#519 - We Have A Foot Fetish

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #519: "We Have A Foot Fetish"

Date: September 8, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez, Ant
Studio: Santagato Studios

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Basement Yard is classic Basement Yard chaos: an unpredictable blend of confessions, comedic hypotheticals, and heartfelt moments. Joe, Frank, and regular guest Ant trade stories about weddings, dance floor anxiety, and ranking their own skills as party guests. The episode’s title isn’t clickbait—an extended, hilarious foot-licking hypothetical becomes the centerpiece, sparking the kind of riffing only lifelong friends can pull off. Along the way, there are touching moments about growing older, vulnerability at family events, and tangents about AI, Will Smith, and the art of slinging simplistic insults.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Wedding Guest Ratings, Dance Floor Performance, and Social Anxiety

[00:36 – 08:51]

• The guys open with a debate on how they'd rate themselves as dancers at weddings.
  • Frank: "I think I'm a solid 7.5." (01:27)
  • Joey: "I would put myself at a seven, though." (05:00)
  • Ant: "I'll take six." (01:33)
• Discussion spirals into what makes a great wedding guest—balancing bar time and dance floor time.
• Open bar strategies: Frank likes to sample a variety, while Joey is content with sticking to whiskey-soda.
  • “If you stick to the same drink all night at an open bar, that’s criminal.” – Frank (02:39)
  • “You need at least two different drinks. I’d say at least three on an open bar.” – Frank (02:50)
• They share stories about blending in at weddings with diverse music, including Joey miming the Spanish lyrics to “Gasolina” to impress Italian guests.
• Dance circles are a source of social anxiety and bravado alike:
  • “When a circle forms... Top five most stressful social situations of your entire life.” – Frank (06:58)
  • “The only time I will advocate for peer pressure ever is when it involves a dance circle at a wedding…” – Frank (07:50)

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2. Dancing at Weddings: The Unwritten Rules

[08:51 – 13:38]

• The guys rant about the “novelty” of dance circles and karaoke, and how being too good at either is “a dick move.”
  • "If you’re getting in a dance circle and you’re like... legit breakdancing, you can’t." – Frank (08:19)
  • “You should always be kind of bad. Because we’re all kind of bad.” – Joey (08:24)
• They extend the analogy to karaoke: “If you're really good at singing, you don't go to karaoke and belt one out.” – Joey (08:34)
• Tangent: Why are rodeo bull riders called clowns, and how dangerous is rodeo clowning?
  • Rodeo clowns make surprisingly decent money: “Estimated annual salaries between 50 and 70k.” – Ant (12:23)
  • “If you’re worried about this bull trampling your knees? I'm worried about my heart and lungs and skull.” – Frank (12:46)

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3. The Power of Crew & Performing Together

[13:38 – 15:36]

• The hosts agree: a strong group boosts your wedding dance-floor score.
  • “When you got a good crew… it brings your dancing abilities and your wedding dancing guest skills plus five.” – Joey (14:16)
• Past performances together are recounted, including their high-energy rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
  • “Our dancing and entertainment skills are so good, we crossed the bounds of questionable sexuality.” – Frank (14:55)

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4. Party Accessories: Jackets, Suspenders, and Emotional Transformations

[15:36 – 18:36]

• Frank leaves his suit jacket on as a dancing tool; Joey loves the dramatic “Kurt Angle” suspenders move.
  • “When I have suspenders, dude, I can’t keep my hands off them.” – Joey (16:08)
• Wedding emotions: the guys reflect on crying at weddings and the impact of deeply personal moments.
  • “It was like they did a human sacrifice in the middle of the dance.” – Joey (16:55)
  • “When you have your first child, don’t even—you are over.” – Frank (24:42)

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5. Rabbit Holes, Glory Holes, Donut Holes—Ranking “The Best Holes”

[19:41 – 21:01]

• Absurd interlude: The gang riffs on different kinds of “holes” (rabbit, glory, donut, pee, blow, black, worm…).
  • “I just have to round out this Mount Rushmore of holes.” – Joey (20:26)
  • “Blowhole’s a good… is a good hole. That’s a solid hole.” – Frank (20:36)

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6. Viral Family Videos & Future Teary-Eyed Moments

[21:01 – 25:25]

• Viral videos of emotional parents naming babies or giving wedding speeches get everyone in their feelings.
  • “I went down a rabbit hole... telling people they named the baby after them.” – Joey (21:11)
  • “A father giving a speech at his daughter’s wedding, but 20 years prior, he had recorded a video like, ‘I’m going to show this to you on your wedding day.’” – Frank (22:39)
• Frank worries about holding it together at his children’s future weddings.

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7. THE GREAT FOOT-LICKING HYPOTHETICAL: How Much Would You Do for a Million a Lick?

[31:04 – 49:00] (Major Segment – Core of the Episode)

• Ant asks: “For every foot you lick, you get a million dollars. But you can’t tell them why. How much money do you think you could get in a year?” – Ant (31:13)
• Relentless strategizing: They debate methods (public pool drive-bys, video shoots, fake businesses, Craigslist, salon schemes), the technicalities (“Is it the bottom of the foot?”), and personal limits.
  • “Everyone I know, I am licking their foot.” – Joey (32:24)
  • “A million a foot, bro! You’re being a poor businessman right now.” – Frank (41:17)
• Philosophical questions: How many is “enough”? Is it worth the social fallout? Does fame help?
  • “After 100, what’s another hundred?” – Frank (67:17)
  • “My first strange foot that I lick will awaken a monster.” – Joey (39:15)
• Physical demonstration: The trio attempts (successfully) licking their own feet live.
  • “The easiest money I ever make in my life, dude. Yeah. It’s licking the shit out…” – Joey (45:06)
  • “I think a realistic amount that I could get done in a year is whatever 365 times two is. I think I can do two a day.” – Frank (38:34)
• They riff on variants: “What if the deal was you had to let people pee on your foot for a million?” – Joey (48:19)
• Foot versus pee fetishes, the prevalence of each, and best/worst methods for “collecting” licks—hilariously dissected.

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8. Will Smith, AI-Generated Audiences, and Internet Skepticism

[54:31 – 61:10]

• Frank brings up a trending controversy: Are crowds at Will Smith’s concerts being AI-generated in promo materials?
  • “People are debating online if the audience is generated by AI... the movements of the people, it looks a little AI.” – Frank (54:45)
  • They scrutinize video clips, pointing out weird crowd behavior and malformed faces—uncanny valley territory.
  • “If I’m his publicist, I’m… this doesn’t look good.” – Frank (62:53)
  • The debate veers into how little control celebrities actually have over their promotional material.

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9. Quentin Tarantino’s Foot Fetish & Simple Insults

[65:27 – End]

• Joey and Frank debate Tarantino’s well-documented foot fetish—specifically his cameo in From Dusk Till Dawn.
• They close by praising the comedic value of simple insults (“fatso,” “fat ass,” “swine”), calling back to childhood nicknames and joking about reclaiming old-school terms of endearment/abuse.
  • “Fatso is so good because it’s so meant to just be extra disrespectful.” – Frank (69:27)
  • “I’m a big fan of jerk. Like, you’re being a fucking jerk.” – Joey (72:38)
  • “I love, are you an idiot? Like, now I’m asking you.” – Joey (73:48)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Dance Circles:
  “When a circle forms... Top five most stressful social situations of your entire life.” – Frank [06:58]
• On Wedding Versatility:
  “I like to think I’m perfect.” – Frank [02:09]
• On Wedding Drinks:
  “If you stick to the same drink all night at an open bar, that’s criminal.” – Frank [02:39]
• On Dancing:
  “If you’re really good at singing, you don’t go to karaoke and belt one out.” – Joey [08:34]
• On the Viral Foot Lick Challenge:
  “My first strange foot that I lick will awaken a monster.” – Joey [39:15]
  “The easiest money I ever make in my life, dude. Yeah. It’s licking the shit out.” – Joey [45:06]
• On Social Media & AI:
  “If I’m his publicist, I’m… this doesn’t look good.” – Frank [62:53]
• On Simplicity in Insults:
  “Fatso is so good because it’s so, like, meant to just be extra disrespectful.” – Frank [69:27]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:36] – Return to the podcast and dancing self-ratings
• [01:20] – Open bar strategies at weddings
• [05:00] – “Gasolina” story and pretending to fit in
• [06:58] – The horror of being pushed into the dance circle
• [13:38] – Teamwork boosts dance floor confidence
• [16:55] – Emotional moments at weddings and crying
• [19:41] – Mount Rushmore of “holes” debate
• [31:04] – The “lick a foot, win a million” game begins
• [39:15] – Joey’s “monster awakens” quote
• [45:06] – Actual foot-licking demonstration
• [54:31] – Will Smith and suspicious AI concert crowds
• [65:27] – Hidden post-credit bits and Tarantino’s foot cameos
• [69:27] – Fatso/fat ass as top-tier insults discussion

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Recap & Tone

The episode rides a wave from playful and raunchy to surprisingly poignant, perfectly in line with The Basement Yard’s established voice. The core “foot fetish” hypothetical becomes a freewheeling exploration of greed, social taboos, friendship, and the lengths people will go for a payday. Even as things get out of hand (including on-air foot-licking attempts), there’s a grounded affection and camaraderie that keeps the show relatable and real—even when discussing the merits of “swine” as an insult or breaking down the ethics and logistics of making fortunes via foot-licking.

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For listeners who missed the episode:
This is classic Basement Yard—equal parts wild, warm, and weird. If you love ridiculous hypotheticals, off-color banter, and the more human side of lifelong friendship, this one’s a must-listen.

Transcript

[Frank]

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[Joey]

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[Frank]

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[Joey]

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[Frank]

Welcome back to the baby.

[Joey]

Welcome back to the basement yard. What's up, Frank?

[Frank]

You know, being me, chilling, doing what I do, having one. Two, two, two, two, two Fired. And how about you?

[Joey]

You want to. You want to give it a go?

[Ant]

I think I could do anything better than that, so.

[Frank]

Anything better than that. Anything is a stretch. You get what?

[Joey]

And you also don't have ideas.

[Ant]

One of those.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

These?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

See, I always wish I always. I try to do that.

[Joey]

How well do you think you can dance out of 10?

[Frank]

What style of dance? Now we need just you.

[Joey]

Just you. Just a dance.

[Frank]

Like, just like if someone were to come to me, watch me dance at a wedding and rank me as a dancer.

[Joey]

You know what? I knew you couldn't answer this question. I just knew it in my heart. You as like a whole, like, what you think? Like, how good of a dancer am I?

