#536 - Baiting The Jonas Brothers

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard – Episode #536: "Baiting The Jonas Brothers"

Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Guest Contributor: Ant
Release Date: January 5, 2026

---

Episode Overview

The first Basement Yard of 2026 is a classic blend of comedic banter, nostalgic stories, and playful debates. The episode centers on Joe’s unexpected digital encounter with Joe Jonas, segueing into a hilarious master plan to “bait” the Jonas Brothers into appearing on the podcast. Along the way, Joe, Frank, and Ant debate everything from sword-fighting prowess to the superiority of cookies, discuss culinary mysteries like “ham juice,” and pitch their ultimate dream business: opening a BUC-EE’s gas station in NYC.

---

Episode Breakdown & Key Topics

1. Toy Swords & Delusions of Sword-Fighting Grandeur

(00:30–02:41)

• The trio opens with childlike excitement over plastic toy swords.
• Frank insists he’d be a great sword fighter, “based off nothing.”
• Joe jokes about sword sizes and plastic weapons, sparking classic friendly ribbing.

“Be honest, you’ve never thought that you had the skill of sword fighting. I really think I could be a good sword fighter.” – Frank (02:06)

---

2. Would You Write a Book?

(03:06–06:08)

• Joe reflects on being approached by William Morris reps about writing a book.
• They joke about what his autobiography would be called (“Young Irish Boy,” “How To Be A Salat,” “Hoes”).
• Frank claims he wouldn’t write, but could “produce” or “edit” a book.

“I wouldn’t be able to write it. I would be able to like produce it... What’s a book producer called? Publisher?” – Frank (05:48)

---

3. Joe Jonas TikTok “Bait”: The DM Move

(06:08–09:03)

• Joe recounts drunkenly DMing his phone number to Joe Jonas after the musician used Basement Yard audio on TikTok.
• The group debates proper etiquette when messaging celebrities (Frank advocates slow-play, Ant suggests acting indifferent).

“He followed me. I immediately DM’d him my phone number and nothing else.” – Joe (07:05)
“That is very forward. You took an approach shooting. Bang. Number. What’s up?” – Frank (07:24)

• Joe admits the next morning: “That was aggressive,” and wonders if Jonas even saw it.
• They riff on how to be more “Jonas Brothers safe” if they ever visit the show.

---

4. The Jonas Brothers “Promise Rings” & Relatability

(10:34–12:16)

• Discussion shifts to Jonas Brothers’ public personas, “promise rings,” and whether their wholesome image was authentic.
• Frank tries a Nick Jonas impression.

“That was Nick Jonas?” – Joe (11:01)
“I don’t think I can redo it.” – Frank (11:06)

---

5. How To Bait The Jonas Brothers Onto The Show

(12:22–16:24)

• The trio brainstorms strategies, including “reverse psychology” ("I don’t even want them on the show!") and “edging” – playfully withholding an invitation to increase their interest.
• Ultimately, they settle on a direct, heartfelt pitch.

“This is the Basement Yard’s official pitch. We are inviting—rolling out the red carpet—the JoBro… to come be on Basement Yard.” – Frank (16:42)

---

6. On Cookie Hierarchies, Cake, and Famous Amos

(20:33–24:58)

• Joe and Frank debate the best packaged cookies, from Chips Ahoy to Famous Amos and Keebler Elf.
• The discussion unravels into whether all cakes taste the same (“all cakes are cakes!”), leading to a deliberately absurd (and exasperating) philosophical moment.

"All cakes are the same. All cakes are the same, but they have a little difference." – Frank (24:58)
“It’s like books. If you’ve read one book, you’ve read them all.” – Ant (25:01)

---

7. Sensory Deprivation Tanks, Anxiety, and Sword Metaphors

(37:45–42:10)

• The group entertains sensory deprivation tanks. Joe and Frank share their “slight hallucinations,” prompting Frank’s irrational worries (e.g., “someone could fill the tank and drown me”).
• Frank reflects how scary massages and haircuts are because, “they could just grab a knife and stab you.”

---

8. The Pen, the Sword…and the Tongue?

(41:51–46:54)

• Frank claims, "The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both," confusing everyone.
• Attempts to prove it’s a real quote fail; Ant finds a Marcus Garvey variation (“the tongue is mightier than them both put together”), but not Frank’s exact “lick” version.
• Laughter ensues as the phrase becomes an in-joke and possible meme.

“But the tongue can lick them both.” – Frank (42:25)
“That doesn’t make sense.” – Joe (45:02)

---

9. Culinary Mysteries: The Ham Juice Saga

(51:54–59:06)

• The gang falls into a spirited debate about “ham juice” as served at holiday dinners.
• To settle it, Joe calls his mother, Liz, on air for her “juice” recipe (mustard, brown sugar, pineapple juice, ginger ale, pancake syrup).
• Liz describes it as a “glaze more like a gravy,” Frank recoils at the term “ham juice,” Joe insists on the term.

