#532 - Decorating For The Holiday Season!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard

Episode #532 – "Decorating For The Holiday Season!"

Released: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frankie Alvarez
Guests/Regulars: Joey Santigato, Ant

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Overview

In this festive and playful episode, the Basement Yard crew dives into their favorite holiday traditions, especially Christmas music and tree decorating. The conversation, laced with signature banter and inside jokes, centers on each host bringing in ornaments—ranging from the hilarious to the nostalgic—to adorn their in-studio Christmas trees. Along the way, they debate the canon of holiday songs, reminisce about childhood memories, poke fun at each other, and offer unfiltered, often absurd takes on the holiday season.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Holiday Vibe [00:30–01:56]

• The crew kicks off by goofing around with Christmas sounds and banter about Christmas trees.
• Early jokes about the size of Joey's tree versus everyone else’s segue into more classic Basement Yard innuendo.
• “This art is not imitating real life right now because your tree is probably more likely bigger than both of ours combined.” — Joe [01:22]

2. The (Heated) Christmas Music Debate [01:56–17:18]

• Favorite Christmas Songs: Each host shares their favorites, sparking heated debates and side tangents.
  • Joe is loyal to "Mele Kalikimaka" (his mom's favorite, a Bing Crosby classic) [02:02].
  • Michael Bublé's impact on modern Christmas music is discussed intensely, with most agreeing his versions of classics are definitive—“His voice is like butter. Dude, I’m telling you right now, if you could take, like, a piece of silk and make it into a human being. Oh my God, that’s the Boobs.” — Joe [02:26].
  • The crew debates the merit of new Christmas songs, giving props to Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson for actual originals.
  • NSYNC’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” makes the top 10 for some, but not for others—“Even in your top 10 is bananas to me.” — Joe [08:56].
  • Frankie says he likes the song from Ariana Grande ("Santa Tell Me") [13:21].
• Controversial picks: Joey admits his favorite is "Baby, It's Cold Outside", which they all agree is “a little sexually aggressive” [09:25].
• Meta-debate: They joke about the evolving standards for holiday songs, the overlap of nostalgia and musical merit, and why most classics are covers.
• Notable quote:
  • "I'm fully in on the Andy Williams." — Joe [08:16]
  • "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is, quite frankly, just an all-timer." — Joe [08:22]
  • “That [Kelly Clarkson song]...there’s no lead-in, it’s just like—boom, we’re off to the races.” — Ant [06:59]

3. Ornaments: The Good, the Bad, the Bizarre [17:33–44:58]

• Each host reveals their unique ornaments and shares stories (or rationale) behind their choices.
• Ant’s Pick: Danny DeVito Cheeto (a 3D-printed orange puff with DeVito's face) [22:27].
• Joe’s First Pick: A Christmas tree made of pickles, a nod to his family’s pickle obsession [25:10].
• Joey’s Ornaments:
  • Mermaid reindeer ornament that looks oddly like him [27:33].
  • Resin Twisted Tea bottle cap: “I bought this…you could have made that.” [48:14]
• Frankie’s Picks:
  • “Thicklist Cage”—a Nicholas Cage head on a thick woman’s body [33:41].
  • Multiple Nick Cage ornaments spur jokes about Frankie’s unexplained Cage obsession [65:30].
  • Cute raccoon tangled in Christmas lights: “Objectively adorable.” [50:47]
  • Oscar Mayer Wienermobile [42:38]
• Wild-card Ornaments:
  • Joe brings Jeff Hardy action figure as a tree-topper: “A tree should be representative of its owner.” [44:58]
  • Joe: Childhood Barney ice skating ornament—"My first love on this planet was Barney the dinosaur." [53:06]
  • Joey: Picky Boys logo (his podcast) as a tree ornament [70:26], plugging shamelessly.
• Debate on ornament legitimacy: Is anything you love a valid ornament? Are non-traditional picks just rebellion against “Big Christmas?” [44:11, 67:44]
• Memorable moment: “Why do we confine to the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and isn’t an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something you want to proudly and prominently feature on your tree.” — Joe [44:11]

4. Tree Critiques, Costs & Home Decor [71:14–74:00]

• Joe calculates costs and sizes of trees—some real, some fake, with Frankie’s fake Balsam Hill tree costing ~$800 [71:44].
• Joey’s small tree with oversized ornaments draws comments: “Your tree tells a story—someone saw a mermaid, drank a bunch of twisted teas, and had sex.” — Joe [50:23]
• Plug for Picky Boys podcast via ornament placement [70:30].

5. Childhood Holiday Memories & Disney Channel Nostalgia [72:40–75:52]

• The crew reminisces about Disney Channel original movies and their influence on their childhood holidays—Smart House, Luck of the Irish, and others.
• Discussion transitions into thoughts about Disney Christmas albums, shared nostalgia for old-school Christmases.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “His voice is like butter. Dude, I’m telling you now, if you could take, like, a piece of silk and make it into a human being, oh my god, that’s the boobs.” — Joe (on Michael Bublé) [02:26]
• “The only cereal I’m killing is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” — Joe [51:01]
• “You’re cruising for a bruising at the end of our alleyway.” — Joe (mock-threatening to Joey after anti-DeVito shade) [23:29]
• “A tree should be representative of its owner. And if I am nothing, I am a wrestling fan.” — Joe [44:56]
• “I just think it’s funny. It reminds me of the Nickelodeon Face. As I’m staring at it, this is actually freaking me out.” — Frankie (on his multiple Nick Cage ornaments) [65:39]
• “Why do we confine to the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and isn’t an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something you want to proudly and prominently feature on your tree.” — Joe [44:11]
• “Someone saw a mermaid and was so horned up they drank a bunch of Twisted Teas and had sex.” — Joe [50:23, on Joey's tree]

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Timeline of Important Segments

• 00:30–03:06 — Christmas vibes, tree banter, favorite songs introduction
• 03:06–17:18 — Deep dive: Christmas music, Bublé, pop standards, best and worst originals
• 17:33–44:58 — Tree decorating segment: Unveiling and defending their chosen ornaments
• 44:58–59:03 — Ornaments get more unhinged (Jeff Hardy, wrestling, Nick Cage, etc.)
• 59:03–71:14 — Discussion on Rainforest Cafe, childhood relics, cost and setup of real vs. fake trees, more plug-ins
• 71:14–77:08 — Comparing tree quality, real vs. fake arguments, holiday memories, recapping best trees
• 77:08–79:28 — Farewell segment; further jokes about big dicks, a Nick Cage routing, final ornament reveals, sendoff

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Tone & Language

The language is boisterous, irreverent, and laced with roasts and self-deprecating humor. The hosts aren’t afraid of innuendo, going on tangents, or gently mocking one another’s preferences and personal quirks. The vibe switches from genuine nostalgia (family, childhood, early pop culture memories) to playful absurdity (debate over tree size, “Big Christmas,” and improper ornament choices).

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is the Basement Yard at its most festive and chaotic—expect unfiltered humor, pop culture debates, and a full serving of the group’s warm yet teasing dynamic. If you enjoy a blend of nostalgia, holiday spirit, and completely unserious conversations about the serious business of Christmas tree decorating, this episode delivers.

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Quick Reference: Best Segments

• Bublé’s Christmas dominance & new classic music [02:05–06:14]
• Modern vs. classic Christmas song debate [06:14–09:45]
• Frankie’s uncomfortable number of Nicholas Cage ornaments [33:41; 65:40]
• Ant’s Danny DeVito Cheeto ornament reveal [22:27]
• Joe’s defense of the pickle tree, wrestling & Barney nostalgia [25:10; 44:56; 53:06]
• Ridiculous ornament escalation—Twisted Tea, Wiener mobiles, “go ahead and jingle my bells” [40:08–42:38]
• Tree cost and “Big Christmas” conspiracy jokes [71:14–71:44]
• Childhood Disney Channel memories [73:08–75:52]

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Final Notes

This episode isn’t just about decorations—it’s a window into the Basement Yard’s group dynamic and chaotic energy, celebrating holidays with a mix of nostalgia, jokes, inside references, and a fair bit of questionable taste. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays—however you want to decorate your tree.

Transcript

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[Joe Gatto]

Welcome back to the.

[Frankie]

Welcome back to the basement yard. Are you scatting?

[Joe Gatto]

No, I'm doing like the beginning of like Christmas songs when they have like the bells, but they're like not bells. You know what I'm talking about? It look, it sounds like, it's just like.

You know, that is that.

[Frankie]

That's a great add on to that song, dude. The ding ding ding. A ling dong ding in the background. Amazing.

[Joe Gatto]

Happy holidays.

[Frankie]

Happy holidays.

[Joe Gatto]

Got trees. We got trees.

[Frankie]

Got a tree.

[Ant]

They're naked and they won't be. They won't be naked.

[Joe Gatto]

Baby Ant decided to put them up for the fucking. For the episodes.

[Joey Santigato]

I also have a tree.

[Joe Gatto]

You also have a tree.

[Joey Santigato]

Mine's right here.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, right, exactly. This art is not imitating real life right now because your tree is probably more likely bigger than both of ours combined.

[Frankie]

Wait, what are you talking about?

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, that's what you're talking about.

[Ant]

Yeah, you got a big dick. What a loser with his big dick and balls.

Oh, let me guess.

[Joe Gatto]

Life is so great having a massive dong.

[Ant]

Oh, man, how am I even gonna drag this around the whole holiday?

[Joey Santigato]

I am doing a perspective thing for sure because this tree looks way bigger on there than what it is.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, well, I mean, that's part of it. That's part of the game, my friend. You got to play the game in.

[Ant]

Order to win the match.

[Frankie]

What's your favorite Christmas song?

[Joe Gatto]

You're going to hate my answer. I've told you this a million times.

[Frankie]

Jingle bells.

[Joe Gatto]

No, no, no. It's Mela Kiliki Maka.

[Frankie]

Oh, you're one of those guys.

[Joe Gatto]

Well, it was my mom's and like she always. Yeah, my mom is a big Bing Crosby guy.

[Frankie]

Your mom seems like a.

Michael Buble guy.

[Joe Gatto]

Michael Buble was, is only around the last 20 years. She had a whole lifetime prior to that.

[Frankie]

Yeah, but once you hear Mikey Bubs.

[Joe Gatto]

Mikey. Don't get me wrong, his voice is like butter. Dude, I'm telling you right now, if you can take, like, a. A piece of silk and make it into a human being. Oh, my God, that's the bubbles.

[Frankie]

This. His voice is like. I feel like it could cure me.

[Joe Gatto]

I remember the first time I saw him, it was at like, a 2003 or 2004. Like, they did remember. They would do, like, the Christmas tree lighting, and it was a big thing people watched on tv. I'm sure they still do it, but it's not as cool anymore.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Because Whitney Houston isn't there.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

That's the first time I heard. They were like. And, you know, here's my Michael Buble, Mikey Boobs. And I remember the times be like, this guy's got something.

[Ant]

Yeah, here we go. Simon Cowell over here. Michael Buble, one of the most, like, easiest voices.

[Frankie]

Like, he. It sounds like he's not even trying. He's like, have yourself. My God.

[Joey Santigato]

Damn.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, you had it there. You started.

[Joey Santigato]

You should have kept going.

[Frankie]

I could do one note, but that's it. That's it.

[Ant]

I know.

[Joe Gatto]

I know where to stop.

[Frankie]

Yo, he's. The guy's good. Mikey Boobs, Dude.

[Ant]

And I'll tell you this, though, but.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm gonna be honest about Mr. Boobs. Talk about the boobs. It's his Christmas stuff that is the hits. His otherwise stuff. It's okay.

[Frankie]

Oh, isn't it?

[Joe Gatto]

That's kind of Sway.

[Joey Santigato]

Sway with me.

[Joe Gatto]

But that's. That's. That's a cover. What's that?

[Joey Santigato]

Doesn't he only do covers?

[Joe Gatto]

No.

[Ant]

First of all, no one's disrespecting the boob in front of me.

[Joe Gatto]

Don't.

[Ant]

Don't let him talk about boob covers. Don't talk about. Yeah, you're not talking about boob covers. Yeah, Mikey Boobs.

[Joey Santigato]

But the.

[Frankie]

The Christmas album, absolutely ridiculous, dude.

[Joe Gatto]

And he is one of those people that has done the unthinkable, and he has put new Christmas music in the stratosphere of, like, iconic Christmas music because most of the Christmas music that we like is 70 years old.

[Joey Santigato]

I apologize to the Boobs. What is a song that he created involving Christmas?

[Joe Gatto]

Don't fucking disrespect the boobs.

