#513 - Caught In 4k

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard Episode #513 – "Caught In 4k"

Release Date: July 28, 2025

Hosts:

• Joe Santagato
• Frank Alvarez
• Greg

---

1. Opening Banter and Personal Updates

The episode kicks off with Joe and Frank engaging in light-hearted banter about forced smiles, likening Frank's attempt to emulate Mr. Beast's cheerful demeanor during photo day. This segues into a discussion about authenticity in expressions.

• Frank Alvarez [00:12]:
  “I'm trying to do, like, the Mr. Beast-like smile and appear happy, but there's nothing going on. The eyes are dead.”

Joe then shares a personal update about being under the weather, attributing his condition to overuse of Dayquil and NyQuil.

• Joe Santagato [00:34]:
  “I'm very sick, so for the people who are listening, who are like, yo, you sound like shit. I am a little sick. I am a little under the weather.”

---

2. Business Idea: Premixed Cough Syrup Cocktails

Frank introduces a quirky business idea centered around creating premixed non-alcoholic cocktails using over-the-counter medications like NyQuil and Dayquil. The concept aims to make medicine more palatable by blending it with flavors like Sprite and Jolly Ranchers.

• Frank Alvarez [03:00]:
  “We're going to go on this at the ground floor. 50%, and you could be in 30%.”

Joe expresses skepticism about the idea, highlighting the potential health risks.

• Joe Santagato [03:00]:
  “This green one didn’t taste bad. It was kind of like a toothpaste oil type of thing.”

Frank remains optimistic, suggesting that turning unpleasant-tasting liquids into enjoyable drinks aligns with current trends in premixed beverages.

• Frank Alvarez [03:35]:
  “Make it into like a more... because those liquids could be a little tough to drink.”

---

3. Sleep Disruptions and Remedies

The conversation shifts to sleep issues, with both hosts sharing their struggles. Joe discusses his reliance on NyQuil and mentions having vivid dreams, while Frank talks about difficulty staying asleep despite various sleep aids.

• Frank Alvarez [07:00]:
  “I can fall asleep anywhere almost any time. But my issue is staying asleep.”

Joe elaborates on his sleep patterns, noting that despite tracking his movements with an app, he doesn’t remember moving in his sleep.

• Joe Santagato [09:21]:
  “But I don’t remember moving at all.”

---

4. Frank’s Panic Button and Personal Safety

Frank introduces his personal safety system—a panic button that alerts authorities in case of emergencies. He shares anecdotes about his grandmother’s frequent use of life alert systems and the potential for accidental activations.

• Frank Alvarez [10:20]:
  “I have a panic button. It's literally a little remote, and there's one red button on it, hidden somewhere in my room.”

Joe questions the practicality and risks associated with accidentally triggering the alarm, to which Frank emphasizes the importance of preparedness.

• Joe Santagato [13:05]:
  “They have to be legal things behind, like falsely calling the authorities.”

---

5. Patreon and Live Shows Promotion

Frank and Joe discuss their Patreon platform, encouraging listeners to support the podcast for exclusive content and early access to episodes. They also highlight their live shows, mentioning recent performances and upcoming tours in Las Vegas and Hollywood, Florida.

• Frank Alvarez [37:20]:
  “Patreon.com/thebasementyard is the hub where we like to hang out... You get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning.”

• Joe Santagato [38:27]:
  “You can check out the basementyard.com to get your tickets to our upcoming shows.”

---

6. Main Topic: "Caught In 4k" – Coldplay Concert Incident

The centerpiece of the episode revolves around a viral video titled "Caught In 4k," captured at a Coldplay concert. The video allegedly shows two audience members, presumed to be the CEO and Head of HR of a company, caught in a compromising situation, possibly an affair. The hosts delve into the implications of such public exposure, discussing privacy concerns, potential legal repercussions, and the impact on their professional lives.

• Frank Alvarez [40:35]:
  “If someone likes Coldplay, you're gay... I'm gay as shit.”

• Joe Santagato [42:01]:
  “Because the color mix is very intense... It was like, that was so intense.”

They debate whether the incident warrants legal action against Coldplay's production team, considering the public nature of concerts and the presence of security measures.

• Frank Alvarez [44:02]:
  “Do you think Coldplay's production team is open to a lawsuit if this dude's wife leaves him and he decides he wants to sue them?”

• Joe Santagato [44:24]:
  “I don't think so. I think that, like, I assume...”

---

7. Niche Discussion: Disney Adults Dating App

Frank brings up a recent development of a dating app tailored for Disney enthusiasts. The hosts explore the feasibility and potential user base of such a niche platform, humorously brainstorming possible features and the unique dynamics it might entail.

• Frank Alvarez [49:54]:
  “There's reportedly a new dating app for Disney adults.”

• Joe Santagato [57:00]:
  “A dating app for Disney adults... That might be more than that.”

They discuss the challenges of creating a successful niche dating app, considering the specific lifestyle and interests of Disney fans.

• Frank Alvarez [52:52]:
  “If there's an app, it's gonna become people exchanging those pins...”

---

8. Fast Food Face-Off: Favorites and Health Implications

The latter part of the episode is dedicated to an extensive discussion on fast food items, ranking them based on healthiness and personal preference. The hosts passionately debate iconic items like McDonald's fries, Whopper, Big Mac, and newer entries like Crunchwrap Supreme, sharing their love for certain foods while critiquing others.

• Joe Santagato [71:12]:
  “The McGriddle is the single best item McDonald's has.”

• Frank Alvarez [78:00]:
  “If we're counting that, it's got to be for me...”

They emphasize McDonald's fries as an iconic and highly favored fast food item, comparing them to legendary status in the fast food industry.

• Joe Santagato [73:07]:
  “I think that McDonald's fries are like the guy. If there was a players association, they'd be president.”

The conversation covers various chains, discussing the quality and iconic status of their offerings, while also touching upon fast food mascots and branding.

---

9. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Shows

The episode wraps up with reminders about supporting their Patreon, attending live shows, and engaging with the podcast community through their website.

• Joe Santagato [93:46]:
  “Hope you enjoyed this episode of the Basement Yard... Go to the basementyard.com for tickets to our upcoming shows.”

• Frank Alvarez [94:26]:
  “Patreon.com/thebasementyard... We love you guys. We thank you guys and we'll see you next week.”

---

Notable Quotes:

• Joe Santagato [00:31]:
  “I'm very sick, so for the people who are listening, who are like, yo, you sound like shit.”

• Frank Alvarez [03:00]:
  “We're going to go on this at the ground floor. 50%, and you could be in 30%.”

• Frank Alvarez [44:02]:
  “Do you think Coldplay's production team is open to a lawsuit if this dude's wife leaves him and he decides he wants to sue them?”

• Joe Santagato [71:12]:
  “The McGriddle is the single best item McDonald's has.”

---

Conclusion:
In this episode of The Basement Yard, Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez navigate a blend of personal anecdotes, unconventional business ideas, and intense discussions on privacy and fast food culture. The highlight revolves around a controversial incident at a Coldplay concert, prompting reflections on public exposure and personal accountability. Alongside, their passion for fast food and its cultural impact provides an engaging and relatable thread throughout the conversation.

---

For more episodes and to support the show, visit thebasementyard.com and join their Patreon. Upcoming live shows are available for tickets at thebasementyard.com.

Transcript

[Joe Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. There's Frank cheesing like a third grader on photo day.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm trying. I'm trying to do, like, the Mr. Beast. Like, smile and appear happy, but, like, there's nothing going on. The eyes are dead. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like, can. Can you smile because you smile. Yeah, but, like, your eyes smile with you. You smize. You got a smile. No eyes.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's what I'm doing now.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you're still smiling, though. You actually just did, like, a. Like, you raise your eyebrow.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, now it's difficult. I'm very sick, so for the people who are listening, who are like, yo, you sound like shit. I am a little sick. I'm a little under the web. And I drank a bunch of Dayquil today, so that's probably why. Had some nyquil last night that put you down like a dead fucking old dog. Slept really well, had weird dreams.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dead old dog.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Weird dream. Your dreams at a baseline are weird.

[Joe Santagato]

For the most part, I sleep pretty well.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are your NyQuil dreams just, like.

[Joe Santagato]

They're deep, dude. I guess that's where the idea of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fever dream comes from, huh? Maybe when people say, like, oh, that was a fever dream, like, it's just so fucking crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think I had a fever. I'm just, like, congested. But I did have a very full cap of the. Of the NyQuil, the green flavor.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

Which is actually not the worst in the world. I've had other.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't there, like, a. Like, a purple. Like a dark purple one that just, like, puts you on your h. Probably.

[Joe Santagato]

I'd rather that one, this green one didn't taste bad. It was kind of like, like a toothpaste oil type of thing. I've had an orange one. The Dayquil is orange. That is dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I. I dog. It's not. If it comes in. Remember those orange, like, prescription B.O.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it comes in that, chances are it's not gonna taste yummy.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, it doesn't. Like, the actual liquid is that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but they have certain bottles that are like. The bottle color is orange.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I haven't had that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so you're. You're high as a kite right now.

[Joe Santagato]

Not high. I mean, it's just a little Dayquil.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't that what people use to make, like, lean or sizer?

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not familiar with the recipe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or is that a robitussin? What's the Difference? I'm not quite sure.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sure there's very different things.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't imagine mixing like cough syrup into and out like a drink and like drinking it.

[Joe Santagato]

I will say this. I don't condone people drinking Lean at all. But it looks delicious. I mean, I mean, it looks delicious. It does look delicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like cough syrup, Sprite, and like Jolly Ranchers in there. Which, honestly, you kind of got me on board with.

[Joe Santagato]

That's what I'm saying. Like, it doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world. Although I didn't have any of that. I don't know. I don't want to. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what, though?

[Joe Santagato]

I took the regular amount that you're supposed to take.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what, though? I got a business idea for you, actually, for us. We're going to go on this at the ground floor. 50.

[Joe Santagato]

50.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you could be in 30%.

[Greg]

Oh, yeah, I'll take 30%.

[Joe Santagato]

Something tells me I'm not going to be in this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you need to help. We're going to be in this together. You should start a line because now pre mixed cocktails is the big thing. You go to a liquor store and there's pre, you know, pre made, pre canned made. Rum and Cokes or mojitos or margaritas. Let's start a line. But it's like Dayquil, Nyquil cough syrup. So it's just like a nice, like little fun way that you can like get your medicine in.

[Joe Santagato]

I think you're describing what the product is. It's a liquid.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, but like make it into like a more. Because those liquids could be a little tough to drink. Like some people, like, they taste like dog shit.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I'd rather be over in like a quick shot than like enjoy a whole drink.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, if you could listen, it's the year of our Lord 2025. People are becoming more and more creative with their, their cocktail skills.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, you want to make it an alcoholic drink?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, no. It would be non alcoholic, but it would be like Nyquil branded spritz.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You know, this is horrendous idea. Really bad. Can you imagine taking that stuff, stuff that tastes so bad and just like spreading it out over the course of a go.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like you can mix it with like, you know, like a Sprite. If Sprite would be on board. Sprite. If you're listening, which I have a feeling you might be, I feel like.

[Joe Santagato]

Your idea is falling apart at the seams here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think so. I think this is a great idea. I think it's one of my stronger ideas.

[Joe Santagato]

I know that you think that, but, like, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's all the craze right now.

[Joe Santagato]

Let it go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you, like, on the bottle, does it say, only take, like, three times a day or something like that?

