The Basement Yard #526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Ant

Episode Overview

To celebrate Halloween, Joe, Frank, and Ant dress up in costumes (Voldemort/Cardi B-inspired, chicken, and Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, respectively) and embrace the holiday's silliness. The episode is a mix of wild costume antics, playful banter (especially about their Halloween getups), reflections on past Halloweens, discussions about “bad names,” and a delightfully absurd “scary story” written by Frank for Joe. The trio riff on everything from linguistics to pop culture, cartoon character crushes, and bizarre hypotheticals.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Halloween Costumes & Makeup Mishaps

[00:37] The crew talks about favorite Halloween memories. This year, Frank’s in a chicken suit, Ant is Leonardo, and Joe's doing an elaborate Voldemort/Cardi B mix.
[01:08] Ant laments being tricked into coming early just to let makeup artists in—not for his own makeup.
[01:49] Frank attempts (and fails) to eat popcorn through his chicken mask:

"Just so everyone's aware, our audio listeners. Frank's in a chicken costume and trying to eat off the desk, and it's not going smoothly." —Joe [01:49]
[02:24] Discussion about previous years' costumes, like Frank as a lion and Joe as a cat/devil.

2. Nails & Newfound Respect

[02:52] Joe, wearing long press-on nails, admits new sympathy for women:

"I think that, like, nails look nice, but they're not practical." —Joe [03:25]
[04:07] Banter about how people with long nails manage basic tasks:

"I don't even know how I would wipe my ass." —Joe [03:52]

3. Language Tangents & "Bukkake"

[04:44] Curiosity spirals as they explore the origins of “bukkake,” only to discover its original (benign) meaning in Japanese for "splashing liquid,” e.g., bukkake udon.
[06:36]

"Dude, I went to a restaurant and I saw bukkake on the menu. I'm leaving that restaurant." —Frank [06:36] "Depends on the price." —Ant [06:40]
[06:53] Joke about bukkake soup and cultural misunderstandings.

4. Chicken Connection and Ridiculous Bits

[07:20] Frank becomes “one with the chicken”—their banter devolves into absurd wordplay ("spatchcock me,” “bagok,” “gobble me up”).
[08:02]

"You want to spatchcock me on the fucking Table. I will fucking. Oh, roast me up." —Frank [08:02]

5. Character Identities, Pronouns, and Pop Culture

[09:02] Joe’s “character” wavers between witch, ghoul, and “genderless” entities:

"I'm like ditto from Pokemon, but not...I'm genderless. I'm unisex." —Joe [09:27]
[09:44] Ant clarifies: he is Leonardo the Ninja Turtle.
[10:31] Discussion on “domino masks” and what makes a mask “horny” or “slutty.”

6. Costume Discomforts & Childhood Memories

[11:59] Joe complains his mask smells like “a raw dick. Like a chicken cutlet dick.”
[12:19] Joe: “You know what it smells like? Wet white people.”
[13:04] Frank reminisces about their water park days, chest henna tattoos (“fax squared”), and getting sick after visits.

7. Worst Names & Name Debates

[24:23] Segment on naming abominations: “Rudolph,” “Gertrude,” “Eugene,” “Eustace,” “Todd,” “Franklin” are on the chopping block.
[26:24]

“I went my entire life calling him Colin Powell. I thought his name was Colon.” —Joey [26:21]
[27:51] Dog names are exempt from harsh judgment ("Franklin," "George," “Albert”).

8. Spooky Story by Frank

Feature segment: Frank’s “scary” story tailored to Joe.
[37:01] Frank narrates a tale involving Joe in Florida with coffee mishaps, a “level 14 UV index,” no sunscreen, Starbucks nightmares, explosive IBS, cockroaches, financial collapse, and awkward public encounters — lampooning Joe’s pet peeves.
[41:08]

“Joe gets back to his place with Charlie, who has spray shit the whole way home. And he finds a room of smiling kids as he opens the door.” —Frank [46:13]
[48:03]

“He thinks ordering food will help, but his chicken wings turn into little buffalo flavored penises.” —Frank [48:03]
Discussion of how genuinely mundane inconveniences are Joe's "real nightmares.”
[49:10]

"I wrote down other things that scare you too...having to wait in the general TSA security line." —Frank [49:10]