[Ant]

Involving Christmas.

[Joe Gatto]

I see what he's doing.

[Ant]

He's rage baiting.

[Joey Santigato]

No, you said he added new.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm saying his version of Christmas song.

[Joey Santigato]

So they.

[Joe Gatto]

The covers are so. Shut up.

[Joey Santigato]

So you're saying the covers.

[Frankie]

Yo.

[Joe Gatto]

You're disrespecting the boobs.

[Ant]

I come over there and I'll shove that tree in your ass. You talk about the boobs.

[Joe Gatto]

Like that? Yeah, I like the.

[Joey Santigato]

Boobs was just asking a question.

[Frankie]

Yo, Mikey Boobs. You know what's funny about that Christmas album? You know the song, like Santa baby.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, yeah.

[Frankie]

When he does it, he goes, santa buddy, because he's not gay.

[Ant]

He's not gay.

Buddy.

[Joe Gatto]

Boobs understands. He's not like, yeah, Santa baby.

[Ant]

Because he's not trying, like, yo, I'm not calling this. I'll sing Christmas songs, but I'm not calling them baby.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Ant]

What do you think this is? You think there were gay people in the 70s? I'm like, you, Boobs. I'm not gay.

[Joe Gatto]

Mikey Boobs.

[Ant]

Santa buddy.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm pretty sure he's married and has a family.

[Frankie]

He seems like a very nice guy. Let's get that out of the way.

[Joe Gatto]

Let's make that very clear.

[Frankie]

I love Mikey Boobs.

[Joey Santigato]

Right? To be clear. Also a cover, right?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Yo, you're gonna. You're going down a bad way, right, with me.

[Joe Gatto]

You're going down the wrong alleyway. And guess what? We're the thugs at the end, ready to stick up for Boobs.

[Joey Santigato]

I think he would meet me in.

[Joe Gatto]

The middle, but, no, we'll let you get there. So you got to.

[Ant]

First of all, it's our alleyway to operate our alleys. Yeah.

[Frankie]

We wait.

[Ant]

You think that you're safe when you're.

[Joe Gatto]

Halfway through Boob talk out of our alleys. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Santigato]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Joe Gatto]

I just. He has done, like, his versions of Christmas songs.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Hold up.

[Ant]

I'm looking up this album now. They have gone into, like.

[Joe Gatto]

It's very hard to crack into, like, iconic Christmas music. And he's one of, I would say, four modern artists that has done it. Obviously. Mariah Carey's the other one. Well, she. I mean, that might be the greatest of all time.

[Frankie]

Fucking. What's his name? Biebs.

[Joey Santigato]

Mm.

[Joe Gatto]

Overrated.

[Frankie]

What's overrated?

[Joe Gatto]

His Christmas music.

[Joey Santigato]

It's.

[Frankie]

It. I can't. What am I gonna say to that? I mean, it's just, like. It's an insane thing to say.

[Joe Gatto]

I will say this was original. You know who has a shady.

[Ant]

It wasn't, was it?

[Frankie]

Yeah, some of it was.

[Ant]

You know who has a Christmas love banger?

[Joe Gatto]

Who cares? You know who has an incredible original, I think Christmas song that is also a big. We're big fans of here at the basement yard. Kate Clark. Kelly Clarkson.

[Frankie]

Bro.

[Ant]

That song.

[Frankie]

Hit the desk harder so we can all hear Jesus.

Yo, that song.

[Joe Gatto]

It does.

[Frankie]

There's no lead in it's just like.

[Ant]

Boom, we're off to the races.

[Joe Gatto]

And she just like banger. I love slow, like Nat King Cole, you know, like, I love that there's.

[Frankie]

A candle and it's snowing.

[Joe Gatto]

But when you get punched in the mouth by Kelly Clarkson's vocals.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Nothing is preparing.

[Frankie]

Usually Christmas music is like more slow and it's like a cozy song and you're laying on the couch, whatever. But that song's like someone threw a present in your face.

[Ant]

Just like, bang. Christmas.

[Joe Gatto]

Wait, you never answered. What's your favorite Christmas song?

[Frankie]

Oh, I, I, yeah, I didn't. Also, I'm looking up the, the track list.

[Joe Gatto]

Is it all out to the boob? It's all covers. It's.

Pretty much. But that doesn't matter.

[Ant]

The thing that he's done, which I.

[Frankie]

Think is even more impressive, is he's made him. He's taken these songs and been like, these are mine now.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Ant]

And these are better than the original version.

[Joe Gatto]

Andy Williams. Who?

[Ant]

Perry Como?

[Joe Gatto]

Don't think so.

[Frankie]

Well, hold on. Annie Williams? That one.

[Ant]

I, no, it's a banger.

[Joe Gatto]

Don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong.

[Frankie]

When you hear those bells.

[Ant]

It'S the most.

[Frankie]

I'm like, forget it.

[Joe Gatto]

It just, it, I hear that song and it puts me in like holiday rush mode. You know what I'm saying?

[Ant]

I'm shopping during that.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm shopping, you know, and I'm running around with the bags like this, like.

[Ant]

Where are the toys?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, exactly. I, I, I'm fully in on the Andy Williams.

[Frankie]

It's the, the most wonderful time.

[Joe Gatto]

Also, we got to give credit to our girl Brenda Lee. Rocking around the Christmas tree is quite frankly, just an all timer.

[Frankie]

I feel like it's a little over. I think, I think, I don't know.

[Joe Gatto]

Wait, what, what's your favorite Christmas song? I can see yours being. I think I know it. Yeah, I think it's, it's the Mariah Carey.

[Frankie]

No, it's not.

[Ant]

Well, I mean, it's hard to.

[Frankie]

Not like that is a great one, but like, I really like the NSYNC song.

[Ant]

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday.

[Joe Gatto]

That's a good one. That's even in your top 10 is bananas to Me. It's a good song. What? It's a good song.

[Frankie]

It's a hit.

[Ant]

I wouldn't.

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

I don't even think it deserves to be in the sniffing competition.

[Joey Santigato]

You could sniff.

[Frankie]

Frank, that.

[Ant]

That's not an expression at all.

[Frankie]

It doesn't deserve to be in the sniffing competition. What's your favorite Christmas song.

[Joey Santigato]

Mine doesn't have a good rep right now.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, is it maybe something outside?

[Ant]

Yeah, that is a great song, but.

[Joe Gatto]

It is a little sexually aggressive. A little. Yeah, a lot of.

[Frankie]

Bro, let the girl go home.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Jesus.

[Ant]

But I will say the version in Elf.

[Frankie]

My favorite.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, you're going. Zoe Deschanel, she kills that bro.

[Frankie]

I love hearing that. And even, like, Will Ferrell be like, no, but.

[Joe Gatto]

But they do. So he does it in the movie. But, like, there's someone that does it, like an official cover with her. That voice is caramel in a chocolate. I don't know exactly who it is.

[Frankie]

But, baby, it's cool.

[Joe Gatto]

I can't even do it proper justice. Yeah, that is a good one. It is. It is sexually aggressive. So you're getting cancer.

[Joey Santigato]

I do think they redid it. I think they redid.

[Joe Gatto]

If they redid the song, it should be, baby, it's cold outside. I really can't say, okay, let me call you a cabin. Or, okay, let me escort you home. He's just like, no, come here. What's in this drink?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Whoa.

[Frankie]

What's that? Is that about?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, it's not great. It's really not great.

[Joe Gatto]

Say what?

[Ant]

This drink is like, it's cold.

[Joe Gatto]

Come on.

[Frankie]

She's like, why is my drink fizzing? He's like, it's cold. It's freezing.

[Joe Gatto]

What's that tab at the bottom of my drink? And he's just like, it's so ice cold.

[Frankie]

I love that. He wasn't even backing down from, like, it's cold.

[Ant]

Like, it's just cold out. Like, that's the only thing that's all he could think of was like, I, I.

[Joe Gatto]

It's.

[Ant]

Do you not understand? It's freezing. And then he tries to, like, find.

[Joe Gatto]

Other ways to, like, work that in, where he's just like, it's up to your knees out there. Like, you're not even gonna be able.

[Frankie]

To make it home, dude. First of all, if the snow is up to my knees out there, I'm going out there.

[Ant]

You think I'm making a snow angel?

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, When's the last time you played in the snow?

[Frankie]

Every year.

[Joe Gatto]

Really? Like, you go out and play in the snow?

[Frankie]

What is playing in the snow?

[Joe Gatto]

Like, roll around, jump around, throw snowballs.

[Frankie]

Oh, I'm rolling. Really?

[Joe Gatto]

I'm rolling every year for you. I'm glad that's more like me than, like, you.

[Frankie]

How can that be?

[Joe Gatto]

Because you are more like, when it snows outside, I need to open my Emails and talk about bottom line and gross margins.

[Ant]

The thing is, you don't know me.

[Frankie]

At all as clearly.

[Joe Gatto]

No, I know you quite well. Oh, and I'm.

[Ant]

Oh, I'm Frank. I'm the quirky guy. So I go and I make a. Shut the fuck up.

[Joe Gatto]

Damn right I'm the quirky guy.

[Frankie]

Fucking. I'm looking up songs right now. You know what sucks, dude? That song. I don't even know if it's a Christmas song. It's. Oh, it is a Christmas song. War is over.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, that's John Lennon. Yeah. Why? Oh, well, because he starts up.

[Ant]

Well, so is Christmas.

[Frankie]

That's fire.

[Ant]

That part's cool.

[Frankie]

Hate the rest of the song, though.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, I will say, the only Bruce Springsteen song that I like is his version.

[Ant]

Oh.

That'S a good one.

[Joey Santigato]

Drum.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Ant]

No Bruce Springsteen, dude.

[Frankie]

That's my favorite.

[Ant]

He's like, hey, babe. Yeah, Clarence, you got Santa Claus gonna bring you a new saxophone. All right, man. Yeah, you've been a good man. Yeah. And he's just like, you better watch out. Oh, you better watch out.

[Frankie]

It is.

[Ant]

Better not cry.

[Joe Gatto]

It's. God, it's the only good Bruce Springsteen song. I will go out and say that on the record. And I'm gonna get killed in Jersey.

[Frankie]

Yeah. That's crazy that you think that.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, what's. What's better than that?

[Ant]

What is good?

[Frankie]

Glory Days.

[Joe Gatto]

He's just screaming.

[Frankie]

That's a great song.

[Joe Gatto]

Vague. Who cares?

[Frankie]

What's the other Bruce song? That. Born A Run.

[Ant]

Born A Run, dude.

[Joe Gatto]

In the usa.

[Ant]

First of all, those are all. Yo, Born A Run is so good.

[Joe Gatto]

Mid.

[Frankie]

Mid. Mid.

[Joe Gatto]

Mid.

[Frankie]

No, it's not. Born Run is unbelievable.

[Joe Gatto]

It's just him.

Listen, it's pretty good.

[Ant]

I gotta be careful because you're.

[Joe Gatto]

Honestly, you're on a. You're on a vocal hit this morning.

[Ant]

I don't know what's happening.

[Joe Gatto]

I am going to get some shit for my Springsteen slander. He lives, like, I think, like, 25 minutes from where I am. He will come over here.

[Frankie]

You know what that means? No property taxes.

[Ant]

No, his property taxes are way. His were in the hunt. Frank, you don't know this song.

[Joe Gatto]

You scared the out of me right here.

[Frankie]

Sorry.

[Ant]

I got mad excited because I saw.

[Joe Gatto]

The words right there.

[Frankie]

You don't know this song probably because it's.

[Joe Gatto]

It's a. It's a.

[Frankie]

It's a Christmas Song by Ariana Grande.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, I know it's.

[Ant]

That is it. But.

That'S.

[Frankie]

That's probably like my favorite Christmas song right now.

[Ant]

I blast.

[Joe Gatto]

That song that I was talking about Miles with that song this morning. He was just like, wait, she sings too? And I was like, she's the total package.

[Frankie]

Holy. He's like, that's crazy that people don't know.

[Joe Gatto]

Ariel Grande is saying, well, he's. He's always. But I only 10.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

You know, he really only knows her from Wicked. And I was like, yeah, she acted, then she sang, and now she's back to acting. And I'm sure she'll do singing again.

But.

[Ant]

I can't.

[Frankie]

I mean, clear. I can't hit the whistle.

[Joe Gatto]

No.

I'm not Ariana, She's a pop anomaly. Let's make it very clear.

[Frankie]

She's not very grande. I will say that she's very.

[Joe Gatto]

She's very pequena. Yeah, you know she is. But what were you gonna say?

