#508 - Turning Into A Vampire

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard #508 - Turning Into A Vampire

Release Date: June 23, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato (Joey) & Frank Alvarez
Presented by: Santagato Studios

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1. Introduction and School Memories

The episode kicks off with Joey and Frank reminiscing about their school days, sharing humorous insights about their experiences and interactions.

• Name Preferences: Frank expresses his dislike for the name "Francis," preferring his full name, "Francisco." When asked if Joey had any alternative names he liked, Joey responds, "None off the top of my head" (00:46).

• "Get Caught Reading" Program: Frank recounts an elementary school program that encouraged reading by announcing students' names over the loudspeaker if they were caught reading, turning it into a raffle for prizes.

  • Frank: "It was like, get caught reading. Go out there and read." (03:09)
  • Joey: "Like, frankie, you're welcome." (03:48)

2. Rare Books and Literary Interests

The conversation shifts to their interest in rare books and libraries.

• Old Bibles and First Editions: Frank shares a TikTok discovery of a library vault showcasing rare books, including the "oldest known Bible" and a "first edition hardcover" of The Hobbit.
  • Frank: "I was like, that's pretty cool, dude." (02:16)

3. Movie Discussions

a. Sinners

Joey and Frank delve into their thoughts on the movie Sinners, particularly focusing on its vampire elements.

• Plot and Spoilers: They discuss how trailers might have spoiled significant plot points, such as a character being a vampire.

  • Frank: "They really, like, spoiled a big part of that movie in the trailers." (19:04)

• Cultural Appropriation Theme: Frank highlights the movie's commentary on cultural appropriation in music.

  • Frank: "A lot of critics have come out and said that it's symbolic of cultural appropriation and the stealing of black culture and music." (19:42)

b. True Blood

Their discussion extends to the TV show True Blood, exploring its portrayal of vampires and their societal roles.

• Vampire Lore: They debate the practicality and consequences of vampirism, touching on immortality, the need for blood, and societal integration.
  • Frank: "If you vamped them, but what if they say no?" (21:57)
  • Joey: "What if you have things? Can I just... drain a little bit out of you." (27:14)

c. Harry Potter

The hosts reflect on Harry Potter, discussing character dynamics and omitted elements.

• Kissing Scenes and Character Ages: They find certain romantic scenes awkward and unrealistic given the characters' ages.
  • Frank: "And they were like, yo, yo, shame drone. And they're like, talking shit to him." (45:00)
  • Joey: "You don't get to be both. They look very white." (46:26)

d. A Series of Unfortunate Events & Batman Returns

Brief mentions of other media, such as A Series of Unfortunate Events and Batman Returns, are made with light-hearted banter.

4. Vampire Lore and Hypothetical Scenarios

Joey and Frank engage in a playful yet philosophical debate about the desirability and implications of becoming vampires.

• Advantages of Vampirism: Joey muses about the allure of immortality and enhanced physical traits.

  • Joey: "And I was like, bro, I feel like I probably would be like, yeah, go for it." (20:20)

• Drawbacks of Vampirism: Frank counters by highlighting the perpetual thirst for blood and the ethical dilemmas it poses.

  • Frank: "And then you have this insatiable thirst for blood. So now you got to go kill other people." (21:13)

• Societal Impact: They discuss the potential overpopulation of vampires and the sustainability of such a lifestyle.

  • Joey: "The world would be very populated with vampires." (21:45)
  • Frank: "Eventually they won't be able to feed." (22:01)

5. Unusual and Banned Names

A significant portion of the episode revolves around discussing unique and banned names, reflecting on societal norms and personal preferences.

• Banned Names List: Frank brings up a list of names that are banned from being given to children, sparking a lively debate.

  • Frank: "One of them is 1069." (51:16)
  • Joey: "I think Jesus Christ is such a good name." (55:57)

• Creative Naming Ideas: They brainstorm unconventional names, often blending humor with critique.

  • Joey: "Soul majesty." (69:00)
  • Frank: "If I were to rename Jesus Christ, I'd name him, like, Max Shrek." (56:25)

• Cultural References: The discussion touches on how media influences naming trends, such as MySpace-era names.

  • Frank: "Like, in the MySpace day, every girl was Bella something." (69:26)

6. Experiences with Aggressive Dogs

The hosts share personal anecdotes about encounters with aggressive dogs, blending humor with genuine concern.

• Joey's Goose Incident: Joey recounts a near-attack by a goose while walking his dog.

  • Joey: "He broke the chain and just, like, jumped on me." (74:28)

• Frank's Swan and Pomeranian Stories: Frank shares experiences with a swan and a particularly vicious Pomeranian.

  • Frank: "The scariest dog I've ever met in my entire life was a Pomeranian. This thing was... pretty vicious." (75:23)

• Defense Mechanisms: They humorously debate how they would handle such attacks.

  • Frank: "If I'm gonna get attacked by a dog, I'd prefer it has balls because then I got something to hit." (64:05)

7. Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, Joey and Frank pivot back to promotional content, encouraging listeners to attend live shows and engage with them online.

• Live Shows Promotion: They announce upcoming live events and invite listeners to participate.

  • Frank: "We're doing live shows again, babies." (39:52)

• Audience Interaction: Encouragement for listeners to submit questions and stories for future discussions.

  • Frank: "If you go to the basementyard.com submit, you'll be able to answer some questions." (39:54)

• Final Banter: The hosts wrap up with light-hearted conversation, maintaining their signature humorous tone.

  • Joey: "What makes us good as a duo is we hold each other to high standards." (50:43)
  • Frank: "We could pee on it. Bury it." (73:55)

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Notable Quotes

• Joey on Vampires: "Can I kill animals? Can I... eat animals? Because that doesn't really change." (21:18)
• Frank on Immortality: "What makes milk so delicious is that it will go bad eventually." (30:41)
• Joey on Name Preferences: "No, I think you can't just keep killing people. I have blood bags." (32:07)
• Frank on Banned Names: "1069. Yeah. I don't... What's that?" (51:26)
• Joey on Aggressive Dogs: "I hate when, like, I see videos on the Internet of people's dogs..." (75:48)

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Conclusion

Episode #508 of The Basement Yard presents a blend of nostalgic reminiscences, engaging discussions on pop culture and mythical lore, and humorous debates on unconventional topics like banned names and aggressive dogs. Joey and Frank maintain their chemistry throughout, offering listeners both laughs and thoughtful ponderings on immortality and societal norms.

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been excluded from this summary as per the provided guidelines.

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Timestamp References:

• 00:46
• 03:09
• 02:16
• 19:04
• 19:42
• 21:13
• 21:45
• 22:01
• 50:43
• 51:16
• 55:57
• 56:25
• 69:00
• 69:26
• 74:28
• 75:23
• 64:05
• 39:52
• 39:54
• 73:55
• 75:48

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Links to specific timestamps are for reference purposes and may not be clickable in all formats.

Transcript

[Joey]

This is the way it feels to move through summer in Lululemon iconic aligned softness without the front seam for our smoothest look and feel ever.

[Frank]

Summer won't know what hit it.

[Joey]

Stretch your limits in the non stop flexibility of the new Lululemon align no line pant in select stores [e-mail] welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Francis?

[Frank]

Good.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

Francis. I don't like. I don't mess with Francis. Francisco. I like, obviously, because it's my name.

[Joey]

You said Francisco.

[Frank]

Francisco. Yeah, but I'm saying like the. But like Francis just as it is. Don't work for me. You know, if you could have any other name outside of Joey or Joseph, Are there any that you're just like, that's a sick one.

[Joey]

None off the top of my head.

[Frank]

Well, try to find one now. Joey.

[Joey]

All the names that are coming to my mind are so weird. Like Nathan and Arthur popped in my head and I hate both of them. Yeah. I don't.

[Frank]

I think Joseph is. Arthur's significantly cooler than Nathan or Arthur.

[Joey]

Yeah, Arthur's like a tree's name or something.

[Frank]

Yeah. I feel like Arthur would be someone that like studies books. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Studies books is very funny.

[Frank]

Just like someone that just like, is just like, this is a book.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like this is an older book.

[Joey]

Do people like research books because you're like reading books about other books?

[Frank]

Yeah, dude. People write books about other books. So weird. Which is so strange to me. I once stumbled upon a TikTok and it was like a guy. I don't know if it was like a bookshop or a library or what. And he was just like, come into the vault and you could see like the cool books that we have.

[Joey]

Take it easy.

[Frank]

Some of them were cool, dude.

[Joey]

Wait, was it like old Bibles?

[Frank]

Well, there was one that was like the oldest known, like Bible. It's like King Henry or King George's or one of the fucking old Bible.

[Joey]

Oh, that's in Yale, isn't it?

[Frank]

Is it Yale?

[Joey]

Yeah. Oh, the oldest Bible.

[Francis]

King James, I believe.

[Frank]

King James. Oh, he's got. He knows his, you know.

[Joey]

You know, old Bibles.

[Frank]

The father, son, no thing, knower of things.

[Joey]

Writer, you're a knower of things.

[Frank]

Know where things. You know nothing. That's what you know. But it was like, oh, this is a first edition hardcover. The Hobbit. And I was like, that's pretty cool, dude.

[Joey]

Okay. Stuff like that is cool. Yeah. I thought it was just like, oh, we really like these books. It's like, bro, you don't have to put it.

[Frank]

Do you still have your Harry Potter books?

[Joey]

I have one. I only ever had one.

[Frank]

Oh, really?

[Joey]

I only had the Sorcerer Stone.

[Frank]

Oh.

[Joey]

I got seven pages into that. I was too young, and I was like, I'm good.

[Frank]

Oh, I read them. I read them, and I got caught reading them by, like, our, like, elementary school. I've told this story before. Yeah, they did, like, a thing. It was like, get Caught Reading. And then, like, if they announce your name over the loudspeaker and you won, and I was like, oh, fuck, I won. I got caught reading.

[Joey]

What is Get Caught? What? Wait, what was this?

[Frank]

We were in fifth grade. I think this was when you were.

[Joey]

In school with me.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

What is Get Caught Reading?

[Frank]

It was like a program they did where it was just like, get caught reading. Go out there and know. Read. And if someone catches you and tells, you know, we'll pull your name out of a raffle, you know, and then if you win, you win a prize.

[Joey]

So we, like, read out in the hallway or something.

[Frank]

No, I would, like. I was legitimately. I wasn't doing it to win. I was reading.

[Joey]

But, like, where. Where are they catching you?

[Frank]

You remember how, like, when it's raining out before school, you'd go in and, like, sit in the lunchroom.

[Joey]

Got it.

[Frank]

Or like, at lunch, you know, or something like that. And I remember I got my name called over the loudspeaker, and they were just like, all right. And Frank, Frankie Alvarez, you know, from probably hype. 5, 3, 2, 7. Got caught reading, and I was just.

