and take a little bit, but what are you gonna do?

[Joey]

Way gone. Dope on dope. Geez. Ran a little long.

[Frank]

It's a big one.

[Joey]

But listen. It's a big one. But listen, we're gonna run over these dates one more time. But guys, again, tomorrow at noon, okay? Noon Eastern, 12pm Eastern. Pre sale starts with the same.

[Frank]

Say what tomorrow is.

[Joey]

Tomorrow is May 13th.

[Frank]

Thank you.

[Joey]

May 13th. Pre sale code. [e-mail] you can get all the tickets. St. Louis, June 28th. Kansas City is going to be around there, too. Possibly the 27th. I would say San Diego, July 10th and 11th, San Francisco, July 12th, Atlantic City, July 18th. Minneapolis, July 24th, Milwaukee, July 25th. Chicago, July 26th. Toronto, August 9th, Detroit. Oh, Toronto, August 6th, Detroit, August 9th, Phoenix, August 28th, Vegas, Labor Day weekend. Columbus, September 18th, Pittsburgh, September 20th, Philly on September 27th. South Florida, October 16th, Orlando, October 17th. Tampa, October 19th, D.C. october 23rd, Boston, November 6th, and New York City, November 13th. Okay, again, May 13th. Presale code is basement@the basementyard.com General Sale, which just means that you don't need codes at that point will be May 16th. Also at the basementyard.com come out to the shows. Like I said, it's going to be a brand new show. It's a lot of fun. We like workshop workshops, some stuff over in the UK and we're very excited about where the show is and bringing it back to the States. So hopefully we see you guys out there. We're really excited and thank you for all the support.

[Frank]

Yep. All right, we'll see you guys later.

[Joey]

See you next time.

[Frank]

Oh, that was a big one.