[Joey Santigato]

I don't know. Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

Was I gonna say something? I don't know. So I would say that, like modern Christmas songs. These are my top five modern Christmas songs that have broken into being all time hits.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

Mariah Carey, All I want for Christmas is you. Duh duh duh duh duh duh.

[Frankie]

Is that modern? Was that 92?

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, hot take. Hot take what? Hot take what, though?

[Ant]

That it's old or that it's like, what?

[Joe Gatto]

God, here we go. Hot take what?

[Joey Santigato]

That song's kind of overrated now. That song kind of sucks.

[Joe Gatto]

Joey, call the gunsmith. Ask him to fashion two guns. We can brandish that, shoot a hundred.

[Ant]

I'm gonna call the North Pole and.

[Frankie]

Put you on the naughty list, you fucking piece of shit.

[Ant]

First the Mikey Boobs and now this. What do you like?

[Joey Santigato]

Not much.

[Frankie]

Kill him.

[Joe Gatto]

Get out of there. I'm calling the bomb company.

[Frankie]

We're calling 1-800-bomb.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. Hey, bombs.

[Ant]

Bombs.com. bombs away. Bombs. Bombs R Us.

[Joe Gatto]

Make one for Ant. I just. I think all I want for Christmas is you sure? Anything by Michael Buble, the Boobs. We could put the insync song in there. It's not my favorite, but I could see its appeal. It's.

[Joey Santigato]

It's.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

The Ariana Grande.

[Ant]

Santa darling.

[Frankie]

Whatever it is, Santa tell me.

[Joe Gatto]

Sure. And Kelly Clarkson.

[Frankie]

It's just a.

[Joe Gatto]

It's stupid.

[Joey Santigato]

It's a good day today.

[Ant]

I got gooseies. I got gooseies.

[Frankie]

Give me one Christmas song you like.

[Joey Santigato]

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it's beginning. Dude.

[Joe Gatto]

You know who has a banger of a Christmas album too? Who? Is that? Is that.

[Frankie]

Is that Andy.

[Joe Gatto]

That might be Perry Como. I mean, I'm sure all them did a version of it. But Elvis got some bangers, bro.

[Ant]

Am I the only one that sees Elvis? And I go, who? Like that dude?

[Joe Gatto]

Horny teens in the 50s.

[Ant]

I know, but I'm like. I'm, like, listening to him, and I'm like, what is this?

[Joe Gatto]

Nah, he's. He's got some. He's got some songs that I could see the appeal to.

[Ant]

That's what I'm hearing.

[Joey Santigato]

It's.

[Joe Gatto]

It's just clearly, he stole the sound from Chuck Berry, did it himself and everyone. The music industry was just like a white man doing it. And they're like, now we love it.

[Joey Santigato]

It's Bing Crosby, okay.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah, Bing.

[Ant]

We talked about Big Bang Boom Crosby, baby. There's some stuff there with all these guys. Any single one, any sort of white.

[Frankie]

Person who's singing a really good song, and it's filmed in black and white. I'm like, all right.

[Ant]

I mean, we need to look into.

[Frankie]

Just look.

[Joe Gatto]

Anyone? I would say 90% of them pre 1999.

[Frankie]

You know what's a red flag for me? When it's black and white and the white people are holding a skinny microphone.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm like the Lawrence Welk Show. But they're just like, just.

[Ant]

Just look into that.

[Joe Gatto]

Bob.

[Ant]

Has to be.

[Joe Gatto]

There might have been some stuff with Bob Barker, too.

[Ant]

He kept that skinny microphone to the end. Well, that one's extra skinny. That one was super.

[Joe Gatto]

No, they all had some skinny dick.

[Ant]

Well, the ones that are like.

[Frankie]

And it's like a little pop.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, dude. It's like a.

[Frankie]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Gatto]

Like a Q tip. All right, so the crux of this episode, which we were getting to because we could talk Christmas music all day, is we decided that as we were doing these Christmas trees, holiday trees. If you feel attacked by us. I know how much Ant hates that.

We decided we were going to bring in some ornaments to decorate them. Yeah, it's the Santa Gato Studios basement yard. Way we spread cheer. Laying on thick.

[Frankie]

Right?

[Joe Gatto]

Velvety.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

Like the silky sounds of the Michael Boobs.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Mikey Boob Blay.

[Joe Gatto]

So damn, let's get him on the.

[Frankie]

Show and have him just fucking serenade us.

[Joe Gatto]

I would do a whole episode with just Michael Boublay singing to us.

[Frankie]

I will throw an episode away to do that.

[Ant]

Yeah, just have him stand right there, and whenever he feels like it, sing.

[Frankie]

But shut up.

[Joe Gatto]

He's got to sing cool stuff. If he starts throwing out, like, the religious Christmas songs, I I'm off, bro.

[Frankie]

Little drummer boy.

[Ant]

What is that? Who cares?

[Joe Gatto]

Even. Who cares about this little kid that could play the drum? Yo.

[Frankie]

You know what's a banger? Noel? That I actually. Oh, wait, no, not Noel. Not that. There's another song that I'm like.

[Joe Gatto]

No. Oh, it's. It's.

[Ant]

It's another one in Elf at the end.

[Frankie]

The song.

[Joe Gatto]

What's.

[Ant]

What's it called? It's like, not real words.

[Joe Gatto]

I don't know.

[Ant]

She's on the piano. Like, James Caan's playing the piano.

[Frankie]

She's singing it.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, my God.

[Frankie]

I just watched Elfda.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, fuck. Yeah. We just watched it the other day, too. Now I can't. I know what you're.

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Pick up some Coca Cola at a store near you.

[Joe Gatto]

Like, literally the end credits.

Oh, that There's. Those are real words.

[Ant]

I mean, they're like.

[Frankie]

Not, though.

[Ant]

That was good.

[Joey Santigato]

All Lane sign.

[Ant]

See what I'm saying?

[Joe Gatto]

This is worse. But it ain't worth All Lane sign. It's literally. It's.

[Ant]

That's what it's called.

[Joe Gatto]

It sounds like a board game. That's stupid.

[Frankie]

It sounds like Latin, probably.

[Joe Gatto]

What are the words? What are the actual words? Like, Pig Latin is Pig Latin.

Say.

Probably.

[Joey Santigato]

Rob Stewart.

[Ant]

Rod Stewart.

[Joey Santigato]

Rob.

[Ant]

Oh, Rob Stewart.

[Joey Santigato]

No, no, no, it is Rod.

[Ant]

Rod Stewart.

[Joe Gatto]

Maggie May.

[Ant]

Rod Stewart. Didn't you say his dad said that he had.

[Joe Gatto]

He was filled with some stuff.

[Frankie]

My dad said that?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. Your dad. That's what I'm saying.

[Frankie]

They pumped a bunch of cc's of jizz out of him in a hospital and I'm like, I'm not even going.

[Ant]

To listen to what you're saying. I was in the hospital.

[Frankie]

Also started that with. Did you hear about Rod Stewart, dad?

[Ant]

No one has heard at that point.

[Frankie]

I was in my 20s. No, no, no, no, no.

[Ant]

I know two songs.

[Joe Gatto]

Are you going to tell us the words?

[Ant]

No, it's. Auld Lang Sign.

[Joey Santigato]

It's. Yeah, it's. It's that. And then it goes into, like, Old lang sign, my dear. Old lang syne.

[Joe Gatto]

What the hell is Old Lang Sign?

[Ant]

I believe it's like an.

[Joey Santigato]

It's a Scottish poem.

[Ant]

Scottish.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, can't. Don't fuck with the Scottish. They'll beat the brakes off of Us.

[Frankie]

No one's doing that.

[Joe Gatto]

I, like, looked into it because I.

[Frankie]

Remember hearing that song and being like, wow, I love this song so much for some reason. And then I was like, I wonder what the words are, because I.

[Ant]

You know, sometimes you hear a song.

[Frankie]

And you're like, I don't know what that part.

[Joe Gatto]

Like, it's.

[Frankie]

It could be anything. And then I looked it up, and I was like, oh, it's what I thought it was.

[Ant]

It's just not real.

[Joe Gatto]

I would love to hear, like, a Scottish Christmas song or like a Christmas song sang in Scottish.

[Ant]

Well, give me. Give me one.

[Joe Gatto]

Give me one.

[Frankie]

And I could.

[Joe Gatto]

Because I know it would be just very loud.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, probably.

[Ant]

Jingle bells, jingle bells. Them fucking bells are jangling. That done it. Jingle bells, jangle bells jiggle way.

[Frankie]

Oh, man. God damn it. I love Christmas.

[Joey Santigato]

So it means old. Like old times old.

[Joe Gatto]

For old times sake, stupid.

[Frankie]

Ah.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay.

[Frankie]

All right.

[Joe Gatto]

So we brought in some ornaments, each of us, to decorate our trees. Yeah. And we're gonna go and we're gonna show them, and we're gonna hang them up. And I think in true basement yard fashion, they're probably gonna be a little ridiculous.

[Ant]

Yeah, I'll go first. Oh, I did the first one I have.

[Frankie]

It's a. It's a Cheeto, but it's got Danny DeVito's face, and it's a Danny the Cheeto.

[Joe Gatto]

That is. That's really orange.

[Frankie]

It's. This looks like it was 3D printed.

[Joe Gatto]

Is it taste good?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Not edible.

[Joe Gatto]

Not edible. That's cool. Danny DeVito icon. Dude, he's like 80.

[Frankie]

Fuck off.

[Joe Gatto]

He's getting up there. Dude.

[Frankie]

Danny DeVito is not 80.

[Joe Gatto]

I think he is. I think he's getting up him. Morgan Freeman, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro.

[Frankie]

Al Pacino looks 80.

[Ant]

He's looked 80 since he was 50.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

To be fair, 81.

[Joey Santigato]

Oh.

[Ant]

Danny DeVito's 81.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Out of here, bro.

[Joey Santigato]

I tell you what, for someone his size.

[Ant]

Don't bring that up. You are on fuck. You are skinning on thin ice, and you're about to fall into the lake.

[Joe Gatto]

What is wrong?

[Joey Santigato]

It's like how, you know, they say really.

[Joe Gatto]

First you attack boobs, now you're attacking Danny DeVito.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I want.

[Joey Santigato]

Let me take a years out of him.

[Joe Gatto]

Let me tell you something.

[Frankie]

I love Danny DeVito.

[Joe Gatto]

You're fucking cruising for a bruising at the end of our alleyway, okay?

[Ant]

Because we're thugs. We're thugs.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay, that's really cool.

[Frankie]

Like, 81, huh?

[Joe Gatto]

You like Cheetos. That's more of a cheese doodle, if we're being honest.

[Frankie]

I know. I only fudge with the puff.

[Joe Gatto]

I fuck with those puffs, too.

[Frankie]

I really like the crunchy.

[Joe Gatto]

I want some hips behind my Cheetos.

[Frankie]

I want to like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

I want this thing to like pack a punch.

[Frankie]

Sometimes I like to shove two into my mouth like I'm at the dentist.

[Joe Gatto]

And then. Yes, I do that and then I punch my cheek.

[Frankie]

Okay, that one you're doing by yourself.

[Joe Gatto]

No, no, no, no.

[Ant]

You guys don't do that.

[Frankie]

Not a shared experience.

[Joe Gatto]

Really?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

I threw up a full Cheetos puff once.

[Ant]

I threw up cheat.

[Joe Gatto]

I threw up cheese doodles in Pre K all over the floor.

[Frankie]

Wait, what'd you do?

[Ant]

What did you do?

[Joey Santigato]

I threw up a full Cheetos puff once.

[Joe Gatto]

I threw him up.

[Frankie]

You didn't eat it?

[Joey Santigato]

You didn't.

[Ant]

You didn't chew it?

[Joey Santigato]

I have a suspicion that it formed a Cheeto back in my stomach, okay?

[Frankie]

What?

[Joe Gatto]

Your suspicion is so wildly inaccurate, my bro.

[Ant]

I have a suspicion that said science and physics, but in fact, what do you think?

[Joe Gatto]

You think your stomach is just cooler than everyone else's stomach? Regular ass stomach, bro.

[Frankie]

Imagine if you did throw up.

[Ant]

It came out the full thing.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, that, that happens with like. I know people that have, like thrown up pills and they've come out full pills still. Cuz they take a time.

[Frankie]

That's not what I'm saying at all.

[Joey Santigato]

He's saying like throwing up. Like you eat a steak, then it comes back a T bone.

[Frankie]

Like a steak.

[Joe Gatto]

That would be kind of cool, actually. All right, Danny Dito. I kind of love that. I think it adds a nice color pop. Yeah. And it's a good looking DeVito.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

All right, I'm going to start.

