Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard

Episode #532 – "Decorating For The Holiday Season!"

Released: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frankie Alvarez
Guests/Regulars: Joey Santigato, Ant

Overview

In this festive and playful episode, the Basement Yard crew dives into their favorite holiday traditions, especially Christmas music and tree decorating. The conversation, laced with signature banter and inside jokes, centers on each host bringing in ornaments—ranging from the hilarious to the nostalgic—to adorn their in-studio Christmas trees. Along the way, they debate the canon of holiday songs, reminisce about childhood memories, poke fun at each other, and offer unfiltered, often absurd takes on the holiday season.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Holiday Vibe [00:30–01:56]

• The crew kicks off by goofing around with Christmas sounds and banter about Christmas trees.
• Early jokes about the size of Joey's tree versus everyone else’s segue into more classic Basement Yard innuendo.
• “This art is not imitating real life right now because your tree is probably more likely bigger than both of ours combined.” — Joe [01:22]

2. The (Heated) Christmas Music Debate [01:56–17:18]

• Favorite Christmas Songs: Each host shares their favorites, sparking heated debates and side tangents.
  • Joe is loyal to "Mele Kalikimaka" (his mom's favorite, a Bing Crosby classic) [02:02].
  • Michael Bublé's impact on modern Christmas music is discussed intensely, with most agreeing his versions of classics are definitive—“His voice is like butter. Dude, I’m telling you right now, if you could take, like, a piece of silk and make it into a human being. Oh my God, that’s the Boobs.” — Joe [02:26].
  • The crew debates the merit of new Christmas songs, giving props to Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson for actual originals.
  • NSYNC’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” makes the top 10 for some, but not for others—“Even in your top 10 is bananas to me.” — Joe [08:56].
  • Frankie says he likes the song from Ariana Grande ("Santa Tell Me") [13:21].
• Controversial picks: Joey admits his favorite is "Baby, It's Cold Outside", which they all agree is “a little sexually aggressive” [09:25].
• Meta-debate: They joke about the evolving standards for holiday songs, the overlap of nostalgia and musical merit, and why most classics are covers.
• Notable quote:
  • "I'm fully in on the Andy Williams." — Joe [08:16]
  • "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is, quite frankly, just an all-timer." — Joe [08:22]
  • “That [Kelly Clarkson song]...there’s no lead-in, it’s just like—boom, we’re off to the races.” — Ant [06:59]

3. Ornaments: The Good, the Bad, the Bizarre [17:33–44:58]

• Each host reveals their unique ornaments and shares stories (or rationale) behind their choices.
• Ant’s Pick: Danny DeVito Cheeto (a 3D-printed orange puff with DeVito's face) [22:27].
• Joe’s First Pick: A Christmas tree made of pickles, a nod to his family’s pickle obsession [25:10].
• Joey’s Ornaments:
  • Mermaid reindeer ornament that looks oddly like him [27:33].
  • Resin Twisted Tea bottle cap: “I bought this…you could have made that.” [48:14]
• Frankie’s Picks:
  • “Thicklist Cage”—a Nicholas Cage head on a thick woman’s body [33:41].
  • Multiple Nick Cage ornaments spur jokes about Frankie’s unexplained Cage obsession [65:30].
  • Cute raccoon tangled in Christmas lights: “Objectively adorable.” [50:47]
  • Oscar Mayer Wienermobile [42:38]
• Wild-card Ornaments:
  • Joe brings Jeff Hardy action figure as a tree-topper: “A tree should be representative of its owner.” [44:58]
  • Joe: Childhood Barney ice skating ornament—"My first love on this planet was Barney the dinosaur." [53:06]
  • Joey: Picky Boys logo (his podcast) as a tree ornament [70:26], plugging shamelessly.
• Debate on ornament legitimacy: Is anything you love a valid ornament? Are non-traditional picks just rebellion against “Big Christmas?” [44:11, 67:44]
• Memorable moment: “Why do we confine to the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and isn’t an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something you want to proudly and prominently feature on your tree.” — Joe [44:11]

4. Tree Critiques, Costs & Home Decor [71:14–74:00]

• Joe calculates costs and sizes of trees—some real, some fake, with Frankie’s fake Balsam Hill tree costing ~$800 [71:44].
• Joey’s small tree with oversized ornaments draws comments: “Your tree tells a story—someone saw a mermaid, drank a bunch of twisted teas, and had sex.” — Joe [50:23]
• Plug for Picky Boys podcast via ornament placement [70:30].

