#530 - Getting Swallowed By A Black Hole

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #530: "Getting Swallowed By A Black Hole"

Date: November 24, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (w/ guest, Ant Prisco)
Studio: Santagato Studios

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Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode blends signature Basement Yard chaos and comedy, traversing generational trends, bizarre snacks, existential ruminations on space and black holes, and quirky personal stories. The “black hole” in the title becomes a springboard for relatable, funny, and sometimes deep conversations about anatomy, technology, family, and the sometimes incredible scale of the universe.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Generational Trends & Inside Jokes

[00:28 – 08:00]

• Joe, Frank, and guest Ant banter on how hard it is to keep up with Gen Z behaviors, like “check pulse” or “ice in my veins,” and widely loathed TikTok trends (e.g., "6, 7").
• The trio reflect on the growing divide between adults and kids, noting that inside jokes have become global thanks to social media.
• Quote:
  “Now I understand why our parents hated us so much.”—Frank [01:12]

2. Teaching: Choosing the Least Awful Grade Level

[03:18 – 07:15]

• The hosts debate what grade would be the least torture to teach, all agreeing that middle school (especially during puberty) is the worst.
• Frank and Joe share hilarious, borderline gross puberty stories, including “budding nipples” and “gynecomastia” (the “Ring Dings” and “Lifesavers” comparison is classic Basement Yard).
• Memorable: “If someone showed me your nipples in seventh grade … they would look like a pair of tits.”—Frank [06:41]

3. Social Media Before Social Media: Hand Gestures and Classroom Chaos

[08:04 – 09:03]

• The hosts reminisce about old classroom gestures like making “pussies” at teachers with their hands, comparing them to viral global trends today.

4. Medical Stuff, Bodily Functions, and Lollipops

[09:03 – 13:15]

• Frank admits to playfully sneezing on his partner’s hand.
• The group compare uncomfortable medical exams for men vs. women—Frank is in awe of the OB-GYN experience: “If the way you go to the doctor is the same way someone mounts a horse … that’s gotta be wildly invasive.”—Frank [10:11]
• Discussion derails into accidental home self-exams (“accidentally fingered your own asshole”—Joe [10:25]) and the joy of bank lollipops.

5. Odd Snacks & Food Debates

[15:11 – 18:49]

• Outrage over dark chocolate and the look of weird “Dubai chocolate bars” (“looks like poop from a butt”—Frank [15:26]), arguments erupt over taste and texture.
• Frank raves about the best cupcake he’s ever had: an “Irish Car Bomb” with Guinness, whiskey ganache, and Bailey’s frosting [18:12].

6. People with Big Mouths (Literally) & TikTok Fame

[19:32 – 21:12]

• Guest Ant has met the “giant mouth” TikTok woman who fits bananas and even a whole can of Foster’s in her mouth.
• Joe and Frank riff on adulthood absurdities that come from new forms of internet celebrity.

7. Black Holes and Cosmic Existentialism

[26:47 – 36:40]

• Joe states there’s a black hole “eating galaxies” and asks for a layman’s explanation.
• The group share their best guesses, ultimately landing (correctly) on black holes as objects with gravity so strong that not even light can escape, leading to “spaghettification.”
• Quote:
  “Spaghettification! … you will become a bigger spaghetti meatball.”—Frank [29:19]
• They debate: Would they enter a black hole if there was an 85% chance they’d return? Joe is an immediate “no.”
• Existential dread at the sheer smallness of humanity (“It shows a person in Times Square … then it zooms out … not even a pixel.”—Frank [32:37])
• Neil deGrasse Tyson is a recurring off-screen guest in their minds (“Neil still, come on the show!”—Joe [34:53]).

8. How Do Phones Work? And Other Mysteries

[35:30 – 37:16]

• The gang is confounded by how phones, radio, and cameras actually work—despite explanations, it still feels like magic.
• Quote:
  “How did someone think of that? … Like, how did someone be like, we’ll just put it … nothing will be connected?”—Joe [36:45]

9. Smart Friends’ Texts and Balls With Lettuce

[37:43 – 42:43]

• Joe shares stories about receiving random duck pictures from Hank Green (“You know, it’s just a duck.”—Joe [38:21]).
• Ant ups the ante: a friend who used to send him daily photos of his balls on lettuce at noon.
• Philosophical musing: maybe random duck texts are evidence of true intelligence.

10. Electric Eels & Death by Voltage

[43:19 – 46:14]

• Ant sprinkles in eel facts (“A single eel can produce up to 860 volts. Four times a standard plug.”—Ant [45:07]).
• Joe’s dad once electrocuted himself so badly the “light turned on” and had to be resuscitated.

11. Pranks, Bugs, and Phobias

[51:20 – 54:14]

• Frank and Ant want to prank Joe with bugs, but Joe makes it clear: “If you came in here … with a tarantula … there will be a reaction” [53:33]. Joe’s maximum retribution? “I’d probably smash your windshield.” [54:04]

12. Cloning Dogs & Expensive Pet Love

[54:54 – 63:49]

• Tom Brady allegedly cloned his dog; Tom Brady might even be on the company’s board, fueling business speculation.
• They debate the ethics, cost, and logic of cloning pets vs. traditional birth (“If it’s that low, that seems crazy, because then more people are going to start doing it.”—Frank [62:46]).
• Price tags: dog ($50k), horse ($85k).

13. Name Games: Family Names & Marvel Babies

[66:03 – 77:49]

• Ant explains his family’s Italian naming traditions (“Antonio,” “Andiello/Angelo”), prompting confusion and comedy as Joe and Frank mishear “Neil and yellow.”
• Frank lists “real contender” names he wanted for his kids: Loki, Thanos, Valkyrie, Venus, Athena, Scarlet. Only Ruby and Maeve survived!
• Quote:
  “You were going to name your child Thanos?”—Ant [72:09]
• Conversation explores nicknames, cultural norms, and how nerd culture bleeds into reality.

14. Final Thoughts & Signature Basement Yard Nonsense

[77:57 – 80:41]

• Joe expresses relief that Frank’s kids aren’t named after Marvel villains.
• The hosts briefly detour into favorite-sounding names (e.g., Priscilla, Catherine) and joke about name construction.
• Wind-down with inside jokes and farewells.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Segments

• “If someone showed me your nipples in seventh grade … they would look like a pair of tits.”
  —Frank [06:41]

• “If the way you go to the doctor is the same way someone mounts a horse … that’s gotta be wildly invasive.”
  —Frank [10:11]

• “Spaghettification! … You will become a bigger spaghetti meatball.”—Frank [29:19]

• “How did someone think of that? … Like, how did someone be like, we’ll just put it … nothing will be connected?”
  —Joe [36:45]

• “You were going to name your child Thanos?”
  —Ant [72:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Generational Trends: [00:35 – 08:00]
• Teacher Grade Debate: [03:18 – 07:15]
• Medical & Bodily Function Bits: [09:03 – 13:15]
• Black Hole Deep Dive: [26:47 – 36:40]
• Existential Dread (Cosmic Perspective): [32:25 – 34:53]
• Phone Call Mysteries: [35:30 – 37:16]
• Hank Green’s Ducks & Lettuce Balls: [37:43 – 42:43]
• Electric Eel Voltage: [43:19 – 46:14]
• Prank Threats: [51:20 – 54:14]
• Tom Brady’s Cloning: [54:54 – 63:49]
• Name Traditions/Newborn Marvels: [66:03 – 77:49]

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Episode Tone

As ever, the Basement Yard is raw, digressive, boisterous, and unfiltered—warm friendship, sharp roasts, and existential spirals all rolled into a weirdly comforting and howlingly funny hour.

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Takeaways for Non-Listeners

• You can expect candid, overshared anecdotes and tangents that veer from everyday pet peeves to deep, cosmic questions.
• The conversation, while steeped in humor and occasional vulgarity, actually tackles questions about societal trends, technology, and existence in accessible, down-to-earth language.
• Inside jokes and pop-culture nods (e.g., Marvel, viral TikTok, classic bank lollipops) are balanced with relatable parental and friendship dilemmas.
• No need to worry about missing the supposed “black hole science lesson”—it becomes a funny, irreverent metaphor for everything they don’t understand (which is, hilariously, most things).

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For more, check out full episodes or follow the crew on social media for all things Basement Yard.

Transcript

[A]

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Natural and artificial flavors.

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Alcohol 13.75% by volume 27.5 proof. Copyright 2025, Agave Loco Brands, Pojoaquee, Wisconsin.

[A]

All rights reserved.

[B]

Welcome back to the base.

[A]

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank?

[B]

What do the kids do?

[A]

I don't know, but that.

[B]

What do they do?

[A]

Not any of that.

[B]

What do they do? I don't know out here.

[A]

Ask the kid.

[B]

What do you do, kid?

[C]

I'm tangled in my wires.

[B]

That sounded like a metaphor. Oh, this. They do this, right?

[A]

Yeah. Check pulse.

[B]

Is that. Is it a check pulse or is it, like. That's ice in my ice and veins. So this is checking pulse?

[A]

Well, this is checking pulse.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is checking. This is what.

[A]

Right. I've never felt a pulse so hard.

[B]

To keep up with. Like, what's in and out. Now I. Now I understand why our parents hated us so much.

[A]

I don't think that was the reason. I think there was other things.

[B]

There were so many things that we had that, like, were, like, inside jokes for us that, like, our parents didn't have, you know, like what? That's a good question. Yeah, there were some. There were some that, like how we hate the kids. Do the six, seven thing.

[A]

Yeah, I know. That was the first time that I'm kind of like, oh, God, I'm so. Dude.

[B]

And it's like a universally hated thing amongst parents.

[A]

Six, seven.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I was at a. We brought Ruby to a kid's birthday party, and one of the kids there was, like, his older brother, and he went like, 6, 7, 6, 7. And all the parents in the room groaned, and we, like, looked around and it was.

[A]

That just makes it stronger, though.

[B]

But the kids didn't, like. I don't think they realized that we hated it that much, but it was.

[A]

You were part of the groaning.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're groaning now.

[B]

I think I groaned. Yeah, I think I groaned a little bit. But, like, there was a beauty in the camaraderie of the hatred of this trend.

[A]

That's beautiful.

[C]

I know. Teachers hate it.

[B]

How do you know that?

[C]

All over the classrooms. I'm well versed in the teacher verse.

[A]

For why this is your job.

[B]

How and why?

[C]

Well, I know things.

[B]

This is your job. Yeah.

[A]

Like, he's in classrooms.

[B]

I mean, how do you know? Do you know teachers?

[C]

My mom's a teacher. My friends are teachers.

[B]

Oh, your mom's a teacher. So your mom tells you, like, man, six, seven is out of control?

[C]

Pretty much.

[A]

Antonio, what is this?

[B]

What's this? Antonio, what's this?

[A]

Sonia, what is this?

[B]

What is he. What's this? No more margaritas.

[A]

Me?

[B]

What are you taking a Red Bull?

[C]

I didn't open it yet.

[B]

Oh, but now I feel like now you have to.