So it's been a good year in our house. Great year. Incredible year. But I have noticed that one of the most regular inclusions in any grocery order that we have is pickles. So that's why I have this, which is a Christmas tree made of pickles. It's just such a pickle year. I think pickles are having a resurgence. I brought back Hawaiian shirts. I brought back the word laborious. I do think that I am slowly bringing back pickles for the world.

[Frankie]

You okay?

[Joe Gatto]

What?

[Frankie]

That's. Why is your other hand below the desk? I don't like that.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay.

[Frankie]

Because I didn't know if there was something going on.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, there's some other stuff going on. I'm sure I got some Other stuff. Just into pickles, man. Bro, we get pickles.

So much. Like every order we do, it's stacked with pickles.

[Frankie]

What is stacked with pickles?

[Joe Gatto]

Costco sized pickle jars. And we get the grillo into our mouths, brother.

[Frankie]

No, no. Where can it be stored?

[Joe Gatto]

Into the fridge, my brother.

[Frankie]

You could fit a giant jar in your fridge.

[Joe Gatto]

It's like this.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

And it's the grillo's pickles.

[Frankie]

Are those. Are those full? Are they sliced?

[Joe Gatto]

They're sliced. I do get their half sours, though. And I do. You know, I love pickles. Remember at the old studio?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I'd get pickles all the time.

[Frankie]

Yeah. I mean, watching you eat a pickle, that is the interesting thing.

[Joe Gatto]

My days of consuming pickles have changed. My previous days.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

I used to. I. It used to be a little sexually aggressive. Just like that song.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it was.

[Joey Santigato]

Now instead of the full pickle at once you take bites.

[Frankie]

No, he, like, he sucks the pickle dry. And I'm. And I know that sounds like I'm trying to make a joke, but it. He literally would like, suck the pickle until there was no moisture.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. What I would do is I'd turn it into a praise and. Which is naturally a pickle raisin.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joe Gatto]

And it. I would bite the top off and I would. I would literally. I can't do this. Suck it off.

[Frankie]

Yeah. You'd suck it until it's dry.

[Joe Gatto]

I. I would. I would.

[Frankie]

You'd suck it rotten.

[Joey Santigato]

Can you.

[Joe Gatto]

Can you take it back one fucking step?

[Frankie]

I feel like I'm not being that crazy.

[Joe Gatto]

I think you're being a little crazy and sucking something rotten.

[Frankie]

Well, I. I think that's a. That's a nice one. It's good. I like it. Do you have ornaments too?

[Joey Santigato]

I do.

[Frankie]

Oh, nice.

[Joe Gatto]

Cool bag.

[Joey Santigato]

Oh, I don't know if they're all gonna fit on the tree. I got one and I realized how big it was.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joey Santigato]

So this is a ornament that.

[Frankie]

Hey, Ant. Yep.

[Joe Gatto]

What the hell is that?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, so it's a. It's stuck. Here, give me a second. It's a mermaid reindeer holding a gift. That looks kind of similar to.

[Joe Gatto]

Wow. That does kind of look like Joey.

[Frankie]

What the fuck?

[Ant]

Did you make that?

[Joey Santigato]

I did not.

[Joe Gatto]

Yes, you did.

[Joey Santigato]

You want to come see it?

[Frankie]

I need to get close to this guy.

[Joe Gatto]

What do you got rattling over there?

[Joey Santigato]

Why am I. Oh, he's stuck. Oh, you're real stuck.

[Ant]

Wrapped up.

[Joey Santigato]

Would you like to see?

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, what the hell?

[Joey Santigato]

I don't. That is pretty can you see this?

[Ant]

Wait, what did you type into Amazon?

[Joe Gatto]

Uncanny, weird ornaments.

[Joey Santigato]

And it's a mermaid. It's a Christmas mermaid wearing a scarf with reindeer.

[Joe Gatto]

You almost knocked over your tree, by the way. You sat down and it was fucking horizontal.

[Joey Santigato]

Oh, there it goes.

[Frankie]

We're fine. The Cheetos hanging.

[Joe Gatto]

The Cheeto is good.

[Joey Santigato]

Kind of looks like you.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it does.

[Joe Gatto]

Also, it's the size of your tree that's the problem. That is a big. That is a big ornament. What's that made out of? Is it hollow? Brother, it's.

[Joey Santigato]

How much was that?

[Ant]

It looks like it was $40.

[Joey Santigato]

It was about, what, $33.

[Ant]

How much?

[Joey Santigato]

$33.

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, that's a lot of money to spend on a joke ornament.

[Ant]

We're also. That was stats out of your pocket.

[Joey Santigato]

Well, this one looks like. This one looks like you. I feel like it'd be out of.

[Frankie]

This is unbelievable.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, wait. We're getting reimbursed for our purchased ornaments.

[Frankie]

Frank, It's a pickle ornament.

[Joe Gatto]

I think it's beautiful. That.

[Ant]

Is that insane?

[Joe Gatto]

That's big, dude.

[Ant]

Oh, of course.

[Joe Gatto]

He got little tree, big ornament. He's overcompensating.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

For his tree.

[Joey Santigato]

That's the biggest one I have.

[Ant]

It's huge.

[Joe Gatto]

Way too big.

[Ant]

The biggest one I've ever seen.

[Joe Gatto]

Needlessly. Yeah. Honestly, that is the biggest outside of, like, the stars that go on top, which I didn't bring any. Did.

[Frankie]

I didn't bring any.

[Joe Gatto]

I forgot that you would hate the star that we had on top of our tree for years.

[Frankie]

I already know what it is.

[Joe Gatto]

What is it?

[Frankie]

Is it the same one as Espo?

[Joe Gatto]

Which one is that?

[Frankie]

The Super Mario Star?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ant]

Okay, we do.

[Joe Gatto]

Let's.

[Ant]

Before we get to the rest of.

[Frankie]

The ornaments here, we do have some sponsors for the show. The first one being. How you doing? Zoc Dock. Okay, so don't forget that during this holiday season, you also want to be healthy, be happy. A lot of people going to the new year also, you know, they start doing their New Year's resolutions and they want to be healthier and whatnot. But you should go to the doctor and get your checkup, your yearly checkup. But yeah. So ZocDoc, it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality and network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. So this is a website that I used when I was off my mother's insurance. You go onto the website, you put in your insurance, and the area that you're in and then you can look up doctors in your area. And it's not just primary care physicians, it's, you know, dermatologists or whatever you need. There's specialists there and you can see that they are patient reviewed. So, you know, you find people that have a really good rating, I believe it's out of five, and you say, okay, I'll go to that doctor for this thing. And when their next available appointment is, which is usually within 70, 72 hours. Sometimes it's been, you know, the next day. A lot of the times, honestly for me, it's been the next day. So it's a great place to book all your appointments. So, yeah, like I said, it's a free app and website. So go check it out. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to Zocdoc.com basement okay? That is Zocdoc.com basement spelled Z O C.com basement so get your checkups, folks.

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[Joe Gatto]

All right, love that also.

[Ant]

What else do you love?

[Joe Gatto]

If you're saving yourself some money and you want to give the gift of something, why not give the gift of the basement yard? Patreon.com the basement yard is the best way to do it. So go to patreon.com the basement yard and you can give the gift of the Basement yard this holiday season or gift yourself a little something. We're so tied up with giving other people gifts, we could treat ourselves a little bit. You sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday which come out. They're just for you. And if you sign up and you've never been a patron again, you can watch every single back cataloged episode that goes back to when we started doing them, which was at this point seems like decades ago. So go check them out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard Hand if you want to sign, sign up and save yourself a couple extra bucks. Type that into a web browser. Okay? Don't, don't, don't use one of those smart apps because then they're going to take some extra money from you. So if you go to the Web browser version, patreon.com the Basement Yard and you sign up there, you're going to save yourself some money. You're going to be one of the growing amounts of patrons that we have here. Continuing to break records. Thank you guys so much. And it's well worth it, I think. Don't take my word for it. Take this eyewitness testimony. Whoever's editing is put in the eyewitness testimony. Just put in something like someone saying it's. Yeah. So there you go. You saw, you heard from that person in particular. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard we love you and we'll catch you on the flippity flop.

[Frankie]

All right. We'll catch you on the flip. All right, so I had the ribbon.

[Joe Gatto]

You need to add the ribbon.

[Frankie]

I didn't, I didn't do this pot. Oh my God. This one is a heavy hitter here.

[Joe Gatto]

Heavy hitter in what regards?

[Frankie]

This is Thicklist. Cage. It's Nicholas Cage on a Thick Girl's Body.

[Joe Gatto]

It's backwards. It's backwards. There you go, there you go.

[Frankie]

There it is.

[Ant]

There's Nicholas Cage, yo.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Wait, is that his face from Con Air?

[Frankie]

I hope.

But yeah. That was a great movie, dude.

[Joe Gatto]

You know, it's so funny that you say that.

[Frankie]

What?

[Joe Gatto]

You know, it's so fucking funny that you have that ornament. You know who texted me in the wee hours of the night last night?

[Frankie]

Nicholas Cage.

[Joe Gatto]

Could you imagine? No. Hank Green.

[Frankie]

Oh yeah, he texted me yesterday.

[Ant]

Yeah, he Goes, joe shared your number.

[Joe Gatto]

Sorry I didn't send you ducks. Here's a duck. And it was Nicholas Cage.

[Ant]

Not as a duck.

[Joe Gatto]

And he goes, oh, fuck, sorry. And it's just another picture of Nicolas Cage. And he's like, oh, shit.

And I responded, that's not a duck, that's a goat. Wow, that's a good one, dude. Hank Green, Nicholas Cage. So you just have a celebrity filled. Celebrity film, Christmas tree. That's all he. That's all he wants. That's all he needs. Favorite Nick Cage movie.

[Frankie]

Damn. You know what? I just watched National Treasure on a plane.

[Joe Gatto]

It's so good.

[Frankie]

It's good, man.

[Joe Gatto]

It is so good.

[Frankie]

I really like that movie.

[Joey Santigato]

What's the one with the green. The green balls?

[Ant]

Oh, that's the rock.

[Joey Santigato]

Those green balls look sick.

[Frankie]

Is that with Sean Connery?

[Joe Gatto]

Sean Connery?

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Michael Bay.

[Frankie]

That's about. What's it called?

[Joe Gatto]

Breaking out of. Or breaking into Alcatraz. Alcatraz, yeah.

[Frankie]

Let's put. Let's put Nikki up here.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, you're getting Nick Thicklist Cage right in the middle. Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal, I'll tell you that.

[Frankie]

Y.

[Joe Gatto]

That's crazy. I saw someone recently said, thicker than zoo glass.

[Ant]

That's great.

[Joe Gatto]

That's a good one. Okay, well, listen.

I'd be remiss if I didn't bring in something from my childhood and I had to. And I know I previously brought this up, but this was mine when I was a child. It's a skateboarding dinosaur. And now that I look at it, I have the wrong one. This is my brother's. Where's mine?

[Frankie]

That's not your brother, that's yours.

[Joe Gatto]

It says Son 1994 on the. On the back. Oh, fuck.

[Frankie]

Okay, wait, do you have all of your. Your skating dinosaur?

[Joe Gatto]

I guess I have. I guess.

[Frankie]

Or have you just had this one forever?

[Joe Gatto]

I've had this one and be like, this is mine. And now that I see it's 94. Maybe it's my brothers.

[Frankie]

Cannot you.

[Ant]

Or maybe you got. Or maybe they just got it to.

[Joe Gatto]

Me in two years old. Yeah. Regardless, he's a skating dinosaur with a backwards cap, which is so cool, and a pink backpack, which at the time.

Not ideal.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

You know, but look, he's hip, he's fly, he's got a bit of childlike wonder, and he's balancing on his really rad skateboard.

[Frankie]

That's cute.

[Joe Gatto]

I think it really captures my joy and happiness.

[Frankie]

Yeah, you don't look like it.

[Joe Gatto]

I think I can look like it.

[Frankie]

Look, you can't.

[Joe Gatto]

The building.

[Frankie]

Great.

[Joe Gatto]

I like it. The building is on its way down.

[Frankie]

Hagrid just got here.

[Joey Santigato]

What was that?

[Frankie]

It's just.

[Joe Gatto]

You know, this is. This is a family and. Alvarez family relic. And this will last forever. Nice. And if it ever gets thrown out, I will haunt any of my ancestors that have done that.

[Frankie]

Sure you will. That seems like on par for you.

[Joe Gatto]

Don't say it like that.

