#506 - Should We Go Deep Sea Fishing?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard - Episode #506: Should We Go Deep Sea Fishing?

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Basement Yard
• Host/Author: Santagato Studios
• Description: A podcast hosted by lifelong friends Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez. Presented by Santagato Studios.
• Episode: #506 - Should We Go Deep Sea Fishing?
• Release Date: June 9, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #506 of The Basement Yard, hosts Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez delve into the adventurous and somewhat humorous topic of deep sea fishing. Amidst their candid discussions, they also reflect on their recent Memorial Day weekend escapades, providing listeners with a blend of insightful dialogue and relatable anecdotes.

Should We Go Deep Sea Fishing?

The core discussion revolves around whether Joe and Frank should embark on a deep sea fishing trip. The conversation highlights various aspects of deep sea fishing, including its thrills, challenges, and the physical demands it entails.

• Types of Fish and Their Challenges:

  • Tuna:
    • Joe: “[09:19] I think tunas can get up to 30ft long and weigh up to 2,000 pounds. That's a ton.”
    • Frank: “[10:09] 2,000. That's a ton.”
    • They discuss the sheer size and strength of tuna, pondering the feasibility of catching such massive fish.
  • Swordfish vs. Tuna:
    • Frank: “[16:22] Swordfish and tuna are different. I thought they were one and the same.”
    • Joe: “[16:31] You know, like that's a tuna.”
    • The hosts clarify the differences between swordfish and tuna, debunking their initial confusion.

• Physical Demands and Techniques:

  • Frank: “[08:00] They have to wear like a harness and put their fishing rod in their balls.”
  • They humorously discuss the intense physical effort required to reel in large fish, emphasizing the danger and skill involved.
  • Joe: “[10:31] What do you do when you catch a big fish? Frank replies, “I think they hang it up and they're just like, wow.””

• Survival Mechanisms of Fish:

  • Frank: “[11:27] I think tunas start eating themselves once out of water to survive.”
  • They explore the survival instincts of fish when removed from their natural habitat, although they express uncertainty about Frank’s claims.

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

Transitioning from the main topic, Joe and Frank recount their Memorial Day weekend, marked by a memorable feast of hot dogs.

• Frank’s Hot Dog Extravaganza:

  • Joe: “[34:53] You had six hot dogs on Sunday.”
  • Frank: “[35:16] I had six dogs over the course of eight hours, alongside beers and bourbon.”
  • Frank humorously details his indulgence, consuming multiple hot dogs accompanied by alcohol, leading to a light-hearted debate on calorie intake and personal responsibility.

• Calorie Count and Health Concerns:

  • Joe: “[40:25] On the conservative end, we'll say it was about 4,400 calories.”
  • Frank: “[43:01] I estimate around 2,000 calories that day.”
  • The hosts engage in a playful yet informative discussion on the caloric impact of their Memorial Day feast, balancing indulgence with physical activity.

Deep Sea Fishing vs. Hot Dog Bingeing: A Humorous Comparison

Joe and Frank juxtapose the intensity of deep sea fishing with Frank’s hot dog binge, drawing parallels between physical endurance and indulgent excess.

• Physical Feasibility:
  • Joe: “[68:08] Maybe not those big boys you got, but we have little regular ones.”
  • Frank: “[68:21] Ten pigs, one pig in a blanket per mile. I'll run a fucking ultra.”
  • They humorously assess whether they could handle both deep sea fishing and ambitious eating or running challenges, ultimately poking fun at each other's limits.

Personal Reflections and Future Plans

The episode concludes with reflections on their personal lives, friendships, and future podcast content.

• Hair and Appearance Banter:

  • Joe: “[55:16] Imagine we had to get haircuts for our eyebrows.”
  • Frank: “[61:34] I agree. It's not bad.”
  • The friends engage in light-hearted conversations about grooming, facial hair, and personal styles, adding a personal touch to the episode.

• Upcoming Shows and Community Engagement:

  • Joe: “[69:47] We have some shows that are… There are still some tickets available.”
  • They promote their upcoming live shows, encouraging listeners to attend and engage with their community through The Basement Yard website and social media platforms.

Notable Quotes

• Frank Alvarez: “[10:11] Volvo out of the ocean. A Volvo, by the way, that is driving like 40 miles per hour.”
• Joe Santagato: “[34:59] I feel good. I let loose.”
• Frank Alvarez: “[43:35] It's a three-day dog bender.”

Conclusion

Episode #506 of The Basement Yard offers a blend of adventurous contemplation and humorous recounting of personal antics. Joe and Frank's candid dialogue not only provides insights into the complexities of deep sea fishing but also entertains with their relatable and amusing tales from Memorial Day weekend. Whether debating the physical demands of catching a 2,000-pound tuna or laughing over a hot dog binge, the hosts deliver an engaging episode that resonates with both fishing enthusiasts and casual listeners alike.

For those intrigued by the balance of adventure and everyday humor, episode #506 is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Frank Alvarez]

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[Joe Sanigato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. My name is Joe Sanigato. This is my co host with the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Select back hair light strike. Select back light strike.

[Joe Sanigato]

And here we are in some fancy T shirts. What have we become?

[Frank Alvarez]

What have I become? My sweetest friend.

[Joe Sanigato]

I knew you were gonna do something like that. Guys, don't forget to go to thebasementyard.com and get yourself some tickets to our live shows. We're coming to cities near you all over the United States and a little bit in Canada. We actually just added a third show in Toronto on Aug. 5. Those tickets are on sale now if they're not sold out, because, you know, Toronto's a crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Toronto's bananas.

[Joe Sanigato]

Anyway, welcome back to the show.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was that? Where did you go?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Try it again. Try it again. Take two. Action.

[Joe Sanigato]

What'd I say?

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back.

[Joe Sanigato]

Welcome back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back. Yeah, go check out those tickets. We're excited.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're just coming off an American holiday. Memorial Day.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Which, you know, I don't think you could do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Salute.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think you're allowed to. Is that, like, a taboo thing for me to salute? I think so. I think, first of all, there's, like, a very, like, specific way to salute. Like, the feet need to be, like, the hand needs to be at an angle or something, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

You ever see the guys near, like, the Capitol? I don't know where they are and I don't know what's going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, when was the last time you were at the Capitol?

[Joe Sanigato]

I know what you're gonna say, and it wasn't January 6th. I was actually at the Capitol when.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were at the Capitol when I was there for your trial because of those.

[Joe Sanigato]

But the guys who, like, walk very slowly, but it looks like they're not taking steps and they're kind of gliding.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell is that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Where?

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you seen that? I don't think.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think I know what you're talking about.

[Joe Sanigato]

Video I saw on the Internet of that.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I will say that. Are you talking to like street performers?

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm talking about the military.

[Frank Alvarez]

You see how he speaks about.

[Joe Sanigato]

I saw a lot of sailors.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was fleet week. It was fleet week.

[Joe Sanigato]

I had no idea. I went to Hamilton. There were sailors everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, sailors.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are they out here trying to put a. A little penis in other people?

[Frank Alvarez]

There's also sailors. I think it was like a thing back in the day. I mean, listen to the song Brandy, you know that she talks about falling of with a sailor, but his life, his love and his lady was the sea.

[Joe Sanigato]

So sailors used to like, they would dock and then they would have unprotected and then they'd leave and there'd be babies and be like, oh, I'm a sailor.

[Frank Alvarez]

So they would, they would go and they would like repopulate. Like a, A shipping. Yeah. Town Tortuga. I don't know if that's a real place.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I think it's just parts of the Caribbean.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I, I don't. I know it was fleet week here. I imagine that it used to be like a horny week in New York City. I think now it's become like just kind of like whatever.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think like 50 year old women love. People love sailors.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's that thing, there's like that old adage that like women love a man in uniform or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. That's still true.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just women like a man that has like, you know, like not a fucking dumbass. Like the, the uniform adds a sense of structure, like procedure.

[Joe Sanigato]

So ironic that that's how he tried to explain that. Like a dumbass. Like, like not a fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like this. No, but I mean, like, I think it's because like there's a sense of structure that comes along with the uniform. Like discipline speak for the women brain. Well, if. No, if, if they're not gonna speak for themselves, who will? Me.

[Joe Sanigato]

They're not able to articulate because of their small women brain. Let me do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's because of the structure of Send in the sailors. Send them on in. No, I think, I think that was like a.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you go. Would you be on a ship?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell no.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like an aircraft carrier?

