#518 - A Robot Is Pregnant With My Baby

Summary

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The Basement Yard - Episode #518 – "A Robot Is Pregnant With My Baby"

Release Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Studio: Santagato Studios

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the bizarre developments in artificial womb technology ("robot pregnancy"), musings on new dictionary words and language trends, and the perennial joys of bread, family, and friendship. Joe and Frank blend ridiculous hypotheticals, raunchy humor, and playful banter, shifting from reflections on ancient Greeks to the dystopian (or comedic?) future of surrogate robots. Amid the riffing and sharp sarcasm, they manage a few thoughtful observations on technology, gender, and changing social norms. It’s a classic Basement Yard mix—conversational, chaotic, and full of laughs.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter, Ancient Greeks & Romans (00:30–03:00)

• The show kicks off with Frank jokingly pondering on "deep thinking" and how postures of thought have changed, quickly escalating into risqué comparisons between Greeks and Romans.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Frank: "What's back then Greek and Roman difference. One gets fucked in the butt, the other does the butt fucking." (01:06)
  • Joe: "I don't know that you can start with that." (01:14)

2. Travel, Pyramids & Beetles (02:00–05:13)

• Joe suggests visiting the Coliseum, but Frank prefers walking "where the gladiators were."
• Talk shifts to fears of entering pyramids, tying in movie tropes—mummies, pyramid beetles.
• Miles (Frank’s kid) finds a beetle; Joe and Frank riff on whether beetles serve any earthly purpose.
• Quick nostalgia about the children’s show "Beetleborgs" and 90s live-action favorites.

3. Superpowers & Pointless Abilities (05:13–09:00)

• Frank prompts Joe: Super strength, super speed, or telekinesis?
• Pros and cons discussed (super speed wins because of travel convenience, despite Frank adding a “super metabolism” side effect).
• Quote:
  • Frank: "With super strength…What am I going to do? Just walk around? What am I going to do?" (08:02)
  • Joe: "I would just become a lazy fat bastard" (08:20, re: telekinesis).

4. How We Think – Facial Gestures & Androids (09:00–11:24)

• Comedic breakdown of how people look when they're "thinking": chin strokes, lip-tapping, beard scratching, underbites.
• Frank jokes about feeling like "an Android in a movie," referencing the rainbow math meme from The Hangover.
• Quote:
  • Frank: "What you would expect an Android in a movie to think...You're kind of looking all over the place..." (10:57)

5. The Main Event: Robot Surrogacy & Technology (11:25–19:06)

• Joe explains rumors of Chinese scientists developing robots that can carry and birth human babies.
• Both hosts try to wrap their heads around a sci-fi surrogacy, complete with gooey fetal development visuals ("sloshy, slushy").
• Frank reflects on the "magic and beauty" of human pregnancy, questioning the emotional and practical implications of robot surrogacy.
• They have a pricing debate—will robot wombs undercut traditional surrogacy? Is there a market?
• Notable Quotes:
  • Joe: "So we just take the jizz, we put it in the robot, and the robot holds it." (12:30)
  • Frank: "There's certain things about women you can't replicate on a robot...a vagina?" (19:07)

6. Gender, Identity, and Social Labels (19:06–21:00)

• The hosts riff satirically on “white, hetero, cisgendered, upper-tax-bracket males,” including all the identity clichés—they openly mock internet labels, “liberal snowflake,” and “secretly closeted gay.”
• Quick tangent about paper/online racial identification (Frank: “Latino,” Joe: “White”) and paint-mixing metaphors for race.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Frank: "White is such a little whiny bitch" (15:46, on how adding any color changes identity categories).

7. The Price of Parenting and Surrogacy Costs (20:34–22:24)

• Detailed speculations about the cost of robot surrogacy.
• Frank: "I would say that they should price it a little more expensive, but not too much more expensive than what surrogacy is, because...you want it to be competitive." (21:51)
• Joe learns about the Chinese yuan ("the people’s currency").

8. Human Connection vs. Technological Progress (25:42–26:32)

• Philosophical moment: What do robot babies mean for family, tradition, and biology?
• Frank: “There’s a magic and beauty to carrying the children, of course.” (18:25)
• Joe: "You get rid of [the human aspect] completely. And it's just...wires and hooks." (18:54)

9. From Technology to Pop Culture & Language Trends (40:01–65:00)

• New slang and vocabulary added to the Cambridge Dictionary:
  • “Inspo,” “Mouse jiggler,” “Trad wife,” “Dulu,” “Broligarchy,” and “Skibidi.”
• Hilarious explanations, guessing games, and cultural commentary on how language evolves—especially with the internet and Gen Alpha slang.
  • “Broligarchy”: Defined as “a small group of rich, powerful tech bros” (51:57)
  • “Skibidi”: A word “that can have different meanings, such as cool or bad, or could be used with no real meaning as a joke.” (63:42)
• Digressions into the generational language gap (“Skibidi toilet”), New York slang, and nostalgia for how context and sarcasm shape meaning.
• Quote:
  • Frank: "So the definition of the word is that it lacks a definition." (63:57)

10. Bread, Butter & Comfort Food Philosophy (69:00–75:56)

• Joe and Frank joyously recount their love for all things bread: focaccia, pita, naan, sourdough, olive oil, balsamic, and, less so, butter.
• Restaurant gripes: "If you're giving me something that's meant to be spreadable, this had better be spreadable." (70:25)
• Joe proposes a "Bread Bar"—a restaurant serving only the free bread options from around the globe.
• Notable Exchange:
  • Frank: "The stuff that they give away for free but we'll profit off."
  • Joe: "Bread Bar. Copyrighted." (75:49–75:57)

11. Closing Thoughts: Inside Jokes & Generational Gaps (61:47–66:08)

• Reflections on how generational humor and internet culture can make even the coolest millennials feel outdated.
• “We’re at an age now where that shit happens…so we can’t even just be like, oh, this is an inside joke with them.” (62:36)
• John Mulaney wrestling 14-year-olds, chopped cheese advice, and end-of-episode culinary joy.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "What's back then Greek and Roman difference. One gets fucked in the butt, the other does the butt fucking." (Frank, 01:06)
• "Sloshy, slushy to begin with." (Frank, on robot pregnancy, 12:47)
• "With super strength…What am I going to do? Just walk around? What am I going to do?" (Frank, 08:02)
• "I think that making music is probably the most satisfying feeling." (Joe, 29:41)
• "Skibidi just means...it can mean cool or bad, it can mean something, but nothing." (Frank, 65:41)
• "The only tradition in my household, love." (Frank, 48:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ancient Greeks vs. Romans – 00:30–03:00
• Pyramids & Beetles – 02:00–05:13
• Superpowers Debate – 05:13–09:00
• 'Robot Pregnancy' – 11:25–19:06
• Surrogacy Pricing & Costs – 20:34–22:24
• Social Identity Satire – 19:06–21:00
• Dictionary Words Game – 40:01–65:00
• Bread & Butter Philosophy – 69:00–75:56

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Final Thoughts

This episode mixes low-brow humor, high-concept sci-fi speculation, and genuine moments of friendship and reflection. Joe and Frank's playful dynamic shines, especially as they navigate sensitive issues with quick self-deprecation and satire. If you’re a long-time listener, you’ll find signature bits about growing up in New York, pop culture, and their shared love for food—and if you’re new, this episode offers a generous slice of their irreverent yet warm conversational style.

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Summary by AI | Structured for clarity, engagement, and ease for new and returning listeners alike

Transcript

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[Joe]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. What are you thinking about so pensively over there?

[Frank]

I'm doing my. I'm doing my. Like, I'm thinking, like, I've. I've.

[Joe]

I'm. I don't know. I'm not.

[Frank]

I'm not really sure.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

That's like the thing that, like, people do now to be cool, to be like, oh, wow, that person's thinking, like, remember when we were younger, it was like this. And now it's.

[Joe]

Who's this?

[Frank]

Who's that guy? That's the thinker.

[Joe]

Is he Greek?

[Frank]

I think he's either Greek or Roman. Is he Greek? Greek is.

[Joe]

I mean, bad.

[Frank]

What's back then Greek and Roman difference. One gets fucked in the butt, the other does the butt fucking too. Too hot for the start.

[Joe]

I don't. We're in the.

[Frank]

In the beginning of the episode. I don't know that you can start with that. All right, all right, so let's back up.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

One enjoys analysis.

[Joe]

Take all this out.

[Frank]

Go back. Let's do the rewind.

[Joe]

Take that out as well. Thank you so much. All right.

[Frank]

What's the difference between the ancient Romans and the ancient Greeks? One enjoys receiving anal. One enjoys giving it.

[Joe]

Oh, I thought you were going to say something completely different. Oh, no, no, no, no. I just cleaned it up.

[Frank]

I cleaned it up a little bit. You know, I cleaned it up because anal could be a messy topic.

[Joe]

I like that. No, I think you're talking about poop.

[Frank]

Because of. Yeah, because of butts. Because of butts.

[Joe]

Right. You know, you want to go to the Coliseum. Should we go?

[Frank]

I mean, I don't. It's just an old. I mean, maybe, but if I want to walk amongst where the gladiators were, I don't want to be in the seats where the fucking normies were. Whoa.

[Joe]

I feel like you could.

[Frank]

Do they know who we are?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Do they even know who are the.

[Joe]

The Romans?

[Frank]

Let's do a show at the Coliseum.

[Joe]

It's in ruins.

[Frank]

Doesn't mean people Walk the stands. Doesn't mean they can't sit there for a show.

[Joe]

We're not doing a show at the Coliseum.

[Frank]

That would be cool, though. Oh, the walls to touch there.

[Joe]

I would have to. Yeah. I'm surprised you wouldn't like to do well.

[Frank]

That's why I think you wouldn't.

[Joe]

If we enter, if we went to the pyramids, you wouldn't want to go in.

[Frank]

No going. No.

[Joe]

The inside of a pyramid.

[Frank]

No, no, no. I. I'm fine touching the outside. You know, I'm cool with the outside walls. Here's the issue with the pyramids. I've seen too many movies about mummies. I've seen, like, I can just mumble. We stumble and mumble a lot over our words. We fall over our words.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, I just saw the clip of you trying to say much oxygen, and it took you a couple minutes.