[Frank]

You know, I. I think I'm a solid 7.5.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

What about you?

[Ant]

I'll take six.

[Frank]

Whoa.

[Ant]

I can move.

[Frank]

Really? Yeah, a little bit.

[Joey]

I did not expect. I'm going to give you a beat.

[Frank]

I'm going to give you a beat. Oh, wait. You got hips, though.

[Joey]

You could throw your shit around in a cirque.

[Frank]

I got hips. I would love to go to a wedding with you. I would love to because I feel like you would be a top tier.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Wedding guest.

[Joey]

You would be hitting that bartender up, though.

[Ant]

That final word was very important.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So are you more bar or more dance floor or are you a perfect melding of the minds?

[Ant]

I'd like to think I'm perfect melding of the mind.

[Frank]

I like to think I'm perfect.

[Ant]

I go to the bar and then I'll go dance for a little bit. And then when I'm like. I was like, oh, I need another drink. Go to the bar.

[Frank]

What's your.

[Joey]

All right, good.

[Frank]

Now I know I've been open and vocal about my drink approach while at a wedding. Open Bar, top tier.

[Joey]

You just do, like, whiskey and soda or something, right?

[Frank]

Yeah. Jameson and ginger with a penis. What is it again?

[Ant]

I think you knew it was not that.

[Frank]

Yeah, all night.

[Joey]

All night.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And then you won't do, like, a beer, though.

[Ant]

If someone else gets it for me, I'm like. I'm not gonna be like, am I.

[Frank]

Crazy for thinking that with an open bar, same drink all night is criminal. That is criminal.

[Joey]

I think you need to have, like.

[Frank]

You need at least two different drinks. I'd say at least three on an open bar.

[Joey]

Fine. I mean, you do like, he does every spirit.

[Frank]

I do.

[Joey]

He does beer, he does rum, he.

[Frank]

Does vodka and, like, whiskey, tequila, Brandy. I've ordered.

[Joey]

Brandy's bananas. What are you, on the Titanic?

[Frank]

I've been at a wedding and ordered, like, brandy. Let me get your finest brandy.

[Joey]

The guy's like, this is a wedding. We don't have it.

[Frank]

What are you saying? It was Dominic's wedding, and they did have it. Oh, well, that wedding, they definitely had it. But, like, I feel like you need to diversify. Diversify your portfolio, diversify your ability to be a great wedding guest.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

Can I ask you a question? Yep. Where do you think you are for dancing?

[Joey]

I. I mean, I feel like I'm, like, probably in, like, in between. I feel like we've.

[Frank]

We've.

[Joey]

We've ruined a dance floor before many a time. Yeah. You know, I did, famously, at Greg's wedding, have a gay dance off with a couple. Me and Danny versus these two guys, and we beat him. Wow.

[Frank]

How do you. We beat two gay guys?

[Joey]

Which is, like, high pr.

[Frank]

How do you out gay.

[Joey]

Gay dancers, dude, I have no idea. But I didn't. I. I didn't say that we won. There was. There was people who are like, yo, you guys killed it. And I was like, wow.

[Frank]

Oh, well, hold on.

[Joey]

Also, there was a lot of champagne in me. I don't even know if that was me out there.

[Frank]

First of all, just because someone says you killed it doesn't mean you won. Because, like, two. Two, like, listen.

[Joey]

I mean, that's.

[Frank]

Barry Bonds killed it in 2001. Was that the year?

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

He was a home run hitter. Let's be very clear about what Barry Bonds did in that year.

[Joey]

But he didn't Mr. October, not Mr. September.

[Frank]

October is somebody else. Reggie Jackson. But he didn't win the World Series that year. Giants didn't win.

[Joey]

They lost. No, it was. It was told to me also. Greg has said it multiple times. He's like, you guys won that thing, so I don't know.

[Frank]

Well, you know what? That feels like A fair, like, evaluation. If the person whose wedding it is tells you you won, you won. But I'm just more curious because I've seen gay men dance, and, wow, some.

[Joey]

Of them can move, let me tell you.

[Frank]

I would.

[Joey]

I would put myself at a seven, though. You said seven and a half.

[Frank]

I say seven and a half.

[Joey]

You said, what, 6.1 or 6?

[Ant]

Six.

[Joey]

Six.

[Frank]

Six. You know what puts me a bit ahead of you, and I think you would agree with this, is when they play Spanish music, I could fake it a little bit, like a little bachata when they.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's because you're not around Spanish people.

[Frank]

No, even when I'm around Spanish, like.

[Joey]

You'Re usually around the whites. They're Long island whites, dude.

[Frank]

Yeah. First of all, you just got to.

[Joey]

Go like this, and they're like, oh, my God.

[Frank]

Yeah. Long island whites are dangerous whites.

[Joey]

Hold. Sorry. I was at Gio's mom's wedding.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Joey]

And Gasolina came on bang. Right. So now I'm around Italian whites. Right. For the most part, yeah. So he comes on, and I just obviously, like. I don't know the words to that song, but the beginning of it, I was just doing that. And then I remember. I forget who it was, but someone looked at me, it was like, whoa. Like, they were, like, impressed that I knew the words, and I was like, they don't know that I don't.

[Frank]

Well, you don't let them know.

[Joey]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frank]

Here's the thing, though. Italians are, like, the Hispanics of Europe, so I think you're okay.

[Joey]

There is Spanish people out there.

[Frank]

Yeah, but Spain doesn't really count.

[Joey]

That's a big statement, for sure.

[Frank]

I get it. But, like, the Spanish people in Spain.

[Joey]

Don'T count is what you're saying.

[Frank]

No, but we're gonna move on. Hispanic. No. I think that I've been around at, like, parties where it's also, like, my father's side, where it's a lot of Colombians and it's a lot of Hispanics. And, like, I could get. I'm good enough to get lost in it, you know? Like, I can. You're not gonna spot me and be like, wow, he sucks.

[Joey]

Yeah, I can blend.

[Frank]

I'm Bingo. And I think that's. The art of dancing is, like, you need to be able to blend with whatever's on blend.

[Joey]

And then also, when it's your turn to get in the Middle of the.

[Frank]

Circle, in the circle.

[Joey]

Don't embarrass yourself. That's all.

[Frank]

Listen, if a circle forms. This is not. And this is. There's no hyperbole in what I'm saying here. Top five most stressful social situations of your entire life.

[Joey]

Social situations.

[Frank]

When a circle forms.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

It takes every ounce of whatever you have in your social battery. You need to let it all out. You need to be spraying your battery all over that circle.

[Joey]

There's other ways to say that. I also think that being, like, one of the outgoing people in the group, everyone looks right at you, and it's like, well, I know I'm gonna get pushed in the center of the circle.

[Frank]

It's a burden.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That us outgoing people are us extroverts. It's bare.

[Joey]

It's a gift and a curse. There's no. And it's also way worse when people are pushing you.

[Frank]

You're like, no, no, no.

[Joey]

Now you look like an idiot. You gotta get in there.

[Frank]

Yeah. Like, if they're pushing you, give in to it.

[Joey]

You gotta give in. It's worse to fight.

[Frank]

The only time I will advocate for peer pressure ever is when it involves a dance circle at a wedding or event involving dancing.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Because that's when it's just like, this is your moment.

[Joey]

Yeah. Just let it go.

[Frank]

Just let it go. And, you know, it doesn't need to be anything crazy. No one's asking you to sit there and fucking spin on your head.

[Joey]

Yeah. I don't need that.

[Frank]

You just need to go with it.

[Joey]

I would even go as far to say that if someone gets into the middle of a dance circle and they're really good, that pisses me off.

[Frank]

This isn't for you. If you're getting in a dance circle and you're like, legit break dancing, you can't. You're not supposed to be.

[Joey]

You shouldn't be great at dancing in the middle of a circle. You should be always kind of bad. Because we're all kind of bad.

[Frank]

It should be. When you go in, it should be like a novelty. Not like you're showing off.

[Joey]

Yeah. Just like, if you're really good at singing, you don't go to karaoke and belt one out.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You got to be, like, amateur.

[Frank]

You have to. You have to understand the audience. If you're a professional dancer and you're dancing professionally in a dance circle, people are just gonna scoff at you.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You think old drunk Aunt Margot is not gonna look at you and say, who the fuck does this Loser think he is.

[Joey]

Yeah, like take it easy.

[Ant]

Or if you're really good at bull riding.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

That's your contribution.

[Ant]

What do you mean don't get on the bull? If you're good at bull riding, like at a bar.

[Joey]

How many times are you gonna end up in that situation.

[Frank]

Where you're on a bull? I think if you're good. How many professional bull riders even exist? I think if anything, that's the one fucking exception. If you're a bull rider, show the world what you got. Because a bull riding. Here's the thing with different. Here's the major difference between bull riding and a dance circle at a wedding, okay? One of them is meant to embarrass people. The other is meant to celebrate them.

[Joey]

Bull riding.

[Frank]

Oh no.

[Joey]

Oh right. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Because people like, oh, go. Let's see how you can get bucked off.

[Joey]

Yeah. You know, bull riding is for drunk white girls, which is great.

[Ant]

I was online to bull ride once and the guy in front of me won shots for the whole bar because he did so good. I walked right off that line.

[Joey]

That's a smart idea.

[Frank]

That is a genius.

[Ant]

Walked right off that one.

[Joey]

Right off that.

[Ant]

Right off that line.

[Joey]

How long was he up there?

[Ant]

I think 20 seconds. You win the shots for the bar.

[Frank]

20 seconds, brother. I could buck for fucking hours.

[Joey]

I would probably like. I honestly not even drunk. I think I would be so confident that I could do 20 seconds. And I mean there is a chance that I fall off and get a concussion for sure.

[Frank]

Well, you fall on fluffy. Fluffy mat.

[Joey]

Yeah, but it might toss me, I.

[Frank]

Don'T know, into the stands, bar area.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

No, I think if they gave me like. Cuz they could be dicks, they could be pieces of shit. Turn it up to 11.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

If you give me the. The same treatment as everybody else. That's a Betsy over here as Betsy and drunk Margo. She came to this one too.

[Joey]

Margo's crazy drunk aunt Margot.

[Frank]

If you give us all the same treatment, you know, 20 seconds.

[Joey]

I could do 20 seconds on a real bull.

[Frank]

No, real bull. No.

[Joey]

I wouldn't even sit front row at one of those things. I'd be so scared.

[Frank]

Yeah, those things are crazy. I just. I think.

[Joey]

Imagine being a rodeo clown.