[Joey]

Like, frankie, you're welcome. Hold on.

[Frank]

You're welcome.

[Joey]

Was that our class?

[Frank]

Yeah, it was.

[Joey]

You remember the class?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

5, 3, 2, 7. I feel like that just rang in my head. Yeah, that's true.

[Frank]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Joey]

You remember that? That is crazy.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey]

Dude, getting your name over the loudspeaker when you're that age is basically like being on National Tell.

[Frank]

I was so hyp. And guess what the prize was. It was a wishbone book.

[Joey]

I was gonna say. Is it another book?

[Frank]

It was a book they gifted for reading. I thought it was gonna be like, yo, like, we got you, like, moon shoes. Or, like, we got you, like, a trip to space camp.

[Joey]

Yeah. Sketch or something.

[Frank]

I was watching a lot of Double Dare at the time. Duh, you know? But no, nothing. It was just, here's a book.

[Joey]

A book, dude, I remember the first time that I was in the office when they were doing the announcements, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm here for this thing.

[Frank]

You see in, like, the sausage.

[Joey]

They used to. Yeah, they used to play a. A xylophone. You remember?

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

So they used to do that. And I thought it was just something they played, but the guy actually played it.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah. So you saw the principal making sausage in his office.

[Joey]

You don't really have to say that, especially when I'm in, like, fourth grade at the time. But he, like, did that, and I was like, yo, what the. Like, this is crazy. And then he would do the announcements. I don't even think I said anything. I was watching.

[Frank]

I love. Doing the announcements was like, the earliest form of, like.

[Joey]

It's a talk show.

[Frank]

It was a talk show for us.

[Joey]

You're famous.

[Frank]

We were. Well, we weren't. But, like, whoever did it and whoever did it was so lucky, you know, I remember, I. It's a very famous story that we've told a, you know, a dozen times. I did it once, a couple times in high school, and then I got banned from it pretty quickly.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

But naturally, I just wish, like, how cool would a school be? Like, I always thought, like, when we would watch movies and, like, the morning announcements were like a talk show. Like, it was like a video.

[Joey]

We had that in high school.

[Frank]

Get the out.

[Joey]

In high school, there was.

[Frank]

They say, like, today it's eight Hail Marys. Give us your daily bread. Was it called Daily Bread? Please tell me it was called Daily Bread.

[Joey]

It was called Channel One. You guys probably had it.

[Francis]

We had it.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So stupid. You live down St. Francis Prep.

[Joey]

When I. When I was in the school, there was a kid who was older than me, and he created it. And then I guess it lived on. I wonder if they still do it now.

[Frank]

But, like, I imagine now that that's a. That's a way.

[Joey]

How would it be? Four years apart?

[Frank]

Yeah. You were born in 2018.

[Francis]

Five years apart.

[Joey]

Okay. Yeah. So I missed you. He. So it, like, lived on, but he would do this. He would make a show. I don't think it was every day. It may have been once a week where he made a show, and it was like a news show, and it was about, like, stuff, but also, like, interviewing some people and stuff like that, and they would play it for everyone.

[Frank]

That's cool. I think. I think they should do that more. I don't know if they do. They probably do. I went to Bryant High School, where, like, if you had Put a camera and said, film something to someone in that school, chances are it would have been sex related.

[Joey]

I was that boring.

[Frank]

Yeah, it would have been in the staircase. Exactly, bro. Exactly.

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, you can't do that in that school. People are pregnant, for God's sakes, in there.

[Frank]

I mean, careful.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

People were pregnant in st. Francis Prep 2.

[Joey]

That's very true.

[Frank]

So there you go.

[Joey]

Girl a year under me was pregnant. I remember.

[Frank]

It was a big thing. I don't want to say her name.

[Joey]

Beat me up.

[Frank]

What? Yeah. The boyfriend wanted to beat you up?

[Joey]

Yeah. And he was on steroids.

[Frank]

I almost got beat up by a guy on steroids, too.

[Joey]

Look at us.

[Frank]

Wait, did the girl like you?

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

Oh, he just wanted to beat you up.

[Joey]

I my. So here's what happened. Well, those things didn't happen at the same time. He was dating some other girl who's in my class at the time. And the teacher said to me, like, oh, you look like you've been working out to me. Right.

[Frank]

Damn.

[Joey]

And I was like, you're not beating.

[Frank]

Those sausage allegations, let me tell you. Oh.

[Joey]

I was like, where are you going?

[Frank]

You look like. Let me see. Take your shirt off. Let me see your.

[Joey]

Wow.

[Frank]

You look like you've been working out.

[Joey]

That's crazy. But I don't know. I don't even know if that's what they said, but they said something like that. Or maybe they were referring to sports or something. And then the girl was like, chirped in from the back, like, yeah, right, he doesn't work out or something like that. And I was like, yo, steroids, like your fucking boyfriend. And then everyone went, oh. And like, that's bad because I wasn't. I didn't mean for it to be like that.

[Frank]

Yes, you did.

[Joey]

No, I thought that it would just be like. Because, like, I knew her, I was friends with her.

[Frank]

Oh, you thought it'd be like a ha, ha, ha ha. Yeah.

[Joey]

But the fact that everyone goes, oh. Then it's like, now it tells a person, like, offended by that. Her jaw just dropped. And I was like, man, I'm fucked.

[Frank]

Why is she offended by it?

[Joey]

I don't know. But then her boyfriend found out. He's like, I'm gonna you up. And I was like, I'm.

[Frank]

Do I know the kid? Do I know the girl?

[Joey]

No, you don't know either of them.

[Frank]

I just asked. And you said no to both.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know.

[Frank]

Yeah. Oh, mine was because there was a girl in Long island that we Knew you actually might have been, like, in the know of this whole situation, because, you know the girl and she was dating this kid, but they were like, on again, off again. And he was like a roided out freak.

[Joey]

And a roided out freak. He's an rof.

[Frank]

And she liked me. And he found out several times, messaged me, like, I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, you know, just like that.

[Joey]

But, you know, we're good at ducking and diving. You know, a lot of people have.

[Frank]

Wanted to beat us up, but we never got beat up.

[Joey]

You know how people are like, yo, I'm not hard to find. I am very hard to find, dude. Now, especially when I know someone wants to beat me up, dude.

[Frank]

I'm like, now. But, like, back in the day, we were easy to find. And I remember the one time that, like, there was like, a group of people that were just like, yo, we're going to fuck them up. I remember. I was just like, you know where to find us? And they never found us. And we saw them often.

[Joey]

I remember when I was younger, someone was like, yo, come to the park right now. We're going to jump you.

[Frank]

Yeah, that was.

[Joey]

I was like, I'm literally going anywhere.

[Frank]

That call specifically.

[Joey]

Yeah, Rip. Yeah, he's the one who called me.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

He's gone.

[Joey]

Just kids being kids. But anyway, speaking of dying, I watched Sinners yesterday.

[Frank]

Oh, I watched it the other day.

[Joey]

It's. And you could, like, buy it now. I bought it.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Watched it.

[Frank]

What, you bought it or rented it?

[Joey]

I bought it.

[Frank]

To own.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So now you own this movie?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You could have just rented it, buddy.

[Joey]

I could have, but I feel like everyone's talking about. Has such a great movie, so. Yeah, I'll probably come back.

[Frank]

So rent it and then wait till it goes on streaming, which is gonna happen.

[Joey]

I'm just gonna have it forever.

[Frank]

So. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Joey]

Mm.

[Frank]

You purchased the digital version of this movie?

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

When? It's going to be available for streaming in two weeks? Possibly.

[Joey]

No, it's a. It's like. What do you mean?

[Frank]

You just wasted your money?

[Joey]

How?

[Frank]

Because you own a thing that is going to be readily available and accessible for the foreseeable future.

[Joey]

Those things go in and out of being owned by those.

[Frank]

Some of them. Some of them do. Some of them don't, for the most part, anything or. I mean, it depends on, like, what it is. Like, Harry Potter is jumping between Peacock and HBO Max every other day.

[Joey]

I mean, I own those movies, too. Digital Harry Potter.

[Frank]

Like, digitally. Yeah. That's crazy, right?

[Francis]

I don't think so.

[Frank]

I'm a physical media guy to this day. If I buy a video game, I'm buying the hard copy of it. I refuse to buy.

[Joey]

I don't want to chase things around and try to find it and whatever. Like, I have a movie.

[Frank]

Oh, you just Google where it is and you go there, brother.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Frank]

Yes. You have all the streaming services.

[Joey]

I don't know if I do, but, like, I've bought it. It's easy to access.

[Frank]

You got Disney.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You got Hulu.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You got HBO. Max.

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

You can watch 90 Netflix.

[Joey]

What is your issue?

[Frank]

Like, you just did. You made a silly little mistake, and I want to let you find it.

[Joey]

All right? I don't even think it's a mistake. Like, I think that, like, if it goes on to streaming platforms, it could come off at some time or, you know, whatever changes platforms or whatever. And I don't know, it's just easier. Like, all the. There's a bunch of movies that I've, like, bought over the years.

[Frank]

Like, you see them on your. What are you. There's, like, Apple tv, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

There's like, a bunch of, you know, first movie ever bought on there was a Wedding Singer. I don't know.

[Frank]

It's a great movie.

[Joey]

I was like, I haven't seen it. Good places start is this.

[Frank]

I don't know if I've ever. The girls like Ruby accidentally or Miles accidentally purchased Dumb and Dumber, which I don't hate. I'm very happy about that one.

[Joey]

It's a good one.

[Frank]

But I. That's. That's just silly.

[Joey]

Like, buy it accidentally.

[Frank]

It was on, like, the hbo. Not hbo. It was on, like, Verizon and like.

[Joey]

Oh, like on a channel.

[Frank]

Yeah. And they went and did it. And I guess it wasn't, like, password protected or something. And they automatic. Yeah. So I saw on the bill one week, one month. I was just like, did you buy Dumb and Dumber? Beck was like, no.

[Joey]

Buying movies off, like, tv. TV Guide is insane.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, that happened. So now we are.

[Joey]

Unless it's, like, porn.

[Frank]

Verizon fios, the owner of Dumb and Dumber.

[Joey]

I've never bought porn.

[Frank]

Like, have you ever bought porn at a hotel?

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

I don't know why you said, like, I'm crazy.

[Joey]

That's a. That's a very. Like.

[Frank]

But you strike me as someone traveling.

[Joey]

Husband thing to do.

[Frank]

Like, you strike me as someone that's just like, it's something that, like, it has happened. Like, it's like a thing that people do. So, like, I'll try it out once.

[Joey]

No, no, I mean also like, it shows up on your bill, like at the front, like your room bill. Like they know that you're like watching Naughty Nurses too. Yeah, some shit.

[Frank]

There was one time where our. My old landlord, we shared cable and they bought porn and it was like, on the tv.