[Frankie]

What if people throw stuff out? I believe it. All right.

[Joey Santigato]

I was looking at the. My feed over here. The arms on this thing look great in this lighting.

[Frankie]

Nice.

[Joey Santigato]

Just saying.

[Frankie]

Yeah, you're horny.

[Joey Santigato]

All right.

[Joe Gatto]

What else?

[Joey Santigato]

I had one that looks like Joe, so I thought I'd get one that looks like Frankie. I have it. Pennywise.

[Ant]

Oh, fuck you.

[Joe Gatto]

Wow.

[Ant]

Why do I look like it?

[Frankie]

What am I looking at?

[Joe Gatto]

Who am I? I can't even see it.

[Frankie]

Why is the balloon in front of his face?

[Joey Santigato]

That's a little bit.

[Joe Gatto]

That's how he stands.

[Frankie]

Oh, that's right.

[Joe Gatto]

Ready to flute. Not bad. That was pretty. Not bad.

[Joey Santigato]

Dude, I don't think you look like this.

[Joe Gatto]

I. I figured it was a joke.

[Joey Santigato]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

Although Bill Skarsgard.

Actually. Yeah, now that I think about it.

[Frankie]

It'S got big eyes.

[Joe Gatto]

Got big eyes. Dude, that whole family. Bill, Alex, bro, they can sell and see, dude.

[Frankie]

They can see.

[Joe Gatto]

They can see.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

And they can act, let me tell you.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Like a family of actors.

[Frankie]

Good for them.

[Joe Gatto]

I. Have you seen. You've seen the it Movies, right, Joey?

[Frankie]

Yeah. I only saw the first one.

[Joe Gatto]

It was. The second one was a little disappointing, personally. Well, it's a little crazy, too. They took some stuff out of those books that I'm glad they took out. Do you know about the books and you know about the books?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah. Well, they had to take out that.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

So I'm not.

[Joey Santigato]

Stephen King's a weird dude.

[Joe Gatto]

Stephen King was clearly on cocaine for several decades. And when the kids get out of the tunnel. Yeah, when they get out of the tunnel after they defeat it in the first part of the book.

[Joey Santigato]

They thought that to defeat it they needed to grow up and not be kids anymore.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Joe Gatto]

So they all practice having sex with the one female member of the losers club.

He's writing these about.

[Joey Santigato]

Excuse me.

[Joe Gatto]

He's writing this about 10 year olds.

[Joey Santigato]

I didn't know if. I didn't know Frankie was just gonna hammer it there.

[Ant]

But I mean, I don't think any.

[Joe Gatto]

Way to describe it is any worse than the actual. What it is.

[Frankie]

I had no idea that Was part of a thing. Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

It didn't really work. It didn't.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I don't think that would have been green.

[Joe Gatto]

It absolutely did not work.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

He ended up coming back.

[Frankie]

Right. Well, I got this one for.

[Ant]

Oh, that's just. What is this?

[Frankie]

This one's for you, bud.

[Joey Santigato]

Thank you.

[Frankie]

You got one for me? Thank you. Yeah, no, that's just.

[Ant]

What is that, Mickey?

[Frankie]

It is.

[Joe Gatto]

It was.

[Frankie]

I'll be honest with you. I got this as a joke, and I'm looking at it and I don't like it.

[Joe Gatto]

Now you feel bad about it?

[Frankie]

Yeah, I do. You.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm not. You have a full on.

[Frankie]

What's with this? What's that?

[Joe Gatto]

That's, like, on the things. Like, they have, like, little red things on them to, like, snap it.

[Frankie]

Oh, that's the crank.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, I'm sure it's just, like a design thing.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I don't like this anymore.

[Ant]

It's kind of mean.

[Joey Santigato]

Well, it has to go on your tree now.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. Now you have to put it up.

[Joey Santigato]

You have to put.

[Joe Gatto]

Now you have to declare that you are a murdering psychopath.

[Joey Santigato]

But in the back of the tree.

[Frankie]

Well, she fell. Is it like a good quality?

[Joe Gatto]

That looks like a good quality ornament.

[Joey Santigato]

Is it heavy?

[Frankie]

Yeah, it's kind of heavy. All right.

[Joe Gatto]

What do you got? Okay, well, I also went the route. This one, it's got some bells on it, so it's festive.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

And it says, go ahead, jingle my bells, Frank.

[Frankie]

Is that. Am I looking at a ass?

[Joey Santigato]

I think those are balls, brother.

[Frankie]

What am I looking at? But what am I looking at?

[Joe Gatto]

It's. Yes, that's an ass. And underneath, those are supposed to be the bells.

[Joey Santigato]

Wow.

[Joe Gatto]

I just think, like, you know, it's playful, it's fun, it's happy. Yeah, it is. Like, it's like a.

[Ant]

Go ahead.

[Joe Gatto]

Like, this is what I expect to see on the back of, like, a Ford F150 right. During Christmas time.

[Frankie]

And now it's on your.

[Joe Gatto]

And also a Punisher logo.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joe Gatto]

That's clearly taken out of context because people don't understand that the Punisher actually didn't, like, corrupt people.

[Frankie]

All right.

[Joe Gatto]

But, yeah, go ahead. It's. It's. It's wood.

[Frankie]

Oh, thank God.

[Joe Gatto]

I can't put this up on my.

[Frankie]

Tree at home, that's for sure. There will be questions.

[Joe Gatto]

There will be questions. I just thought it was a cute little way to say, like, hey, you don't like me?

[Frankie]

Fuck you. Right? This is the appropriate setting.

[Joe Gatto]

I would think so. Yeah.

[Frankie]

I Mean, I killed Disney. Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

You have a full on murder scene on yours.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

And Ant has what I can only imagine is the how he goons over you as a merman.

[Ant]

What are we doing?

[Joey Santigato]

I brought it in.

[Joe Gatto]

Well, if he's going balls, you're going to gingerbread.

[Joey Santigato]

I told you I had it.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it's an interesting one.

[Joey Santigato]

This is what I'm doing.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

How do YouTube? It's all right. It's a gingerbread.

[Frankie]

Say again YouTube.

[Joey Santigato]

It's a gingerbread.

[Frankie]

Oh, they probably. I mean, yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

I hope they don't know what this is.

[Frankie]

I mean, we got balls.

[Joe Gatto]

And now dogs, I don't think and anthropomorphic characters, like animated characters are going to get us into a ton of trouble.

[Frankie]

Right? You couldn't say animated. You didn't want to say that. What was the reasoning behind anthropomorphic?

[Ant]

That's not even anthropomorphic.

[Frankie]

I don't even know what it means.

[Joey Santigato]

This is pretty prominent.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

And for some reason the balls keep turning toward me and I don't like that. So we're just going to put them.

[Frankie]

The. The balls yearn for you, baby.

All right.

[Joe Gatto]

The balls just. They're attracted to me, I guess.

[Frankie]

All right, what else do I got in my bag?

[Joe Gatto]

Whose is worse? Ants Full on sexual intercourse happening on his tree or mine? Which is just like a little haha innuendo.

[Frankie]

I mean, we don't know.

[Joe Gatto]

Maybe into the mic.

[Ant]

I don't know.

[Frankie]

So this one very easy. Obviously it's very bass.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh yeah. Wiener mobile.

[Ant]

Oh, I love it.

[Joe Gatto]

That's a good one.

[Ant]

Dude, put a wiener on there. Dude, get your wiener out.

[Joe Gatto]

Come on. Joey's got a wiener on his tree. I got balls on mine. And Ant has. Where both of them go.

The sex one. Oh yeah.

[Ant]

I didn't even think of that.

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, when's the last time you had a hot dog?

[Frankie]

It's been a minute. I mean, obviously it's December.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh yeah, Obvious.

[Frankie]

Okay, so I'm gonna ask the last week.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh yeah.

[Frankie]

Do you count sausage?

[Joe Gatto]

No.

[Frankie]

Right?

[Joe Gatto]

Unless they're called Italian hot dogs. No, no, you don't. You know, you know, you don't buy that.

[Joey Santigato]

What was the occasion?

[Joe Gatto]

Sunday got.

Was the Lord's day and daddy needed a dog, let me tell you.

[Frankie]

Wow.

[Joe Gatto]

What do you. What are you finagling?

[Frankie]

I have to put in another ribbon for my next one.

[Joe Gatto]

Also Oscar Meyer. Those are good dogs. Oscar Meyer. Nathan's some good dogs.

[Joey Santigato]

The only ornament I bought was the Joe as a mermaid. The rest are all these all going on my tree.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God. That's insane. Okay, you put that actual one on your tree. That's insane.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, but when. Sometimes it's in the back of the tree.

[Frankie]

Got it.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay, well, my next one might be a little infuriating for some people, but.

Why do we confine to the. The limits that big Christmas puts on what is and what isn't an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something that you want to proudly figure. Excuse me, Proudly and prominently feature on your tree. So, yes, these are all technically ornaments. Sure. But an ornament that I have that will be going on my tree is Jeff Hardy. Okay. Now, yeah, sure, he doesn't have traditional ornament build, but it's. It's. A tree should be representative of its owner. And I am. I. If I am nothing, I am a wrestling fan. So Jeff Hardy is going to be. Going to Swanton bomb off the top of my tree.

[Frankie]

Frank, I know you think this is going to piss me off, but I love it.

[Joe Gatto]

Really?

[Frankie]

It's Jeff Hardy.

[Ant]

I didn't think you were going to like it.

[Joe Gatto]

I thought you would for sure be pissed off and be like, that's not our name.

[Frankie]

No, I love Jeff Hardy.

[Joe Gatto]

The top of the tree in the shot.

[Frankie]

I mean, he's got to be on top. He's on the top rope.

[Joey Santigato]

Definitely won't be in the shot, but.

[Joe Gatto]

All right, so then I'll put him where he's ready to do Swanton. Hey, so Jeff Hardy, man, that's a great. I mean that. That's a WWE legend. Yeah. You know, King of the Swanton, right? And fishnets.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

And humping the air very aggressively also.

[Frankie]

Was the reason why I bought a necklace once and it cut me.

[Joe Gatto]

So I had to take the Hardy logo necklace.

[Frankie]

The sharpest thing I've ever had in my.

[Joe Gatto]

My brother wore it playing basketball and it went through a kid's finger, see?

[Frankie]

Yeah, it was, bro.

[Joe Gatto]

Did you ever see. You were not a big wrestling fan back in the day, right?

[Joey Santigato]

Not really.

[Joe Gatto]

Did you ever see the Hardy Boys logo?

[Joey Santigato]

Probably in passing.

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, look at.

[Frankie]

But it's like it's.

[Joe Gatto]

And it's sharp, dude. Look it up and you're going to see like this was on kids necklaces and this was like die casted metal. So it was like.

[Frankie]

It was hard.

[Ant]

It was not.

[Joe Gatto]

It was like that. But.

[Frankie]

But the edges of it were so sharp, dude. And it like cut me once and my mom made me take it off.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, dude, those things were not that one. That wasn't the one we had.

[Frankie]

It was just silver and it was.

[Joe Gatto]

Like a beaded low.

[Frankie]

I mean, we don't need to fucking.

[Joe Gatto]

Pull it up, but it was like beaded. Yeah, it was. It was not.

[Joey Santigato]

It definitely looks sharp.

[Joe Gatto]

It is.

[Frankie]

It's not that one, but it's like that purple one.

[Joe Gatto]

Right?

[Ant]

Just type in the necklace.

[Frankie]

Just type it. Necklace.

[Joey Santigato]

Got you.

[Joe Gatto]

It definitely had some edges to it.

[Joey Santigato]

Neck lace.

[Joe Gatto]

There you go.

[Frankie]

The first one. Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

That thing was sharp as.

[Ant]

It looks pretty rounded in this photo. It's not doing it, but it killed me.

[Joe Gatto]

It's not doing it justice.

[Joey Santigato]

This one looks sharp. This. This one?

[Frankie]

Yeah. It wasn't that one.

[Joe Gatto]

No. Well, that has a beaded necklace too. Yeah, it could have been that.

[Frankie]

Well, regardless, this thing almost killed me.

[Joe Gatto]

But I think my tree wouldn't be who I am and who I feel I am if it didn't have some wrestling on it.

[Frankie]

Frank, you're not Jeff Hardy.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, I'm closer to Jeff Hardy than you are.

[Frankie]

That's ridiculous.

[Ant]

How is that ridiculous? You think you're closer to being Jeff Hardy than me?

[Joe Gatto]

Who do you think has done more Whispers in the Wind, you or me? Me.

[Ant]

I've Swanton. All I do is Swanton, bro.