[Frank]

Yeah. How the hell did someone start that? How is your job fucking with bulls? As a clown?

[Joey]

Yeah, like one. You don't need to be a clown. Actually a uniform. You don't need to paint your face.

[Frank]

Joey. Joey won't do it. I'll take it A step further. Just don't be a clown.

[Joey]

Well, that's what I mean. Like, you don't need to be a clown. There needs to be people there that are going to distract this thing so he doesn't just step on the head of the guy who gets.

[Frank]

Any time you see someone get bucked off, there are people that run out like, oh, whoa, whoa.

[Joey]

Yeah, those are the clowns.

[Frank]

No, some of them are dressed like clowns. Maybe it's just because other writers that are waiting to be the clown, like the rodeo person.

[Joey]

No, those dudes are waiting to go next. They're not out there. You could get flipped by this fucking.

[Frank]

Wait, so a rodeo clown is just like one of the, like distracts the.

[Joey]

Thing after the guy falls off.

[Frank]

Oh, is it? But do they need to be dressed like clowns or is that just the name of the like, is that the title of the position?

[Joey]

That's the whole conversation we're having. I'm saying yes. I don't think you need to be dressed as a clown.

[Frank]

Oh, I thought you meant like just a clown that decided to also do the rodeo.

[Joey]

That's not how you get that job.

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joey]

Can you look up how much rodeo clowns make?

[Frank]

I'm a little confused and I think you understand that I'm a little confused.

[Joey]

Well, yeah, I mean, they're called rodeo clowns, but they're the ones that like, when people get flipped off, they distract the bull to like, get them away from this guy who probably broke his fucking back.

[Ant]

We have some estimated annual salaries between 50 and 70k.

[Frank]

That's not bad.

[Joey]

Solid. Yeah.

[Frank]

Dangerous though, I imagine. Very dangerous. 70k is a rodeo clown, bro.

[Joey]

Also, they wear like n knee pads, but like, no helmets. I would be wearing a helmet.

[Frank]

Yeah, I'd wear, I'd wear those bulletproof vests is what I'd wear. Those like bomb diffusing suits. Yeah, I wouldn't wear knee pads.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I mean, you're worried about this bull trampling your knees? I'm worried about my heart and lungs and skull.

[Joey]

I think they're worried about getting sent up in the air and landing on their knees and blowing out both their knees.

[Frank]

So, I mean, that's a tough. I guess the bulls, they, they, they, they kind of do that.

[Joey]

Know, you ever see a bull just flip a guy? It's terrifying.

[Frank]

Dude, did you watch the, the most recent Jackass movie?

[Joey]

I've seen him get flipped by bull so many times. I can't believe he keeps doing it.

[Frank]

No, I think that Was the last. I think that literally Johnny Knoxville, that, like, was like, that is my retirement right there. He got flipped upside down and like he was like trying to swallow his tongue. Like he was snoring.

[Joey]

Oh, I did see that.

[Frank]

He was like, literally, like, like.

[Joey]

That's terrifying, dude.

[Frank]

Yeah. Shit's crazy.

[Joey]

I'm not with bulls.

[Frank]

I don't with bulls. Back to the wedding. Dancing actually involves both of us.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

Just. I believe I'm a 7.5, right? You say you're a 7.

[Joey]

7.

[Frank]

You say you're a 6. When you got a good crew, it's like, you know when you play like Marvel ultimate alliance and you pick the Fantastic Four and all of their stats get like a plus 10, I think. You know, I definitely.

[Joey]

But that might be a.

[Frank]

All right. If you play Red Faction and you pick like all Russian tanks or some.

[Joey]

Now you've named a game even older than the last one.

[Frank]

It's something you know, though. Alright. If you're playing, what's it have to be?

[Joey]

A video.

[Frank]

All right, well, you know what I'm talking about, like when you and you.

[Joey]

Got a crew that you vibe with a rhythm.

[Frank]

A rhythm?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That brings your dancing abilities and your wedding dancing guest skills. Plus five. Yeah, plus five. You and I, when we did it was, I think, the last Top of the Hill party we went to together.

[Joey]

Oh, God, that was great.

[Frank]

Bohemian Rhapsody was on and we performed it naturally, as we do.

[Joey]

I don't think that you. It could come on without us doing.

[Frank]

We were so good.

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

A real, like a gay man up there came up to us and said, you sure you guys aren't gay?

[Joey]

I don't remember that. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

[Frank]

You know what I'm talking about, but.

[Joey]

I don't remember that he said that.

[Frank]

Our dancing and entertainment skills are so good, we crossed the bounds of questionable sexuality.

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, that seems to be a consistent. You know, because now it's also happening on the Internet.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, I'm saying that is just based off of our talent.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank]

We're such good performers. People go like, gotta be gay.

[Joey]

Right. I'll take it. I mean, it's a compliment.

[Frank]

Yeah. I'm not upset by it.

[Joey]

Yeah. I'll take it.

[Frank]

A little bit of this. Ah, you got to start off here.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, drinking hand.

[Joey]

I tell you what, boy likes to sweat at weddings.

[Frank]

And by boy, you mean you boy.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You're the boy.

[Joey]

I am?

[Frank]

Yeah. I'm not a sweaty boy. No, I'm good. I keep My, Honestly, I keep my, my suit jacket on for most of the wedding.

[Joey]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

I keep it going, man.

[Joey]

You leave it on?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Why?

[Ant]

It's a good tool to use when dancing.

[Frank]

What do you mean that, See, now that doesn't make.

[Joey]

What do you, what do you mean as a tool?

[Ant]

It's like a nice little, like.

[Joey]

Oh, you flap your shirt, like, when.

[Frank]

You'Re coming onto the dance floor. You're. You throw it back like Amadeus.

[Ant]

Something like that.

[Joey]

Okay, I can see that. I do like that. I like. Oh, when I have suspenders, dude, I can't keep my hands.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, they're suspended.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Hear the suspenders also.

[Joey]

There's nothing. Like, once I start really feeling it, then one of these.

[Frank]

Oh, you take it down, like in game time. Like your Kurt angle.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You go full. Exactly like Kurt angle on a dance floor.

[Joey]

I do. You ever see that dude on Tick Tock that, like, chops wood and he, like, takes off his things and that's like, yo, you know he's about to split this.

[Frank]

No. Does he split it?

[Joey]

Yeah, he does every time.

[Frank]

That's pretty impressive of him.

[Joey]

Every time.

[Frank]

I, I, I don't go, I think I don't need accessories, babe.

[Joey]

That's not a need. It's just, I like.

[Frank]

You know what I think makes me a better, like, entertainer, dancer, guest at a wedding that I go from crying to dancing. Snap of a finger.

[Joey]

Crying is underselling. What you did at the last wedding that we were at, Frankie, was. It was like they did a human sacrifice in the middle of the dance.

[Frank]

I think was very, I get very emotional.

[Joey]

Did you have any alcohol in your system at that point?

[Frank]

Probably, yes, yes. We, I mean, we were drinking that whole day, but, like.

[Joey]

Oh, so that's probably. I know. It's a multiplier.

[Frank]

No, it. Honestly, because, like, when we got to the venue and we saw our friend and his bride seeing each other for the first time.

[Joey]

You did cry.

[Frank]

I cried then, and I was maybe a drink deep at that point. Yeah, I just, I love, I love the love that I have, and I'm so excited for the people that I love to potentially have that love.

[Joey]

And I get that because I was crying too. Yeah. There was just a very big difference.

[Frank]

I, it's also, like, different for the people. Like.

[Joey]

I think your dad, who also is a very emotional guy. Yes, he is. Who's probably crying. I think your dad at one point was looking at you and being like, what is going on?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Because Frank was, like, sucking in wind.

[Frank]

No, hold on, hold on. You were crying. Hold on. I was. You know, that's where I was. I was. And you were throwing your hands up, like. I don't know. It was like. Yeah, I was throwing my hands up. This was someone that I've known my entire life. This is the two people in my life that I have known the longest in my life is you and him.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And it was emotional because, again, I am seeing someone that I have spent my entire life with, basically, as. As friends, as basically a pseudo sibling stepping into a new.

[Joey]

Into a marriage phase of life also.

[Frank]

So fucking beautiful, dude.

[Joey]

Not only that, but I think what really gets it going is the fact that his brother, who was the best man. Oh. Is more of a reserved type of guy. Like, not super loud or super talkative or anything. And deliver a good speech and, like, was, like, crying through it. And, like, that gets me. Yeah. I could go to a wedding where I don't know anyone, and if the best man starts. Or like, the maid of honor starts crying in the middle of speech, I'm.

[Frank]

Gonna be like, oh, I'll tell you. I mean, maid of honor crying. I get over that. Because you've heard. You've heard one maid of honor speech, you've heard them all, you know what I'm saying? There was a girl on TikTok that did it, basically summarizing all them, but it's just like, oh, my God, I can't believe the girl that used to smoke cigarettes with me back in high school is now getting married. Yeah, you've heard them all, you know what I'm saying? But now I have the added layer of speaking like the father speaking about their daughter getting married. And let me tell you.

[Joey]

No, no. Oh, God, bro. Oh, my God. I. I didn't even tell you this was. Speaking of crying, I. I went down a rabbit hole. Of these videos, one of the best.

[Frank]

Types of holes, may I add.

[Joey]

I mean, what. What other vagina hole? Pretty good. General is awesome.

[Ant]

Glory.

[Frank]

Just move on. Just move on. Just move on. Joey. Just move on.

[Ant]

My bad.

[Joey]

You've seen a glory hole.

[Frank]

I've seen a glory hole. Live large and in public.

[Ant]

Yeah. No.

[Joey]

What a crazy question asked.

[Frank]

Yeah, mister, I'll fucking try it.

[Joey]

He said, top three.

[Frank]

It's on the podium.

[Joey]

You're giving it bronze up there. Yeah.

[Ant]

Was that what we said?

[Joey]

I mean, I named vagina hole.

[Frank]

Vagina hole.

[Joey]

Rabbit hole.

[Frank]

Rabbit hole, yeah.

[Ant]

Glory.

[Joey]

Glory hole.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I just have to round out this Mount Rushmore of holes.

[Frank]

I guess that I would say blow Booty hole.

[Ant]

Oh.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah. Blow hole.

[Frank]

Blowhole's a good. Is a good hole. That's a solid hole.

[Joey]

What about a.

[Frank]

Oh, donut hole.

[Joey]

Donut hole.

[Frank]

Donut hole.

[Joey]

I said pee hole. I don't really like pee.

[Frank]

Holes suck. They have one purpose.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Black hole.

