#507 - We're Going To The Major Leagues

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard #507 - We're Going To The Major Leagues

Host Information:

• Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
• Presented by: Santagato Studios
• Release Date: June 16, 2025

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1. Opening Banter and Comedy Dynamics (00:00 - 02:34)

Joe and Frank kick off the episode with their signature humor, delving into the layered nature of their comedy. They liken their jokes to an onion, emphasizing depth and complexity.

• Joe: "Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep." (00:25)
• Frank: "Listen, man. We have layered jokes here. Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep." (00:25)

2. Hilarious Debate on Vaginal Anatomy (02:34 - 07:05)

The hosts engage in a comedic yet candid conversation about the biological aspects of female anatomy, specifically debating the depth of the vagina. Their lighthearted banter explores various measurements and humorous analogies.

• Joe: "How deep do you think a vagina is? Like, let's just, like, get it out there." (00:57)
• Frank: "They're in there. It should be spoken of in more reverence than just something like inches and cms." (02:34)
• Joe: "Those dudes don't have 4 inch penises. And their penises are all the way in there." (06:10)

3. Excitement for Upcoming Shows and MLB First Pitches (16:26 - 29:14)

Joe and Frank express their enthusiasm about their return to live shows, announcing upcoming tours in cities like Kansas City and St. Louis. They share their excitement about throwing the first pitch at a Major League Baseball game for the San Diego Padres, highlighting it as a significant milestone.

• Frank: "We're back at it. For those of you guys that have not seen. Go check it out." (16:30)
• Joe: "The Padres are really hooking it up. And we've never thrown out a first at a Major League baseball game before, and this is, like, insane." (22:27)
• Frank: "Super huge honor. We are really, really excited." (22:37)

4. Sydney Sweeney's Bath Water Soap - A Quirky Discussion (34:38 - 55:00)

The conversation shifts to pop culture as the hosts discuss actress Sydney Sweeney's unique endeavor of selling her bath water as soap. They humorously debate the motivations behind such a product and speculate on its market, blending comedy with genuine curiosity.

• Joe: "We're talking about the fact that Sydney Sweeney is selling her bath water via soap." (34:38)
• Frank: "I could see both sides of the argument. Good for her. Exploit these fucking losers that are gonna buy this shit." (35:08)
• Joey: "Oh, it's a genius thing that they're doing. They probably pitched her on and be like, yo, it's like a toning tongue in cheek type of thing." (49:20)
• Frank: "It's only about the publicity." (54:37)

5. Modern Social Trends: Vibe Checks at Bars (58:18 - 67:00)

Joe and Frank explore contemporary social behaviors, specifically the trend of "vibe checks" where individuals call bars beforehand to gauge the atmosphere. They debate the practicality and implications of this practice, offering humorous takes on both perspectives.

• Frank: "They're reportedly calling up bars before they go to bars to get a vibe check." (58:28)
• Joey: "I like that. I think calling up a bar and being like, yo, is it lit in there?" (58:56)
• Frank: "If you're calling a bar to see a vibe check, it's the bar's time they could lose." (62:05)

6. Final Thoughts and Apologies (65:04 - 71:17)

As the episode winds down, Frank addresses earlier remarks about consumers purchasing Sydney Sweeney's soap, offering apologies and clarifications. The hosts continue their humorous interplay, reflecting on their discussions and teasing future content.

• Frank: "Forgive me for calling these people losers. That's not their choice for being losers." (54:16)
• Frank: "But if you price it right, you could market different batches as exclusive." (43:17)
• Joey: "I think a lot of people are buying it as a joke." (48:37)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Joe on Comedy Depth: "Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep." (00:25)
• Frank on Biological Respect: "It should be spoken of in more reverence than just something like inches and cms." (02:34)
• Joe on MLB Milestone: "The Padres are really hooking it up. And we've never thrown out a first at a Major League baseball game before, and this is, like, insane." (22:27)
• Frank on Sydney Sweeney's Soap: "Good for her. Exploit these fucking losers that are gonna buy this shit." (35:08)
• Joey on Vibe Checks: "I like that. I think calling up a bar and being like, yo, is it lit in there?" (58:56)
• Frank's Apology: "Forgive me for calling these people losers. That's not their choice for being losers." (54:16)

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Conclusion:

In episode #507, Joe and Frank navigate through a blend of risqué humor, personal anecdotes, and cultural commentary. From playful debates on anatomy to exciting news about integrating with Major League Baseball, and quirky discussions on pop culture phenomena like Sydney Sweeney's bath water soap, the hosts deliver their trademark engaging and layered comedy. Their interactions not only entertain but also invite listeners to reflect on modern social trends and personal milestones.

For those interested in experiencing Joe and Frank's dynamic live performances, tickets are available for their upcoming shows in various cities. Stay tuned for more episodes filled with humor, insights, and the unmistakable chemistry that defines The Basement Yard.

Transcript

[Joey]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. I'm here with Padre Frank. I don't know why that works.

[Frank]

And you're trying to use that as a. Yeah, right. I am a padre by definition.

[Joey]

True.

[Frank]

Because I am a dad.

[Joey]

And Hispanic as well.

[Frank]

And see.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's a layered thing that I.

[Frank]

Listen, man. We have layered jokes here. Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep.

[Joey]

It's like an onion. Well, now that you said it goes deep, mine doesn't make sense. It goes deep like an onion.

[Frank]

Yeah, it has layers, sure. But, like, our comedy, like, it goes deep. Like, what's something that goes deep?

[Joey]

Big penises. In women.

[Frank]

See, I didn't.

[Joey]

In women, I didn't. I mean, they go in men. Can you really get that deep in there, though? I don't know.

[Frank]

This is a wild way to start. I'm not even a minute in. How in God's name have we dug this hole for ourselves?

[Joey]

How deep do you think a vagina is? Like, let's just, like, get it out there. What's the ultimate max?

[Frank]

Just a guess.

[Joey]

How deep can we get in there?

[Frank]

I don't know, dude.

[Joey]

I know how deep we can get in there. I'm not talking about us.

[Frank]

We. Why are you. We're not.

[Joey]

We're not talking about us.

[Frank]

Why are we.

[Joey]

We're talking about. What's the absolute biological.

[Frank]

Are we. Going by. What are we doing? Are we. I mean. It's biological. So we need to go centimeters, so.

[Joey]

Oh, now I don't. Now you've lost me.

[Frank]

Well, 2.54 centimeters is one inch, you know? Okay, so.

[Joey]

So how many sims?

[Frank]

So I would say.

[Joey]

Because you could get stuff in there.

[Frank]

I would say, like, 10 Sims. Frankie, it's like, 5 inches. No. Is it. That's the only. No, it ain't. No, it ain't. It's like three. Yeah. No, no, no. It's more.

[Joey]

It's at least 20.

[Frank]

20 Sims? Yeah. That's like.

[Joey]

I don't know if that's right.

[Frank]

That's like, what, eight?

[Joey]

What's the ultimate depth?

[Frank]

That's.

[Joey]

It's not five inches.

[Frank]

I don't know. Should we go. I feel like we should pay more respect and we should go by, like, another unit of measurement. Not CMS or inches. Like, fathoms or something.

[Joey]

What's fathoms?

[Frank]

It's fathoms. You guys know fathoms? You know fathoms, right?

[Joey]

I know what the word fathom mean, but I don't know as, like.

[Frank]

Like, 20,000 fathoms. 20,000 leagues under the sea. And there's fathom a fathom.

[Joey]

We're pirates now.

[Frank]

I mean, you know, I feel like a woman's Berganga is. It should be spoken of in more reverence than just something like inches and cms and stuff like that.

[Joey]

Who's being disrespectful? I'm saying biologically. How. How.

[Frank]

How far does it go? I. You. First of all, we've already established that I speak for women on this show, okay? And I'm telling them. I'm telling you, not them. I don't tell them. I tell them, too. He's being disrespectful.

[Joey]

I don't even know what you're saying.

[Frank]

What is a fathom? It is a unit of measurement. I know that, but to who?

[Joey]

Shakespeare?

[Frank]

I think to, like, Moby Dick or some. Well, that's the whale. That is Captain Ahab is the guy who might use fathoms.

[Joey]

I don't know what that is.

[Frank]

I would say, like, 8 inches is like the. Like. But, like, there's like.

[Joey]

You have an answer.

[Padre Frank]

I have an answer.

[Frank]

I know.

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't think it's eight. I think it's more.

[Frank]

I think it's like. You've been to the lake house, right?

[Joey]

How are you gonna make it a.

[Frank]

The end of the lake house? When you. Have you ever gone kayaking all the way at the end of the lake house?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know how it's like the water, it comes to, like, an air, and then it, like, further goes more like a brook. So maybe it's just like. It's like vagina and then it just. Like. There's, like, pathways in the back to a point. Alleyways in the back.

[Joey]

It comes to a point.

[Frank]

I don't know if point is the delta.

[Joey]

I don't really know what that is.

[Frank]

A delta is the opening of a river, I think, into the. Yeah. Into the se. Crazy. We know that.

[Joey]

I mean, I wonder if women even know the answer to this. I think it's an interesting question.

[Frank]

I would think that they would know better than us.

[Joey]

Sure. But, like, if you ask me a question, a biological question about a penis, I'd be like, I.

[Frank]

Well, because I think maybe is there a mostly uniform answer for women's vagina? Because men, I'm sure there's, like, men's pee pees. Men's pee pees are. Yeah, they're different. There's difference. Okay. Yeah. Some minor differences. Some major differences. Right. For some of us.

[Joey]

Right. Some of us Some of us.

[Frank]

Don't. Don't. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Joey]

I'm itchy.

[Frank]

Yeah. All right. I'm sure. But, like, is it like a.

[Joey]

So there's like an answer of like a roundabout.

[Padre Frank]

It's an average.