[Joey]

Wait, how the fuck do you share cable with your neighbor?

[Frank]

It's a long story, but it happened. And they guys had the same bill.

[Joey]

You charge them.

[Frank]

I mean, we probably paid like a. Like a half of. Half of it or something. It's a long story and I'm not gonna get into the details of it, but we were like on the TV and we saw it was just like, you know, like a wild west themed softcore porno.

[Joey]

How did you see that?

[Frank]

Cuz, like when you turn the TV on, it, like the main menu pops up.

[Francis]

What was the name?

[Joey]

Wait, you guys are sharing a screen?

[Frank]

Essentially, in theory, yeah.

[Joey]

What? Where did you live?

[Frank]

I can't. I can't. But like we said, it was like a wild west themed porno.

[Joey]

Did you watch? Becca and I were like, you should put it on.

[Frank]

We. We need to see what this is.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And we put it on and the guy had just like a wild cough. Like, the guy. It was just like this old white guy.

[Joey]

Wait, I feel like I faintly remember.

[Frank]

You saying, I probably have told you this story in confidence or on a show before.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And. And it was like he was just like a soft core porno guy and he was an old white guy and he just had a wildly bad cough. And then once we saw I was starting to get into the whole, like, you know, like, I'll get you out of jail for a press. And then it's like we were like, we need to turn this off.

[Joey]

Was it gay?

[Frank]

I don't think I got far enough to see if there was any gay stuff, but from where we turned off, it appeared it was going in the root of hetero.

[Joey]

Oh, okay.

[Frank]

Yeah, it was going in heterosex land.

[Joey]

Yeah. Watching porn on your television, that's bananas.

[Frank]

Yeah. I remember back in the day, My dad had DirecTV and I knew the channel for the Playboy channel.

[Joey]

I had a legal cable. It was like channel like 69. No, it was like 65.

[Frank]

65 Spice TV.

[Joey]

That's what it was.

[Frank]

That's what it was.

[Joey]

One time I put it on while my dad was in the dining room that my Dining room and the living room is separated by nothing.

[Frank]

Nothing. It physically, like, it could. There's no way. It could be harder for him to. Like. I'm sorry. Easier for him to see what's going on in it.

[Joey]

And I was like, I'm just gonna go real quick. And I remember, bro. I remember this clear as day. I. He's in the dining room, but his back is turned towards me, and I'm like, I'm just gonna flip and see a tit real quick. And I get to the channel, and all you see is just bush.

[Frank]

All right.

[Joey]

Just straight up bush. It took up the whole television. And I was like, oh, my God. And I got. I got out of there, but I was like, yo, I remember this thing is burned in my memory. This bush burned in my memory. Yeah, the burning bush.

[Frank]

That. That was a different crazy. That was a different bush crazy. He saw that in high school.

[Joey]

Well, that bush was my religion at that time, so.

[Frank]

What an incredible wordplay. Absolutely.

[Joey]

I remember that so, like, vividly.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

Or I remember because the. The illegal cable box that we had.

[Frank]

It was the one that had just the three buttons on. Channel up, channel down. It was just brown and it was brown. And it was, like, light gray buttons. Yeah. And it had the red numbers.

[Joey]

Yes.

[Frank]

How is that. So how do we all have. How did everyone have an illegal cable box? How. And, like, no one.

[Joey]

How do we get it?

[Frank]

I don't know. But, like, how did it. How is it not a bigger thing? Like, cable is such a protected thing now.

[Joey]

Yeah. And I remember when I found out, oh, it's illegal cable.

[Frank]

And say, give us your cable.

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't know what would even happen.

[Frank]

I don't know. That's. That's. That's very strange that, like, everyone in New York, everyone that I knew, had it.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And they all had the same channels. Channel 6 was Nickelodeon. Channel 22 was Cartoon Network, bro.

[Joey]

Yes.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Your memory is disgusting. It got there 22. I remember. I. Yes. Oh, my God. That's so crazy.

[Frank]

And 65 was Spice Channel.

[Joey]

I do remember.

[Frank]

And it was tits, brother.

[Joey]

It was tits and bush, tits and jazz. Yeah. This was playing.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

This was saxophones.

[Frank]

When we were kids, when it was like, first of all, you could. You also, like, you couldn't lower the TV enough. You had, like. So, like, even at this lowest setting, you would hear, like. And it was just like, you know, like, tits.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Was that Careless Whisper?

[Frank]

It was Careless Whisper. It was. I remember that.

[Joey]

I also, like the cable box used to Get a little up sometimes. Like if it was like a rainstorm or something. So if you went to that channel specifically, which I have done during a rainstorm, it was fuzzy. It was fuzzy. So I'd be like. I'd be looking at like black and white fuzzy. Trying to make out the curvature of a tit. Hell yeah. You guys don't even know.

[Frank]

Yeah, you guys are so spoiled now.

[Joey]

4K tits, dude.

[Frank]

4K 65 inch TV's fuzzy. Fuzzy, dude.

[Joey]

I had to slap the side of the TV and be like, yo, get this.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

Be slapping it and just trying to sit, make this signal work.

[Frank]

You guys don't get it.

[Joey]

You don't understand.

[Frank]

You don't understand.

[Joey]

Dude, you used to have to spank my tv. Yeah, it's a weekly.

[Frank]

Yeah, it is a weekly. It's a weekly.

[Joey]

All right. Anyway, I was watching Sinners.

[Frank]

Yeah. Good movie. I liked it a lot.

[Joey]

I liked it. Vampires.

[Frank]

And I mean spoiler, I guess, for the people watching it.

[Joey]

I mean, I think people.

[Frank]

I was just telling this to Ant before because I asked him if you watch it. Because I watched it. I said, like, yo, they really, like, spoiled a big part of that movie in the trailers, like, with one of the characters being a vampire. Yeah, because like, and here's the thing is that, like, I saw that character and was like, oh, I know where they end up. But, like, who that character was, like, the turn was crazy. I was just like, oh, fuck. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, it was bigger than what I imagined that they would want to spoil.

[Joey]

I think the whole movie was more of, like, to be interpreted and it wasn't really about vampire.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, a lot of that's.

[Joey]

Why I think they could gave it away.

[Frank]

A lot of critics have come out and said that it's symbolic of cultural appropriation and the stealing of black culture and music.

[Joey]

That much was pretty evident.

[Frank]

Yeah. I think he actually one time Remick says, like, I want your music.

[Joey]

Yeah, he does.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Multiple times.

[Frank]

Well, yeah, several times.

[Joey]

But I thought it was a good movie. But like, at one point it's like, vampires. At one point there's vampires. And I guess if you really are like, crazy about spoilers, I'm not really giving anything away and be as vague as possible, but, like, the vampires are trying to convince the people who aren't vampires, like, yo, be vampires. We'll live forever.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

And I was like, bro, I feel like I probably would be like, yeah, go for it.

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Why not?

[Frank]

First of all, you see some of these motherfuckers.

[Joey]

I don't think that being a vampire is all that bad. Also, when I was younger, I wanted teeth.

[Frank]

Yeah, I know. I know you did. What I'm saying here is, like, you're thinking that they're gonna be like a little cute nibble. Like a little. And they're gonna turn into a vampire. Dude, bro, they're gonna fuck your shit up.

[Joey]

Yeah, but then I live forever, bro.

[Frank]

A little pain, but, like, how do.

[Joey]

You make an omelet? You crack a few eggs, Frank.

[Frank]

Did it heal, though? Does it heal? I don't think so.

[Joey]

So bite my back.

[Frank]

Oh, shit. Joey. Where the hell did you go?

[Joey]

I'm just saying bite somewhere that, like, you can't really see.

[Frank]

So you want them. I think one of the characters, they got bit on, like, the shoulder like that. I don't know, man. I'm not doing that. What we. You. You want to live forever?

[Joey]

You're not living for. I mean, you're.

[Frank]

And then you have this insatiable thirst for blood. So now you got to go kill other people.

[Joey]

That I didn't really think about. Yeah, killing is rough also. Can I kill animals? Can I. Can I eat animals? Because that doesn't really change.

[Frank]

I think it's. I think that the whole lore about vampires is that the insatiable lust is for human blood.

[Francis]

Yeah, but you could bite and not kill, right? You could just take a little. Little blood.

[Frank]

Yeah, but then they become a vampire and then they are no longer alive. So you can't like, eat your vampire boys.

[Joey]

The world would be very populated with vampires.

[Frank]

That's what I'm saying. Like, this is like. This is like those like, you know.

[Joey]

Like, vampires actually survive forever because, like, you can't just keep killing people. I think everyone is a vampire.

[Frank]

There's a great point. Eventually they won't be able to feed. This is like those like multi, multi marketing, Multi level marketing schemes like Advocare and Fit Tea or whatever.

[Joey]

Yeah, you go out, get two.

[Frank]

Yeah, you go out, get two. You go out get two. You go out. And it's like they can only do that like 10 times before the whole world is a vampire.

[Joey]

Yeah. In this specific example, though, I would have been like, yeah, just buy my shit, whatever. Really, I'm with all my people that I know in this small town, bro, you're nuts.

[Frank]

You. All the people around you are going to grow old and die.

[Joey]

Not if we fucking.

[Frank]

But like, then you're gonna convince the people in your life to be like, yo, be a vampire. With me and one of those, like, no, I went to St. Francis Prep.

[Joey]

I. I would shoot them a text first, and I'd be like, yo, we all vamping. And, like, let's just vamp. And then we could chill.

[Frank]

You think vampires can actually, like, use us? Take a selfie? Oh, because they can't see their flag.

[Joey]

I just need to send a text message or just pick up a phone and be like, yo, you're cool. If I. If I vamp right now, can I come through and vamp you guys? And then we'll be chilling ill. No. Why?

[Frank]

Bro, you're. You're like, you're. You're. Then you're. You're being a bad guy.

[Joey]

Why? We're all just, like, chilling.

[Frank]

What if they say no?

[Joey]

What if you have things?

[Frank]

What if you have. What if you have children? Yeah, and, like, I bite my dog.

[Joey]

I can't fuck out of my dog.

[Frank]

Well, he doesn't forever. Dog vampire doesn't turn into a dog vampire. No, I don't think so. I've never seen a dog vampire.

[Joey]

Have you?

[Francis]

No. That'd be kinda scary.

[Frank]

Psst.

[Joey]

Your payments are showing, but with Apple Cash, your payments are private by design. There are no public feeds, awkward reactions, or unnecessary payment drama. Apple Cash lets you send cash and messages right in the conversations you're already having. Or with tap to cash paste someone next to you without looking up a username or scanning a QR code. Just hold your iPhone near someone else's to send, switch to Apple Cash and start sending privately. Apple Cash services are provided by Green Bank. Member fdic.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Oh.

[Francis]

Dog vampire. Werewolf.