[Joe]

Much oxygen.

[Frank]

Think about if you stumble over your words in the pyramids, you might be, like, releasing Imhotep. You know what I'm saying? You don't know what you're doing out there. You just got to be careful. And I think I'm more worried about the Beatles. Those are not real.

[Joe]

I know, but there's a lot of, like, why are they in every movie? There has to be some truth to the fact that there's pyramid beetles.

[Frank]

I'm sure there are pyramid beetles, but I don't think they, like, dig under your skin and you could see them crawling up your arms and stuff like that.

[Joe]

I'm not worried about them digging. I'm worried about, like, wings. Ew. Oh. Why? Like a. Like, not a bird. Like a.

[Frank]

Like, they open their back, and then you see, like. Yeah, like, it sounds like a helicopter. I always think of a bug's life. Remember that scene in A Bug's Life? Yes. Love that.

[Joe]

I do. That's a great movie.

[Frank]

You know what's crazy? We found a beetle the other day at the lake, and Miles opened its back shell, and he's like, it has wings. And I was like that, bro.

[Joe]

I thought that you were gonna say, he opened the wings and went, it's a girl. No, no, no, no, no.

[Frank]

Like, it felt. When he did that, I was. I said to him, I was just like, don't do that. That seems invasive.

[Joe]

Yeah, like ass.

[Frank]

Like, it was dead.

[Joe]

It was a dead beetle.

[Frank]

It was dead beetle.

[Joe]

Oh. I mean, you know, one last dead beetle. I don't care.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, be nice. Do we need beetles?

[Joe]

The Earth. Do we need a beetle?

[Frank]

I mean, you never know. They could Borg. They could beetle into Borgs. They could beetle Borg.

[Joe]

I knew you were going to make this about cartoons.

[Frank]

I'm not going to talk too much. And it was live action, by the way.

[Joe]

It was.

[Frank]

It was live action.

[Joe]

Was that the one with the purple guy?

[Frank]

Am I allowed to talk about this?

[Joe]

What?

[Frank]

Am I allowed to talk about this?

[Joe]

Because you're gonna start naming years.

[Frank]

I mean, I mean, if you want me to talk about 1997. No, you don't want me to talk about.

[Joe]

That's the one with the blue Elvis guy, right?

[Frank]

Yes. His name is Flabber.

[Joe]

That was his name, yeah.

[Frank]

Flabber the ghost.

[Joe]

You know, horrible name.

[Frank]

But, I mean, I know recently we spoke about small soldiers, and people were just like, maybe don't talk about so much about small soldiers.

[Joe]

We didn't talk about small soldiers, okay? One of us talked about it for forever.

[Frank]

We. This is a conversation. It wasn't guilty by a soc.

[Joe]

Go back and watch. That wasn't a conversation.

[Frank]

I, I, it disappeared off my radar. I don't know where it is, you know? But yes, Beetleborgs was a great show.

[Joe]

Is that the one with the girl will crack her knuckles and then turn into something?

[Frank]

Yeah. They each had, like, superpowers, and one was just, like, he could do, like, you know, like. Wait, was she that. Yeah, I think she was a strong one. One of them could move stuff with his mind, and one of them was really fast.

[Joe]

Which one would you want to be?

[Frank]

Strong.

[Joe]

Really strong. Wait, you can move stuff with his mind?

[Frank]

Yeah, but, like, what's the. What is our. You know. That's a great question. All right, Joe, super speed telekinesis. Super strength is telekinesis.

[Joe]

Like, I can.

[Frank]

You could kinesis with your tella. Yes.

[Joe]

Okay, but that's your thoughts.

[Frank]

Yes. Like, I can go like this because this is, this is the universal for using your mind.

[Joe]

Exactly.

[Frank]

You know, I mean, how many people have we seen do this?

[Joe]

I know.

[Frank]

You go like this, and you could lift up anything. But I don't know about anything.

[Joe]

Can I read minds?

[Frank]

No. Oh, that's telepathy.

[Joe]

Yeah. I didn't know if telekinesis was, like, the umbrella term for all the tellers.

[Frank]

No, the kinesis is moving something. The pathy is like the mind. Yeah, the pathy thoughts. But, like, so. Oh, that's a good question. Because here's the thing. The strength, you can lift a bunch of stuff, but you have to physically get up and do it.

[Joe]

Yeah. With the. I mean, I would definitely wouldn't Pick that one. Because I would just pick to. Is it telekinesis?

[Frank]

Yeah, but you won't be able to lift as much.

[Joe]

Why not?

[Frank]

Let's say with your. Let's see. I'm. I'm putting the perimeters on the question here. Ant's not here, so he can't do it.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's not here.

[Frank]

It's not here.

[Joe]

Well, you want to know where he is. You guys are like, oh, what happened to aunt and camera? You're not giving him any. He's at the Rainforest Cafe having Corona readers. He sent me a fucking picture.

[Frank]

He's fired. Yeah, by the way, for a little bit. And by the way, having coronaritas is an understatement. He is downing those bitches.

[Joe]

There's four.

[Frank]

Um, but like telekinesis, you can only live lift up to your body weight and strength. You can lift 10 times your body weight, which is still not that much. I was gonna say that's like that much. So you'd only be able to lift a hundred thousand pounds.

[Joe]

Was it ten?

[Frank]

The joke is you're £100 and you're five foot one.

[Joe]

Right. You know, okay, yeah, now I'm understanding. Was it super speed? The fuck am I gonna do with that super speed? Winner race cares.

[Frank]

I mean, you could go to one of our shows and be back that night.

[Joe]

That fast.

[Frank]

Super speed. The speed is super.

[Joe]

Holy shit, that's super.

[Frank]

That speed, that's super.

[Joe]

I'm taking that. Yeah, yeah, you completely cut out travel. That's insane.

[Frank]

Yeah, but with super speed comes super metabolism, which means you need to eat all the time.

[Joe]

Wait, why you keep adding stuff?

[Frank]

That's me. I'm the adder.

[Joe]

I mean, you're, you're, you're, you know, making me go pick one. Which one am I supposed to pick?

[Frank]

I'm giving you plus and minuses to each and every single one, Joey. So there's, there's, there's different.

[Joe]

You know what, that. I'm taking the speed anyway. I get to eat more.

[Frank]

Yeah, I think I might take the speed that. Because here's the thing. With like super strength, like, cool. What am I going to do with it? Just walk around. What am I going to do? Yeah, what am I going to do? Like, that's, I mean, you know, maybe in like a severe emergency, but hopefully that never happens.

[Joe]

Right?

[Frank]

Telekinesis could be cool, but also, like, I would just become a lazy fat bastard.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Frank]

So I'm with you on the speed though.

[Joe]

Yeah, I would probably do that.

[Frank]

And then you could go from just you to one of the three typical average kids that found a haunted mansion. And just like that, you're free to go. Who made you a Beetleborg?

[Joe]

Is that the song?

[Frank]

That's the entrance?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The opening song.

[Joe]

Got it.

[Frank]

You know, I. I really wish I would. I could give you homework to go and watch something and you can come back and report on it, or you.

[Joe]

Can enjoy the things that you enjoy and I enjoy the things that I enjoy. And then we share them on the.

[Frank]

Show and then we're going to. No, because part of enjoying. Part of enjoying something is to be able to.

[Joe]

Is jamming it down other people's throats.

[Frank]

Jamming is a strong word. It is just simply introducing it to your throat and then allowing you to swallow at your leisure to. Can I make one request? Can you just pick up the phone?

[Joe]

Take that out. If my dad says that, he's gonna kill me.

[Frank]

But yeah. So back to what I was saying. This is like the new thing for thinking, oh, we're going all the way back. We're going all the way. Because this is what, like, Elon Musk does when he sits down and he's. And then he says something that has no basis for truth, where he's just like, society is going to collapse because of soy. You know, like, he says something like that.

[Joe]

Right? Yeah.

[Frank]

So. But that was the old one. That was the old thinking one. Like, oh, okay.

[Joe]

Or this. I like to tap my lips.

[Frank]

You know who does that? Ruby.

[Joe]

She taps her lips. Yeah.

[Frank]

She goes like this. Because, like, I would do it jokingly to her.

[Joe]

Oh, I would.

[Frank]

Like, she has her little blankie called cozy. And I'll put it on my head and I'll be like, ruby, I can't find cozy anywhere. So now she does that to play around. She'll be like, it's very, very cute. But so we have the tapping.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

We have the chin stroking.

[Joe]

Yeah. If I had like a beard, dude. A little bit of this thinking with my beard. Hell yeah.

[Frank]

I mean, you need. Like.

[Joe]

How do you think? You just get real tight.

[Frank]

Your face gets. I got tight. I get tight. I'm just.

[Joe]

Bite your tongue. You bite anything. I feel like I bite my lip a little when I think, you know what I notice?

[Frank]

I do this. I go. I go under. Bite. I don't.

[Joe]

Does that.

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joe]

90% of the time he's like this.

[Frank]

Well, no, no, I'm not doing this. I'm going, underbite up. I'm going, you do oh, you give.

[Joe]

Yourself an under bite.

[Frank]

I go under.

[Joe]

But you know how you think? How do I think? I think I just think, like. Like, I kind of, like, I just, like, just stare into space like an idiot.

[Frank]

I also sometimes think that I think, like, a fucking. Like, what you would expect an Android in a movie to think. I'm like. You know, like, you're kind of looking.

[Joe]

All over the place.

[Frank]

And then like, in the background, you would see, like. Remember in the Hangover, where it's just like. You see, like, 3x squared plus 4.

[Joe]

You know, and all you're doing is trying to.

[Frank]

All I'm doing is trying to figure.

[Joe]

Out a director's name from the 80s that's gonna serve no purpose on this show. Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. Well, it could and might, but it could end.

[Joe]

Mike.

[Frank]

We don't know.

[Joe]

But speaking of Beetle Borgs and robots and. Would you just say droids? Crazy.