[Joey]

Black hole, black hole.

[Frank]

Oh, black hole, sun won't you go.

[Joey]

That's a good hole.

[Frank]

That's a great song.

[Joey]

Wormhole.

[Frank]

Wormholes scare me. Black hole is better. I know you're afraid of the black holes.

[Joey]

Don't say that.

[Frank]

I.

[Joey]

Oh, I went down a rabbit hole. And it was. It was a compilation video of people having a. Like, they're in the hospital with a newborn.

[Frank]

Nope.

[Joey]

And they're telling they, like, whoever person, like maybe their best friend or their brother or sister or whatever, that they named the baby after them.

[Frank]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Joey]

Like this. Like this? Yep. Like this. Yeah. Dying. Yeah. Oh, meet whoever.

[Frank]

It's like, what? I saw one. He was like. It was like my stoic father, you know? And they named him after. And he was just like, what? What? What? What? And then there was one where to get work.

[Joey]

There was a guy on Facetime. They're like, do you want to know his name? And he's like, yeah, what's his name? And they're like, tex. And he was like, yeah. And I was like, I'll be honest with you.

[Frank]

I meet a baby named Text. Text. I hate that baby. Yeah.

[Joey]

Honestly, a baby named Text? Was he work at a gas station?

[Frank]

He's a baby. Come on. Who is this child? Meet my child. Text be like, shut up.

[Joey]

Jesus Christ.

[Frank]

Let me see his fucking. You know. Yeah.

[Joey]

Where's his work truck? Jesus.

[Frank]

Let me see his Yosemite Sam tattoo. You know what I'm saying? So random.

[Joey]

Yosemite Sam tattoo.

[Frank]

No, I. I've gone down those rabbit holes. I saw one that shot me in the back of the head. Speaking of hole left a hole where my fucking brain was.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

It was a father giving a speech at his daughter's wedding, but 20 years prior, he had recorded a video of like, I'm gonna show this to you on your wedding day. One day. Oh, no way, dude. I shut. I had. I'm not even kidding. I did. What is the equivalent of putting my phone down violently? Which was.

[Joey]

Wait, what was in the video?

[Frank]

He's, like, talking to her, and he's.

[Joey]

Just like, oh, he was talking to her when she was a little girl.

[Frank]

He's so the video is him holding a baby on his lap. Oh, n. And he's Like, I, you know, one day you might find someone that you want to spend your life with.

[Joey]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

And he's like, talking to her, bro.

[Joey]

What a bastard.

[Frank]

Long story short, the other day Ruby put on like a children's wedding dress. And I have a picture of it.

[Joey]

I know that's getting kept. There's underwear from second grade, so I.

[Frank]

Know that's getting kept in the same sentence as my picture of my daughter.

[Joey]

That's fair.

[Frank]

I won't even begin to even explain where my brain has went with those pictures.

[Joey]

Dude, that's gonna be a rough day. We're gonna have to hire someone to follow you around.

[Frank]

I'm not even kidding. Worried about, like, you've seen me at one of our friends. I don't know how I'll react at your wedding. I don't know. Maybe I'll be like, numb at that point to the world. I don't know. But like, at one of my children's weddings. Nah, I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't.

[Joey]

I held our friend's baby recently. They have a newborn that's been home for like two weeks or something. You. And I held the baby and I was like, am I gonna cry right now? And like, also the way that she was describing, like, the experience, she was like, it was so amazing and, you know, blah, blah, and I'm holding this baby and I'm like, oh, my God, like, I'm gonna cry. And then I didn't.

[Frank]

But I was like, I have said.

[Joey]

This just slept on me for an hour.

[Frank]

I have said this since I had my first biological child. When you have your first child, don't even. You are over.

[Joey]

I'm not gonna be able to get through sentences.

[Frank]

You are gonna, you are gonna be a fucking puddle of a human being.

[Joey]

I, I, I.

[Frank]

You're gonna look at little.

[Joey]

Don't give it a name.

[Frank]

Tex and Walrus and Bingo.

[Joey]

And Bingo.

[Frank]

That's what you named your child in our Patreon episode.

[Joey]

Oh, I don't remember that.

[Frank]

Where we did the, the reenacting the lines from Bingo. Bingo, that's your baby. Bingo. You're. It's gonna be, it's gonna be quiet.

[Joey]

It's gonna be a tough day for sure. Anyway, what were you talking about? Glory holes. And now we're here. Now it's kind of weird, I guess. The only way, the only.

[Frank]

The basement. You are the only podcast where within a two minute time you can go from debating your favorite holes to talking about how you're going to react when your daughter gets married.

[Joey]

Right. And the only way to realistically transition out of that is to get to the end.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey]

Some sponsors for today. The first one being stamps.com okay. Stance.com it brings all the amazing services of the post office right to your fingertips. You can buy and print official US Postage right from your computer, phone or other smart devices and you get incredible rates. So you find discounts that you can't find in person, like up to 89% off USPS and UPS rates. You're also saving some time because you don't have to drive to the post office, maybe wait in a line or anything like that. So it is more efficient in more ways than one. And if you have a business like an E commerce business or anything and you're shipping out things a lot of, then this is going to be very helpful for you. Okay? So you can spend less time on busy work and more time on your business. With stamps.com, just go to stamps.com, click on sorry. Go to stamps.com basement for a one month free trial plus free postage and a digital scale. That is stamps.com basement. Okay? And if you have any questions they offer 24. 7 support. So anything you need to get, you know, your, your packages shipped out and ready to go. Like I said, that is stamps.com/basement. Okay? For the one month free trial plus $5 in postage in a digital scale. Okay? Stamps.combasement we also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket.

[Frank]

Okay?

[Joey]

They're going to help you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. They have a budgeting tool to make sure you're being financially responsible that month. And they also have a feature that you can upload pictures of your bills and they can help you lower them and if possible. So it's all about putting money back in your pocket. And their dashboard is great because you put in all your stuff and you could track your spending. And again, like I said, you can find stuff that you're like, wait, why am I still paying for that? Or I don't remember signing up for that. And you kind of cancel those things. Make sure you can put that money back in your pocket. They have 5 million members and they have saved a total of 500 million in cancel subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps premium features. So cancel your wanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter the show name Basement yard in the serveway. When they ask who sent you, don't wait down the Rocket Money app today and let them know you heard from our show.

[Frank]

Thanks. I appreciate you throwing that over to me. I chimed in with the hobby. You people ever heard of Basement yard Patreon? Yeah. If you sign up today, you'll get awesome stuff. And if that first round of us signing up, you get with that first tier of your Patreon.

[Ant]

I was very curious how long he keep it going.

[Joey]

I was gonna. I was like, is he gonna do the whole song? That's what I was.

[Frank]

I don't know the name. The first of all, the name of the whole song is just like I write sins, not tragedies or some like that.

[Joey]

Whatever that is.

[Frank]

It's a great song. But what do we do? It is a great song. And you can listen to that song coupled with Baseman Yard Patreon. If you sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes. You heard it before when I was talking about that episode where we reenacted some really awfully delivered movie lines. Well, you could watch that as well as hundreds of other episodes available at your convenience, dating all the way back to the very first one to whatever comes out next week, this week, whatever. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard. We want to thank you guys for getting us to over 34,000. That's a lot of people, paid patrons. It has done so, so well. And it's because you guys are giving us the love and support and we want to make sure we're giving you more of what you like, which apparently is us. So thank you. And listen, the BASE VR boys, we're on the road dogs. Hell yeah. We're actually, as of recording, we have some shows in Phoenix and Las Vegas. And after that we're gonna be heading to Ohio in Ohio 67 and.

[Joey]

Good.

[Frank]

Lord, listen Good Lord. If you want to come to any of those shows, check out what is still available. If you go to the basement.com, check out the show upcoming shows, see if there are any tickets available to any shows near you or if you want a trip, make, you know, a weekend out of it. That'd be fun too. We'd love to have you there. The shows have been really fun. We've been having a great time. We've been getting really good at it and. And we love to see you guys there. So thank you. And go check out to see if there are any tickets [e-mail] and if you are coming to any of those shows, you can go to thebasemanyard.com submit. Okay. And you could submit responses to any questions. There's a portion of our show that we like to be interactive. And if you submit a response that's interesting, cool, daring, spicy, whatever it may be, we might pick it and talk to you about you, with you, whatever. So go check it [e-mail] submit. We love you. We thank you. We appreciate you. It's been a fun time. Let's keep the good times rolling Let the good time roll. What's that song? Is that it?

[Joey]

There is something there.

[Frank]

Let the good time roll. Right?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

The good times.

[Joey]

Something like that. Yeah.

[Frank]

Is that. Is that the song?

[Joey]

I. I think so. I don't know.

[Frank]

Good Time Roll.

[Joey]

I think we're gonna find it.

[Ant]

I have a question for you boys.

[Frank]

Oh, boy, here comes an aunt question. Which. Which of my famous glory holes do you want to visit first?

[Ant]

Okay. It's.

[Frank]

So you get.

[Ant]

You have a whole year to complete this. For every foot you lick, you get a million dollars. But you can't tell them that you get a million dollars when you lick the foot.

[Joey]

You're asking me how much money I would make from that? Oh, hold on.

[Frank]

What's. What are we counting as a lick? Is this a lick or is this a lick?

[Ant]

That one.

[Joey]

I don't give a shit if it's. I have to put my. The whole foot in my mouth. I'm making bread that year.

[Frank]

Well, see, now. Now that's what Joey's needs to be because you could find what. And what is the foot? What is that question? What is the foot? The foot is. It's a specific part of the foot. Can it be any part of the foot that I could lick the foot? So it could be the top of the foot.

[Joey]

It's a foot.

[Frank]

It doesn't need to be the bottom of the foot.

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

So I don't need to be licking on the bottom of the foot. I could be licking on the top of the foot.

[Joey]

I don't know where to go from there. I'll tell you this right now. Wait, if I.

[Frank]

If so. So people have two feet, right?

[Joey]

Is it like one foot per body or can I do both feet?

[Ant]

One foot per body. But your own counts.

[Joey]

My own count.

[Frank]

Oh, my own counts. There's a million.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

So how many. How much money do you think you can get?

[Frank]

Oh, I'm easily making seven million.

[Joey]

That's seven, bro. I might get 50 million.

[Frank]

Joey, bro, I'm tricking. Joey, Joey, Joey, Joey.

[Joey]

Everyone I know I am licking their foot.

[Frank]

But wait, can I tell them why I'm licking their feet? No, I'm not allowed to tell them, so they just need to be like, yeah, I'm cool with you licking my feet. You'd be surprised for all. It's Joey, though.