[Frank Alvarez]

Double hell no.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really? I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

A flat one that can tip over.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, Ships don't tip over.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do. They often tip over.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank. It's not 18, 1, 2, 5. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

That years happen.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, that's in the future. But it's not the 1800s. The ships don't flip over.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think back then they probably flipped over less than they do now.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think any ships slip over. I mean, I think like, it, I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Think just one just happened in like, North Korea or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are cruise ships. They deserve.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, this was a gun. This was. God almighty. This was a, like a aircraft carrier flipped over in North Korea and he was apparently ours or theirs. It was theirs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, well, I think they have an out.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I don't know. I can't confirm nor deny the status of the North Korean military and I'm not even going to try. They got wobbly ships, clearly, apparently. But we've had some wobbly ships.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know which ones?

[Frank Alvarez]

There's ships that have a little wobble to them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I took the ferry yesterday.

[Joe Sanigato]

You want to talk about a wobbly ship?

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell? Yeah, which one?

[Joe Sanigato]

The ferry.

[Frank Alvarez]

Staten Island?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, from the, from Manhattan.

[Frank Alvarez]

When you say the ferry, I think it's known as the Staten Island Ferry. Am I incorrect there?

[Joe Sanigato]

That's because you're not from New York anymore, buddy.

[Frank Alvarez]

We have a lot of. That hurts. All right, so why. Just to, just to see how I.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ran to Manhattan and then took the ferry home.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you like do that thing where you like when you're like a jogger at like a stoplight, you keep running in place?

[Joe Sanigato]

I actually didn't have to stop, but I don't do that because it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was gonna say. Were you doing that on the ferry?

[Joe Sanigato]

I would not. No, no, no. I mean, that was the end of my run. I was quitting because I had coming.

[Frank Alvarez]

How did it feel?

[Joe Sanigato]

How did the ferry feel?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, ferry feel?

[Joe Sanigato]

I look, I like the ferry.

[Frank Alvarez]

It. Was it like a proper weird word? Was it a proper. Hold on. Was it a proper ferry that had those old like Dutch wooden wheels that like makes them go. Cuz if it's not, then it's not a ferry. It's just a big boat.

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are f. Those are called like river boats or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ah, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's. I, I, I want to go on one.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hell yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I actually think in Jersey they have one that's like a booze cruise where you can go on like a riverboat and just drink.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, what, what are you supposed to do on boats other than alcohol? Sit fish?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't know. I guess that's why I've always been weird about.

[Joe Sanigato]

Fishing's probably fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Someone that grew up and dabbled a little in fishing. Not for me. A little slow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, well, that's because you did it when you were a kid.

[Frank Alvarez]

True.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're like, oh, I need to do everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, what am I going to do as an adult that's going to be like exhilarating fish for like shark.

[Joe Sanigato]

You have. I think that you have an appreciation for sitting in the backyard and just listening to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I absolutely do.

[Joe Sanigato]

And having the most disgusting score scotch ever. Something like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Back it up, back it up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now just imagine there's a fishing pole and sometimes some gets on.

[Frank Alvarez]

You go, yeah, but like, I don't. I. I don't know why. It's just like. For me, it's just like the waiting is the hardest part. It doesn't make a difference. What's the rest of the words from that song? Waiting is the hardest part.

[Joe Sanigato]

That is. I have no idea. Before my time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tom Petty. Well, but I just. I don't know if I could sit there. Like, I know people that do like big game fishing. Like they fish. Fucking sharks, tuna, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

How the fuck does a little string.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it's not. That's. It's not a little string.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, I know it's kind of like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like they. They have to wear like a harness and like put their. The fishing rod in their balls.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, bro. There's no way in hell that I would ever get in a thing that would be connected to a giant fish in the ocean.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's like. Like their boys are like holding them back. Like they're getting like, no, you got.

[Joe Sanigato]

It, you got it. And they're like trying to hold on. And the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you. You've prepared for this.

[Joe Sanigato]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

You like dubbed with someone out of your league in like seventh or eighth grade and your boys were just like, we got your back.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, dude, that's totally different.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just think of that Dominican woman as a tuna and you as your seventh grade old self.

[Joe Sanigato]

I hear where you're going and it's not like a bad idea, but I really think that a tuna has more power than you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

How strong could a. Well, first of all, how big do C tuna get to?

[Joe Sanigato]

Big as fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, okay, 200 pounds, 300 pounds?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's bigger than that, but even so.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's your fridge, bro. How fast could a 300 pound tuna really go? Like, I could if you put me in a boat with my feet on the wall and just prepped with my boys. I think I could, I think I could reel it in successfully. Josh is watching this frothing at the mouth because he's been trying to get us to go deep sea fishing for Decades.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. A fully grown tuna. How long and how much do you think they weigh? They can get up to how long get up to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, we could all get up to like a thousand pounds.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what he means? Why do you do that? He's like, well, there's people who weigh a thousand pounds, so humans can get up to. No. Tunas, they can be. I'll say 30ft.

[Frank Alvarez]

30Ft, brother. That's great. Where are you going, bro? There are not even whales that size. I mean, blue whales, I think 10ft. I would say eight. Eight feet. 350 pounds.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'll say 210 pounds. 10ft. It's saying Atlantic tunas could get up to 13ft long and weigh up to 2,000 pounds.

[Frank Alvarez]

2,000. That's a ton.

[Joe Sanigato]

So I'm trying to pull a fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Volvo out of the ocean. A Volvo, by the way, that is driving like 40 miles per hour. How fast do these bastards get? Because I imagine with that little fin. That's a big fin back there, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

If he's a 2000 fucking pound, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably like getting hit by a speedy.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you do? Let me ask you a question, fisherman. When you get it on the boat, what happens then?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think they hang it up and they're just like, wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hang it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

We did it like a sail.

[Joe Sanigato]

And it's gonna. You're gonna use it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think. Well, I think. Mistake me if I'm wrong here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, you are wrong. That was wrong. That is. That is wrong. Mistake you if you are wrong. And that is it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I heard something once that, like, tuna, when you catch them, they immediately start eating their own. Like when they're out of water, like, not, not like. But like their body starts to like, break down. So, like, once you catch a tuna, you need to either get it on ice or get it in very quickly.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, why? What do you mean? They start to, like, eat their own body?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like so, like when, like, you go starving and stuff like that, your body starts to eat at your own mass. Your muscle, your fat and stuff like that. It. Apparently I could be wrong. Mistake me if I'm wrong here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but, but, but how would you hear something so specific and be wrong about it?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's. That's the way.

[Joe Sanigato]

That.

[Frank Alvarez]

True. That's the way.

[Joe Sanigato]

They just know that humans eat them. So they're like, no, no, I'm going to ruin.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't think it's about. They see humans and they're like, let's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Start a defense mechanism to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because they're out of the water, they're. They're out of their element. So in order to survive, they do that because, like, they say, apparently. I always thought, like, you take a fish out of water, this thing is dead in two minutes. Apparently it takes a while for them.

[Joe Sanigato]

To die, which is the fish that, like, you. You catch it and then you have to beat it with a bat. And I don't. I don't say that we should do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I do know that's a thing I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never heard of a fish that you have to physically harm. I'm like, there's like an old Irishman with a bat, and he's like, all right, yeah, time to get this guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's got a leather jacket with the collar up, and he's like, where is he? Where's this fish? Dude, I. I am too much of a. To ever go fishing because I would feel bad even putting bait on the end of a hook. I'd be like, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's sweet. That's very sweet.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, that's wrong. I could definitely. I don't give a. About worms, but a little fish I would feel bad about. But then once I got the fish inside the boat, bro, like, oh, my God, it's in his face face.

[Frank Alvarez]

People use little fish to fish for big fish.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which is crazy. Also, they. They, like, you're not supposed to do this, but they chum.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which appear.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sorry, where'd you go? I had something sucking my teeth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which apparently is, like, illegal. Like, you're not allowed to chum. Because it could, like, create, like, really, really dangerous situations.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. With a big shark pulling up or.

[Frank Alvarez]

A, I don't know, thousand pound tuna. All right, £2,000. I'm probably out. But if there was, like, a look up.