[Joe Santagato]

It says. Well, you know, it's funny, actually, this morning, it was, like, basically torture what I did. I. Because I took nyquil last night, and then I woke up and I felt, like, a lot better than I did the day before. I also got an IV yesterday. No big deal. Just my thing now. And I woke up, and as I was getting ready, I was like, all right, I'm gonna take some dayquil. So I put it. I, like, filled up a cap and I drank it, but I kept it in my mouth because I thought, oh, how often are you supposed to take this shit? Mm. So then I went on my phone, and I was googling while it was still in my mouth, and it's fucking disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And I was just, like, looking it.

[Joe Santagato]

Up, but apparently you can take it like. Like, you could put. Take, like, two ounces or whatever the fuck it is for every four to six hours. So I was like, oh, I'm chilling.

[Frank Alvarez]

You should do an experiment.

[Joe Santagato]

All right. More ideas.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is. It's just as good as my old idea might honestly be even better. An experiment. Take a bunch, not a bunch. Take a standard dosage of nyquil, by the way, don't do this. Anyone that's listening. And then also chase it down with, like, a Red Bull and see what kicks in first.

[Joe Santagato]

See what kicks in? I mean, I think that defeats the purpose of the entire thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think they'll just negate each other?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I mean, I think that it probably. You shouldn't do that, and I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you shouldn't. I. I. Yeah. I'm no cardiologist.

[Joe Santagato]

What's the. What do you want to get out of this?

[Frank Alvarez]

Just see what happens. You don't run experiments in your life just to see, like, what's going to happen.

[Joe Santagato]

Not with my health.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, me neither.

[Joe Santagato]

I like.

[Greg]

I like taking the extra strength Nyquil and just seeing how long I could wake stay up. And it feels like you're melting into your.

[Joe Santagato]

I can beat NyQuil. Like, I for sure can beat NyQuil. Like, without a doubt. It's just when you give in to the sleep, it's hard. Like, it doesn't really put me to sleep as much as it. Like, it steps on my head when I'm Really? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it. It puts you to, like, I sleep. Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It's nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

I w. I might need to start. I should probably shouldn't.

[Joe Santagato]

Nope. You haven't had a good idea since we started this episode. Here's what I should do.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Start taking. I mean, they've made, like, Zquil, which is basically just a sleep aid. It's not like they don't have, like, any, like, they have that chemicals or medicines in it and stuff like that. I know people that take it and they con. Card. I mean, I think Mikey is one of the people that, like, he said he's taking it.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not a big, like, you know, supplement person like that. Neither am I. I don't. I don't really do any of that. I rarely take even Advil and Tylenol. If I have a headache for a day, I'll just, like, let it rock for the most part.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Ever since I learned that, like, most headaches can be cured just by drinking a ton of water, I've stopped. But, like, there was a time where, like, I would take, like, every other day, I would take Advil.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I'm only quilling because we have a show tomorrow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

So I'm like. I gotta, like, speed this up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm not. I'm not like, I. It. It takes a lot for me. I could fall asleep anywhere almost any time. But my issue is staying asleep. So, like, NyQuil and like, ZQuil and like, gummies. Of what? Melatonin. They're not gonna do much for me because I can fall asleep to staying asleep. That's a problem.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I think all that stuff is supposed to help you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know it's supposed to do. I'm telling you what it doesn't do.

[Joe Santagato]

You're. You're. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't know. I just. I just.

[Joe Santagato]

How many times do you wake up every night?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's not like I wake up. I'm. But like, I toss and turn, and while I'm tossing, I'm turning. I'm aware that I am awake. Awake, you know? Like, it's not like I'm like, is.

[Joe Santagato]

It a long time, though, that it takes you a long time to go back to sleep?

[Frank Alvarez]

Not particularly. But, like, I can't tell you the last time. Also, I have kids, but that even with the kids sleeping through the night, I can't tell you the last time I had, like, a full night of sleep and woken up in the morning. Be like, holy shit, it's the morning.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow. Yeah, that's bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Not great.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's really just not great.

[Frank Alvarez]

And like, it's crazy because, like, when we'll be on tour, the idea is like, oh, like, get a great night of sleep. Doesn't happen for me.

[Joe Santagato]

How often are you waking up, do you think?

[Frank Alvarez]

At least three times. But, like, again, it's not like a I'm awake. It's like a. I roll over. But my. But I know that I'm rolling over. Like, I'm consciously doing it. It's not like it's awake.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's not like I'm not, like, fully awake, though. Like, that's the thing. There's like a. There's like a twilight in the. In between.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And, you know, that sucks. The burden I must bear.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like people. I toss and turn. It's. I have a app that tells me when I'm, like, moving or, like, snoring or something like that. It'll, like, tell me so I can track all that stuff. So, like, I can hear on that thing, like, movement. Like, it'll say movement. And I can hear myself moving. But I don't remember that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Like, I don't remember moving at all.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I sound like I sleep and.

[Joe Santagato]

I just, like, don't move. Like, definitely move.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember I'm also like. I'll hear something in the house and I'll be like, huh, what is that?

[Joe Santagato]

Who goes there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Basically.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you have a weapon?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I got these right here. These bad boys.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do have a panic button.

[Joe Santagato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

I have a panic button.

[Joe Santagato]

What's that? I mean, I know what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, there you go then. You answered your own question.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I know that your house isn't what I'm thinking it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't have a panic room.

[Joe Santagato]

Is a bank.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I have a button that if I press it, it immediately alerts the authorities that, like, there was panic about panic.

[Joe Santagato]

Is this something you bought?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

How does it work?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's literally. It looks like it's like life alert. Sure. My grandmother used to have life alert. So you have life alert, but it's not life alert. It's through a sponsor of the show. Oh, yeah. What's up? I'm a big.

[Joe Santagato]

They have a panic button?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell yeah, they do.

[Joe Santagato]

So what does it look like?

[Frank Alvarez]

It literally looks like a little remote. And there's one button on it.

[Joe Santagato]

And.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's red. And it's a red button. And it's hidden somewhere in my room.

[Joe Santagato]

Uhhuh.

[Frank Alvarez]

So shall I Need to panic. Panic. I will.

[Joe Santagato]

Did you. Have you ever pressed it?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Greg]

Does it have a glass case?

[Frank Alvarez]

It does not have a glass case.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it just out and about?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's hidden?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I mean like, like the kids.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can find it and they can press it.

[Joe Santagato]

Right, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

But let's hope that doesn't happen. Got it. But like my grandmother had life alert and she used to press that shit.

[Joe Santagato]

Regularly and they would just pull up.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I've told this story. My grandmother had it, but it was on one of those like beaded chains, you know, you like the metal beaded chains that you like, you know, like put on the sides of the clasp. And she would regularly clean it.

[Joe Santagato]

She would press it a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

So she would press it and, and, and there was a box like, wait.

[Joe Santagato]

Why is she cleaning a necklace?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like a plastic button on a necklace and she would get food or something out. I don't know. She didn't know what she was doing. You expect me to know?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

But she would clean it and then there was a box in our. In our dining room and it was like a. When she would press it, they would call through the box. It was like lined in with the phone.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You good? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Literally, we. There was one time when, where she did it and I was so annoyed because she was upstairs, I was in the living room and I just hear. And it always sounds like whoever is calling is like mid transportation to our house. Like, it's like windows down. Like, are you kidding me? We're on our way.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And she was upstairs and I was like, yaya. You pressed it again. And she was like, what? She couldn't hear me. So I was frustrated. So I'm yelling over to this box. I'm like, she's fine. She's completely fine. And they were just like, okay.

[Joe Santagato]

It's kind of like the boy who cried wolf though, because what if your grandma was up there and she really like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think, yeah, I think that they knew my grandmother though, and they knew that it was.

[Joe Santagato]

She was pressing the thing that for.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those situations, like, just respond to every single situation.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you think you could accidentally press this button?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

You should test it out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably should.

[Joe Santagato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. See if it works.

[Greg]

See the response time.

[Frank Alvarez]

I should just like. I mean, I'm sure. I think there are like legal things behind, like falsely calling the authorities.

[Joe Santagato]

Lie. Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I. I don't like that. I don't like lying. I'm not like, oh, I Thought, I'm not gonna do it. I'm sure there's a test mode. Maybe I'll test mode it out.

[Joe Santagato]

How would you test other than knowing that they.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, like simply say if this is a pure.

[Joe Santagato]

If you call them and be like, yo, I'm about to hit.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could put. No, you could put your system in test mode. So, like, you can test, like, if you let the alarm go off, what it sounds like, I got like an extra loud. It's like 105 decibel alarm.

[Joe Santagato]

Just. Just in case anyone breaks into his house, the entire family goes deaf.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's a. That's a huge deterrent. A loud alarm.

[Joe Santagato]

Rather be dead than alive or. Death and alive. Yes, death and alive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Greg]

And they know exactly which room it's coming from now. And you are.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's fine. If someone does break in, I'd rather them come straight to my room than to anyone else's fucking room. Yeah, it's a fair point, but it's. I'll put it in test mode and see what happens.

[Joe Santagato]

We're gonna figure this out. We're gonna mythbust this thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

But no idea right now. I don't have a weapon, but I have several lined up for me.

[Joe Santagato]

Anybody know what that means? Anyone? I have several lined up for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Like, I mean, I just need to get my. My registration, and I have been told that I will be gifted several guns.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God. Dude. Making the transition to conservative is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, hold on. I'm not going, like, full AR16.

[Joe Santagato]

There it is. You know, transition is nearly complete. I have weapons.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've been told, are they cool or.

[Joe Santagato]

Are they like old hunting?

[Frank Alvarez]

Pretty cool ones. Yeah, it's a pretty cool ones, I think, don't. I think one of them. I think one of them is a shotgun.

[Joe Santagato]

That's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I'm just trying to scare a burglar. I'm not trying to, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, what scares a burglar more than a fucking get out?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but if you had to shoot that thing, it's like, I could see now we're talking about redoing the entire.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be the one at the top of the stairs that, like, I hear a burglar downstairs and I just cock it and go, you got a minute to get out.

[Joe Santagato]

You got a minute to get out. And the guy's like, fuck you. And Frank puts a. He's like, I'm giving you a warning shot. Takes out his fucking roof.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would be something.

[Joe Santagato]

What, a shotgun? Yeah. Dude, imagine shotgunning a person. Disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I wouldn't be pumped about that. I wouldn't feel good about it.

[Joe Santagato]

Brand new house.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would be the one that, like in these movies where I'm like holding the gun to them and I was like, come on, leave. Don't you make, don't make me do it.

[Greg]

Which would scare me more, honestly. What if he's freaking out like that?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. If you like break into someone's house and they have a gun out and they're crying, I'd be like, oh, my God, so dead.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh my God. I just realized I have like a really high powered flashlight that has a strobe effect on it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I gotta keep that with it, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Absolutely.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I gotta tape it to the top. I gotta do the, I gotta do the tape and I got to have it strobing. So if I find it like, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, what the fuck is happening?

[Frank Alvarez]

This is, you know, honestly, we're starting to dip into the toes of like, conservative world right now. So like, maybe like the show is going to, we're going to be like, I know how much you want to become like conservative podcast of the year.

[Joe Santagato]

I love how you're trying to flip this on me. It was a good attempt.

[Frank Alvarez]

But no, I, I, I stand by.

[Joe Santagato]

You want to be a cop.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've always stood by.

[Joe Santagato]

What are you doing down there?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a cool way to hold it.

[Joe Santagato]

Get out of my fucking kitchen.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I want to like.

[Joe Santagato]

Is everyone's rooms on the second floor? Yeah. I don't want to talk about the layout of your home. Actually, I will say when you just said high powered flashlight and then the strobe effect, I'm like, that might be the most effective, like, way to like or someone. Because if I'm getting hit with a giant strobe, I'm my entire. I'm useless, dude. I can't see.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you remember as kids going to like school dances and they had a strobe and it was just like, what.