[Frank]

It's an average.

[Joey]

I'm gonna say.

[Frank]

I'm gonna say eight.

[Joey]

I'm gonna say 11.

[Frank]

Whoa, dude, that. That's a half a foot. You're in belly button territory now.

[Joey]

Oh, I was talking about inches.

[Frank]

Oh, I'm saying. I actually was talking. That's a foot. That's about a foot. You're in belly button territory.

[Joey]

Wait, you were saying? What?

[Frank]

I was saying 8.

[Joey]

8 inches.

[Frank]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Joey]

What do we got?

[Padre Frank]

It's okay. Sexual arousal.

[Frank]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sexual arousal.

[Padre Frank]

Oh, so it can expand a little bit, but it reaches depths of about 4.7 inches.

[Joey]

No, it doesn't.

[Frank]

Sexual arousal. This thing is just like. Like pulling like a. It's like. It's like.

[Joey]

You okay there, buddy?

[Frank]

Wait, that's like a rabbit in a. In a hat. In a magician's hat. And like, talking about, like, in.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's not true.

[Padre Frank]

Death.

[Joey]

That's what it says.

[Padre Frank]

Certain people are different. It could pretty much max go up to seven, but that's rare.

[Frank]

That can't be true. I. I am opting to believe it.

[Joey]

Because that's why I don't think that's true.

[Frank]

I mean, then how, bro?

[Joey]

I mean, let's just like.

[Frank]

Seriously, like, how, bro?

[Joey]

How.

[Frank]

How does, like, you know, with. With, like, maybe.

[Joey]

Maybe it's kind of like one of those avenues that, like, turns into a different avenue. Like, random.

[Frank]

Yeah, like, at the end of, like, I95, it becomes like, Route 386.

[Joey]

Exactly. Like, maybe that's like. Oh, that's. That's.

[Frank]

That's. Yeah, maybe after a while, it's no longer the vagina. And now it's like, now we're. Now we're in different territory.

[Joey]

I'm talking about full death, dude. To be clear here, right? We've all seen a bit of porn in our lives. Those dudes don't have 4 inch penises. And their penises are all the way in there.

[Padre Frank]

They're in there.

[Joey]

That's what I'm saying. So it can't be.

[Frank]

For. I just. At what point does it become like. Like, you're just, like, digging. You're making a new hole in there. Like, you're.

[Joey]

I don't think that's poss.

[Frank]

Well, like, I imagine, like, if it's a finite amount of space and stuff. Gotta go in places. What happens?

[Joey]

It's really just a miracle organ kind of.

[Frank]

Here's the thing.

[Joey]

Just like it could. It could. It could just do it all. It could just do it all.

[Frank]

I mean, it is. It is someone that is.

[Joey]

I'm not trying to. To blow smoke up anybody right now and anyone's vagina. I'm not trying to blow smoke up of the. Your vagina. What an amazing thing. What an amazing thing.

[Frank]

Really, really cool. Cool.

[Joey]

Forget Frank. We. We are beyond cool.

[Frank]

I mean, really sick.

[Joey]

We're. I mean, really sick.

[Frank]

I mean, like, what are we talk like, bro, that's the closest thing that we have to magic. It's a portal. It is a port. It is a life creating portal. Like you only see what, like video games, dude. Bro, how.

[Joey]

See, now I have this at least once a year where I'm like, how are we doing that? How's that happening? How are they doing that, bro?

[Frank]

And it you up. Once you experience your partner having children.

[Joey]

It'S like that came out.

[Frank]

It's like, yo, you were there and like you were nothing. And then she made you something with this.

[Joey]

And then you grow tall and then.

[Frank]

You grow this and these and these.

[Joey]

And he looks like this.

[Frank]

You and this and one of these. Sometimes, you know, obviously.

[Joey]

And I always. And I always think about how like a baby is born and it's got that stuff.

[Frank]

It's already got it all. It doesn't have it all. I mean, but it's in there. It's in there to get it all.

[Joey]

If I just got to earth. Got to the earth and then you put a naked woman in front of me and be like, a baby comes out of there. Where does it come from? That's like bottom three places.

[Frank]

I'm gonna guess that's number one place.

[Joey]

Well, if you didn't know anything about.

[Frank]

Like bird, if it was bottom three.

[Joey]

Places their toes immediately, I would say mouth. I don't know.

[Frank]

Sure. Yeah. You know, it is crazy. Like, right? Like every person you know was grown in another person. What the hell was.

[Joey]

Hmm? What do you think?

[Frank]

Yeah, what do you know? Fucking Mr. Bio.

[Padre Frank]

Ones that don't need.

[Frank]

To be made in a person aren't there. What?

[Joey]

What the hell does.

[Frank]

What the hell are you saying? Are you a. Oh, I hear what he's saying.

[Joey]

Are you talking about like C sections or something?

[Padre Frank]

No, no, no. Like a lab one. Aren't there?

[Frank]

He's talking about there are no lab humans. If there are, there's One. And it's Elon Musk. I don't know about anyone else, though.

[Joey]

He does look like he spends a lot of time in water.

[Frank]

I will say his chest is way too puffed up.

[Joey]

Yeah. Why is he built like that?

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joey]

Like, what's the. The whale and spongebob Pearl?

[Frank]

Oh, no. He's built like Larry the Lobster. Yes, that's who he's built like.

[Joey]

That works, too.

[Frank]

I mean, minus the muscle. I don't know. Don't hit us, Elon.

[Padre Frank]

Minus the color and the color. He's very white.

[Frank]

He is quite white.

[Joey]

Quite white.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

It's crazy.

[Frank]

Women, Women and like that. That whole process is legit magic, dude. It's magic, and I refuse to see it as anything else. We just call it science because we don't want to call it magic because it'll freak out people. It's magic. Also, like, what does Thor say? From your world, it's called magic. From mine, it's called science. That was my Chris Hemsworth Thor impression. That wasn't bad, right? That was Thor 1, I believe it came out 2000. I want to say 11. No, that was First Avenger.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

2010. It might have been.

[Joey]

Spend time working this out because he.

[Frank]

Was talking with Natalie Portman's character, Dr. Jane Foster.

[Joey]

I was kidding. The last minute I haven't cared about.

[Frank]

Directed by Kenneth Branagh. Just want to throw that out there. Esteemed thespian dude. Awarded thespian Kenneth Branagh, who I think holds the record for playing Hamlet the most. You know, Kenneth Branagh.

[Joey]

Let's take. Let's take a poll of the room about who cares. Hands up. If you give us.

[Frank]

You know why you care about Kenneth Branagh. Because he played that horny guy in the wheelchair. And Wild Wild West. That's two weeks of Wild Wild west mentioned.

[Joey]

First of all, I don't even remember there being a horny guy in a wheelchair.

[Frank]

The wheelchair that turns into the spider with the swirly twirly mustache where he's like. Oh. And he punches him. He's like. And he spins around.

[Joey]

Do your impression of a guy in a wheelchair.

[Frank]

Again, I'm not doing an impression. I'm doing an impression of Kenneth Branagh in Wild Wild west, who just so happened to be in a wheelchair that also became a spider.

[Padre Frank]

Oh, your brain could do so many things.

[Joey]

It really can. Not more things than the vagina, though. Because that's right. Is amazing. And it's definitely deeper than 4 inches.

[Frank]

Let's get that out of the way. And I. This is. He's trying to convince himself that he said 12. I know. Yeah. 12, bro. You'd be in there. There'd be room for a furniture in there.

[Joey]

I'm not saying that, like, it's just 12 all the time. But.

[Frank]

Yeah, you said. You said during sexual arousal, like, they're like. What is that? Like, they open up like the mouth of a predator.

[Padre Frank]

Like foreplay. You open up a little bit, right?

[Joey]

Yeah. But don't make hand gestures.

[Frank]

Just like, during foreplay. You're, like, opening it up.

[Padre Frank]

I didn't do any.

[Frank]

He's like, you know, during. During foreplay, you know, you open up.

[Padre Frank]

Slander.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Like, you could, like, definitely find ways to open it. It's crazy. Now I'm confused. That look like you opened pants and then put something in the pants.

[Frank]

You want to know? In my head, I put GR in there. Don't ask why.

[Joey]

In where?

[Frank]

The pants.

[Joey]

You put grapes in the pants?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I. I'll say this. This is weird, but now I'm really thinking about it. If I had tight underwear on. You filled them with grapes. I feel like that would be a nice.

[Frank]

You'd be pumped. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I don't absolutely want to.

[Joey]

Put grapes in your pants.

[Frank]

Do, like, roll around in grapes. Like all those people that stomp grapes and they're like, I can't get them all, dude. How. You're a human. Use your feet to fuck up these grapes.

[Joey]

You just said all those people. I have never heard anyone say that. What are you consuming?

[Frank]

I've seen videos of people stomping grapes.

[Joey]

And they're all like, I can't get all the grapes.

[Frank]

Yeah. Because there's a lot of grapes, bro. Put me in a vat of grapes. I'm going through that vat in two minutes tops.

[Joey]

You're just going to stomp around?

[Frank]

Hell, yeah. You're going to tell me you wouldn't stop grapes with me?

[Joey]

Hell, yeah.

[Frank]

There's got to be a vineyard somewhere in the metropolitan area, whether it be Long Island, Jersey, I think I told.

[Joey]

You, but it went. In Portugal, they have a wine that is only stepped on by women.

[Frank]

There's. There's a lot.

[Joey]

Says it on the menu. Women stepped only.

[Frank]

There is a lot of tea, specifically white tea, that, like, the tradition is that it's only picked by, like, virgin Chinese women. Don't. I'm not saying I agree with.

[Joey]

Have a cup of tea without all this.

[Frank]

Without sex being involved.

[Joey]

You are like, we can't have A glass of wine without being like feet. Come on.