[Frank]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Joey]

No, bro, that's fucking, like. Oh. Completely different.

[Frank]

So you're a hundred percent. All right. So you could turn three people into a vampire with you, and they, like, they will say yes and raising his hand.

[Joey]

You want it? You want a vamp?

[Francis]

I'll do it with you.

[Frank]

Why do you want to vamp so hard?

[Joey]

Why do you not want to vamp so hard?

[Frank]

Because the idea of living forever sounds.

[Joey]

But you're not living forever. Because I could just, you know, wouldn't stake in your shit. And it's a wrap.

[Frank]

Yeah, but then I need to be, like, cool with you killing me. And it doesn't. I mean, you saw the movie. Doesn't look like it's very painless to get staked. Stuck.

[Joey]

Staked. I'm sure that sucks. Or you can get shot with a silver bullet. And it's silver.

[Frank]

Isn't that.

[Joey]

Or garlic?

[Francis]

I think so.

[Frank]

And, dude, garlic. I met You. No more garlic for you. That would be heartbreaking for me. I love garlic.

[Joey]

I do love garlic.

[Frank]

And also all the food in the world you can't have ever again.

[Joey]

I could eat it. It just won't do anything for me.

[Frank]

No, I don't think you can. I think it makes you sick. I've watched True Blood. Right?

[Francis]

Some food already makes him sick.

[Frank]

Anything makes him die. A doodle. Cha, cha, cha.

[Joey]

First of all, I think you're talking about yourself.

[Frank]

No, you're not.

[Joey]

The only thing I can't eat is shrimp. Big whoop.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's true.

[Francis]

You gotta lay off the garlic bread maybe.

[Frank]

All right, dude, you're losing. Garlic bread, garlic knots. Any pasta that has garlic, any. Honestly, all food, you're gone.

[Joey]

Also, now that I'm thinking about it, the biggest thing that would suck is no sunlight. Ew.

[Frank]

Yeah. You won't be able to see the sun.

[Joey]

I would have to, like, get, like, a really good European tan. And then I would vampire. Because then I don't want to be like, just like.

[Frank]

I mean, that's the other thing is you're dead. You'd be a white, little pale bitch.

[Joey]

No, I think that, like, I could be.

[Frank]

How?

[Joey]

I think you just. Because, like, Haley. I mean, and then, you know, whoever. Whoever in that movie becomes. They look the similar as they did.

[Frank]

Yeah. But they're dead, so the pigmentation in their skin is slowly fading away and you can't see the sun. So how are you gonna get a tan? And you're not gonna go to fake tanning because that uses you UV rays, which is what is dangerous to vampires. I'm very caught up on my vampire lore.

[Joey]

Yeah, I know, but I don't know. It doesn't sound that bad to vamp.

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Also to have, like, really cool teeth.

[Frank]

The teeth would be. I would only be cool if they were retractable. Like in True Blood, where they can just be like. And then that would be sick. You never watched True Blood, did you?

[Joey]

No, I've heard it's just like blood and blow jobs. That's what I've heard.

[Frank]

You should watch it.

[Joey]

It's a bit late.

[Frank]

No, you can watch it. It's all on hbo. You could go and watch it and report back after you watch the first season. Let it, Let it. Let me know what you think. Because they. They be fucking, sucking, drinking blood, you know?

[Joey]

Also, can I just, like, have.

[Frank]

I'm gonna do bad things if I'm a vampire.

[Joey]

Can I just get, like. Let's say, for instance. Right? I hire Ant and be like, yo, I'm gonna pay you 200k a year.

[Francis]

Okay?

[Joey]

No, no, no. I'm gonna. I'm gonna pay you less.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joey]

Okay, I'll take that. Okay, right up. Yes. So I pay you whatever. I pay you something good, and then, like, you know, once a week, I, like, drain a little bit out of you. Yeah, but you.

[Frank]

The time you bite him, he turns.

[Joey]

No, I'm not gonna bite him. I'm just gonna drink his blood.

[Francis]

Yeah, I have to. I have to do it myself. Get. Get him my blood.

[Joey]

Yeah, like, you're my little blood bag.

[Francis]

I'll do that.

[Joey]

You know what I mean?

[Francis]

I wouldn't like.

[Frank]

So he's your prostitute, basically.

[Francis]

No, I wouldn't like to be called a little blood bag.

[Joey]

He's like my lifeline.

[Francis]

We could. We could call.

[Joey]

I'm not gonna call you my little blood bag. But you will be that also.

[Frank]

Once a week is crazy.

[Joey]

Is that a lot of times you.

[Frank]

Need to eat food once a day?

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, I have a few of him.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Frank]

Oh, well, now. Now you're not his special little blood bag.

[Joey]

Now you're just one of my number one.

[Frank]

This is what they. This is what they say to all of them. You're not number one. You're just another one of the blood bags.

[Joey]

Oh, it's like, what's it called, Mad Max, where they have blood bags?

[Frank]

Did they have blood bags?

[Joey]

Yeah, they were, like, having the blood from those people.

[Francis]

You make me a vampire, I'll get five blood bags. I'll be in charge of it. You'll be fine.

[Joey]

Now we're talking about a real pyramid. He's gonna manage.

[Frank]

You drink one of this, you'll lose all of your weight.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have a blood bag manager. But, like, this way I don't have to go out and kill. I could just be like, yo, just give me your blood.

[Frank]

Well, like, you have to. You'd have to.

[Joey]

I technically don't like what they did.

[Frank]

What they did in. What they did in In True Blood is they. They learned how to synthesize it and bottle it and sell it to vampires.

[Joey]

There you go.

[Frank]

But we're not in True Blood.

[Joey]

Could be.

[Frank]

If we are, then you're in trouble because they, like, fucking, suck and fuck and, like, they take the vampires as, like, sex slaves and shit like that.

[Joey]

Why?

[Frank]

You gotta watch? Gotta watch True Blood.

[Francis]

Wasn't it the opposite?

[Frank]

No. You don't remember? They would have. I don't want to spoil. Oh, I remember 400 years old.

[Francis]

Well, they were doing experiments on them. It's a whole thing. It's not exactly accurate.

[Joey]

All I know is that I can get some blood bags.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, because it'd be like, oh, my God, that's Joe Santigato. And it'd be like, yo. You'd be like, yo, thank you. Like, and subscribe and send your type negative. Yeah.

[Joey]

Is that, like, a thing? In true Blood, like, there's, like, certain blood that, like, tastes better?

[Frank]

I think so. Unless I'm mistaken, I think they bottled it. And it's like, this is AB plus, this is a minus. You know, the real blood tastes better.

[Francis]

Than the synthetic blood.

[Frank]

Yes, obviously. I mean, that's. That's nature, baby. You know, it's like processed foods.

[Joey]

Actually, it's the opposite for our food.

[Francis]

It'd be cool.

[Frank]

You think processed foods taste better than real foods?

[Joey]

In theory, like, people are like, oh, God, this is the sugar. And whatever.

[Francis]

I see what he's saying.

[Frank]

Gotcha. Yeah. Like Gl. Like sucralose and like that.

[Joey]

Yeah. Like, it's supposed to make things taste better.

[Frank]

Yeah. I don't think I would ever be a vampire because, like, I would. I would see, like, my friends and family, like, grow up and.

[Joey]

Not if you vamped them.

[Frank]

But what if they say no? What if they say no?

[Joey]

I would be. Just try to be convincing.

[Frank]

What if they say no? If they say, listen, I want to grow up and, like, see life through the lens of an aging individual. Because what's. What is never too crazy. It's so crazy.

[Joey]

It's never too late.

[Frank]

Joey is always the first one where we're just like, yo, a billion dollars. You get. This is like. You become aimless. You have no purpose. Why would I want a billion dollars if. If life is endless, does that not take the meaning out of life? If you have the ability to live forever, does that not absolutely take it from you? Because the beauty of life is the fact that it ends. That is what the beauty of life is. And things within the scope of our world. Okay, what. What makes a wine delicious is that it will go bad eventually.

[Joey]

That's not why.

[Frank]

It's what makes milk so delicious. Because that will go bad eventually.

[Joey]

Is milk delicious?

[Frank]

A flower is so beautiful because it is. It is crafted. And then it eventually will die and have to grow back. Okay, if. If your life is just never ending. Eternal.

[Joey]

Well, it could end. You're leaving that part out.

[Frank]

It could end by a certain word, which we won't say in theory.

[Joey]

Red rum.

[Frank]

Well, that way But I'm saying, if you were to choose to end it.

[Joey]

Sue.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Oh, vampires can, Susan.

[Frank]

I mean, is that not what you're saying? Is that not saying, like, could end some.

[Joey]

If someone could attack me and do.

[Francis]

It, you probably would have to deal with some vampire hunter eventually for sure.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

Do you really think that you could not overpower vampire hunters?

[Joey]

I don't know. I think I'd have to live in a dark castle. The. The biggest selling point for me is, like, no sunlight. That's tough.

[Frank]

No sunlight, no food. I'm crazy. It's crazy. You're not food. No, I don't think you can. I think, like, food makes them sick. So what, you're gonna take a bite of a cheeseburger, just then throw it up violently?

[Joey]

No, I think I would just eat it and be like, oh, well, I still need some blood.

[Francis]

Extra rare.

[Joey]

Extra rare.

[Frank]

But that's cow's blood.

[Joey]

It probably doesn't not do anything.

[Frank]

Do you guys not keep up to date?

[Joey]

I mean, we're drinking cow milk. That's not us.

[Frank]

You also need to feed off of, like, eventually.

[Joey]

Dude, I have blood bags. Are you not listening? I got my little blood.

[Frank]

Your little blood boy? Yeah, it's my little blood boy. Where are you draining it from?

[Joey]

That's not for me.

[Francis]

That's my choice.

[Frank]

That's your choice?

[Joey]

That's my choice. Were you draining it from his veins?

[Frank]

Gotcha.

[Francis]

I think Frankie would do it.

[Frank]

No, I would not. No, I would not. Unless I could, like, confirm. Take my most beloved friends and family with me.

[Joey]

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying.

[Frank]

Yeah, but, like, if they say no, then I'm. Then what?

[Joey]

Then what if they were like, yo, I want to grow old to be like, all right, when you get old, we'll vamp you.

[Francis]

Also, when they're sick, you know, when in the old age, eventually they'll be like, all right, vamp me.

[Joey]

That me.

[Frank]

All right, yeah, but then you have a. You never see, like, an old, like, an old person vampire. It's always, like, a young person or, like, in their, like, 30s, you know? Like, those are the vampires. You also never see, like. Like, a morbidly obese vampire.

[Francis]

Well, they don't have a lot to eat. Just blood.

[Joey]

You want to talk about ozampic? You are a vampire.

[Frank]

Oh, vampic.

[Joey]

Oh, vampic. I hate that we said that.