[Joe Santagato]

The, where the am I?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, because it's like your hands here and then it's there. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And you're, you're. And like the reason why I love the strobe when I was younger is because I look like such a good dancer in Australia.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

I looked like such a good dancer because, like, I can like move a little, but in a strobe. I'm like Michael Jackson, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, it's like I remember when strobe effects would come on at like our elementary school dances. Which, by the way, we also are not sensitive to strobing effects, which is very. We're very lucky because there are people that are very, very sensitive to that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, they got that lapse.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, the epilepse, not the leprosy. I don't know if they're sensitive to just like. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Boiling it down to the leps. But, like, I remember, like, I felt like I was 8 years old and I was like, hat away. Like, I was at, like, a. A rave in Manhattan. Just like, what is love? Love, baby, don't hurt, man. It's like, bing, ding, ding, ding, bing, bing, bing, bing.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow. I feel like I'm there. Yeah. I love a good strobe, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, what? I wish. I know we could do them at our shows. Do we do them at our shows? Now that I think about it. Do we?

[Joe Santagato]

Sometimes they're strobe. When we walk out, they do strobe, but, like, it doesn't hit as hard as, like, an actual strobe.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is the difference between, like, the strobing effect? Is it, like a specific light? Like, a strobe light is very unique.

[Joe Santagato]

I think it's just the intensity of the, like. Obviously it's like, on and off type of thing, but I think it's the intensity of the light.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's get a strobe in here, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

And, like, the speed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Obviously, let's get a strobe in here. And just.

[Joe Santagato]

What are we going to do with a strobe dance?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, we're in a 90s, like, Europop fucking music video.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I don't know how long I would last in a strobe. I, like, I think you should only probably strobe for, like, 10 seconds. Anything more than that is crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's make a deal. You buy a strobe light for the studio, I'll put together the best dance playlist you've ever heard in your entire life.

[Joe Santagato]

Frank, we both know this isn't gonna happen. Like, I'm not. I'm not buying a strobe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Boy could dream, you know?

[Joe Santagato]

Your dream is for a strobe light.

[Frank Alvarez]

My dream is for. Honestly. Honestly, right now, it's a little bit of a strobe light. You remember that there was the Pokemon episode that got banned because of the strobe light.

[Joe Santagato]

No, you didn't hear about this. There was a strobe light in Pokemon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So the very first season, there was the episode that had the Pokemon Porygon in it. Mirror Porygon.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah. The, like, bunch of shapes yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It. The episode itself had a strobing effect. I think it was like, when, like, Porygon and Pikachu, like, use their moves at the same time. And several hundred kids across Japan had epileptic seizures. Seizures or maybe seizures. Yes. As a result. And they pulled the episode forever. And it's like a lost piece of content.

[Greg]

We wouldn't be able to pull it up because of, like, it causes epilepsy. But whatever you're imagining, it's eight times worse. It's so intensely bad.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you've seen it.

[Greg]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could see clips of it. I mean, we could pull it up for us. We would never put it on, you know, God forbid. But, like, it was like, that intense that, like, since then. And unless I'm mistaken, I don't think the Pokemon Porygon has appeared in an episode since.

[Greg]

Oh, I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

I could be wrong.

[Greg]

Too deep for me.

[Joe Santagato]

Deeper cut.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could be.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't work for the Company, but.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, that's crazy, you know?

[Joe Santagato]

Have you seen it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pull it up? Try to pull it up.

[Joe Santagato]

Why do you say it so bad?

[Frank Alvarez]

It is because the color mix is, like, very intense.

[Joe Santagato]

And it's like, obviously, like, yo, you're.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. And bro. And it's on a 90s CR TV, like, that are smaller and, like, kids are sitting this close to it, you know, because they're watching Pokemon to begin with.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it was. It was. I never saw the actual episode, but, like, afterward, I've seen, like, the clips of it and stuff like that.

[Greg]

Yeah, I can. I can show you. It's so intense, but, I mean, we won't pop it up, I guess, but.

[Joe Santagato]

Because I feel like I've seen some shows where it'll say, like, there might be some strobe in this or whatever. Like. Yeah, so I still do it, but they just have to warn people that it's a thing.

[Greg]

It's only. It's only 10 seconds. Like 12 seconds. But just. Just watch this.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, Yep. Gonna have to lower that for sure. Oh, yeah. That's not great.

[Greg]

It's just like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Greg]

This whole. Like, this is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

The whole screen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And it's. And I don't. I'm not a math scientist. I mean, definitely not a mat side.

[Joe Santagato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not a color scientist, but, like, I know that there are colors that are more triggering for people. Like, in terms of, like, you know, with epilepsy, that seems like it is a cocktail of not.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that'll do it, I think.

[Greg]

Yeah, it's just a full screen of flashing color. Like, there's no, like, subject matter.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, there's nothing there except. What is there?

[Frank Alvarez]

So you had nightmares?

[Joe Santagato]

I did have nightmares. Well, not that I had nightmares. I just had deep, deep, deep sleep dreams.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you hear the report? Do you have any cheese yesterday?

[Joe Santagato]

Cheese? Yeah, did you have any cheese yesterday?

[Frank Alvarez]

I have any cheese yesterday?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, there's a. I just saw this the other day. That's strange that it popped up. There's reportedly a new study that shows that certain types of cheese can give you, like, intense nightmares.

[Joe Santagato]

Cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cheese, baby. I mean, Greg, we know any cheese gives Greg nightmares.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. I mean. Wait, like, specific cheese? Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I'm pulling them up now. So there are some that are more, like.

[Joe Santagato]

You're more prone to nightmares.

[Frank Alvarez]

More prone. I think Brie was one of them. Like, just, like, the creamier cheeses that.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never had a cheesy nightmare in my life. I don't really. I don't have a lot of nightmares.

[Frank Alvarez]

When's the.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, my last nightmare? I mean, I've had, like, weird stuff. I just told you. I had that dream where I was, like, balding and had pimples in my fucking bald spots and shit. I don't know if I would call that a nightmare. A nightmare is, like, I wake up and I'm like, holy fuck. Like, people were getting shot or shooting.

[Frank Alvarez]

I always have, like, creepy face nightmares.

[Joe Santagato]

Creepy face?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, creepy face. Like exorcist face. Not always.

[Joe Santagato]

You have the face.

[Frank Alvarez]

When I have a nightmare, that's mostly what it is.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, your face is like that or so.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. Like, I'll be like. I'll look in the mirror and I'll.

[Joe Santagato]

See, like, you know, a face.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, exorcist face. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a spooky one.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was like, the ultimate, like, jump scare, like, back in, like, the days of, like, funny junk dot com.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, the medicine cabinet?

[Frank Alvarez]

Medicine. Oh, like, they'd close it and.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, they'd be like, fine. Oh, and they close it, like, oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right behind me. Well, the one that was very famous was the one that was, like the drive through, like, the hills of, like, the Netherlands. And then the zombie, like, popped up or hated that. So that was a tough one.

[Joe Santagato]

Made me Yelp.

[Frank Alvarez]

The maze game. The maze game was a big one. I remember that they had all of those.

[Joe Santagato]

Back then, I didn't like that at all.

[Frank Alvarez]

But if. If I were to tell you that cheese can. If this study is legit, would you stop eating cheese?

[Joe Santagato]

No. What are you insane?

[Frank Alvarez]

I just want to make sure. I know. I know.

[Joe Santagato]

You tell me so much worse things in the world, and I would still eat the cheese. Nightmares. It's all right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you give up? What's the first cheese you. You'd be willing to give up? Like, it's like, you're cool with cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

Cheeses I don't even, like, really. I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think I've had a cheese I don't like. Oh, that's not true.

[Joe Santagato]

Cottage cod cheese is not horrific, but, like, for me, it is. I mean, I wouldn't eat just, like. I wouldn't just raw dog, some cottage cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

People do that.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I know, but, like, I wouldn't do that. I don't even know. I don't know cheese that well. Like, I know cheese, but, like, not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you're not like, boys with cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, the last thing I'm giving up is that parmesan.

[Frank Alvarez]

Parmes.

[Joe Santagato]

Mozzarella.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mozzies.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo. American cheese. I'm good, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

Technically, it's not even cheese, but I like American cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's the perfect. I learned from that movie, the menu. It's the perfect cheese for a burger because it doesn't split. It stays gooey.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I'm cool on American cheese. I don't need it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, we probably. You're better than I am. We probably shouldn't be having it.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't need Swiss cheese either. I'm good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm pretty good with Swiss cheese. You're right over there.

[Greg]

Hurt a little.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you at least impressed that I got up that high for that long?

[Joe Santagato]

I almost felt, like, impressed that I could hear that, because you know how, like, you get to a certain age where you probably can't hear that anymore? That decibel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They have those things, those tests where it's like, only under 30 can hear this pin.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, it's crazy, because something like that I don't even really believe in, but I know that it's real.

[Frank Alvarez]

So. All right. You're not giving up any type of cheese. You'll give up American and Swiss.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, if someone told me every time you eat cheese, you're gonna have a nightmare, it would not affect my.

[Frank Alvarez]

Life at all if someone said, you have to give up five cheeses, but. But you'll Never have a nightmare ever again. You'll take the nightmares.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I'm sure there's five cheeses that I haven't even had.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I'm. I'm.

[Joe Santagato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying, like, you know some, like. No, I'm not giving up five cheeses. You're not giving up five cheeses.

[Joe Santagato]

I probably know seven.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know more than seven cheeses, Joe? You could probably go ten, bro. You just named two four. You just.

[Joe Santagato]

American cheese, Swiss cheese. I could give up brie, I guess.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said mozzarella. You said parmesan, so there's five right there, baby. You know? At least five more cheeses.

[Joe Santagato]

Cheddar bang. Does Jack add anything? Yeah, Jack, but like, Jack cheddar is.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I think Jack is its own thing.

[Joe Santagato]

I thought Jack was like. It's just cheddar cheese with shit in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's different type.

[Joe Santagato]

All right. I love that cheese, Jack. It's a good guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good. Good guy. Good cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

What's nacho cheese? Fake, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

But we'll put it in there.

[Joe Santagato]

I could give that up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that I'm fine with giving up, too. But I do love my pretzel bites. Oh, I'm a whore for some pretzel bites.

[Joe Santagato]

That cheese is so nasty. That, like. I'm good. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not pumped about that.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm good on that. Oh, I can't do it. It's disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love. I love cheeses. I'm cool with cheeses.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think it's ever given me nightmares, though. This might be.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is there other food that gives you nightmares? Can we look that up real quick?

[Joe Santagato]

Yes, I have.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you have?

[Greg]

I have some here. Cheese is number one.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's crazy.

[Greg]

It says, avoid four cheese pizza right before bed.

[Joe Santagato]

That's like, well, four cheese pizza. Does anyone even sell that anymore?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think so. Probably.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I've seen, like, microwavable cheeses that are.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, listen, I think it's probably a good idea to avoid a meal like that right before bed, period. Like a heavy, heavy meal like that.

[Greg]

That's probably true. Number two, it says hot sauce.

[Joe Santagato]

Hot sauce.

[Frank Alvarez]

Interesting.

[Joe Santagato]

Peppies, peppers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Interesting. Why?

[Greg]

It's more difficult for the digestive system to process, and it just messes up your body at night. Your body's doing too much.

[Joe Santagato]

These are causing nightmares, though.

[Greg]

Apparently.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess. I mean, I can't even tell you when I've ever had hot sauce.

[Joe Santagato]

Who the fuck is having hot sauce and going to sleep?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, who's having four cheese pizza? Sleep?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I Mean that I feel like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it's probably happened like people are drunk or high and do it.

[Greg]

But for sure number three is chocolate.

[Joe Santagato]

I actually have heard that before that chocolate causes nightmares.