[Joe Sanigato]

By the way, if you could find anything, any information on tunas killing themselves on contact with oxygen or whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank said, yeah, maybe look that up.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I wasn't sure how that could be a survival skill.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, because, like, humans, once we are, like, start to starve, our body starts to eat away at itself. That would take stories, though. Yeah. I don't. I think it's like a quicker process. And I don't. I. Forgive me if I'm missing.

[Joe Sanigato]

This feels like a guaranteed no. Like now. Now that we're getting all the information out of you, it feels like, this can't be right. But maybe it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is possible. I also could be, like, completely it's another type of fish.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know fishermen, don't you?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know fisherman. I know un fisherman.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you know one fisherman?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know fisherman. He does. He does deep sea tuna fishing quite often.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's scary.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they're out there for days.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let me tell you what I like. A little crab cage.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

A little trick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Come in here. Some food in there. Gotcha.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Well, no, you let it be. And then we say a lot. You let it be. Like you put something in there. They go in there, and you pull it. Like, four days later, boom. There's like half a dozen.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking blue claws in there. Oh, God. I want to go and dive with the colossal king crabs. The ones that, like, Gordon Ramsay went down and he's like, what the fuck is this?

[Joe Sanigato]

What if they pinch?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, just. I mean, at that depth in that cold water, what are they grabbing onto, brother?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, not your dick, because that's already.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will be as like. Like a board. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like a pant.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Well, apparently they can take off a finger, so, like, you need to be real careful.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was literally just about to ask.

[Frank Alvarez]

If that actually hurts getting your finger taken off.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a crab, like, I imagine. Dude, do you see the size of some of these king crabs? They could have, like, a wingspan of, like, five feet.

[Joe Sanigato]

What about, like a regular crab?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I imagine it hurts like a pinch, but like, now lobsters, I.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don'T know anything about them.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got one claw that they call, like, the ripper. And the whole idea is that, like, it grabs on and it fucking beyblade, you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

Jesus. I would smash a fucking lobster's head.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just.

[Joe Sanigato]

I pinched me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. Jesus. I don't want to go on big ships, right? And I definitely don't want to go on smaller ships to hunt animals that are designed to fuck me up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like bro jaws, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who's out here trying to catch swordfish? It's got a sword. Leave it alone.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's just because it's got a pointy nose. Isn't that not a tuna?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, a swordfish?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. You don't need to pantomime doing a sword. I get what a sword is, but like a swordfish. Tuna and swordfish are different. I. I'll be honest, I thought they were one in the same.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why? There was two names.

[Frank Alvarez]

They look similar, don't they?

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, now I don't know what a tuna looks like, but like a swordfish, I feel like, is a very specific.

[Frank Alvarez]

So maybe it's Just like a, like a longer nosed tuna.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can you just Google tuna? Yeah, I got you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I'm not really that sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

But you thought swordfish and tuna were the exact same. Yeah, like that's a tuna.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, it's got a. It doesn't have a nose at all.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, so I'm wrong. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then a sword.

[Frank Alvarez]

Swordfish.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

A sword. Okay, I'm wrong.

[Joe Sanigato]

By the way, we got mats because people were complaining that we were slapping the test too hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I see the difference. Radically different fish. Look at this. Watch this, watch this. I am wrong.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, done. They had two names.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but you have different names for like male and female. Like horses or cows, stuff like that. I thought it maybe it was like one is like a male, one is a female. I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's so interesting.

[Frank Alvarez]

You live and you learn.

[Joe Sanigato]

You've never seen videos of like swordfish? Oh, you thought tunas looked like that? That had the big sword.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

So they do die within minutes of coming out of the water. But that's because they need so much oxygen because they're so big. Cuz they're. Yeah, they're. They can't. Yeah, they can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you didn't find anything about this whole like eating away at their own.

[Joe Sanigato]

I couldn't find a single thing. I feel like.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, they do.

[Joe Sanigato]

Swim at 50 miles per hour. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

50 is crazy. 2,000 miles. 2,000 pounds moving at 50 miles per hour. That is a school car. What?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like trying to say full car.

[Frank Alvarez]

A goal car. That's a full car. That's basically getting hit by a.

[Joe Sanigato]

How are we able to catch them?

[Frank Alvarez]

They bite and then they're on and then you. I think they have to.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know what fishing is, but I'm physically.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think they literally let them tire themselves out. Like they'll be on the line for hours. And then at a certain point the tune is just like, you know what?

[Joe Sanigato]

Take me a rip.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and then. And then.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like, how can you lift that weight by doing this?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sure it's bigger than like the little like Snoopy ones that we have seen them.

[Joe Sanigato]

They're like big fuckers, but it's like still like you crank £2,000 up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it's probably more. Feels like more than £2,000 because of the speed at which it goes.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's so insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, so that's crazy stuff.

[Joe Sanigato]

50 miles an hour. It's unfathomably fast. Some of these fish.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's the fastest fish? Do fish get faster than tuna?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you get faster than 50, brother?

[Joe Sanigato]

I believe. What's the fastest fish? I believe something. Get up to 121.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get out of here, brother. The Ferrari of fish. No way. There's no way. You know what I love? You know videos I love. You ever see those videos that guys that go like scuba diving and they get rid of the like invasive species like lionfish? Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pavlas espanol.

[Frank Alvarez]

Spriesto joi come de nosk. If you've heard that sound from Babbel before, I bet you do. Babbel is the science backed language learning app that actually works with quick 10 minute lessons. Handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel gets you on your way to speaking a new language in just a few weeks with over 16 million subscriptions sold and a 20 day money back guarantee. Just start speaking another language with Babbel right now. Up to 55% off your Babbel subscription. @babbel.com Spotify podcast spelled B A B B E L.com Spotify podcast rules and restrictions may apply. Like Kate and then they put them in like this big bag and stuff like that. I would do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like when, when you know, like prisoners are on the side of the highway cleaning up. Is that trash?

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that what that is?

[Joe Sanigato]

Or like community service?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay, gotcha. It's like they go down there to like do right by their community or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I could be wrong. Yeah, yeah, no kidding. 70 miles per hour.

[Frank Alvarez]

Still.

[Joe Sanigato]

Still very fast.

[Frank Alvarez]

Still fast.

[Joe Sanigato]

What is it? Which fish? What else would I be saying? The sailfish.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sailfish.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sailfish. Never even heard what is a sailfish?

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine it looks big.

[Joe Sanigato]

The name makes sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah, because it's sailing. It's. It's flying. Yeah, it's moving.

[Joe Sanigato]

When you think about it should be the fly fish.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's another thing. Aren't. Isn't fly fishing. Oh, that's a technique of fishing. Isn't that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know fly fishing is like a thing, but I don't know if you're catching fly fish. I. Maybe I don't jump out of the water, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fish. Fuck you guys. I don't like. There's so much like that's a whole world that two podcasters don't need to get into.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would prefer if they weren't so slippery.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that makes sense because then I could grab you. You want to grab a fish out of the water? Have you ever held a fish like Raw.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They're. They're slippery bastards. They also got spines. Sometimes they got spines. Some of them have, like, little needles. They'll poke you, you know, like a stone fish. It's like the most venomous fish. I think we brought this up once on the show.

[Joe Sanigato]

Stone fish.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They have, like, blue venom that if it gets in you, you're fucked, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

And blue venom is kind of cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, not when it's in you.

[Joe Sanigato]

If I had to pick one, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

So if you're gonna die from a venom color, what color would you rather it be?

[Joe Sanigato]

Blue. Blue. The other ones I've seen, like, snakes are, like, yellow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Thanks. Are crazy, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't fuck with that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't with snakes at all.

[Joe Sanigato]

I do like watching snakes get devenomized. That ain't it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, when they bite, like, the rubber on the cup and they're like.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't feel like, yo. Oh. You ever see when they take the venom and they put it in.

[Frank Alvarez]

In with blood, and then blood just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Turns into a solid.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And like, literally like 12 seconds.