[Joey]

It's this summer.

[Frank]

Don't let you lick their fucking balls. They don't care.

[Joey]

No one's licking balls. But in the summer, dude, at the beach, Just insane.

[Frank]

So. But you have to. Are these consensual foot licks?

[Ant]

As in, I feel like you could trick them. I think that's fair.

[Joey]

But like, if my.

[Frank]

If, like, get me in a public pool.

[Joey]

Like, if Frank would just had his foot out, right? If Frank just had his ill. If Frank just had his foot out. Can I just walk over and lick it without saying anything to him?

[Ant]

Yeah, why not?

[Joey]

Okay. Yeah, no, I'm making bread that year.

[Frank]

I think I would make a good amount of money. I think I am at least walking away with seven million though, guaranteed. Because I have my three kids.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And Becca.

[Joey]

Yep.

[Frank]

That's for you two. Myself, bro. You're gonna tell me you wouldn't. I don't even tell him. I know. I just need to go, yo, I want to lick your foot. And you'd be like, okay, I don't need to tell you what it's for. But you're. You're. Can I.

[Joey]

If you let me lick your foot, I'll give you like a G. Oh, no, no.

[Ant]

You can't offer money because you're getting money.

[Joey]

Yeah, cuz. Yeah.

[Frank]

But say I'm about to make a billion. Can I put. Yeah, if that's the case, then yes, I'd be. I'd be a millionaire. Well, I guess one foot.

[Ant]

I think it's easier to lick my foot than it is to get him to lick his foot.

[Frank]

I could guilt trip him. I, like, I could say anything to lick your foot. Like, yo, I can't tell you why, but I need to lick your foot. You'll understand in a couple of years.

[Joey]

I don't respond well. What, in a couple of years?

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know how long I'm gonna get the money. I mean, sometimes he was at net 30, net 50.

[Joey]

I mean, I would honestly just go up to people and be like. I would just make something up. Like, did you see this thing? Like. Like, I went to the foot doctor, and they have this like. Like, I would just make.

[Frank]

He's gaslighting people into making them. He's lying, literally.

[Ant]

So, I mean, yes, in that process, you'd be like, oh, did you see this new thing appearing on people?

[Joey]

And I would just. I would just lick their foot and then have them be like, what the are you doing? You're weird. And I'd be like, whatever, Cash. You know, like, as soon as I can get them to take their foot off, like, hold on. Like, there's a bone that means this. And then, like, it could, you know, whatever. And then I would take their sock off, and I would lick any part of the foot that was close. And then I would be breaded the fuck up.

[Frank]

I know how the easiest way to do this would be like. Be like, yo, call everyone I know for a big Santa Gato Studios video, everyone has to sit in a reclining chair and put their bare tootsies because it's per foot. So with you, I get two feet.

[Joey]

No, he said one per body.

[Frank]

Oh, one per body. All right, that's fine.

[Ant]

Some people don't have two feet.

[Frank]

Call 20 of our people friends in to be in a Santa Garo Studios video. And I'm going down the line.

[Joey]

I'm looking, I'm looking like, any bro. Anybody.

[Frank]

Nah, you're crazy for any foot, bro.

[Joey]

Any foot.

[Frank]

I can show you some feet. Pull up some feet. Pull up.

[Joey]

Oh, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna, like, lick a. Like a dirty foot.

[Frank]

All feet are, in essence, dirty. So what you're gonna tell them, like, yo, I need you to clean your feet, and then daddy's coming down to go to Licktown. First.

[Joey]

First of all, I will say this. No, I get kicked out. I was gonna say I would just go to, like, a salon.

[Frank]

That's what I said. I said public pool. You could get away with getting kicked.

[Joey]

Out and going to jail, bro. You can't lick a stranger's foot, like, in public like that.

[Frank]

You're going to a salon. What, you think there are different rules?

[Joey]

I stopped myself. I was like, I'm not gonna do that.

[Frank]

I think I could pass off of licking a drive by lick in a public pool better than you can in a salon.

[Joey]

We gotta have rules about underwater licking.

[Frank]

Why? Why is that? Why? Why there rules on underwater licking?

[Joey]

Because you need to have the oils of the skin on your tongue.

[Frank]

You still get them. They're just diluted in the water around the oil.

[Joey]

That's what I mean. Dilution now we're talking about dilution. This is not fair.

[Frank]

Is dilution a word?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Yeah. I think you're overestimating how many licks you're gonna get in that pool.

[Frank]

Send me to a Vegas pool party. Oh, yeah, it's gross. But guess what? I'm walking out a couple million dollars.

[Joey]

Animals count.

[Ant]

No, that's a great point. I think the first, like, few months, it's going to be tough. But that last month where I'm like, I only have a month left.

[Joey]

One. I know. I'm calling out people I haven't talked to from high school and being like, chill.

[Frank]

All right? Honestly, what is $1 billion? It's a million million or it's a thousand million?

[Joey]

It's a thousand.

[Frank]

A thousand. So you need a thousand feet. For a billion dollars, I can get.

[Joey]

300 people to a wedding. I'm licking every one of those feet.

[Frank]

Nah, see, that's crazy.

[Joey]

I'm licking every foot.

[Frank]

I think people I know.

[Joey]

I'm licking every foot.

[Frank]

And who's the richest person on the planet? Elon Musk. He has 450. So let's say 500 billion. So that is how many. So if 1,000ft is $1 billion, 5,000ft will get me to $500 billion.

[Joey]

Frank, why are you even going as high? What's the point?

[Ant]

Five billion.

[Joey]

You're not going to lick a thousand feet.

[Frank]

I did math wrong. You're right, though. So let's just say I did a thousand in a year. That's three a day. Dude, I can. I could lick three feet in a day.

[Joey]

Dude.

[Ant]

Three a day. So many.

[Joey]

Three a day is a lot.

[Frank]

I don't need to tell them I. You said that. I just can't tell them it's for money. I can tell them it's for anything else. Yeah. Yeah. So I just be like, listen, fucking onlyfans. Are you kidding me? Craigslist? And just please let me lick your feet.

[Joey]

First of all, you were getting mad at me. Now you're going on Craigslist. Well, I would.

[Frank]

I would vet the feet. I'd be a foot vetter.

[Joey]

No, dude. But I am. I'm. I'm definitely licking every foot that I know. Every foot I know is getting licked.

[Frank]

But how are you gonna get them to allow you?

[Joey]

I'll worry about that.

[Frank]

Any means necessary.

[Joey]

And I don't even need to. They don't have to let me. If they just need to be barefoot around me and I'm diving on it.

[Frank]

Like, I'm literally just diving how would you dive on them, bro?

[Joey]

Literally.

[Frank]

Show me how you would dive.

[Joey]

Doing that. Shit gets clipped and memed, and it's too crazy now. Yeah.

[Frank]

I think, if we're being honest, I think a realistic amount that I could get done in one year is whatever 365 times two is. I think I can do two a day. I do. I think I could do two a day.

[Joey]

724.

[Frank]

That's. No.

[Joey]

Is that not 724?

[Frank]

365 times two.

[Joey]

Oh. Oh, no. I think. I don't know why I said 360.

[Frank]

360 times two is 720.

[Joey]

730. Yeah.

[Ant]

730 times a.

[Frank]

Times a million. $730 million. I could do that.

[Ant]

So he thinks he gets $730 million. What dollar amount you think you get, bro?

[Joey]

I. I mean, honestly, like, my first strange foot that I lick will awaken a monster. Like, I literally will then be like, I already did it, and now everyone's.

[Frank]

Getting you already, and I already slept with the monster.

[Joey]

I mean, I'm. Why put on a raincoat when you're already soaking wet? At that point, I'm licking every foot I can get.

[Frank]

That's such a good point.

[Joey]

I honestly may set something up, like, a fake business about, like, feet and.

[Frank]

Just have, like, wait, here's the thing. We need to remove. We need to remove a certain part from this.

[Joey]

I'm making bread.

[Frank]

We need to remove a certain part from this. Our obvious notoriety and celebrity on the Internet puts us at an advantage. Realistically, if this were an actual thing, the smartest thing to do would put. Be to put out a video on our social saying, like, yo, let me lick your. Let me lick your feet. Like, show up to this place once a month or once a week. I'm gonna be in Central park at this bench. Damn.

[Joey]

You're gonna do it in Central Park?

[Frank]

Yeah, why not? I might as well look at beautiful nature while I'm sucking on toes.

[Joey]

Bro, I'm making a million just by looking at my own foot. I mean, I would rent a space, have some privacy.

[Frank]

Geez, privacy? Now you want privacy? Now you have pride. You're sitting here sucking any dog that comes through your.

[Joey]

First of all, I'm trying to make it nice. I would invest in, like, where I'm.

[Frank]

You're Joe Santa Gato. People would jump at the opportunity to have Joe said, I got to lick their feet.

[Joey]

First of all, I wasn't even considering any of that. I'm talking about. I would. If I. If someone Came in here to fix the ac, I would be like, I don't even know if I can.

[Frank]

You wouldn't need to, though, dude. You wouldn't need to. You would put out one APB like, yo, fucking foot alert, Central Park. And you would have thousands of people right there.

[Ant]

How do you vet the people that already came? Now he's wasting licks.

[Frank]

No, I mean, you can write down. You know, I'm not even worried about that.

[Joey]

Yeah, literally, if I, like, triple licked somebody, it would be worth the.

[Frank]

Like, if I got a line. Bro, Bro. A million a foot, bro. You're being a poor businessman right now, and I'm a little surprised I'm not.

[Joey]

Being a poor businessman talking about numbers.

[Frank]

Listen, if I wanted to get. If I wanted to do this, seriously, if Elon Musk came in and he was like, all right, listen up. And he made it an actual deal, I would go on Instagram right now and I would say, yo, meet me in Central Park. I'm going to lick people's feet.

[Joey]

You wouldn't do that.

[Frank]

Why not?

[Joey]

Because you just wouldn't.

[Frank]

I kind of don't like the idea, but if it's for a million dollars, I figure it the fuck out.

[Joey]

So where does it stop, though?

[Frank]

After a certain amount of time, I could be like, you know what? I've done, like, 400 people today.

[Joey]

I don't believe that you actually do that. I don't believe that you actually do it, because again, you can't say why. Now you're Frank from the basement yard who set up a foot licking thing in public and licked people's feet all day.

[Frank]

Yeah. Oh, so what? Fucking David Blaine could swallow gasoline and fucking Criss angel could live a whole week in a ball of ice, but I can't go into Central park and lick a couple souls.