9. Bathroom Hypotheticals

[54:06] Ant’s scenario: “A toilet in your house becomes sentient and hates when you poop in it. What do you do?”
[54:25]

“You know what you're there for, bitch.” —Frank [54:25]
Sidetracked into “Human Centipede” logistics:

“Which one would you rather be—the front, middle, or end?” —Joey [56:03]

10. Cartoon Crushes & 'Hear Me Out' Cake

[60:16] First celebrity/cartoon character crushes:
- Christina Ricci, Trish Stratus, Kimberly (Pink Power Ranger), Taylor Swift, Natalie Portman, Avril Lavigne, Shego (Kim Possible), Lola Bunny.
[65:09]

“The only one I could think off the top of my head, so we don’t give it away… the dragon from Shrek.” —Frank [65:09]
Agreement that “Nala” (Lion King), Lola Bunny, and older women (Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Maggie Smith) were formative for some of the crew.

11. Animal Intelligence & 'My Octopus Teacher'

[73:33] Joey and Frank joke about the viral octopus documentary, speculating the filmmaker was “horny to have sex with it.”
“Everyone’s like, oh my god, this thing is so… it’s teaching me so much. Yo, his was hard the whole time.” —Frank [73:44]

12. Chicken Observations

[71:54] Frank delivers a chicken “melody” of Usher’s “Burn.”
[72:55] Pondering if chickens or pigeons need “CBD” to relax, and waxing on whether chickens are “famously dumb.”

Notable Quotes & Highlights

On long nails:

"I think that, like, nails look nice, but they're not practical. I just. I don't know." —Joe [03:25]
On the word 'bukkake':

“I think it translates to just big fun time.” —Joey [04:52]
“It refers to the act of splashing liquid on something. In this case, broth. Because they also have bukkake udon.” —Ant [06:28]
On being a chicken:

“I commit to the fucking bit.” —Frank [17:49]
On 'bad' names:

“You can't call him Dolphy, people gonna think his name is Adolph.” —Frank [24:06]
On celebrity crushes:

“Jessica Rabbit, though, I was kind of like—I could never handle that…She'll fuckin' kill me.” —Joey [63:52]
On 'My Octopus Teacher':

"No one spends that much time with something if they're not trying to have sex with it." —Frank [74:02]
On masks & discomfort:

“This smells like a…like a raw dick. Like a chicken cutlet dick.” —Joey [11:59]
Frank calls himself:

“Frank the bugocking chicken.” —Frank [16:53]

Memorable Moments

Frank’s chicken clucking reaches a running tally (at least 16 “clocks”) by Ant [17:22].
Frank’s extended “scary story” for Joe, merging all of Joe’s real-life pet peeves and anxieties into a parade of absurdity [37:01–48:24].
Frank argues that Foghorn Leghorn is “close enough” to a racist cartoon [21:45].
The group riffs on baby names and how calling someone “colon” instead of “Colin” is a lifetime misconception for Joey [26:21].
Debate about who could do cartwheels; admission that feats (like kipping up in gym class) are unverifiable “no one was there to see it” claims [18:47].
The toilets’ hypothetical and Human Centipede discussion.

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-----------------------------------------|-------------------| | Costume reveals & mishaps | 01:08–02:25 | | Long nails sympathy bit | 02:52–03:37 | | “Bukkake” definition/euphemisms | 04:44–07:05 | | Chicken banter (“bagok”, “spatchcock”) | 07:20–09:01 | | Names gone wrong (Rudolph, Colin) | 24:22–26:24 | | Frank’s spooky story for Joe | 37:01–48:24 | | Animated character crushes | 60:16–66:03 | | Chickens, pigeons, animal intelligence | 71:54–74:34 | | ‘My Octopus Teacher’ jokes | 73:33–74:34 |

Tone & Style

Unfiltered, irreverent, hyper-idiomatic New York storytelling and riffing
Plenty of affectionate roasting, physical comedy, self-deprecation, and oversharing
Silliness and absurdity are foregrounded, even during random tangents

For New Listeners

If you’ve never heard The Basement Yard before, this episode gives you the quintessential Basement Yard blend: ridiculous costumes, breakdowns of utterly random topics, a fearless willingness to go TMI for a laugh, and surprisingly sharp wit in discussions of everything from linguistics to pop culture nostalgia.
Expect frank, crude humor, and inside jokes—but all with a buddy-banter warmth.