[Frank]

Yeah. It was not. It was not one of our better.

[Joey]

I also don't love blood.

[Frank]

That's the other thing.

[Joey]

I don't like it, but I Think.

[Frank]

I would love it, though.

[Joey]

I would love it, obviously.

[Frank]

No, but like, you would need it. Just because you would need it doesn't mean you would love it.

[Joey]

No, they love.

[Frank]

That's like for instance, you've never seen.

[Joey]

Have you seen a vampire drink blood? Dude, they're.

[Frank]

Yeah, because they need it, not because they like it, but they drink and.

[Joey]

They'Re like, oh, it's probably like doing age.

[Frank]

We're going to H now.

[Joey]

It looks like it. That's what they look like.

[Frank]

One of the things in True Blood is that that if you drink the vampire's blood, it's a drug. It's called V, right? Is that what it's called?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Would you sell you? Would you be a little blood bag for him? Little blood boy?

[Joey]

What's he paying? What are you paying?

[Francis]

An even exchange Christmas bonus.

[Joey]

Oh, oh, you want to blood bag each other?

[Frank]

Well, just a little bag for bag, you know, Bag bag.

[Francis]

Just a little bit.

[Frank]

You guys are bag boys, duffel bag.

[Joey]

Boys, going bag and forth.

[Francis]

Yeah, there it is.

[Frank]

Your wordplay has been outstanding this episode.

[Joey]

We're going back and forth with bags. Wait, so who's the vampire, me or you?

[Frank]

You.

[Francis]

Not you.

[Frank]

And then he's his. He's.

[Joey]

I can't drink a vampire's blood.

[Frank]

No, you give your blood to him.

[Francis]

It's like a little drug for me.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

Give me a little taste.

[Frank]

A little taste of that. A little. Good, good.

[Joey]

You know, take some.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Get you hooked. Then I start making you pay me so then I can make something back of that salary.

[Frank]

That sounds yuck.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

Drinking blood disgust like out of a cup.

[Joey]

Aren't you one of those guys who drinks blood? You drink your own blood. Like you suck your blood out of your finger.

[Frank]

Oh, like if I have a cut, I'll do that. Yeah, but like, I'm not drinking it.

[Joey]

Like. Frank, I'm gonna be serious when I say this. When I say this right now. Hold on. I'm gonna say, out of all the things that you've done in your life, that was the most impressive thing that you've ever done. I cannot believe that. The volume at which you did that and the accuracy. Cartoon swallowing, this is the guy that you need. Pixar, whoever, whatever big company Disney, this man is born to do cartoon swallowing sounds. That was incredible. Greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. That was like watching fucking the Comeback, you know what I mean? When the Patriots beat the fucking Falcons. That was unbelievable. Couldn't believe it. I was just Watching. I'm real.

[Frank]

Oh, my God.

[Joey]

God bless. How you do suck your blood?

[Francis]

Hell yeah. How long you have to be bleeding until you're like, okay, I'm sucking too much blood.

[Frank]

I don't bleed very long, guys. I don't know what you think is happening over bleed long. I have working anticoagulant, or what is it called? Not anticoagulant. I want coagulants.

[Joey]

Yeah, you got a quag.

[Frank]

I want my quags.

[Joey]

You got a quag.

[Frank]

I have my. My blood is good.

[Joey]

It quags.

[Frank]

It quacks when it needs to, and.

[Joey]

It doesn't quag when it's not supposed to.

[Frank]

I have not yet experienced a situation where my blood is not needed to quag. So quag good.

[Joey]

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[Frank]

And you like domains. And I'm not talking about physical places, but what about Internet domains? Because I got a real cool one for you. How about patreon.com the basementyard folks? That's quite the domain there. And what are you going to get in this domain? Not only are you going to get more of us, but you're going to get additional episodes and maybe even us a little bit early. You never know. So thank you to over 34, 000 of you that have become paid patrons. It supports us directly. It's the best way to support us directly. So thank you. We want to give you guys more of what you like, which according to you is more of us. So go to patreon.com the basement yard. Sign up for that first year and you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, well, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the basement you yard. Okay? And if you want to save a couple bucks while you're doing it, go on your computer, go on your phone, open your web browser and type in patreon.com the basement yard. Instead of using the app, the app takes extra money from you. So you could save yourself a couple bucks if you use the web browser version. So go check it out. Thank you so much to all of our friends and we, we really, really appreciate it also.

[Joey]

Oh.

[Frank]

We'Re doing live shows again, babies. We're doing it. We're doing it and it's a good time. Okay? And we want you guys to be there. So thank you to everyone that has, you know, tagged us and them buying tickets. There are some tickets still available and you could find those tickets at the basement yard.com scroll down you'll see shows. Go through some of the shows, some of the cities. Maybe you want to make a trip out of it. Maybe it's in your backyard and there's some tickets available. Nonetheless, go check it out. Okay. And thank you to everyone that is coming to those shows. If you are coming to the shows, we're. We like a portion of those shows. I can say shows a couple more times to be interactive. Okay. And what we want is if you go to the basementyard.com submit, okay. S u B M I T, you'll be able to answer some questions, a little questionnaire, tell some stories. We can talk to you about you, with you, or you can be kept anonymous. But we'd like this to be interactive. So if you want and you're feeling nasty, go to thebasemanyard.com submit to. Thank you, guys. We're really excited to get back. After it, go check it out. Shows are coming up. We're excited. You're excited? Hell yeah.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank]

I asked you a question. You didn't answer it. If you can turn three people, not including Charlie, into a vamp with you, who you bringing with you?

[Joey]

You say whiff with who you're bringing with you?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

You're a big mama's boy. I know. You're bringing Mom.

[Joey]

Not necessarily.

[Frank]

But it's about who you want. It doesn't matter about them. They don't get a choice.

[Joey]

You just said that's the whole point.

[Frank]

I know, but I'm saying in this.

[Joey]

Situation, I don't know, I, I think that, like, I would probably not, like, if I could get the people I know to be like, yo, let's just all live like this.

[Frank]

You could start like a commune of vampires.

[Joey]

Now that I'm thinking about, though, I don't know if I could do no sunlight.

[Frank]

Also, you're gonna have to live the rest of your life with some of these people.

[Joey]

Yeah, well, no, I could move, but.

[Frank]

Like, they're tied to you, so they'll be like, I've owned you.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

I don't know. I'd pick. I, I.

[Joey]

What about wizardry?

[Frank]

What about it?

[Joey]

I don't even know what I meant by that. I would love to be a wizard, dude.

[Frank]

Oh, wizards would be cool.

[Joey]

Would you go to Hogwarts?

[Frank]

Would I have gone to Hogwarts?

[Joey]

Would you have helped Harry Potter? I'd probably be like, yo, chill.

[Frank]

I'd be like, yo, there's a lot going on. Like, I'm just trying to learn, you know, Wingardium Leviosa right here, bro.

[Joey]

I got class. You want to I gotta fight giant snakes and Wizard. I'm good.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean I think eventually I would stand up because I tend to want to be on the right side of history with my moral beliefs. So like I would eventually be like, you know what, here we go.

[Joey]

Captain Courageous over here. He's gonna fight Voldemort. People won't even say this guy's name. And you're fucking 11, you're going to be like, yeah, let's go fight him. You went to one class where they pulled a fucking plan out of a pot and all of a sudden you're equipped to fight the, the, the darkest wizard who's ever wizard. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I'd be like, Harry, you got the scar, you know you're protected by something here. I don't know about me, bro.

[Frank]

See this right here, right?

[Joey]

I don't know about me.

[Frank]

See this rich white man with blue eyes and a clan hood. You think we know where what side he's fighting on?

[Joey]

Doesn't have blue eyes.

[Frank]

Crazy that you went with the blue eyes first.

[Joey]

Why, what was the other things you said?

[Frank]

I said clan hood.

[Joey]

Oh, I'm not gonna dignify that with a response.

[Frank]

Yeah, because you don't want to upset your buddies. I think that I would fight. I would be like, nah, you know what guys, get out of here, Voldemort. Listen dude, get out of here. And then he'd have out of good ever me and I'd be like, I'm gone. I'd catch a vod, a cav, you.

[Joey]

Know, you'd be Seamus. Dude, you have shit blown up in your face all the time.

[Frank]

I mean he was eventually he was heroic. He fought on the right side.

[Joey]

Did he?

[Frank]

Yeah, he was part of them. He was hanging.

[Joey]

Well, they had no choice. At a certain point I'm saying like.

[Frank]

They had a choice. Look at Malfoy. He had a choice and eventually he made it. But eventually beginning he didn't.

[Joey]

What? Oh I was like, what the. That confused me. No, but like when the first year this dude's like, yo, we have to go into this room. Let's guarded by a three headed dog. It's like bro, we don't.

[Frank]

I'd be like, no we don't. Yeah but like once the wizard Nazis are invading the school, I'll be like, all right, now I'm saying that first where it's just like there's a snake. We got to go underwater and find it.

[Joey]

I'd be like, that's what I mean.

[Frank]

Take it easy.

[Joey]

He's like, yo, there's a. There's a book. And I'm trying to figure out all these riddles so I can go to the Dark Lord. I'm like, dude, let's just, like, go to school.

[Frank]

Yeah, let's go to lunch. Dude, why do we need to do all this? Yeah.

[Joey]

Have you ridden the stairs?

[Frank]

I will say this.

[Joey]

That's fun enough.

[Frank]

I will say this. A part of Harry Potter that they obviously didn't include. That place would have had so much sex and so much hooking up.

[Joey]

Frank. I think they didn't depict that for a reason.

[Frank]

I know, I know what I'm saying.

[Joey]

Like, one thing that they left out was that no one got fingers.

[Frank]

I'm just saying, like.

[Joey]

It'S so not true, bro.

[Frank]

If you had a bunch of kids going through puberty, living together, they would all be hooking up, right? No, this is what they left.

[Joey]

What they left out was doggy style. There wasn't enough dog. There was a three headed dog. No doggy style.

[Frank]

This is fake. I'm just saying, obviously they're not putting that in the book. Although, you know, what with the way that J.K. rowling's going, she might throw some stuff.

[Joey]

There was that one scene that, like, Ron was seeing a vision of, like, Harry and Hermione, like, making out. Mad.

[Frank]

Yeah, dude, in the last movie where they're like, naked, kissing hard.

[Joey]

Yeah, that was so weird.

[Frank]

Yeah, very strange. Like, and they're like, yo, yo, shame drone. And they're like, talking shit to him. You remember that? Yeah, they were just like, you'll never be good enough. Yeah, you'll never be good enough for me. Here's me and Amoiney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was. That was a strange one.

[Joey]

I'd be like, what the fuck?

[Frank]

Yeah. Mm.

[Joey]

What's that?

[Frank]

It's weird.

[Joey]

What's weird?