[Frank Alvarez]

Another thing I'm not really having before bed.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, no, Well, I don't think it's.

[Greg]

Like right before like you take a bite of chocolate.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm saying within. It has to be within a clocked hour before.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I mean, I guess that makes sense. Like people have like chocolate as like a dessert or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why? Well, like hotels put chocolate on your pillow. What the is that?

[Joe Santagato]

It's never good chocolate either.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like dog chocolate.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like a dark chocolate mint. Also the chocolate they give you on planes. Disgusting. It's disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he's not wrong.

[Joe Santagato]

Although on the flight home from where the were we?

[Frank Alvarez]

San Francisco.

[Joe Santagato]

San Francisco. The flight attendant had very warm chocolate chip cookies. My God. Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I might, I might need a.

[Joe Santagato]

They were fantastic.

[Frank Alvarez]

I need a start.

[Greg]

Another one is spicy curry.

[Joe Santagato]

Spicy curry.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it sounds like anything that could just be gumming up the works. Cheeses, hot sauces.

[Joe Santagato]

So spicy stuff. I guess. Yeah, anything that's.

[Greg]

That doesn't seem to be the easiest to digest. It just makes your body do too much and the lack the worst sleep makes you have just rattle them off.

[Joe Santagato]

What do you got?

[Greg]

I got pasta, ice cream, milk, bread, chips.

[Joe Santagato]

So every fucking thing in the world. Jesus.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like everything that's crazy because I have. I have been known to have a pre bed sandwich and wait, what?

[Joe Santagato]

Like after dinner?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

So you have dinner?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Then you get into bed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not right away. We eat dinner like because we have kids, we eat dinner at like 5 or 6.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, and then I'm not going to bed till like 10:30. So like there's four hours in there that daddy gets hungry for a little snacky poo.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So what kind of sandwich? Typically you're gonna hate me for it, you know. You know what sandwiches I like typically? I'm going lettuce, tomato, mayo.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I was asking if they were just like, like what kind of like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like I wasn't having like a fucking Reuben if that's what you're asking.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, like, like a meat sandwich? No, no, mostly just like lettuce, tomato, mayo, you know, even just tomato mayo, but also a pre bed. Wait, hold a cereal.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, hold on. You will eat a sandwich that's bread with mayonnaise and tomato and that's it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

That's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's delicious.

[Greg]

Right before bed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right before bed.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, it's not, I'm not disputing the taste. It's just like calling that a sandwich is bananas.

[Frank Alvarez]

By definition. It's in between two pieces of bread. It's a sandwich.

[Joe Santagato]

I know. By definition. Frank. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. He's back.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean. What do you mean I'm back? You're saying, calling that a sandwich? It's a sandwich.

[Joe Santagato]

It's tomatoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

How is it not a sandwich?

[Joe Santagato]

It's tomatoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, so who cares what's on the inside? It's a sandwich.

[Joe Santagato]

Me. That's what I'm disputing.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're, you're a sandwich fraud. You're a sandwich truther. Now you're on sandwich. QAnon, Reddit, Chance. What are they called?

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like you know what they're called?

[Frank Alvarez]

Reddit, Chance, what are they called?

[Joe Santagato]

Forums. Reds.

[Frank Alvarez]

There you go. That's it. I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. That's crazy. Calling that a sandwich. Would you eat that sandwich?

[Greg]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not?

[Joe Santagato]

Two to one. You're wrong. Just how it works. This is democracy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank, he's. Honestly, he is right.

[Greg]

Can you have a sandwich without meat?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Grilled cheese?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The veggie sandwich is a veggie sandwich.

[Joe Santagato]

That's true, too.

[Greg]

Well, then I'm back on his side. It's a sandwich then.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm like, you want democracy?

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not, I'm not like, disputing the.

[Greg]

Integrity of the sandwich.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you're, you're, you're just, you're saying.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, people who call it a sandwich.

[Frank Alvarez]

That'S like, it's like, it's like a, a baseball player that is just like, really bad. Like, technically they're a baseball player, but, like, are they. You know what I mean?

[Joe Santagato]

It's more of like, if you, if, if you play, what's the lowest form of professional baseball?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, is it double or Little League? I guess.

[Joe Santagato]

No, like, is triple. What I'm saying, if, like, in the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Minors, there's like, there's like. Frank, it's triple A, double A and a single A.

[Joe Santagato]

So single A is the lowest?

[Frank Alvarez]

To my understanding, yes.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. So I would say that it's similar to someone who plays single a baseball being like, I'm a professional baseball player. Like, I get it, you're a professional baseball player, but we all know what we're talking about when we're saying professional baseball player. You know what I mean? That's kind of how I'M sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's a sandwich, but like, it ain't a sandwich.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not what we have come to know as a sandwich. But it's a sandwich, baby. And it's a delicious one at that.

[Joe Santagato]

Bread there, I get it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're gonna tell me you've never had just a ugly fat of a tomato. And just like that alone is, is just a nice beefy part of like your, your food.

[Joe Santagato]

No. And you squinting your eyes and saying it that way doesn't make it beefier. It's a tomato at the end of the day. Day at the end of the day. That's not even a song. But we have some sponsors before we continue here, we have Zoc Doc, which I am probably going to use if I don't get better in the next few days. But zocdoc, it is a website and an app. It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click instantly to book appointments. Okay? And all these doctors are patient reviewed, so they're going to get a score out of five. So you know who's having a good experience with these doctors and who isn't. And this is the site that I was using when I came off of my mother's insurance and I had to be an adult. Unfortunately, I was like, I don't know how to find a doctor, honestly. So I plug in my insurance into zocdoc. Then it shows me doctors in my area, the next available appointments, which is usually within 48 hours, if not the same day, depending on what time you, like do this. But yeah, so that's what ZocDoc does. And I think that it's an awesome tool especially, you know, for, for people that have insurance and they don't know who takes them or whatever. You don't want to get to the doctor's office and find out they don't take your insurance. And now you have to come out of pocket. That would be, you know, not great. But check out Zocdoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is spelled z o c doc.com basement. All right, folks, there you go. And we also have BetterHelp. This show is sponsored by Better Help as always, and that is online therapy. They have over 30,000 therapists. They are the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally. Okay. And they will help you start talking to A therapist. And very quickly they have a very quick onboarding process so you can get the care that you need. They also make it very easy to find the right fit for you. As far as therapists go, if you find someone and you feel like they don't really get you your vibe or whatever, you can switch for no charge whatsoever. And you can kind of do that. And yeah, it's convenient so you can book sessions whenever you need them. It doesn't have to be every single week. It could be every other week, could be once a month. Whatever the case is, it's customizable for your needs. So, yeah, our listeners will get 10% off of their first month at betterhelp.com basementyard so that is betterhelp.com basementyard and you will save 10% off of your first month of therapy. So enjoy that.

[Frank Alvarez]

And, folks, here I am once again. I'm not torn into pieces, but I am ready to tell you about Patreon. Patreon.com the Basementyard. It's, you know, the hub where we like to hang out and there's us and there's more of us and there's us earlier and stuff like that. It's all stuff that you want to be a part of. If you're not, our patrons will be able to tell you according to them. Look at this user review right here. Look, it's on top of my hand. You see that, Josh? Edit that in right there. Just kidding. It might not be there, but they tell us it's worth it. Okay, so if you go to patreon.com thebasement yard, you can help support us. And you sign up for the first tier. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Get in on the conversations, get in on all the hahas, hehes and whatever else. Maybe, maybe we're crying that episode. You don't know, but you'll find out earlier if you go check it out. And then that second tier, well, then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. So then you could start your week and end your week with the Basement Yard.

[Joe Santagato]

Baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's well worth it according to the people that have it and according to me and according to Joe and according to everyone we got over here. So go check it out. And if you want to sign up for Patreon and you want to save yourself a couple bucks, go on the web browser. Okay. Patreon.com the Basement Yard. We're trying to help you folks save some money. All right? When you sign up through the app, apple or whomever takes a little bit of a cut, so it's going to be a little more expensive. So if you go to www.the basement a patreon.com the basement yard. You sign up there, you'll save yourself some money. You'll be a part of the patreon. It's fun. It's wicked. It's incredible. Okay, now, folks, every week we also tell you about the shows. We're back on tour. We as of recording, we got a show tomorrow. As of recording, we had a couple shows last week. We had so much fun and we're continuing to have fun. So there are some tickets still available. If you didn't see. Danny lo priori is opening our shows as of when this comes out in Vegas and Hollywood, Florida. So go check those out or any of the shows. If there are tickets available, which there are some, you can go to the basementyard.com and look and check it out.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

We announced and sold tickets for Madison square Garden. We're not ready to talk about that because it is an absolute mindfuck of a whole situation. Thank you guys so much for being incredible for supporting us and giving us the opportunity to do this stuff. If you're coming to any of the shows, go to the basementyard.com submit we like to talk to you, about you, with you. You can submit fun little questions or secrets or anything intriguing. We just had an olympic gold medalist come on stage with us and play flip cups. So we learned because of those cards. Go check it out. Thebasemanyard.com submit tickets available at thebasementyard.com patreon.com basementyard not bad.

[Joe Santagato]

It's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not bad that I did that there, right?

[Joe Santagato]

The kisses.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that was a good kiss.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I can't remember the last time I blew a kiss.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I have young kids. I blow them all the time.

[Greg]

What about the last time you received the blown kiss?

[Joe Santagato]

That was an insane sentence. That was so insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't even imagine how that happened.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

So bad. I blow them kisses, guys. God almighty. Oh, God, that sucks. That's the worst one I think we've ever had.

[Joe Santagato]

We've ever had.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the worst one I think we've ever had.

[Joe Santagato]

That's gonna be in the hall of fame.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, hall of shame for some of us up here, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

That's great. Oh, God, that hurt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Anyway, it takes a lot for me to be actually embarrassed and ashamed that one is up there. If not, you know, the top. I blow kisses to my children. All the time.

[Joe Santagato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. That's what I mean. You sick folks.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. No one fucking think anything will cause, Fox.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fuck you all. Sorry. That was intense. Speaking of blowing kisses.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Someone got caught in 4K.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah. I was like, what is the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Someone got caught in 4k. So there was a clip from a Coldplay concert, which. I've never been to a Coldplay concert.

[Joe Santagato]

I've been to a Coldplay concert. It is fire they throw.

[Frank Alvarez]

They put on a show.

[Joe Santagato]

Coldplay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like Coldplay. I have no.

[Joe Santagato]

The joke that if you like Coldplay, you're gay is insane. I'm gay as shit.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's Nathan Lane Cole.

[Joe Santagato]

If liking Coldplay makes you gay, where's the dick? I love Coldplay, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like Coldplay. I'm not. Like, you're a way bigger Coldplay fan than I am.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. And they have this thing where it's like, you put on these sunglasses and shit, and it looks like there's, like, hearts around.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you went to a concert, like, several years ago. I'm sure their concerts now are different. Yeah, you go back.

[Joe Santagato]

You go back to a Coldplay thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

You go back to a Coldplay concert.

[Joe Santagato]

Have I gone?

[Frank Alvarez]

Will you go back?

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah, I absolutely would.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'd go back if they invited us. Coldplay, Mr.

[Joe Santagato]

Play.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mr.

[Joe Santagato]

Cold.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, Cold comma Play. Have us there.

[Joe Santagato]

But at this concert, they had, like, a camera that they put up on these two audience members, and they were. It was like, a guy, like, you know, wholesomely holding his presumed wife in front of him, and they were kind of singing the song. And then they both noticed that they were on the big screen, and they both were just like, oh, my God. And just ducked. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You didn't see this aunt, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

It's. It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

And Chris Martin either. Either said, like. Either, like, something like they're embarrassed or that someone having an affair. And that's someone having an affair.