[Frank]

Well, I mean, you. You've had wines that you have described as farty. So like, there.

[Joey]

First of all, the waitress said that.

[Frank]

What if I got it? Big business Frank is back.

[Joey]

I already know you're about to.

[Frank]

Big business Frank is back. A vineyard and all of the wine has been crushed by vaginas. You okay? Yeah.

[Joey]

How does one crush a grape with their vagina?

[Frank]

So, like, they'll put it in underwear and then like run against a wall or something.

[Joey]

You're gonna sell this to the method.

[Frank]

In which it is being done? I might not have down packed, but the idea, bro, people are making beers with their. This is crazy, by the way that I'm saying this. Trust.

[Joey]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Frank]

They're making beers that are like, made with like the yeast. Like vaginal yeast and shit like that.

[Joey]

Yeah. Are they?

[Frank]

Yeah. There was a streamer that did that a couple years ago. Such defeat, knowing he has to look up vagina wine. Vagina beer. Yeah, I think. And it doesn't necessarily need to be like vagina crushing, but like, if it's like, you're gonna tell me, bro, it's gonna happen because we have other stuff that we wanted to talk about. This episode where, like, this is most likely gonna happen where it's like this wine, all the grapes were crushed under the weight of Jennifer Aniston sitting on them. You think that's not gonna happen?

[Joey]

Sure. I mean, I don't think specifically.

[Frank]

Maybe not specifically Jennifer Aniston. She does well for herself. She probably doesn't need that.

[Joey]

I think that it might be harder to crush grapes efficiently in that way, but when you can get sitting on them, but like just getting a bunch of women to like, stomp the grapes like you normally would. They have stomping parties, do they? At this. No, at this vineyard. That's what they said. They like the girls giving us the tour was like. They have. They have like parties. So it's like at midnight, like after everything, and they just like drink wine. They stomp the grapes. I'm like, that sounds fire.

[Frank]

What do they have to do when they have to pee?

[Joey]

Go to the bathroom.

[Frank]

Yeah, but like, how do they get out and then get back in? They're covered in grape juice.

[Joey]

Their feet are.

[Frank]

Yeah. So what, do they get out and walk to the bathroom and then come back? I imagine there's something like foot prep.

[Joey]

Ho hoes off.

[Frank]

But like, if it's a very sought after grape, then you're losing that grape juice.

[Joey]

Maybe they can hold it I don't know how long. That's such a weird question even ask. I don't think they're peeing into the grapes, if that's your concern.

[Frank]

I. You might have just opened up a new business because you know that there are people that are gonna be pumped about that.

[Joey]

These are grapes that were stopped by women and then men pissed in them, so.

[Frank]

Well, don't know about that. But you know what I do know.

[Joey]

About, but do you know about.

[Frank]

Basement Yard Boys are back on tour, baby. We're back.

[Joey]

The basement yard is. Well, we're not back yet.

[Frank]

Well, we're close. We're on the close.

[Joey]

We're on the close.

[Frank]

We're on the close. We're going back. We're opening up in Kansas City and St. Louis. Over in Missouri.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Or how they say it differently out there.

[Joey]

Missouri. That's what my.

[Frank]

Let me guess. Your dad said that. Your dad just.

[Joey]

No, not my dad. My, like. So my history teacher from, like, seventh grade used to say, missouri. And Victoria and Winder Soder.

[Frank]

Are you better off for having known that now, Aunt, you don't get to do that.

[Joey]

You just said that whole thing. I don't even remember.

[Frank]

I got to do it. What did I say about.

[Joey]

No idea. That's how pointless it was.

[Frank]

Well, you were talking about Wild West. Wild, Wild West. Good movie, right? It's really not that good.

[Padre Frank]

He was making fun of people in a wheelchair.

[Joey]

He did.

[Frank]

I did. No, don't do that. I didn't make fun of anyone in wheelchairs. No, I didn't. I'm just making sure. No, no, no. But yeah, we're back.

[Joey]

We're back.

[Frank]

We're back at it. For those of you guys that have not seen. Go check it out. You can get tickets to the shows. There are some shows that still have tickets available. Go to the basement dot com. We're very excited, you know, going to cities that we didn't do last year, returning to some cities that. That we did do last year. And then a lot of people have been asking about the New York show.

[Joey]

Deets are coming. Deets are coming.

[Frank]

We're cooking. Okay. We're. We're.

[Joey]

We're.

[Frank]

We're ordering the groceries. You get what I'm saying?

[Joey]

More stuff that you're creating. I could tell.

[Frank]

So go check it out. And then if you are coming to any of those shows, go to the Basement yard dot com. Submit a portion of the shows. We like them to be interactive. We like to talk to you about you, with you or people that you know like, it's fun. What?

[Joey]

Say that every time we like to talk with you about you, at you or whatever you say.

[Frank]

Well, it's true. Because some people. Some people also don't like that. Some people are like, I want to tell the story, but keep me anonymous. We won't ask for. And you could be kept anonymous.

[Joey]

Do you say talk at you or do I make that up with you?

[Frank]

No, I said with you about you and to.

[Joey]

You think at was in there?

[Frank]

I don't think so. I think you just threw at in there. Now you're trying to gaslight me.

[Joey]

I could have. I don't know. But I don't know about the gas lighting.

[Frank]

Do you think that's overused in today's society?

[Joey]

Gaslighting. I never really use it. I'm back on manipulate. Oh, you're back on that.

[Frank]

You've given up on gaslight and you're.

[Joey]

Yeah, I'm just like. I'm not gonna use that. I only use it in like a joking way.

[Frank]

Gotcha.

[Joey]

Well, let's. I only say it to you. But like, I'll just say I'd rather say manipulate.

[Frank]

Never say that to me.

[Joey]

Roll the tape. I'm sure there's a fucking.

[Frank]

The joke is that I just did it. That's the joke. That's the joke and you did it. Remember. Remember I told you about how deep our comedy goes?

[Joey]

That's. That's seven inches deeper than four inches or whatever the fuck would you say? A max. Seven.

[Frank]

Fuck out of here.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

But. Yeah. So go check it out. The basement yard dot com. Submit We're. I'm excited.

[Joey]

Yeah. And we're going to Missouri. Never been there.

[Frank]

Never been in Missouri. No.

[Joey]

Decided to go there.

[Frank]

I have heard. I've heard things. I. I can't. I don't know. But I'm excited. I'm excited. Apparently the barbecue.

[Joey]

Gonna have to do.

[Frank]

We're gonna have to.

[Joey]

Gonna have to do the barbecue.

[Frank]

If there is. If a city is known for barbecue. Daddy's. Daddy's upping up that cholesterol score. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Frank's gonna chew on a bone. That was crazy. That's not.

[Frank]

You could have said it any other way.

[Joey]

I don't even know what I meant to say.

[Frank]

Frank's gonna take your meat. Also a bad way to say, you.

[Joey]

Know, that was worse than what I said. Honestly, I did chew on a bone is way better than take your meat.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. There are worse ways to have said it, but oddly Enough.

[Joey]

We're going, we're going.

[Frank]

We are going to San Diego. That's our second trip. The boys, we're getting called up.

[Joey]

We're getting called up from a 14 year old league was the last time we played baseball.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also last year we had our, we. Our stint in the minors.

[Joey]

Oh, we had a stint in the minors.

[Frank]

Threw a first pitch for the Bowie Bay Sox.

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

Thank you.

[Joey]

And those pitches went so well that there were scouts there and we didn't.

[Frank]

Know that there were scouts. We clearly forgot.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

How many scouts were there?

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

And then we got the call up to the, to the, to the show this year, as they say.

[Joey]

Exactly. And now the San Diego Padre, Padres reached out to us and they were like, you guys want to throw out the first pitch? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, dude. And I'm going to burn this one.

[Frank]

In there so I can confirm that I have at least been doing stretches. I need to have a better showing last year. This is, this is the majors now. We don't know who could be watching. We, we do know, but like, we don't know. Like, there are some players that might be there and just be like, yo, like these guys, like legit. Give him an at bat.

[Joey]

I'm trying to. Well, we're going to be throwing a pitch.

[Frank]

I know, but like, maybe they'll see us and be like, if you could throw so well, maybe you could also hit real well. That's what they're gonna, that's what they're gonna think.

[Joey]

I think I'm hoping for that like rookie of the year moment where I just throw a burner and they go, whoa, let's give this guy like.

[Frank]

And you want to get. Wait, so just to be clear.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You want to leave your current position. Yeah. To become a Major League baseball pitcher.

[Joey]

Closer, Frank.

[Frank]

Oh, gotcha.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So you want to. Making significantly harder than what it currently is.

[Joey]

I don't want to be the closer. I want to be a closer. You know, closer.

[Frank]

Eyes are pie. Closer is you could be a setup man, you could be a middle reliever, long reliever. Yeah.

[Joey]

But like, I'll mostly just eat seeds, you know, so you know what?

[Frank]

I want to hang in the dugout with the other guys and just munch seeds.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And just, you know, people. You know how there's people around there.

[Joey]

Spit all over the field. You know what I mean?

[Frank]

Spitting seeds in nature, if it's not littering is sick in nature is hilarious.

[Joey]

But yeah, the Padres are really hooking it up. And we've never thrown out a first at a Major League baseball game before, and this is, like, insane.

[Frank]

Yeah. Super huge honor. We. We are really, really excited.

[Joey]

So shout out to the Padres, and if you're in the area, come through.

[Frank]

Come to the game, dude.

[Joey]

Come to the game. I don't know where we're gonna be sitting, but I will say this.

[Frank]

It has.

[Joey]

You have our permission to buy Frank hot dogs.

[Frank]

Hold on. Do they. They have our permission for that? I'm just. First of all, it's straw hat night.

[Joey]

Psyched about that.

[Frank]

So pumped. Dude. I'm not even kidding.