[A]

I mean, now's the time. What age? Swear to God, if you do that in the middle of a conversation.

[B]

What age does your mom teach?

[C]

These are really good questions.

[B]

You don't know, so you know she's a teacher. You don't know whom she teaches?

[C]

Young.

[B]

That is. That is all of them. That's all young.

[C]

Gist.

[B]

Youngest. Like, second.

[C]

Second.

[B]

That's not youngest by definition.

[C]

That's not the younger ones.

[A]

So it's, like, very early.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

K through 3.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sure is definitely not what I was looking for.

[B]

All right. If you could be a teacher, bro, and you could get paid. Well, I don't know. What. Why was I saying that you'd be a teacher, but you're. You're teaching K through 3, 4 through 8.

[A]

That ain't it.

[B]

Or 9th through 12th. What are you doing? I know that the. The brackets are all over the place, but I just tried.

[A]

I think I would probably go through, like, kindergarten through third grade, only because.

[B]

I think first graders are annoying as fuck, bro.

[A]

4Th through 8th is probably devastating.

[B]

Yeah, that's a tough one.

[A]

And I'm worried about teaching high school because I don't know that I would know the curriculum that well.

[C]

You look like Robert De Niro there a little bit.

[B]

I know, I know, I know. I should have. So you said four through eight.

[A]

Do you call. Do you sneeze in your hand, by the way?

[B]

No, I. I Do you.

[A]

I. I do. I sneeze into my elbow. Like, I have to. I, like, panic because sometimes I sneeze into my hand. I'm like, why did I do that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like. But people tell you, like, cover your mouth but, like, don't sneeze like this.

[B]

It's like a cute thing that I do. I think I've told you this. When we're in the car, Becker and I are holding hands. When I'm driving, I'll take her hand and I'll sneeze on her.

[A]

Yeah, that's cute. That is disgusting.

[B]

Yeah. Let's be very clear about something. She does not.

[A]

Like, she don't.

[B]

Like, she does not. You know, she said, like. And, like, if I have to sneeze in the house, I'll, like, find her.

[A]

And sneeze in her hand and, like.

[B]

Try to sneeze on her and she runs away. Hey, man. Modern romance. Yeah, this is what it is. So you think fourth through eighth would be the most annoying?

[A]

Absolutely, bro.

[B]

Are you just trying to think about when you were the most annoying?

[A]

Just anybody? Like, I think that's when I was the most disruptive and so were you.

[C]

Is that puberty?

[B]

Puberty's like 6. 7. 7.

[C]

I don't want that one.

[A]

Yeah, I don't want puberty either.

[B]

Well, six to. Yeah, sixth and seventh grade would. That's in that bracket.

[A]

You know, they say puberty is like, oh, when your hormones are raging. I never really felt like that. Well, first of all, my nipples are budding.

[B]

Yeah, we knew what was going on with your nipples.

[A]

Yeah, my nipples were, like, puffy.

[B]

You're fucking. Your. Your budding nipples told the story that your body was not writing. I think I have a little bit.

[A]

Of, like, the gynecomastia stuff. Not like.

[B]

Like fat tits.

[A]

Yeah, it's like you get a little fat nipples. Like, I think I kind of.

[B]

No, you had that when you were. They were way fatter when I was going through puberty. Hubris.

[A]

Yeah, I was. I had puffed.

[B]

That's puffed, brother. It looked like someone, like. I'm not kidding. Like, someone glued Ring Dings to your chest.

[A]

I don't think you know what Ring Dings are.

[B]

All right, maybe not Ring Dings like the Entenmann's chocolate covered donuts. You know how they're, like, kind of, like, rubbery.

[C]

Those are so good.

[A]

They're also, like, black brown, so.

[B]

They're also dog. They're disgusting.

[A]

I hate those.

[B]

Yeah, they're not good. But, like, you had, like. It looked like someone put, like, a lifesaver under your shirt.

[A]

Yeah, kind of.

[B]

It's. Yo. I'm not, like, puffy and, like, the. The area, like, the middle part of the nipple, the areola was, like, in, so it was like a valley.

[A]

I don't have inverted nipples.

[C]

You did.

[A]

I don't know that I did. I think that it was all just puffed out.

[B]

Dude, if. If someone showed me your nipples in seventh grade, just, like, a picture.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They would look like a pair of tits.

[A]

All right.

[C]

My friend has inverted nipples.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Is he insecure for other things? Probably.

[B]

No, I meant for his nipples. Well, he's an adult with inverted nipples. What exactly is an inverted nipple? Can we clarify? I would assume it's like a dimpled nipple.

[A]

Like, it's like a. Like a nipple is in there. It's like, face.

[B]

Like, dimpled nipples. Dimpled nipple. It's like a nipple, but like, this dimple.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, is that.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, that's.

[B]

Yeah, a dimple.

[A]

There's not a joke in there.

[B]

I'll find it. I kind of have a feeling that like. Like, high school has got to be way harder because they're at an age where, like, fourth to eighth grade, I can, like, bark at them, be like, hey, hey, don't. Cut it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nine to 12, there's a chance they might be taller and bigger than me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they could me up.

[A]

They still listen.

[B]

Do they?

[A]

You can kind of, like, reason a little more. Like someone who's in sixth grade, seventh grade, who's just, like, you know, just crazy.

[B]

I feel like it's harder.

[A]

Like, I didn't like listening to any teachers.

[B]

I feel like it's probably harder now with the onset of social media because, like, inside jokes are, like, nationwide and worldwide now. Like, when we had inside jokes, it was like, in a classroom.

[A]

I mean, bro, this thing. This was worldwide.

[B]

This was. Oh, my God. The hand that.

[A]

Do you ever guys make hand?

[C]

Yeah, I've seen a hand.

[A]

Yeah, dude, you're like. You, like.

[B]

You're lit up.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah. Guess what? It does.

[A]

Teachers would be mad, too.

[B]

Like, hey, stop the pussy. They knew we were making pussies at them, you know? Make one.

[A]

You want to make a posey?

[C]

Oh, look in.

[B]

Let's be very clear. Doesn't look like that. Yeah, no, no.

[A]

Maybe after, like, the OB gyn, when they got you cranked open, maybe. You know what I mean? You're in the stirrups, and they're. They're opening you to check everything.

[B]

Maybe one of those things called that, like, open vaginas.

[A]

Oh, the clamp.

[B]

Yeah, clamp. No, there's a word for them.

[A]

Opener.

[B]

Keep going.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You'll find it. Does it. Does it look.

[A]

Because I. I mean, I've never been.

[B]

I think it's called, like, forceps.

[C]

Speculum.

[B]

No, that's not what I was thinking. No, that's not. So. I don't care for.

[A]

Were you ever in the room for something like that? Like, during childbirth stuff where they had.

[B]

To, like, check her out?

[A]

Yeah. Like, do they how do they.

[B]

I don't think I ever saw. When they had to, like, mechanics to open it. Yeah, they have, like, a car check.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't see that. Like, they. Yeah. Like, take it out of the trunk. Tie the fucking.

[A]

He's just.

[B]

He's taking the. Cracking it open.

[A]

It's kind of a wild.

[B]

It is insane.

[A]

What a compromising position.

[B]

What a compromising position. And it's crazy what women go through, bro. Isn't it crazy?

[A]

We go to the doctor, and it's like the doctor, like, holds your balls.

[B]

He's like, cough, cough once.

[A]

That's the extent, bro. If I had to be, like, basically, like, in a rocket ship with my legs up and the doctor's cranking open.

[B]

Lay back, let me get in. Like, it's got to be wildly invasive.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You know, I could only. I mean, I've been examined, like, in ways that the normal man does not have to get examined for medical things. Let's make that very clear. And, like, that's. That's uncomfortable for me, so. I can imagine it's just like a routine visit. Get up on the stirrups, brother.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if it's. If. If the way that you're going to the doctor is the same. The way that someone, like, mounts a horse.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

It's probably uncomfortable.

[B]

Insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you got a finger in your butt yet?

[A]

No. No.

[C]

Me neither.

[A]

Yeah, I guess we should probably ask Frank.

[B]

No, me neither.

[A]

No, I. I haven't. I mean, I've definitely, like, washed my butt pretty hard and, like, accidentally fingered your own asshole.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Fingered's crazy. Like, I'm not. Like, my whole finger was in there.

[C]

That's not what I.

[B]

Stop me. Stop me when it's gotten into your ass. Realistically.

[A]

Okay, well, you should start from the other side because it's only gonna get shorter. Like, if you can start at the top.

[C]

Wait, what?

[B]

Stop me. And I'm like, well, it started the other side. Okay.

[A]

No, no, I'm saying, like.

[B]

I hear what you're saying, but, like, I would say, like, all right, I'm.

[A]

Going up a third of the nail.

[B]

A third of the net. Oh, brother.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like. Would have been easier to start from the top.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't want to say. Stopping me. I know how fast he was gonna go.

[B]

I wasn't gonna go fast with my finger.

[A]

I bet you weren't.

[B]

I was not.

[A]

But, yeah, just, like, you know, meant by the doctor. Yeah. No, doctors never fiddle around in my.

[B]

I mean, fiddled is the non. Medical way to say it. Let's make it very clear. I mean, the only fingers that have been in my ass have been for medical reasons, but they are fiddling by definition. I don't think with fiddle has a sense of playfulness and joy to it. Yeah, like, when you got to make it fun. No, you don't. Nothing fun about it, dude.

[A]

I'm not a doctor, but I imagine it's got.

[B]

You know what fun. You are correct. You are not a doctor.

[A]

You know, you go to the doctor and they give you a lollipop. They're making it fun, dude.

[B]

I. If. If that's happening. Boy, all the doctors I've seen at poor bedside manner.

[A]

Real quick, which. Which job has the. No. Which. Which place has the best lollipops?

[B]

The bank.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

To bank lollipops. Those, like. I don't know why, but they're Italian. To me, the lollipops are Italian. And it's like they have, like, random white in the middle.

[A]

They're like yin and yang, but never black and white. They're always like, yeah, yellow and white.

[B]

Yellow, green, white, orange and red. Sometimes. What are those? Bank lollipops, dude.

[A]

They're kind of soft. Like, what is that?

[B]

What is the act? Could you buy bank lollipops? Or is it, like, once you open a bank that they reach out and there's like, listen, we see you got a bank here. It'd be really nice if you had some lollipops that no other place has on the planet.

[A]

I'll tell you what. I vividly remember going to the bank and Ridgewood. I went into Ridgewood and I put in my paycheck, which, by the way, not. No joke, $68. That's illegal.

[B]

We got it, Joe. You're making a lot more money now.

[A]

Oh, my God. But I put. But I put in $68. And then they made a complaint that I didn't have enough in the account. And, like, there was gonna be something. Dude. Or something.

[B]

Banks, dude.

[A]

I took eight lollipops. I was like, I'm leaving here with eight. First of all.

[B]

Absolutely. And I've taken pens from banks.

[A]

Frank.