[Joe Santagato]

Unfortunately, we live in this time and the Internet was like, we're gonna find out who exactly who these people are. He's the CEO of a company. She's, like, the head of, like, hr Something like that, which. And I think they're both married to other people.

[Frank Alvarez]

They. The, like, the speed at which they ducked out of frame.

[Joe Santagato]

If they didn't do that, we wouldn't even be talking about.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wouldn't even be a conversation.

[Joe Santagato]

No one has the werewolf. All in that moment.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, first of all, don't cheat on your fucking spouse pieces of shit.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, we don't know. We don't know what the hell's going on there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Fair. We don't know, but I think the reaction was very.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, this is all alleged.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know for sure that it's those people. No, there. There have been people that have immediately gone on the Internet. Sleuths have gone on, and they'd be.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, yo, this is this person.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they. And they found a ton of stuff already. This is as a recording. Some more information might come out afterward, and we hope everyone's okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, no one gets, like. There's no, like, other, like, bad things that come out? You know what I mean?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, what. What are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Just want to make sure it doesn't get there.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know what you're saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

Put it out there. I just. It's wild. All they had to do was just not react. Cause, like, he, like, ducks out quick.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And she starts laughing and turns around and starts laughing.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I mean, in the video that I saw, she looks like she just turned around and then it, like, panned over to someone else. And the other woman sitting there like, oh, fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's an insane thing to happen at a Coldplay concert. Nonetheless.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now, I'm gonna ask you a very serious question, and this is. I need you to put on your law hat. Law.

[Joe Santagato]

Hello.

[Frank Alvarez]

In a way, is Coldplay or their production team now open and now don't do the whole, like, what's right and wrong. Is Coldplay in their production team now open to, like, a lawsuit if this dude's wife leaves him and he decides he wants to sue them?

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you think he has grounds to stand on?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think so. Why would he? Should we.

[Greg]

Should we show the people who haven't seen it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sure by this time. I'm sure by this time people have seen it.

[Joe Santagato]

I actually feel bad about, like, contributing to these horrible. We don't have this horrible moment.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. We don't need to. We don't need to show it. We don't need to show you just talk about it.

[Greg]

I just watched it quick for myself, and it's pretty. Damn.

[Joe Santagato]

It's pretty bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But, like, serious question.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you think they have opened themselves up to litigation?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think so. I think that, like, I assume. I mean, I don't know if you're going to an event and there's like, a screen and cameras, there has to be something in, like, this is being recorded.

[Frank Alvarez]

You might Be.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, what are you gonna do? I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, that's, that's, that's just an insane thing to happen, like.

[Joe Santagato]

And they didn't, like, target those people. Like, maybe there would be something if they kept going back.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've seen, though, that happened at the Padres game we were at. Remember, it was like, they, like, it was like a dance cam, and it was a woman dancing, and they went back to her, like, five minutes later.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, they did that. And these people obviously didn't want to be on camera, and they kept going back to them, like, maybe something then.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. But even then, I'm like, you're in this, you're in the place, you can.

[Frank Alvarez]

They looked like they were enjoying the shit out of some Coldplay, and then they weren't. Yeah, that night went south quick.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. And honestly, there. There may be some, like, actual repercussions that happen. As far as their company goes. I mean, that's illegs, isn't it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know about illegal, but, like, it's definitely not cool that, like, the head of HR is having probably an undocumented affair with the CEO.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The power dynamic there alone is a. No, no.

[Greg]

The board of directors might have a thing to say.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, the board's gonna have a problem if he's, If.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, they'll probably. I imagine he'll leave his position. Probably remain on the board.

[Joe Santagato]

Now we're speculating about that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, CEO. I, I, I mean, I don't know. No.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Do we know that? I don't want to start naming the company, but, like, I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know what the it is.

[Greg]

The double whammy's tough.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not like it's like Microsoft, you know? No, that would have been great.

[Joe Santagato]

It's not like a. He's not a famous. Maybe. I don't fucking know. I'm not tapped in like that. But, like, it's a. It's, It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

If Greg was here, he would have known. He loves CEOs, dude. He's so frothed up by CEO.

[Joe Santagato]

But, yeah, that's a toughy, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I imagine this is not the first time that, like, I'm not saying for them as individuals, but, like, the first time a camera at a game has, like, spotted something happening that shouldn't be happening.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, it's hard to figure out what's real and what's not, because now they, like, set that up and it's like fake breakups and shit like that. But yeah, yikes.

[Greg]

I've seen a couple times, like, on a cam when a guy has an arm around the girl and then they're on and it's like, oh, I've seen that, like, in person. I've seen that a couple times. It's like, oh, that was weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is crazy. Like, broke. I just.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know, man.

[Greg]

It's weird to do that in front of, like. It's just so many people. Anybody can see you.

[Frank Alvarez]

What part of this. Of the. Did they do that at? Like a. Like a dance cam or something at the show you went to?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't really remember. It was. It was a long time ago. But it's like you're at a concert, so obviously, like, there are times and when you're a band like that in a stadium, they film the crowd. So, like, they'll show some people singing songs or whatever, like it's gonna happen. The only thing is, like, they may have been so far away that they didn't expect that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, if you see the video that went viral was of a. Just a phone recording. So, like, it's not like it's the official video from the show. It's like someone was recording and it popped up maybe like their friend was on it or something. And then it switched to them and everyone was just like, oh, shit. Chris Barton was just like, what's going on here, folks?

[Greg]

That line makes it like so much worse. Probably a trillion times worse.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, them ducking out of frame is like, what got everyone talking.

[Frank Alvarez]

So when you're called out by musician superstar Chris Martin for possibly having an affair, it's tough.

[Joe Santagato]

The whole. The board is going crazy today, dude. Crazy. Do we know where this happened?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I saw. It was in, like, Boston or something.

[Greg]

Oh, it was Boston I saw.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

So the board this morning is just like. This is a wicked piss. Ah, yeah. You know, what the fuck? You know, they're like fucking fuming right now while as they're all drinking, you know, Dunkachinos.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a. That's. That's tough, dude. Well, it's safe to say that they're going to be single people, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I wish all of them as individuals. Well, I don't know.

[Joe Santagato]

All you can do. I mean, we don't know the exact situation. In a perfect world, they actually were secretly not married to different people. And it's. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

In a perfect world, no one got hurt. Yeah, that's I think what we're saying. How do we navigate these waters? These muddy waters right here? Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No, in a perfect world, nobody gets hurt. Nobody. And nobody gets hyped. Put your hands up.

[Frank Alvarez]

And nobody's gonna get Hoyt.

[Joe Santagato]

Nobody's gonna get Hoyt. Also, in some news, there's a. There's a new dating app for Disney adults.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

You hopping on that? What?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that something you think that you would have eventually got to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely not. There is. I will say this. There is one person in this room that would have been on that fucking app so goddamn hard.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, let me. Let's do process of elimination.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. I like Disney. Yeah, but not me, right? You're a Disney guy. But not you.

[Joe Santagato]

No. So I think then by definition, you'd hop on.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's you. Yeah, it's you.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you think that you would connect with someone via Disney like that?

[Greg]

I don't think so. It's a little intense.

[Joe Santagato]

It is intense. I will be honest.

[Greg]

What would you have called the app?

[Frank Alvarez]

So I know there is a name.

[Joe Santagato]

I know the name, but it's not like Disney date.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. What would you. What would you call it?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I have a good one.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mouseketeers.

[Joe Santagato]

That is somehow worse than the entire idea of the app. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that's like, that's very on brand. These people love their. Their Mickey or Minnie ears, you know?

[Joe Santagato]

Is the name like Disney? Ish?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so it's just kind of like.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's okay. Once you hear it, you're like, oh, that's actually kind of clever. But like, you gotta think like, what.

[Joe Santagato]

If it was park hoppers?

[Frank Alvarez]

Fairly close. Honestly. Park lovers. Park. The park isn't the word, but there's something to do with going to an amusement park.

[Joe Santagato]

Heart Hoppers. Line Skippers. Line hoppers.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, no, no. But you're like line. You're right there, Joey. You're.

[Joe Santagato]

You're.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're. You're flicking the rim and everything.

[Joe Santagato]

Lot. Is it line? No, wait.

[Frank Alvarez]

It has to do with getting on a ride. And the word ride is in it.

[Joe Santagato]

So there you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess I gave it away.

[Joe Santagato]

The word ride is in it. Yeah. And that's sexual, dude.

[Greg]

Ride Hopper.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Hop right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Think about it. It's a dating app, right? So use.

[Joe Santagato]

Use your wild ride.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, because not all the. That might be over promising and under delivering. You know, not all these rides might be wild. You know, like a. Right.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Greg]

Ride companion or something.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ride is the. Ride is the second word, but you're kind of on the right track.

[Joe Santagato]

Hot ride?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Greg]

Magic ride.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a good answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is a good one. But not all the rides might be magic mouse ride. Now it's called single riders. That's actually pretty clever because, like, when you go on it when. When you go online for, like, a roller coaster, they're like. Any single riders here? Yeah, I thought that's pretty clever.

[Joe Santagato]

Single riders.

[Greg]

Why was the clue hopper given?

[Joe Santagato]

Because, like, that's the type of ticket park hopper.

[Greg]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So on July 8, there was a guy on TikTok who's claiming to be developing a dating app for Disney adults. He explained we'll be opening up the app for beta later this year and encourage viewers to share their ideas.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, honestly, that's a new level of single. When you got to, like, create an app so that people.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, you need to, like. And listen, I get you want to, like, help. Like, you have a very niche thing that you want to help find, like, farmers only, you know, like. Yeah, that makes sense because farmers aren't.

[Joe Santagato]

Going to meet each other because they're busy farming.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude. What do you mean? They're gonna. They don't have any time.

[Joe Santagato]

They've got America.

[Frank Alvarez]

They've got to check on their yield.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Greg]

And the farmer lifestyle is very specific.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not only very specific, but, to my understanding, time consuming. And, like. Yeah, you don't have a lot of, like, free time. You're working 24 7. Basically.

[Joe Santagato]

I can't be going out on dates like this. We're either together and we're in this couch together.

[Frank Alvarez]

Farmers date. It's got to be like, I just met someone from downtown when I was picking up, you know, some new manure. And, like, we decided that we were fancying each other.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then we went and we picked up corn together.

[Joe Santagato]

We went to bingo Nat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Went bingo Nat. Well, no, they can't go to bingo night. They have no time.

[Joe Santagato]

They have time at night, do they? The horses got us.

[D]

This episode is brought to you by Rakuten. If you're shopping while working, eating, or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of a deal. But are you getting the deal and cash back? Rakuten shoppers, do they get the brands they love? Savings and cash back. And you can get it, too. Stack sales on top of cash back and feel what it's like to know you're maximizing savings. It's easy to use and you get cash back sent to you through PayPal or check. The idea is simple. The brands you love pay Rakuten for sending them shoppers, and Rakuten shares the money with you as cash back. Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. It's the most rewarding way to shop. That's R A K U t e n rakuten.com sleep.

[Frank Alvarez]

It'S not just horses, though. They've got to like, they've got to like, do a lot of stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, they're not working 24 7, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

Farmers work, man.

[Joe Santagato]

I know, but they have some time off.

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine by the time that their work day is done, they're exhausted.

[Joe Santagato]

That's when it's. It's. It's life.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I ask you a serious question?

[Joe Santagato]

I am not built for farming.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not the question I was going to ask.

[Joe Santagato]

What are you going to say?

[Frank Alvarez]

Thanks for the clarification. How, like, is there any reality where you would have been on this Disney Disney app?

[Joe Santagato]

No, dude, that's not something that I need to connect over, nor is it like, important to me in the slightest.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is there anything about you as an individual that like, would require its own dating app? Like, that's like if I joined a.