End of Summary

The Basement Yard #526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Ant

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Halloween Costumes & Makeup Mishaps

[00:37] The crew talks about favorite Halloween memories. This year, Frank’s in a chicken suit, Ant is Leonardo, and Joe's doing an elaborate Voldemort/Cardi B mix.
[01:08] Ant laments being tricked into coming early just to let makeup artists in—not for his own makeup.
[01:49] Frank attempts (and fails) to eat popcorn through his chicken mask:

"Just so everyone's aware, our audio listeners. Frank's in a chicken costume and trying to eat off the desk, and it's not going smoothly." —Joe [01:49]
[02:24] Discussion about previous years' costumes, like Frank as a lion and Joe as a cat/devil.

2. Nails & Newfound Respect

[02:52] Joe, wearing long press-on nails, admits new sympathy for women:

"I think that, like, nails look nice, but they're not practical." —Joe [03:25]
[04:07] Banter about how people with long nails manage basic tasks:

"I don't even know how I would wipe my ass." —Joe [03:52]

3. Language Tangents & "Bukkake"

[04:44] Curiosity spirals as they explore the origins of “bukkake,” only to discover its original (benign) meaning in Japanese for "splashing liquid,” e.g., bukkake udon.
[06:36]

"Dude, I went to a restaurant and I saw bukkake on the menu. I'm leaving that restaurant." —Frank [06:36] "Depends on the price." —Ant [06:40]
[06:53] Joke about bukkake soup and cultural misunderstandings.

4. Chicken Connection and Ridiculous Bits

[07:20] Frank becomes “one with the chicken”—their banter devolves into absurd wordplay ("spatchcock me,” “bagok,” “gobble me up”).
[08:02]

"You want to spatchcock me on the fucking Table. I will fucking. Oh, roast me up." —Frank [08:02]

5. Character Identities, Pronouns, and Pop Culture

[09:02] Joe’s “character” wavers between witch, ghoul, and “genderless” entities:

"I'm like ditto from Pokemon, but not...I'm genderless. I'm unisex." —Joe [09:27]
[09:44] Ant clarifies: he is Leonardo the Ninja Turtle.
[10:31] Discussion on “domino masks” and what makes a mask “horny” or “slutty.”

6. Costume Discomforts & Childhood Memories

[11:59] Joe complains his mask smells like “a raw dick. Like a chicken cutlet dick.”
[12:19] Joe: “You know what it smells like? Wet white people.”
[13:04] Frank reminisces about their water park days, chest henna tattoos (“fax squared”), and getting sick after visits.

7. Worst Names & Name Debates

[24:23] Segment on naming abominations: “Rudolph,” “Gertrude,” “Eugene,” “Eustace,” “Todd,” “Franklin” are on the chopping block.
[26:24]

“I went my entire life calling him Colin Powell. I thought his name was Colon.” —Joey [26:21]
[27:51] Dog names are exempt from harsh judgment ("Franklin," "George," “Albert”).

8. Spooky Story by Frank

Feature segment: Frank’s “scary” story tailored to Joe.
[37:01] Frank narrates a tale involving Joe in Florida with coffee mishaps, a “level 14 UV index,” no sunscreen, Starbucks nightmares, explosive IBS, cockroaches, financial collapse, and awkward public encounters — lampooning Joe’s pet peeves.
[41:08]

“Joe gets back to his place with Charlie, who has spray shit the whole way home. And he finds a room of smiling kids as he opens the door.” —Frank [46:13]
[48:03]

“He thinks ordering food will help, but his chicken wings turn into little buffalo flavored penises.” —Frank [48:03]
Discussion of how genuinely mundane inconveniences are Joe's "real nightmares.”
[49:10]

"I wrote down other things that scare you too...having to wait in the general TSA security line." —Frank [49:10]

9. Bathroom Hypotheticals

[54:06] Ant’s scenario: “A toilet in your house becomes sentient and hates when you poop in it. What do you do?”
[54:25]

“You know what you're there for, bitch.” —Frank [54:25]
Sidetracked into “Human Centipede” logistics:

“Which one would you rather be—the front, middle, or end?” —Joey [56:03]

10. Cartoon Crushes & 'Hear Me Out' Cake

[60:16] First celebrity/cartoon character crushes:
- Christina Ricci, Trish Stratus, Kimberly (Pink Power Ranger), Taylor Swift, Natalie Portman, Avril Lavigne, Shego (Kim Possible), Lola Bunny.
[65:09]

“The only one I could think off the top of my head, so we don’t give it away… the dragon from Shrek.” —Frank [65:09]
Agreement that “Nala” (Lion King), Lola Bunny, and older women (Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Maggie Smith) were formative for some of the crew.