[Frank]

I say droids.

[Joe]

I think you did say droids.

[Frank]

I don't think I said droids.

[Joe]

It was like a frank word. But there are droids being created in China. I said a soft sea.

[Frank]

Here's what's going to be really interesting.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

We talked. We started off talking about butt.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And now we brought up China. What is gonna be a hotter word to drive people away from this episode.

[Joe]

But fucking think?

[Frank]

So what's more universally like butt fucking or China?

[Joe]

I don't have an answer to that question. I'm questioning.

[Frank]

I just said question.

[Joe]

I don't have an answer to that question. But China. I think it's Chinese. The scientists create. Are creating and, like, have it in beta. These, like, robots that apparently can have, like, a baby. Like, birth a baby or, like, what's it called?

[Frank]

Like a robot baby?

[Joe]

No, not a robot baby. Like, it's like a. It, like, does the pregnancy, like a surrogacy.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe]

So it's like, oh, we just take the jizz, we put it in the robot, and the robot holds it.

[Frank]

Huh. Interesting.

[Joe]

That's how you think, baby.

[Frank]

That's. Oh, look at me tapping my cheek.

[Joe]

I would be very into this if I could watch. If there was a window and I could watch it grow.

[Frank]

Well, it's just, like, sloshy, slushy to begin with.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's probably gross.

[Frank]

I mean, interesting.

[Joe]

In Men in Black, the first one.

[Frank]

I'm listening.

[Joe]

Where, like, the dudes inside the. When Tommy Lee Jones is inside the alien.

[Frank]

Oh, that was yucky.

[Joe]

That's what I imagine. It's like being in a.

[Frank]

Being a fetus and then he Shoots his way out, right?

[Joe]

He finds his gun and.

[Frank]

Yeah. That movie is a fucking like sensory overload. When's the last time you watched that movie? There's like fightings and like there's just slime and goopies everywhere.

[Joe]

That one dude freaks me out.

[Frank]

The dude? That's Vincent Camp park here. That's Vincent d'. Onofrio. Isn't that crazy?

[Joe]

What?

[Frank]

Yeah, that's Kingpin, baby. That's. That's Gomer pile, you know, that's. That's private pile.

[Joe]

That guy freaks me out also. Whatever I just did, I think I just like.

[Frank]

Yeah, you know, that's pretty good. I'm pretty surprised. We should be that for Halloween. I'll be him and you be Will Smith. I know how bad you've been looking for a Halloween costume, Frank.

[Joe]

I can't be Will Smith for.

[Frank]

Why not?

[Joe]

There's a big reason that.

[Frank]

The mustache. You would never cut just your mustache.

[Joe]

No, it starts with S and ends in kin. Color. All right, so I can't do that. Can't do it. But I could be Tommy Lee Jones.

[Frank]

Well, you just have to be aging K. He's K. Right? Agent K. You have to be like this, you know.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I think we're kind of. Here's the thing. As non child carrying, cisgendered heterosexual white.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, of a like doing well for ourselves financially. Males. Males.

[Joe]

Bait. Alpha. I was gonna say bait.

[Frank]

Alpha. Alpha. Alpha Cucks.

[Joe]

Alpha.

[Frank]

Is that it? We're not beta cucks. We're not cucks. Just make that very clear.

[Joe]

Alpha cuffs.

[Frank]

What are we?

[Joe]

So I. I don't know, something with Greek.

[Frank]

Someone's gonna yell at us on comments somewhere. Everything that we are Snowflake. Well, I mean, sure. Yeah. We are. We are liberal minded.

[Joe]

Yeah. Snowflakes in some corners of the. Of the Internet. Secretly gay.

[Frank]

Yup.

[Joe]

So that now how many things can we possibly have?

[Frank]

I mean, so we're, we're.

[Joe]

Let's go over the list here.

[Frank]

So hetero.

[Joe]

Hetero.

[Frank]

Cisgender.

[Joe]

Cisgendered male.

[Frank]

White.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Which, you know, I guess. I guess by proxy I'm. I'm part of the white now.

[Joe]

You are white.

[Frank]

I think. I think by definition I am and not.

[Joe]

What do you put on papers?

[Frank]

Latino.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

And then when it. Cuz there's. It says nationality and then it says race.

[Joe]

So wait, I think we're more white though. Cuz I'm white.

[Frank]

I'm in like a paint 50% Columbia. That's what I mean.

[Joe]

So if we put us in a Paint bucket. And we twirled it around. No, hell, more white.

[Frank]

Hell no. You'd be more of a cream, right, bro? You put a single drop of a color in white and it becomes that color. My point, white is such a, like a little whiny bitch. Hey, watch you are. You guys are little whiny.

[Joe]

I'm telling my grandma. I have to tell someone.

[Frank]

Well, you can't. Guess what.

[Joe]

I know. I can't tell her.

[Frank]

You can't tell her?

[Joe]

I can tell her when I pray tonight, dumbass.

[Frank]

You're praying?

[Joe]

I don't know.

[Frank]

So you're a God loving white cisgender. Hetero.

[Joe]

What does that mean, by the way? I'm a God fearing man.

[Frank]

Well, because I think like you're supposed to fear God. What's the line between fear and respect? This is what happens when ant's not here. We get all over the place. Us in.

[Joe]

Because he would be on the topic for 4.4seconds.

[Frank]

Yeah, it doesn't matter. He would contribute something that's like just completely nuts where he would just be like, have you guys ever like.

[Joe]

Yeah. Slapped your friend's balls.

[Frank]

Yeah. Slapped your friends balls. Because it was hurting them. Yeah, because it was hurting them. So. So yeah, so we're, I guess I'm by guilty by association.

[Joe]

Yeah. You're white. White, yeah.

[Frank]

Hetero. Cisgendered of a, of a higher tax bracket.

[Joe]

Right. Liberal snowflake.

[Frank]

Liberal snowflake.

[Joe]

Secretly closeted.

[Frank]

Secretly closeted gay. There's so much, I mean, you could probably throw at us. Wait, why do we bring millennials? We're millennials. Oh, people hate that.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, socialists. I don't know, I'm just throwing trigger words out now at this point. Socialists, you know, AOC loving. Like, oh, there goes half of our Democrat. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So we're, you know, why do we bring that up? Because I'm just gonna say, like, how do we talk about this? Because, like, we don't carry children.

[Joe]

Oh.

[Frank]

So like, I'm sure there is a group of women that are just like, oh, that's nice. Or I shouldn't even say women because that isolates. See me. There's that, there's that Libby boy. Someone blow his child bear. People that are able. Child bearing, child carrying. Able.

[Joe]

That doesn't even sound like a sentence.

[Frank]

Individuals, however they choose to identify, that are able to carry children.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

It's kind of confusing, guys.

[Joe]

No, I know what you're saying.

[Frank]

Like they might be like, oh, this is, this is cool. But then also from someone that shares Their life with a hetero White devil. No, like someone that shares a life with a woman that has bear. That has carried three children. She's bared them and paired them. Yeah, she's done a ton of, like, with them.

[Joe]

She bears them. You barely do anything.

[Frank]

But, like, I'm. I. I think the argument she would be made that she would make too is just like. That's also kind of like there's a. There's a magic and beauty to carrying the children, of course. You know, and, like, think about what.

[Joe]

A robot kid would come out like.

[Frank]

Well, it would. Would it be a robot kid or a human kid?

[Joe]

It would be a human kid, but I'm saying, like, you know, even. Even women who choose to do surrogacy in, like, another woman, there's a. There's a human aspect.

[Frank]

Sure.

[Joe]

To that.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

You get rid of that completely. And it's just, you know, wires and hooks. And wires.

[Frank]

Yeah, and other hooks. I mean, listen, there's certain things about women you can't replicate on a robot. All right, all right.

[Joe]

What are you talking about?

[Frank]

A vagina?

[Joe]

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, you could put a vagina on a robot.

[Frank]

Yeah, but not.

[Joe]

It ain't the same.

[Frank]

It ain't the same, baby. You could put. You could put a Ferrari engine in an Audi and what's going on? You know what I'm saying? I don't know either.

[Joe]

I don't know who makes the engines, to be fair.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's the Germans.

[Joe]

Yeah. Someone. Yeah.

[Frank]

No, we're good now. We're good. Stupid. We're good. We're good. We're good.

[Joe]

But the. The. The Chinese pregnancy robot, what do we.

[Frank]

Think retail that would go for? Oh, I mean, a car.

[Joe]

It's. It's bread.

[Frank]

It's. I mean, if we're. If we're doing to the American dollar, which. What is the. They got. What do they got over there? Yen? Or Is that Japan?

[Joe]

I know that Japan has it.

[Frank]

What's the dollar? What's the currency in China?

[Joe]

What is the currency in China?

[Frank]

Which. Listen, we can make a ton of arguments about the.

[Joe]

Man, I really wish I knew how to pronounce that.

[Frank]

We can make a To arguments about the effects that Donald Trump has had on our world. I will never say China the same ever again. Yeah, what is it?

[Joe]

It's cny. It's a Chinese. Come on.

[Frank]

You don't want to. You don't wanna.

[Joe]

Well, I just don't know how to say them. But it translates to the people's currency.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joe]

That's.

[Frank]

The people. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Okay, so whatever the Chinese currency is.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

What's that to the dollar?

[Joe]

How much is a surrogacy?

[Frank]

Do you think surrogacies can get up there, buddy? They could be in the tens of thousands of dollars. I would say they could start at, like, 30 to 40. Right. It's way more than that.

[Joe]

Really? Yeah, it's like a hundred to two hundred.

[Frank]

Wow.

[Joe]

You're asking someone to carry a baby.

[Frank]

That's a lot. Yeah, I guess, you know, we've been very. We consider ourselves very lucky that we were able to have three healthy, young, beautiful children.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So it's not something I've looked into.

[Joe]

Right. Yeah.

[Frank]

So if a surrogacy for human is 100 to 200.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

Hold on.

[Joe]

It's gonna be more.

[Frank]

But would it be more? Because then what would entice people to use the robot over the person?

[Joe]

I think that there's just it. I don't know.