[Joe Santagato]

Dating app for like Marvel or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't think so. I don't have any hard, like, stances on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you don't.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm like, I need it to be.

[Frank Alvarez]

You do like, you like things hard though. Like you're, you're into things and you get into them hard. Like, you're real into golf right now.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but I'm, but, but I like, I like pick stuff up and I like getting interested in stuff and learn a lot about it. But like, it doesn't become like, you know, the. My personality.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, that's not what I'm saying. Yeah, but like, when you get into things like you, you're like, you get into them. Like, you start researching, you start doing this, you start doing that. Like, you know, it's, it's a bit of a sprint. I'm the same way, honestly. I'm not talking down upon it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but I don't know that if any of those things would like, feel like, oh, if there was a dating app for this, then I'd definitely hop on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you ever, like, dated like a Disney super fan?

[Joe Santagato]

Never neither. I've had ex girlfriends who've had family members that were like, really into It Really? Yeah, like, multiple times. I mean, our. Our friend is a Disney guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

We know. A Disney guy.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. And he's, like, into it multiple times a year. Yeah, multiple times a year. Knows the ins and outs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I had a child and immediately started talking about when is the appropriate time to bring that child.

[Joe Santagato]

I was convinced that baby was gonna be named, like, Minnie or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Minnie Leia.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You know, Leia's a pretty name, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like the name Leia. It's pretty nice.

[Joe Santagato]

A great.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you. Have you ever dated a, like, a hardcore Disney fan?

[Greg]

No. No. Yeah, I would be the one.

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine this dating app is just going to become people exchanging, like, those pins, like those collectors pins and stuff like that. And it's just going to be girls, like, I'm into Disney and guys just being like, all right, name any Disney movie that has ever been made, ever.

[Joe Santagato]

Where?

[Frank Alvarez]

Pop quiz. Where is Walt Disney's anti Semitic head?

[Joe Santagato]

Where is it, Fort Knox?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, there's a. There's a long standing rumor that it's frozen under Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Joe Santagato]

That'd be a hell of a place.

[Greg]

It seems more like an app where, like, oh, two people who are alone but really want to go to Disney could meet up and, like, enjoy the time together.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, that's sweet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. A soft part of me, I love, love. I want someone to find their person. However they choose to do that, that's on them. But, like, this does just seem like a crazy. Such a niche, niche thing to have an app for. Like, what's the user base gonna be in the United States? A thousand people. I think you're underestimating, like, hardcore Disney heads, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

You're underestimating. Really? I don't even know if this is actually. I didn't know it was like, just a guy who's, like, making it. But, like, I think that if there was a. An app that existed for real, I. I think we'd be surprised. It'd be more than that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could see it, though.

[Joe Santagato]

Weirdest sex is probably.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, the weirdest stuff that's gonna be, you know, people talking like Goofy. We're talking, like, cosplaying, dressing up, role playing.

[Frank Alvarez]

And there are people that do cosplay sex. Furries. There's furry sex, too. That's a thing they do. But, like, they do it. I think what makes the Disney thing stranger is that it is predominantly aimed at kids.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Greg]

I think a lot of Mickey ears will be on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, man. You're gonna hear like, oh, boy.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had to get it in. You understand?

[Joe Santagato]

I totally get it.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is, this is the appropriate time to bring it up.

[Joe Santagato]

I know the. That's your Mickey Mouse impression. Impression.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Say something like in the Mickey Mouse voice. No, that, like, that was a laugh. Something like, well, you got to give.

[Frank Alvarez]

Me something to say. Like sex.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, yeah, something during sex. Here's Mickey Mouse during sex.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, fuck.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

Come on, guys.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

But we're just gonna move on from that, huh? We're not.

[Joe Santagato]

What you. You saying Mickey Mouse Haven? What'd you say?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you gave me a scene, and as a committer to the bit, I felt the need to commit. I mean, how many. How many. If people use this app, how many, like Mickey ears or Minnie ears are gonna be worn during sex?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you said that, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you done that?

[Greg]

Not yet.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's still time yet.

[Joe Santagato]

There's still time.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's still. You have.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, technically, there's all time. There's still time for all of us to do it. That's true.

[Greg]

We could all do it together.

[Joe Santagato]

I throw them on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't have any.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't have any.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would have to go out of my way to get them.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, then you can come upon ears the next time.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like I'd be way more of a Goofy hat guy. The one that has the ears and the tail, is the teeth and stuff like that. That. I'm. I'm kind of sounds pretty sick.

[Joe Santagato]

I. One time I went to Disney and I bought that hat and I wore it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd wear the hell out of that hat. Disney got good hats.

[Greg]

They got good hats.

[Frank Alvarez]

How good?

[Greg]

Good.

[Joe Santagato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna have to get some Disney hats.

[Joe Santagato]

How is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I would like.

[Joe Santagato]

How are you satisfied by that answer? How good? Good. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because if they were not good, he would. Bro, honestly, I'm not even getting good hats.

[Joe Santagato]

And you said, how good? And he said good. And you went, all right, well, because he's setting.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's setting a realistic expectation. You know, like, if you were to ask me, like, they got good hats would be like, oh, they got. And then they might just be middle of the road. He's being strategic. He's setting a middle. Middle ground expectation. So I'm either. There's no disappointment because it's just like, oh, he said they were just good.

[Joe Santagato]

You want a Goofy hat?

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't hate a Goofy hat. Yeah, I Wouldn't hate a Goofy hat. Mickey ears. I guess I'd get them. There's got to be other cool hats, though, right? What other characters got hats?

[Greg]

Donald Duck has a specific hat.

[Joe Santagato]

He does have a hat.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's Donald's hat?

[Greg]

It's just a little sailor hat kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I don't want to wear a sailor hat.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, they have. I think they have a Donald Duck. It's, like, similar to the Goofy one, where the bill is, like, just like a yellow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but that's just a yellow brim. Like, I want, like. I think what's cool about the Goofy is it has the teeth and the ears.

[Joe Santagato]

I just think at a certain amount of accessories, it starts to look weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, I agree with that. Oh, you mean me?

[Joe Santagato]

No. Anyone?

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, yeah, I'm with you.

[Joe Santagato]

Besides, children.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Kids go nuts. Like, enjoy all the accessories.

[Joe Santagato]

You. Are you gonna bring your kids to Disney?

[Frank Alvarez]

We were looking into it last year, decided not to just because of the age of. Really? Maeve.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's more realistic this year. So I'm gonna need both of your help because.

[Joe Santagato]

What's that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, just, like, planning and stuff. I remember when I was looking into this this year, Aunt was, like, telling me, like, the ins and outs and stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I don't really know too much about Disney. I'm more of a universal kind of girl.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel universal is more straightforward than Disney. Disney is like, you need to plan.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You gotta, like, if you're going with kids, I assume, like, I know nothing about that. That you would have to do, like, the breakfasts and stuff.

[Frank Alvarez]

We need to have one breakfast with a character. My sister and her kids did that, and they said it was really cute, but it was a couple bucks.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

A couple dollars.

[Joe Santagato]

They're gonna take it from you for sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. I'm. I'm fully expecting that.

[Joe Santagato]

I think they have pancakes that are, like, shaped like Mickey Mouse. And I just want to say this about pancakes. Big fan. But when they're shaped like stuff that isn't pancakes, they're a lot better.

[Greg]

It is a waffle you're talking about.

[Joe Santagato]

Yep.

[Greg]

And you are right. It tastes really. It tastes much better.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I've never had a bad waffle period, so I imagine that they only get better when they're shaped like something else.

[Joe Santagato]

Are Eggos waffles?

[Frank Alvarez]

They are.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, are they Eggos the brand?

[Frank Alvarez]

They have waffles. They have French toast sticks. They have pancakes.

[Joe Santagato]

They're. They're small waffles. I used to Love those. Dude. Dude, I. I would eat 12 of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna tell you something, and I don't know, this might be a hot take. Eggo as a brand. Hasn't missed a consistently good brand. I had an Eggo waffle not long ago. Still as good as I remember.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, like, you know, it doesn't really taste like a waffle. Like a Belgian waffle.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Joey, you're not getting a Belgian quality fresh waffle out of a frozen box.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I know. I'm just saying, like, it just does. It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

But they have, they have thick and fluffy ones that are. They've got some power. They got some full, full, full diapers.

[Joe Santagato]

I. French toast sticks. That's a good one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I used to like those a lot. The ones, the mini ones are super fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

The mini waffles.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh my God, Love that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are those the ones that come in like the four pack?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm all about those.

[Joe Santagato]

Loved those.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn. I'm kind of feeling waffles right now.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't. If I had to pick between waffles and pancakes, I think I would go pancakes, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ah, I gotta go waffle. Because you get, you get texture with a waffle. Yeah, it's all sponge with. I, I like pancakes. But you get a little crunch with a good waffle. And on the inside it's fluffy.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, if you get lucky, you get a waffle that's a little burnt. Oh, like the sides are burnt.

[Frank Alvarez]

And also, I've never. And maybe this is just. I just haven't done it. But like, I've had savory waffles. You know, like a chicken and waffles situation. Yeah, I've never had like a savory pancake.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, actually there was this diner I went to in Long island somewhere and like, it was very interesting because you would order pancakes, but on the side of the page they had all of these what looked like sides and you could choose whatever you wanted and they would put it inside the pancake.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

So like, like, literally anything, dude, they will put it in the pancakes. 1.

[Frank Alvarez]

One of the best breakfasts I've ever had was at a place in LA years ago. And it was like straw fresh strawberry and Nutella stuffed in a waffle.

[Joe Santagato]

The way that you said stuff was so aggressive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stuffed. It just like this thing was like you cut into it and it's like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you know, you know what's going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, you know what's coming.

[Joe Santagato]

Was it fat?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was fatter.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, like Fat.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a Winston Churchill of a fucking waffle baby.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no, no. I don't. I mean, like, it was actually thick.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? Yeah, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because what they do.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that not a crepe at that point.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is by. Do you know what a crepe is?

[Joe Santagato]

Flat. It is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because they. They put. They do better, and then they put the in it, and then they do fresh batter on top and they cook it like that.

[Joe Santagato]

That's crazy. So good.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just like. God, it was so good, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

I think I got, like. It was pretty boring, but I was able to get. You know what they did for me at this place? Did for me. It's what they do for everyone. It was.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did it do it for you?

[Joe Santagato]

It did it did it do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did it to me.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Ham, bacon, and syrup inside. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So which I love. Kind of like a McGriddle.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm into that.

[Joe Santagato]

When things are injected with syrup. Oh, my God. Do you just make a fucking bad face? Cut your head off?

[Frank Alvarez]

You might want to cut it.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I agree. I agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna. I got the hot takes flowing. I'm gonna let this flow now.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, definitely not a hot take to have syrup injected.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm. What? I'm about to hot take it. Oh, you ready to take my hot.

[Joe Santagato]

What's your hot take? If this is about McGriddles not being good, I'll come over there and hit you in the face.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I was gonna say that the McGriddle is the single best item McDonald's has.

[Joe Santagato]

How is that a hot take? There's no way.

[Frank Alvarez]

There are people that would vehemently disagree. There are people that think the filet o fish is edible.

[Joe Santagato]

Ew.

[Frank Alvarez]

People would say big Mac. People would say quarter pounder. People would say third pounder.

[Joe Santagato]

The McGriddle is the goat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Double quarter pounder with cheese. There are people that would say that the. The Chicken McNuggets. There are people that would say snack wraps. There are people that would.

[Joe Santagato]

Snack wraps.

[Frank Alvarez]

There are people that would say that they just brought them back. People lose their goddamn mind for fucking snack wraps.

[Joe Santagato]

I used to like the snack wrap.