[Joey]

I get a straw hat, I'm gonna scream.

[Frank]

Chances are we're getting a straw hat should. But, yeah, it was when we did it with the base ox. They were like, that was so fun. So we are so excited for this. Like, it's just. It's. It's insane. Like, you grow up watching. We grew up massive baseball fans. And, like, ESPN always covers, like, oh, look at this first pitch.

[Joey]

Okay. We have an opportunity.

[Frank]

We do. We do.

[Joey]

I think, like, right now, I want to burn one in there, I think.

[Frank]

But, but, but, but, but. But we. We could do something cooler than that.

[Joey]

We could throw a horrible pitch, and that'll be on espn.

[Frank]

We could also, like, do something like, Simone Biles will go out there and do a flip and then throw a pitch.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

We could go out there.

[Joey]

I'll get on your shoulders.

[Frank]

What if we pitch this to the Padres? What if we had them set up a desk with two mics and we throw the first pitch, like, from this angle?

[Joey]

Two on the nose.

[Frank]

Two on the nose.

[Joey]

What if I get on your shoulders? Right. And then they get a catcher, and then the other catcher gets on his.

[Frank]

Shoulders and we throw at the same time. Yeah, to the other. To each of the catchers.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

That's not a bad idea.

[Joey]

That's a horrible idea. But I kind of like it.

[Frank]

Yeah, no, no, I. Let's. Just to be clear, I'm not confident I can hold you on my shoulders.

[Joey]

Do you think they do any, like, flyovers that we, like, jump out of a plane and, like, land on third base or something?

[Frank]

That's good. Question one that I thought about quite a bit. I think the answer is yes. Oh.

[Joey]

Or maybe they have an eagle that flies around.

[Frank]

Let's be very clear about something. The food is going to get demolished.

[Joey]

Oh, God, the food.

[Frank]

I looked it up, too. There is some. We're gonna eat. Well, I haven't been.

[Joey]

I just went to a baseball Game. The. I haven't gone to like that many in my life. I mean, I have, but, like, I guess I haven't indulged in this part of the baseball experience in a while, bro. The desserts at baseball games, they know, they are stepping it up.

[Frank]

They know what they're doing.

[Joey]

I don't know what they're with their. With their. You know, who they're hiring for this type of thing.

[Frank]

But I mean, may. You know, a lot of. I mean, we did a whole Patreon episode about baseball stadium food.

[Joey]

I know I've never seen any of that in the.

[Frank]

In the wild, in the real life, in the flesh.

[Joey]

In the flesh.

[Frank]

This. It's become like a mat. Like now it's like a big thing. Before it was just like, you have a guy walking around screaming at you with hot dogs wrapped in foil that are probably mush at this point. Yeah. You eat now, you could get like a fucking wagyu cheeseburger.

[Joey]

Right? I usually. You go to a game, you get Cracker Jacks. You get, you know, cotton candy, soda, hot dog. You go home and you have diarrhea. But, like, now they have like, really good stuff.

[Frank]

Now you go, you get like three hot dogs.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And yeah, some of us still get.

[Joey]

Diarrhea, but that could be because of the amount of hot dogs.

[Frank]

Careful. Absolutely. Be careful. I don't like the way I'm just. I. I think we. And I could speak on both of our behalf here. We took. We were. We had a lot of fun with the Maryland game, with the Bowie Bay Sox game. Okay. We need to take this serious. This is a huge step. This could be SportsCenter Den and Den. And you know what I'm saying? Like in the. Not top 10 plays of the day or the top 10 plays of the day.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

It could be such a boring day across sports.

[Joey]

Should I throw a knuckler?

[Frank]

I don't think anyone calls it that. I think we have a real cool opportunity here and we need to hit this out of the park.

[Joey]

What pitch are you gonna throw?

[Frank]

The only one I can.

[Joey]

Four seam?

[Frank]

Yeah. What do you think I'm throwing it? You think I. Bro, if you think I could throw anything other than a four seam, throw a cutter. I'm just gonna Google it. I think you could throw a cutter.

[Joey]

It's probably not that hard to throw a cutter.

[Frank]

I threw a cutter once in my entire life.

[Joey]

A good cutter is probably hard.

[Frank]

It's the only pitch I've ever thrown with movement, and boss taught me how to throw it. Oddly enough, I've thrown a lot of.

[Joey]

Pitches with movement, but the movement is usually when the batter hits the ball.

[Frank]

And it moves them all. Yeah, you know what? You're right.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Most pitches I've thrown that have movement, the movement is from my hand into the ground.

[Joey]

The movement is me to the dugout because I've been pulled by the coach.

[Frank]

Yeah. I was put in to pitch one game in my entire time playing baseball as a kid.

[Joey]

Really?

[Frank]

Yeah. It was when I played for the Elm Jack White Sox in Pony.

[Joey]

There you go.

[Frank]

I did so happen to have a custom White Sox jersey, which was the ultimate try hard thing to wear to my games.

[Joey]

Checks.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Was this a start or were you, like, in the mid.

[Frank]

No start.

[Joey]

Oh, you started this game. So you got how far through this? How many outs?

[Frank]

Four batters. Four batters.

[Joey]

They all hit home runs. Go ahead.

[Frank]

I walked every single one of them. I walked every single one.

[Joey]

That's it.

[Frank]

And guess how many pitches I threw in total.

[Joey]

Say 16.

[Frank]

It was 16.

[Joey]

So four straight walks.

[Frank]

Literally after the third walk for the last. For the last batter, my coach came out and he was just like. Just like, you're playing toss. So I just started throwing like I was playing toss, and I still walked them. It wasn't good.

[Joey]

Their coach is probably like, nobody swing.

[Frank]

I mean. Yeah, why would you swing? Yeah, why would you swing? I. I don't think we won that game, but we had a fun time doing it.

[Joey]

Maybe you did.

[Frank]

No. No, I didn't.

[Joey]

Sure. Your teammates.

[Frank]

I was very upset.

[Joey]

You know, I've never had a home run in my life.

[Frank]

Pathetic.

[Joey]

It doesn't matter, though, because I'm throwing out a first pitch and I'm burning that fish.

[Frank]

Yeah. Hey, to the. Our friends over at the San Diego.

[Joey]

Padres, and they have sick jerseys. Yeah.

[Frank]

They sent us these jerseys, which. You know me. This is my third Padres jersey.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And my second Padres hat. Second. But we really appreciate it. We're really excited to be out there. Guys, if you're coming, it's the game on July 9, I believe it's the game against the Diamondbacks. Come out. See us go to a baseball game.

[Joey]

We're Padres fans.

[Frank]

Have a hot dog. We're excited. We hope you're excited. Thank you to our friends at the Padres. And we'll. We'll see in. In San Diego.

[Joey]

San Diego. We do have some sponsors to get. We have some sponsors to get to. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay. So Better Help is online therapy for those of you who don't know, you know, if you want to get into therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp because it is an awesome way to be introduced to the world of therapy. I think that everyone should be in it. I've been in for years and think that is very helpful no matter what. Even if you feel like therapy might be this thing where you have to have a traumatic story or you're worried about, you know, being judged or you don't even know where to start with therapy, start with BetterHelp. You know, get your first session under your belt. And I, you know, I'm pretty sure that you guys will enjoy it. So go check it out. Also, one of the biggest things about it that I think is awesome is that it's more affordable than in person therapy. I think the price kind of scares people away and be like, it's very expensive in order to have a therapist. So better help is a fraction of the price and we're going to save you some money anyway. On top of that, our listeners will get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com basemanyard that is B E T T e R H e L p. You'll get 10% off of that first month. Okay? So if you, you know, are struggling or something like that, or you think you just need help, you know, with clarity or whatnot, definitely get into BetterHelp. BetterHelp.combaseMyard Go enjoy that first month for free. Oh, sorry for 10 off, but we also have Fitbod. Okay. Fitbot is going to get that butt in shape, okay? It creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, your experience, and your available equipment, which is great because, you know, a lot of people who don't really know too much about fitness, they'll go online, try to find an answer for that, and think like, okay, this is a program that this person uses, so it'll be good for me. But it really depends on your goals and your experience and what your diet is like and all those things. So FitBot is going to create a workout plan for your goals. So if you want to lose weight, you want to lean out, you want to put on mass, whatever it is, they'll create a plan for you based on those things. And the workouts will adapt to your growth. So each workout is challenging enough to push you, you know, to make gains. It's like the optimal way to approach fitness. So, yeah, regardless of your experience level, it doesn't matter. Or your available equipment. If you don't have access to a gym, you could still create a workout plan with them. They have over a thousand demonstration videos, so that's very helpful in learning about fitness and certain movements and whatnot. So you can get 25% off of your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at Fitbod Me Basement. All right, so that is Fitbod Me Basement. And you can get 25% off your subscription, or you can try the app for free for seven days. Give it a shot. Summer's here. Now's the time to do it. It's never too late to get into shape. So there you go. Fitbot Me Basement. Enjoy.

[Frank]

Listen, whatever journey you're taking, whether it be your mental health journey or your personal wellness, you know, physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically fit journey. Allow the basement yard boys to be along that journey with you. Okay? And where's the best way to do that? Patreon.com the Basement Yard. Folks, I tell you guys about this every single week when we talk. And it's honestly a nice little talk. It's a comforting talk. It's a talk, you know, that you're always going to get. We're there for each other all the time. Does it make you happy? It makes me happy. So go to the basementyard.com for whatever you want, but also go to patreon.com the basement yard. To sign up for the Patreon. You sign up for that first. Here, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then for that second tier, you get these episodes exclusively every single Friday, exclusive Patreon episodes. And guess what? If you join today, tomorrow you get every episode that has previously been on there. So anything that we have ever uploaded on Patreon that's exclusive to that platform, it'll be yours for the viewing, okay? Hundreds of hours of content just for you.