[Frank]

Just the whole. Yeah, yeah, the whole, like, kissing scene was weird.

[Joey]

That was weird. And also they looked very, like, white.

[Frank]

I think the idea was they were supposed to be like, ghosts. Ghosty looking. Yeah, because it was like a smoke thing from, like, the Horcrux. I. It is really crazy how much of this show just eventually divulges into us talking about Harry Potter.

[Joey]

It's kind of wild. But the idea of a child being like, I'm gonna take on the worst.

[Frank]

Well, let's talk about A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[Joey]

I don't want to talk about that movie. With that one guy, Lemony Snicket. He's got fucking ear hair.

[Frank]

First of all, care. The author was Lemony Snicket. Oh, the character that you're referencing was Count Olaf.

[Joey]

Got it.

[Frank]

And he was played expertly by Jim Carrey.

[Joey]

Didn't his house have, like.

[Frank]

It was like, rickety. Yeah, yeah. Well, it had some rickets. Is that a thing? What is a ricket?

[Joey]

It's almost a cricket.

[Frank]

No, but like, when someone says something is rickety, you know what it is?

[Joey]

It's like old and like.

[Frank]

But like. So then what's a ricket?

[Joey]

I don't. I don't. I don't think that's like, the origin of the word.

[Frank]

Well, if I say something is rickety is the origin. Yeah, rickety. But, like, in order to be rickety, there needs to be a basis for what rickety is, which is a ricket.

[Joey]

I don't know that that's true.

[Frank]

Like, if I were to say that you're.

[Joey]

Yeah, well, you're describing a like, adding ly is advert.

[Frank]

No, you. Don't start pulling out language arts on me.

[Joey]

Adverb.

[Frank]

I know. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. But I'm saying, like, you know what's crazy?

[Joey]

The rise of pronouns and everything has really helped me, like, with that, understand what a pronoun. Like a noun, you know, an adjective, you know, but like a pronoun. Once you start adding, like, there's two syllable words, pronoun, adverb. I'm like, all right, we all know.

[Frank]

What an adjective is. It's a person, place, or thing.

[Joey]

I know what.

[Frank]

We all know what a pronoun is. We all know what a noun is.

[Joey]

It's person, place, or thing.

[Frank]

That's an adjective.

[Joey]

No, it's not.

[Frank]

Describing a person, place, a thing. A noun is a person. Pleaser. Thing. We all knew that.

[Joey]

Wait, what are you. Wait, what are you talking about?

[Frank]

Just. I just want to make sure you knew.

[Joey]

Knew what?

[Frank]

What a noun was.

[Joey]

I know what a noun is.

[Frank]

Good. We all know.

[Joey]

Then you didn't know what a noun.

[Frank]

I knew what I noun was. Nice try.

[Joey]

What's it. What's up? What's a adverb?

[Frank]

You know.

[Joey]

Well, break it down. You can get this.

[Frank]

You know what a verb is? Verb. It's what you do. I remember those commercials back in the day.

[Joey]

So then what would an adverb be?

[Frank]

It's doing what you do.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

It's describing what you do.

[Joey]

Yeah, like an example.

[Frank]

Exactly.

[Joey]

No, what is an example?

[Frank]

Well, you give me an example, Mr. King Smart.

[Joey]

Well, I know what.

[Frank]

All right, let's say at the same.

[Joey]

Time, there could be any number of.

[Frank]

All right, so let's say if the. The verb is climbing, an adverb is quickly.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah. It describes the way that you do the verb.

[Frank]

Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And then a proper noun, obviously.

[Joey]

Is that just like, a name of a thing?

[Frank]

Well, you tell me.

[Joey]

I'm trying. I don't know. Is that just like the name, like. Oh, like St. Patrick's Cathedral. Why is that? Example.

[Frank]

Why? This has been a heavy, like, religious. Religious kind of talk.

[Joey]

Religious and vampires.

[Frank]

Top three cathedrals.

[Joey]

I've seen St. Patrick's dude, I went to Notre Dame. I like St. Patrick's better.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I mean, I'm gonna give it to Notre Dame because it's older.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

And I'm, like, a couple years older. I'm in France, so.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it Notre Dame or Notre? Dame?

[Joey]

I think it's Notre Dame, probably. But, you know, the other day Becca.

[Frank]

Said, notre Dame, and I said, that's wrong.

[Joey]

You don't get to be both.

[Frank]

I said that. I was like, that's wrong. She's like, you sure? I was like, notre Dame? Yeah.

[Joey]

That's funny. Yeah. No, but yeah, that's definitely top three cathedrals.

[Frank]

I've been into St. Patrick's St. Notre.

[Joey]

That ain't it.

[Frank]

What does Notre Dam mean?

[Joey]

I don't know that it hasn't. I thought it was just like a.

[Frank]

That's what it is, Dom. Dame is like. Like it's for a woman.

[Francis]

Our Lady.

[Joey]

That's what it means.

[Francis]

Our Lady.

[Frank]

Look at me.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

I'm fucking genius, bro.

[Joey]

You don't even know what an adverb is.

[Frank]

I knew what it was. I just wanted to make sure you knew. We. Oh. What makes us good as a duo is we hold each other to high standards. And my standard for you is understanding what an adverb is.

[Joey]

Is what you understand. Exactly. Also, you brought up before that, like, there's, like, band names. Can you. Can you. I want to know. Yes.

[Frank]

So I saw this thing that came out that there is a list of names that have been banned. I don't know why I said it like that. And I want to see. Some of these are pretty good, I don't think.

[Joey]

Are they? Like, they're not normal names.

[Frank]

Some of them are like.

[Joey]

Trevor.

[Frank]

No, you could still call yourself Trevor. Although we probably shouldn't.

[Joey]

What's wrong with Trevor?

[Frank]

Just a name.

[Joey]

Yeah, I thought There was, like, a reason.

[Frank]

So one of the ones there. I'm gonna go one further. Not only are they banned, apparently they're illegal. You can get in trouble if you try to name your kid this. So one of them is 1069.

[Joey]

1069.

[Frank]

1069. Yeah. I don't. What's that? Is that like a hip thing in the. Some community who the is naming their child?

[Joey]

I mean, I guess Elon Musk, but, like, who's. Who else is named.

[Frank]

I think Elon Musk goes to, like, a shooting range and, like, fires a gun at, like, a series of iron plates and then names his child.

[Joey]

I think he farts on a calculator and then just goes, this. This is what I'm naming my kid.

[Frank]

What was it like? The one that was just like, X.

[Joey]

A, E. That's what I'm referring to.

[Frank]

Omega, N. And it was like their name is Eric. It was like, come on, man. What do you. What are you doing?

[Joey]

I.

[Frank]

But 10, 69, that feels like a specific number.

[Joey]

Why don't we just outlaw all numbers? Does anyone. Do you know anyone with a number name?

[Frank]

We. Their name was seven, but it was spelled.

[Joey]

That's a sick name.

[Frank]

That was. It wasn't spelled the number 7 right, but, like, also 1069. What is that? And why not just do like, 4, 20, 69.

[Joey]

If you had to name your kid a number that wasn't seven, what would you. Which one?

[Frank]

Eleven.

[Joey]

Cop out.

[Frank]

I mean, you asked a question. All right. 90.

[Joey]

I don't even know what you just said.

[Frank]

90.

[Joey]

90.

[Frank]

90.

[Joey]

I say 90 because it's spelled with a T. You pronounce that 90.

[Frank]

I mean, I. I think for this, the conversation, I pronounce it 90, but, like, normally I'll say 90.

[Joey]

Oh.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

90. 90. That's interesting.

[Frank]

Like, this is my kid. Nine.

[Joey]

90.

[Francis]

Like thousand.

[Frank]

Thousand.

[Joey]

Thousand.

[Frank]

Milli. Million. And then just be Millie.

[Joey]

That's. That's a good one. Okay. Thousand. Thou.

[Francis]

I was thinking, like.

[Frank]

Or billion, Billy.

[Francis]

Yeah, like the big num. Like the full name.

[Joey]

Your kid. Billion is crazy there. I'm sure those aren't bad names, though. Billion and million. I mean, 90 is not bad either.

[Frank]

I'm very good at this. 60.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

All right, up.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Why does seven sound like such a good name?

[Joey]

Seven's great.

[Frank]

Seven, but the seven, that's probably what it was. It was probably like originally, like, Sven. There's like, seven, and then it just stuck.

[Joey]

Yeah, I like 10 a good name. 10 or one.

[Frank]

So you criticized 60 and you hate. You you're going with 10.

[Joey]

Oh, I'm like, I'm trying it on. I'm not, like, committing to 10. 11's a good one.

[Frank]

11 is a really good one. It's like, it's nothing in the fives or fours. So, like, fours. Four. Five is five. It's like, oh, this is 58.

[Joey]

58 is crazy. Sucks.

[Frank]

70 is good to, like, 78. Oh, this is 78.

[Joey]

78.

[Francis]

Anything with an and you gotta toss that. Like 101.

[Joey]

Yeah. No, no, no.

[Frank]

101.

[Joey]

No, that's stupid. No, 78. 71. 70. 70. 70. 70 is not bad.

[Frank]

Yeah. All right, what are we doing? 10,69. The next one is at just the. The A with the circle around it.

[Joey]

What are we doing? What are we doing?

[Frank]

If I ever. I'm not even kidding. If I met someone and they were like, this is my name, and they wrote it out like that, I would. I'd be like, just on principle alone, I can't know you at hi, I'm at. I'd be like, no, you're not. You're. I'm gonna call you Carl.

[Joey]

Yeah, I would, like, call them something not that.

[Frank]

Addie. Oh, I guess that kind of works.

[Joey]

Addie. Addie Works Addie at. That's crazy.

[Frank]

Next one is three, but it's just the Roman numeral for three.

[Joey]

II Oi.

[Frank]

Oi. I guess if this child was named after Alpha 5 from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, that would be their name.

[Joey]

All right. Didn't understand that one at all. Yeah, you know. Oi.

[Frank]

Laughing too hard.

[Joey]

Did you know what that was when he said he didn't know.

[Frank]

He's laughing way too hard at that. It's so bad that it's good, right?

[Francis]

No, it's good.

[Joey]

Three is not great.

[Frank]

All right, next one. Messiah. That's kind of a cool name. I agree. I kind of like this one.

[Joey]

I get the religious, like, not like, yeah, wanting people to be named Messiah.

[Frank]

But like, yeah, I. I don't mind this one.

[Joey]

You can name your kid Jesus. Can't name a Messiah.

[Frank]

Next one on here. Jesus Christ. All right, you can name Jesus but not Jesus Christ, right? But, like, can you. Can you do Jesus Christopher? Jesus Christ. And the Messiah is a good one.

[Joey]

Yo, can I say something? Jesus Christ is a great name. That's just a good sounding name.

[Frank]

It's all right.