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't had it ever.

[Joe Santagato]

It's not bad. People say not, like, go out of your way for it.

[Frank Alvarez]

People would say McRib is the best. I'm saying that the McGriddle bacon, egg, and cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is quite possibly the pinnacle of fast food probs. And I'm not even a big McDonald's guy, but it's up there.

[Joe Santagato]

It's so good. Actually, the actual goat of fast food, I think, is the McDonald's fries. Like, that is, like, the best. I know you don't like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I had that shotgun I was talking about earlier, your head would have been on the fucking elevator doors right now.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude, it's like the best fast food item. No, it's like pound for pound, number one.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it is not. It is absolutely not.

[Joe Santagato]

So what's the best fast food item ever?

[Frank Alvarez]

Crunchwrap supreme might be up there.

[Joe Santagato]

Crunchwrap Supreme?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. A Crunchwrap Supreme. Are you nuts? The Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich.

[Joe Santagato]

Nah, dude, that's not better than the McDonald's.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Whopper.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I don't think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whopper. Way better.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't. I don't think that there's like. I think pound for pounds, the McDonald's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fries are like Burger King chicken fries.

[Greg]

That's a good answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you know what?

[Joe Santagato]

No, it's.

[Greg]

That's a really good answer.

[Joe Santagato]

So it's not they've stood this. The fucking sands of time. That's not it, is it?

[Greg]

I think that's right.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I don't know what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. It's strange that this came up because recently World Atlas did a release of the top 10 most unhealthy fast food chains in the U.S. okay, that's fine.

[Joe Santagato]

But that's not what I'm saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

That. What you're saying is that. Say it again, pound for pound.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that McDonald's fries are like the. The fast food item. Like, they're the guy. If there was a. If there was a players association, they'd be president.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? I'll say this. That's the Babe Ruth. But there's argument to be made that there have been other, better contributions.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. They're the first mega star.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Babe Ruth. Okay, absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I agree with that. But, like, you can make arguments, of course. Like, some people like LeBron, they like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But if Paul Skeens, which is the Crunchwrap supreme, pitched to Babe Ruth.

[Joe Santagato]

Nah, it's closer than that. Ah. Also, they're different things that, like, we're talking about a side versus, like, a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thing I would say personally.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're not even my favorite fast food fry. That's just a personal.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I mean, sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's you, though.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, you got to think about the world and, like, the impact that the McDonald's fries had.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I agree.

[Joe Santagato]

It's.

[Greg]

It's probably on the Mount Rushmore of fast food. Items.

[Joe Santagato]

It has to be like, it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely. If I'm being unbiased. I agree. I think you're right.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, think about the fucking red box with the M. Yeah, it's like, it's iconic.

[Frank Alvarez]

They actually.

[Joe Santagato]

Everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I just saw that like Indonesia or somewhere is releasing a, like, it's like a 10 inch fry box for like shareable fries with your boys.

[Joe Santagato]

That's fire. It's kind of sick.

[Frank Alvarez]

What would be on the Mount Terrible, by the way.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Too large fries.

[Frank Alvarez]

My personal fast food, Mount Rushmore. Yeah, the Whopper.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just think it's the.

[Joe Santagato]

We're thinking of icons here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, I know, I know. And are we throwing in.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait a sec. Because five guys might be on the. No way. Five guys. Too new. Too new. Too late to the game. You're right, you're right, you're right. The Whopper is up there. For me, personally, I think it is the best fast food burger. I really, truly do. Crunchwrap Supreme. I think it is just. It is so thinking outside the bun, you know, like, they really lived moss with that. They snapped with that.

[Joe Santagato]

They lived moss with that. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, man, this is tough. I do think in terms of. I think the McFlurry is up there too.

[Joe Santagato]

Whoa.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think the McFurry is up there because the. The other most popular dessert would be like a. Like a Frosty. But I just feel like a Frosty is like just like the cool underground brother of a McFlurry.

[Joe Santagato]

Do we what it. Like, can something like the Happy Meal be up there? Because I feel like that may be more like.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a. That's an incredible point. And if it is, if we're counting that, it's got to be for me.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Happy meals and specifically McDonald's Happy Meal. I don't know. Burger King has had some banger Happy Meals.

[Joe Santagato]

Happy Meals?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Kids meals. They call like King Jr. Meals or something like.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I don't even know.

[Greg]

I'm just looking through, like, the Subways. No, Subways cookies.

[Joe Santagato]

No, Subway did have a good.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had a good cookie. But Subway has been.

[Joe Santagato]

Subway's not great.

[Frank Alvarez]

They've been removed because of some stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Even if we.

[Joe Santagato]

Even if we're like, thinking about Subway, like, nothing iconic. Fair.

[Greg]

What about White Castle's chicken rings?

[Frank Alvarez]

I like them. You're not gonna get me to put them on. Although White is the Crave case iconic. I did. The Crave case is kind of iconic. And I think White Castle was Like the first fast food chain.

[Joe Santagato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm pretty sure it out. It like predates all other ones. You can, you can cross reference that more than McDonald's, I believe, because McDonald's was like the fif. I think White Castle was like the 40s.

[Greg]

You're saying white Castle is the first festoon? It is White Castle.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow.

[Greg]

1921.

[Joe Santagato]

What it really was in Old Castle then.

[Frank Alvarez]

104 years. I, I think if we're gonna count, we can't count Happy Meal because that's a, that's, that's, that's packaging.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because what the contents of it are what make it, you know. Yeah, McDonald's. But I'm going Whopper. I'm going McFlurry. I'm going cheesy. Not cheesy Gordita Crunch, Crunchwrap supreme, but cheesy Gordita Crunch. There's an argument to be made there and I guess I gotta give a fry option, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Well, didn't you.

[Greg]

You had chicken up there, probably.

[Joe Santagato]

You don't need.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, Popeye's spicy chicken sandwich. Here's the bed. I've made it. It's done.

[Greg]

Isn't Popeye's biscuit more iconic?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, if we're going by icon status only talking about that, I was just going by what is the best.

[Joe Santagato]

It's hard for me to pick things more than like, there's the iconic things are like the fries at McDonald's, the Whopper, the Big Mac.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I, I don't think anyone, I don't think anyone's gonna argue with you that McDonald's is like the.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, they're iconic.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're. They're the biggest. They're the. They might not be the biggest by store count. I think actually Subway is. Or there was like a Chinese brand that recently overtook them. But it is just like when people see the golden arches, it hits like, it's now like it does something to them. That's what they're called.

[Joe Santagato]

I know, but I'm just thinking of like, iconic. Like when you think of fast food.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

Think of those things.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think you're going icons of the game. And I completely get and respect that. If, if you're asking me my personal. What I think are the peak of. They are iconic and they, like capture what it is to be fast food, which is just like kind of playful, a little out there, but also delicious. Crunchwrap supreme is.

[Joe Santagato]

Is.

[Frank Alvarez]

So how do you argue against that?

[Joe Santagato]

I. I don't know.

[Greg]

Chicken fries are way more playful because they're Chicken and their fries.

[Frank Alvarez]

Chicken.

[Joe Santagato]

Fries are just. They're not iconic, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I wouldn't call them iconic.

[Greg]

The Big Mac.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Greg]

Big Mac's definitely number one. Right?

[Joe Santagato]

Big Mac. Big Mac and Whopper are like icons.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I agree.

[Greg]

And the Crave Case isn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

But we're not going. We can't go. We can't go package, but now we're going packaging.

[Joe Santagato]

Because now it's just Crave Case and Happy Meal up there. Different mountain.

[Greg]

It is a different mountain.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is a different. Who else has, like, iconic packaging? Like, those two places? Like, I can name them, but, like, for the general audience, I don't know. A Happy Meal is like. That is a. That. That is. It's so perfect.

[Joe Santagato]

The box is like. The arches are the handle. Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's so. It is peak. Peak, peak design. Whoever figured that out should be a multi billionaire, and I hope they are.

[Joe Santagato]

It's Ronald McDonald's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ronald deserves what he's.

[Joe Santagato]

Whoever designed that mascot needs to be shot in the head.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

How is that what we came up with here for McDonald's?

[Frank Alvarez]

Kids used to love clowns.

[Joe Santagato]

I thought they hated clowns.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now they hate them. But, like, back in the day, clowns were, like, cool, like, legit parts of society. Like, you'd be like, what are you doing for the birthday? We got a clown coming.

[Joe Santagato]

I know. That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, we'll be there.

[Joe Santagato]

That's so weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

They've also, I will say, in terms of mascots, I don't think McDonald's is very.

[Joe Santagato]

They're horrible at that.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're not good at it. They had a. They had a clown in whiteface. They had a giant purple thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Grimace. Yeah, well, he's coming back.

[Frank Alvarez]

He honestly might be moving further. I mean, Ronald McDonald has a foundation that's cool.

[Joe Santagato]

They don't promote him. I think they may have parted ways, because I have. When's the last time you seen Ronald McDonald, bro? They don't talk about the guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had a hamburglar. They. I was gonna say they had a thief.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, A food thief.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had a mayor. Was Mayor McCheese McDonald's?

[Joe Santagato]

I believe so.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had a little bird.

[Joe Santagato]

Remember?

[Frank Alvarez]

Her name was like, Tweety or not Tweety, like, something like that. She was like a little bird, you know, I'm talking about.

[Greg]

You're getting real deep into the McDonald's.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you're.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now I know my McDonald's lore, folks.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you're in it, aren't you? The king is great.

[Frank Alvarez]

King is great, but he's also a little naughty.

[Joe Santagato]

He's a little like, I like the king.

[Greg]

He's a rascal.

[Joe Santagato]

He is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then you had the.

[Joe Santagato]

He's a rascal.

[Greg]

He is a rascal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then you had the Taco Bell Chihuahua icon.

[Joe Santagato]

Jokero. Taco Bell. Massive, dude. Massive 90s in the early 2000s. Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who else?

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, Wendy, she was never a mascotified.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, she was never a mascot. It was just Dave Thomas's fucking granddaughter or some like that.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm talking like you could see like them, like people dressed up as them. If I saw someone dressed up as Wendy at a Wendy's, I'd be like.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that Pippi Longstock? Yeah. This is stupid.

[Greg]

Have you ever done trivia?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's just Dave Thomas's. Who are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know things.

[Joe Santagato]

Who is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's. You remember that old guy? Be like, I'm Dave. Dave Thomas. He was old white guy.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

You guys don't remember Dave Thomas in the commercials?

[Joe Santagato]

I know Rob Thomas.

[Frank Alvarez]

We all know Rob and should know Rob Thomas.

[Joe Santagato]

Rob Thomas.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know? Cause you're just like the ocean. Just the same as the emotion that I brought you. You got the kind of loving that could be so sweet. Yeah. Give me your heart and make it real. Or else forget about it. Damn.

[Joe Santagato]

Kind of crushed that shout out to Santana, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

And matchbox 20.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's a great band.

[Frank Alvarez]

Any other well known mascots for fast food chains?

[Greg]

I mean, Colonel Sanders.

[Joe Santagato]

Colonel Sanders is a big one. Jared. He's a big one. Icon.

[Greg]

Chucky. Chuck E. Cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love my boy. Love my boy Chuck.

[Greg]

Other than that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Greg]

It's like giving me Chester Cheeto like mask.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, technically, but it's not fast food.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Now it's just mascots.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. We're not. That's not fast food, though.

[Joe Santagato]

That's not crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Pringle head.

[Joe Santagato]

You know the Pringle head guy?

[Greg]

Kool Aid man.

[Frank Alvarez]

Kool Aid man.

[Greg]

But now we're getting.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now we're getting past fast food. There's an argument to be made. Maybe we won.

[Joe Santagato]

What was the most unhealthy one again?