[Frank]

Listen, let me put on. Let me take off my hat and put on my Chinese business hat.

[Joe]

It would be 718,000 people's currency.

[Frank]

But what is that?

[Joe]

American 100,000.

[Frank]

For what is robot surrogacy?

[Joe]

Just for surrogacy. Is that.

[Frank]

Wait, the dollar doing okay over there? Could we go. We go shopping in China?

[Joe]

I. I don't know. I mean, China is, like, an expensive place. From what I.

[Frank]

Really interesting. I would say if. If I have my Chinese business hat on, right. I would say that they should price it a little more expensive, but not too much more expensive than what surrogacy is, because what's the what? Like, you want it to be competitive? You could do it fucking all these, like, big tech companies like fucking Netflix. Listen. Chinese robots listen to Netflix.

[Joe]

Oh, you're talking straight to the robots.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, now we're in.

[Joe]

Oh, you're trying to form a union.

[Frank]

I'm. No. Oh, I want them to talk. I'm just trying to talk to them through me. Don't talk to Netflix, okay? Start low, and then through time every year, just increase. That's what Netflix did. Netflix was like, yo, it's $10 a month. It's. It's. It's better than cable. We have everything. And it's been 10 years, and they're like, we have nothing. We have our own programming. You best believe you're gonna watch, you know, season eight of fucking, you know, I don't know what the hell is on there anymore. And it's now three.

[Joe]

It's.

[Frank]

It's 40 bucks a month.

[Joe]

Is it.

[Frank]

Netflix is up there now to get, like, ad free.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Multiple people can use your thing. It's got to be at least 30 bucks, bro.

[Joe]

I. The only thing I've bought ever is Hulu. Everything else I have from other people.

[Frank]

You say that now until they're going to getcha. Getcha how do you still have Netflix? Someone's paying for you to have Netflix?

[Joe]

No. Whose Netflix is. I have a lot of vin. A lot of vin. Really? Yeah, my mom's cable. I can sign into, like, anything. She pays for cable?

[Frank]

Well, yeah, I pay for cable too.

[Joe]

But, like, I don't pay for cable.

[Frank]

I mean, so now what people are doing is. It's like, it's a different tier model. So, like, base Netflix is like, you can have it in three devices in your one home, or you can do it like, you know, the holy package, which will be like 30 bucks a month, and you can have up to three different IP addresses. So, like, you can have it at your house, I can have it at mine, and Greg can have it at his. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. So if the Chinese robots were smart, right? Start low.

[Joe]

You're saying they're not smart?

[Frank]

I don't know. I haven't seen or spoken to them.

[Joe]

I mean, they're. They're giving birth. How dare you?

[Frank]

Are they.

[Joe]

I don't know if they're giving birth. See, how do you give birth to a baby through a robot? Like, can you just. Yeah, can we just. Like, is it like a. Like a sale? Not a sailor? Like a diver's helmet? Like, you just open it up in the water?

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, I. I could see that being the case.

[Joe]

You know, how does it grow a umbilical cord?

[Frank]

I mean, I gotta go imagine I am. I imagine there's a lot of stuff they got to figure out and that Chinese science. Chinese science is going to take care of. The Chinese science needs to figure this out. But, I mean, there's certain. There's also innate historical things that they are not going to be able to replicate or like, they're going to have to try to replicate, because think about it. When the baby's in there, they don't breathe and they come out and it's like, so, like, how do they. How do they. Like, what do they have to do to get that?

[Joe]

Why would that change?

[Frank]

What do you mean being like a.

[Joe]

The placenta?

[Frank]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, they got to replicate a bunch of. I don't know if, you know, this pregnancy is Complicated.

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[Joe]

Frank, it's very easy. It's two steps. Yeah. In and out. Yep. No, I know, but I'm saying what you're describing is like when a baby is like growing, like from a fetus, whatever, they like their noses are blocked and. And like, like that.

[Frank]

But what I'm saying is we don't know what we don't know right now.

[Joe]

Correct.

[Frank]

You know, right now we don't know.

[Joe]

What we don't know. You know? Yeah.

[Frank]

Right now I would say the vast majority of people on this planet have been delivered via birth, whether it be cesarean, whether it be natural. But if we.

[Joe]

Sounds like a lovely rap.

[Frank]

Oh, really?

[Joe]

Really.

[Frank]

That we don't know the possible ramifications of trying to engineer that outside of it.

[Joe]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frank]

Because we haven't done it yet.

[Joe]

Yeah. So like a robot baby, dude.

[Frank]

I'd be like, bro, so what's it gonna be?

[Joe]

Kind of weird, probably.

[Frank]

You think so?

[Joe]

And like, cold. Yeah. Like, bro, you grew up around nuts and bolts. Come on.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm sure that they'll probably have like a pretty, like, high end, cushy situation in there.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. This seems like it's the obvious next step for humanity because we're doomed. But I wouldn't do it.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like if, bro, tomorrow someone would be like, you can have a kid next week, but we're gonna grow it in this Chinese robot.

[Joe]

I'd be like that, dude, no.

[Frank]

You don't want to do it.

[Joe]

No, I mean, I. I just.

[Frank]

Your son. You'll be able to watch your son grow. Or daughter. Oh, I said son first. You don't know. You don't know.

[Joe]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

I mean, don't even start with that.

[Joe]

Because I would rather a dollar.

[Frank]

I would rather a dollar than a child.

[Joe]

I'd rather a daughter because then I don't have to worry about, like, you know, not.

[Frank]

Different set of worries, man.

[Joe]

No, no, I mean, yeah, I get that. I'm prepared, I think.

[Frank]

No, no, you ain't.

[Joe]

No, I mean, like, I'm. I would rather have a daughter first so that I don't like, then whatever.

[Frank]

Well, you know what they say, Joey. Yeah, man plans. God laughs.

[Joe]

Where'd you hear that? That was your mom.

[Frank]

Like, a Tumblr post.

[Joe]

Oh, a Tumblr back in the day. Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, and, like, the picture was just like, someone, like, reading in front of a volcano or something with their socks on.

[Joe]

You know, what's. You know, which one I loved back in the day on Tumblr. She believed. And then he lied.

[Frank]

He lied.

[Joe]

And I was like, oh, you.

[Frank]

Well, wasn't that like a.

[Joe]

A.

[Frank]

A Billie Eilish song?

[Joe]

What?

[Frank]

Wasn't there a song that was like. It was that. It was like she. He cheated.

[Joe]

She believed it.

[Frank]

Heed or something, you know? Like, wasn't there a Billy Isa song that was like. Yeah, something like that.

[Joe]

I thought you were saying Billy Eilish created. She believed. He lied. I was like, there's no.

[Frank]

I mean, we don't know William Eilish's, you know, or what's. What's. What's Billy's first real name?

[Joe]

It is William.

[Frank]

Oh, it's William.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's William.

[Frank]

That's what I thought.

[Joe]

William Eilish.

[Frank]

William at.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, just to make it gender specific, because I know.

[Joe]

And her brother's name. Famous guy. Go ahead.

[Frank]

Phineas Frank.

[Joe]

I swear to God, I would have bet my house that you didn't know that.

[Frank]

Well, he should have met your.

[Joe]

God bless.

[Frank]

I would have had two houses now.

[Joe]

Yeah. Doesn't it make you feel like a piece of shit when you see, like, like, a brother and sister and they're able to be, like, both, like, very talented and very famous and make really good music and just like, do, do, do that, and you're just like, I can't even play a piano.

[Frank]

I think we have talent, Joe. I think we've. Yeah, but not. I think we've proved that we have talent. I think you're referencing all of your siblings that have none.

[Joe]

No, that's not what I'm.

[Frank]

I'm kidding. Your siblings are very talented in what they're doing.

[Joe]

That's so up. You said what you just did to my.

[Frank]

What the hell did I do? I was talking about my siblings. Oh, my brothers. They use hammers. Cool. They use hammers.

[Joe]

I think that making music is probably the most, like, satisfying feeling.

[Frank]

I could only disagree so much.

[Joe]

It's the most. It's got to be the most satisfying.

[Frank]

I think you're more that music Toppy. I'm not gonna. I'm not touching your hand for that one.

[Joe]

Yeah, right.

[Frank]

You can't talk about the. The rewarding part of sucking dick and then Expect a high five out of me.

[Joe]

First of all, I'm not. I'm not. I'm saying. Never mind.

[Frank]

You're saying, oh, receiving.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Oh, Joe, do you understand my trepidation to slap your hand on that? Sure. Okay. Well, then at least.

[Joe]

I mean, I think your trepidation should start with, why'd you think I was talking about the other way? Add it to the list. No, I. I do. Like, I think that, like, making a song just from, like, you. Like, it's nothing, and then all of a sudden, you start doing, like.

[Frank]

I can't agree with that. I think you're more of a music guy. Like, you've always been more in tune with, like. I think that's why you always loved, like, Mac Miller, because you saw, like, the Genius and Behind the Music. I feel like that. But for movies, making a movie. I feel like when you look at someone that is, like, a writer and director, I know there's a whole team of people that goes into making movies. Music could be a little smaller of a team, but, like, the people that can do, like, successful, like, writing, directing. Yeah, like that. Like, all right, let's use the show. Baby Reindeer. Not a movie, Right? He wrote, he directed, he acted.

[Joe]

Crazy.

[Frank]

That's insane.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, but I could.

[Joe]

I agree. No, I. I agree with that as well. I think that's also something crazy. I feel like the amount of imposter syndrome you have to have in order to do that job is kind of crazy, because when you're on a set, especially something like a Marvel movie, where it's like, we all look like idiots in this room, you know, like, jumping around and pretending to be, like, superheroes, like, we're three years old, dressed like this, and green screens all around. But then it comes together and it's like this incredible thing, and you're like, holy. Like, yeah, I was there that day. Like, that's me up there. Like, that must be so crazy.

[Frank]

I mean, that's why I. One of the reasons why I don't rewatch our episodes or anything like that, because, like, I feel, like, icky. Like, I feel like, who is that? What am I doing? You know? So, like, I can imagine, like, a movie or tv. Johnny Depp does that, too. He, like, doesn't watch his own stuff.