[B]

Dude, I'm not leaving without a pen. I don't know if banks are still like that. If they are. Fuck you, banks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Second of all, it was the same thing. It was just like, all right, here's my first paycheck. And it's like, oh, you don't have this much in your account to cover it, so it won't be ready for three days. And I'm like, I only have 68.

[A]

Why do you want more from me? Well, I'm already in a bad place.

[B]

But not even. But not even that. It's just like they do the thing where it's like, well, you need the funds in there to account for. And I'm sure there are people that work for banks that are watching this that are just like, I can explain. I don't want to.

[A]

No one wants to know. I have $68 to my name and you're telling me that that's not enough and I should be charged for being poor already?

[B]

I am going to. We're going to play a quick game of guess the shirt that I was wearing. I have a picture of my mom and I at the bank when she. When I cashed my first, like, working paycheck, like on the books paycheck, I was wearing a graphic tee. I'm gonna give you three guesses to guess, at least in the realm of.

[A]

Which, I mean, it was Marvel.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Dc?

[B]

No.

[A]

Sports.

[B]

Joey, you think I was wearing a sports graphic tee?

[A]

I don't. I mean, I've. I've. I've exhausted my options here.

[B]

No, there's other. There's other avenues.

[A]

Was it like a pacsun type of vibe?

[C]

No.

[A]

Was it a, like a cheeky, like.

[B]

No.

[A]

If you're reading this, you're too close.

[B]

No. Like the man, the myth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it.

[A]

Was it a spray painted shirt?

[B]

No, it was Reptar.

[A]

Let me ask you a question. Why did you think that out of all the things that exist in the world that I was going to guess the dinosaur from Rugrats? Like, were you that confident and I was going to pull that out of my ass?

[B]

I thought you would at least be able to say, like, oh, it was something like cartoon related.

[A]

I was going to go to cereal box next because I know you had a couple.

[B]

I mean, you're moving in the right direction.

[A]

At least Cereal boxes is going towards.

[B]

Rugrats somehow in my head. Absolutely. And do you know who Reptar is?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He's very tapped into, like the original.

[B]

Weird looking chocolate bar. Remember the Reptar chocolate bars? It was like you bite into it and it was green and now you have those Dubai chocolate bars.

[A]

Yeah, those are gross.

[B]

Can we talk about something?

[A]

Dark chocolate sucks my fucking little balls.

[B]

Sure, we can talk about that.

[A]

Hate that. Hate dark chocolate. That's all I have.

[B]

That's all you got.

[A]

It's just so like. Not milk.

[B]

Yeah, that is correct. I was just ready to like, prepare a statement that Dubai chocolate bars look like poop from a butt. Like, they look. I'm not even kidding. Like, I understand that there's certain food that looks unappetizing, but then you eat it and it's good. We talked recently about oysters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't even imagine a world where a Dubai chocolate bar tastes like anything other than the dog shit that it looks like.

[A]

It's. It literally, like, it's, like, hairy.

[B]

Yeah. Like, people open up and it's like, look at this. And I'm like.

[A]

I'm seeing hair.

[B]

I. When people open it, I'm like. Is like, it looks like it's something that mushrooms grow on. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like a filthy, fucking disgusting poopy butt. Ahmed loves it.

[A]

I mean, I'm not like Ahmed loves it. There's a word for it, starts with a K, but I forget what it is, but it's like, it's. It's something. I just don't think the only. The only Dubai chocolate bar that I've ever had was dark chocolate, so I was already just not in a good mood.

[B]

Oh, you've tried one?

[A]

I have, yeah.

[B]

Oh. And what does it taste like, the middle? I know. It's like pistachios in there somewhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And pubes, I guess. Yeah.

[A]

And there's hair.

[C]

It looks really good.

[B]

Really? Stop.

[C]

Does it not? It looks like you're eating moss.

[A]

Well, I will say.

[B]

Why? Does that look good?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you a deer?

[A]

I think that we're finding out what. You know. Frank poops green pretty consistently, apparently.

[B]

No, but, like, tell me that doesn't look like shit. I'm not saying I fucking like that. No, but you could see why I feel like that is a guacamole. I could.

[A]

I'm going to give it a second shot when I had. When it's milk chocolate, because I just.

[B]

Can'T get some Dubai chocolate bars in here for the boy.

[C]

I can do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I imagine Frank eat the poop, you know? But, like, when there. There are some that I've seen that are just soaking wet.

[A]

Wet.

[B]

Yeah. Like, the middle is just sopping soaking wet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just like.

[A]

Yeah, wet. I get it. Have you ever seen a cooking show where they're making cakes and all of a sudden they have this. It's like a. Not a spray bottle, but it's like a. Like an oil bottle.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Or like. Like oil. Like in the.

[B]

No, I'm letting you go.

[A]

It's like a Like a ketchup bottle, but it's clear and they have oil and they go.

[B]

Okay, like a squirt bottle.

[A]

Yeah, like a squirt bottle, but there's like two or three holes and they, like, soak the cake in something. You ever see that?

[B]

Oh, when they wet the cake.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I have seen that. They do that a lot.

[A]

And, like, ganache, dude. I love when they make.

[B]

I do like, ganache. I do like a ganache. The best cupcake I've ever had was. And unbelievable was a Irish Car Bomb cupcake. Follow me, follow me, follow me.

[A]

How and why?

[B]

It was a Guinness, like, flavored cupcake. So they put, like, Guinness in it to make the cupcake. And then the ganache was a whiskey chocolate ganache.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the frosting on top was a Bailey's cream frosting. Dude, it'll take your ass and send it through the conveyor belt.

[C]

Would.

[A]

Was it alcoholic?

[B]

Like, I mean, all the alcohol was probably cooked off. Well, yeah, but, like, it was good.

[A]

You. That was the best cupcake you've ever had?

[B]

Best cupcake I've ever had in my life.

[A]

That's insane. That's insane.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

Just like a regular cupcake.

[B]

Regular cupcakes are overrated.

[A]

I don't like cakes in places. Does that make sense?

[B]

Dude, when you go to, like, homemade cakes, when you go to, like, listen, all power to, like, small business owners that have, like, confectionaries and, like, you know, make, like, specialty cakes and cupcakes. If I go to a bakery and I'm going for cupcakes, if this is the cupcake, there better be at most that much frosting on top when they do this.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I can't. It's like, like, how am I eating this?

[A]

Yeah, whom.

[B]

Whom's mouth do I'm have?

[A]

I. Yeah, like, you want me to eat this with a snake's mouth? Cobra snake.

[B]

You want that TikTok girl's mouth? The one that's fucking giant mouth, bro.

[A]

Why is that girl's mouth open up like a bat? It's just like, huh, unclear. It's crazy.

[B]

She looks like gold, B. Tell me I'm wrong a little bit.

[C]

I watched her fit a full can of Fosters in her mouth in front of me.

[B]

In front of you? You met. You met.

[C]

I met her.

[B]

You met the mouth woman?

[C]

Yeah, she came on. She came on my thing.

[A]

Oh, she was on your podcast.

[B]

Oh, I've talked to her before.

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I think. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah, yeah, both of you guys have met the mouth.

[A]

I haven't met the mouth. I did, I did.

[B]

I did talk to her though. You heard how he said she came on my. My thing. What? Why don't you. Come on, don't say it. No, no, no.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

My. It's a. I was trying to say.

[B]

Yeah, I was trying to like, not.

[C]

I was trying to.

[A]

My other day, like, that's where I met her. You're a walking billboard. It's over.

[B]

So wait, I imagine. I imagine that her life is difficult cuz people just say like, let's. Let's see what your mouth can do.

[A]

Well, she. That's like her thing. Yeah, she's like turned it into her thing.

[C]

She came over like we. We had her bananas and like other things and.

[B]

Bananas, brother.

[A]

Why did you say banana?

[B]

Why did you say bananas?

[C]

Saying like we had her. We all tried to put different things in our mouths together. We were bad at it. She was very good.

[B]

And then I ask you a question. Bananas, like at their girthiest are like.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A half dollar this way.

[B]

Oh, she do it sideways. Yeah, like she's a. Like the monkey phone.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

You remember the monkey phone? Banana.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Monkey banana phone.

[A]

Did your mind the places it goes? Yeah.

[C]

And her husband came in and he saw like all the things and he was like, yeah, that's what usually what people make her do. I'm like, damn it.

[A]

Yeah. No, I mean she. You remember the scene that I think of is one of the naked guns where he has the full fucking watermelon in his mouth.

[B]

Don't remember that.

[A]

Turns around, he's like, oh, wait, no, that's not that. It's not in the Naked Gun. That's in one of the movies. Never mind. Oh, it's a movie called Mafia. Do you know what that is? It was a parody on like the Godfather and whatnot.

[B]

Oh, no, I.

[A]

But I think it was. I was about to say Leslie Mann. That's wrong.

[B]

I mean she might have been in it. She is a comedic actress. Leslie Nielsen.

[A]

Yeah, Nielsen. Yeah, it was him.

[B]

Rip. Rip to our. As Joey calls him White King.

[A]

When have I called him that?

[B]

The fuck?

[A]

Definitely haven't called them that. You know what, let's get to some sponsors after that. I mean, I don't know where to go from there, honestly. But we do have some sponsors. The first one being. How you doing? We have Squarespace. Okay. Squarespace is going to be the platform where you are going to build your website. Okay? Squarespace, they make it very easy to build your website. We've used them for a number of years now. All the, you know, landing pages and platform, all the landing pages that we have, we've built with Squarespace. Our website is Squarespace. But I think it's the best platform to build your website mainly because they have an awesome, they have awesome templates to choose from. So you can just click on that. It populates the website. You kind of change out the photos and text and it's fully functionable. And you know, if you spend enough time doing it, you can get it done in like a day. Which I've, I've done that before depending on like how, you know, simple the idea is, but it's very helpful. They also have a lot of tools that are going to help you optimize your traffic and keep track of everything for you. So you can optimize that. And you get emails sometimes updating you on where the traffic's coming from and this and that. So there are a lot of tools that are going to help you if you have an E commerce business or you make content or whatever. Having a good website is very important. You want to look professional and you know that ultimately will help. So you can head to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain by using the code basement. Again that is squarespace.com basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain using that code basement. Okay, so go enjoy that. We also have Aura Frames. Okay. And Aura Frames is a really cool gift. Last year for Christmas I got it for like a bunch of people. My mom has it, she loves it. But basically it's this frame where you can upload pictures and video to and it kind of is like a slideshow. So we have one, we gave one to our mom and we kind of all upload, you know, pictures and videos and stuff. So you could see my nieces and nephews and if I go on a trip or something. So it's nice and it's a really cool gift idea for people, even if it's for, you know, your partner or something, like pictures of you guys throughout the years. Like it's a really cool thing. But yeah, you can personalize the gift. You can preload photos before you even ship it, stuff like that. And for a limited time you can visit or frames.com and you get $45 off of Aura's best selling carver Matte FR named number one by Wirecutter by using the promo code, basement at checkout. Okay, so that is aura frames, spelled A u r a frames dot com. And the promo code is basement. And you will save 45 off of the best selling Carver mat frames. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best deal of the year. So order now before it ends. And you can support the show by mentioning us at checkout as well. Terms and conditions apply. But go get some an OR frame for one of your loved ones. It's a. It's a great gift.