“If I said chicken juice, you’d be like, oh, hold on.” – Frank (54:18)
“I put mustard, a lot of brown sugar, pineapple juice, a little ginger ale, and pancake syrup.” – Liz (56:27)

---

10. Mustard Debates, Milk Alternatives, and Texas Barbecue

(60:11–66:46)

• Frank professes his aversion to mustard (except when hidden in dishes), baffling Joe.
• They debate milk alternatives and deride the taste of oat and almond milk.
• The trio reviews Texas barbecue, steaks, and the intensity of finance-bro steakhouse lunches.

---

11. Road Trip Legends: BUC-EE’s, Brisket, and Beaver Nuggets

(66:46–73:03)

• An extended ode to BUC-EE’s, the legendary Texas roadside gas station/market.
• They reminisce about brisket-and-egg breakfast, “beaver nuggets,” award-winning bathrooms, and brainstorm how to open a BUC-EE’s in NYC.
• Frank sketches a five-story BUC-EE’s skyscraper, complete with hotel rooms and a beaver-shaped rooftop pool.

“Let me introduce you to… BUC-EE’s of New York! It would be a city block!” – Frank (73:13)

---

12. New Year’s Resolutions, Charity Swear Jars & Bitch Count

(76:10–77:53)

• The group shares resolutions for 2026, including Frank’s plan to “call [Joe] a bitch less.”
• They create a charity swear-jar system ($10 for each offense).

“Every time you call him one on here, you owe him a hundred bucks.” – Ant (76:35)
“Ten bucks for every bitch. And then at the end of the year…” – Frank (76:40)

---

Notable Quotes & Playful Moments

• Joe’s DM strategy:
  “He followed me. I immediately DM’d him my phone number and nothing else.” – Joe (07:05)
• Frank’s swordfighter dream:
  “I really think I could be a good sword fighter.” – Frank (02:06)
• On fame etiquette:
  “You took an approach shooting. Bang. Number.” – Frank (07:24)
• On “cake is cake”:
  “All cakes are the same. All cakes are the same, but they have a little difference.” – Frank (24:58)
• On absurd inspirational quotes:
  “The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both.” – Frank (42:25)
• On BUC-EE’s:
  “It’s good food, reasonable prices, well paid employees, and a fat-ass wall of jerky…and a beaver.” – Frank (66:48)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sword Fighting Confessions: 02:06
• Joe DMs Joe Jonas: 07:05
• Jonas Brothers Promise Rings: 10:34
• “Baiting” the Jonas Brothers Plan: 16:42
• Cookie & Cake Breakdown: 20:33–24:58
• Ham Juice Explained by Joe’s Mom: 56:04
• Frank’s “Tongue Can Lick Them Both” Quote: 42:25
• BUC-EE’s Road Trip Rhapsody: 66:46–73:03
• Swear-Jar Resolutions: 76:10–77:53

---

Tone & Style

The episode is playful, fast-paced, and irreverently observational. Joe, Frank, and Ant are self-aware about their own circular debates and love to escalate mundane topics into performative comedy bits. The lack of filter (“the tongue can lick them both!”) and willingness to call each other out add to the authentic, buddy-at-the-bar feel.

---

For The Diehards & The Jonas Brothers

If you've ever wondered what happens when a viral TikTok moment leads to a podcast host recklessly DM'ing their idol—or if you just want to laugh about juice on ham and absurd motivational quotes—this Basement Yard episode hits all the right notes. And if the Jonas Brothers are listening? The invite is, officially, on the table.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Brooklyn Adams and I'm partnering with Abercrombie to tell you about the newest drop from their active brand. Your personal best YPB leggings are made with buttery soft fabrics that hug you in all the right places. And common Abercrombie's viral curve love fit designed to eliminate waist gap, paired with sports bras and super soft sweatshirts. It's activewear that supports every part of my busy lifestyle and gives me my best butt ever. Head into the new year feeling your personal best shop Active by Abercrombie in the app online and in stores.

[B]

Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to the. Frank's got a new toy. Let's see it again. Oh, you got some sparks there too.

[C]

Yeah, look at that. Look that at look. Don't ask me where this is from. By the way, the famous company klx. Cw. What is that? You're still holding it. You're still holding. You've defeated the purpose. You gotta do it again. You fucked up.

[B]

I didn't fuck anything up. I haven't actually.

[C]

Wait a sec. Why the hell is yours so big and mine? And also your sword's not on.

[B]

I'm just playing.

[C]

Your shit is smoking, brother. Wait, why is your smoking?

[B]

I don't know, Angry.

[C]

You have a cooler one. You have a big one too.