[Joe Sanigato]

And he's like, yeah, you just do this, this. And now it's a solid thing. And I'm like, that's a blood clot. Person's dead.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah. That's why they say that you have mere seconds. That's not it. Minutes. Yeah, I guess technically you do have seconds, but just a lot of seconds that have been categorized into a larger thing. Instead of going like 400 seconds, you can just do minutes.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're exhausting. You're exhausting me. Should we get to some sponsors?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

We do have some sponsors for today, ladies and gentlemen. The first one being. How you doing? My computer's not working. How are you, ladies and gentlemen? I'm talking about skims. Okay, Skims. They make underwear. Kim Kardashian. What's going on? We don't know. I thought it was just for women at first, but now they make skims for men. And I can tell you this, as someone who's an owner of this underwear, I love the way it hugs me. Don't tell me you're wearing it right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm not very close. Very close.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I. We have skims. It's unbelievable. One of my favorite unwear, if not the favorite underwear that I have. And I like that it's nice and breathable in the area that you want it to be. Breathable. I'm not going to say it because I'm not going to be graphic here, but we know what we're talking about here. Okay. It keeps you nice and breezy and it's very tight to your skin. I also like the color of it. You know, sometimes it's like sort of flesh toned and you're like, wait, is he naked? But then, no, I'm wearing skims, you know, so that's the coolest part. But they also have a lot of other stuff too. And you can shop skims for men and there's also obviously women's products for them as well. And you can go to skims.combasement to get some. Okay, so let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and then select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Alright, so go get yourself some skims, ladies and gentlemen. All right, and we also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance app that's going to put money back in your pocket. They have a bunch of tools that's going to get that done. Okay, so how are they going to do that? First they're going to find and cancel on one subscriptions that you may or may not have signed up for back in the day that you forgot about. Or maybe it's something that you don't really use anymore and now you can see all of your money leaving your account in an organized fashion. So you're like, maybe I should cancel a couple of these. So Rocket Money is great for that. They also have a budgeting tool so that you can stay within your budget, be more financially responsible, make sure that you're saving your money. And they also have a tool that can help you lower your bills so you can help grow your savings. Okay, so there's a new goals feature that automatically saves money for you so you don't have to think about it. You can help pay off bills, put away money for a house, or just build your savings so they make it easy. It's all about, you know, being more financially responsible and growing your savings. So that's what they're going to do for you. They have over 5 million users and they have saved over $500 million in cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 year. I'd rather have that money. I don't know about you. So cancel your 1 of subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money by going to Rocketmoney.com basement today. Okay, that is Rocketmoney.com basement today. And we actually have one more that we're gonna sneak in here folks. Zocdoc, how you doing okay? ZocDoc, this is an awesome website and app that I was using before they were even a sponsor on the Basement yard. But it's a website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors that are patient reviewed and you can instantly book an appointment. So you go on the website, you put in your insurance, you see which doctor you want to go to, whether it be a primary care physician or dermatologist or whatever the case is, some specialist, and then they will find doctors in your area that are in your network that take your insurance and, and then you see their next available appointments and usually it's within two days. So it's a pretty quick turnaround. A lot of the times I've booked the same day, so it's great. And it's also patient reviewed like I said. So they kind of give us a score of, you know, out of five stars or something. So, you know, when people have a good experience there, then you know, it is what it is. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zoc. D o c.com basement all right, there you go. Doc. Doc.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen up, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know why, I really don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Was that necessary?

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, if you're using Rocket to manage your subscriptions and you're seeing some that you want to get rid of, why don't you replace them with one that I got for you right here? Come on, come on over Come on over, baby. Come on over Come on over, baby to the basement yard. Patreon.patreon.com the basement yard. We tell you folks about this quite often, okay? And quite vivaciously, we tell you about it. You sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So guess what, you're starting your day. Nope. Starting your week. That's right. And ending your week. More time, baby. We got you with the basement yard, so go check it out. [e-mail] the Basementyard, we thank you guys for getting us over 34,000 paid patrons. We are unbelievably amazed and astonished by the love and support you guys give us. So thank you. That helps everything that we do here. And we want to give you guys more of what you like, which is just silly goofiness, stupidity from Joey and just really incredible insight from me. So do yourself a favor, if you Want to save yourself a couple bucks while you're trying to sign up for Patreon? Go to a web browser and type in HTTP://on, backslash, backslash. Patreon.com www.patreon.com thebasement yard. That's the best way to do it. That's gonna save you some money if you use the app. Our Apple oval. Bloop. Our apple Overlor. Bloop. Apple takes money, so save yourself some money. Patreon.com thebasementyard thank you, folks. We love you. We are so grateful, and we're just gonna keep trying to be ourselves, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

Speaking about being ourselves, we should probably talk about the fact that Frank had an irresponsible Memorial Day weekend.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. I told you this in confidence. Well, what now?

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm pretty confident we're gonna talk about it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. I guess we're talking about it now. First of all, defined irresponsibility, because that is subjective.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like we're about to.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're right.

[Joe Sanigato]

It is subjective.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's subjective.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let's let people decide whether this is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think we. We know that neither of us are physicians. I think I could say that with confidence.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. We. Neither of us went to school to study human health in any capacity.

[Joe Sanigato]

I did take a health class in high school.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, so did I. It was mostly about sex, let's be honest. And yours was probably about God. The Virgin Mary.

[Joe Sanigato]

The Virgin Mary's body. Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I ask you a serious question? How did they, like, navigate that whole. Because obviously, a large part of Catholicism, Christianity is the idea that the Virgin Mary gave birth, the Immaculate Conception. How do they navigate that and teach health at the same time? If they were just like, this is how it happens now. But, like, that was a separate thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, that's the story, like, in the Bible.

[Frank Alvarez]

So they teach.

[Joe Sanigato]

I am. I am referencing the Bible now. You've done that. You've gotten me to be like, well, that's what it says in the Bible.

[Frank Alvarez]

When you think about it, there is a whole line of ad sponsorship.

[Joe Sanigato]

We haven't even touched that Catholics and Christians are out here. Like, that's how babies are born. They. It's. It's supposed to be, like, a miracle that happened.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm. I'm asking. That's why I'm. I'm not, like, I don't think. I'm just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Catholics and Christians under. Aren't under the assumption that, like, you just give birth.

[Frank Alvarez]

But if it happened, like, maybe they're under the assumption that, like, if it happened once, it can happen again.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I think that they love their God and they're like, no, it happened one time, and he's coming back and he's gonna kill everyone except us.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gotcha. You had your hand up. What's up?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, my science teacher in high school said was teaching, what's it called? Evolution. It's like, I don't believe in it, but he was teaching it. Yeah. He's like, I don't believe in this because, you know, we're Christian, but this is how it happens. Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. All right. I mean, that's a. That's strange that each their own. That was busting back to what you are defining as irresponsibility.

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's why I'm saying that. Frank was like, yo, kicked off dog sucking season, had six hot dogs on Sunday. Well, hold on. And I was like, yo, what? And he goes, and three burgers.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, first of all, Memorial Day weekend, you know, we take our dog sucking season very seriously.

[Joe Sanigato]

Were you wearing sunglasses?

[Frank Alvarez]

Uh, no. No. Yes, I was. Yes, I was.

[Joe Sanigato]

Of course, then it doesn't count.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, then it doesn't count.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you have any hot dogs during Memorial Day weekend? No. And be really honest with me. Wait.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I am thinking way too loud. I think I may have.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be really honest with me here, seriously, please.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you avoiding hot dogs or you just haven't had them?

[Joe Sanigato]

I just haven't been around them.

[Frank Alvarez]

You haven't been at anywhere that had a hot dog?

[Joe Sanigato]

I haven't been with them, bringing the hot dogs. Giant hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, like, you just, like, you've avoided.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not, like, avoiding them. I mean, I don't know that I would buy them and make them in my house, but, like, if I was at a barbecue and they were there.

[Frank Alvarez]

You best believe I'm burleighvin. Absolutely. You are burling. So you had. For Memorial Day weekend, which a lot of people consider to be the unofficial kickoff of the summer.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had not a single bite of a hot dog. That's. I think it's crazy. And did you have any hot dogs?

[Joe Sanigato]

I went to a ball game, so I had two.

[Frank Alvarez]

There you go. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I'm going to a baseball game tomorrow. I'm gonna get a big one.

[Frank Alvarez]

What fucking baseball game are you going to?

[Joe Sanigato]

Mets.

[Frank Alvarez]

God damn it. I love.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love baseball. I love baseball so much. So you're gonna have some hot dogs because you'll be about. You'll be amongst the Dogs, hot dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let's not get like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're not going for more.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know. Don't they sell like big giant, thick fuckers now?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they do.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's what I mean. I only did one of those.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it was Memorial Day weekend, which always seems to line up with Becca's birthday. So we had some family and friends over on Sunday.