[Joey]

Nah, dude, it was always gonna be Jesus Christ.

[Frank]

If I was to rename Jesus Christ, I'd name him, like, Max Shrek.

[Joey]

I don't even know what he said. Was there Shrek in there? I heard Matzah Shrek. Is that what you said? Matzah Master Shrek, Max.

[Frank]

But now that I think about it, Max Shrek was the name of Christopher Walken's character in Batman Return.

[Joey]

His name was Max Shrek.

[Frank]

That's just. For me. That's just clearly.

[Joey]

I think Jesus Christ is such a good name. It's such a power. It's. It feels like there's light on it.

[Frank]

You know, I think Max Shrek or, like, something sharper than Jesus Christ.

[Joey]

How do you feel about the. About the name God? I don't think it's that good. Where does Christ comes a better name?

[Frank]

I feel like. Yeah, I feel like God should be.

[Joey]

Named, like, something cooler.

[Frank]

Something cooler than God? What's cooler than God?

[Joey]

Jesus Christ.

[Frank]

Jesus Christ.

[Joey]

Yeah. That's, like, better. Or, like, have two names.

[Frank]

Knife.

[Joey]

Knife.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

No, I wouldn't name God Knife.

[Frank]

This is our. This is the one. Above all. What's their name? Stalactite.

[Joey]

That's not bad.

[Frank]

Yeah, because.

[Joey]

But that feels Greek. Like, Greeks would probably be like, this is. This is Stalactite. And he, like.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

He stole the sun from, like, you know, someone or some shit.

[Joey]

Yeah. Or like, you know, instead of scissor.

[Frank]

I'm just thinking of sharp things.

[Francis]

He's very sharp.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I was thinking. I was thinking lesbians.

[Frank]

Okay, well. And God forbid, we had a God named after lesbian.

[Joey]

A lesbian God. What about, like, Stone?

[Frank]

Ooh, okay.

[Joey]

Stone.

[Francis]

It's too earthly.

[Frank]

Well, what is God if not of this earth?

[Joey]

He is partly of earth.

[Frank]

He crazy.

[Joey]

Well, they call him him, don't they? Or is that Jesus Christ still. Back to that great name.

[Frank]

That's back to it. Next. Both on here, King and Queen, separate names.

[Joey]

You could definitely name.

[Frank]

I mean, King is obviously just for, like, pit bulls. Everyone.

[Joey]

Those are Pitbull, my dog, King.

[Frank]

This is King. And I. I walk him with a leash, but the leash is a chain.

[Joey]

It's a bike chain.

[Frank]

It's a bike chain. And that's how I walk him. And he eats raw meat only.

[Joey]

Come with me to get ready to feed my fucking pit bull human bone.

[Frank]

And watch how I take a picture with him with my legs spread out and he's standing in front of me like this. This is King. Yeah.

[Joey]

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm dmx.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm gonna sit on my car hood and take a picture with my dog, who's also on my car hood and my dog.

[Joey]

For some reason has the biggest balls ever.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joey]

Dude. People who have like. I think there's a correlation between people who use those big ass chains for their dogs and the dog's balls.

[Frank]

I was gonna say usually crazy.

[Joey]

I was gonna say there's a poodle in my building. The fattest balls. I'm like, what is that?

[Frank]

I was gonna say there's probably a correlation between fat nuts on a dog. Tiny on the male owner of that dog.

[Joey]

I don't know, dude. It's so rare that you see balls. And I saw balls in the wild.

[Frank]

And I was like, yo, these are giant on a poodle. Nonetheless, I feel like I would never think a poodle was a. With a. Was a boy dog.

[Joey]

It's literally like, I feel weird seeing it. Yeah, I shouldn't be seeing this. You should pants on this dog. I think that if your dog has giant balls, you should put shorts on.

[Frank]

Isn't that. Yeah, I agree. They should wear something. I don't want to see your dog's.

[Joey]

Nuts everywhere because they don't look. They look like balls, dog. Like, they do.

[Frank]

They're dog balls, dog. Yeah.

[Joey]

Like it looks like a dude's balls.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

And like, we're just out here on the street.

[Francis]

I was walking home and this tiny woman was walking this gigantic pit bull. And I was just like, if this dog wants a problem, we're both in trouble.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Dude got big balls.

[Francis]

No. Yes.

[Frank]

I'll be honest, if I'm attacked by a dog, I'd prefer it has balls because then I got something to hit.

[Joey]

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[Frank]

No, no, no, no.

[Francis]

He said he wants to touch its huge.

[Frank]

No, stop that. I didn't want to say that. No, no. Both of you cut it out. Okay, firmly. I said if I'm gonna get attacked by a dog, I'd prefer to be one with big testicles. So I could have like a clear like bro, when you play a video game, let's play Zelda. Let's play Zelda together. And you see the big like the area on the boss that you need to hit with your weapons. Then it's like, alright, like this is doable. I know what I need to do here. If a dog bites me and it got nuts, I know where to kick. Easy is that.

[Joey]

The comparison you just made is so funny.

[Frank]

Easy is that man.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, I don't need to wonder how I'm gonna defeat this thing. I see the weak spot and it's. And it's the dog nuts, bro.

[Joey]

You know what happened to me? I was almost attacked by an animal. I was walking my dog and there was a goose. And it was like. They, like. They do, like. They, like, hiss or they go, thief, thief, but they have their tongue out.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Yes, that's better. I don't know what I'm doing.

[Frank]

But yours was not bad, I'll be honest.

[Joey]

But, like, they were, like, honking at me and then hissing at me. And I was like, yo, you're lucky there's a fence in between me. I'll fuck you up.

[Frank]

Well, you remember my story when I almost had a fistfight? A swan. This thing was big.

[Joey]

I got bit by a swan at the zoo.

[Frank]

I would have killed it.

[Joey]

It got my finger a little bit. I liked it, though.

[Frank]

What? Yeah. Why?

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

Just getting bit by this one was foaming at the mouth and I knew.

[Joey]

Swan.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

But I get fucked by a raccoon. How does that happen?

[Frank]

I don't know. This stuff happens. Maybe it got attacked while it was out there. Yeah, I don't like. Ducks are cute from a distance, brother. Like, cute over there. Like, I don't need to.

[Joey]

When I went to. When we were in London, I took a walk to whatever that park is called. But they had a bunch of swans, and they were, like, right up on me.

[Frank]

Yeah, I don't fuck with that.

[Joey]

They were cool, though. They were chill. No one honked. Did you see the video that. That we were getting tagged in on? Tick Tock, where it's like, you're walking alone at night. It says, like, an owl. And you going, like. There's, like, a bunch of different ones.

[Frank]

I saw the one that was like, us, but it was the story of Lion King.

[Joey]

What, I missed that?

[Frank]

Oh, it's a good one. It's a really good one. I'll show you after we record. But it's like. I don't know how people have the time to do this. Thank you. But also crazy.

[Joey]

You were about to tell me what it was like, and then you stopped. You, like. It's like. It's like.

[Frank]

I can't explain it. It's just like. It's. It's. It's us, like, talking, and then the roar is in there. And then you being a cat. I think both of us being a cat are in there. Oh, no, I was a cat. That's right. I think, like, you're talking about. Like, you're talking about Timon and Pumbaa. It's all in there.

[Francis]

I saw one basement but it's. It's only animals.

[Frank]

Yeah. The best one that I've seen and was one that we sent each other was the building a house.

[Joey]

Bro.

[Frank]

Pang, pang, Pang. Bang Bang.

[Joey]

I was dying when I saw that.

[Frank]

Some other names that we have on here that also banned Majesty. I don't know why. That's a kind of a cool name, Bro.

[Joey]

I know a kid that is a teacher, and there was a kid in his class whose name was. Ya Apostrophe. Majesty. Ya Majesty. That was his first name.

[Frank]

I like that.

[Joey]

Your Majesty.

[Frank]

I like that one.

[Joey]

I'm like, yo, you don't like it? I think it's. I think it's heavy.

[Francis]

It's really heavy.

[Joey]

It's heavy because it's like, bro, this is it. Like, now you have to be like a royal dude.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Or you can just be yourself.

[Joey]

I know, but like, you're using your majesty.

[Frank]

I like your majesty. I think it's a cool one.

[Joey]

Your majesty.

[Frank]

Who are we to judge? You're Joseph.

[Joey]

First of all, no one's saying it's a bad name. I'm saying you don't hear that name.

[Frank]

I know you don't. You absolutely don't. What's. Do you remember anyone that you went to school with? The only person I could remember was. I guess I can't remember them.

[Francis]

You mean like a weird name?

[Joey]

I don't think I had anyone.

[Frank]

Oh, treasure. But that's not that weird.

[Joey]

I had. I had a princess in high school.

[Francis]

I had a prince and princess brother, sister, which makes it cooler.

[Frank]

That kind of does.

[Joey]

What are the.

[Frank]

But then what if you have a third child? What do you name them? Jester.

[Joey]

I think there's other dudes.

[Francis]

There's other ones.

[Frank]

Probably Duke is a good one.

[Joey]

Duke.

[Francis]

You go back around. Probably Queen, king, prince and princess.

[Joey]

Yeah, we had a princess in high school. I don't think there was anything else that was like.

[Frank]

I think there was one kid named Chef Cott, but everyone just called him Shove Cock.

[Joey]

Shove is crazy. Yeah. There was kids in my high school that him, his brother, who's older than us, and their dad had the same name. Like, same first name, last name.

[Frank]

What was like George Foreman. George Foreman named all of his kids George Foreman, which is that. That just doesn't make any sense.

[Joey]

I don't even get the strat.

[Frank]

Yeah, like, you're all George Foreman.

[Joey]

This is my daughter, George Foreman.

[Frank]

Yeah. Weird. Two more on here. One of them I think you will. Obviously not like Nutella.

[Joey]

Nutella. Oh, that's a beautiful name.

[Frank]

I think it's a great name. Why can't you name your kid Nutella? It's got to be like, the brand was just like, don't do that. They're Italian.

[Joey]

Are they also Luigi? Was that.

[Frank]

I don't know. I don't know. Would be.

[Joey]

I love that name.

[Frank]

I love that name.

[Joey]

Nutella. I like double. Double L into an A. Names are great.

[Frank]

You like those? Yeah, I'm trying to think of, like, other ver. Like Isabella.

[Joey]

I like Isabella, Angela, Esmeralda, Michaela.

[Frank]

Where's the double L? Michaela? I've never seen it with double Ls.

[Joey]

No, but like, anything that's like, love.

[Francis]

I think you mean phonetically like that.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

That's such a, like, Italian girl thing. Like, Maria Angela, Bella.

[Joey]

I don't like that shit.