[Joey]

First of all, both David Blaine. Second of all, yeah, those are very different. Because if you're licking well, I mean, at that point, it doesn't matter. You don't need the podcast. You don't need the career anymore.

[Frank]

Exactly. If I had $700 million, yeah. People could say whatever the fuck they wanted to say about me. And they will say, and they. They do. And they will, will. So at that point, who gives a fuck? I would have enough money to stay off social media for the rest of my life.

[Joey]

I would even go as far as to buying, like, a $30 million house.

[Frank]

Before I licked.

[Joey]

Like, after I licked my first foot, which is my own. I'm securing the house and setting a goal for myself and I'm looking at a real estate fucking agent's feet at.

[Frank]

The door, like, so you want to. You want to still establish a sense of anonymity with this people. You want it to be a rumor that Joe Santa gotta was looking. Licking feet.

[Joey]

I mean, I don't. It doesn't. It doesn't matter. I mean, I'm not gonna go out and be like, yo, I'm. I'm doing this. Like, I feel like I don't have to do that.

[Frank]

You don't have to, but if you did, you'd have all your money and you wouldn't have to do a year's worth of it. Nan, put your hand down. You wouldn't underestimate me, bro.

[Joey]

I'll get. I'll.

[Frank]

I'm diving for the potential at a billion dollars. Joey. I'll. I'll wore my tongue out. Realistically.

[Joey]

Realistically, I only really need 50 people, which I could get in an afternoon.

[Frank]

That's true.

[Joey]

I'm getting in my car and visiting everyone.

[Frank]

Yeah, but see, that's the part where you need them to kind of be on board. If not, you're gonna wrestle people to lick their feet. Then you ruin those friendships and relationships.

[Joey]

What if anyone I know who has a pool. Yo, let's go in the pool. And I'm. I'll literally strangle them.

[Frank]

Let me see your tootsies.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Do you think you're flexible enough to lick your own foot?

[Frank]

Yes, and I'm not doing it.

[Joey]

Nice try to lick my foot.

[Frank]

Nice try.

[Ant]

I think I would need to see an attempt.

[Joey]

I think I can.

[Frank]

I. I mean, listen, I actually have to do it. I'm a little sore right now. I hit leg day a little hard yesterday, so the idea of getting my foot up to my mouth right now might hurt. I'm with confidence that I could. All right. We believe in him.

[Joey]

I think you could. He's pretty flexible.

[Frank]

Thank you.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joey]

Damn, if I couldn't lick my own foot, that would piss me off. I mean, I have a year. I would stretch like crazy. Yeah, you'd be all right. I'm getting that. Milled.

[Frank]

You'd be all right.

[Joey]

I'm getting it.

[Frank]

It.

[Joey]

I tried and I'm getting you.

[Frank]

Yeah, we saw what you did. You tried? You tried for you. You want a goon to look around foot? Well, just what you want a goon.

[Ant]

Try it can't be the reputation.

[Frank]

I tried just to see if you.

[Ant]

Guys get close, not actually lick it.

[Joey]

I mean, I think. Yeah.

[Ant]

Here we go.

[Frank]

Let's see it.

[Joey]

The easiest money I ever make in my life, dude. Yeah. It's licking the shit out.

[Frank]

That's done. And if he can do it, I could do it. I mean, I think.

[Joey]

Not that hard.

[Frank]

It's not.

[Joey]

You could do it.

[Frank]

You could do it. Let's see.

[Ant]

I'll do it.

[Frank]

Oh, he doesn't want to.

[Joey]

I'm just asking you. Make your.

[Frank]

He doesn't want it now. He wants us to do it. He doesn't want us.

[Ant]

Frankie does it.

[Frank]

I could definitely do it.

[Ant]

I'll do it if you do it. I'll do it if you do it.

[Joey]

I mean, look at this. Easy.

[Ant]

Damn, that's pretty good.

[Joey]

Let's see it.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

What the hell has this show become? What has it become, even? What has it become?

[Frank]

Guys, guess what? We're doing Madison Square Garden.

[Joey]

In the world. Easiest money ever made.

[Ant]

It was easier than I thought it would be.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank]

And that's just ourselves.

[Joey]

Tell you what.

[Frank]

I'm walking out of here $3 million richer.

[Joey]

So easy. And also the lie that I use to get one of your shoes off and lick your foot. Just one. I'm repeating to every.

[Frank]

I think you need to. You would probably have to start. I love how we're, like, actually strategic. I would start a rumor. I would say. No, I would say you would have to start with the most difficult person and then whatever you use to get them. Like, the person you should start with would be Keith, because.

[Joey]

Yeah, but Keith, like, he. I've seen him barefoot before, and I'm diving on his foot. So, like, I'm not even gonna. I'm not gonna politic with him. I'm just diving it.

[Frank]

But what I'm saying is, if you can figure out how to get Keith, who might be the most difficult person to get to you for, to allow you to lick his feet, then you can use the tools that you got from that interaction, that business deal, to use it on your Whoever.

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, I'm. Listen, I'm. I'll be fine, bro. I'll be fucking caked up. Crazy.

[Frank]

Well, some of us, you know.

[Joey]

You know.

[Frank]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Does anyone know what that means? I don't really know what that means.

[Frank]

You know exactly what I'm saying.

[Joey]

What is he saying? I'd like to know.

[Frank]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

What does it mean?

[Ant]

I have no idea.

[Frank]

You know it. You know exactly what I'm saying, dude.

[Ant]

Also caked up. Is he saying he's gonna get a BBL with the Money.

[Joey]

No, cake is also a. Cake is money. Yeah, got it.

[Frank]

So when. What? You know, I could. Though. I could get a bbl. Money, money, cake. I'm getting cake. That's. Remember that song?

[Joey]

I do.

[Frank]

That was a song. Who sang?

[Joey]

That was a fab 50 cent. Oh, no, wait.

[Frank]

It might have been fat.

[Joey]

It might have been Lloyd Banks.

[Frank]

Money, money, money. I'm getting cake. I'm getting cake.

[Joey]

Don't say the next one.

[Frank]

That's fine. I mean, can we confirm if this.

[Joey]

I know Lloyd Banks is on the song. I just don't know if it's a 50 Cent or Lloyd Banks song.

[Frank]

Lloyd Banks and 50 Cent on a lot of the same songs together. So it's understandable to not be able to make the distinction between the two.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That was a great.

[Joey]

A lot of time spent talking about.

[Frank]

We talked about holes. We talked about weddings. We talked about licking feet. Yeah, I mean, I'm licking the top of the feet, too. We can agree on that, right?

[Joey]

I don't give a. What it is.

[Frank]

You know what I love?

[Joey]

Wait, what if it was the same deal, but it was like, you had to let them pee on you?

[Frank]

Oh, where do they have to pee on. Anywhere on my foot.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, but you gotta, like. You gotta be like, yo, piss on my foot. Yeah, yeah, but, like, that's way harder to get people to.

[Frank]

Do you think it's harder to get people to piss on your. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Joey]

Way harder.

[Frank]

Oh, there might be more. Wait, this is a good question. Are there more feet fetish people out there or piss freaks?

[Joey]

I didn't even think about the amount of people that are.

[Frank]

I mean, that. That is elevating. You need to play the numbers game, Joey.

[Joey]

There's more. There's more feet. 100%.

[Frank]

You sure?

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah. It's like a very popular one. People are really into feet.

[Frank]

It doesn't make sense.

[Joey]

There's less of a stigma with that one, too. I feel so, like, that's why more people probably feel like they can.

[Ant]

Do they have to, like, purposely pee on my foot?

[Frank]

What? You, like, are you standing by people accidentally?

[Ant]

Yeah, I'm saying, like, I'm at the urinal, like at the baseball game, and I just shove my foot up there while they're pissing.

[Joey]

I would say that counts. That's hilarious. That's a. That's a such a funny way to get it done. It's like you're next to a guy and he's peeing and you're like, oh, yes. On your hand real quick.

[Frank]

Or you can just lay in the trough that they have at baseball games and stuff like that, and you can get five pieces for the price of one. You do it.

[Joey]

There's no way I'm laying in a trough and letting five.

[Frank]

I one time put. It wasn't a piss trough, it was a sink trough. And I put my head near it. Do you remember that? And you guys, like, lost your mind.

[Joey]

Was that at a.

[Frank]

It was at a bar. It was at Whiskey Brooklyn.

[Joey]

Oh, okay.

[Frank]

And I put my head near it to, like, wet my hair. And you were like, what? I was like, yo, people aren't pissing in here. They're washing their hands.

[Joey]

That is fair. That whole place smelled like piss, though.

[Frank]

It did. That is also fair. I might have. Honestly, if. If we were allowed to do retroactive pisses, I might already be a millionaire. I mean, I. Chances are we got pissed on at those Vegas pool parties.

[Joey]

Well, we know you've got a million dollars from pissing on yourself multiple times, Mr. Hand Sanitizer over there.

[Frank]

I have dribbled a little piss on my pants. Keith would be Elon Musk, first of all.

[Joey]

I'd be Elon Musk.

[Frank]

You pee on yourself all the time.

[Joey]

I don't pee at myself all the time, but my penis does deceive me, and I think we're done. And I thought we were done. And then it plays a trick on me and goes, guess what? Now that you're wearing gray shorts, we're not done.

[Frank]

Yeah, more penis. I mean piss, not more penis. You.

[Joey]

You don't have. I am maxed out on penis. I'm not getting any more penis in my life.

[Frank]

You've tried too.

[Joey]

I have. Do you know that there's a thing where you can lengthen your penis by, like, stretching it?

[Frank]

I've heard of this. I can. Well, what do you need?

[Ant]

I'm just agreeing.

[Frank]

I heard about all the dick in the world. What do you need?

[Joey]

Dude, I've just heard of it. I've just heard of.

[Frank]

Well, the people think your balls or.

[Joey]

Dick are more impressive.

[Ant]

Dick.

[Frank]

Must be nice.

[Joey]

Balls are digging my dick.

[Ant]

Yeah, Just thinking about it. I know people's balls are more impressive. That's cool, too.

[Joey]

You know some people with impressive balls? Yeah, I know one, actually. I don't even know.

[Frank]

We know what. We knew one.

[Joey]

We knew one.

[Frank]

We knew someone whose balls were like, whoa, dude.

[Joey]

And they passed away.

[Frank]

Why'd you say no? Like, I. I haven't. I. I don't know what the quality of their balls is now.

[Joey]

Oh, you may.

[Frank]

Okay, something may have happened. Or like balls through time, things happen.