[B]

But yeah, that is a great gift. You know what else is a great gift? Because the holidays is rapidly approaching. More of us. That's right. The gift of the basement yard boys. And that gift could be given in the form of Patreon. That's right, folks. We tell you guys about Patreon all the time. So if there's anyone in your life, loved ones or yourself, and you want to gift yourself something a little saucy and crazy and filthy and stinky this year, why don't you give the gift of the basement patreon. Patreon.com the basement yard. You go there, you can check out the tiers. There's several tiers, Several tiers. They're there. They're all good. Tears, bigly tears. And if you get that first here, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So not only will you get a week ahead episode on Monday, but then you get exclusive episodes on Friday that are only for your eyes. And guess what? If you've never been a patron before or you dipped out and you have, you have to take a couple weeks or months or whatever off, all those back cataloged episodes are there for you. They are there for you at your viewing. Hundreds of hours of the basement yard available at your fingertips. Okay, so go check it out. Patreon.com thebasemanyard and why don't you save yourself a couple bucks if you go and you type in that URL on a web browser, whether it be Safari prime. That's not one. Google Chrome. That is one. You're gonna save yourself some money, okay? If you use the smart app, well, it's gonna take extra money from you because the companies that make. There's a lot of technicalities to it I don't understand. But go on a web browser and type in patreon.com thebasementyard Sign up, enjoy. Give the gift. Do whatever you wanna do. It's worth it. We love you, we miss you. And we'll Talk to you later, baby. Back to you, Joe Bow. We love you.

[A]

We miss you.

[B]

We do. We love you and we miss you. In theory. What were we just talking about before?

[A]

It doesn't matter because there's more pressing matters, which is apparently there's a black hole that's like eating other galaxies.

[B]

I heard of this.

[A]

What's a black hole? Right? I don't know. What is it? I think.

[B]

I think a black hole is. It is like a break in the space time continuum that just swallows light and matter and it just turns it into dust.

[A]

I don't. I think.

[B]

Where does it go, though?

[A]

I think it's a. There's another aside. Like, you go through a black.

[B]

Because a hole needs a side. Hole needs two sides. That's what makes a hole a hole. Yeah, like, you gotta go.

[A]

If you're going in a hole, there's got to be something in there.

[B]

But, like, how do we know what's on the other side?

[A]

You don't.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

That's. So, like, what's. What's it doing with these galaxies? Where is it putting them?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Like, your mouth is a hole and there's two sides.

[A]

Now you got to chill. I don't want to talk about my mouth.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Because I know where this is going.

[B]

I was going to say, like, think about it. Like, if. Let's say a galaxy is a Twix Bar, Milky Way or something stupid like Mike and Ike's.

[A]

Where are you going?

[B]

Your mouth is a black hole and it swallows the galaxy. Mike and Ikes. It doesn't just stay in your body forever. It eventually it goes out somewhere.

[A]

Frank. The. A black hole. Do you know what a black hole is? Did you, like, look it up or something?

[C]

I'm just looking up some. Keep going.

[A]

But a black. A black hole, from my understanding. You know what? I don't have an understanding. I don't know.

[C]

Did you.

[B]

Does it travel? Does it, like, moves?

[A]

It's not just a hole.

[B]

It's a moving. How does a hole move, bro? It's like those, like Wiley Coyote. Like when he draws a hole in the walls, it. And then pulls it. Literally.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

I'll give this fact about it, which I didn't know. So. Black holes range in size from tiny structures comparable to a human cell to giants and billions of times more than the mass of the sun.

[B]

So you're. Stop it. First of all, if it's billions of times larger than the sun, we could be in a hole right deep in a hole. Well, no, if we got in a hole, we'd be going.

[C]

It'd be a big problem.

[B]

It'd be a big old foul.

[A]

What's. Who's to say?

[B]

I mean, I could be one side of the hole. That doesn't mean that we're not in. But I think they figured out that within the hole, like, it's like it's a hole, and then when it gets in there, it's like you get eaten up. It's like a Sarlacc.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

It's the opposite. The gravity is so intense in a black hole that every, like, let's say centimeter of your body gets stretched.

[B]

Spaghettification.

[C]

Get spaghettified.

[B]

Spaghettification.

[C]

I've heard about spaghetti.

[B]

You will become a bigger spaghetti meatball.

[A]

Why do you guys know that term?

[B]

I've watched Loki.

[C]

Science.

[B]

You're also. Also science.

[A]

This is your job.

[B]

You're not science. No, things also science. Yeah. No spaghettification, where it stretches your body and you literally are shredded like a piece of spaghetti.

[C]

I think the it being this. It could be the size of a cell. What does that mean? Like, I get.

[B]

Like.

[A]

I wouldn't know that I'm being. That there's a hole.

[B]

Well, I think that being big, I think a black hole the size of a cell is probably not gonna swallow us.

[C]

But how does.

[A]

But it's got to do something.

[C]

How does it exist?

[B]

Because there are things that are smaller than us in this world.

[A]

What does it live off of? A black hole?

[B]

I don't think. I think it's the. It's the absence of light and matter. So, like, it doesn't live off anything, and it just kind of consumes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think, like, I don't like black holes.

[A]

That's racist, dude.

[B]

Well, I don't like any holes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what? I'm not doing myself.

[A]

That doesn't either. But I don't know. Like, obviously, I've watched. What's the movie?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Interstellar.

[B]

That's the one.

[A]

And, like, the black hole there, it's like, this whole thing, and he's, like, floating in this weird purgatory of if.

[B]

You found out that we could go into a black hole, but we have, like, an 85% chance, like, you could see what's over there. And then we can bring you back. 85% chance, though.

[A]

You doing it? Are you crazy? I'm not doing that. No.

[B]

Okay. All right. I thought the are you crazy? Was like.

[A]

Yeah, no, I want to see what.

[B]

Art is out There. I want to see.

[A]

No, what?

[B]

Black hole?

[A]

Joey's like, I really don't want to be in a black hole.

[B]

I mean, but you could go and come out like, you can go and.

[A]

Like, you should have an 85 chance. That's 15 chance of Dan.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. 85 is pretty good, though. Those are good numbers. Watch this. And 85, 15. You taking it?

[A]

He said he's go. He'd go twice.

[C]

What if it's just dark?

[B]

Well, you don't.

[A]

Could.

[B]

You don't know. I'll do it.

[A]

I'd do it.

[C]

85, 15. I'll take that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just don't like the idea of, like, a black hole. Just, like, creeping.

[A]

Like, what happens if it get. Wait, is this one bigger than Earth that we're talking about?

[C]

Which one?

[A]

The one that I'm talking about. Like, there was a. There's a. There's one that's, like, moving.

[B]

And it's like.

[A]

First of all, it's eaten a galaxy. Obviously, it's bigger than the Earth. We're doomed. But that's crazy, dude.

[B]

I don't know. Like, this scares me more than, like, real things should scare me.

[A]

You don't like space?

[B]

I don't like space. I don't like underwater. Yeah, you.

[A]

Which do you think you don't like more, space or the depths of the water?

[B]

Depths of the water. Because it's right here. It's closer.

[A]

I mean, space is right there.

[B]

Is right there. But water is right here. Like, I can go and be in the. In the problem.

[A]

Yeah, okay, I get it.

[B]

But also, I guess, like.

[A]

But it's. It's so much smaller than space. Like, this sheer size of space scares me.

[B]

That is scary. Like, the idea of, like, sizeless. You ever sizeless? You ever seen those things that are just like. It shows, like, a person in Times Square, say, and then it keeps zooming out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it gets to, like, the Milky Way galaxy, and it's like, not even a fucking pixel. Yeah, that me up. It's.

[A]

And it's funny because sometimes I see videos like that. It's like, oh, you're. You're worried about, like, how you. Or you're worried about being cringy. And then it does that and you're real.

[B]

And it's really. Honestly, it helps because it puts it.

[A]

In perspective a little bit. And I'm like, what the am I doing? Yeah, you know, like, you're a little scared about doing something. A little worried about something. And it's like, I get it because we're all having a human experience, and it's like, I gotta worry about this. I can't think about the. The size of the whole universe every time I make a decision. But when you really get the perspective, you're like, damn, dude. The chances. What are the chances that you get to be born? Yeah, it is like.

[B]

I mean, I think. I think the astronaut that went to the moon said that, like, there was, like, something that happened to them where, like, they got freaked out because they looked at Earth and they were like, everything about human existence is there.

[A]

Right there.

[B]

It's right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, that concept is freaky.

[A]

I feel like if space travel became very accessible. Not like travel, but if you were able to, like, get right outside of the atmosphere and, like, see Earth, that. I feel like even if I saw it, I wouldn't believe what I'm looking at. Like, I'd be like, this is not real.

[C]

How.

[A]

How are we in a circle, guy?

[B]

Well, there's a lot of people that don't think we're in a circle. They think that we're on a disc. You know that too, though.

[A]

I'd be like, bro, Whoa, flat.

[B]

I just.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, space is crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just don't know what else to say. I mean, like, the idea of space that, like, we are just floating, like, and we're just moving in, like, a predetermined path. And if we get off that path a little bit, we're fucking toast, bro.

[A]

Also, think about as a society as, like, a planet. We have gotten like. Like, we're very intelligent life forms.

[B]

Yeah. On Earth, some of us more intelligent.

[A]

Than others, some would say. But then, like, when you consider everything else, you're like, we don't know literally anything.

[B]

Well, that's the freakiest quote that I've heard is Neil DeGrasse Tyson, which Neil still come on the show.

[A]

I would love to have Neil.

[B]

God, Neil, we have so many questions for you that we know you can answer.

[A]

One being what kind of shampoo you use.

[B]

Got good hair, dude. But also, he said, like, we don't know what we don't know. And, like, yeah, that's. To me, that's crazy because, like, you can look at something and be like, oh, I understand. Like, that's a camera, but I don't know how it works. Yeah, but, like, then there's things about the universe or physics or anything that we just can't. Our brain, at its current level of knowledge, can't even comprehend understanding.

[A]

I'll go even lower, bro. Phone calls.

[B]

Phone calls. Fuck me.

[A]

Phone calls.

[B]

Phone calls do fuck.

[A]

We're all pretending like phone calls are just like it's.

[B]

It's become such a normal part fucking. I hear you, brother. Fuck that. Cameras. What?

[A]

Cameras.

[B]

Cameras. What the fuck, bro?

[A]

Cameras. There's like a physical thing though.

[B]

No, no, no, no. But like old timey ones where it was like the big bulb that flashed onto a paper or something.

[A]

I feel like that's way easier to understand.

[C]

No, dude, radio. Like sound waves.

[B]

Like radio waves. Phone calls.