[Joe Sanigato]

Recipe for disaster here.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I mean it's an e. Is Memorial Day weekend. We're having company. What's an easy middle ground? Like instead of having a cater or like do a bunch of cooking of intricate foods. Burgers, dogs on the grill. Got after it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I did. I also had hot dogs Saturday night.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why did you have them Saturday? Just. Just to like coat your stomach and get them ready for Sunday.

[Frank Alvarez]

We took the kids to a farm and by the time I got a.

[Joe Sanigato]

Farm dog, I did.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had a farm dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're eating hot dogs Nesta.

[Frank Alvarez]

Horses next to goats. Baby them llamas.

[Joe Sanigato]

I fucking love llamas. You know they don't have top teeth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Camels.

[Joe Sanigato]

Excuse me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Place got camels, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you get on it?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I didn't ride the camel. This place has a bunny enclosure. You can go in and like feed the bunnies and hang with them.

[Joe Sanigato]

I like them, but I think they don't like me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably afraid of you. Yeah, but they see you have the food and they hop right up to you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't fuck with chickens.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got a ton of chickens. Peacocks. Peacocks are cool.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know if I like them.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got horses. Love a horse. Sheep. Indifferent goats.

[Joe Sanigato]

Fuck with them.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had little babies.

[Joe Sanigato]

They're silly.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had baby. They had a full steer, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

When I was in Canada, I went to a petting zoo and a goat rammed my knee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude. This thing had a full. A full steer that gave birth to a cat. Like, not a steer doesn't give birth. They had a giant bull, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Big nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

Giant fucking fat nuts.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right, but do you see penis?

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't see it because I wasn't looking. I imagine you saw his balls.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, you have to do is huge, dude. Yeah. Just peek around the corner, you'll see a fucking thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was far enough away that I could see the balls, not the penis. That's why I don't know what that says about that bull. Yeah, but they had dogs there. So I had two dogs there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then with friends and family, I'm. What.

[Joe Sanigato]

What time did the party get started?

[Frank Alvarez]

The dirt.

[Joe Sanigato]

The dirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

The burgers. And dogs didn't go on the grill until 1:00pm okay. Oh no.

[Joe Sanigato]

2:00Pm 2:00pm So 2:08, you got a dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I actually I, I allow like the guests to eat first and then I come after I'm done cooking entirely.

[Joe Sanigato]

Then I go, everyone's done.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then I go in. So I did have two dogs on Saturday. I had six dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Over the course of how many hours?

[Frank Alvarez]

It sounds about like eight hours.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Three burgers. And I had several beers, some bourbon.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you said you had an espresso martini.

[Frank Alvarez]

An espresso martini, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Midnight Bean entering 4,500 calories.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think it's that much. Everybody chill. I was walking, grilling in the sun. I was, it was a little hot. I had, I lost, I shed some calories that day. Why is this irresponsible?

[Joe Sanigato]

That's bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also had some leftover dogs and burgers on Monday.

[Joe Sanigato]

Monday. So you had a three day bender.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I relapsed.

[Joe Sanigato]

A three day dog bender.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was, it was quite the weekend. Yes, sir. So you had six dogs on Sunday.

[Joe Sanigato]

Technically. Right. But how many dogs did you make?

[Frank Alvarez]

Five pound bag of them. So.

[Joe Sanigato]

Five pound bag?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

They sell them by weight?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, they do. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

How many people were at the party?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, there was a good amount. I would say at least 20 people. Wow. Including kids, you know.

[Joe Sanigato]

So how many come in a five pound bag?

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I don't know. But I held up the. Becca made a TikTok and so funny.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm featuring way more hot dogs than, than like it probably.

[Frank Alvarez]

Becca. Becca made a TikTok and held up the platter of dogs and it was insane. They, they came, they come like proper dogs, like tied, like the string tying them. Oh, so it's one long thing of dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, what, like sausages?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, sure, but they were dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

They were all connected.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were all connected, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you had to cut the umbilical cord of all these dogs?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Hold on. Here's the, here's the, here's me with the dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can you send that to me?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It's on my wife's TikTok. That's great. It's.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's all of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the, that's the plated dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

That looks like the amount that you. First of all, those are not normal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are big guys.

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are massive dogs, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are big dogs. Yes. I will confirm they're. They're pretty long. I would say they're at least 9 to 10 inches.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you had six of those.

[Frank Alvarez]

But of course, when they cook, they shrink a little bit.

[Joe Sanigato]

You had 60 inches of hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all, I don't like your line of questioning here. Second of all, I don't like how.

[Joe Sanigato]

Feet of hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like how fucking giggly big boy is over here. I don't like this judgment I'm feeling. I need someone to back me up here. I had. Yeah, I had a Memorial Day weekend.

[Joe Sanigato]

All you did was send it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also. Yeah, of course I sent it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sometimes you have to do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I don't like. I don't dog during the week, but I'm not opposed to dogging during the week. Yeah, I just did it. Right. And also I have openly spoken about.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a snowball.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not only a snowball. You, you. I've talked with you candidly. We've had a lot going on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's been very stressful with house and housing stuff and, you know, all this timing and everything. Yeah. So I cut loose. I. I cut loose and I had 10 hot dogs in three days. Big deal. I had a big deal. And they all had the works on them. What I don't. Of course I have.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, what are you forgetting? Yeah. So what goes on top?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, let's start with the burgers. I had first. So obviously naturally cheese.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Which kind?

[Frank Alvarez]

American cheese.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it's the best. I learned from that movie, the menu. Although that movie is a little out there. It's the best cheese for a burger because it doesn't split, stays gooey. Okay. Lettuce, tomato, mayo, onions, pickles. Might have been some bacon on there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. So we had three bacon dogs, bacon burgers.

[Frank Alvarez]

I really hate how laughy you are. I don't think. This is not that hysterical.

[Joe Sanigato]

I just didn't know you could buy hot dogs by the sack.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you can. And they're great hot dogs too. I am a lover of all types of hot Costco, BJ's, Costco, Thumans. They're deli sized dogs. Look those bad boys up. They come in a vacuum sealed white bag.

[Joe Sanigato]

The details are great.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do. They come in a vacuum sealed white bag.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had. Each of the burgers had that. Each of the dogs had sauerkraut, baked beans and ketchup.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

So yeah, we're up. Why are you so.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm locking it. That's crazy. That's awesome.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you're calling it irresponsible? I'm calling it cutting loose. Cutting loose. Put. Put my feet up. Tying My hair up. What's the one putting my feet up? Tie my hair up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Tie my feet up. Hang me upside down and feed me 10 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tied my hair up. Sounds crazy in the context of eating a hot dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Tie my hair up.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, let's. Let's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what's even funnier about this whole conversation right here is that health nut Mikey is sitting in the other room right now, and he is probably like. He's probably like. Like, because Mikey's such a sweet guy, he's not gonna laugh about it. He's gonna be like, you need to be careful, brother. Like, he's gonna take the serious approach. I feel good. I let loose.

[Joe Sanigato]

Big deal.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know? How can we count the calories?

[Joe Sanigato]

We can.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can we count the calories? I mean, let's figure out just Sunday.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that you would have to run a full marathon to burn off a third of that.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so it was a Thuman's beef hot dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know if it's that specific.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think you could Google the calories, and I think it'll be like, I don't know. I haven't been counting. I think it's like 200.

[Joe Sanigato]

200 what? For hot dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

Per hot dog and then the buns, obviously, right? Let's say you put a third of a cup of Bush's baked beans home style. You put like a. You know, like a little bit of. It says 2.

[Joe Sanigato]

2. 160 calories.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not bad, dude. Not bad at all.

[Joe Sanigato]

Times six. That's. Now we're getting up there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Times six. That's 1200.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Six buns. 200 times 6, guys.

[Joe Sanigato]

200.

[Frank Alvarez]

200 per hot dog. Times 6. That's 1200.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why are you saying 200? Why are you saying 200?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because it says 200 per hot dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

It says 160.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, it's saying 160. But that's Wegmans.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was just going down here. 130. Doomman's, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Even better. There we go.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. I don't hate that.

[Joe Sanigato]

130 times 6.

[Frank Alvarez]

130 times 6 is 780.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yes, it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So 786 buns. Those are maybe like 10 calories each. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

What? And now we get beans, and then we get the burgers.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I probably ate, like, I might have could, food wise, had 2,000 calories that day.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. No, you don't think. Did you eat breakfast or. The first thing you put in your mouth was a Hot beer.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm pretty sure I ate breakfast. I had some overnight oats with berries.