[Frank]

You remember that back in the MySpace day, every girl was Bella something?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, Anna, Maria, Bella, la, la, la, la. You know, La Bella, Stephanie. Like, that was when it was even funnier, when it was just like, a clearly not Italian name. Like, it was just like, Michelle Simpson, and they were just like, la Bella fuchina. Michelle Simpson.

[Joey]

There was a girl growing up that. Her. I think it was like her MySpace name was like, her name, and then Bella. And still to this day, I refer to her as that.

[Frank]

Yeah, she still referred. Like, we don't. I don't think we've ever used her last name.

[Joey]

No, it's.

[Frank]

She's so and so, like.

[Joey]

And everyone knows who we're talking about.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Like, because of her MySpace name. It's like, oh, that's. I don't want to say her name. But, like.

[Frank]

Yeah. And then do you remember there was, like, a select few Italian guys that call themselves Bellow? And we call. And they were. They got roasted.

[Joey]

One of them. I know that we called him Bellow because he did it.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey]

He was like, I don't call him that anymore, though. I've seen him.

[Frank]

Oh, I haven't seen him. I think I also wouldn't call him that. I would probably just call him by his regular name. But, like, back in the day, he was like, I'm Bellow. Bellow. So and so I'm not gonna say his name. I almost slipped up. You saw that.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I like Bellow, actually, as a dude's name. Yeah, it sounds kind of cool.

[Joey]

Bellow and Bellow. I'm sure there's dudes named Bellow.

[Frank]

Santa Claus. Can't call your kid Santa Claus. That seems disrespectful.

[Joey]

That feels crazy.

[Frank]

I'M paying respect to one of my favorites.

[Joey]

This is my son, Santa Claus. So crazy.

[Frank]

That would be awesome. That'd be the coolest kid in school if we were kids.

[Joey]

Mojo. Daughter's name be Easter Bunny?

[Frank]

Could be. Maybe they're named off her. Maybe. Maybe that Santa Claus could be named after when they were conceived. So, like, the next kid could be like, Cinco de Mayo. Yeah. Yeah. But they can't. Clearly, they can't go with the Christ part of it. So they're just like, this is Santa Claus. And it's like, why are all of our kids named after, like, generally, like, holidays? Like, here's St. Patrick. Here is Cinco de Mayo. Here is Arbor Day. Here is Santa Claus.

[Joey]

Harper Day.

[Francis]

Christmas is a way better name than Santa Claus.

[Frank]

I disagree.

[Joey]

I like the last name Christmas. There's people with that last name, like.

[Frank]

A football player recently with the last name Christmas.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Francis]

Couldn't tell you.

[Frank]

But I like the last name Lloyd Christmas from.

[Joey]

Oh, Lloyd Christmas. That's a good one. Yeah. Okay.

[Frank]

And the last one here is obviously Adolf Hitler.

[Joey]

You added that one.

[Frank]

No, I did not.

[Joey]

Wow. It's on there.

[Frank]

It's on there.

[Joey]

Yeah. That feels like a. Without, like.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You don't have to say it.

[Frank]

You know what's sad is that people have tried to use that one probably more than the others.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

Like, there's some. I'm sure there's people that are just like, we're gonna. We're gonna. Why does he get to ruin the name? You know?

[Joey]

Well, I think that you could probably still use Adolf. I feel like that's a popular name.

[Frank]

Yeah. But people probably.

[Joey]

I would probably steer clear just because I would.

[Frank]

I would avoid it because of the association. Yeah. I would even just avoid Adolf.

[Joey]

That's what.

[Frank]

Oh, that's what you're saying?

[Joey]

That's what I'm referring to. You're not gonna be like, hey, this is my son.

[Frank]

Are there still people with the last name name Hitler? Cuz, like, that is such a specific.

[Joey]

This may be a dumb thing to say. Was that his real name?

[Frank]

I think. I don't know.

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't know why, but I felt like maybe that wouldn't be his actual name.

[Francis]

I don't think it's a dumb question.

[Frank]

I don't think it's a dumb question either. I. I think you're okay with asking that.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

But, like, boy, absolutely.

[Joey]

It was his name.

[Frank]

It was his last name.

[Joey]

Did he have any other, like, names? Like a middle name or something?

[Francis]

No.

[Joey]

I don't.

[Francis]

I don't know. Hitler's middle name.

[Frank]

Is this show. What is it?

[Joey]

The way you said.

[Frank]

No. I don't know.

[Joey]

Yeah, I think we retire that one.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Retirement. I think we piss on it.

[Frank]

We could. Yeah, we could pee on it. Bury it.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, also Adolf. Not just. Not a great name.

[Joey]

Yeah. It's sharp.

[Frank]

It's. And the back. The back end of it. Hitler. Definitely not a great name.

[Joey]

Don't like that.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Well, we should talk about something else.

[Frank]

Yeah. Before we get out of here.

[Joey]

You know, I'm really glad that we saved that for after the ads, because I'm sure they wouldn't be happy about that. What did you say? The dog with the balls.

[Frank]

I think you've never been attacked by a dog.

[Joey]

I have.

[Frank]

Like, in real life.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Are you okay? Yep.

[Joey]

I. When I was younger, I was going to Steinway Deli. I was with my mom, and there was a dog outside, and he was a big dog, but I was also, like, a kid. But I do remember this. And he broke the chain and just, like, jumped on me. He didn't, like, bite my face, but he, like, jumped on me and knocked me down. And my mom screamed like, I.

[Frank]

How did that not ruin dogs for you forever? I feel like if that happens, I.

[Joey]

Mean, if it mauled my face, I'd probably be like, all right, I don't really trust dogs.

[Frank]

Yeah. But I'm saying, like, still, that would, like, terrify you. One of our friend's dogs snapped at me, and, like, I think, like, just grazed me, but, like, it wasn't bad. Who? It was our. Remember, our friend Shane had two dogs. It was like Dolly or Molly or something like that.

[Joey]

What kind of. Were they? Ships?

[Frank]

They were. No, I think they were white and fluffy.

[Joey]

Oh, dude.

[Frank]

They were bigger dogs.

[Joey]

Oh, were they?

[Frank]

Yeah, they weren't small and. Well, maybe. I don't know. Maybe because we were young. So. Yeah, you know, it's possible. But, yeah, I remember they snapped, and I was just like, oh, some little.

[Joey]

White dogs are, bro.

[Frank]

Small dogs, they're kind of dicks. They're. The scariest dog I've ever met in my entire life was a Pomeranian. This thing was. When I say vicious, that would be a good word for it. It was pretty vicious.

[Joey]

I hate when, like, I see videos on the Internet of people's dogs, and they're, like. Like, touching their feet or something, like. And they're, like, showing their teeth, and they're like, oh, this is how he plays. And I'm like, Bro, this dog is.

[Frank]

Going to kill you.

[Joey]

Yeah. Like, it's not normal.

[Frank]

We always forget that animals, like, even domesticated animals are still animals.

[Joey]

If when my dog was a puppy and they're finding out, like, how much they could bite you or whatever the fuck, or sometimes he would, like, snap at you when they're puppies, I would get in this guy's face like a football coach. What are you gonna do, huh?

[Frank]

Do it.

[Joey]

Do it if you're gonna do it. Like, I mean, right in his face.

[Frank]

Shame this dog. And literally, I'm like, I could just.

[Joey]

End it right now if you want to.

[Frank]

What would you do? Seriously. Seriously. If you had a child and Charlie, like, Frankie bit and latched on.

[Joey]

Let me tell you something.

[Frank]

I thought about this. Like, if a dog, like, attacked one of my kids, like, I'm gonna say to Becca, like, take the kids inside. It's gonna get messy out here.

[Joey]

Frank. I would, like. I love my fucking dog. I would kill it with my bare hands.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Joey]

That's what you should snap. It's the.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

I mean, it would depend what it. What happened. Like, if. If, like, a kid walked over and, like, pulled the tail of the dog, like, mad hard and it turned around and, like, bit their hand or something, then, like, I'm not.

[Frank]

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying this out of nowhere. Like, this thing latches on, and no reason. Fuck a reason, dude.

[Joey]

I think that matters.

[Frank]

But, bro, okay, it pulled its tail, but it latched on, and it has its fucking canines in this thing's arm, and it's not letting go.

[Joey]

I mean, you kick it as hard as you can.

[Frank]

But then my point is, like, here I'm murdering that dog.

[Joey]

There's. There's. There's dogs that just snap one day and attack. In that case, like, I'm killing the dog where it lays. But, like, I'm saying if. If a child, like, hurt, like, pulled on a dog's tail or something like that, and there was like, whatever, I'd be less inclined to be like, all right, there's something wrong with this dog. Like, you know, whatever. But some dogs that just snap and they're like, attack.

[Frank]

I can't. Yo, I've seen videos of. It's like dogs just snapping and, like, going after one of the kids.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I can't. I can't even put myself in the mentality of what I would do because it's fucking heartbreaking.

[Francis]

So weird question.

[Frank]

I'm sorry.

[Joey]

Go.

[Francis]

No, the dogs, like, get dementia and stuff. Like, the dogs that snap, like, eventually, are they like, just.

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joey]

I don't know why they do it, but it's does happen for whatever reason. I don't know why. I think that maybe they get territorial and there's a new baby. So it feels like this is a threat to their dynamic. I don't know. But, like, it's definitely happened. And I remember because my. My brother has a dog that, like, has killed, like, rabbits in their backyard. So they were nervous about having a baby because of this dog, he's a husky. So they were just kind of like, dude, do we even, like, take is even worth this risk or whatever. The. But the dog's like, super chill, nice dog. Like, nothing ever happened. But, like, it's a concern because that does happen. Like, especially with dogs. I mean, my dog, the breed is not like, typically, at least I don't think, or like, Charlie's the biggest in the world, by the way. But, like, there are certain breeds that are more susceptible to being like, they could do damage and, like, hurt people and, like, have a tendency to do stuff like that. Or also if they were like, in a pound and have some sort of PTSD or something like that, and something could set them off. It's terrifying, bro. Terrifying. But I've also seen videos of dogs, like, saving kids.

[Frank]

Yeah, I've seen those, and those are nuts. Yeah. Where it's like, there's like a. Like a wild dog runs across the street and this thing, like, runs in and tackles the dog.

[Joey]

That's so crazy.

[Frank]

Yeah, that is cool.

[Joey]

It's so. It's so interesting.

[Frank]

Dude, now we gotta end on this. Should we go back to talking about Hitler?

[Joey]

Probably not. I feel like this is probably better, to be honest with you. Anyway, I think that is all for today, folks. Thank you so much. Like Frank said earlier, go to the basementyard.com get yourself some tickets to our live shows. We are coming very soon to a city near you. And if you're coming to the shows, go to the basement.com, submit and submit some stuff so that we could talk to you during the shows. All right? But that is all, Frank. Where can they find you?

[Frank]

You know, go.

[Joey]

Exactly. And that is all. See you guys next time.

[Frank]

See.