[Joey]

All right?

[Frank]

So go to patreon.com the basement yard. And if while you're doing that and supporting us, which thank you, by the way, you want to save yourself a couple bucks, make sure you go do that on a web browser, okay? Whether that be on your phone or on a desktop, you go to the web browser. Whether you use, you know, Safari. Yeah, Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Firefox.

[Joey]

I don't know what's other ones.

[Frank]

Internet Explorer. Whoa.

[Joey]

What year is it?

[Frank]

Netscape, Frank. American Online.

[Joey]

Is that a thing?

[Frank]

Do yourself the favor. Save yourself a couple money. Go on the desktop version, literally type patreon.com not desktop. You know what I mean?

[Joey]

Save yourself a couple money.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's the fuck up not the other fuck up. Save yourself a couple bucks is what I meant to say. Go on the Web browser version, patreon.com the basementyard. If you use the Patreon app, Apple takes a little bit extra from you. So go check it out. Thank you to all the people that have helped us get to where we are. Over 34, 000 paid patrons. It means the world to us. And also, like I said at the top of the show, we're doing those shows, the live shows this year. So there are some tickets that still are available in some cities. So go check them out. The basementyard.com and if you're coming to any of those shows already, gear up. We're getting ready. It's going to be a good time. The basementyard.com submit all right, we'll see you folks out there. It's gonna be a big old party. Yeah.

[Joey]

I mean, we should probably talk about the fact that Sydney Sweeney is selling her bath water via soap.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Which I Can I say this, genius. A lot of people talk this on the Internet being like, oh, I would love to buy your bath water. Pony up. Where's the bread now?

[Frank]

Well, hold up. Here's the thing is I could see both sides of the argument. I. Where I. What I truly believe is like, you know what, girl? Fucking good for you. Exploit these fucking losers that are gonna buy this shit.

[Joey]

Whoa, with the losers. Now we're judging.

[Frank]

Joey, I. Hold on, hold on. First of all, it released and sold out already.

[Joey]

Duh.

[Frank]

It was like a thousand bars.

[Padre Frank]

I got two bars on the way.

[Joey]

Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God, dude.

[Frank]

See what I mean by losers?

[Joey]

That would have been awesome, though.

[Padre Frank]

I tried. I tried.

[Frank]

Did you really try? Just for the story, right?

[Padre Frank]

Well, yeah, I tried.

[Frank]

If you're not like. Because, see, then you're the outlier. Most of the people that are buying this are losers.

[Padre Frank]

Wow.

[Frank]

Sorry. I said most. So if it's you that bought this, maybe I'm not talking about you. Not you, the other people.

[Joey]

What a great way to say, but.

[Frank]

Like, they're not buying it for soap. They're buying it for being horny.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Padre Frank]

If I did get it and brought it in, you'd smell it.

[Joey]

Duh.

[Frank]

I mean, yeah.

[Joey]

So I'm also convinced, like, do we. Did she really get in the bath?

[Frank]

So apparently she took a bath and then like, they just use the water in the soap mixture.

[Padre Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

That's hilarious.

[Frank]

I honestly, like, I said, this is a great idea. Good for her for fucking, like, good for them. Here's the thing. I'm gonna get on my soapbox for a sec. Okay, you ready? These fucking companies are sexualizing her and profiting off of her sexuality anyways, so she's able to strike a deal where she could fucking profit off of that shit.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Good for her.

[Joey]

That's what I'm saying. Like, if you're gonna talk all that shit on the Internet, like, oh, I'd buy your bath water. Let's see.

[Frank]

Bro, be honest for a second.

[Joey]

Get that soap out.

[Frank]

The people that bought this.

[Joey]

Yeah. What?

[Frank]

Losers, right?

[Joey]

I don't know. Like, good for her, but, like, I don't know. I don't know these people. Would I buy someone's bath?

[Frank]

I know. For comedy, though. For comedy, though? Are they losers?

[Joey]

You know?

[Frank]

Say, all right. Joey's taking the.

[Joey]

You know. Oh, Joey's taking it. The king. Oh, I don't know if we could talk about that. Oh, now all of a sudden.

[Frank]

Forgive me for calling these people losers.

[Joey]

Let me ask you. Let me ask you this.

[Frank]

Because they're not doing it to get soap. They're doing it because they're just like. This is their way of being, like, sexually connected to Sydney Sweeney.

[Joey]

How many.

[Frank]

That's weird.

[Joey]

How many bars?

[Frank]

I think they only made, like, a thousand bars.

[Joey]

A thousand bars. And.

[Frank]

He'S pretending like he doesn't know exactly.

[Joey]

How many of those people do you think bought it as, like, a joke?

[Frank]

150 people.

[Joey]

I think there's definitely people out there. Like, I need this thing and I need to chew on it.

[Frank]

I can imagine.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

I don't know. Listen, I don't think there's anyone on the planet. I. Becca is so hot to me, but if she was like, here's a cup of my bath water, I'd be like.

[Joey]

Like, what am I supposed to do?

[Frank]

Drink this.

[Padre Frank]

A cup's a lot.

[Frank]

That's weird.

[Padre Frank]

A cup's a lot.

[Frank]

A shot.

[Padre Frank]

That's better.

[Joey]

Definitely better than a cup. Yeah.

[Frank]

There was a streamer that did.

[Joey]

How much money to drink a shot of my bath water?

[Frank]

Not enough.

[Joey]

What's not enough? I haven't even said no.

[Frank]

I want to drink more. No, that is not enough, Honestly.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank]

Who's paying you or, like, the people?

[Joey]

What does that mean?

[Frank]

Because I'll probably lowball them, but I want more money from you.

[Joey]

I don't even know how to interpret that.

[Frank]

No, like, if.

[Joey]

If. Let's just. Yeah, there's like, a cash amount that will appear.

[Frank]

Hundred thousand dollars.

[Joey]

All right, but let's be. Let's be Realistic about something.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

It is a shot.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

And you wouldn't take it if there was $50,000 cash.

[Frank]

Very clear.

[Joey]

$50,000 cash. Let me be something very clear, like.

[Frank]

A window pane or a windshield. Let me be abundantly clear here.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The Internet thinks that we are gaga for each other's balls right now. You did that? Me?

[Joey]

Yes.

[Frank]

No, I did not.

[Joey]

Frankie.

[Frank]

Joey France. How have I done this? Because you.

[Joey]

You do this thing where you, like, you over there and you like. You do this and then you say stuff.

[Frank]

I. I mean, that's a. That's a. That's a playing up a character. Like, I'm not, like, actually there. I have no sexual feelings toward you.

[Joey]

That doesn't help.

[Frank]

I know it doesn't help, but. But if I.

[Joey]

We won't do it on the show. But $50,000 cash for a shot. Would do yours.

[Frank]

You'll do mine for 50 GS. For 50 GS? No, I'm not doing under 75, bro.

[Joey]

I would do it.

[Frank]

Probably not doing under 75.

[Joey]

I would do it for less than 50.

[Padre Frank]

10.

[Frank]

You're doing 10, brother.

[Padre Frank]

I'll do it for 10.

[Joey]

He would easily do it for 10.

[Frank]

Yeah. They're drinking like chimpanzees shot.

[Joey]

He was like, I'll do it.

[Frank]

Yeah. I. I don't. I can't. I can't because I wouldn't be able to. I would throw up and it would.

[Joey]

Probably just taste like water.

[Frank]

Yeah. No.

[Joey]

Why not?

[Frank]

Bath water. Now what are we talking? How long is the soakage? Because that's a legitimate question here. Like, is it just like, I get in, I get out, or am I like.

[Joey]

No, you gotta steep.

[Frank]

You gotta steep like tea.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

What's the steeping time?

[Joey]

A bath? Like, you gotta.

[Frank]

Bro, you've taken a bath and you've. With no soap or anything, and you've stood up. That water is cloudy, my man.

[Joey]

Wait, what if I've gotten in a.

[Frank]

Bath and you've sat in there for 40 minutes? That water's not coming out clear.

[Joey]

40 minutes. That's a long.

[Frank]

I've taken long baths. Yeah.

[Joey]

I don't know If I've done 40 minutes.

[Frank]

I've taken some fun, like long bats. I don't know why fun was in there.

[Joey]

I've taken some fun baths with toys.

[Frank]

I've taken some fun baths, but it's. The water's coming out cloud.

[Joey]

I'll say 20 minutes. But you have to figure some of that tastes like a soap or something.

[Frank]

No, I just said no.

[Joey]

So I'll just get in and just. Yeah, dude, all right, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I would. Honestly, like, if someone had $15,000 in cash, I would do it.

[Frank]

That's bananas. I'm not doing it for anything under 75. Because that's so wild. Because, one, it's your money. I'll take it. I'll take it.

[Joey]

Right. I'll believe you want more of my money. But, like, strangers who you don't know, you don't want theirs. Like, you're gonna give them a deal.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, they're kind.

[Joey]

What am I.

[Frank]

No, no, obviously I'm joking. Not a penny under 60.

[Joey]

You see how I chopped 40% off of this price already? I feel like we could get them down.

[Frank]

No, no, no. I'm standing firm.

[Padre Frank]

It's someone you know, at least.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's worse.

[Joey]

Dude, it's not worse.

[Frank]

It's way worse.

[Joey]

I'm doing.

[Frank]

Because every time I see you, I'm gonna have to think, I. I tasted you. That's why it's miserable.

[Joey]

I mean, I'm not thinking about it like that. That's, like, a very weird. I wouldn't be like, yo, I tasted you.

[Frank]

That's the way it is, though.

[Joey]

So if I drank your bath water, you'd walk in here like, yo, you've tasted me, you little.