[Joe Gatto]

You've done a one on one with Swanton. But I would do a lot of poetry and motions with my brothers.

[Ant]

I.

[Joe Gatto]

That's it.

[Ant]

That's a Matt Hardy thing. That's me.

[Joe Gatto]

You don't know who Jeff Hardy is? Don't look at his mug shots.

[Ant]

You don't know Jeff Hardy?

[Joey Santigato]

I didn't say that. I was just trying to compare.

[Joe Gatto]

I was about to freak out. I mean, if we're going based off looks, sure it's Joey Twinkie boy.

But if we're going based off of just general vibe, and I'm more of a.

[Frankie]

Like, he kind of looks like a. Like a. What's that shit called? A vampire.

[Joe Gatto]

He could be. If Jeff Hardy was a vampire, I would not be astonished.

[Joey Santigato]

Now he wouldn't be able to wear this cross here.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, that's true. It would hurt him also would hurt him. Of the two of us, you are way more likely to wear fishnets than I am. I'll give you that. I will give you that.

[Frankie]

All right, what do you got?

[Joey Santigato]

I have a resin twisted tea bottle cap.

[Joe Gatto]

Well, obviously I talked about this as well.

[Joey Santigato]

I believe I brought this in. Just, you know, some proof.

[Frankie]

Nice. Maybe put that one.

[Joe Gatto]

Did you make that? You drink the teas yourself?

[Joey Santigato]

No, I bought this.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh.

[Joey Santigato]

On Etsy. Yep.

[Joe Gatto]

You could have made that. You guys are pretty handy.

[Joey Santigato]

I don't know how to do a resins thing.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Have you ever made. Did you guys have the beer? The beer wall, like, the wall that was just like the cutout boxes?

[Joey Santigato]

I wasn't in a frat. Like, if it's more fratty housey, bro.

[Ant]

Your life is cracked.

[Frankie]

What are you talking about?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, but I gotta live. I can't give him.

[Joe Gatto]

They didn't give him the letters, but they gave him everything else.

[Frankie]

I walked into Anne's house one time and there was a control contraption that, like, you pour a giant bottle of fucking Jameson.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, I see that, though. Like the. Like the. The wheelchair for it, right? Yeah, it's not a wheelchair, but, like, it's like.

[Frankie]

Like a hand truck.

[Joe Gatto]

Like what? Yeah. Yes, I hear what you're saying. I was gonna say something that probably would have upset people. Yeah. Well, that's nice. Wait, did you. So you bought that?

[Joey Santigato]

I bought this, yes.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm gonna ask.

[Frankie]

Well, I.

[Joey Santigato]

Well, this was. I bought this like four years ago.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm an ass.

[Frankie]

Nice.

[Joey Santigato]

I think it was like 30 something.

[Marshall's Advertiser]

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[Joe Gatto]

Yo, bro. The budget you have, that is easy. Might have been 18 you could have made that for.

[Frankie]

How could mine have been 18? It's such an exact number.

[Joey Santigato]

How does back loading expenses work? Does it.

[Joe Gatto]

What does that mean?

[Frankie]

Like, if he's going to charge me for this.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, it does work.

[Frankie]

Yes, you can. I could do it.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

Thank you. Frankie.

[Joe Gatto]

Comes out.

[Frankie]

It comes out of somewhere.

[Joey Santigato]

She was like, try it. I'll move the sex thing.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

No, leave the sex one up.

[Frankie]

This one.

[Joe Gatto]

Because your tree tells. I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off. Your tree tells a story. So what it is is someone saw a mermaid and was so horned up they drank a bunch of twisted teas and had sex.

[Joey Santigato]

We could tell a better story.

[Frankie]

All right, my next one, I have just a cute raccoon covered in Christmas lights because they're cute and he's doing the rock on.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, that sucks.

[Frankie]

No, it doesn't.

[Joe Gatto]

I hate raccoons.

[Frankie]

Don't be a bastard.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm not being a bastard, but if I had a gun, I'd shoot your tree.

[Frankie]

You hate animals.

[Joe Gatto]

I don't hate animals.

[Frankie]

Oh, I love animals.

[Ant]

You're a little serial killer when it comes to animals.

[Joe Gatto]

First of all, the only cereal that I'm killing is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Second of all.

[Ant]

Let'S call off the joke fucking master and tell him his jokes. Fucking getting. Someone's down here telling jokes.

Fuck out of here.

I thought that was quick and witty. I thought it was perfect. I don't hate animals.

[Joe Gatto]

I hate raccoons because they're little fucking mongers.

[Ant]

I just don't like that they're so.

[Joe Gatto]

Chaotic and stupid and ugly.

[Frankie]

Frank, this is objectively adorable.

[Joe Gatto]

I did see something that you're gonna be pumped about. There's research to suggest that raccoons are becoming, like, slowly more domesticated, which means we can have them as pets. Talk that talk.

[Frankie]

Because I'll get one in here if they won't get one.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm letting you know, if you get a raccoon in here, I'm putting it in the trash can.

[Ant]

And it'll be chilling.

[Joe Gatto]

I will lock the trash can and then put it on the stove top.

[Frankie]

And this is where we're getting to serial killer. You're a cereal.

[Joe Gatto]

The only cereal that I've killed is Apple Jacks.

[Frankie]

Love. That's a great one.

[Joe Gatto]

That was that. I mean, it is cute.

[Ant]

Hey, little cute guy covered in lights.

[Joe Gatto]

But if you saw that in real life, that exact real thing.

[Frankie]

If you can guarantee that a raccoon doesn't have rabies. I'm hugging it.

[Joe Gatto]

Hugging them out of here. There's just a little. It's a little. It's literally a little rat.

[Frankie]

So are you. How you like that?

[Joe Gatto]

You're not allowed to call Hispanic people rats, Joey.

[Frankie]

That's what your.

[Joe Gatto]

Your parole officer told you.

[Frankie]

No more. What do you got?

[Joe Gatto]

All right, listen, I'm sticking with family heirlooms, okay? I like this tree to be representative of me where I've come from.

[Frankie]

You've said this every round.

[Joe Gatto]

And where I am going. And nothing helps me keep a humble.

Happy and optimistic, playful approach to life than remembering my first love on this planet. And my first love on this planet was Barney the dinosaur.

[Frankie]

Wow.

[Joe Gatto]

Now, Barney the dinosaur was not only one of my first loves, but he's ice skating.

[Frankie]

That's fire.

[Joe Gatto]

And Barney the dinosaur. I loved him so much.

[Frankie]

Did you?

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, my God. It was a big Barney guy.

[Ant]

Really big.

[Joe Gatto]

But now that he's being festive and skating.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Makes me love him more. And this, when I see this, it reminds me of being a child. Being a child. Humble beginnings, life.

Joy. You know, you don't need materialistic goods in order to find happiness.

[Frankie]

It's true.

[Joe Gatto]

You could just go back to the days of Barney, the purple dinosaur.

[Frankie]

Right?

[Joe Gatto]

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination.

[Frankie]

That's a song.

[Joe Gatto]

And what's more beautiful than that?

[Joey Santigato]

It's good.

[Joe Gatto]

So that's why I've put Barney on my trip.

[Joey Santigato]

That's a good one.

[Frankie]

I like that a lot.

[Joe Gatto]

You better.

[Frankie]

I can't even be nice without being yelled at. It's insane.

[Joey Santigato]

That one's cute.

[Frankie]

I like that one. What do you got?

[Joey Santigato]

Those balls are staring right at me. I have a little Mario Kart.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

One. And he's waving the checkered flag. Assuming that he's one, I believe.

[Joe Gatto]

Hey, I have a couple Mario Kart ones at home, too.

[Joey Santigato]

This one was sent to me. It was very nice.

[Frankie]

Sent to you?

[Joe Gatto]

What Mario? Is it Mario?

[Joey Santigato]

That's Mario.

[Joe Gatto]

What cart is he on?

[Joey Santigato]

Pipe frame.

[Joe Gatto]

Pipe frame, cart. Standard.

[Joey Santigato]

Standard.

[Joe Gatto]

Standard pipe frame, cart.

[Joey Santigato]

Yep.

[Joe Gatto]

Not a lot of weight to that.

[Joey Santigato]

Good drifting.

[Joe Gatto]

Good drifting, but not a lot of weight. Not a lot of acceleration. You need some. You need some more, you know, we know who the meta is.

[Frankie]

Berto.

[Joe Gatto]

Well, no, you want to go with a heavier character from what I believe.

[Joey Santigato]

Last time I brought in Mario Kart and we played. I think Joe beat you, Frankie.

[Joe Gatto]

I guarantee, though, if we were to play again, I would. I would smoke him.

I am putting up. I would put up a substantial bet.

[Frankie]

Well, the reason why I won it was because of.

[Joe Gatto]

There was like, you had the cheating. I had the bumpers on.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, he had the cheating. Rcs on.

[Joe Gatto]

Wait, what?

[Joey Santigato]

The, like, RC tail that you can't fall off the map.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I did. Which I didn't know. I don't even know what that is, but.

[Joe Gatto]

What the is that?

[Frankie]

Like, you can't fall off, so.

[Joey Santigato]

You can't fall off.

[Joe Gatto]

So you're telling as well, though.

[Frankie]

Am I bugging?

[Joey Santigato]

I don't know, but we definitely didn't tell him. You had it, and it was funny.

[Frankie]

You're watching. Oh, you got the RC tail.

[Joe Gatto]

I was like, what is that? So you're judging his victory over me based off of him cheating?

[Frankie]

I wasn't cheating.

[Joe Gatto]

I didn't turn it on. If I can quote Joey from 20 20. Stop the steal. Let's play again.

And I will absolutely beat him.

[Ant]

Whoop his ass.

[Joe Gatto]

Absolutely.

[Ant]

Recount the votes. The stars.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, that is a good one. Do you have any. Do either you guys have any that like, make sounds or like lights or anything on your tree?

[Frankie]

Like in real life or today in real life? No to both. I don't know why I even asked that.

[Ant]

I don't know. That one that I actually told you.

[Frankie]

About where it's like the crib or whatever, there is a button on the bottom, but I feel like it broke like years ago. But it used to, like, sing a song.

[Joe Gatto]

They used to have ones that you could plug into the lights. Like, I remember my mom that was.

[Frankie]

That was like that.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, my mom used to have one of those. What about you? Do you have any that make sounds or lights?

[Joey Santigato]

No.

[Joe Gatto]

You? Yes, I do. I have a couple video game ones. Like, I have a Donkey Kong cabinet that you press the button and it does the song. And then I have a super Nintendo that does Super Mario World.

[Frankie]

Nice.

[Joe Gatto]

It is very cool.

[Frankie]

Super excited.

[Ant]

Well, before we go a little further here, we do have some more sponsors.

[Frankie]

The first one being Skims.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay.

[Frankie]

Skims is a lovely company that is making, you know, underwear for the boys.

[Ant]

And for the girls.

[Joe Gatto]

They got stuff for girls as well.

[Frankie]

But I have a lot of skims underwear. They sent us a couple of pairs to try out and they are honestly, like my favorite underwear. They're very comfortable. They're very breathable. They don't like, hold in a bunch of moisture or anything like that. So you take it off, you're like, what's going on here? But they are extremely breathable. They're amazing. They're not too tight, but they also, like, are tight enough to, you know, keep everything where it should be. But they have lovely stuff for this upcoming holiday. I think this is a great gift. I actually bought my friend last year, my secret Santa. I got some skims underwear for him. So this is also a great gift to get for the holidays. So you could shop skims [e-mail], let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts this season, the skims holiday shop is now open for business. Okay, so go to skims.com and yeah, let them know that we sent you and get yourself something maybe, or, you know, and get your little fella something as well. And lastly, we have Squarespace. Squarespace is going to be the platform where you're going to build your website and they're going to kind of handle everything from there, honestly. So if you have a E commerce business or you make content or something, and a website is very important. Okay. All the websites that we have made are powered by Squarespace. It's the best, in my opinion. They have templates that make it very easy to get to a starting point. So you just click on this template. It populates a website, you switch some things out and you're kind of good to go. We've done it in a day, turned it around, and we're good to go. But they also have a lot of tools that are going to help you optimize your traffic, let you know where things are, all the analytics, everything like that. So they got you covered. And you can get started on your own website. When you go to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so that is squarespace.com basement you will save 10% off your first purchase of website or a domain. All right, so get to it and then send me your website. I want to see it. All right.

[Joe Gatto]

How many do you guys have left?

[Frankie]

I have.

[Joe Gatto]

I have douche.

[Frankie]

I have one.