[Joey]

That's true. You know, up they go, down, swing around. The.

[Frank]

The natural progression of life starts and stops with balls.

[Joey]

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[Frank]

So there's something going around the Internet that a lot of people. There's been a bit of a debate and I want to know if you guys can chime in on this. Have you seen the videos from Will Smith's concerts?

[Joey]

Oh, if it's AI or not.

[Frank]

Yeah. So the rumor. Not the rumor, I guess. People are debating online if the audience is generated by AI. And listen, as someone that saw does kind of look a little like the movements of the people. It looks a little AI. Like it's.

[Joey]

Fuck that. We live in a world where now.

[Frank]

Yeah, this is. I mean, this is like.

[Joey]

To be fair, I like Will Smith.

[Frank]

I have no issues with Will Smith.

[Joey]

Me neither. Big Daddy Will, however, with the size of these crowds, that's a little confusing to me. He hasn't put out music in God knows how long.

[Frank]

Well, no, he's got the new one. I Like Pretty Girls.

[Joey]

Yeah, he does have that one.

[Frank]

I. I don't want to talk about Will Smith because he'll come in here and smack the out of me. Okay. Which honestly might do good for numbers. So.

[Joey]

Yeah, it'd be great if you gave it a slap the shit out of.

[Frank]

I'd take one for the team.

[Joey]

I fucking let him hear slap me and I lick his foot.

[Frank]

Get the double.

[Joey]

Get the fucking lawsuit money and the million dollars.

[Frank]

I'm just saying. I, I don't. Is he that popular? He's on like a sold out tour.

[Joey]

That's the thing. I don't. I don't know. And it feels like. But it also feels like there's. It would be very dumb for a marketing team to be like, let's just AI the entire crowd. I mean, that feels like.

[Frank]

Hold on though. We can't go based off of like how dumb the logic would be because, like we. I think it has been proven that, like, the logic is probably really like, they're not gonna follow it. They're gonna take the dumbest, cheapest route.

[Joey]

Yeah, but. But people. It's easy to find out that there's not that many people at this show, like any sort of video online.

[Frank]

I mean, there was also like young kids that like had signs like, big Will, Fresh Prince forever. That's the part that what I. If I'm gonna be really honest for a second. That's the part that I was the most confused by. Is just like, children. Children with signs who may. Who brings signs to events nowadays?

[Joey]

Like, I miss signs.

[Frank]

I miss signs, too.

[Joey]

People bring signs to our shows. I fucking love it. I'm like, it's like Monday Night Raw in here.

[Frank]

Yes, it's exactly why I like it. It feels like old school wrestling, where someone would have a sign that just says, like, hell, yeah.

[Joey]

If you're coming to our shows, don't do the lazy thing where you just put up, like, you know, a black screen and then text, and it's like, oh, you know, bro, get a fucking poster board.

[Frank]

Also just complete honesty and transparency. We can't see up there. We can't see anything.

[Joey]

Can see the signs, though.

[Frank]

So, like, the 10 seconds at the end of the show when we put the lights on and we take a picture, then we could see some during the show. We can't see a goddamn.

[Joey]

I could see some signs.

[Frank]

Oh, I can't see shit.

[Joey]

If it's upper deck. I can't.

[Frank]

Oh, no. I could see them if they're in, like, the first two or three rows. Like, one girl brought a sign to the show that was just like, joe, let's settle this about your height.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frank]

Funny. But, like, if you're past, like, row two or three, I'm. Maybe I'm blind. I can't see a fucking thing.

[Joey]

It depends where you're standing on the stage.

[Frank]

But that's the part that was the most confusing is, like, it's like younger fans and they're bringing signs and, like, if I am going to create AI generated content, I would try to make it look as real as possible.

[Ant]

Do you want to see it?

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Pull it up.

[Ant]

We could lower that. I don't know if he's gonna copyright us.

[Frank]

He might.

[Joey]

He's.

[Frank]

He's not. I mean, we're kind of.

[Joey]

We're not saying the nicest things, so.

[Frank]

So, like, that looks fake as hell. I'm sorry. Sorry to that little kid.

[Joey]

Take us back to Bel Air. Why would anyone say that?

[Frank]

Like, it's just. And also, they're, like, closing their eyes. Like, it's like, also that.

[Joey]

Go back to that sign. So. Love you, Fresh Prince. Right now. This feels like AI to me.

[Frank]

Because of the spelling.

[Joey]

Because of the spelling.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

And also, like, I realize it's probably like, I think he's overseas at the moment, but, like, bro, this feels a.

[Frank]

It's one. Yeah, it's one of those Things where it's just like AI generated cereal box and it's just like, check the fingers.

[Joey]

Yeah. Is there too many fingers anywhere?

[Ant]

Also, it's a daytime here. Is this a compilation?

[Joey]

I'm sure the lights are on. I, I mean, this looks real date.

[Frank]

That looks very daytime.

[Joey]

It's actually true. It does look date.

[Frank]

Go back. There's, there's one clip earlier of like a little boy and like the way he like moves his head, I'm just like, oh, that doesn't look right. Yeah, go further back. Yeah, right there. Like, it just looks this.

[Ant]

Yeah, you play it.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Frank]

Like it's very, it looks like, it looks like if you let him like for two more seconds, he would like turn into like a bowl of spaghetti. You know those like, tick tock things. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's AI generated and it's people like sneezing and their whole face comes out.

[Joey]

Yeah, it's like a dog, like, barking and then it turns into a cake.

[Frank]

I don't want to send out any. I wish. Nothing but the best for the Fresh Prince. Okay. I, I imagine trying to myth bust this.

[Ant]

This one has been the most damning according to people because you can see just the faces that aren't properly. Oh, generated here.

[Frank]

See, I need to get closer. I'm pretty blind.

[Joey]

It's. Yeah, you can see it. I can see it from here. There is like faces that are kind of like, get over here. Blurry. You ever see the ring and then the people who are gonna die in seven days.

[Ant]

Like this whole section.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Ant]

This one was the most damning online. People were making fun of this one specifically.

[Frank]

It's also terrifying.

[Ant]

Yeah, it's, it's a little scary.

[Joey]

That's like at the microphone though. Yeah, I, I, yeah, that's a tough one to, to kind of.

[Frank]

Maybe that's, that's terrifying.

[Joey]

I wouldn't be surprised if like, maybe the crowds are, are real. But when they do those zoom ins, it's like, let's AI some of the zoom ins with like, creative.

[Frank]

I imagine. Honestly, I would. From what I've seen, it leads me to believe that any of the shots with signs are AI you know, and that's just. Listen, that's the world we live in now. I mean, I was. If you were not skeptical of things previously, AI is now going to make you just like, completely. Who knows?

[Joey]

Dude, we should do that. We should do our shows and then AI the inserts of the crowd with like the most insane signs.

[Frank]

Not because we got the best fans in the world. We don't need a fake baby.

[Joey]

See, when you do stuff like that, you isolate me and make me sound like I said a slur to our friends.

[Frank]

No, you obviously said no.

[Joey]

No, we have the best fans.

[Frank]

And it's like I was. We do.

[Joey]

Me and Frank versus you. You're a scumbag.

[Frank]

No, no, no, I don't. If you felt that left you out for an island. Give me your feet. I'll lick them. Or you can lick mine. And then I will. I will apologize. I don't know. I'm trying to backtrack.

[Joey]

And then we will. We will both lick ants at the same time.

[Frank]

No, no, no. That. Come on.

[Joey]

I mean, I think that was AI.

[Frank]

It's kind of crazy. Like, Will Smith has just had several years of just, like, losing.

[Joey]

I don't really think so.

[Frank]

I mean, like, I think he's more.

[Joey]

Popular than we probably think. He makes a lot of content that feels like Mr. Beastie kinda. And I feel like maybe a younger generation of kids like him because of that.

[Frank]

I'm not. I'm not in any way celebrating the idea of him not coming out, but I think, like, there has been.

[Joey]

The slap was bad.

[Frank]

The slap. All the stuff that hid the wife, allegedly, you know, like, that didn't look great.

[Joey]

That wasn't great.

[Frank]

You know, a lot of the stuff with like, the I like Pretty girls video came out where he's like, singing in the middle of London and, like, people are just like, they don't give a. Yeah. You know, like, listen, we're 90s, early 2000s kids. To us, Will Smith is a God. I love him.

[Joey]

He's an untouchable icon.

[Frank]

He really, really is. For the. You know, for the longest time, he had the record for like. Like, the most earnings of, like, a summer box office of an actor of all time, bro.

[Joey]

He's got hits, bangers.

[Ant]

Do you know how many Tick Tock followers he has?

[Joey]

Like, 100 million.

[Ant]

Oh, okay.

[Joey]

Is it.

[Ant]

It's like 80 million.

[Frank]

Good. I mean, he's Will Smith. He's an icon. I'm just saying we don't know how.

[Joey]

Many of those are bought.

[Frank]

This doesn't. This doesn't look good.

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

If I'm his publicist, I'm.

[Joey]

One thing that I think we need to remember is that when you are Will Smith, right, You don't do any of this. These are decisions that are made that are not. You're not making them.

[Frank]

That's true.

[Joey]

So them making the decision to be like, we'll use AI and We'll go. He's not having a conversation with the marketing team being like, let's fake the whole thing.

[Frank]

Yeah, but there's also. There is a degree of it that is transplanted over to him because it is in representation of his image. No, of course his likeness.

[Joey]

But I'm saying people are like, oh, Will Smith is like, why is he doing that? It's like, there's a very high possibility that it just happened and he was like, let's the.

[Frank]

Yeah, absolutely. But I think that it still doesn't look great for him.

[Joey]

No, it doesn't. But I'm just saying, I think people, like, they get a little confused that they're like, all these things are like him doing it and blah, blah, blah. It's like there's a team of people that work for Will Smith and run all his social and make all those clips and he probably doesn't even post them. They get posted.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I can imagine that someone is running all of his socials. Like, he is not doing any of this.

[Joey]

He probably is not even going to know that there is this controversy until like three days from now.

[Frank]

I mean, I think in today's world, he'll know quickly. He'll know quickly.

[Joey]

Pretty unlikely, but you know what I'm saying, Like, it's not him making the video. Like, he's at home AI ing his own shit. Like, come on.

[Frank]

No, yeah, he didn't make it. But that's like, you know, if there were a Santa Gato Studios video that came out of one of us dressed up, up as like a member of the ss, like, it would look really bad on you. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Yeah, it would. But there are things that happen in videos that I don't know, and they go out, like, for instance, Ant just mumbling songs at the end of videos. Remember that was a thing for a bit.