[C]

Radio waves. I don't.

[A]

Bro, how does a phone call happen? Don't say waves.

[B]

What's the waves? That's my question. You're telling me I'm calling to someone?

[A]

I'm talking to someone on the other side of the planet? Yeah. What?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Or even better, you're talking to an astronaut in space.

[C]

Mm.

[A]

How the fuck phone call get there?

[B]

I can. I can understand that now, but in 1969, where they're like, you know, small step for man, one giant step for mankind. How are you? They're up there, brother. Dude, we're here. Why do I need to call collect in order to fucking reach, you know, Barbara three streets away?

[A]

And obviously like a phone call. Figuring out how to phone call works is like, I'm sure there's an answer. Whatever. My thing is this. How did someone think of that? Like, how did someone be like, we'll. We'll just put it. And it won't. Nothing will be connected.

[B]

And I know that. Say, like, we figured out a way to transmit a signal of you talking to a tower which goes to another tower and pings to that person. You said a bunch of stuff that.

[A]

I don't have answers to.

[B]

And I'll be honest with you, I've heard the answers still don't make sense to me. I don't think Neil could really help us with phone calls.

[A]

Well, he's gonna get the question.

[B]

Not a telecommunication specialist.

[A]

He better be.

[B]

But you know what? Yeah. When you're that smart and famous for being smart, you better have all the answers. And Hank too, bro. Hank Green.

[A]

Hank probably knows.

[B]

Hank probably knows. And he'd probably put it in a way everything he does that he's good and he'd put in a way that's very easily digestible, but also like, fuck you, Hank. Why do you need to know that, you smart bitch?

[A]

I have such an. Did I ever tell you about how Hank Green, like, will text me randomly?

[B]

Did I ever tell you that Tank Green doesn't text me.

[A]

He will Randomly text me a picture of like a duck.

[B]

It's kind of cool. And it's always just like, you know how smart.

[A]

Like, it's just like so random.

[C]

That is so funny.

[A]

You know, it's like you need to.

[B]

Be part to like, just send pictures of ducks.

[A]

What?

[B]

That's just, I think, like, that's such a smart person's thing to do.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because he's probably like the. The cosm, the cosmic randomness that this animal exists on this color palette with this gradient that's tricking our eyes into seeing and existing at the time.

[A]

I think it's just a duck.

[B]

No, Hank's not doing it just for the duck.

[A]

I think he's just ducking it.

[C]

My friend used to send me a picture of his balls with lettuce on it every day at Lettuce.

[B]

Yeah. Your friend. I'm going to say it is not hanging. Should be in prison every day.

[C]

Every day at 12pm at a certain point.

[B]

12Pm Were they not working a normal job?

[A]

Yeah. What's going on? Well, there's no. Okay.

[B]

They were lettuce. Dick.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just balls on lettuce.

[C]

Remind me. No lettuce on balls. Sorry.

[A]

Was it.

[B]

I'm going to ask some follow up questions.

[A]

Was it the same photo or.

[C]

Unclear. I think it was. It was some different flavor sometimes.

[B]

How long did this go on?

[C]

Three months.

[B]

And at what point did you block his number?

[C]

It's just like, why you keep doing this? It was really just more the question.

[B]

So what you're saying is he didn't block his number?

[C]

I did not block his number. He was my friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, was he?

[C]

After a while, it's like you can only see so many balls.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you didn't see so many. You saw the same balls.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

With Mo, you saw more lettuce than balls.

[C]

That's also true.

[A]

That's also true. Well, I can't say that's. That. That's not my experience with Hank Green. It's just ducks.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I haven't gotten a duck in a while. I will say that. It's just.

[B]

When was the last time you got some balls?

[A]

Balls. Oh, that's been years since I got a pair of balls. Let me see the last duck I got from Hank.

[B]

That seems like a smart person's thing to do to, like, be so amazed by.

[A]

This is the last duck. This was December 2nd. So we're almost going on a year.

[B]

Wow. Year with no duck. Ha.

[A]

That's one Duck. Do you guys want to see them?

[C]

Is it a pretty duck?

[A]

Well, this one's not. This is the. This is a duck.

[B]

That's Howard the Duck.

[C]

Yeah, it's Howard.

[A]

I don't know who that is. Then he sent. He sent this duck, which is a middle finger. I don't think he was upset that day. What else we got? The first one was it. Oh, well, I was.

[B]

That was a fuck duck. That was a fuck duck? Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

He sent you a duck.

[A]

I honestly was so confused by the original duck that I just sent a duck back. Oh, wait, no. Well, the first text he ever texted me said, hello is Hank Green, and then sent a picture of a sick duck. Not a Whoa, cool duck.

[B]

That's. That. You know what? I could see why you'd send that.

[A]

That's a sick duck.

[B]

That's a really good duck.

[A]

But then the next time we spoke, he just sent a picture of a duck coming out of a banana.

[B]

That's a good duck, too, honestly. Yeah, I kind of. I don't hate that one. Peel a duck.

[A]

At that point, I was very confused, so I sent something back. It was like a koala wearing a hat.

[B]

That's not a bad one either.

[C]

That's not what you send back.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, if you're sending. Responding to a duck, it needs to be better than a duck.

[A]

So that's what I sent back. And then he sends me a text three months later of a giant duck building. So I sent a duck back, and then we had a conversation about just nothing. And then the next time we talked again, it was another duck. It's just like a very. You know, it's just one of those things. I feel like people like that, it's.

[B]

Like, you know, we. We.

[A]

It's just. It's just a thing you got to do. We send him a duck.

[B]

Right now we have archaeologists and linguistics that are still trying to decipher some of the, you know, language and text from ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, other ancient civilizations. This is what we're doing with our time. Sending ducks, banana ducks, orange ducks.

[A]

All this because we were talking about fucking black holes, dude.

[C]

There's something beautiful about it.

[A]

Yeah, there is.

[B]

There is the kinship that he must feel with you, like maybe the people. You know what?

[A]

I hope he's not sending ducks to everyone.

[B]

That would. Yeah, then he's cheating on you.

[A]

I'd like to be the duck.

[B]

He's a duck cheater.

[A]

I'd like to. Yeah, I'd like to be the. The only duck in his pond. Now That's. I don't want to be that.

[B]

You can swim in his pond. That's an okay way to say it.

[A]

Friendship, Lee. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Platonic.

[A]

Friendly is the word that I was going with. Friendshiply.

[C]

Maybe sending somebody else. Like, turtles.

[B]

Yeah. But then again, if he is. But, like, if Hank green. We're doing 10 minutes.

[A]

I know Hank Green's getting airtime.

[B]

If Hank Green is sending you a duck, would you be insulted if he sends someone else, like, a cooler animal, like a tiger or a giraffe?

[A]

Nah, nah, nah, bro.

[B]

If he.

[A]

I may take a page out of his book, though, and do this, like, the next person that I give my number to, I'm just gonna, like, send a photo with every text and see how long it takes until, like, what?

[B]

It wouldn't hurt you if you found out that he has, like, a rank and file based off of how much he likes someone based off of his favorite animals. And he hates ducks.

[A]

I would certainly be confused because I feel like our interactions have been positive. So for me to get the negative duck would be very confusing.

[B]

Like, say you get a duck and then he texts me, like, again, like a cool animal.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like a gorilla.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or an electric eel.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Well, how did your mind go there?

[B]

I'm just thinking cool animals.

[A]

You ever eaten an eel?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Sushi.

[A]

Yeah, it's all right.

[B]

I mean, it's been cooked.

[A]

Are electric eels electric?

[B]

Yeah, brother.

[A]

Like, they will, like, electrocute me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll get hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I die?

[B]

Yep. Really? Oh, yeah. Or is it like. No, they can.

[C]

You need a lot of them. But are they, like.

[A]

They're charged.

[B]

They're charged. They'll let it rip. Beyblade style.

[A]

Can they. Can they, like, shock me from where you are?

[B]

Like, if you're in the water. If you're in the water.

[A]

So it's like Pikachu.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. They are. They are Pokemon in real life.

[A]

Wait, they can throw electricity at me?

[B]

Not like. Like, you would have to be within close proximity. Touch them. Yeah.

[A]

Well, if I touch them, that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So they just have it coursing through their bodies?

[B]

Well, they have. Yes, dude. They have to, like, let it go. They have to, like, I imagine, like.

[A]

It'S like a porcupine. Because they could, like, kind of shoot their shit.

[B]

No, porcupines don't know.

[A]

They don't shoot.

[B]

They actually just kind of like, it just comes out. They do one of those. They, like, arch their back and they get, like, all whorish.

[C]

How. How many electric eels you think it would take to power a house? Average house?

[B]

Oh, brother.

[A]

200.

[B]

No, a, hundreds of thousands.

[C]

16,000 eels.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I, I, what planet am I living on?

[B]

I was right.

[A]

Honestly, if my answer was correct, we could just.

[B]

Yeah, but we wouldn't because of big energy.

[A]

Right, Exactly. We would just start killing eels.

[B]

I mean, we could, we could, like, it would be not right.

[A]

Wait, so does that mean can I get hurt from an eel? Like, it like would really fuck me up if I touch an eel.

[C]

It could.

[B]

I mean, if you took your, your home power, you went to your box and you fucking gave forks in the side.

[A]

16,000 eels.

[C]

Do you want a single eel fact?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Would that be nice? A single eel can produce up to 860 volts.

[B]

That'll get you, brother.

[A]

I don't, I don't know. Volts, right?

[C]

So that's why I was going to go into nearly four times the voltage of a standard plug socket.

[A]

They are that electric.

[B]

Good job, Good job. Can I talk to them real quick? Just tell them, tell them what I'm gonna say.

[A]

That is way more electric than I thought.

[B]

So, like, there are people like that. They'll get you, dude.

[A]

Yeah, I mean that, that will like literally put you down.

[B]

If I put you. It'll fuck your day up.

[A]

God, that's scary.

[B]

I don't can like a wall socket. I know it can harm a human and again give them burns. I don't know if they could kill them though.

[A]

I mean, I'm pretty sure, like if your heart gets like jumped a little bit, go down.

[B]

Yes, yes, absolutely.

[A]

But did I tell you a story about my dad got electrocuted?

[B]

Yes. You have. In the garage, right?

[A]

No, no, he got electrocuted because he was like holding. We were doing like a construction job and he was holding on to like an end of a thing and accidentally like, I guess forgot what. He was holding it and held this and he went and the light turned on. Like that's how much electricity went through his body that the light turned on. I had to be resuscitated.

[B]

That was last. I've, I've gotten an electric shock. I don't think technically I've been electrocuted because I think the cute part of it means that there is a.

[A]

It's not so cute.

[B]

It's, there's death involved. Yeah, I've gotten shocked a handful of times.

[A]

Nothing like crazy from like an outlet dude.

[B]

I used to do at my old job, I, I responded to a couple cases where people like had third degree burns up their Arms.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Because there was one in particular. It was in the basement of a construction project in Manhattan. And it was a guy, just something blue, and he was right there while he was working on it. And it fucking like. It. It was. It was bad.