[Joe]

I've heard that about a lot of people that don't watch their movies.

[Frank]

I mean, I could see the argument of just, like, you're paying respect to the person, like, the team, because there is a whole bunch of people that goes behind that stuff. But like I wonder with musicians, do.

[Joe]

They listen to their, I guess musicians.

[Frank]

Because they have to play them when they're. Yeah, when they're performing or stuff.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That's got to be strange. How did we get from talking to about this from robots?

[Joe]

We did start where what was the first conversation we had?

[Frank]

The Romans and Greeks and thinking, all right, Romans, Greeks thinking.

[Joe]

But it was specifically about the Romans and Greeks. What was it? What was it again? You brought it up. What was it?

[Frank]

Their love of butt sex.

[Joe]

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[Frank]

Out and you know what? Whether you're sitting there, you're eating, you're drinking, you're thinking you're stinking, allow the basement yard to join you for whatever.

[Joe]

Jesus.

[Frank]

Allow the basement yard to join you. Do all those things specifically stink. Okay? Now and you can do that with us over on patreon.patreon.com. the basement yard is the website we tell you about every single week where you can get more of us and help support us directly. Okay? If you join that Patreon, that first tier, you get exclusive episodes. No, you don't. I did it again, damn it. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then for that second tier, that's where you get the exclusive episodes. I'm sorry. I messed up. Don't yell at me or yell at me, demean me. But you. Good Lord, you set up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes on Patreon every single Friday that are only for your eyes. And no matter when you join, if you're new, if you're coming back after a couple weeks, months, years, whatever, everything that has ever been on there will be at your access. Okay? So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basementyard thank you, guys. The continued growth and support has been overwhelming, and it is helping us do so many cool things and try to plan and, and, and, and it's just very much so appreciated. So thank you. And if you want to sign up and save yourself a couple bucks while doing it, go to patreon.com the basement yard on a web browser. Okay. If you sign up through any of the smart apps, you know you're going to get charged a little bit extra because they need to pay extra to whoever is allowing them to distribute the app. So go to a web browser, whether it be, you know, Chrome or Safari or whatever, and go to patreon.com the basement yard. Sign up today and enjoy the perks that come along with it. Okay, and what is one of the things that we have been able to do because of all the love and support you guys have been giving us is the live shows. We're. We're on the road. We're. We're enjoying the shows. We're having a ton of fun doing them. By the time you guys are seeing this, we just got back from. From where we're going to the Southwest. I'm not really sure. The timing is a little weird for me, but there's still some tickets available for some of our shows coming up. So if you go to the basementyard.com, check out the listing of the shows that are coming up and see what's available. If you want to make a trip out of it, whether it be a close trip, a quick trip, or a trip that might require a little more travel, you could do that. And we would love to have you along. The shows have been a lot of fun. They've been incredible. Incredible. And we love doing them. So go check it out. And if you are coming to any of those shows and you already have purchased your tickets, go to the basementyard.com submit. Okay. There's a portion of our shows that is interactive. We like to talk to you, about you, with you, and, you know, it's been really, really fun. So if you go to the basement yard.com submit, there'll be some prompts. You can fill out some interesting or embarrassing stories or what have you. And maybe we'll talk about it on stage and talk to you on stage. You never know what could happen. We've had people. We've had Olympic gold medalists on stage. We've had people talking to us about their mom having sex with their fiance. So go check it out. Or what was it? The fiance having sex with their own mom. It doesn't matter. But we get all that information because of all that stuff. So go to the basement dot com. Submit. Enjoy. Have fun. We'll see at the shows. Back to you. White. Hetero, Cisgender. White, White, white, white, white, white. I don't. I'm gonna cut you off there.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

I don't know if you saw, but we got some new words added to the Cambridge dictionary.

[Joe]

You know. I did not see that.

[Frank]

You didn't. You don't keep up with the Cambridge dictionary?

[Joe]

I don't even have it in my house. Do you have a dictionary?

[Frank]

Oh, no, no. I mean, we used to growing up. I remember that.

[Joe]

Son of a bitch. I had a dictionary.

[Frank]

I remember that. Son of a. Son of a. Yeah, because, like, we would always. My mom, anytime we would say, like, what does this word mean? My mom would be like, get the dictionary. You know, dictionaries. Now, that's like. You got a phone. Phone's a dictionary.

[Joe]

Yeah. You know, once a creator dictionary is probably pissed off. His sales are way.

[Frank]

I think it was Oxford and Cambridge.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

Those are the two big ones.

[Joe]

Right. I.

[Frank]

Why do they get to have it?

[Joe]

I think that if you make it, then you get to have it. I think that's.

[Frank]

Yeah, but, like, someone hasn't created a cooler dictionary.

[Joe]

Urban dictionary.

[Frank]

I guess they have. Technically, they have a cooler dictionary.

[Joe]

What are these words?

[Frank]

All right, so new words have been added to the Cambridge dictionary. And I want to see which of these you actually know.

[Joe]

Joey, do you think they're words that I'm not going to know? Like, they're like, interesting.

[Frank]

Here's the thing is I'm kind of projecting because a lot of these I don't, don't know or didn't know.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

And I want to know. So first one, easy. Add it to the Cambridge dictionary. Inspo.

[Joe]

Interesting. Okay. Inspiration. Duh. But we're saying it because we're shortening.

[Frank]

Well, yeah, I don't know why we're doing the. If we're adding shortened words to the dictionary, I can add 500 million. Because apparently you get.

[Joe]

We have to catch on though.

[Frank]

I mean, give me a word.

[Joe]

Father, dad.

[Frank]

You see, like that one. Already had one. But like, give me another one that like, I can shorten. Banana nanners. Throw that in the fucking dictionary. Good people use that shit.

[Joe]

I mean, yeah, you know, sammy for sandwich or baba for bottle.

[Frank]

Yeah, but that's baby talk. We had a baby talk dictionary that'd be a bajillion fucking pages long.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

But yeah, inspo, short for inspiration. Something. Especially something posted on the Internet that gives you ideas for doing something or that makes you want to do something.

[Joe]

Yeah, easy. Knew that one.

[Frank]

Mouse jiggler.

[Joe]

Excuse me? That's a word that we're adding. Yeah, Mouse jiggler.

[Frank]

We're not over in Oxford jiggler, but mouse jiggler. Yes. This is being added to the dictionary, folks.

[Joe]

Can I get a country of origin? Well, I guess ours.

[Frank]

I mean, Yeah, I mean, or English speaking countries, apparently.

[Joe]

Can you use it in a sense?

[Frank]

I was building my computer and made sure I put a mouse jiggler in.

[Joe]

There is a mouse or.

[Frank]

I was home at work and I had to make sure my mouse jiggler worked.

[Joe]

Okay. The first one sounded like you were talking about like a fan. The second one sounded like something with masturbation. So I'm very confused. Well, I mean, is it a mouse? Is it just like. Is that.

[Frank]

What's a mouse jiggler, Joe?

[Joe]

It's a. It's a fan. No, like an actual fan.

[Frank]

No, it's not.

[Joe]

What is it?

[Frank]

So it's a device or piece of software used to make it seem as if a computer mouse is moving. So it seems as if you're working when you're not. This is a new. Oh, this is a new thing for like work from home people.

[Joe]

Nice.

[Frank]

Which I imagine that people are going to. Is not cool.

[Joe]

I think, you know, I think get it. Fog it.

[Frank]

I mean, jiggle the mouse.

[Joe]

Like I know that people. I've seen a bunch of people with like really fun ways to.

[Frank]

Yeah, I've seen that too. They like rest Something like specifically on one button, very lightly.

[Joe]

Yeah. So it looks like they're constantly on. I. We have a friend that would wake up, put himself in a meeting with no one, and then go back to bed. And then his boss would be like, oh, my God, you're in a meeting at 8:00am yeah.

[Frank]

Good for you. Yeah. And then they can't join the meeting. And it's literally nobody.

[Joe]

Well, I, I had asked. I was like, can your boss join the meeting? And he's like, yeah, but he's not. And I was like, okay.

[Frank]

I mean, which is fair.

[Joe]

Like your boss is probably not going to join your meeting.

[Frank]

You'd also need to collaborate with somebody else on that because you can't just make a meeting with a fake person. I imagine they would have to be like someone else in the company.

[Joe]

I think it was more of a quiet quitting situation.

[Frank]

So are they still working for that company? I know who it is. No, no. Okay.

[Joe]

They're not.

[Frank]

Do we know if the jiggling of this.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Had anything to do with it?

[Joe]

I'm certain it did. I'm certain that that has something to do with it.

[Frank]

Okay. Trad wife.

[Joe]

Okay. This is just a word for like a traditional wife. Like, obviously like someone who's like, oh, you know what? I think I'm gonna. Or like a stay at home. Like the traditional cook, clean type of thing.

[Frank]

Literally it says traditional trad wife is short for traditional wife. A married woman, especially one who posts on social media, stays at home doing cooking, cleaning, etc, and has children that she take care of.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

Why are we renaming that?

[Joe]

I don't know. Why are we just like, what's the modern wife?

[Frank]

You know, That's a great question.

[Joe]

I don't know what that is.

[Frank]

That's a great question because I think now more than ever, women are like the breadwinners in their home. So a modern wife might mean something different than it did 30 years ago. Definitely 60 years ago.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Back 60 years ago. I don't know. I don't, I don't want to know what modern wife was back then.

[Joe]

Yeah, but so now the, the wife is just a newer version and the trad wife is that.

[Frank]

I guess. But here's the thing. Like, traditional, like this is me. This is me being. I know you hate when I do this.

[Joe]

I know what you're doing.

[Frank]

I know you hate when I do this.

[Joe]

I don't, I don't think I'm gonna hate this.

[Frank]

Traditional is subjective.

[Joe]

I agree.

[Frank]

Because traditions are different. And also it is not only different for regions. It's different based off of religion. It is different based off of race, ethnicity, societal norms in whatever country, hemisphere.

[Joe]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Frank]

So, like, how do you define what it. Like, I guess.

