The Basement Yard – Episode #535: The 2025 YARDIE AWARDS
Podcast Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Presented by: Santagato Studios
Release Date: December 29, 2025
Episode Overview
In this lively and irreverent special, Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez, and guest host/producer Ant Prisco gather for the sixth annual “Yardie Awards”—a comedic, tongue-in-cheek celebration of the people, moments, and absurdities that defined 2025. This episode celebrates the podcast's signature blend of banter, inside jokes, and cultural commentary, with Ant stepping in to emcee the festivities.
Amid champagne pops and roasts, the trio debates each award category, with Ant presiding as judge. The show’s tone is rowdy, self-effacing, and heartfelt; it celebrates The Basement Yard’s growth, as well as the loyal “Piggies” (fans) who made it all possible.
Key Segments & Discussion Points
1. Kicking Off the Yardie Awards
- [01:21] Festive mood as the team opens a (possibly ancient) bottle of Moet to ring in the awards.
- Joe and Frank rib each other about “regal” entrances and the questionable origins of their champagne.
- Ant is introduced as the first official host, cranking up the show’s playful energy.
“Welcome back to the sixth annual Yardie Awards. I mean, come on, folks, look at us. Round of applause for us. Me. Mostly me. And us.” – Frank [01:21]
2. Ant’s Monologue 🔥
- [05:27 – 15:24] Ant brings the absurd: fake personas, running gags ("fat dick thick daddy"), and bold humor.
- He sets ground rules: Joe and Frank each present nominees, argue their case, and Ant picks a winner.
- Running bits about inclusivity, circumcision, and being “unbiased and uncircumcised.”
- Recap of 2025’s "craziness," cultural trends (Chinese mothership drones, TikTok, Elon Musk's "fall"), and Ant stepping up as producer.
“Your favorite gagger gagged his way into this role. And I don't plan to come up for air anytime soon.” – Ant [05:55]
“This year we decided there needs to be a clear winner. So the boys will give their nominee and then tell us why they think their nominee should win. My job here is to be unbiased and uncircumcised.” – Ant [09:19]
3. Categories, Nominees & Hilarious Debates 🏆
Below are the year’s major Yardie Awards:
1. Gagger of the Year
Something or someone that truly “gagged” (shocked) the hosts in 2025.
- Joe’s pick: The brothers in White Lotus' shocking, taboo scene.
- “Color me gagged, folks.” – Joe [18:33]
- Frank’s pick: Kendrick Lamar calling Drake a “pedophile” live at the Super Bowl halftime show—a legendary, public beef escalation.
- Ant’s verdict: Frank wins.
- [21:34] “...just on the sheer scale of the size of the Super Bowl, that the Gagger of the Year award has to go to Kendrick Lamar calling Drake...unbelievable.” – Ant
2. Landscaper of the Year
Who most needed to “touch grass”—aka get off the internet?
- Joe: The endless “100 men vs. one gorilla” online debate – “A gorilla is going to kill 100 men. You're definitely not going to take it down.”
- Frank: People crying on TikTok about the platform’s (possible) ban.
- “You can live life outside your phone...go outside, touch grass.” – Frank [24:58]
- Winner: Joe (for the gorilla debate).
- “I'm gonna have to give it—yeah...” – Ant [27:10]
3. Lifetime Bereavement Award
What died (person, thing, or concept) in 2025?
- Joe: Hulk Hogan (“who died in July”), with a savage dig at his legacy.
- Frank: Uncomfortable celebrity press junket interviews.
- Winner: Frank (for “killing off” the awkward press interview trend), with the caveat that if the trend returns, “I will eat a spoonful of the hottest hot sauce you could find.” [33:41]
4. COVID 2025 Award
The most viral moment or trend of the year.
- Joe: Ashton Hall’s “morning face plunge” trend—everyone plunging their faces into cold Saratoga water, brands and mascots joining in.
- Frank: The moment at a Coldplay concert when Chris Martin caught an “affair” on the jumbotron.
- Winner: Joe (the face plunge). “...that was probably the one thing...so viral that everyone and their mother knows about this.” [44:15]
5. I’m an Old Pathetic Fat Loser Award
What made the boys feel ancient in 2025?
- Joe: The viral “6, 7” meme. “It was definitely an indicator that I am no longer part of the younger generation that pushes culture.” – Joe [46:41]
- Frank: The “Labubu” craze—toys with no apparent virtue, reminiscent of Beanie Babies but “ugly...they do nothing.”
- Winner: Joe (for “6, 7”).
6. I’m Gonna Cut My Head Clean Off If I Hear This One More Time Award
Most relentless earworm or viral sound/saying.
- Joe: The ‘Jetsu holiday’ TikTok sound – “Every other video...now I'm forced to sit through this.”
- Frank: ‘Chicken Jackie’ from the Minecraft movie—ubiquitous in both digital and real worlds.