[Joe Sanigato]

Amazing. How many beers? I'm doing the calculations.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's round. Let's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's say an even five.

[Joe Sanigato]

And even five beers.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were Miller lights.

[Joe Sanigato]

Naturally.

[Frank Alvarez]

Naturally. You know how I am, Mr. Miller Light. Yeah, I did have an espresso martini, which.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's like nothing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Caffeine is a fat burner.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is a diuretic, so. Sure, sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bourbon.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had a cup of a glass. Two glasses of bourbon.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, it went up. It's all coming back to me now. We'll toss in 250 for the works.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I had a.

[Joe Sanigato]

Feels low. Feels low.

[Frank Alvarez]

2:50 for the works, too. Are we including anything outside of that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you have any lollipops or.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did have dessert.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. Okay. What would you.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a slice of ice cream cake.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, chocolate crunchies.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now we're talking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

God, now I'm just jealous.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, listen, Come on over. Come on over, baby. Come on over. Come on over, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. I don't know that I could eat that many, to be honest with you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You probably can't because your brain will tell you to stop. Here's the thing. My stomach is often stronger than my brain, right? So I eat fast enough that my brain hasn't even figured out that I'm full yet. So by the time I have my fourth dog, it's like, oh.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you just had a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you just had one. Then it's like, wait a sec. You had 2 and 4.

[Joe Sanigato]

On the conservative end, we'll say it was about 4400 calories. How did you get that math? Just the hot dogs. There's no way. The hot dogs, the buns, burgers, slices of cheese, beers, bourbon, ice cream, cake. Oh, we're adding the. The other start. Yeah, you start to get there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you didn't take into account how many steps I took that day. It's true. I took well over. I would say, 10,000 steps.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, so that's probably like track 300, 600 calories. Yeah. No, but your body burns your. Your. Your BMR. So he's probably. He burned, I would say, like, 2400 calories.

[Frank Alvarez]

So that's not bad. I'm in the net positive.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't want to be. You want to be in a deficit. Yeah, you really. You really earned, like, 2,000 calories, which is fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's just say this. You call it irresponsibility. And that's fair. I know that you care for me and my. My cardiovascular health.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you were doing this every day, that would be irresponsible.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey, I can't do this every day. Obviously, I'm not. I'm no longer.

[Joe Sanigato]

I break no 1.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I think I. I had a great time.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's a. It's. I think it's amazing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Missed you. Wish you were there sharing some dog moments with me. That would have been great. You know, I understand why you couldn't come. That's okay. But, like, the dogs are about.

[Joe Sanigato]

The dogs are about.

[Frank Alvarez]

I might have to chill for another couple weeks. I'll be honest. I don't know when I'll even have the chance to have hot dogs over the next couple weeks.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's totally fine. I think it's okay to let your hair down and, like, go crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't have it tied up. See, I see what you're doing there. I wasn't tying my hair up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, I was using an expression. I didn't think it was tied up. I just, like, just let it down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's go crazy Release your inhibitions, you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Feel they're in your skin no one else can feel it for you yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

What a great song.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So, okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Amazing man. I am.

[Frank Alvarez]

And shout out to all of our listeners and supporters. They've been sending us, tweeting at us, pictures of their dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Some people have sent us hot dogs. And I'm like, what the hell is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It looks like a dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, it looks like a leg. Some people get thick dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, baby, people could take down more than you can.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's sexually. No, I know, but I'm saying, I didn't know they made hot dogs that thick. Listen, man, it's like a mondo.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is America, okay?

[Joe Sanigato]

Just get bigger. They get bigger and better and better and stronger.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hear me out. Spicy hot dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

They make those, do they? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't know that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I thought of it first.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Said it first.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is what I mean.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I like spicy things. You do. When they have foods and it's like, oh, it's a spicy. Then they name a food that's not normally spicy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm like, yeah, you are the antithesis of normal white people. Like, you can. You can handle spice.

[Joe Sanigato]

I like spice.

[Frank Alvarez]

You handle it well. It's also because you have spice at a reasonable level. You're not like someone else in this room that's like, we're gonna eat the hottest fucking condom on the planet.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, I remember when I first, like, met Ant. Him and his boys were like. Him and the picky boys were doing, like, every single day. It was like, yo, hottest cheese ball that's ever existed. We're gonna eat 10 of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, I don't want to do this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. It's a lot.

[Joe Sanigato]

Still got those cheese balls, which, by the way, I had a couple.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stale, disgusting.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I could bring them in.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you don't have to. No one's asking you to do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

It would have to be at the end of an episode. I would rather eat them off.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I did the One Chip challenge at the beginning of an episode once. Do you remember that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Vaguely.

[Frank Alvarez]

We did it, I think, because we reached a certain amount of followers and we said, patrons. We said we were gonna do the One chip challenge, and then you didn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's the thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like you say stuff and then you're like, we're gonna do that. And then. I never agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that's one of those situations. Yeah, I think.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then you're like, we have to do it. We said, I'm like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said, I think that is exactly what that was. I think we had talked about it for weeks, and you. I think you even along the way said, like, I'm not doing this. But I said, we are. But we're in this together. We are.

[Joe Sanigato]

We are.

[Frank Alvarez]

We are the youth of a nation. I know. Come on, baby. Don't ask me who sings that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pod.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that pod?

[Joe Sanigato]

Is it pod?

[Frank Alvarez]

I always confuse pod and puddle of mud.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, sounds very similar. Pod. My oldest brother. I don't know why I'm saying that to you. Thomas told me. He convinced us that it was an acronym for pissed off dolphins.

[Frank Alvarez]

Might be. We don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

We don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're not gonna look it up. I'll tell you that right now.

[Joe Sanigato]

Could be pissed off dolphins.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a big. They had some big hits. Them and Puddle of Mud around the creed.

[Joe Sanigato]

Puddle of Mud. You know, Puddle of Mud. Wait.

[Frank Alvarez]

I always remember the song from. It was used for the promo for 2001's Survivor series, where it was Team WW, Team WWF versus Team Alliance. And it was. I love the way you look at me. I feel a bit just inside. I don't know that you don't remember that song.

[Joe Sanigato]

The only Puddle of Mud song I know is like, is it blurry? I forgot how it goes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I want to get your voice out of My head. Because I'm a guy you'll never find.

[Joe Sanigato]

What is that sound? It's light. Just been struck in by the light.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had me so good. I was like, what is that? I thought you were going crazy for a sec.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, it's light strike. Ladies and gentlemen, we have light light strike. This contains alcohol, so you got to be 21 at least until in order to enjoy this. But I'm telling you right now, man, I feel struck in with the light.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's got the strike of light stricken. Yay. He's been striked by light.

[Joe Sanigato]

Listen, this is. This is really good on the sides here. 10% coconut water, non carbonated sea salt, and it's gluten free. It's a hard refresher. Okay. It's like. It tastes so good. This is a lemon lime flavor, and there's 5% alcohol in here. Is it 5%? I don't want to. I don't want to talk out of turn. It is 5% alcohol, but it is really good. All right. And we love to be struck by the light.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do me a favor. Add. Add lightning to this. When I do this. Thunder. Is that even in.

[Joe Sanigato]

It'd be cool if no one did anything. It might not be it might not be it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's try one more time here. He goes here. One more time forward.

[Joe Sanigato]

But yeah, so go get yourself some light strike. Light strike. Okay. It's bold. It's ambitious. Look at it. It's fun. It tastes really good. It's refreshing. It's a nice drink. When I sit outside in the sunlight, I want to be refreshed, but I also want to get a little bump going. Hit myself with a little light strike. Ladies and gentlemen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can't confirm nor deny. Sounds like something that would actually. No, I can't confirm. It'd go good with a hot dog or 10.

[Joe Sanigato]

Or. Or 10 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Very clear. Don't. Don't do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do not do that. But yeah, go get yourself some light strike, ladies and gentlemen. Go enjoy that. That. That wonderful light. We also have bonobos. If you see us in these nice shirts, it's because we're wearing bonobos right now. Me and Frankie had the pleasure of shooting for their. Oh, he's got the chinos on. He's. We also, we had the pleasure of shooting for their summer linen collection. If you go on the website, you might see some pictures of us. Just saying. And you guys probably saw my Instagram, but that was a lot of fun. But bonobos is awesome. Frank loves bonobos too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big Giant bonobos fan for very long.

