Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard #527 – "We Were In A Bank Robbery!"

Date: November 3, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with guest Ant Prisco)
Theme: A comedic deep-dive into accidental fashion faux pas, viral internet moments, and an extended, hilarious roleplay about surviving — and possibly thwarting — a bank robbery, inspired by news of the Louvre heist.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Joe and Frank (joined by Ant) riff on everything from men’s fashion and Emily-in-Paris home decor to social media commentary. The highlight is their improvisational roleplay, simulating the chaos of being stuck in a bank during a robbery — all as a riff on a real-life Louvre heist. Using Dungeons & Dragons-like mechanics, they joke through what they'd do, how they'd react, and whether they (or Bruce Vilanch) would walk out as heroes. The tone remains light, silly, and self-deprecating throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Fashion, Merch, and Masculinity (00:00 – 09:15)

• Halloween Merch Banter: Joe and Frank open with jokes about clothing comfort, especially Halloween merch and shirt material.
  • "If they're too hard, shirts? I don't like hard shirts." — Frank (00:32)
• V-Necks and Turtlenecks: Joking about who "pulls off" which shirt, and inventing the terms "V-neck face" and "turtleneck face".
  • "You don't have turtleneck face. You have like, a V-neck face." — Frank (01:09)
• Graphic Tees & Judgement: Good-natured teasing over ironic graphic tees versus stylish minimalism.
• Exploring Comfort and Gendered Fashion: Frank discusses wearing bras and high heels for fun or drag, joking about empathy for those who wear them regularly.
  • "Listen, I don't know, that's, that's an insane thing to just like do willingly." — Frank (03:43)

2. Social Media, Going 'Viral', and Online Comments (10:25 – 16:15)

• Gay Twitter & Viral Photo: Joe discusses unexpectedly becoming a topic on "gay Twitter," reading both explicit praise and funny, sometimes savage comments.
  • Quote: “What do you call the genre of men? The first reply under the photo just says ‘fat’.” — Joe (14:11)
• Joe and Frank muse on "himbo" and "twunk" terminology and their shifting internet personas.
• The crew reflects on self-image, classification, and the (in)accuracy of online categories.

3. Nostalgia: Bedrooms, Blankets & The Navy Duvet Crisis (17:02 – 23:39)

• Throw Blanket Difficulty: Joe talks about finally getting rid of a blanket, and Frank launches into his love for seasonal bedding.
• Dorm Room Aesthetic: Ant’s bedroom comes under fire for being "prison-like," with only a TV and navy bedding.
  • "You live in a dorm room. It's a goddamn prison." — Frank (19:12)
• Male Decor Clichés: All commiserate over a lack of decorative skill, revealing a regretful history of sports blankets and high school jerseys as “wall art”.

4. Ultimate Man Cave: Cool vs. Corny (22:03 – 24:51)

• The Basement Dream: Discussion pivots to their dream basements, and the fine line between "cool collections" (video games, toys) and tacky "man cave" décor.
  • "I love a good basement, but I’m never... themed around [a team]." — Frank (22:09)
• Frank draws the line at sports-team themed toilet seats: "you suck so much."
• Ant dreams of a wine cellar with a sliding ladder, while Joe waxes poetic about Harry Potter's Ollivanders scene.

5. The Louvre Heist & "Professional" Robberies (34:21 – 40:46)

• Hot News: The trio reacts to a news story about thieves robbing the Louvre in 7 minutes, channeling their inner Ocean’s Eleven:
  • "Wouldn't a heist be just fucking awesome?" — Joe (35:04)
  • "Dude, I can't even begin to explain how cool I think I would be in a heist." — Frank (35:09)
• Heist Roles: Joking on which roles they’d be: hacker, greaser, nimble gymnast, or drillsman.
• How Do You Fence Royal Jewels?: They ponder breaking down the loot, laundering it, and the allure of secret, black-market treasures.

6. "We Were In A Bank Robbery" Roleplay D&D Style (44:48 – 67:44)

• Improvised Heist Simulation: An extended, side-splitting roleplay where Joe, Frank, and Ant use D&D-like dice rolls and stats to simulate handling a bank robbery.
  • "You're laying on the ground, right? You're in athletic wear, okay. You don't have any weapons." — Frank (47:50)
  • "How good am I? ... Oh my god, I'm a fucking champion." — Joe, on his rolled boxing skill (61:49)
• The scenario escalates:
  • Attempting to distract a robber with a wallet toss (fails!),
  • Calling in Bruce Vilanch for backup,
  • Rolling for persuasion, dexterity, and boxing strength,
  • Fantasizing about a “heist-themed escape room” business.
• Memorable Quote:
  "So Bruce Vilanch jumps on his back, I get up, I spit blood in his mask, and I start peeing off on his head." — Joe (67:18)

7. Loud, Silly Reflections & Meta Moments (Throughout)

• Comedy About Comedy: Frank is teased for constantly speaking in threes:
  • "We love you, we thank you, and yeah…" (33:18)
• Aging & Falling Jokes: The group riff on "funny falls" — why watching people fall is inherently funny, but not getting hurt.
• Recurring D&D References:
  • Frank: "D&D is fun... we should do a D&D video." (67:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fashion:
  "You have a V-neck face. That is so offensive, it's insane." — (01:22)
• On Going Viral:
  “The first reply under the photo just says ‘fat’.” — Joe (14:11)
• On Male Decor:
  "You live in a dorm room. It's a goddamn prison." — Frank (19:12)
• On Man Caves:
  "They’re corny as hell… Parking for Yankee fans only." — Frank (22:09)
• On Heists:
  "Wouldn't a heist be just fucking awesome?" — Joe (35:04)
• On the D&D Scenario:
  "You're laying on the ground, right?... You don't have any weapons." — Frank (47:50) "How good am I? ... Oh my god, I'm a fucking champion." — Joe (61:49) "So Bruce Vilanch jumps on his back, I get up, I spit blood in his mask, and I start peeing off on his head." — Joe (67:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Shirt banter, merch, V-necks
• 10:25 – Viral internet moments, "gay Twitter" reactions
• 17:02 – Blankets, navy bedspreads, and male interior design
• 22:03 – Man cave vs. playpen debate
• 34:21 – The Louvre heist discussion
• 44:48 – D&D-style bank robbery roleplay begins
• 61:49 – Highest boxing skill moment
• 67:18 – Bruce Vilanch as surprise hero

Tone & Language

Consistently irreverent, self-deprecating, and comically absurd, the episode blends real news, personal anecdotes, and fantasy in the show’s signature style.

For New Listeners

This episode is a classic Basement Yard blend of offbeat humor, wild improvisation, and genuine, relatable commentary on the weirdness of modern life. Whether you’re here for the banter, the D&D shenanigans, or the deeply unserious take on a real-life Louvre heist, you’ll leave laughing.

[Skip the ads at 41:00, 52:36 & 55:43 — main content resumes after each break.]