5. Childhood Holiday Memories & Disney Channel Nostalgia [72:40–75:52]

• The crew reminisces about Disney Channel original movies and their influence on their childhood holidays—Smart House, Luck of the Irish, and others.
• Discussion transitions into thoughts about Disney Christmas albums, shared nostalgia for old-school Christmases.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “His voice is like butter. Dude, I’m telling you now, if you could take, like, a piece of silk and make it into a human being, oh my god, that’s the boobs.” — Joe (on Michael Bublé) [02:26]
• “The only cereal I’m killing is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” — Joe [51:01]
• “You’re cruising for a bruising at the end of our alleyway.” — Joe (mock-threatening to Joey after anti-DeVito shade) [23:29]
• “A tree should be representative of its owner. And if I am nothing, I am a wrestling fan.” — Joe [44:56]
• “I just think it’s funny. It reminds me of the Nickelodeon Face. As I’m staring at it, this is actually freaking me out.” — Frankie (on his multiple Nick Cage ornaments) [65:39]
• “Why do we confine to the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and isn’t an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something you want to proudly and prominently feature on your tree.” — Joe [44:11]
• “Someone saw a mermaid and was so horned up they drank a bunch of Twisted Teas and had sex.” — Joe [50:23, on Joey's tree]

Timeline of Important Segments

• 00:30–03:06 — Christmas vibes, tree banter, favorite songs introduction
• 03:06–17:18 — Deep dive: Christmas music, Bublé, pop standards, best and worst originals
• 17:33–44:58 — Tree decorating segment: Unveiling and defending their chosen ornaments
• 44:58–59:03 — Ornaments get more unhinged (Jeff Hardy, wrestling, Nick Cage, etc.)
• 59:03–71:14 — Discussion on Rainforest Cafe, childhood relics, cost and setup of real vs. fake trees, more plug-ins
• 71:14–77:08 — Comparing tree quality, real vs. fake arguments, holiday memories, recapping best trees
• 77:08–79:28 — Farewell segment; further jokes about big dicks, a Nick Cage routing, final ornament reveals, sendoff

Tone & Language

The language is boisterous, irreverent, and laced with roasts and self-deprecating humor. The hosts aren’t afraid of innuendo, going on tangents, or gently mocking one another’s preferences and personal quirks. The vibe switches from genuine nostalgia (family, childhood, early pop culture memories) to playful absurdity (debate over tree size, “Big Christmas,” and improper ornament choices).

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is the Basement Yard at its most festive and chaotic—expect unfiltered humor, pop culture debates, and a full serving of the group’s warm yet teasing dynamic. If you enjoy a blend of nostalgia, holiday spirit, and completely unserious conversations about the serious business of Christmas tree decorating, this episode delivers.

Quick Reference: Best Segments

• Bublé’s Christmas dominance & new classic music [02:05–06:14]
• Modern vs. classic Christmas song debate [06:14–09:45]
• Frankie’s uncomfortable number of Nicholas Cage ornaments [33:41; 65:40]
• Ant’s Danny DeVito Cheeto ornament reveal [22:27]
• Joe’s defense of the pickle tree, wrestling & Barney nostalgia [25:10; 44:56; 53:06]
• Ridiculous ornament escalation—Twisted Tea, Wiener mobiles, “go ahead and jingle my bells” [40:08–42:38]
• Tree cost and “Big Christmas” conspiracy jokes [71:14–71:44]
• Childhood Disney Channel memories [73:08–75:52]

Final Notes

This episode isn’t just about decorations—it’s a window into the Basement Yard’s group dynamic and chaotic energy, celebrating holidays with a mix of nostalgia, jokes, inside references, and a fair bit of questionable taste. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays—however you want to decorate your tree.