- Winner: Frank (“Chicken Jackie”—the Minecraft movie grossed ~$958M worldwide!) [52:23]
7. That’ll Wake Up Your Aunt Moment of the Year
A hidden gem or underdog performance that shocked everyone.
- Joe: The “Performative Male” – trendy men carrying tote bags, drinking matcha, “ironically tattered clothing.”
- Frank: Frank’s own basketball performance in Phoenix—unexpectedly dominant and impressive.
- Winner: Frank unanimously (even Joe surrenders!), calling it the “Basement Yard's Linsanity.” [57:04]
8. Will Smith Award
Lost credibility, kept making it worse.
- Both nominate: Sydney Sweeney, who “kept consistently making it worse” after a tone-deaf American Eagle campaign and awkward interviews.
- Tie, but awarded to Joe for answering first. [62:52]
9. Orange Phone Award (Comeback of the Year)
Best comeback or return.
- Joe: Justin Bieber’s "cool" resurgence—Gen-Z slang, new Twitch streaming, and “serving coded violence” to paparazzi: “It’s not clocking to you that I'm standing on business.”
- Frank: 50 Cent’s reignited “generational hater” energy—documentary on Diddy, buying Jim Jones’s podcast, relentless beefs.
- Winner: Joe (Bieber).
10. Big Roar Energy Award
Person/entity who commanded the most energy, attention, and presence in 2025.
- Joe: Taylor Swift—new album, personal milestones, continued cultural omnipresence.
- Frank: Timothée Chalamet—shaved head, rebranded persona, viral moments, embracing boldness: “He’s out there with a shaved head now...people think he's a mysterious London rapper.”
- Winner: Joe (Taylor Swift), after a hard-fought debate.
- “A whole tour. The album...she made money forcing me to hear about Travis Kelce’s penis.” – Ant [74:58]
Notable Quotes & Banter
- “It's the Yardies. What do you do, Z? All right. I'll be killed. Yeah, someone killed.” – Joe [15:40] (The spirit of chaos throughout)
- “Hands and balance is hilarious.” – Frank [13:16] (“How did you write that?”)
- “If you have content or you have a small business, you should be using Squarespace because they're the best.” – Joe [34:12] (on sponsorships)
- “You know, Taylor Swift—they said she bought back all of her masters...” – Joe [73:14]
- “Frank's basketball performance in Phoenix this year was great. We don't even know if something like that can be replicated.” – Joe [58:00]
- “If I had a grenade, it'd be live.” – Joe [44:51]
Memorable, Off-the-Rails Moments
- Ant’s Outrageous Monologue [05:27–15:24]—the “fat dick thick daddy” persona and deadpan reads (“Hold my hair back, Haley Welch. I'm gonna hawk to a all over this thing. You shmel. Free Diddy.”).
- Frank’s impassioned plea for his basketball experience as a category winner [55:51–57:11].
- “Aplomb” becomes the Word of the Day, used excessively and self-referentially [45:05, 78:51].
- Technical discussions about whether certain phenomena “died in 2025” or not (e.g., press junket awkwardness vs. Hulk Hogan’s death).
- Playful jabs at circumcision, internet virality, and generational divides.
- Champagne Mystery: “This is from probably nineteen one zero two.” [02:12]
- Roar Energy: Frank struggles to deliver an authentic roar for the audience [69:24–69:48].
Final Segment & Closing Remarks
- The show wraps with reflections on the Basement Yard’s growth, gratitude to fans, and optimism for 2026.
- Joe gives a heartfelt message—“...we moved into this space, had a new studio setup... you guys have been so supportive and haven't wavered at all... feels like the beginning of a next level.” [77:12–78:15]
- Frank, in semi-sincere mode, laments his losses, congratulates Joe, and muses that Chalamet was “robbed.” [76:31]
- Ending on absurdity, the hosts riff about Jewish and Chinese New Year, lipstick stains on champagne glasses, and “aplombless” drinking [79:01–80:23].
“We appreciate that so much and it's been so much fun... it feels like the beginning of a next level. So it feels like we’re just getting started.” – Joe [77:16]
Conclusion
Episode #535 of The Basement Yard delivers everything fans have come to expect: unfiltered humor, zany award-show antics, moments of surprising sincerity, and a whirlwind summary of a bizarre year. If you want an offbeat, hilarious replay of 2025 in internet and pop culture, this is the episode to hear.
Key Timestamps
- 01:21 – Award Show Introduction
- 05:27 – 15:24 – Ant’s Opening Monologue
- 16:31 – 77:09 – Main Award Debates (see above for individual timestamps)
- 77:12 – 80:23 – Closing Reflections, Farewell Toasts
Perfect for listeners who love pop culture, self-aware banter, chaotic comedy, and award shows with zero actual stakes but maximum laughs.