[Frank Alvarez]

So I didn't say. So 10 was chick fil A. Sounds about right. It's fried. Most of it's just fried chicken.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, nine Little Caesars.

[Joe Santagato]

I've had it once. Never having that again.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never had it. Won't ever.

[Joe Santagato]

I might have it again. Really? I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's pizza, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Sometimes it's pizza. But, like, do you ever have cravings of, like, you want pizza, but it's like, I want dog shit pizza. Like, I want whack pizza. You never get that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I kind of do sometimes.

[Joe Santagato]

Every now and then, Domino's and Papa John's, like, bingo foods. You're like, yeah, I want some.

[Frank Alvarez]

Every now and then I get a craving for Domino's just because I need an excuse to also get cheesy bread.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Number eight, Smash Burger.

[Joe Santagato]

Never had it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Love Smashburger.

[Joe Santagato]

Very good.

[Frank Alvarez]

So these are.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, these are the most unhealthy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Getting to number one. Number eight, McDonald's in top 10, but not on the podium. That's pretty surprising.

[Joe Santagato]

Shocking, honestly.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, seven Quiznos.

[Joe Santagato]

Never been to a Quiznos. I haven't seen the sign.

[Frank Alvarez]

Had it once, and it was just.

[Joe Santagato]

What did they sell?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sandwiches? It was like hot sandwiches, like Subway. Like, I got, like, a French dip from them or something like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, getting a fast food French dip. You're really rolling the dice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. And those dice came not in my favor, let me tell you.

[Greg]

Yeah, I remember a commercial for them was like, the meatball sub or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember it was those little, like, Internet monsters. They were, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Pretty good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You remember that, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Were they.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were like little rats with giant Steve Buscemi eyes.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, okay. I'm thinking of something different now.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't remember these. Get these things at all?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't need to see him.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, number seven we have here was Quiznos number. Oh, there's no number six.

[Joe Santagato]

Whoa. Oh, maybe there's ties.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, there was tie at 8. I'd love to see how they figure that out. Number five, kfc.

[Joe Santagato]

That makes sense. I used to get the double down from them. Me and Keith used to go, you know, reddish chicken.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't remember these little monsters?

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

You remember that commercial? It was like a viral thing at the time.

[Joe Santagato]

We. We get the double down. It's two pieces of fried chicken with a sauce, cheese and bacon between them. And, like, that's the whole sandwich.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, the buns were chicken. I'm sure they were good.

[Joe Santagato]

Fantastic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Number four, Dairy Queen. I think I've only had, like, Dairy Queen ice cream. I don't think I've yet, like, Dairy Queen food.

[Joe Santagato]

They sell food, do they?

[Greg]

It's the normal stuff. Burgers, fries.

[Joe Santagato]

Do they think so?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

Ever had, like, the. The blizzards.

[Greg]

But that makes sense because those are so calorically dense.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I mean, I've had a blizzard Before.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Every single time they go like this. When they get to like, they actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Burgers, sandwiches. That's been Sides, salads, snacks, pretzels, chicken baskets. So they have, they have a good amount chicken baskets. Number three, Taco Bell. This one hurts because I'm a big Taco Bell fan.

[Joe Santagato]

Taco Bell's good, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't know how it would be the most unhealthy though.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Maybe. Wasn't there a thing that came out like years ago that it didn't have like, good meat or maybe they had great meat.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought it was that they had the best meat.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, maybe that was it.

[Frank Alvarez]

That it was like their meat was the goodest meat.

[Joe Santagato]

That's the goodest meat.

[Greg]

I think their lettuce was causing some problems.

[Joe Santagato]

If I remember correctly, there was like E. Coli.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a big E. Coli breakout in like 2006 or some shit.

[Joe Santagato]

It's not like Taco Bell's fault.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I mean.

[Joe Santagato]

E. Coli gets into stuff sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's true.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I, I to my understanding that happens mostly when they're like, not taken care of. Well.

[Joe Santagato]

Who knows?

[Frank Alvarez]

Number two could have told you this. Sonic.

[Joe Santagato]

Sonic. I've never been to a Sonic.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've had Sonic once, and it was, if you could believe it, the worst hot dog I've ever had in my entire life.

[Joe Santagato]

You got a fast food hot dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, hell yeah, I did.

[Joe Santagato]

What? I guess when is a hot dog a slow food?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, sometimes people take pride in their hot dogs.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's.

[Joe Santagato]

So what do they sell at Sonic?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hot dogs, shakes, burgers.

[Greg]

They have these things called cinna snacks. It's like little dough filled with cinnamon. And wars could be started over those things.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Delicious. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, they have the ones. Are those the ones the blizzard, right, that you hold them upside down. Oh, which one is Sonic then?

[Joe Santagato]

It's the.

[Greg]

If they have shakes as well, but not as popular as blizzards.

[Joe Santagato]

What's the. What's the Upside down is Dairy Queen.

[Frank Alvarez]

When you order it, they go like iconic name for one of the Sonic drinks. And I can't remember, but they had those commercials where it was like those two guys in the car just like talking and like sipping on their drinks and stuff like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's the rollerblading place.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Where they think they're in the fucking 50s and people like, roll. But I don't remember the last time I've seen a Sonic with a proper rollerblader.

[Greg]

No, they all have them.

[Frank Alvarez]

They still have them. Yeah, that's so very up to date on your Sonic knowledge.

[Greg]

We used to go to Sonic a few times.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yep.

[Greg]

Always for the Cinna snacks.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know that when the Sonic movie like Sonic the Hedgehog came out they did like a deal where they had chili cheese dogs, which I would have been on board for. But they burnt me once.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Can't do it again. And then the most unhealthy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Reportedly the most unhealthy is Wendy's. That is.

[Joe Santagato]

I love how you started reportedly that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I don't believe it. I don't believe that. That is bananas to me.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That doesn't seem right.

[Joe Santagato]

Wendy's. I thought, you know, you get a Baconator and a Frosty and some fries chilling.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that bad?

[Greg]

I think they taste the fakest. I think. I really think they.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't agree with that at all.

[Joe Santagato]

The Baconators like the.

[Greg]

Just the. The burger? Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

That's crazy. I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't see that.

[Greg]

And they're square. It's unnatural.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean being round is also a.

[Joe Santagato]

Natural White Castle square.

[Greg]

Do you. We're saying White Catchel.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. White Castle is like eating a shoe.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're crazy. I haven't had White Castle in a while. What? I remember it was delicious going in.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, what's a while to you? Because I know they've been in your house.

[Frank Alvarez]

White Castle.

[Joe Santagato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't had White Castle in at least 15 years.

[Joe Santagato]

Roll the fucking tape.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. The frozen ones I've had. I haven't had them in a long time. I'm saying. But you had those almost most of the time. I've had frozen White Castle burgers. They were at a hospital.

[Joe Santagato]

What do you think that. But what do you think they're doing over there at White Castle? You think they don't show up to the building frozen?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not sure.

[Joe Santagato]

It's probably the same.

[Frank Alvarez]

But the bun was also frozen. Like the whole thing comes frozen.

[Joe Santagato]

What does that mean? You haven't had White Castle? You're eating White Castle.

[Frank Alvarez]

But the bun. The part of the experience is the soft of. Of the bun.

[Joe Santagato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna have White Castle soon. You're saying there's a different experience from having a fresh bunned White Castle burger?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And having a frozen bunned White Castle burger.

[Joe Santagato]

But you're having White Castle. You're.

[Frank Alvarez]

You.

[Joe Santagato]

You're making it seem like I'm not having White Castle.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I think you could possibly with. There are different things that go into. When you have to free Something and package it and sell it retail.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's different, like, shelf preservatives and stuff like that. You might not have that in the ones that are sold and cooked at the restaurant. Okay. I can't, with confidence say yes or no.

[Joe Santagato]

But you've had White Castle is my point.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, but not within the last 15.

[Joe Santagato]

You haven't been in the White Castle building.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. You brought the castle to your castle. I legitimately can't remember the last time I had. And you know me, I have a pretty good memory. I might have to break that and go to a White Castle soon.

[Joe Santagato]

The only time I remember being in a White Castle was, like, I was walking home from the movies with Keith. And, like, we had just saw Dumb and Dumber, too. Mm. And we were walking home.

[Frank Alvarez]

And why'd you walk that way?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. I was like. I think we were, like, lost.

[Frank Alvarez]

So there was one White castle in.

[Joe Santagato]

In 21st, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was on 21st Street. And, like, what is that? 34th Avenue? Broadway, basically. It was right next to that Long Island City High School.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The movie theater is on 38th street.

[Joe Santagato]

And 34th Avenue or something like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Something like that, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

You would have to walk very out of the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Out of the way is such an understatement. And also not a great place to be walking. Not at all, ever, Let alone the night.

[Joe Santagato]

I remember that. And I remember being like, I was too young. I didn't know where I was too young.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dumb and Dumber 2 came out in, like, 2015. Joey. No, which Dumb and Dumber 2 are you talking about? The prequel or the, like, legit sequel?

[Joe Santagato]

I was a. Like, I was not in high school, I don't think.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know what movie you saw, because the original, like, it's called, like, Dumb and Dumber.

[Greg]

Yeah. Dumb and Dumber.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was like a straight to DVD movie in, like, the early 2000s. And then Dumb and Dumber 2 came out, like 2015.

[Joe Santagato]

It was, er.

[Greg]

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense.

[Joe Santagato]

2003.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were not walking home from the movies.

[Joe Santagato]

I was with Keith.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. You might have been walking over in the movies at that age.

[Joe Santagato]

When is the second one come out?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like 2015. 2014. 14.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so it definitely wasn't that.

[Greg]

It was probably Dumb and Dumb.

[Joe Santagato]

Er, Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think that came out in the movies, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

I was young.

[Frank Alvarez]

Regardless, I think. I actually think the last time I was in a physical White Castle was when I saw Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen. I saw it at midnight with two of my friends and we went and had a crave case.

[Joe Santagato]

You guys just split a crate. Crave case?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think you realize. I think if we put a crave case here, you and I can finish it maybe.

[Greg]

How many is that?

[Joe Santagato]

30.

[Frank Alvarez]

30?

[Greg]

Oh, yeah, you guys will be fine.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a lot of bread.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey might have trouble with the bread.

[Joe Santagato]

Why just me? I feel like that's the most dense part of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you, you and I understand that I can eat more than you.

[Joe Santagato]

Sure.

[Greg]

But actually now I'm thinking about it, there's no way you two can do it.

[Joe Santagato]

15 each is crazy, dude.

[Greg]

I'll put money you both can't do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is there.

[Joe Santagato]

Is there one to three of us?

[Frank Alvarez]

Could there one near here?

[Joe Santagato]

If you think I'm gonna eat 10 White Castle burgers.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think between the three of us, we could do it easily.

[Greg]

Yeah, probably easily.

[Joe Santagato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's all I wanted to know.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, we could case it up to anything. Well, there you have it, folks. Hope you enjoyed this episode of the Basement Yard. Like Frank said earlier, go to the Basement Yard.com to get your tickets to our upcoming shows. We'll be posting and clips and stuff so you guys can kind of see, you know, how the show is. It's a mixture of us doing standup and then some crowd interaction stuff. And it's a lot of fun. Sometimes they're special guests, so it's great. You never know what you're really going to get. So come to the Basement Yard experience. Go to the basementyard.com. you'll see all the shows. There's tickets for certain cities left and hopefully we'll see you there. Where can they find you, Frank?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know where to find me. At the Frank Alvarez all over social media. Go. If you're coming to the shows, check out the basementyard.com submit. I don't know if you said that. Patreon. Patreon. Com. The Basementyard. We love you guys. We thank you guys and we'll see you next week.

[Joe Santagato]

See you.