[Frank]

Like, no, I wouldn't throw it in your. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. But, like, for instance, if you were to have a cup of coffee from a company.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

If someone were to say, like, oh, this company. Oh, I've had their coffee. They, you know, like, yeah, I've had their food. I've been to there. You know, him.

[Joey]

But I don't think that's gonna come up in conversation. Like, oh, you know Frank. But, yeah, yeah, I've had his bath water.

[Frank]

It's not gonna come up, I think not a penny under 60.

[Padre Frank]

But even if someone asks, you'd be like, why'd you do that?

[Joey]

Oh, Yeah, I got 20 racks. Oh, all right.

[Frank]

Yeah, you went up to 20.

[Joey]

What was I at?

[Frank]

I think you said 15.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

Crazy. Would you do it for a hundred bucks?

[Joey]

No, no, no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't eat anything for $100.

[Frank]

You wouldn't need a steak for a hundred dollars.

[Joey]

Well, that I would eat for.

[Frank]

So there you go. What if that steak was sloppy with bath water?

[Joey]

Sloppy.

[Frank]

No, that's coming.

[Joey]

No, no. We're talking about, like, you know, thousands of dollars here, but I would much rather do do yours. Than a person who. I don't know.

[Frank]

I am shocked. You haven't at least thought about the idea of selling your bathwater.

[Joey]

That's shocking to you.

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean, you could. You. You'll do well for yourself.

[Joey]

You don't think you could sell some bath water over there?

[Frank]

Not nearly as much as you.

[Joey]

Regardless. Whether that's true or not, we don't know.

[Frank]

I think the reality of the situation, and I'm not like, baiting people to be like, no, let's drink Frank's bathwater. I think that you would probably just have a more marketable bathwater.

[Padre Frank]

It's all about pricing, baby.

[Frank]

Fair.

[Padre Frank]

It's all about price.

[Frank]

But if we price stars at the exact same amount. $50 for a pint.

[Joey]

Whoa, a pint?

[Frank]

Yeah, bro. You could take. You could take four bats a day and you could make.

[Joey]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Frank]

Sell that.

[Joey]

Take four baths a day. Yeah, I'd be all pruny.

[Frank]

That's fine. But you can market them as different stuff. So, like, this is like the morning batch, you know? Like, you know how, like, coffee roasters will be like, this is our, like, exclusive roast.

[Joey]

Someone's creating a marketing deck over there.

[Padre Frank]

You need the after workout batch.

[Joey]

Yeah, of course.

[Padre Frank]

Need that one.

[Frank]

You can do a morning. You can do a morning brew, you know?

[Joey]

Oh, God, that's just. Now when you say, like, that's disgusting.

[Frank]

You could do a post workout, you.

[Joey]

Know, recovery brew, bros workout shake. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Then you could do like a dinner and then like a late night. A dessert of the dessert one where you throw like a. Like a. You throw like, Epsom salt in there, Right? Although you probably shouldn't drink Epsom salt.

[Joey]

How much? Realistically? Like that a shot. I'm asking you now. $75,000 is insane. A shot of Frank's bath water for $8,000. Cash. Cash. Cash. Untraceable. Not on camera.

[Padre Frank]

Not on camera, no. Yeah, I'll do that.

[Joey]

What about on camera?

[Padre Frank]

I would want to come a little more.

[Joey]

Okay, a little more. Like 95.

[Padre Frank]

Come on. You can work with me. You could get to 10, so.

[Joey]

10? 10?

[Padre Frank]

Yeah, 10. 10 seems like good number. Even though I feel like he would hold it over you. So that's why I need a little more.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frank]

Yeah, that's true. I mean, no, if you. In confidence.

[Joey]

He wants it. He want. Yeah, he would use it. He was like, cut. People.

[Frank]

People with you.

[Joey]

No, you drank me.

[Frank]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I. I would if. If it happened off cameras. In confidence. No one would ever know about it. I. I would be a steel trap. Okay, but if I, if you did it on an episode. No, it's just us. He'd be like, yo, let's go drink my bath water. Oh, see, this is. This is not. This is. This is a little.

[Joey]

Why is he shaking his head? Yes and I'm saying it?

[Frank]

He doesn't know me.

[Joey]

What's. Whoa, dude.

[Padre Frank]

Well, don't look at me now. In a heated argument, Frankie would definitely go, why don't you just go drink my bath?

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Hundred percent.

[Frank]

No. I would not.

[Joey]

There's way more of a chance of you saying that than me.

[Frank]

When was the last time you argued with me? I am very.

[Joey]

That's our job.

[Frank]

We're doing it now in a serious setting.

[Padre Frank]

I'm not saying you would. I'm saying there's just more a chance.

[Frank]

Sure. One in a billion. One in a billion. Point one.

[Joey]

Whatever helps you sleep, baby.

[Frank]

I think it is.

[Joey]

He's gonna need an extra 2,000.

[Padre Frank]

Frankie. I'm just trying to get more.

[Frank]

What about this? And you know what? I support you. And you know what? Yeah, Yeah. I would bring it up.

[Padre Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

Because we're doing this apparently.

[Frank]

No, we're not doing this. All I wanted to say about this.

[Joey]

Was that Sydney Sweeney.

[Frank]

We're back on the Sydney Sweeney thing. Good for her.

[Joey]

How much was the soap?

[Frank]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think it was like $8 a bar or something like that.

[Joey]

Oh, it's a steal.

[Frank]

Good for her for getting the bag. Good for her. The people that are buying this. I, I, if I like, if you legitimately told me, like, I'm a huge fan of Sydney Sweeney and I bought it because there are people out there. That's what most of the people buying it are. It's. We don't know that though. You're right.

[Joey]

We're assuming you're right. I think a lot of people. I think you'd be like, like, I think it would be funny if we, like, if. That's why I was excited when you said you got two bars.

[Padre Frank]

I tried.

[Joey]

I was like, that would be funny to have.

[Padre Frank]

It was easier to get the switch.

[Joey]

Than the like, I'm not gonna get.

[Frank]

Cuz there was only a, like a thousand made of this.

[Joey]

So it's harder to get this soap. Like, I'm not saying I'm excited to get it, cuz I want to smell it and gnaw on it.

[Frank]

But I like. But I think if you were to ask me, based off of who she is in pop culture, she's known as like a.

[Joey]

A good looking sex icon.

[Frank]

Yes. I think it's a fair assumption to make that I will say 80% of the people that are buying these bars of soap are doing it with like sexual gratification in mind.

[Joey]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

Do you think that. You really think that's unfair?

[Joey]

I just think there's no way to tell.

[Frank]

Yes. Joey, I know you're taking like a legitimate approach. I'm. For the sake of.

[Joey]

I mean I. I think that like there's. There's an equal.

[Frank]

He's hahas for the sake of that.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why people would.

[Frank]

I just don't know. I mean, how do we measure something like this? Do we have the proper synergistic methods of measurement? Business guy over here, bro.

[Joey]

It's crazy. I feel like we flip flopped personalities on this episode. I'm saying, I'm saying I'm not ready to say that. There wasn't a lot of people that bought that. I was like, this is gonna be a funny thing.

[Frank]

Or like.

[Joey]

I think a more realistic is like people bought it because they know they could resell it. Now fair. The resale market.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

That might be 90.

[Frank]

I wonder. Google that. Google that. Google the resale markets in between 80.

[Padre Frank]

And $150 a bar.

[Joey]

And that's lower than I thought it would.

[Frank]

I honestly was expecting in the threes.

[Padre Frank]

I think the people need to get the bar first because they have to, you know, it's kind of. They're selling the pre sale, you know.

[Joey]

Yeah. Create some distance from. I just think here's the.

[Frank]

Here is.

[Joey]

What does it smell like? You think? It smells like legs.

[Frank]

I'm so glad you brought that up.

[Joey]

Boobs.

[Frank]

The scent that it has on the thing. First of all, can I just. Listen, I. Are they a sponsor?

[Joey]

They were Dr. Squatch.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

First of all, this is a genius thing that they're doing.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Let's just get that out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably pitched her on and be like, yo, it's like a toning tongue in cheek type of thing. And being like, it'd be funny if you did this. And she was just like, fuck yeah, let's do it. She's like, I've worked on cars. Ooh, is it like post working on a car? Because she's like a mechanic, isn't she?

[Frank]

So the, the, the, the whoever wrote the blurb for it, it says the perfect combination of the Two best places on the planet. The outdoors and Sydney Sweeney's B. Come on.

[Joey]

Dude, that's hilarious.

[Frank]

Come on. I know, but like, come on. And then it says here it's first of all grit level, medium.

[Joey]

What does that even begin to mean?

[Frank]

I love Dr. Squatch's soaps. Oh, I love when they have the grit. Yeah, dude, there's one that has like oatmeal in it.

[Joey]

What's that called?

[Frank]

The pine tar one. Yes, yes. They have one that has like full on pieces of oats in it. I love. I love Dr. Squatches.

[Joey]

So I love putting a bar on.

[Frank]

I actually love their deodorant too. I use their deodorant.

[Joey]

Yo. I don't really fuck with like body wash. I do like, I use it. But like, I would much rather a bar. Like a bar feels like I'm getting clean.

[Frank]

I both. So I. It's part of my body wash routine. I start with a bar and then I end with body wash for the fragrance.

[Joey]

On the same place.

[Frank]

Well, I bought it. So I body wash with I bar wash. Bar wash the whole body. And then I wash it off.

[Joey]

And then you do.

[Frank]

And then I do body wash.

[Joey]

Interesting.

[Frank]

So you double wash. Oh, hell yeah. You can't be. You got to be careful. The smell is morning wood.

[Joey]

Naturally. Naturally.

[Frank]

I will say this, minus the whole like Sydney sweetie's bath water. Part of.

[Joey]

Sounds like it smells good.

[Frank]

Smells like it smells so. It sounds like it smells great.

[Joey]

What is it?