[Joe]

Is that true, though? Like, I think that, like, the. Like a traditional wife, if you. If you told someone to define or not define it, but, like, guess what that would mean. I feel like, sure. It's kind of what you would guess. Sure.

[Frank]

But, like, also. But who. But in that. My first argument would be, like, traditional to who? Yeah, you know, to.

[Joe]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Well, I mean, I don't know.

[Frank]

And also, you can argue it's a little disrespectful.

[Joe]

What's disrespectful?

[Frank]

The idea that a traditional wife is one that is put within these parameters.

[Joe]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't be like.

[Frank]

I know you wouldn't, because remember.

[Joe]

No, no, no.

[Frank]

White.

[Joe]

That's not what I mean. I mean, like, I don't think it's. If someone were. Were trying to offend me in some way, like, oh, you have traditional values or you have. Whatever. It's like, okay, like, you can put a thing on it, but, like. Yeah, as long as it's not like.

[Frank]

But. But there is a lot of people on the Internet that would argue that traditional values are very exclusive of certain types of people, certain roles in the household. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I think they're discriminatory sometimes.

[Joe]

I think it's okay to say something like traditional, as long as you're not at the same time saying it's wrong or right.

[Frank]

Yeah. But a lot of times traditions are held in high regard. So you are. They have kind of already planted their flag there. Like.

[Joe]

Okay. I mean, because I can.

[Frank]

No one call something bad a bad tradition. They just call it like a toxic.

[Joe]

I mean, I feel like there are times where you're like, oh, they're more like traditional and they're, you know, whatever. Like.

[Frank]

That's a good point. Sort of like what you view that. Sure. All right. I mean, listen, I think this is. These are the intellectual conversations. People come here.

[Joe]

At the end of the day, if she want to work, she gonna work. She wants to follow a dream.

[Frank]

She gonna follow her dreams.

[Joe]

All right, Traditional or not, I don't give a fuck what the dictionary says. She gonna get the bread if she want the bread.

[Frank]

You know, the only tradition in my household, love.

[Joe]

You know, here's a tradition. It's called love your wife. Yeah.

[Frank]

A partner. And you want the best partner.

[Joe]

You want your Love your partner. Thank you, Frank.

[Frank]

Gotcha.

[Joe]

You want your partner, let's move away.

[Frank]

As traditional as being that. How about it becomes more inclusive?

[Joe]

Here's your tradition. That's weird that we should get rid.

[Frank]

Of same tradition like that.

[Joe]

Yeah, that was a mistake. Mistletoes. I know. We're off.

[Frank]

Fuck you. Leave the mistletoes.

[Joe]

You love the mistletoe.

[Frank]

Any excuse to kiss my wife.

[Joe]

First of all, it's not just your wife. It's whoever walks under this thing.

[Frank]

Well, I won't kiss them then.

[Joe]

You're not being very traditional in that moment. As a rule, Frank, you kiss everyone.

[Frank]

I'm gonna. Any excuse I have to kiss my wife, I'm gonna do it.

[Joe]

No one's saying that.

[Frank]

I know what you want to get rid of. You want to get rid of kissing wives.

[Joe]

That's.

[Frank]

Get him. Right wing. I'm back.

[Joe]

You're trying to set me up.

[Frank]

I mean, I was never there to begin with. You son of a bitch. We got the right wingers back.

[Joe]

I think kissing your wife is awesome and doing the thing to your wife is great. But, like, if I'm. I'm walking by, I'm bringing the turkey to the table, and my Aunt Rose is walking by. Now what do we do here?

[Frank]

Well, listen, turkey on Christmas is crazy. Second of all, I'll meet you halfway. Let's get rid of those funny, hilarious people that at the Christmas parties, takes the mistletoe and puts it on their belt. Let's get rid of them, bro.

[Joe]

Shot.

[Frank]

Sure.

[Joe]

I've never experienced that, but I know that it is. It exists.

[Frank]

What, shooting?

[Joe]

No. Well, no, I haven't been shot, but I don't. But like, I've never seen anyone be like, oh, my God.

[Frank]

You hear that, guys? Don't shoot.

[Joe]

Joey, don't shoot me, please. God.

[Frank]

Yeah, we can get rid of them.

[Joe]

Yeah, or I'm over the mistletoe, though. It's like, oh, you got it. And it's like, aunt Doris, what is this?

[Frank]

No, I'm fine with it. I'm fine. I mean, unless Aunt Doris is coming in for like a smooch.

[Joe]

That's what I mean.

[Frank]

In between the puckers, bro.

[Joe]

You're making it seem like I'm saying you can't kiss your wife.

[Frank]

I know how much you want to get rid of men and their partners kissing.

[Joe]

Why would I do that?

[Frank]

Just trying to get the right wing people back on our side.

[Joe]

What you're trying to do is you're setting up a tick tock clip where there's music going to be playing. And there's going to be an. Frank loves his wife. And look at Joe. He's a piece of.

[Frank]

I don't make those. I'm saying I don't want to kiss my Aunt Maya or. Or. Or basement by pod Bonus. Like, it's not me. I don't do this. You're doing it.

[Joe]

You're.

[Frank]

I'm not doing it. No, I'm not doing it. It's not.

[Joe]

I'm not standing for it anymore.

[Frank]

You don't have to stand for any. You're not standing for anything right now. You're sitting down trad. You just used it.

[Joe]

Now you're using it.

[Frank]

No, it's not a real word. That was a slur. Not a real word.

[Joe]

What is the other word?

[Frank]

All right, there's three more here that I know. One of them, you know. The other two I legitimately don't know. Dulu.

[Joe]

Delusional. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

No, I know Duluth, okay? I know Duluth. It is funny. It was said in like, a cute way, like unaliving, you know, like, oh, dead.

[Joe]

The lulu on a living. That's going to make. Is it not on that list?

[Frank]

It's not on this list.

[Joe]

Give it time.

[Frank]

The last two I've heard of one of them.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

But I wouldn't be able to tell you what the definition is, and I don't think you would be either. But here's the one I've never heard of. I think you'll get it because you're a smart person. Broligarchy. That's us. The bro Lagarchy. Broligarchy is getting added to the dictionary.

[Joe]

First of all, I've never heard that word, but that's hilarious.

[Frank]

I mean, I. I'm pretty smart. I know what an oligarchy is. I know what bros are.

[Joe]

Right.

[Frank]

Doesn't take much, is it?

[Joe]

I mean, I thought the word would be like, manosphere. Don't they? They've been using.

[Frank]

There's more to. For all of this.

[Joe]

Explain the definition.

[Frank]

So the definition is a small group of men, especially men owning or involved in technology, a technology business, who are extremely rich and powerful and who have or want political influence. The word is a mixture of bro and oligarchy.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank]

That sounds like the ultimate nightmare. Yeah, this sounds like. What fucking like. What's his name? Jack Doyle, who's a little streamer.

[Joe]

Who the is Jack?

[Frank]

Who's the little streamer that, like, does, like, irl streams all the time?

[Joe]

Jack Doyle.

[Frank]

That's what I said. I don't know.

[Joe]

Oh, Jack. Yeah. Darty. Darty.

[Frank]

Okay, that sounds like Darty. What him and his boys are into is, like, they call themselves the broligarchy.

[Joe]

But the term that I usually, like, hear is, like, the manosphere.

[Frank]

What's that? It's like, that reminds me of like.

[Joe]

It'S like a similar thing.

[Frank]

If they put manatees on the sphere in Las Vegas. That. That's when. That's like the only acceptable word.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

For that.

[Joe]

It's. Yeah, but that's not it. As you can imagine. That isn't. But it's like, when it's like. It's kind of like the podcast bro type of people that are, you know.

[Frank]

I don't like that we're defining that now. No, but that's true, though. Like, the guys that are just like, listen up, all right?

[Joe]

My.

[Frank]

You do not have.

[Joe]

Bitch wife got pregnant.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. How dare her? Also, she. When I went to marry her. I have one simple question for women. One, will you accept a high value man like me? And two, did you have $400,000 in the stock market? Immediately? And if you don't, you are not a woman for me.

[Joe]

If you do have money, what man gave it to you? Idiots?

[Frank]

I mean, you know what?

[Joe]

I love asking grown men. Right? Asking grown men, being like, would you. Would you let your. Your. Your girlfriend or your wife go to the club?

[Frank]

Yeah, I'm in my 30s.

[Joe]

I won't be there.

[Frank]

I know exactly who this is, because you remember they tried to interview me in L. A last year.

[Joe]

Year. What? Wait, a person? No, no, no. I know.

[Frank]

Oh, you weren't there.

[Joe]

I wasn't there.

[Frank]

You left.

[Joe]

No, you told me about this, but it was like a person that you know on the Internet.

[Frank]

No, but it was just like one of the people I imagine is in the broligarchy. I imagine it's a brolor. He comes up to me. We're on Rodeo Drive because we're like, oh, we should, like, when, when in. When in la. Check out Rodeo Drive. Yeah, you left. And I was just like. This guy comes up to me, he goes, yo, dude, I have a YouTube show. I think I. I think I know you. The backyard man.

[Joe]

So good.

[Frank]

Yeah, you know, when they know us, but they don't, you know.

[Joe]

Backyard again. Yeah, my favorite.

[Frank]

Yeah, that was the really good one because it was a really cool show. And he's like, can I interview you for my YouTube show? And I'm like, what's it about? He's like, oh, we talk about just like, hot Topics or something. Like that or whatever. And I was just like, sure. He's like, I'm gonna ask you two questions, all right? And I was like, what are the questions? I for some reason felt inclined to ask? And he goes, well, the first one is, what do you feel would be a better investment? Crypto or gold? And I was like, dude, I know you're asking the wrong person.

[Joe]

Wait, was he filming at this time?

[Frank]

No, it was before he was filming.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

And he's like, crypto or gold? And I was just like, what's the next question? Yeah, and it was just like, the net. The immediate next question. That's where he started. The next question was, what do you think is the reason why women don't respect men? And I was like, dude, I'm not doing this. Get out of here. Like, the going from crypto and gold to women, not. That was the broligarchy. I had a brush up with the broligarchy and I made it out alive.