[Joe Gatto]

All right, and so how about I go and then. And then we'll come back around, make a snake draft?

[Joey Santigato]

Nope.

[Joe Gatto]

Do you have two left or just.

[Joey Santigato]

I have to.

[Frankie]

Oh, okay.

[Joe Gatto]

So then why. Yeah, why don't you, you, you me. You me, you me do that? Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

So my. Another one I have is the green frog wearing glasses from the Rainforest Cafe.

[Joe Gatto]

This dude loves.

[Frankie]

This tree is so you, dude.

[Joe Gatto]

This is so you. That's a good.

[Joey Santigato]

There's a big Joe in here.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, that's. That's, that's not you. It is by ratio, kind of more Joe than him.

[Joey Santigato]

I'm trying to catch up to how much Joe.

[Frankie]

This tree, you should put it over his face.

[Joey Santigato]

No, it's too big.

[Ant]

Yeah, put it up here, dude.

[Joe Gatto]

Can I ask you where did this obsession with the Rainforest Cafe come from?

[Frankie]

How did that start?

[Joey Santigato]

Hmm. It's a good question. Probably circa 2004.

[Frankie]

Circa is crazy, dude. Just tell us that.

[Joey Santigato]

Circa the animal kingdom and Disney, we would always eat at the Rainforest Cafe.

[Frankie]

There's a Rainforest Cafe there?

[Joe Gatto]

Yep.

[Joey Santigato]

Was still there. We go all the time. Not all the time.

[Joe Gatto]

Is there food?

[Joey Santigato]

It's good enough.

[Joe Gatto]

What does that mean?

[Joey Santigato]

The atmosphere is fun.

[Joe Gatto]

You're in the atmosphere is what you go for. The animatronic rubber.

[Frankie]

Would you ever go to like an actual rainforest?

[Joe Gatto]

Does that?

[Joey Santigato]

No.

[Frankie]

No way. You Just like the cat.

[Joey Santigato]

I got my fill at the cafe.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, rainforests are terrifying.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, they're very scary.

[Joe Gatto]

I would. I. That would not be fun to go to.

[Frankie]

Do you like nature?

[Joey Santigato]

Nope.

[Ant]

So what about it is appealing?

[Joe Gatto]

He loves that.

[Joey Santigato]

It's nature adjacent.

[Joe Gatto]

It is by definition. Absolutely not.

[Joey Santigato]

I also love an outdoor indoor. Love an outdoor indoor.

[Frankie]

What does that mean?

[Joey Santigato]

An indoor that looks like outdoor.

[Frankie]

Oh, like a tree inside a restaurant.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah. An indoor outdoor.

[Joe Gatto]

Dude, you would have loved. I built a restaurant with my dad once that was based off of a garbage dump. You would have loved it.

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

Built a restaurant.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

My dad used to do that shit all the time. Now he can't because his knees look like SpaghettiOs.

[Frankie]

His dad worked construction.

[Joey Santigato]

Got it.

[Joe Gatto]

But, like, making it seem like him.

[Frankie]

And his dad Hammer, nailed this restaurant together.

[Ant]

Which didn't happen.

[Joe Gatto]

No, that is exactly what happened.

[Ant]

You and your dad.

[Joe Gatto]

Yes.

[Frankie]

I know there was more people involved.

[Joe Gatto]

Of course there were more people, but, like, we did most of it.

[Frankie]

Well, I'm saying I think there's a construction company.

[Joe Gatto]

No, my dad, like, was, like. It was a not big crew because my dad was doing it on the side. Like.

It'S in.

[Ant]

Is it still around?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Is it still there?

[Frankie]

On Steinway?

[Joe Gatto]

If anyone lives in Astoria or visits Astoria, Steinway and Broadway. Right. That's the corner right there.

[Frankie]

Have you been there? I've never been in there.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh. I've eaten there several times. It's good.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, it's good Colombian food. Go and touch the walls. My dad and I built that. Chances are if you touch the walls. Go and touch the walls, you're touching 2005. Frank's hands, and they were huge, dude. Oh, the biggest hands. Big hands, dude. Just big, fat hands. Yeah. Non dainty, right? Really, really meaty hands.

[Frankie]

All right. What do you got?

[Joe Gatto]

I got. I think you're gonna like this one. I have a love for Christmas. I also have a love for Star wars, so that's why I got Santa stuck in the carbonite. And that's pretty cool. It's like from. From Return of the Jedi and the Vampire Strikes Back. You see? You know what happens. Of course. You know, Han Solo, I love you. I know.

[Frankie]

I used to love watching his face, like, when it's, like, melting or whatever.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. I was like, oh, that's so cool. I love when Princess Leia would, like, get dressed up in, like, in Return of the Jedi, and she'd be like.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

I remember exactly how she sounded. But you know what? I'm Saying, I know. So it's. It's him. If you guys don't know Star wars, get to it.

[Frankie]

Watch the original trilogy.

[Joe Gatto]

Let me tell you. Don't listen to, like, Fox News. Talk about it. Just watch it for yourself.

[Frankie]

I really feel like people who go back and watch stuff like Star wars, but, like, I'm gonna watch it in the actual order. I'm like, that sucks.

[Joe Gatto]

So that's a real, like, topic of, like, contention that I recently went through, because Miles and I started watching it last year.

[Frankie]

Star Wars.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. What if you were to show your child. Yeah, little walrus.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Wants to watch Star Wars, Daddy, show me Star Wars. What is the. What is the order at which you're showing them?

[Frankie]

The order in which they came out?

[Joe Gatto]

Really?

[Frankie]

I think there is a magic to, like, oh, this is. This is a prequel. Like, that adds something, you know, like, there's, like, callbacks there, but you don't get any of that if you just watch it. Like, you're gonna start at, like, what? The Attack of the Clones movie sucks.

[Joe Gatto]

By the way, Phantom Menace is the first one canonically, actually. Rogue One.

Yeah.

[Frankie]

But, like, you would start with Rogue One.

[Ant]

That's bananas.

[Frankie]

Sorry.

[Joe Gatto]

Rogue One is not canonically. I. I'm so sorry.

[Frankie]

I mean, yeah, it can't be.

[Ant]

But, like, whatever it is, it's like, that.

[Frankie]

That would be so stupid to do.

[Joe Gatto]

So what a lot of people do. And I was thinking this might be the way that I. So we started with one, and then we went to two, and then we went to three. What is one Phantom Menace. You did do this, so we did that. However, I think re in revisiting them. I've thought more about it. We'll do what people do. Is 4, 5.

[Frankie]

I don't know the numbers.

[Joe Gatto]

4 is New Hope. 5 is Empire Strikes Back, and then they do 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9.

[Frankie]

I would just watch a minute. What's the point of doing that?

[Joe Gatto]

Because, I mean, if you watch 1, 2, and 3, it spoils a big part of a big reveal.

[Joey Santigato]

Wait, so you make all of the original ones prequels?

[Joe Gatto]

No. So you watch four, and then five, and then you go back and watch Phantom Menace.

[Frankie]

Four and five are one and two.

[Joey Santigato]

You got to give titles, right?

[Joe Gatto]

New hope. Yeah, but new hope is one is Episode four. No, it's Episode four. It's the first one that came out.

[Frankie]

This is what I'm saying.

[Joe Gatto]

What's the one that came out with Rey789.

[Joey Santigato]

Got it.

[Joe Gatto]

Force Awakens. New.

Force Awakens. Last Jedi And Last sky or First Skywalker turn up. Not good.

[Frankie]

I don't care.

[Joe Gatto]

But I think it kind of ruins one of the big reveals. If you watch one. If you do 4, 5, 6, like, it resonates better. And then. I don't know.

[Frankie]

I don't think it ruins anything. I mean, they. They put it out that way so everyone. Everyone knew going in.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, they didn't put it out that way with the hindsight. Like, they did it and they were just like, let's make prequels now.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I can't grab the ornament.

[Joe Gatto]

I just.

[Frankie]

I like. I don't know. I just.

[Joe Gatto]

Okay. All right. Well, that's my. That's my.

[Frankie]

It's like that story is too all over the place.

[Joe Gatto]

It's gotten a little out of hand.

[Frankie]

Do I go?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, I go, your last one?

[Frankie]

Yeah, my last one.

[Ant]

And, you know, I don't know.

[Frankie]

It's Nicholas Cage again.

[Ant]

What's going on? It's just a flat.

[Frankie]

Nicholas Cage.

[Joe Gatto]

What is going. Why do you have several Nicholas Cage ornaments?

[Frankie]

You know, I. As I'm staring at it, this is actually freaking me out. I don't know why. I don't even. I'm not even a huge Nicholas Cage fan, per se.

[Joe Gatto]

I think if you. If you. If you like the bird, you like the cage. You know what I'm saying?

[Frankie]

Nope.

[Joe Gatto]

So how and why Nicholas Cage?

[Frankie]

I just think it's funny. It reminds me of the Nickelodeon Remember face.

[Joe Gatto]

Didn't you have that Nicholas Cage pillow back in the day?

[Frankie]

That was a gift. I did have it.

[Ant]

What the is happening? What is going on with you? Who gave me that?

[Joe Gatto]

Do you have, like, a spiritual connection to Nicholas? Nicholas Cage?

[Frankie]

I don't. I think Joey Gotto got that for me. Dude, it was like, sequence, and you. It looked like whatever, then you would go like this. And then it was Nicholas Cage.

[Joe Gatto]

What if. Hear me out and we can make this happen. We just did msg.

What if we got Nicholas Cage on an episode and he just sits down with us and we give him things to read in his best. Nicholas Cage. You mean just his voice, like, but, like, he has to give it the full go? You know what I mean?

[Frankie]

I'd rather have Mikey Boobs up here singing.

[Joe Gatto]

What if we got Boobs singing to Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage is just acting out?

[Frankie]

Yeah. I mean, you haven't thought about it.

[Joe Gatto]

I haven't. You understand? It's in the infancy. It's in its early infancy.

[Ant]

I'm working it out.

[Joe Gatto]

I'm working it out real Time here, baby.

[Joey Santigato]

All right. It's not. You said it's not impractical. Jokers. Joe Gato.

[Frankie]

No, no, my friend.

[Joey Santigato]

Oh, Joey got. Yeah, yeah, got it.

[Joe Gatto]

I had that at first, too, to be honest. But Joey got us because, you know.

[Joey Santigato]

I don't know who he knows. He knows everybody.

[Frankie]

No, I does.

[Joe Gatto]

He's big. He's big. He's breaking out. You saw he was in, like, a fashion magazine.

[Frankie]

What?

[Joey Santigato]

Him?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, they were gooning over him.

[Frankie]

You're really pushing the goonin.

[Joe Gatto]

No, there was like a fashion thing where it was just like, look. Look at Joe Santigato. I wasn't in it, by the way.

[Frankie]

No gooning.

[Joe Gatto]

All right, my last or ornament here again.

[Ant]

Why are we.

[Frankie]

Right.

[Joe Gatto]

Allowing big Christmas to dictate what is and is not an ornament.

[Frankie]

Well, this is gonna be. Just.

[Ant]

Who are we?

[Joe Gatto]

Okay. This thing. I don't know if you guys feel this way. My trees are supposed to be representative of me.

[Frankie]

We know that. You know why?

[Joe Gatto]

My childlike wonder.

[Frankie]

You said that.

[Joe Gatto]

Imagination.

[Frankie]

Right. Joy. Right.

[Joe Gatto]

Humble beginnings.

[Frankie]

More adjectives.

[Joe Gatto]

So that's why my last ornament is a boxed copy of Super Mario 64. Well, what are we doing from the Nintendo 64? Okay, I think now we're getting crazy.

[Ant]

Why?

[Joe Gatto]

How.

[Frankie]

Now we're getting crazy.

[Joe Gatto]

Why is this getting crazy? You allowed Jeff Hardy, but. But an Italian plumber from Brooklyn you don't like.

[Frankie]

Is he from Brooklyn?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Is that true?

[Joe Gatto]

Yes.

[Joey Santigato]

Well, I like that.

I like that part.

[Joe Gatto]

This is a relic of the past. This was released with the United States version of the Nintendo 60.

[Frankie]

This feels like you just want to tell people. Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

I've always publicized that. I have this. This is not new.

[Frankie]

How much was that?

[Joe Gatto]

Well, I bought it. I bought it several, several years ago at a steal because this is not its price. Now I got it for $44.

[Frankie]

What is it now?

[Joe Gatto]

You think It's a couple hundred bucks.

[Frankie]

Really?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

So you paid $44 for that ornament and you're judging me on mine?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

Crazy.