[Joe Sanigato]

This was like a couple of weeks before we got an email from them. But he wore the Bonobos hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sweater at the Vancouver show.

[Joe Sanigato]

At the show. And he's like, dude, you see this Bonobos.

[Frank Alvarez]

Before that? Before that, I've been bonobo'd out for a while, so Bonode love their clothes. Incredible fit, incredible feel, breathe. Breathable, airy, perfect for the summer. And they also have stuff for all seasons if you're looking for it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And the chinos that he's got on, show him. Put your leg up so these, dude, your foot gets hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

I told you, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's unbelievable.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think I'm kidding?

[Joe Sanigato]

I, I, I thought you were kidding. But anyway, Bonobos is giving you 20 off your purchase with the code by 20, ladies and gentlemen. So go to Bonobos and buy some stuff. No need to bundle anything just by 20 at checkout. And this offer is good until June 30th. Okay. So get yourself some bonobos. They have lovely shirts like this. They got great chinos and shirts like that. They have a bunch of other stuff. I've shopped with them for years. I have a pair of pants that I refuse to throw out. And they're still, they still hold up their bonobos. I bought them like maybe seven years ago or six years ago, something like that, but they're great. So head over to bonobos.com, grab your fresh new pieces, and you use that code by 20 and you will get that 20 off. All right? So there you go, folks. Boom, boom, boom. I have a question for you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yes, baby. This is good. Since we're doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sending it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't want to say sending it. Get a hot dog in here. Let me ask you a question as someone who's got a lot of hair on your head.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I do. Would you. You have a lot of hair, too. You're doing good.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're doing good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your hair's doing well.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I don't think I have, like, no hair. Yeah. Thank you. But you get $10 per hair follicle. Wait. Oh, no, no. So here's what it is. If someone. How many hair follicles are you willing to get rid of forever? If each one is $10.

[Frank Alvarez]

Does that include face.

[Joe Sanigato]

Your whole body? Oh, I mean, but you'll never have hair there again.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. I mean, you could take hair from the Netherlands, you know, that's not.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

What does that mean? The nether region, you know, like from, from Gooch to, to, to you know, back. Around the back. Yeah, the back. You could take every single follicle there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could lose, like.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you be hairless on your arms?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I basically am. I don't. I could probably count the follicles of my arms. I don't have a lot of arm hair.

[Joe Sanigato]

What about your head? Would you take any?

[Frank Alvarez]

This is. This is. This is. I feel like it'd be a crime against humanity if I took anything for my head.

[Joe Sanigato]

I looked it up. You have 5 million hair follicles on your whole body.

[Frank Alvarez]

So 5 million times 10 would be 50 million.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, you have the mathematician over here. Thank God, he's figured that out, ladies and gentlemen.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what, did it right? I would say 5 million. I would take all from the gorge area.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you do your legs and just have like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would do from the.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just have like ants legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would. Come on. I would do from like mid thigh up. Because like, that doesn't need hair.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could take all like chest and belly hair. You know, I don't know how much like follicles that are. I imagine most of them are up here.

[Joe Sanigato]

So, like it says 90 to 150,000 on your head.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I think that's not 90 to 150,000 on your Head. So then the other 4,850,000 or elsewhere, I don't know. So then take every single other hair follicle. But then you're outside from the neck down.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you'll be very slippery, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'll be fucking $45 million.

[Joe Sanigato]

No pubes. No pubes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, sure, I'm not like attached to my pubes. We don't have like a buddy. Buddy relationship.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right. But like having none, you would have no pubes.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, take half of them. That's also worse. Yeah, yeah, I imagine.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I guess I have some.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you could take them for the.

[Joe Sanigato]

Money for all your. All your arms.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would say from the mid thigh to my neck.

[Joe Sanigato]

Take it all.

[Frank Alvarez]

Take every single. And I would even like, if I could, I'd establish like.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, a line.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I establish a line. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like take it all. Then you could do like ears. I don't have ear hair. But like, I mean, there's smaller hairs in there. Nose, nose, nose could go.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Toes, toes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Get my toes out of here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Toes. I have little one like little hairs on my knuckles.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. No knuckle hairs.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could take all that. You know, we actually have a lot of hair. Yeah. And I learned once, in addition to. It was probably the same day I learned about that whole tuna thing, that most of the hair on your body is programmed to only grow to a certain length. Like, literally, chemically programmed. That's why.

[Joe Sanigato]

That makes sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That's why your legs don't become, like, crazy. Your hair, like, it's like your pubes. Your facial hair. Not your balls, your head. No, your pubes. They'll grow and grow and grow if you let them go.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, I was gonna say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but, like, your legs, your arms, your eyebrows, your eyelashes, they'll stop. I would also.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, imagine we had to get haircuts for our eyebrows.

[Frank Alvarez]

There are people that do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, people threat them. Yeah, that's not what I mean. I mean, I imagine they grew long.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, that would. That would be. That'd be not fun.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think I meant. But I don't know. I, like, obviously people shape them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there are people that do get them trimmed.

[Joe Sanigato]

I wonder what you would look like with like, like, eyebrows, like, done.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean? Yeah, I, I mean, look at my brothers. There you go. You got it. You got it figured out. My brothers, do they. Chris at least does get his eyebrows done.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like you would look, I.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I love my eyebrows.

[Joe Sanigato]

I like your look.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just like your look. Thank you so much.

[Joe Sanigato]

And now with the hair, you kind of look like a, Like a bust of a. Like a old Greek or Roman thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gotcha. Gotcha. Like, Like a, Like a, Like a Julius Caesar. He was Roman, but I hear what you're saying. Yeah, Yeah, I like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just think that, like, the eyebrows. I also have a very pronounced brow itself. Like, Becca makes fun of me.

[Joe Sanigato]

You have, like, a Baltic forehead.

[Frank Alvarez]

She says. I don't know what the hell that means. Like, Balto who?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, Baltic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like they have like a, Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

A. Yeah, it is. It comes out a little bit. Like, I don't need to wear. Like, the sun doesn't bother me because my eyebrows take it. Does that make sense?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you're saying, like, you're.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have shade. Yeah, I kind of have a little bit of shade going on. I love it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it looks great.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you so much. I would say, outside of, like, my facial hair, which I enjoy. My eyebrows, my eyelashes.

[Joe Sanigato]

But the thing is, you could. You could do some.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, no, but I have patchy. I have patchy facial hair as it is. I need every follicle.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was gonna say also, like, to get your beard to a length. But that. That's dumb. That's not what I meant at all.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I guess. I guess you could shape it up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could get rid of, like, I would probably have. Whatever. I. If I were to do this, I would have it be like. The Falcons would be. Would be picked by, like, a really talented, skilled Dominican barber. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

I know exactly what you mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just be like, I need this. And they'd be like, we'll take it all my free. I'd be like, line me up. And he's like, this way go.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you like having a very straight beard?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Me neither.

[Frank Alvarez]

I kind of like. I like doing it myself more than I like getting it done.

[Joe Sanigato]

I usually tell my barber to not do this. Sometimes I'll do it, but then other times, I'm like, I feel like I look strange when it's so sharp.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah. You see those people that have them so done, like, fuck. Who was. I think it was Fat Joe. The rapper.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, still he.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I'm saying, like, this shit is.

[Joe Sanigato]

Done, and his shit is.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's immaculately done. And it. At that point, it looks a little. Yeah, I don't like it. I like a little like.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know your barbers got the protractor out, like, well, when they do like.

[Frank Alvarez]

The whole, like, they put, like, that, like plastic.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's never happened to me. I know.

[Joe Sanigato]

It happens like a compass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They, like, map it out to your face. Or like the people that do, like, the mouthpiece when they shave, nursing that. That's a real thing. It's a goatee mouthpiece. So you literally put it in your mouth.

[Joe Sanigato]

Didn't you have a goatee at one point?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, bro. You go back and watch old clips. I go through it with my facial hair. Okay. There's cleanly shaven Frank. There's goatee. There's somewhere. I'm sure there's just mustache, but that's not my.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude. I saw a clip the other day on TikTok, and it was like. It was me, you, and Danny, and it was when you had long hair and, like, a goatee. I was like, this doesn't even look like Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Well, I was also 40 pounds lighter. I think that was right when I was sick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

That was nuts, dude. I was like, wow, this is such a weird. I think you look much better now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you. I think this is the best look you've had.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, now it's a Compliment off. We're complimenting off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Am I allowed to compliment you once you compliment me?