[Joe]

It's like, what do you think is better, crypto or gold? And it's like, all right, next question. Why are women just such a. Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, ladies. Right?

[Joe]

Yeah. So anyway.

[Frank]

So I think what makes this also funnier is the fact that, like, there's gonna be, like, an old, like, snotty British white man in Oxford. At Oxford. Just being like, so now today we're talking about the rise of the brilligarchy.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

We need to examine.

[Joe]

I will say the broligarchy is a way better term than manosphere.

[Frank]

It just. It's. I feel like it's the perfect thing to represent how douchey that whole group of people. It's pretty bad.

[Joe]

Yeah. All right, we do have some.

[Frank]

I got one more. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

Repeating what I'm saying. Dogs.

[Frank]

Dogs. Dogs, Dogs.

[Joe]

Eating lots of pasta. I ate a lot of pasta.

[Frank]

There's pasta. This phone, guess what it made out of. Dogs.

[Joe]

Dogs.

[Frank]

Well, now I repeated you because you said it first. That was weird. Get to these ads. And I got one more baby pasta.

[Joe]

Okay, we have Ridge. Okay. Ridge. They make a bunch of different stuff. They have amazing wallets, luggage, and premium everyday gear. And it's amazing, honestly. The Ridge wallet, do you have it?

[Frank]

Just in case. I don't.

[Joe]

I don't want to say, but I like, I've. Oh, my cousin has the Ridge wallet. I mean, I have the words Ridge wallet at home. I. I like the Ridge wallet. It's cool. But anyway, they are doing a legendary sweepstakes for the fifth time. And this is this time it's insane. Okay, there's two lucky winners. They will get to choose between a 280000 Lamborghini Huracan, a hundred thousand dollar Hennessy Velociraptor.

[Frank]

What is that?

[Joe]

Or a hundred thousand dollars in cash. Giant sweepstakes here, but unbelievable. So they have a bunch of different stuff with over 50 colors and styles. Ridge wallets isn't just functional, it's personal. Whether you want sleek B black forged carbon fiber, a wallet that features your favorite NFL team or one that just matches your vibe, they've got you covered. So they have a lot of things to choose from and it makes for a good gift, you know. So for someone's birthday or whatever, you can go onto their website and you could see all the products that they have and I think that people would like them, so go check them out. But like I said, it isn't just about wallets. They have everyday essentials like key cases, suitcases, rings, all built to see same this very sleek, durable design. And if you're ready to up upgrade your wallet and maybe your ride, okay, for a limited time only, head to ridge.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout for 10 off your order and a chance to win the the Lamborghini, the velociraptor or $100,000 in cash. Okay, no purchase necessary to enter but every dollar you spend get you more entries. So that's ridge.com and use the code basement. Okay. After you purchase they will ask you where you heard about them and let them know that we sent you there. So I hope that one of our listeners here who goes on Ridge and buys some stuff gets the lamborghini or gets $100,000 cash or that Hennessy Velociraptor, whatever that is. But it sounds sick. Okay, so go to ridge.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout. 10% off and a chance to win all those cool prizes. And lastly we have Squarespace. Squarespace is going to be the platform that's going to help you build your website. Your website is very important. It's your first impression for a lot of people. If you go, if they checking out your website and it doesn't look really good, they're not really going to trust the product usually. So that's going to turn them away. So you want a good looking website and Squarespace has got you covered because they have great templates, you can just click on them. It populates a website. You change out the pictures and the text and you have a Great looking website. And it depends how dedicated you are to it, but you can definitely get it done in an afternoon. I've done it before, before. All of our websites that we build are all hosted by Squarespace. So, you know, I think they're great. They also have a lot of tools that are going to help you optimize your traffic. Anyway, you can head to squarespace.com basement to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, when you use that code, basement. So go to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10 off if you're first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. So enjoy, folks.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The final word going in to the Cambridge dictionary. Skibidi.

[Joe]

Shut up.

[Frank]

That's what it says here, man. Skibidi. Skibidi's going in. You know what's crazy about Skibidi?

[Joe]

Oh, my God, I'm saying it.

[Frank]

We got. We got the young kids back now.

[Joe]

Dude. My nephew's birthday was the other day.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joe]

And someone got him a gift. And it was a Skibidi toilet. Yeah, it was a Skibidi toilet. Toilet. A toy. Toy. It was a Skibidi toilet.

[Frank]

To hit yourself with it, dad.

[Joe]

It was a Skibidi toilet toy.

[Frank]

There you go.

[Joe]

Yeah. And my mom and I have a picture of my mom. She's like. I'm like, over her shoulder because she's opening up, trying to understand. You just see a guy like this and there's a toilet and it says Skibidi toilet. I was like, what the is my mom?

[Frank]

This is. That is, I think, the first thing. And I'm sure people are gonna pull up clips of me saying this on other things, but, like, where I feel so completely removed because I think there were things that when we were younger that were like, funny to us. That like, just made no sense or we're so stupid to our parents.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

But, like, this is the first time I'm on the other end of it.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

We're like, I can't. Like, you and I used to walk around saying bread. And we thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

[Joe]

To be fair. That wasn't like something that ever caught on. It was just.

[Frank]

I know it was just you and I, but, like, that. There are things at like. Like that for that generation.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That, like, are funny now. Skibidi is one of those things where like a new thing. Kids, bro. The other day, my nephew, my cousin, I should say, and Miles were hanging out and they just go, yo. And I go, what? And they Go, six, seven. I was like. I was like, yeah, and they're like, six, seven. I'm like, those. Yeah, those are numbers, dude. Like, six, seven, one. No, I have no fucking clue what it means. Like, that's just one of those things where I'm. We're. We're at an age now. We're like, that should happen. So we can't even just be like.

[Joe]

Oh, okay, this is an inside joke with them.

[Frank]

But, like, it's an inside joke with a whole generation of kids that are not for us, bro.

[Joe]

There was a fucking edit the other day of me saying that.

[Frank]

What, six, seven.

[Joe]

Yeah, I said it on a podcast or something, and then it was like they turned it into a fucking edit of me saying, oh.

[Frank]

And it's like the go. And it's like, six, seven, and it's like, boom. And then, like, things blowing up behind you.

[Joe]

I don't know what's going on.

[Frank]

You know what it is over there. But, like, skibidi is one of those things. Yeah, Just. It's another world for me.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's just one of those, like, inside jokes that you just.

[Frank]

But what do you think skibidi is?

[Joe]

I honestly, I feel like I should know this, but I don't think I do.

[Frank]

Give it a shot.

[Joe]

I think it's just, like, a negative thing. I don't know.

[Frank]

Okay, like, what do you mean?

[Joe]

It's like. It's like an adjective.

[Frank]

I don't know, like, to describe something.

[Joe]

Is it something, like, brainless? Like, idiotic? I don't know.

[Frank]

So, like, if you were to call. Like, someone would possibly call this show skibidi.

[Joe]

Sure. Yeah. Like an adjective. Okay.

[Frank]

The definition that is going into the dictionary.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

It says a word that can have different meanings, such as cool or bad or could be used with no real meaning as a joke. So.

[Joe]

So that's not a definition. That is. That is whatever a definition isn't.

[Frank]

So the definition of the word is that it lacks a definition.

[Joe]

How can that be written into a book?

[Frank]

I have. No, this is what I mean. Like, I am so. So anything and nothing could be skibidi. I'm. I feel dulu right now.

[Joe]

Okay, well, is that, like, our dead ass? How that could mean so many.

[Frank]

No, but dead ass just means, like, it's in the confirmation. It's like, either it is. You could also. Like that.

[Joe]

That.

[Frank]

Yeah, like, really? Yeah, that's in, like, serious. Like, you're seeking out, like, the affirmative.

[Joe]

Also, there's a difference between. Between, like, I'm dead ass serious or I'm dead ass serious. Like, breaking it up. Those are different.

[Frank]

I don't know if I've heard the second one as much. Like, dead ass. Like, yo, dead ass, dead ass.

[Joe]

Kind of crazy when you think about that word. Like, that's probably a word that, like our parents are like, what the fuck is that?

[Frank]

I think the only one that I think that our parents might have been able to use as like. And it's really more just New York. I'm sure other people use this now because, like, New York culture has become like, you know, people in like, Iowa are wearing Tim's, but they're like mad that was the one for us. They were just like, huh? Like, yo, I'm mad serious.

[Joe]

Like, yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

But even that has more of a pathway to making sense because, like, it's meant to like, give like weight to something. Like, yo, I'm mad happy. Like very. You know, like, I'm mad serious. You know, like, that's what it.

[Joe]

Like.

[Frank]

Yeah, but like, skibidi just means. It can mean cool or bad. It can mean something, but nothing.

[Joe]

Yeah, that was like us growing up. We call people legends. Like, that was good and bad. So I guess. No, he's a real legend.

[Frank]

But that was just more sarcasm.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Like, this is not anything literally. It is nothing by definition.

[Joe]

Hey, I'm not gonna fight with all the people out there who. With the word skippity.

[Frank]

I mean. Yeah, cuz they'll get you. Yeah, dude, you can beat them up.

[Joe]

Not a lot of them.

[Frank]

How many you think?

[Joe]

6.

[Frank]

Did you see John Mulaney wrestled three 14 year olds on a show.

[Joe]

Did he?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Did he lose?

[Frank]

He got his ass kicked.

[Joe]

He's not a very big dude.

[Frank]

Yeah, but also, like, I think it's just like, 14 is big.

[Joe]

Like, I've seen some freshman in high school.

[Frank]

Dude, I've seen some big 14 year olds.

[Joe]

There was a freshman in my high school who played on the O line. He was £300. He would whoop my ass.

[Frank]

Yeah, but like, you never saw that because he had his show, his like, live show on Netflix and I think on the very last one he like, wrestled three 14 year olds.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

No, and like Richard Kind is in the background. Like. Yeah, get him.

[Joe]

Never seen that. You should.

[Frank]

You should check it out.

[Joe]

I'll go check out John Mulaney being wrestled by three 14 year olds.