[Frank]

Pine?

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

Douglas fir and earthy moss.

[Joey]

Earthy moss.

[Frank]

Just like an earthy, clean smell to it.

[Joey]

I love a fur.

[Frank]

I love pine.

[Joey]

So are they confirmed that like she actually got in a bath? Like, is that in the ingredients list?

[Frank]

It says a touch of Sydney Sweeney's bath water. Yeah, I. I mean, I imagine that it has to. And if it doesn't touch because.

[Joey]

Well, if I'm buying this thing.

[Frank]

If you're. If you're one of those losers.

[Joey]

Right. If I'm buying this thing, you know, I assume you want some sort of like, forgive me funk.

[Frank]

Maybe that's the earthy part of it.

[Padre Frank]

I was expecting more Sweeney on the nose.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

What is. What does that smell like? Like they could call anything. This smells like Sydney Sweeney and no one would know. But the people close to her.

[Joey]

He's talking about like your palate. Like, oh, I'm getting Sydney Sweeney on the nose. You're smelling it and you could smell Sydney Sweeney.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying how would anyone know what she smells like? You can do anything and say, this is what Sydney Sweeney smells like.

[Joey]

Well, it was a comedy joke, I think.

[Frank]

Oh, now we're not doing comedy jokes. Now we're. Now we're doing comedy jokes, mister. Well, I can't tell how many people that bought them are losers.

[Joey]

Well, because I know you're, like, 80% of the people who bought this.

[Frank]

No, I said. I said it's a fair. I said it's a fair assumption to make. Of course, I don't think our people.

[Joey]

That listen are losers.

[Frank]

I love people. I don't think people are losers. Everyone has a story that I love and I get behind.

[Joey]

Unless they buy a boat.

[Frank]

Unless they are buying soap because it is specifically marketed as having been steeped with Sydney Sweeney.

[Joey]

That's the thing. It better be steeped. Like, if I'm gonna. If I'm gonna get to the point where, like, yo, it. I'm about to buy bath water. Better be bath water in this thing and not, like, a molecule of bath water. I've been duped now by the system, but we don't know.

[Frank]

This is crazy.

[Joey]

Just no way to tell.

[Frank]

We're gonna find out how you're gonna buy it off the secondary market.

[Joey]

I can't. Yeah, what am I doing? I'm a smell and go, oh, this smells like shit.

[Frank]

Not only would I not buy this, but could you imagine, like, if you're a couple and, like, you're bathing with it and your significant other's like, what the hell is that? Yeah, bro. If I.

[Joey]

If. If, like.

[Frank]

Because, like, there are times where I'm in the shower and Becca will walk in and, like, you know, brush her teeth or whatever, and she. And I'm like, oh, I'm just washing myself with Sydney Sweeney's bath water. That's weird, right?

[Joey]

I don't think you lead with that. I also think that, like, if you're actually using it, that you live alone or you live in the basement apartment of your mom.

[Frank]

So now you're. You're leaning into the losers.

[Joey]

I'm saying if you're actually using it. My point was that, like, I think there's a lot of people buying it as a joke.

[Frank]

Yeah, I think that the chances. All right.

[Joey]

Because it is a big, fat joke, you know, it is a big fat.

[Frank]

On everyone but Dr. Squatch and Sydney Sweeney, because they're raking it in.

[Joey]

They're cake. I mean, they're not really caking like Dr. Squatch. They only made two. 2,000 bars. They sell.

[Frank]

Let's say they made. But. Yeah, but what's the margin caked. She probably caked. But what's the margin on the bars?

[Joey]

Doesn't matter. It's only 2000.

[Frank]

Yes, it does matter.

[Joey]

They're $8, the revenue dollars.

[Frank]

So if they.

[Joey]

$16,000 change the company.

[Padre Frank]

It's about the publicity.

[Frank]

You know what? I didn't even think, yeah, it's only.

[Joey]

16 grand, which it's not. But, like, it's less than that.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's.

[Joey]

It's about the pub.

[Frank]

I mean, chances got paid, right? She probably got a couple thousand.

[Joey]

A couple thousand.

[Frank]

I would say she probably got at least 100k easily. I would say she's. She's a very popular. She's an A lister. I would say she probably got at least. Oh, yeah. At least 250. Yeah, maybe.

[Joey]

And it's probably worth it for them, too.

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean, good for them. I mean, we're talking about them for 40 minutes.

[Joey]

Talk about.

[Frank]

Oh, we have.

[Joey]

We're talking about. We don't even. It's not even on this episode. What the hell are we talking about? But we do have some more sponsors here. The first one being how you doing? Seatgeek. Okay, so if you want tickets to something, you want to go to a baseball game, all right, if you want to come to the Padres game that me and Frank are going to be at, you can get those tickets on SeatGeek. Okay? So go to sea. Go download that app. It's number one rated ticketing app in the app store. So you can go to a baseball game or you can go to a football game, you can go to a concert or whatever the case is. It's the summer. Get out there into the sun and let it hit your face. And buy your tickets on SeatGeek. Not just because of. It's a cool, you know, app with a really cool interface that shows you if you have a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket. But we could save you some money on these tickets. Okay? If you download the app right now and use the code BASEMENT2025, you will get 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. Okay? So whenever you buy tickets to something, go download the app to go download the Sea Geek app and use that code BASEMENT2025 for 10% off of your tickets. Save some money, all right? But get out there, go run around and enjoy, okay? And lastly, here we have Kickoff. Okay. Kickoff is a credit building app. You can start building your credit immediately for just $1. $1 for your first month. Autopay will help you Build credit while you sleep and never worry about missing a payment. People make mistakes in their life or, you know, whatever happens and sometimes your credit gets a little messed up. This is something that can help build that. It is the number one credit builder on the App Store. Okay, so they have a lot of, you know, they have over 1 million users, hundreds of thousands of positive reviews and yeah, they're the number one credit builder in the App Store so they can help you build your credit while you sleep. Users with credit under 600 grew an average of 84 points in their first first year with on time payments. With transparent, affordable plans Starting at just $5 a month, no hidden fees and zero interest, Kickoff helps you score big when it comes to credit. It's simple. You make on time payments. Credit bureaus see good behavior and your credit can grow fast. Okay, so start building credit with Kickoff today and get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off of the normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com basement today, that is G-E-T K I K O F F.com basement. You must sign up via getkickoff.com basement to activate the offer. The offer applies to new Kickoff customers. First month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change average first year credit score impact of plus 84 points between January 2023 and January 2024 for kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600, who paid on time, and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary.

[Frank]

God love that.

[Joey]

Yeah. So you have something written down here about. I think you brought it up before the show, but the vibe checks.

[Frank]

Yeah. So apparently it is a trend that like the current generation of kids that are turning like 21, 22 within that age bracket. What are they? Gen Alpha, Gen Z. They're Gen Z. Gen Z. I'm sorry, forgive me. They are reportedly calling up bars before they go to bars to get a vibe check.

[Joey]

I like that.

[Frank]

Stop it.

[Joey]

I think calling up a bar and being like, yo, is it lit in there?

[Frank]

What? Why?

[Joey]

Because I want to know.

[Frank]

But what? So what answer makes you not go like, what are they gonna say?

[Joey]

It's dead.

[Frank]

I'd be like, why would they say that? Why would a responsible business owner be like, yeah, no, it's empty.

[Joey]

Well, it wouldn't be the owner picking up the phone.

[Frank]

It would be like a bartender. Why would any bro? If I was an owner of a bar and I heard that people were calling. I would tell my bartenders, tell them it's fucking awesome in here.

[Joey]

I guess it would make no sense to say, like, yeah, it's dead. Don't come.

[Frank]

Yeah, because then you're literally, literally telling people not to come to your fucking business.

[Joey]

I always wish that, like, I can go on Instagram and you know how, like, places have Instagram accounts and if I, like, clicked on their story, I would know what it looks like in there that night. So that I would know, like, oh, it looks cool in there, or it's too packed. I don't want to go there. Let's go somewhere else.

[Frank]

I know that there's, like, some stuff on Google Maps that I'll plug in.

[Joey]

I don't know how real that is.

[Frank]

I know.

[Joey]

Very busy.

[Frank]

It's busy. It's busy. It's, like, not very busy. Or like, you know, they save themselves.

[Joey]

Because they say, like, usually busy.

[Frank]

And I was like, bro, yeah. Like, I see it mostly with, like, when I'm driving, it'll say, like, oh, it's worse than average. Or like, this is the. It'll show you a graph. And it's like, this is the best time to leave and stuff like that. I hate this. Just like, go. If you're. If you're going to. If you're going to go out, go. And then if it's not what you, like, go elsewhere. Like, that's the thing is, like, why do.

[Joey]

We're saving the time? Like, maybe the place that you would go.

[Frank]

The experience. But the experience is about going. It's not about, like. Like, just go. Just go.

[Joey]

What do you mean? The experience is about going.

[Frank]

Like, the experience is about going to the place and then seeing it. And then if you don't like it, you go somewhere else. Like, that's how you learn. If you call up and you're just like, yeah. Not like, also, bro, if I was a bartender and someone said, hey, give me a vibe check, I'd say, come get a drink, you loser. I'm on one today.

[Joey]

I don't know that that would get them there. That would work.

[Frank]

That would guarantee to not get them in the door.

[Joey]

I think, like, as a. As the person who's going to. I get why it doesn't make sense for the bartender to be like, no, it sucks. Don't come. But, like, as the person who, like, wants to know, I don't think there's anything wrong with, like, wanting to be like, yo, we want to go out. We want to go to a Place and, like, socialize with some people. If there's no one there, I don't want to go there.

[Frank]

Here's the only way. I think this is acceptable, because, really.

[Joey]

You put a camera in the corner so that we could tap into it and be like, oh, wow, it's packed in there.