[Frankie]

Well, his isn't an ornament.

[Joey Santigato]

Right.

[Frankie]

And yours is.

[Joey Santigato]

That's the.

[Frankie]

So that's.

[Joey Santigato]

That's the.

[Frankie]

Wow, that's good. Yep. Now, what happens if that falls down and breaks?

[Joe Gatto]

It's not in mint condition, so I'm not really that upset about it.

[Frankie]

It won't be in any condition if.

[Joe Gatto]

It falls down and breaks.

[Frankie]

Have you ever. Have you opened it and played it?

[Joe Gatto]

No, I have not. It is an open copy, though. And it's. It's not in great condition. There's some tears on the edges and stuff like that.

[Ant]

But it's just cool to have.

[Joey Santigato]

I don't care.

[Joe Gatto]

But again, when you look at the street, you go, that's Frank, baby.

[Joey Santigato]

Can we.

[Frankie]

Did you just hear that?

[Joey Santigato]

Yeah. That was terrible.

[Frankie]

That was my throat.

[Joe Gatto]

What did it do?

[Joey Santigato]

I think I like bark. Only I could have heard it.

[Frankie]

That was insane.

[Ant]

This was crazy. I just like bar.

I wanted to say barked, but I almost said barfed, but I wanted to say roared.

[Joe Gatto]

You should roar.

[Frankie]

I don't know what's going on.

[Joey Santigato]

Is it possible to tilt that box, like, down a little bit? I'm getting a lot of reflection here. It's very shiny box.

[Frankie]

It's very shiny box.

[Joey Santigato]

That's much better, actually.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Joe Gatto]

I think it's. It's again, when someone looks at my tree, they're gonna say, wow, this is someone that is connected to their humble beginnings. You love doing establishes a childlike wonder and maintains it and is a lover of things.

[Frankie]

Yeah, that's right. They're gonna say, what do you got?

[Joey Santigato]

I think to round off my tree. That is so clearly me.

[Frankie]

Right?

[Joey Santigato]

It would be remiss to not add a. I have a Picky Boys logo ornament.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God.

[Ant]

He's using it as a cheap plug for his podcast.

[Joe Gatto]

That's fucking.

[Frankie]

Absolutely.

[Joey Santigato]

It's Christmas themed, though.

[Joe Gatto]

That's how you know this is.

[Ant]

This is.

[Joe Gatto]

This is.

[Ant]

Let me guess. You sell it in a merch store.

[Joey Santigato]

No, this one's one of one.

[Joe Gatto]

This is a monster of our own making, though. If we had just let him plug his shows one time, this wouldn't have happened.

[Joey Santigato]

I have to find ways he left.

[Frankie]

A perfect space in the front of the trees that it would open.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, this kid, he knows marketing. Good for you.

[Ant]

You know what?

[Joe Gatto]

Good for you. We'll let you keep it for this episode only, bitch.

I think. How much did you spend on that?

[Joey Santigato]

Probably about 33 bucks, bro.

[Ant]

This is the most expensive tree.

[Joey Santigato]

No, I'm kidding. It's like 12 bucks.

[Joe Gatto]

I didn't even think of that. Trees are exp. Like, once you, like, put all the ornaments and lights on them, they're like, they could be like $500 more than that.

[Frankie]

I mean, I have a fake tree, so it was more than that.

[Joe Gatto]

How expensive was your fake tree? It was a lot.

[Joey Santigato]

Really?

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

I think Balsam Hill. No big deal.

[Joe Gatto]

No big deal.

Spend it if you got it, baby. Hey, you're not gonna look back and worry about that purchase.

[Frankie]

Balsam Hill Yeah.

[Ant]

Oh, no.

[Frankie]

But yeah, I think it was like 800 bucks, which is crazy for a tree.

[Joe Gatto]

I dropped my game.

[Frankie]

I know.

[Joe Gatto]

I gotta get it.

[Frankie]

I don't have a lot of. I guess I have a decent amount of like we have. We have a lot of like filler ornaments too. Yep, yep.

[Joey Santigato]

It's good.

[Frankie]

This is the issue with putting a whole box on a tree.

[Joey Santigato]

I feel like my tree looks beautiful.

[Frankie]

It does. Yours is covered, man.

[Joey Santigato]

It's a wonderful tree. A little less space to cover, that's why.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah.

[Joey Santigato]

And I got you right in the middle.

[Frankie]

I appreciate that. I. I don't know how I feel about being a mermaid.

[Joe Gatto]

Don't around you love the idea of being a mermaid in life. I would like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frankie]

But not merman.

[Joe Gatto]

A shirtless one you're not into.

[Frankie]

Well, you got to be shirtless. I can't wear a shirt in the pool. Pool in the ocean. I mean, what? Dude, imagine mermaids were real. That'd be fire.

[Joe Gatto]

What was that movie where that kid slowly Little Mermaid. You think I forgot the Little Mermaid? What do you think I was going to say? What was that Disney movie where the kid like slowly turned into or someone slowly turned into a mermaid or something?

[Ant]

Oh yeah. What the is that?

[Joey Santigato]

Could just be called Mermaids Splash. Oh, that's it. I remember.

[Joe Gatto]

That's not a Disney movie. That's a Ron Howard movie. That's a full on movie movie.

[Frankie]

I thought of L. Ron Hubbard when you said that. I said what?

[Joe Gatto]

I don't watch L. Ron Hubbard movies. Joey. We should probably be careful about bringing their Lord's name up. Yeah, because they'll be upset. Yeah.

[Frankie]

You know what that reminded me of? Like the movie that you're just talking about. Remember those like weird Disney movies. The one that always stuck out to me was Luck of the Irish.

I look like him.

[Joe Gatto]

You looked like him as a little as a kid.

[Frankie]

No, I didn't.

[Ant]

Yeah, you did.

[Frankie]

But he also. His hair just started to get really red. Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, he full on started turning into. Yeah, that dude. You're telling me you didn't kind of look like this kid?

[Frankie]

Nah, bro, come on. Give me a break.

[Joe Gatto]

You had the frosted tips and everything.

[Frankie]

Oh, and look at that. I never had frosted tips. I wish.

[Joe Gatto]

I remember Eddie's Million Dollar Cook Off.

[Frankie]

What was the Smart House?

[Joe Gatto]

Smart House was a good one.

[Frankie]

It like. I always remember that the scene in that movie where they had a party and then the floor just like sucked up all the garbage and it was like, oh, it's Clean house now.

[Joe Gatto]

I was like, damn, that would be nice. What was the one? There was also the one where the girls.

[Joey Santigato]

The.

[Joe Gatto]

The twin sisters play basketball.

Have you seen? Have you seen. That's why I'm doing that. Have you seen the clip from it that has, like, circulated because of how bad it was done? Dude, it's painful to watch.

[Frankie]

Is it another thing, like, we hired actors that can't play basketball.

[Joe Gatto]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Disney movies had some bangers back in the day. I mean, we were open lovers of High School Musical and Cheetah Girls. Cheetah Sisters.

[Ant]

Cheetah sisters.

[Frankie]

Lizzie McGuire banger. It's a banger. I didn't say I want a banger. I. I don't know why that's. Like, I felt the need to.

[Ant]

We understood.

[Joe Gatto]

No, no, no, no.

[Ant]

We understood what you were.

[Frankie]

I want to banger.

[Ant]

Like, that's not what I.

[Joe Gatto]

She's coming out with new music. But by the way, Hillary Duff.

[Frankie]

Perfect.

[Joe Gatto]

If Hillary Duff does a Christmas album.

[Ant]

Dude, didn't Disney do a Christmas album?

[Frankie]

They probably did.

[Joey Santigato]

I'm sure.

[Joe Gatto]

Look that up.

[Frankie]

They were working, those children.

[Joey Santigato]

Look up Disney. What?

[Joe Gatto]

Look up Disney star Christmas album.

[Joey Santigato]

I have.

[Joe Gatto]

I. I wonder what it could be like. It's like Corbin Blue singing Blue Christmas. That would be incredible. But now that I said it out.

[Frankie]

Loud, I don't know about incredible.

[Ant]

I have a blue Christmas.

[Joe Gatto]

That's my Corbin blue impression.

[Joey Santigato]

Disney 2000s holidays. No, Disney Channel holiday hits 2016. A bunch of the stars did a short EP November 18th.

[Joe Gatto]

Don't care about that. I want to hear, like, the girl from Proud Family doing. You know, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

[Frankie]

Isn't that Raven Simone?

[Joe Gatto]

No, I forgot her name. Kira. I can't remember. Raven Simone was from.

[Joey Santigato]

That's a Raven.

[Joe Gatto]

That's a Raven.

[Frankie]

I thought Raven Simone was on that show too.

[Joe Gatto]

No, she was on.

[Joey Santigato]

She was.

[Joe Gatto]

She was a Cosby Show.

[Joey Santigato]

She was Stephanie on the Proud Family. She was on that show.

[Joe Gatto]

Really? Yep. It was animated, though, so there's no.

[Ant]

Way you knew it was anamomorphic. Dude, I knew it.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Joe Gatto]

As I remember, we'd be watching Disney Channel, there'd be like those, like, Christmas. Like, the commercials would be like them singing a Christmas song.

[Frankie]

Yeah, but it'd be like selling a CD or something.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah. Good times, kids.

[Joey Santigato]

Bob.

[Frankie]

Dude, who are these kids?

[Joe Gatto]

I don't know. I have. I. Can I just really quick say? Sure. My tree's the best. I know it's not a competition, but with you guys, it always is.

[Frankie]

I feel like mine is not, is not good. Like, there's a lot of Nicholas Cage.

[Joe Gatto]

I mean, two is a lot, if we're being honest.

[Frankie]

This is cute. This is the cutest we have everywhere. The Barney one might be cuter again. Well, that's the problem. See, if you don't follow the rules, there's consequences, Frank.

[Joey Santigato]

I don't want to be this guy. My tree blue size. Good things come in small packages is what I proved here today.

[Frankie]

Your tree blue.

[Joey Santigato]

You guys out of the water.

[Frankie]

Oh, I don't know about all that. Oh, I think that you could have possibly. It's, it's like you got, you got it there, which is a different holiday.

[Joe Gatto]

Yeah, that's true.

I, I, I think that you have a good tree.

[Frankie]

It's good tree.

[Joe Gatto]

It's nowhere near the quality of mine.

[Frankie]

Frank barely followed the rules.

I thought he was gonna pull out, like, food or something and put it on there.

[Joe Gatto]

You know what's funny?

[Frankie]

Like an actual pickle.

[Joe Gatto]

You know what's funny is I was on the drive in looking for a hot dog stand, and I was gonna bring a full actual hot dog.

[Frankie]

We. That wouldn't have lasted on your tree. Yeah, what if I would have walked over and ate it?

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, really? Yeah, that would have been yummy.

[Ant]

That would have been yummy.

[Frankie]

Well, there you have it, folks. It's a very merry Christmas. Christmas season's officially here. Wanted to decorate our trees because the trees are staying for, for December. All right? So thank you so much to everyone. You know, this year we're feeling very thankful and grateful, but it's the Christmas season. Trying to get some joyous memories with your families. All right.

[Joey Santigato]

Oh, I actually do have one more for you, if you want.

[Frankie]

What is that?

[Joey Santigato]

Here, it's for you.

[Frankie]

I already, I saw what it was in the air. It's a. You know that meme with the guy with a giant dick?

[Joe Gatto]

That's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh.

You can't show that.

[Frankie]

Well, here it is.

[Joe Gatto]

Why, why did you have that? Like, you spent money on that, too, didn't you?

[Joey Santigato]

That was 12 bucks.

[Joe Gatto]

Well, now Joey's has a lot of phallic imagery. By the way, the Cheeto, the hot dog.

[Frankie]

At this point, I'll take anything that is a Nicholas Cage.

[Joe Gatto]

You got it. If anything could be more of the opposite of Nicolas Cage, it's that.

I also, I have one more thing, if I could.

[Frankie]

What's going on? You sneaky, sneaky ornament. Guys.

[Joe Gatto]

Oh, got it.

[Frankie]

Okay. All right. All right. Well, and a very merry Christmas to you guys, too. And holidays. Happy holidays. They almost got me just now. You got to throw the holidays in.

[Joey Santigato]

You got him so good.

[Frankie]

So good.

[Joe Gatto]

I've been gotten Chris Mahana kwanzaka for whatever you celebrate.

[Frankie]

How about that? Sure. Where can they find you?

[Joey Santigato]

Ant, I'm not getting this one.

[Ant]

No, you are not. Just look at. See you guys next time.