Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard #508 - Turning Into A Vampire

Release Date: June 23, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato (Joey) & Frank Alvarez
Presented by: Santagato Studios

1. Introduction and School Memories

The episode kicks off with Joey and Frank reminiscing about their school days, sharing humorous insights about their experiences and interactions.

• Name Preferences: Frank expresses his dislike for the name "Francis," preferring his full name, "Francisco." When asked if Joey had any alternative names he liked, Joey responds, "None off the top of my head" (00:46).

• "Get Caught Reading" Program: Frank recounts an elementary school program that encouraged reading by announcing students' names over the loudspeaker if they were caught reading, turning it into a raffle for prizes.

  • Frank: "It was like, get caught reading. Go out there and read." (03:09)
  • Joey: "Like, frankie, you're welcome." (03:48)

2. Rare Books and Literary Interests

The conversation shifts to their interest in rare books and libraries.

• Old Bibles and First Editions: Frank shares a TikTok discovery of a library vault showcasing rare books, including the "oldest known Bible" and a "first edition hardcover" of The Hobbit.
  • Frank: "I was like, that's pretty cool, dude." (02:16)

3. Movie Discussions

a. Sinners

Joey and Frank delve into their thoughts on the movie Sinners, particularly focusing on its vampire elements.

• Plot and Spoilers: They discuss how trailers might have spoiled significant plot points, such as a character being a vampire.

  • Frank: "They really, like, spoiled a big part of that movie in the trailers." (19:04)

• Cultural Appropriation Theme: Frank highlights the movie's commentary on cultural appropriation in music.

  • Frank: "A lot of critics have come out and said that it's symbolic of cultural appropriation and the stealing of black culture and music." (19:42)

b. True Blood

Their discussion extends to the TV show True Blood, exploring its portrayal of vampires and their societal roles.

• Vampire Lore: They debate the practicality and consequences of vampirism, touching on immortality, the need for blood, and societal integration.
  • Frank: "If you vamped them, but what if they say no?" (21:57)
  • Joey: "What if you have things? Can I just... drain a little bit out of you." (27:14)

c. Harry Potter

The hosts reflect on Harry Potter, discussing character dynamics and omitted elements.

• Kissing Scenes and Character Ages: They find certain romantic scenes awkward and unrealistic given the characters' ages.
  • Frank: "And they were like, yo, yo, shame drone. And they're like, talking shit to him." (45:00)
  • Joey: "You don't get to be both. They look very white." (46:26)

d. A Series of Unfortunate Events & Batman Returns

Brief mentions of other media, such as A Series of Unfortunate Events and Batman Returns, are made with light-hearted banter.

4. Vampire Lore and Hypothetical Scenarios

Joey and Frank engage in a playful yet philosophical debate about the desirability and implications of becoming vampires.

• Advantages of Vampirism: Joey muses about the allure of immortality and enhanced physical traits.

  • Joey: "And I was like, bro, I feel like I probably would be like, yeah, go for it." (20:20)

• Drawbacks of Vampirism: Frank counters by highlighting the perpetual thirst for blood and the ethical dilemmas it poses.

  • Frank: "And then you have this insatiable thirst for blood. So now you got to go kill other people." (21:13)

• Societal Impact: They discuss the potential overpopulation of vampires and the sustainability of such a lifestyle.

  • Joey: "The world would be very populated with vampires." (21:45)
  • Frank: "Eventually they won't be able to feed." (22:01)

5. Unusual and Banned Names

A significant portion of the episode revolves around discussing unique and banned names, reflecting on societal norms and personal preferences.

• Banned Names List: Frank brings up a list of names that are banned from being given to children, sparking a lively debate.

  • Frank: "One of them is 1069." (51:16)
  • Joey: "I think Jesus Christ is such a good name." (55:57)

• Creative Naming Ideas: They brainstorm unconventional names, often blending humor with critique.

  • Joey: "Soul majesty." (69:00)
  • Frank: "If I were to rename Jesus Christ, I'd name him, like, Max Shrek." (56:25)

• Cultural References: The discussion touches on how media influences naming trends, such as MySpace-era names.

  • Frank: "Like, in the MySpace day, every girl was Bella something." (69:26)

6. Experiences with Aggressive Dogs

The hosts share personal anecdotes about encounters with aggressive dogs, blending humor with genuine concern.

• Joey's Goose Incident: Joey recounts a near-attack by a goose while walking his dog.

  • Joey: "He broke the chain and just, like, jumped on me." (74:28)

• Frank's Swan and Pomeranian Stories: Frank shares experiences with a swan and a particularly vicious Pomeranian.

  • Frank: "The scariest dog I've ever met in my entire life was a Pomeranian. This thing was... pretty vicious." (75:23)

• Defense Mechanisms: They humorously debate how they would handle such attacks.

  • Frank: "If I'm gonna get attacked by a dog, I'd prefer it has balls because then I got something to hit." (64:05)

7. Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, Joey and Frank pivot back to promotional content, encouraging listeners to attend live shows and engage with them online.

• Live Shows Promotion: They announce upcoming live events and invite listeners to participate.

  • Frank: "We're doing live shows again, babies." (39:52)

• Audience Interaction: Encouragement for listeners to submit questions and stories for future discussions.

  • Frank: "If you go to the basementyard.com submit, you'll be able to answer some questions." (39:54)

• Final Banter: The hosts wrap up with light-hearted conversation, maintaining their signature humorous tone.

  • Joey: "What makes us good as a duo is we hold each other to high standards." (50:43)
  • Frank: "We could pee on it. Bury it." (73:55)

Notable Quotes

• Joey on Vampires: "Can I kill animals? Can I... eat animals? Because that doesn't really change." (21:18)
• Frank on Immortality: "What makes milk so delicious is that it will go bad eventually." (30:41)
• Joey on Name Preferences: "No, I think you can't just keep killing people. I have blood bags." (32:07)
• Frank on Banned Names: "1069. Yeah. I don't... What's that?" (51:26)
• Joey on Aggressive Dogs: "I hate when, like, I see videos on the Internet of people's dogs..." (75:48)

Conclusion

Episode #508 of The Basement Yard presents a blend of nostalgic reminiscences, engaging discussions on pop culture and mythical lore, and humorous debates on unconventional topics like banned names and aggressive dogs. Joey and Frank maintain their chemistry throughout, offering listeners both laughs and thoughtful ponderings on immortality and societal norms.

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been excluded from this summary as per the provided guidelines.

Timestamp References:

• 00:46
• 03:09
• 02:16
• 19:04
• 19:42
• 21:13
• 21:45
• 22:01
• 50:43
• 51:16
• 55:57
• 56:25
• 69:00
• 69:26
• 74:28
• 75:23
• 64:05
• 39:52
• 39:54
• 73:55
• 75:48

Links to specific timestamps are for reference purposes and may not be clickable in all formats.