[Frank]

Just give people more opportunity to stalk each other. Why not, right?

[Joey]

It was a bad idea. It was a bad idea.

[Frank]

I just. I. The only version of this that is acceptable is, like, if you guys go out to a bar and you're. I text you, I'm like, oh, what do you guys do? And you're like, oh, we're at fucking McLoons. I would say, oh, what's it like? Is it. Should I come? Yeah, when. When other people are there, that's fine, bro. These people behind the bar are working hard to serve drinks and, like to have them take time out of there. Say they get five calls a night.

[Joey]

Like, this bar sucks, dude.

[Frank]

But you know what I'm saying, Like, that's taking time from them.

[Joey]

Taking time from them. What do you mean, bro?

[Frank]

If there's a packed bar and you're calling a bar to see a vibe check, is it, like, a good thing if they don't answer or a bad thing if they don't answer?

[Joey]

It's probably a good thing if they don't answer. If they don't have the time to answer, then it's packed.

[Frank]

But, like, from the perspective of the person calling.

[Joey]

I'm not also calling to. I've never done this, but I'm saying, like, if a place is, like, overrun, I don't want to go there. And think about this. If I want to go to a bar, that's like, yo, it'd be cool if we went to this place. I went, like, last month, and it was sick. And you get all the way there. It's in Hudson Yards, and you get all the way there, and it's like, it's either packed or it's, like, dead. Then you're like, all right, we're not gonna go now. It's like, where. Where else do we go?

[Frank]

And then maybe anywhere else that there are bars, which is. I mean, I know New York is a.

[Joey]

But a lot of people don't just walk into places. It's like, let's go to places that we know will be cool, and I want to go there. So you.

[Frank]

So then if you want to go there, why do you need to know the vibe? If you just want to go to that place?

[Joey]

I just want to make sure that's not super packed or super dead.

[Frank]

But if you want to go to the place, regardless of. I don't know.

[Joey]

People want to socialize, I guess for.

[Frank]

Me, I'm just seeing, like, bro, if I want to go to McLoons, I don't know why that's the first place.

[Joey]

That's such a weird name.

[Frank]

That is a bar, right? Is it McLoons? It's.

[Padre Frank]

I'm sure it is.

[Frank]

All right, let's. What was one? Bonnie?

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

Dibar Station. No, the Diddy. Better one.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

I don't know why I'm doing this.

[Joey]

I mean, either. Okay.

[Frank]

But what if I want to go there? Yeah, I want to go there. I don't necessarily care about the vibe, whether there's a lot of people or not a lot of people.

[Joey]

So you're saying if you were like, I want to, like, let's go to the ditty. We get to the ditty, and it's wall to wall. You're gonna go in? No.

[Frank]

Then I'll just be like, ah, all right, I'll go elsewhere.

[Joey]

That's the point that I'm making.

[Frank]

But I don't.

[Joey]

I feel like that changes whether you go or not.

[Frank]

But I feel like the going is the part that, like, I don't know. I think I'm being an idiot right now.

[Joey]

The going is the part. The Uber to the bar is what?

[Frank]

Just, like, the idea. Like, I want to go and just see it.

[Joey]

You want to go and see the outside of the bar?

[Frank]

Like, if I go. I think my brain is breaking right now. If I want to go to the ditty.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I. Even if I call them and they say, oh, my God, it's packed wall to wall, I don't know if I'll believe it. I would need to see it. I would need to go there and physically see. Or.

[Joey]

I'll do you one better. Sometimes places have lines. Like, they get so packed that there's a line. I don't want to wait in the line.

[Frank]

You know what? I'm gonna recant. I'm gonna pull back a little bit. I spoke about losers earlier. I'm apologizing to the losers. That's not their choice for being losers.

[Joey]

Feels like you're doubling down.

[Frank]

I am obviously coming from the perspective of someone that grew up where, oh, the bar here is not good. You can go to the 50 other that are around the corner. Sure. I'm not looking from the perspective of people that, like, it's their only night that they can go out. And there's maybe, like, one good place in this town, but it's also, like, what you want.

[Joey]

Like. Like, bars are just different. Like, if you're just gonna go to a dive bar. Yeah, you could go anywhere. But, like, if you. If you want to go to a cocktail bar or you want to go to, like, a lounge kind of area, like, those are not typically, like, right next door to each other, and there's places that have, like, better drinks or better, you know, this. Or if you want to go watch a sports game. Like, there's just bars for different.

[Frank]

Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'm recanting, and I'm taking it back. I'm dialing back a little bit.

[Joey]

How about this? How do you guys feel about this? And I don't know why this feels. Not embarrassing, but it's an interesting feeling. When you call a place and make a reservation and you show up and there's no one in there, do you tell the person that you made a reservation? You just walk in?

[Frank]

Yeah, I do. Because you don't know why there's no one in there. Could it be because they're, like, expecting, like, a big party?

[Joey]

What? All right, but, like, that would be.

[Frank]

A big wedding party.

[Joey]

But, like, I always tell the front because I. I don't want to get, like, the. The only thing that's going through my head is, like, I'm gonna tell them that it's. I have a reservation so that I don't get charged. Like, you didn't show up.

[Frank]

Yeah, exactly. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Joey]

But, like, if it's empty, I'm gonna do it anyways. Don't you feel, like, a little silly being, like. Yeah. Why?

[Frank]

No, because reservation. I feel like I. I hear what you're saying in that. Because that's happened to me a ton.

[Joey]

Yeah, me too.

[Frank]

Where I'll just be like, oh, I just made a. I made a reservation. Like, I didn't need to, clearly, but, like, I did.

[Joey]

None of this is, like, outward.

[Frank]

Oh, I.

[Joey]

In my. I'm like, why did I make.

[Frank]

I've walked into places where there's literally one other table, and it's like, oh, I made a reservation. They're like, all right, come this way, bro.

[Joey]

You know what drives me up the wall? When you go into a restaurant and there's not a lot of people sitting down and they seat you next to people. Put me on the other side of this place. Yeah. Why am I sitting next to people? I also don't like restaurants. And I get why they have to do it, but as a consumer, I don't like my tables here and their tables.

[Frank]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Joey]

And it's like, now I have to, like, whisper because I'm like. I'm having a conversation. I don't want these people to like.

[Frank]

Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. If you have the space, use it. Explore the space a little bit.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Why do you got to put me. I know. I know that there's probably an answer for this. Like, people in the service interview are gonna say, like, here is the answer, but I don't like the answer.

[Joey]

Move one of these tables. Let's move over. Give me, like, three more inches.

[Frank]

Also, if it's just two people, it needs. Whatever. All right. Whatever the party is that you're going with, the table needs to be plus one. So, like, if it's just me and you going to dinner, this needs to be a table for at least three people, because that's crazy, because we're ordering food, and we're ordering food. So there'll be plate, plate, and then stuff in the middle.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

You. It can't be a small table. Am I making sense here?

[Joey]

Wait, why do you need there to be an extra?

[Frank]

Because I order a lot of food.

[Joey]

Oh, you're saying tables aren't big enough to fit all the food?

[Frank]

They're not. No, they're not for me. Because then we got to do this weird thing where I'm just like. I pick it up and they put it there. And then I need to move this over here and put this down here.

[Joey]

I don't really love that either. Maybe that's why they do it in. Like, we're gonna bring this out, then bring this out. Bring that. I don't care about that.

[Frank]

But like, I. For instance, Becca and I went to dinner the other day, and too many plates. We got two appetizers and we got oysters.

[Joey]

Three plates.

[Frank]

That's three plates.

[Joey]

What were the other ones?

[Frank]

Wagyu meatball.

[Joey]

You slut.

[Frank]

Yeah. And a seared scallops in a butter corn sauce.

[Joey]

Joey, I'm so hungry, I am gonna.

[Frank]

Yeah, that would you best. And that, by the way, that wagyu meatball.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Sauce. And a whipped ricotta on top of it.

[Joey]

I love ricotta.

[Frank]

Oh, my God, I love that. And those oysters, by the way, good.

[Joey]

Don't know what that means.

[Frank]

Incredible. Incredible oysters.

[Joey]

Nice. Okay, so you have three plates out there, then you have your two plates.

[Frank]

Then we have the Two plates for us. Like it's just not a lot of space.

[Padre Frank]

Yeah, that's why the perfect number to go out to dinner with to me is an odd number because you always get that extra seat because most tables are for four or six.

[Frank]

Really good point.

[Joey]

Sometimes you get lucky. I've gotten lucky. And they'll put you in like corner because if you have the corner then you could like, you usually get something.

[Frank]

I don't like corner spots.

[Joey]

I like them. You know, I like being in the middle.

[Frank]

You know, my dad is one of those people that like has to have his like facing the door.

[Joey]

For like robbers.

[Frank]

I don't know what it's for, but.

[Joey]

I just said robbers.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's a stick up restaurant. You know, the incredible place to rob a restaurant. Restaurant.

[Joey]

Yeah. He thinks he's Pablo Escobar.

[Frank]

Yeah. I don't know. But like anytime we would go out to eat, he'd always be like, no, no, it's my seat. And he'd always want to sit at the back with his back to the wall.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

I don't know who my dad thinks he is or was.

[Joey]

Anyway, I think that's all we have for today. But yeah, like Frank said earlier, if you haven't gotten tickets yet to a basement art show, hit us up. Go to the basementyard. Com Tour starting up soon. So get tickets if they're available still in your area. I know some of our first show is in Kansas City. There's some tickets available there. So go check that out and go to the Basement Yard.com submit and keep writing in for the shows that you're coming to so that we could possibly, you know, maybe get you on stage, talk to you. We have no idea what the hell is going on, but that's all we got. Frank, where can they find you? And go find him there and you guys can go follow the show at the Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram and we'll see you next time.

[Frank]

And Patreon. Did you say that bitch?