[A]

Yeah. Also while we're talking about this, like, phone calls, whatever. Electricity.

[B]

That one makes more sense.

[A]

It does.

[B]

But like, what? Because they can just. They can send it plate. They can make it and send it places.

[A]

Yeah, but like.

[B]

But like. And it's like kind of like a physical thing.

[A]

It feels yellow. It does.

[B]

Well, that's. That's because of Pokemon, but. Well, because of Pokemon.

[A]

And like.

[B]

Like bulbs. Light bulbs.

[A]

But like, electricity feels yellow.

[B]

It does. It's a yellow. It's a yellow thing.

[C]

You know, I think electricity makes sense because that's all, like, hardwired and you see the wires and everything. What's about adjacent to electricity is how you could just, like, put your phone down on something and charge it.

[B]

Dude, does it make sense?

[C]

Or you walk in doesn't. There are. Sometimes you walk into a room and the room can charge your phone. Don't know what that means.

[A]

What?

[B]

I've never heard.

[C]

That's like a thing going.

[A]

Can that be good for you?

[B]

No, it can't be.

[C]

Probably.

[B]

Absolutely not. No. We're dying tomorrow.

[A]

The whole place is fucking charged up.

[C]

So now, that part I don't understand.

[B]

I don't. Like, I never. I've never seen it, but I heard about it where it's like this magic thing at JFK where you could, like, walk through and, like, it'll only put up your information on the screen. And like, someone stands next to you and they walk through at the exact same time, but they see theirs and not yours.

[A]

This is some Harry Potter.

[B]

It really is. Like, I. I kind of like. I want Harry Potter to stay in Harry Potter.

[A]

Oh, I don't. I would love to be a wizard.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, dude, I would love that.

[B]

I mean, I would do. Who am I lying?

[A]

Yeah, we do have some.

[B]

Why would you murder me?

[A]

We have sponsors. Listen, got to be safe out there. We have simply safe, okay? It's a real security system that is going to help you stop a crime before it even starts. Okay? They have 247 monitoring, and they're going to look after your house for you. So traditional systems, they react after someone's inside. So someone breaks into your house that sets off an alarm. These things like Simplisafe, it's different. It's proactive. So they have live agents actually confront Potential criminals while they are still outside before they break in. So new level of security here. Not waiting for something to happen. Trying to be more preventative. So it's. It's great. And Simply Save, they have a bunch of like cameras. They have things you put on the window. What am I looking for? What's the. What's the thing? What's the thing? Motion sensors. Motion sensors. They have stuff like that. And they have a big sale of the year right now. Okay, 60 off. Our listeners get early access to Simply Saves Black Friday sale where they can save 60%. So crazy. So don't miss out on Simply Safe's biggest sale of the year. 60 off right now. Okay, 60 off. SimpliSafe home security [e-mail] basement. That is S I, M, P L I S A F E dot com basement. Okay? There is no safe like SimpliSafe. 60% off. I mean, this is what you want. And lastly here we have Wayfair. Wayfair is the go to destination for everything now. Okay? So no matter your style or budget, they have a lot of furniture. Indoor outdoor furniture, living room, bedroom, dressers, rugs. You know, I feel like everyone I know has something Wayfair in their apartment. So you can earn rewards and get the best savings in the neighborhood with Wayfair's new loyalty program. 5% back on every item across Wayfair's family of brands. Free shipping and members only sales. Yeah, they have a huge selection of home goods and stuff. And don't miss out on the early Black Friday deals. Had to wait. Where? Sorry. Wayfair.com now to shop. Wayfair's Black Friday deals for up to 70% off, which is crazy. Wayfair spelled w a y dash f a I r dot com. The sale ends December 7th. But don't miss out on the early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfair.com 70% off. Insane. There you go, folks. All right. What are you whispering?

[C]

He whispers things into my ear.

[A]

Sometimes that's like the worst time to play a prank.

[B]

I mean, but you can't hear it. It's the edit. If you're doing it into a microphone, it can make it into the episode. Yeah, but they cut my audio out.

[A]

Hope so.

[B]

I mean, they would do. I said something and he goes.

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

Pranks.

[B]

It is pranks. Good old fashioned pranks. Joey. Jesus Christ. When's the last time you pranked someone? Be honest. Exactly.

[A]

1999. Frank.

[B]

Live a little, live a little, Live less. We could get. He wants me to die. We could get swallowed by a fucking black hole tonight. And you're gonna die thinking, oh, my God, I'm turning into spaghetti. I should have pranked people more, been more playful.

[A]

You saying I could get swallowed tonight?

[B]

I mean, I don't know. By a black hole, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And you could turn into spaghetti. You're just like, oh.

[A]

So what's the word? Spaghettified?

[B]

Spaghettification.

[A]

Spaghettification.

[B]

That doesn't sound like a bad way to go out. I imagine it hurts for a little.

[A]

Bit, though, getting stretched thin. Yeah, I would.

[B]

But, like, it probably happens so quick that you won't feel anything.

[A]

No, I imagine, like, Jumanji, where it's.

[B]

Like, oh, his hands. Oh, my God. Good movie. Yeah, good movie.

[A]

You ever seen Jumanji?

[C]

I have seen Jumanji.

[A]

The out of here.

[B]

No, you haven't seen.

[A]

Not the original.

[B]

Yeah, we're not. We're talking, you know, welcome to the. We're not talking. Welcome to the jungle. We're talking.

[A]

You know something?

[B]

We're talking the original, baby. Robin Williams, Alan Parrish.

[C]

Yeah, I got it.

[B]

Put some respect on his.

[A]

Yo, those bugs in that movie. Nightmares.

[B]

Those bugs are bad. When he gets stuck in the floor and the spider's coming toward him.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. And he's like, but legitimately, my nightmare. Like, legitimately, the last thing I would want.

[B]

Could we, like, get you in a room with bugs?

[A]

We have. I held a.

[B]

No, no, no. Like, I want. Let's prank Joey. Let's get him. One day, we'd be like, yo, we're doing, like, a filming for, like, this watch. Company wants to give you their biggest watch. I can't at, like. Oh, we could say, like, yo, Rolex wants you to be, like, their spokesboy.

[A]

And, like, spokes, boy.

[B]

You got to go into this room, and he goes in a room, we shut the door.

[C]

He'll either fire me or, like, we'll have to throw hands.

[A]

Yeah. If you guys did that, like, I'm not letting it go.

[B]

Like, realistically.

[A]

No, I am not letting it go. I'm being serious. But, like, realistically, I'm being serious. If you came in here, right, and you. And you, like, had a tarantula and you threw it on me, there will be a reaction.

[B]

What would the reaction be?

[A]

Something that I know you will hate. And I don't know what it is right now, but I will get creative.

[B]

Oh, like pranking me back. That's okay.

[A]

You can prank. A prank.

[B]

I talk. I take a prank.

[A]

I mean, I'm talking about a reaction. Like, it could be like, what are you going to do?

[B]

Like, fucking like. Like, like put a bomb in my house or something.

[A]

Put a bomb in your house? Who am I?

[B]

I don't know. You're saying the Punisher. That would be pretty cool.

[A]

The absolute, like, Max that I would probably do is like, smash your windshield.

[B]

I'd take that. Honestly, that's. I think that's a fair trade.

[A]

Like a. Like a. Just.

[B]

I'll give up a. A windshield if it means that we can get you in a room. Just like head to toe.

[A]

I mean, I held a tarantula. I'm actually very proud of myself that I did that.

[C]

I'm proud.

[A]

I like, held that tarantula in my hand. And like, I. Thinking about that now is not good.

[B]

We also held. We held a couple bugs. We should get the bug guy back. Let's see if we can. And let's. Or let's get.

[A]

We still got the bug guy. Merch. He had merch.

[B]

Yeah, we still got it. Ry Ryan, the bug guy, I think his name was.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't know. But it made it over in the transfer of studios, which shocked me. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, we respect the people that come in here. Ant, that's not.

[C]

Yeah, well, sort of.

[A]

It was on the rack. That's why it made it.

[B]

Speaking of rack, did you see that? I was like, how are you bringing.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

See, Tom Brady cloned his dog.

[A]

What does that have to do with racks?

[B]

Nothing. I just thought of a way to move on to. Okay, different. Yeah, Tom Brady cloned his dog. Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna do it.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

First of all, what. I imagine that costs a pretty penny. Tom Brady's doing it. It's Tom Brady money.

[A]

Well, there's a conspiracy that. Not a conspiracy, but he's like on the board of the company. So it's like a fucking PR move.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

It literally sounds like Hagrid.

[B]

Is driving around comes that black hole.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Like, what is that?

[A]

I don't know what that is, but like the board of this company that like, clones things, I guess. I don't know.

[B]

Oh, wait, we're doing cloning now? Apparently in cloning, we didn't we clone.

[A]

A sheep like 20 years ago? Am I making.

[B]

Yeah, and people were pissed about that. They did not like why they were upset about that.

[A]

We need wool.

[B]

Yeah, but there's other ways to do that that are not cloning. There's, there's, there's definitely ethical conversations to have around cloning. Is cloning not ethical, I imagine.

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

That's a clone, all right.

[A]

You don't have to treat him like not real things.

[B]

Well, that's. That's the issue. That's the issue that people are just like, it's not real. The original is the real one. That's just a clone. Whatever.

[A]

I mean, if we were running out of wool, I think, like, cloning, there's.

[B]

Other ways to do it.

[A]

To do what?

[B]

Birth them? Yeah. I'm just saying, like, have them have sheep's fuck and then you get new sheeps.

[A]

I mean, you could argue that that's not really like forcing two sheep to know you.

[B]

They don't force them. They don't take one and, like, the other and bash their shit together. They, like, put them in a fucking field and they're just like, it'd be crazy if you guys. The only known sheeps to exist on the planet, had sex.

[A]

Yeah. They put on, like, some barely Barry Manilow, and they're like, but it.

[B]

Barry White might be the music to get. Barry Manilow's not really love making music.

[A]

I don't know why I meant to say Marvin Gaye.

[B]

And, like, Barry Manilow is more like, I'm 50, drinking a Cosmo at old Vegas. You know, Old Vegas at the Copa. Copacabana.

[A]

I just found out, by the way, that I was talking about this place in the neighborhood. You remember? Just Arthur's. It was on Steinway and 21st Avenue. It was on the corner.

[B]

Steinway and 21st Avenue. Just Arthur's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wasn't that, like, a restaurant?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was like a restaurant bar.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I just found out it had the stucco.

[B]

Stucco on the outside. Go ahead. Just go.

[A]

But I just found out it's, like, across from that salon.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on the corner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

So it's the opposite corner of that. But, like, I just found out that my grandma would go to church every Sunday, and then her and her friends would go right there. Dude, they would just drink Manhattan's. First of all, Sunday at 12:15. Having a Manhattan.

[B]

That's where. That's where. Praise God. Praise God. They were.

[A]

They were.

