Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard – #516 "Are We Gooners?"

Release Date: August 18, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez, with guest Ant Prisco

Episode Overview

In this lively episode of The Basement Yard, Joe, Frank, and Ant dive into a classic rambling Basement Yard discussion—hopping from the definition of "gooning" to wild stories about clubbing, bar hopping, and debates on eating competitions. The episode blends hilarious personal anecdotes with friendly debates, sprinkled with their candid humor and signature banter.

Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. What is Gooning, Really?

• “Gooning” Defined: The episode opens with the trio discussing what "gooning" means. Frank mistakenly believes it's a term related to gay men, which Joe corrects.
  • “Is it beating your dick in half?” (Joe, 00:57)
  • Ant clarifies that he wasn't "gooning" at the Rainforest Cafe in Minneapolis.

Notable Quotes:

• “So if I'm gay, I'm goonin'?” — Joe (01:10)
• “So gooning is just like violently beating your cock?” — Frank (02:06)
• “It's not violent. I think it's just another way of saying masturbation.” — Joe (02:19)

Timestamp: [00:30–03:05]

2. Bar and Clubbing Stories: The Glory and the Grime

Pricey Drinks & Bottle Service

• The group reminisces about overpriced drinks in clubs, bottle service scams, and the youthful desire for “clout.”
• Joe narrates his experience in Mykonos, being pressed to buy expensive bottles at a beach club.
• Strong consensus: Club bottle service is a rip-off.
• “A bottle of Grey Goose is a thousand dollars. What? Each of those people are getting one or two drinks max.” — Frank (06:13)
• “It's just such a scam... it’s all for clout.” — Frank (07:21)

Clubbing Preference Shift

• The trio agree they've moved on from clubs to preferring bars and house parties.
• Frank: “It's my personal nightmare right now. I just don't have the capacity for [clubs].” (11:09)
• Joe: “I just feel trapped and I don't know, it freaks me out.” (11:24)

Dance Floors and Bar Setups

• Discuss what makes the perfect bar: inside-outside seating, games, bar bites, convertible dance floors.
• Ant refrains from naming his favorite local bar to avoid the fan influx.

Timestamp: [03:05–19:00]

3. Local Haunts & Bar Nostalgia

• Nostalgic for days on Ditmars and favorite Astoria bars: The Ditty, River Crest, The Pomeroy, Jack Jones.
• “When bartenders give you a glass that’s like frosted, I’m like, hell yeah.” — Joe (19:11)
• The dream of being a “local,” where staff know your drink/food order by sight.

Timestamp: [19:00–24:00]

4. The Joys (and Risks) of Deli Food

• Memories of post-party bingeing at local delis, eating expired beer, and the “bodega cat” flavor.
• Joe and Frank muse about the quirky rapport and shorthand formed with deli workers, evolving almost into its own “language.”
• Hygiene talk devolves into joking about the need to get “dirty” again as a society, which turns into a tongue-in-cheek debate over body lice vs. crabs.
  • “Crabs is way cooler than lice.” — Joe (28:45)
  • “Society has just been... it’s been way cool. Please. Crabs or lice?” — Joe (29:49)

Timestamp: [24:00–34:00]

5. Red Moons, Science, and Conspiratorial Americanism

• Joe notes seeing a "red moon," leading to confusion and a light-hearted attempt at scientific explanation.
• Ant: “Blood moon occurs during a total lunar eclipse when the Earth passes directly between the sun and the moon.” (38:20)
• Frank jokes about not trusting certain scientific facts: “...if I just don't like something, I'm just not gonna believe it. And that is being American.” (40:54)

Timestamp: [37:34–41:35]

6. Deep Fears: Thalassophobia & Megalophobia

• The group explores water-related and giant object phobias, reacting to TikTok videos of unsettling underwater images and huge objects.
• Joe and Frank debate whether a giant face in the sky or underwater is scarier.
  • “If I saw that though, like a giant sea penis with teeth, I’m fucking never swimming again.” — Joe (47:18)
  • “Fear of big objects, level one, easy. That’s just a ship. Who's afraid of a shipping container?” — Frank (47:32)

Timestamp: [44:10–51:25]

7. The Great Pizza Challenge

• Hypothetical: How many pizza slices could you eat in a year if you’d get $1,000 per slice (but pay the difference if you come up short)?

  • Frank ambitiously claims he could do 700; Joe and Ant think 300–400 is more realistic.
  • Strategies are debated: “front loading” vs. spacing out slices, topping variations.

• Reflect on past food competitions (notably, a hot dog-eating summer that landed someone in the hospital).

  • “Just a good eater. I'm hungry all the time, and I'm a good eater.” — Frank (66:14)

Timestamp: [54:45–68:10]

8. Sports Drinks: Breaking the Social Code

• Ant admits to drinking Jameson cocktails at baseball games, to Joe and Frank's horror.
  • “You're at a baseball game and you get Jameson and what the—” — Joe (70:27)
• Discussion of appropriate outdoor drinks: beer, margaritas, Guinness, porters, stouts.

Timestamp: [70:11–73:14]

Memorable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Key Moment | |-----------|-------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:10 | Joe | “So if I'm gay, I'm goonin'?” | | 06:13 | Frank | “A bottle of Grey Goose is a thousand dollars. What? Each of those people are getting one or two drinks max.” | | 11:09 | Frank | “It's my personal nightmare right now. I just don't have the capacity for [clubs].” | | 19:11 | Joe | “When bartenders give you a glass that's like frosted, I'm like, hell yeah.” | | 28:45 | Joe | “Crabs is way cooler than lice.” | | 40:54 | Frank | “...if I just don't like something, I'm just not gonna believe it. And that is being American.” | | 47:18 | Joe | “If I saw that though, like a giant sea penis with teeth, I'm fucking never swimming again.” | | 66:14 | Frank | “Just a good eater. I'm hungry all the time, and I'm a good eater.” | | 70:27 | Joe | “You're at a baseball game and you get Jameson and what the—” |

Episode Flow Highlights

• The episode maintains a freewheeling, irreverent tone characteristic of The Basement Yard. The hosts bounce from accidental misdefinitions (“gooning”), to candid confessions, to whimsical hypotheticals—never shying from awkward or taboo topics.
• Genuine nostalgia emerges in discussions of local bars and delis, conveying relatable warmth about hometown routines and “being a local.”
• Even wild debates—lice vs. crabs, the maximum tolerable pizza intake—are underpinned by their friendship, letting the conversation digress naturally and hilariously.

Useful Timestamps

• 00:30 – “Are we gooners?”: Defining ‘gooning’
• 05:43 – Worst drink ripoffs
• 06:26 – Club bottle service scams
• 10:03 – Modern clubbing as a “personal nightmare”
• 16:46 – The perfect bar setup
• 24:00 – Deli connection, “deli code”
• 27:00 – “Get more dirty”: Soapless nostalgia
• 34:00 – Red moon/blood moon explained
• 44:10 – Thalassophobia and megalophobia: TikTok reaction
• 54:45 – Pizza challenge + food competitions
• 70:11 – What drinks are “allowed” at sporting events

Final Thoughts

This episode is a quintessential Basement Yard romp—plenty of laugh-until-you-snort moments, relatable arguments, and surprisingly thoughtful reflections on growing older, friendship, and the comfort of familiar spaces. Perfect for fans of off-the-rails storytelling and anyone yearning for the lively energy of friends talking nonsense and life.