[Joe Sanigato]

I know you know me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just take it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. Too much and by it, you the compliment. 10 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

You didn't need to go there.

[Joe Sanigato]

I didn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do. I think like this, what you've gotten figured out. You're not gonna get better than this.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's hard to go worse than where I was.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome to the club, baby. Actually, no, I. I've liked my styles and looks, all of them.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't look back at any of them. You go, well, well, buzz cut.

[Frank Alvarez]

When I was buzz cut. Buzz like.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I think when we were younger and you had the buzz cut, like, it looked good on you. It never looked good on me.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I think it looked good on you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you insane?

[Frank Alvarez]

As a child, Joey? No, I think so, but I don't think so. I think now with the addition of facial hair, as we are now in our 30s, some of us older than others.

[Joe Sanigato]

Son of a.

[Frank Alvarez]

As we're now in our 30s, the addition of facial hair, you need to balance it out with, you know, like, with head hair. Like, we can't go back to the shape, like, buzz cut look just wouldn't work.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I just also don't have like the hairline for that. Not that it's like horrible, but like, it just like is up higher.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So like, if I was just to buzz, I'd be chill. Matt, for we should do.

[Frank Alvarez]

If we get to a certain patron, we should buzz and shave completely.

[Joe Sanigato]

I wouldn't. I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not?

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, I've net since I've been growing facial hair. I have never been clean shaven once since high school.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have. I have the times that we did like drag. Drag. I did it.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you also shaved it randomly one time and just showed up like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, the other time was when we did the Halloween makeup. When we did that makeup when I was the cat and you were the devil.

[Joe Sanigato]

The cat. Well, yeah, there was that time, but there was another time where like, this is what I'm talking about. When I was. My last apartment in Astoria. Remember one day you just showed up and you were clean shaven. I was like, hello.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sometimes I. If I like mess it up, I'll be like, just go. Just get out of here. Just go on and get.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you ever just do just a stash, like a porn stash?

[Frank Alvarez]

If I. I would, but I don't have a powerful stash like yours. Mine is. I think it's Powerful. No, mine is shorter and thinner. If I had it like, not, not shorter. It's longer and thinner. If I had like yours how it's shorter.

[Joe Sanigato]

I buzz that though.

[Frank Alvarez]

And puffier. I think it would work. But I also, you know, those 10 hot dogs are catching up to me and my jawline's not what it used to be.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that you have a good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love this episode. This is, this is a really good one. I needed this. All right, here we go.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're just going back. This isn't a podcast anymore. I was gonna say, I think you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have a good face shape. Thank you. I. I agree. I like my face shape. But like, this has just gotten a little.

[Joe Sanigato]

We talking about, you know, like, have.

[Frank Alvarez]

You seen that tick tock trend where girls are like. It'll be like, girls, humble your man. Check his jawline.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, and then they take their beard.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they go and they go like that. Like, mine has gotten a little chubby down here. Just because 10 hot dogs in a weekend. You know what I'm saying? That's the only reason.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's totally fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

I agree.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm cool with it.

[Joe Sanigato]

When you agree that hard, it sounds like you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I agree. It's not bad.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yes. That's what I've been saying. Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think if we get to 35,000 patrons.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not shaving. I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on. Why not?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because I'm afraid what I will look like.

[Frank Alvarez]

We'll do it together. I'm scared after the shows.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's another thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

After the shows, after like or. Alright, let's make it a little more difficult. 36,000 patrons.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not shaving everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on. It'll be a fun experiment. We could do it on an episode.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would rather shave like my legs fully.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell even is that means Nothing.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, dude, I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just.

[Joe Sanigato]

I just.

[Frank Alvarez]

I listen. Hello. Me too.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I am. I agree. I am not in any position to shave everything either. But I'm saying if we get to 36,000 patrons, you and I. What's everything from the neck up like your head. Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can't get rid of. Oh, that's what you're saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I'm not even considering that. What are you insane? You can't get rid of your hair. It's like a crime.

[Frank Alvarez]

It grows back, brother.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're gonna shave your head into a buzz cut?

[Frank Alvarez]

I for.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yo, I bet this motherfucker would shave his head into a buzz cut if you shaved your head into a buzz cut and grew out your beard even further. I bet that would look fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nice try.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

I see what he's trying to do. He's trying to make me look like an angel.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm being dead ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

You. You're being a dead ass right now.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm being a deceased anus.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think that would look good at all, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why? You have a great hairline.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you. I just don't think it would look good.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it will look cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

We'll see.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think you should do it like, you know, when the girls are like.

[Frank Alvarez]

13, you should be like just go, full skin head.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's crazy. But like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't think so, Kratos. Boy, you have no idea what that is.

[Joe Sanigato]

But that's. What's that game called? It's called. You got it. It's called something that. Pages.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on. No, you're right there. You're right there.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know it's not Pages. What's the first letter?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Harm. No.

[Frank Alvarez]

War.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nope. Har.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't let me do this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, God of War.

[Frank Alvarez]

There it is. I was going to let him go with Pages, to be honest.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pages. I was thinking Page master for some.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great movie.

[Joe Sanigato]

Great movie. Underrated movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, so good. Try to show it to the kids. They didn't give a flying fuck.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's so disappointing.

[Frank Alvarez]

God of War and God of War, Ragnarok are emotional journeys. Just want to throw that out there. You will.

[Joe Sanigato]

Those are video games for those who don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

They know.

[Joe Sanigato]

They know.

[Frank Alvarez]

They know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Boy, they know. Dano. Dano.

[Frank Alvarez]

That wasn't bad.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, I've never. I've never played it, so I don't know. I can't comment.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really, really good.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're pretty good at impression, so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you. I think. I think if you're. We could discuss offline.

[Joe Sanigato]

No buzz cutting my head. There's not a chance.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. All right. So then never mind.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's no way.

[Frank Alvarez]

You see what he is robbing from you people? You see what he's willing to do for you guys? Nothing.

[Joe Sanigato]

You won't run a 10k.

[Frank Alvarez]

One of those is significantly different than the other. I can sit down and get my face shaved and my head buzzed. The other one needs me to run. How am I going to eat 10 hot dogs?

[Joe Sanigato]

You put them at the finish line or we do a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

10K is what, like six miles? Yeah, I could do that. I'm not gonna.

[Joe Sanigato]

But what if we Did a hot dog, 10K. So we gotta eat six hot dogs every mile.

[Frank Alvarez]

Holy Joey, you'll be dead. Yeah, you won't make it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't even know.

[Frank Alvarez]

60 hot dogs. What?

[Joe Sanigato]

What'd you say?

[Frank Alvarez]

You said 10 hot dogs every mile.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, no, I said a hot dog every mile.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you said 10. You definitely said 10.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, so then I misspoke. I mean, one hot dog, 60 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's why I said, like, we'd be dead.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

One hot dog every mile. Could we do it? Sure. Will we? No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Maybe not those big boys you got, but we got, like, little regular ones.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ten pigs, one pig in a blanket per mile. I'll run a fucking ultra.

[Joe Sanigato]

100 mile race. Oh, man. Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. That is our episode. We appreciate you guys watching along again. Go to the basementyard.com and get tickets. Two shows, if you haven't already. We have some shows that are. There's still some tickets available, so we will see you out there. We are, like, now, as we're currently recording, like a month away from our tour starting. So we're very excited and just excited to get back out there and hang out and have a good time. But go to the basementyard.com and also go to the basement yard.com. submit if you're coming to the shows and fill out those forums so that, you know, we can interact with you guys in the crowd and whatnot. It's gonna be a fun time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Very excited, Very excited. We love getting back after it. And yeah, we're just. We're excited.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hide your hot dogs. No, we're coming.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't hide them. Don't hide them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hide your hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Enjoy in the open. Hot dog in public. Dog dog. Pride dogs. It's June, which is pride month, right? Is it? Or did Trump take that away?

[Joe Sanigato]

Props.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, but Pride dogs. Gay dogs. Gay dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

LGBTQIA plus hot dogs equals.

[Joe Sanigato]

Equals love. This sucks. Whatever we're doing is not funny. But yeah, thank you guys so much. We appreciate it. Don't forget to. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Patreon.

[Joe Sanigato]

Patreon.

[Frank Alvarez]

That one.

[Joe Sanigato]

Base mirror. Go sign up for that. And that is all. See you guys next time.