[B]

Yeah, they were praising something at that. Yeah, yeah. That's like a. Well, that was like a well known place for people outside of Astoria.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, I knew other people that were just like, oh, we'd love to go into Astoria because of just Arthur's. And I, like, I had to do, like, a triple take. I was like, that place.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I've never set foot in it. I don't know if it's even still there.

[A]

No, it's not. I mean, it, like, it. It left, like, years ago, and then it was something else, and now I don't even know what the hell's there. I think it's like, a store. Not a store, but, like a place of business or some. I don't know.

[B]

Like, I think what you're referencing is ditmars. That's not 21st Avenue.

[A]

I am thinking dip Mars.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because I was going down more.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Those are delis.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, I was thinking dim Mars, you're right. But, yeah, I just found that out. I was like, what? Because I remember. I was like, what was that place? Like, I remember being in there, like, once or twice when I was younger, but it was like a bar, slash, whatever. I saw Santa Claus there, you know? I mean, they had a Santa Claus. What.

[B]

What was he doing there?

[A]

He was.

[B]

We know he was there to see your grandmother and her friends.

[A]

You watch it.

[B]

I'm okay.

[A]

Do you remember the first Santa Claus you ever saw?

[B]

No, but I do remember that my grandmother and her friends had a place, too. Grandparents there. Where?

[C]

The.

[A]

The place that your grandma used to go.

[B]

No, that was where she worked.

[A]

Oh, she worked there. I think that was like an old Greek hangout.

[B]

It was an old Greek hangout, but, like, she also worked there.

[A]

What'd she do?

[B]

Something.

[A]

What did they do there?

[B]

I don't. Honestly, I don't fucking know. I'm not even. I think she, like, did the books.

[A]

She was an accountant.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Your grandma with dementia was the accountant.

[B]

By the time the D rolled in, she was way out of there. Yeah, she had retired. And then that's when the dementia started to, like, really show.

[A]

That's when that D train came into the station.

[B]

Take it easy. I don't like how you talk about my grandmother. All right, I'll talk less about Santa and your grandma if you start to stop talking about my grandmother in the D tray.

[A]

All right, no problem.

[B]

But no, I would go there and she. You know why? I know it had something to do with, like, keeping records or books or something. She had so many of those rubber fingers.

[A]

I love them.

[B]

I love them so much, I turn them inside out and I'd stop. I'd look at it inside and shove my finger in it.

[A]

I would kind of do the same. Oh, yeah. My. And, like, my grandma had one for, like, just turning pages.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then also, like, sewing.

[B]

That would make no sense for sewing because.

[A]

Well, it says, protect your finger.

[B]

That's a thumbnail.

[C]

Thimble.

[B]

Thimble. That's it. That's what they were. The metal ones, the caps that would go over your fingers.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Thimbles. Thumbnail is not that YouTube. Yeah.

[C]

You do always work on the brain.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's always. I'm thinking about work.

[B]

Can you buy those rubber fingers? Can you look up? Of course. Can you look up? How much, you think? Do they sell them by, like, the hundred? Probably too much.

[A]

The watchmakers have them, too. They're like little ones, though. They, like, only come up to here.

[B]

Well, those that you, like, roll down, they're like finger condoms. I've seen watchmakers with those. These were, like. It was like a full hood.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you. Are the ones you were speaking of ribbed for your pleasure?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Got it. Costco. We can doordash it right now for a pack of 12 for 4 bucks.

[A]

12 or 4? It feels like. That's expensive.

[C]

Would you raise it? This. This one says 12 for 6 bucks, so I feel like we're getting a deal.

[A]

Whoa, dude.

[B]

Costco. I mean, Costco pretty much has the best deal in the nation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It'S a free plug for Costco, I guess.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

But most back to Tom Brady. This is weird, right?

[A]

I would do it.

[C]

Would you like to know how much.

[B]

It costs to clone a dog?

[C]

To clone your pup?

[A]

Let's give a guess. Is this with insurance? Insurance doesn't cover this.

[B]

Yeah, I mean. I mean, I'm sure Tom Brady insurance covers it.

[C]

Maybe, but there are different prices for dogs and horses.

[A]

Oh, forget it. Yeah, the next Triple Crown. Yeah.

[B]

It's gonna be like, this is a clone of American Pharaoh.

[A]

Yes. Secretariat.

[B]

We can't name Seabiscuit. Name another horse Warhorse. That was just a movie about a war horse.

[A]

Oh, which one did you say? American Pharaoh.

[B]

And then I said Secretariat, right? No, I said, oh, Jack's Revenge.

[A]

That's a real horse. I don't know. It sounds pie.

[B]

Oh, my Sopranos. You like that one, Frankel? You're just looking him up now. You absolute cheater. I would say, for a dog, since we're talking doggies here. Buck 20, 100. 20,000.

[A]

I. I'm so below that, it's not even funny.

[B]

What are you below it?

[A]

I will say 12 grand.

[B]

That seems. See, that seems. If it's that high, that low, that seems Crazy. Because then more people are going to start doing it. I haven't heard anyone else do this.

[A]

I don't know if anyone has the answer to this. Do you know how much it costs to do ivf?

[B]

Not cheap.

[A]

I know that it's expensive. I just don't know how much.

[B]

I don't know the exact.

[A]

And maybe it's similar to that.

[B]

I don't know the exact price, and I don't want to sit here and even try to guess because it would be.

[C]

It can range from 15 to 30,000 for IVF.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Oh, you looked up IVF?

[C]

I just did a quick.

[B]

That's expensive.

[A]

Yeah. Crazy. But I imagine it's probably a similar price price range. And if it isn't, what are we doing?

[C]

It's $50,000.

[B]

50.

[C]

And to clone a horse, it's 85.

[A]

Dude, those are huge animals.

[B]

I don't love an animal enough to pay $50,000 to get them.

[A]

You know that the people who own, like, racing horses are.

[B]

Well, because they're multi, multi, multi millionaires. Like Tom brady.

[A]

Yeah, bro. 50G. So clone a dog.

[C]

I'll be honest. Even with pet insurance, like, a dog surgery, like, on a leg could be 12 G's. Like, it could. So, like, once you rack up a couple surgeries, like, I'll just clone my dog and start from a pup.

[B]

Get a. I mean, again, no one's doing that. You have to think from the perspective of Tom Brady. Tom Brady has you money. He has. He. He. I think. What was his fox deal? Like, $300 million? Yeah, it was like 350 or 350. Okay. A 50k is being a drop in the barrel.

[A]

It's probably nothing. When he's on the board, they're like, yo, just do it. And, like, let the paparazzi take photos.

[B]

When are we gonna listen Tom Brady? I. You know, I've been slighted by Tom Brady as a Jet fan.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When are we gonna admit that outside of football?

[C]

Weird dude.

[A]

Why? Weird dude, why?

[B]

Kissing his adult dad on the mouth? Didn't he do that?

[A]

Yeah, he's Super Bowl. Kissed him.

[C]

Kiss of a winner.

[B]

Dude. If my father even tried to kiss me on the mouth right now, which he probably would.

[A]

He will at msg.

[C]

What if he just won the Super Bowl?

[B]

I mean, we're doing msg. That's the super bowl that we're getting to.

[A]

True.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

If my dad tried to, after the show, come up to me and kiss me on the mouth, I would say I'm not Kidding. I never want to see you or speak to you again in my entire life.

[A]

I'm going to literally get in his dad's ear, be like, yo, kiss Frank.

[B]

It won't happen.

[A]

You won't even know it's coming.

[B]

I. Absolutely. Now I know if my dad comes up to me that he's gonna try to kiss me.

[A]

You won't remember.

[B]

I'm. It's my dad.

[A]

He's gonna kiss you.

[B]

No, don't kiss me, Daddy.

[A]

Whoa. That feels like an invitation if I've ever heard one.

[C]

Yeah. You ever kiss your dad on the lips? Yeah. I don't think so. Maybe as a child.

[B]

Yeah. When my kids were real young. They've kissed me on the lips.

[A]

Yeah, but when did you stop?

[B]

Like. Like, Ruby turned, like, three and stopped there.

[A]

She stopped or you.

[B]

She.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Full transparent. Like, she's just like. I'll be like, can I have a kiss? And I'll go like this. And she'll just give me her head and I'll kiss her on the head.

[A]

Oh, she got sick of the.

[B]

Yeah, I think she. I was the problem there. Yeah.

[A]

I'm cutting you off.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To have a wherewithal. You're gonna be kissing your kids until puberty, probably. I know Joe. Joe is gonna love his kids so damn hard. Because it's not like. Like, you're not. It's just like a.

[C]

Like.

[B]

You're gonna kiss your kids and you're gonna, too.

[C]

I will.

[B]

You're gonna name your kids.

[A]

You're not kissing my kids.

[B]

Twisted.

[C]

Oh, true. No.

[B]

You're gonna kiss your kids, and you will, too. I will. You're gonna name your kids like Twisted T. Jameson, you ever think about what.

[A]

You would name a child?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, is it Antonio?

[C]

It's my dad's name.

[A]

What's his name?

[B]

Ferragamo?

[C]

Neil. Neil and yellow, technically. Yeah.

[B]

Neil.

[C]

Yeah, that's what it would be.

[B]

Neil.

[A]

You would name a kid Neil?

[B]

Is that your brother's name?

[C]

It is my brother's name.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He's Neil's.

[C]

He's junior, I think.

[B]

Wait, what was the other one? Wait, wait, wait. So your younger brother.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Your father.

[C]

Yeah, we ran out of, like. That's how it goes. It's like, after the grandfather, then yourself, and then your dad.

[B]

Oh, it was like a traditional.

[C]

Yeah, that's how it goes.

[B]

I'm gonna go the route of they liked your. Your kid brother more than you know.

[C]

I was named after my dad's dad.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And then I would name my kid after my dad, it's like alternating. Like, my grandfather's name is Antonio and.

[A]

What was the other name?

[C]

And yellow. Is the actual name Yellow?

[A]

Like yellow. Wait, hold on. Yellow?

[B]

Is that what you said?

[C]

And yellow, like a N and yellow?

[B]

Yeah, the way you. What am I.

[A]

Wait, hold on. What am I hearing? What are you saying?

[C]

And yellow and yellow. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, and yellow.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What the fuck is that?

[B]

Angelo.

[C]

It's a great question.

[B]

It's Angelo, brother. It's not Angelo, but, like, way that you said, Neil.

[A]

Neil, but yo. And yellow. Yeah, I thought he was saying Neil and yellow. And I'm like, what? Neil and yellow. Such like a.

[B]

Like a classic name.

[A]

And then yellow.

[B]

My God, is in yellow.

[A]

Like an Italian name or something.

[B]

Neil, apparently was so fucking funny. Neil.

[A]

This is not a name here. I had an Uncle Neil.

[C]

My dad's gonna see these tiktoks and getting very upset.

[B]

Is he really? No disrespect to your dad. He's a cool guy. Met him and could probably whoop the shit out of me. And according to you, he's like a trillionaire. There is something funny about. You have a beautiful child and you're like, Neil.