11. Animal Intelligence & 'My Octopus Teacher'

[73:33] Joey and Frank joke about the viral octopus documentary, speculating the filmmaker was “horny to have sex with it.”
“Everyone’s like, oh my god, this thing is so… it’s teaching me so much. Yo, his was hard the whole time.” —Frank [73:44]

12. Chicken Observations

[71:54] Frank delivers a chicken “melody” of Usher’s “Burn.”
[72:55] Pondering if chickens or pigeons need “CBD” to relax, and waxing on whether chickens are “famously dumb.”

Notable Quotes & Highlights

On long nails:

"I think that, like, nails look nice, but they're not practical. I just. I don't know." —Joe [03:25]
On the word 'bukkake':

“I think it translates to just big fun time.” —Joey [04:52]
“It refers to the act of splashing liquid on something. In this case, broth. Because they also have bukkake udon.” —Ant [06:28]
On being a chicken:

“I commit to the fucking bit.” —Frank [17:49]
On 'bad' names:

“You can't call him Dolphy, people gonna think his name is Adolph.” —Frank [24:06]
On celebrity crushes:

“Jessica Rabbit, though, I was kind of like—I could never handle that…She'll fuckin' kill me.” —Joey [63:52]
On 'My Octopus Teacher':

"No one spends that much time with something if they're not trying to have sex with it." —Frank [74:02]
On masks & discomfort:

“This smells like a…like a raw dick. Like a chicken cutlet dick.” —Joey [11:59]
Frank calls himself:

“Frank the bugocking chicken.” —Frank [16:53]

Memorable Moments

Frank’s chicken clucking reaches a running tally (at least 16 “clocks”) by Ant [17:22].
Frank’s extended “scary story” for Joe, merging all of Joe’s real-life pet peeves and anxieties into a parade of absurdity [37:01–48:24].
Frank argues that Foghorn Leghorn is “close enough” to a racist cartoon [21:45].
The group riffs on baby names and how calling someone “colon” instead of “Colin” is a lifetime misconception for Joey [26:21].
Debate about who could do cartwheels; admission that feats (like kipping up in gym class) are unverifiable “no one was there to see it” claims [18:47].
The toilets’ hypothetical and Human Centipede discussion.

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Style

Unfiltered, irreverent, hyper-idiomatic New York storytelling and riffing
Plenty of affectionate roasting, physical comedy, self-deprecation, and oversharing
Silliness and absurdity are foregrounded, even during random tangents

For New Listeners

End of Summary

#526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

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Summary

The Basement Yard #526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Halloween Costumes & Makeup Mishaps

2. Nails & Newfound Respect

3. Language Tangents & "Bukkake"

4. Chicken Connection and Ridiculous Bits

5. Character Identities, Pronouns, and Pop Culture

6. Costume Discomforts & Childhood Memories

7. Worst Names & Name Debates

8. Spooky Story by Frank

9. Bathroom Hypotheticals

10. Cartoon Crushes & 'Hear Me Out' Cake

11. Animal Intelligence & 'My Octopus Teacher'

12. Chicken Observations

Notable Quotes & Highlights

Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Style

For New Listeners

Summary

The Basement Yard #526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Halloween Costumes & Makeup Mishaps

2. Nails & Newfound Respect

3. Language Tangents & "Bukkake"

4. Chicken Connection and Ridiculous Bits

5. Character Identities, Pronouns, and Pop Culture

6. Costume Discomforts & Childhood Memories

7. Worst Names & Name Debates

8. Spooky Story by Frank

9. Bathroom Hypotheticals

10. Cartoon Crushes & 'Hear Me Out' Cake

11. Animal Intelligence & 'My Octopus Teacher'

12. Chicken Observations

Notable Quotes & Highlights

Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Style

For New Listeners