[Frank]

Don't Google that. There. You're. You'll be on.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm not gonna google three 14 year olds.

[Frank]

I feel like we should create a new York dictionary.

[Joe]

This has been done a million times.

[Frank]

Has it?

[Joe]

Yeah. What are you typing? Are you doing it?

[Frank]

I typed in New York dictionary, but it's only giving me the definition of ny, which is New York. Yeah, but like, if it were like Urban Dictionary but just for New York, I feel like that'd be cool.

[Joe]

I think we've kind of like covered that and like you said like now with tick tock and whatever. And I feel like New York has kind of become this like, place where people are like aware of how people talk in the, the lingo and whatever.

[Frank]

It is the, the natural progression of the human race that we are just going to like, like it. It's a thing, it's an organic thing. And then a company or someone gets a hold of it and makes it like a cool thing and then it's not cool anymore.

[Joe]

Yeah, like, so it happens.

[Frank]

Didn't you tell me you once went to like a place in Brooklyn that was just like, we have like a high end chopped cheese and it's just like, fuck you.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

You know what makes a chopped cheese good? That it's basically cat food.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, I don't want a fucking wagyu brisket.

[Joe]

This is for everyone who's like visiting New York if you want to get a good chopped cheese. If you see someone taking a shit outside of a deli, you go in there right now and you order all the food. Because I guarantee it's amazing.

[Frank]

I'm not kidding. In New York City, the shittier the place looks, the better the food, bro. You walk, you see like the like Department of Health rating on the outside. If it's an A, it has good food. If it's got a B, it's probably not very good. If it's a C, incredible.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's probably great.

[Frank]

Or if the place got shut down, that food must have been awesome.

[Joe]

If you're really lucky, there's like blood on the floor.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And the same exact. Like, they have bags of chips that like expired in 2009.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Joe]

You know what I hate fucking seeing in those delis? You know they're like called like snowballs.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joe]

It's like a cake, but then it's got like sprinkles. Disgusting. And they're always from 2008.

[Frank]

Well, like the, the famous thing is that Twinkies apparently don't go bad, bro.

[Joe]

I'll tell you this right now.

[Frank]

I'll. A Twinkie.

[Joe]

Oh my God.

[Frank]

I'll take down The Twinkie.

[Joe]

Me too.

[Frank]

I'll throttle a Twinkie.

[Joe]

My mom puts them in the fridge.

[Frank]

You and your family about cold food.

[Joe]

I didn't do it. I only do it with chocolate. I put chocolate in the fridge.

[Frank]

You guys loved. But like, snacks. You love to have snacks in your fridge. You guys must have a Viking sized fridge.

[Joe]

Hold up. Do you put peanut butter in your fridge?

[Frank]

No. And people that do. I know.

[Joe]

How do they do that?

[Frank]

I don't. So stupid.

[Joe]

Why do that? We want it to be creamy, not, like hearty.

[Frank]

It's shelf stable. And if I were to put peanut butter in the fridge, it's coming out a rock, dude.

[Joe]

Yeah. Well, what?

[Frank]

Not a rock, but I mean, pretty hard.

[Joe]

Have you ever had almond butter?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

That's what I imagine. It's like, almond butter is impossible to spread.

[Frank]

But also, have you had, like, butter out of the fridge that you try to spread and then it just, like, you create a divot in your. Whatever you're putting it on.

[Joe]

I absolutely hate that if I go to a restaurant, especially if it's a nice restaurant and it's like, yo, you guys are not paying attention to the details. It turns to a snob like the guy from Ratatouille. But I get in there and it's like, you give me a piece of bread that I can't just, like, spread, and it's like, hard. And I got to like.

[Frank]

Here's the thing. If you're giving me something that is meant to be spreadable, this should better be spreadable.

[Joe]

Better be spread. Spread eagle.

[Frank]

Like when you go to. When you go to like a pizzeria or like somewhere like an Italian restaurant, and they bring the little containers of butter.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That look like they came freshly out of a butthole. You know what I'm talking about?

[Joe]

I do.

[Frank]

And you have to, like, if I open it, it better be ready to get spread.

[Joe]

It better be.

[Frank]

Because daddy's looking to spread.

[Joe]

Yeah, he is.

[Frank]

I'm not looking to put this thing on there and then it's just a ball of butter.

[Joe]

Yeah. That's so annoying. It drives me insane. I hate that.

[Frank]

Although I learned. I learned a secret.

[Joe]

What's your secret?

[Frank]

You just hold it in your hand and the warmth of your hand will speed it up pretty quick.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I mean, but like, you're making me work at a restaurant.

[Joe]

I don't want to have to hold his butter's hand. I want it to be spread eagle for me. Ready.

[Frank]

Ready to go.

[Joe]

Exactly.

[Frank]

Warm, creamy, and spread eagle.

[Joe]

Now you're talking.

[Frank]

That's how I like my butter, you know?

[Joe]

And I will say this. More than butter, more than bread and butter. The absolute best thing. And I may. And I honestly, I don't think I'm, like, late to the game.

[Frank]

I might be with you on this, so I'm ready to hold your hand.

[Joe]

The. The. The thing that's better than bread and butter is bread with olive oil with salt and balsamic in there.

[Frank]

My fucking dog.

[Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

This is my fucking boy. And it doesn't even need to be balsamic, because Greek restaurants will do olive oil and red wine vinegar.

[Joe]

Just something else.

[Frank]

I am like, just such a simple, like.

[Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

Dude, Nothing. Where did we go recently that they brought out focaccia and just a fucking pail of olive oil.

[Joe]

Yeah. And I fucking drowned myself in dunk. Yeah.

[Frank]

Where was that?

[Joe]

I don't know, but I could literally not stop.

[Frank]

Oh, in Detroit.

[Joe]

Oh, right.

[Frank]

That's where it was.

[Joe]

I. I can't stop eating it.

[Frank]

And you know what makes me feel better is olive oil is good for you.

[Joe]

Probably not in the amounts that we were having it, but.

[Frank]

No, no, People drink olive oil, like, shots of it and like that, but, like, if it's not fried, it's good fats. Yeah, it's good fats.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, I'm with you there. 100.

[Joe]

I love it.

[Frank]

I'll take olive oil.

[Joe]

Good on butter. Like, I don't. Like, I don't put it on my pancakes and like that.

[Frank]

I like butter.

[Joe]

Yeah, but, like, I like butter too, but.

[Frank]

But if it's. If you're gonna put spread eagle soaking wet, horny like butter.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And just, like, in a. Like, you know what I'm talking about? Like a good olive oil.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

With some seasoning in there.

[Joe]

Yep.

[Frank]

You know, you don't need salt because the. The vinegar is gonna give. Add a little salty to it, but.

[Joe]

Oh, my God. Scared me, sir.

[Frank]

The shit out of me.

[Joe]

Holy shit, sir, you scared me. Okay. But. Yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah. About to say it again with the spread eagle. The butter being spread eagle.

[Frank]

I want this butter's fucking pussy out. Yeah, I'm talking.

[Joe]

No, no, no.

[Frank]

Yeah, you know. You know what I'm talking about.

[Joe]

Of course I do.

[Frank]

What are you talking about? Wait, I just want to make sure. I want to confirm we're talking about this.

[Joe]

Oh, I'm talking about olive oil with.

[Frank]

What's it called? No, no, no. How do you like your butter?

[Joe]

Oh, the butter just ripped open. Yeah.

[Frank]

Ripped Open.

[Joe]

As far as it can go.

[Frank]

Ya.

[Joe]

Open butter. We. That's the kind of butter I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spreadable. Oh, yeah. Creamy. He's got.

[Frank]

He's leaving now. He's leaving.

[Joe]

But.

[Frank]

Oh, good times.

[Joe]

Yeah. And a good bread. Oh, yeah.

[Frank]

Don't give me, like, hard bread. Well, not even just hard bread, but, like, I want bread that's just, like, fresh. If you're giving me cold bread.

[Joe]

No, this better be warm.

[Frank]

And it better be a focaccia.

[Joe]

I'm down. Yeah, a pillowy focaccia.

[Frank]

Or you know what? I don't know if you.

[Joe]

You.

[Frank]

We've gone to. And I'm sure you in your private life has also gone to Mediterranean restaurants.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Or Middle Eastern.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

When they just bring out complimentary, you know, baba ganoush or hummus or, you know, what's the other one I'm looking for? What's the other one? The. The with the green in it.

[Joe]

What?

[Frank]

With the green with the taboule. Oh, and just hot off the press.

[Joe]

I love Peter.

[Frank]

Peter Bread.

[Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

Or. Or. Or non.

[Joe]

Non bread me. You know what garlic non is?

[Frank]

Yo, yo, yo. Let's open a restaurant.

[Joe]

Okay, see, See, this is what you go.

[Frank]

Oh, why? Why you go too far? All right, a bar. Let's open a bar. And they have no, like, entrees, but it's just different. Bread and bread. You can do a bread butter. Like, here's like an American. Like an American sourdough loaf. Or you can do like, pita and olive oil. Or you can do like, naan and like, butter chicken sauce.

[Joe]

You want to start a restaurant with the stuff every other restaurant gives away? Yeah.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The stuff that they give away for free but will profit off.

[Joe]

A bread bar. Sounds fantastic.

[Frank]

Bread bar. Bread bar.

[Joe]

Copyright.

[Frank]

Copyrighted.

[Joe]

Copyright infringement. I don't know.

[Frank]

Patent pending.

[Joe]

That was hysterical.

[Frank]

That was really good.

[Joe]

Oh, my God. What is that guy thinking?

[Frank]

Beauty happens when ants. Not here. We miss him. But beauty.

[Joe]

Beauty finds a way. Yeah. Well, there you have it, folks. Hope you enjoyed the ride. That was a lot of fun.

[Frank]

That was.

[Joe]

I had a good time. Frank, where can they find you?

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joe]

You guys can go follow the show at the Basement Yard on Tick Tock and Instagram. And like Frank said, go to the basementyard.com. there's still tickets left to some of our live shows. We'd love to see you out there. And that is all. See you next time.