[A]

I mean, listen, my name's Joe. Like, it's not like, I'm not, you.

[C]

Know, I'm not defending or arguing.

[A]

Well, I'm just saying, like, I wasn't expecting that.

[B]

Wait, so you're gonna follow the, like, the like, naming my.

[A]

You gotta do it.

[C]

It's very possible.

[B]

Okay, what about, like, do you think your brothers and. Or and sister, if they have children, they'll do the same thing?

[C]

It's very possible.

[B]

What, so, like, they'll just be, like, five.

[C]

Neil's running around, Antonio's running around. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. What? What's. What's. Where did you get the other name?

[C]

Which.

[A]

On yellow.

[C]

That's like the name that is.

[B]

That's the.

[C]

Call him Neil.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Oh, it's his name, bro.

[B]

You got that? Yeah. A hundred million percent.

[A]

Your dad's name isn't Neil?

[B]

No, it's on yellow.

[C]

I just didn't think. I didn't want to.

[B]

Cause this Americanized version of it is.

[C]

I didn't want to cause the whole yellow thing, which we caused.

[A]

What about a girl?

[B]

Anyela?

[C]

It's Anna.

[B]

Aniella, and it's Nila, Neil. That's crazy, dude.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I would definitely stick with the cool version.

[C]

Oh, which one's the cool version?

[B]

I'd go not Neo. Different names.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

On yellow. That sounds like a fucking, like, Hispanic Name almost, you know, so we're close.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, Italian and Spanish.

[C]

It's close.

[B]

Is, you know, right there.

[A]

They're neighbors on Yellow.

[B]

They share a fence.

[A]

Neil and Yellow. I was like, those are on different planets those days.

[B]

That is my pipes. Tick tock. Like, the way you said Neil.

[A]

Yeah, I, I, I. Yo. I just. I was not expecting Neil whatsoever. I don't know. Yellow. You were.

[B]

That was such a who's on first moment. It really was absolutely. Like, you look so gone.

[A]

And yellow.

[B]

Yeah. You were just on another planet. I also thought there were two separate.

[A]

Names for the longest.

[C]

That's fair.

[A]

But I get you. I'm sure it's going to be a lovely child.

[C]

Well, thank you.

[A]

That's all. I'm tapped out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

If you had another kid, do you have a backup name?

[B]

You know, I have had enough names that I suggested that Becca was just like, let's try something else.

[A]

Can you tell me a name that you thought of that Becca was like, are you out of your fucking mind?

[B]

Out of my. Out of my fucking mind or just like.

[A]

No, like, an immediate no.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I honestly don't think there were any. Like that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There were some that we came up with and, like, talked about and were like, this is gonna be it. And then as the reality of having another child came in, we were just like, all right, we're not gonna do that.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

Like, this is not a joke. These are three names that were actually, like, in contention.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

For both of my daughters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or before we knew the gender. Loki was seriously on the table. I knew there was gonna be one. Thanos was seriously on the table.

[A]

Shut the fuck up.

[C]

No.

[B]

You were gonna name your child Thanos? Yeah.

[C]

What would you call him? Her Thanos.

[B]

Oh, Thanos. It was on. It was considered, it was in contention.

[C]

What is.

[B]

I feel bad for laughing at Neil. Thanos is bananas. And Valkyrie.

[A]

I remember Valkyrie for some reason.

[B]

Well, it was because the summer of 2018, I had played the God of war game, and I then read a book on Norse mythology, and I was. I was captivated by it. I loved it so much. And Valkyrie, I thought, was just such a cool name because you can go with Val. You can go Kyrie, you know, so Valkyrie was.

[A]

You have a daughter named Valkyrie and.

[B]

You call her Kyrie? So Valkyrie was seriously on the table. And then literally, as we, like, found out that Becca was pregnant with both Ruby and Maeve, it was just like, okay, we're not doing Valkyrie.

[A]

How.

[B]

Thanos is.

[A]

So was that.

[B]

Are you serious?

[A]

I swear to God, Frank, Thanos is so funny.

[B]

I swear.

[A]

How, like, what was the thought process? So you think it just sounds cool.

[C]

So Loki, Thanos and Valkyrie. You were just watching Thor one day.

[A]

Watching Endgame?

[B]

I mean. Well, no, I explained where Valkyrie came from. Loki, I think, just sounds cool. I like Loki. Loki sounds cool. And also like the God of mischief. Like it could be like a little. He could be like a little prankster.

[A]

Yeah, I like Loki. I think that's like a popular one.

[B]

And then Thanos, I think, just sounded sick. It's just a giant.

[C]

That's a tough one.

[B]

I mean, you, Neil, you can't compare those things.

[A]

Neil? Yeah, Neil and Thanos.

[C]

That's my son. Vortex.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there are people that do that.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I didn't. I mean, I think it's like those people that do, like, this is my daughter Khaleesi, you know, and it's just like a blonde hair, blue eyed kid that was born in 2016.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[C]

That'S a prettier name than Thanos.

[B]

There's also Greek meaning behind Thanos. I think it's the.

[A]

Like everyone is going to think of a giant.

[B]

No, it's like a God of something. It might be, now that I think about, it might be a God of death. Which is why we might have pivoted away also because it's the God of death too.

[A]

Like, oh, what does your name mean?

[B]

It is the God of death. Right.

[C]

Immortal. And.

[B]

And the person, the personification of death.

[C]

Of death. Yeah. Yeah, that word beat me up.

[A]

Well, that's a rough name.

[B]

Yeah. There was other, like, we looked to mythology for, like, I think at one point we looked at like Venus. Venus was on there. Athena, I think was on there at one point. I think I had suggested Scarlet, but then Becca was just like, we're not. There's only one Scarlet and it's Scarlett Johansson and we're not naming our daughter after Scarlett with Johansson.

[A]

Scarlet Fever.

[B]

That is the fever.

[C]

Were there any name suggestions that had nothing to do with Marvel?

[B]

Well, they're.

[A]

They're named.

[B]

They are Ruby and Maeve, I guess. Nothing to do with Marvel. There are others.

[A]

I think those are great names.

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I think Avera. I love Ruby. What is Ruby?

[A]

Ruby What?

[B]

Ruby Willow. Oh, fucking incredible. I mean. Yeah. And it's just such a. Ruby. Maeve. Ruby. Robin.

[A]

Robin.

[C]

Oh, you.

[A]

You snuck one in there.

[B]

Well, well, no, that wasn't even done. It wasn't even.

[A]

He's like, oh, Maeve. Bruce Wayne.

[B]

Maeve Poison Ivy.

[A]

He's like, oh, it's Maeve James Gunn.

[B]

No, that wasn't even done for that reason. That was done because, like, we. We were going back and forth. Becca is very much so, like, I need to. Like, we can have the names figured out, but, like, once I hold the child.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The feeling of the name is going to be like, this is a Ruby, right? Yeah, male, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she. I think. I think at the time we were going back and forth on a couple from. Well, Ruby, because. Well, Miles is Miles Robert, after both of his grandparents, both of his grandfathers were Robert and then Ruby, Willow was. Becca and I bonded over, like, we love willow cheese. Willow trees, like, weeping willows. And when. When she was pregnant, we went on. We went to, like, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and we drove by and we found it was literally, like, out of a Hallmark card. It was like a bench under a beautiful willow tree. We pulled over, we sat under it, and we were just like, willow's a nice name. We thought about it.

[C]

As for our first name.

[B]

And then Maeve was Maeve Robin. Because at the time we were watching a lot of, like, Robin Williams movies, and it just brought a lot of joy into our life. And then Miles one day had, like, he was, like, learning to read, and he had a book on birds, and it was like, oh, this is a swallow, this is a dove. And it was like, it got to Robin. And we're sitting in bed and we have a picture of him holding up the book because we were like, we couldn't believe it. And he was like, robin, that's a really nice name. And that would go. He said something like, it would go good as a first or middle name. And we were like, well, that's the end of that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So then after that, it was like, it was either Robin as a first name or middle name. And we went with that.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Cute.

[A]

It's cute names. Good names, great names, man. Really glad you didn't go with Thanos.

[B]

Be honest.

[A]

Yeah, no, I probably, like, my reaction would kind of be like, no, it isn't.

[B]

No.

[C]

You know, until Becca introduced them. I wouldn't believe you.

[A]

I wouldn't either. Like, I think he's fucking.

[B]

Not even if I sent you a picture of, like, the birth certificate?

[C]

No, I wouldn't do anything.

[A]

This has been Doctor.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That wouldn't do it.

[A]

By a doctor.

[B]

Thanos. Thanos Iron Man Alvarez.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I mean, where do you even. If you said that your kid's name is Thanos? I would. I. I wouldn't. I don't know.

[B]

Has a list in her phone. I wonder if she still has it. She had it. Definitely of, like, potential names.

[A]

She was in on Thanos, I think.

[B]

I think that was one where she.

[A]

Was just like, I was trying to be nice. I don't know.

[B]

I don't know about it.

[A]

Yeah, well, let's just, like, think of others and then we'll come back.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like. Okay. We all have ideas here, you know? All right. No idea is terrible. But, like, we. We tried to go with, like, V's and R sounds because they work really well with Alvarez, you know, Like. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you want it to be phonetically.

[B]

Yeah, we liked it. So, like, Santa Gato, like, is going to be like T's, G's and S's, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got to think of, like, the. The punchier letters in there. Prisco peas would be good. Like, Priscilla. That'd be a nice name for a girl.

[A]

Priscilla. Priscilla.

[B]

It's too close, really.

[A]

Priscilla.

[C]

P, R, I. P, R, I. That's tough. It's like Julia Gulia.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What's that from?

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Oh, Wedding singer.

[C]

I thought you would get that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wedding singer.

[C]

I pulled that out of my.

[B]

No, no, I know I'm right. I know what you're referencing. I'm just saying, like, excuse me, like, you're shooting down Priscilla. Take it easy on Priscilla.

[C]

Only when it's close to Pris.

[B]

Prisco would be like prisk, so PRs and Cs would work best.

[C]

I'm confused with this.

[B]

Catherine. Catherine Prisco would be nice.

[A]

Catherine. Neil.

[B]

A yellow. A yellow. A blue.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Well, that's all I got. You said that twice now. Yeah, I did. We got more in you. Let's squeeze some more out of you.

[A]

That's kind of crazy.

[C]

It's all you.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, I was gonna. I'll watch you. Yeah.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

All right, well, Frank.

[A]

Where can they find you?

[B]

Leave Frank Alvarez on all forms of social media. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com. the basement yard. And, yeah, we're happy.

[A]

Yep. You can go follow me at Joe Sanigato and go follow the show at the basement yard.

[C]

And you can find me at Aunt Prisco on Instagram. Yeah.

[B]

And that is all.

[A]

We'll see you guys next time.

[B]

Nice. You got it in.

[C]

I'm always like the.

[B]

And Doug. Here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[A]

Uh, limu.

[B]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera.

[B]

They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[A]

Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty Savings Ferry. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.