[Frank]

I used to watch all of them and I loved them.

[Ant]

Thank you.

[Frank]

The last two haven't had that.

[Joey]

You have. You stopped doing that?

[Ant]

Well, during. I didn't have my usual setup. I'll bring it back.

[Joey]

When was the last time you did it?

[Ant]

Like two episode. Two videos ago.

[Joey]

Oh, wow. So you're still.

[Ant]

Yeah, I've been doing it for a while.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like. Like, and like a while, like, back in the old studio.

[Joey]

Yeah, well, like, I. I didn't know that.

[Ant]

They didn't know.

[Joey]

I had no idea.

[Ant]

I didn't know that.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I hit you that day that I found out. I was like, what the fuck is this?

[Frank]

Yeah, because they, like, copyrighted.

[Ant]

Yeah, they copyrighted what we usually use. And I went.

[Joey]

The only reason why I knew was because I went. Because I think you said there is a, like, post credits thing. So I went to that, and then I was like, wait, what the hell? And I'm listening to the music, and then I'm like. And then I watched another one, and I'm like, is he just fucking doing this?

[Frank]

Like, what is this? Hey, man.

[Joey]

Little.

[Frank]

Little. Like, it's like you're like Hitchcock, okay? You put your little. Like your trademark in movies, you know, Quentin Tarantino has feet. Hitchcock has his little cameos. Ant has singing at the end of the videos.

[Joey]

Quentin Tarantino. That is his. That. That in the N word, he loves. Those are his movies.

[Frank]

Those are, oddly enough, the two things. He decided to be really into feet. You ever see, like, recently, I was like, there was, like, a compilation of, like, Quentin Tarantino foot things. And, like, I was like, all right. Like. But then there was one that was like, this is weird. It was from. Have you ever seen From Dusk Till Dawn?

[Ant]

That's the best.

[Frank]

That's the worst one. Like, the worst offender, where he. It's like a video of, like, Salma Hayek. She's like an exotic dancer, and she pours tequila down her leg, and, like, someone sucks it off her feet, and it's Quentin Tarantino.

[Joey]

Nice.

[Frank]

Like, but, like, you could have got anyone to do that, dude.

[Joey]

Yeah. You know, I mean, he wrote the script probably from that point out. Well, I mean, he's like, I know this is gonna happen.

[Frank]

Just, like, figuring out, like they say, like, Adam Sandler writes movies just to get his friends on vacation. Like, Quentin Tarantino writes movies just to suck feet.

[Joey]

Yeah. Just get a foot going. You know what I mean?

[Frank]

Strange. It is strange.

[Joey]

It is. But it's. It's something that's popular. And I'm telling you right now, I'd walk away with a big fat bag.

[Frank]

Daddy. Daddy's gonna be a big time millionaire after that. Yeah.

[Joey]

Is there a point where you stop and you go, all right, I've licked enough. I'm getting sick a lot that year.

[Frank]

I think. Honestly, I think a billion dollars, Frankie, that's a thousand feet.

[Joey]

Yeah, I'm stopping way before that.

[Frank]

I mean, I think a thousand.

[Joey]

If you licked 100ft, you'd be like, yo, I gotta look at. I gotta go out and lick more.

[Frank]

I mean, I think there would probably be, like, a conversation with myself and my pride and just be like, you've already done 100 what's another hundred?

[Joey]

It's about the. Why do you need to keep going?

[Frank]

Because you can also.

[Joey]

Do you get it as you lick it? We're back.

[Frank]

Yeah. Oh, you're so right. Back to it.

[Joey]

If I get it as I lick it, like, I lick it, bang. It appears in my bank account. It would be hard to move forward. Mm. Like, I would get to 100 if.

[Frank]

It was, like, you only get it at the end of the year.

[Ant]

Yeah. You need the total sum at the end.

[Joey]

Then I'd probably. I would probably end up licking more feet at that point because then I wouldn't know how much I really have have. I'd be like, I'm just gonna send it for a year and just.

[Ant]

I feel like once I ran out of my close friends and family, it.

[Joey]

Was gonna say saliva, dude.

[Ant]

Yeah, that's tattoo. It would start getting hard to keep going. I think once I saw 200 million, like, at the end of the year, I'm like, you know what?

[Joey]

200 is bananas, dude.

[Frank]

Also, am I keeping track or someone keeping track for me? Do I need someone?

[Joey]

Powers that be.

[Frank]

The powers that be. So, like, is someone gonna be with me, like, watching me lick feet and, like, tell me, like, that's a good lick. Do I get extra for double licks?

[Ant]

No.

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

One lick, one foot. Yep.

[Ant]

And it would be tough if you had to, like, give your own proof. Like, you had to take a picture of it. That makes it harder.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So then if I do that, though, I can't show more money.

[Joey]

I can't show work.

[Ant]

Same amount of money.

[Joey]

You're not squid.

[Frank]

You get a million a foot.

[Joey]

You trying to get more dollars out of this?

[Frank]

Hey, man. This capitalism at its finest, guys.

[Joey]

Pigs.

[Frank]

Pigs.

[Joey]

Money hungry, greedy pigs. Foot pigs.

[Frank]

You're not allowed to call me a Hispanic man a pig. Not again.

[Joey]

Not again. Oh, man. Remember that day we just kept calling each other fatso or fat ass? Oh, my God.

[Frank]

Yo, I.

[Joey]

Fat ass needs to come back.

[Frank]

That clip of us talking about Benjamin Franklin is so funny because I'm just like. We were saying, like, do you think he has a big dick? I was just like, he's a fat ass, bro.

[Joey]

Fat ass.

[Frank]

Fatso is good too. Fatso's so good.

[Joey]

Someone just being like, what are you doing, Fatso. I think my brother called me that one. I lost my mind.

[Frank]

Fatso is so good because it's so, like, meant to also just be extra disrespectful.

[Joey]

Like, it's a nickname.

[Frank]

Yeah. So what? Like, other people also call you that, like, it's a part of your identity now. Like, so fat ass is conditional fat. So it's who you are forever.

[Joey]

If someone. If I was like, you know, like, I cut someone off or something, they got next to me or screaming at me and called me a fat ass, that might. That might make my day.

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean. No, it would not. You would be upset.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

I think knowing you, I think in the moment, you'd be upset. Hindsight, you'd be like, that was me.

[Joey]

A fat ass.

[Frank]

That was really, really good. I always think back to, like. I think it was. Bert Kreischer told a story of, like, someone cut him off, like, getting off, like, the highway in la, and he, like, got next to them and rolled the window down, and he was just like, have fun with your fat ass, Mom. And it was like the guy's wife or something. Up.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

But, like, the idea that, like, that's just gonna, like. It's just such a simple, like, fatso, fat ass.

[Joey]

Calling your friends fat ass and fatso is fine. Calling strangers fatso, women fatso.

[Frank]

I. Yeah, we know. Don't do a Women.

[Joey]

Yeah. No, but calling. Calling your friends fat ass. Yeah.

[Frank]

Your male friends fat ass is really good.

[Joey]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Frank]

Unless they're actually, like, too big. Then don't do it.

[Joey]

Unless they're. They're into those types of jokes.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Also, they'll find things about you.

[Frank]

Depending. Yeah. Be prepared.

[Joey]

They'll find things about you.

[Frank]

All right, baldy. Whoa, whoa.

[Joey]

Taking it so serious.

[Frank]

Jesus Christ. You know, you Spanish pig swine.

[Joey]

Mine is such a great.

[Frank]

I think we're finding that swine is a slur. Yeah. 100%.

[Joey]

To pigs.

[Frank]

To anyone.

[Joey]

Yeah. I'm saying, like. But it's like. It's meant to mean pigs, right? Swine, like a.

[Frank]

Like a mad, like, evil pig. No, I think swine is just, like, the classification of pigs.

[Joey]

That's what I mean.

[Frank]

Not all. Not all swine are pigs, frogs and toads.

[Joey]

I think that all pigs may be swine.

[Frank]

No. Because then you have pigs and you have hogs.

[Joey]

Is swan. Is swine just kind of like.

[Frank]

I think a hog is not a pig.

[Ant]

Just means a domestic pig or hog, so.

[Frank]

Exactly. So they're different. So Daddy's right.

[Joey]

No, it says pig or hogs.

[Frank]

Daddy figured it out.

[Joey]

He just said, daddy, swine and pigs. I mean, pigs and hogs are swine.

[Frank]

Yes. But I said. I was like, not all pigs are hogs.

[Joey]

That's not what you said.

[Frank]

What did I say I made sense when I said it.

[Joey]

I know, but you're not paying attention.

[Frank]

You're right, I'm not. So I guess I lose.

[Joey]

It was. But yeah, no. Swine. I think we are slur, though.

[Frank]

We are coming to a place where the simplicity behind an insult is coming back. You know, like, dumbass is kind of fun now.

[Joey]

Mass is so good.

[Frank]

Like, someone recently, like, dumbass in some context, it was just like, are you stupid? And it was just like. It was perfect.

[Joey]

I'm a big fan of jerk. Like, you're being a fucking jerk.

[Frank]

No, because jerk feels. Jerk feels too sharp.

[Joey]

I like it.

[Frank]

I just hate how, like, in like, movies or TV today, it'll be like, all right, we're gonna write an insult. Like a foul mouth kid is trying to insult their friend. They're just like, all right, listen up, nard knuckle. You know, all right, listen up, dick trickle. And it's like, just like, just go back to it. You know what I mean? Like fucking. What's her name from Ozark. Love to do that shit. Obviously it was written for her, but the character of, like, what was her name? Ruth.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Where she was just like, all right, listen up. I'm gonna tell you something, little shit fart.

[Joey]

Yeah. Like, you know, I'd rather go back.

[Frank]

To the class and just go back to asshole.

[Joey]

Yeah, Dumbass is funny. I never liked moron.

[Frank]

Fucking fat ass.

[Joey]

Fucking jerk, imbecile. You fucking idiot.

[Frank]

Idiots good. Idiots good. But the face goes with idiot. Like a. Like a good. Just plain old fatso, you know?

[Joey]

Fatso laying it on. So good. It's so good. You know, what's better than like, are you. I love. Are you an idiot? Like, now I'm asking you.

[Frank]

I just love that. Like, it's a rhetorical. I just love that, like, when something is so dumb, you're like, that's so stupid.

[Joey]

You're a fucking idiot. Yeah. Anyway, that's how we're going to end that, folks.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

You go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram and. Yeah, that is all. See you guys next time.