[B]

He's got the biggest one.

[C]

What the hell is that? It doesn't matter though, because I got the skills.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, be honest for a split second.

[B]

Can I be honest real quick? Before you. 33, 33, 29, 28.

[C]

He still fucked it up. He still it up.

[D]

That's a problem.

[C]

Speaking of up, can you give me that, please?

[D]

I can.

[C]

Can you get that for me, please, baby?

[B]

Still smoking. And now I'm scared.

[C]

I think it's supposed to smoke. It looks like it has a smoke hole. Oh, yo, your is. Oh, look at him. That was a crazy way to get down there, brother.

[B]

I think we all got a smoke hole.

[C]

Hold on, let me go back to a cool color.

[B]

Ooh, red. Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I really. Be honest, you've never thought that you had the skill of sword fighting. I really think I could be a good sword fighter.

[B]

Maybe when I was. I feel like I did. I was really into ninjas.

[C]

Like, yo, you know what? After this, after the cameras go off, let's do an actual sword fight. Like with those swords.

[D]

With these?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, they're. They're hard plastic. They will break, but, like, if someone came at me, you know, someone came at me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's pretty fucking good. I remember. Do you remember Keith? We were. This is getting annoying.

[B]

Well, no, I, I know where Keith, like, held up a cleaver from my mom's kitchen and was like, you're supposed to hold it like this.

[C]

You're supposed to hold it like this. Like he's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A ninja.

[B]

What are you doing, Keith?

[C]

Keith said that the most dangerous way to get someone with a knife was like that, brother. That, that way.

[B]

I feel like a stab is probably.

[C]

I feel like, rough. I, I, I do think, and this is based off of nothing, not one thing. I would be a good sword fighter. Right. Because it just seems like something you need a lot of.

[B]

What do you think you'd be bad at.

[C]

Writing a book?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You asked a real question.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[C]

You asked a real question, and you got a real.

[B]

You don't think you have anything interesting to say?

[C]

It's not even about saying something.

[B]

You want to know something, actually, and I don't. But when we were at the after party after msg, someone came up to me, and they're like, I.

[C]

I'm sorry. I just tried to put it back in while you were talking quietly, and it's just not going in.

[B]

Keep them separated.

[C]

Hold on.

[B]

Clearly there's some friction going on.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

But there was someone who came up to me. They were like, we work at W. Morris, and we W. Morse. We work at William Morris and we.

[C]

Work in the book W.B. mason, and we want you to write a book with our pens.

[B]

With the frog that CW no, but she was like, you guys, if you guys ever feel like writing a book. I was like, are you at the right place?

[C]

I think it's only a matter of time before you write a book.

[B]

What am I writing it about?

[C]

I think you'll definitely. And come on, Aunt Ant. Look at me, Aunt. And come on, get me here, Aunt.

[D]

And it'd be one of the few books I've read.

[B]

You'd read my book?

[D]

I'd read it.

[C]

What do you think it would be about?

[D]

Well, I don't know.

[B]

You. Me?

[C]

Yeah. I can. I could imagine. The chapters would be titled, like, you know, young Irish Boy, Chapter one.

[B]

Right. So this is why you wouldn't be going.

[C]

That's what you're Young Irish Boy. If you write a book, can I write the forward? I know Greg has already written books, and he's, he's obviously very good at it.

[D]

He's gonna ask Greg for first.

[C]

I imagine he'll ask, but Greg will write something like, you know, like when we think of icons of today's society, like, he'll write something actually good. I'll write something better. Like in a sense of fun from.

[D]

The basement Irish boy.

[C]

It would be like chapter one.

[B]

It'd be something about F1. It would be that I'm short.

[C]

Well, chapter like chapter one through five will be about like your childhood, your upbringing and everything. And then like chapter six will be like to start a YouTube. So it'll be called like how to be a salat.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Or like hoes.

[B]

Right. Also, am I writing the book now? Because you just said chapters one through six.

[C]

Well, chapters one through five would be about your life.

[B]

Uh huh.

[C]

You know, your chapter one. This is classic, you know, am I wrong here? I know books.

[B]

I mean you just said that you wouldn't be able to do it and now you're doing it.

[C]

No, no, I wouldn't be able to write it. I would be able to like produce it.

[B]

Produce.

[C]

What's a book producer called? Publisher.

[B]

Yeah, like, or an editor maybe.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Editor might be the thing. I would be able to edit your book from like a break it up like this type of way.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

Which is just like my swords fighting abilities based off of nothing.

[B]

Also, big moment in my life. Interacted with Joe Jonas on TikTok.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

There's a little bit more to that story that people don't know actually. So I had my secret Santa party. So I was drunk having it and I also was earlier that day at a Rangers game. So there were, there were drinks May had and made because I had them after they were made. But I go on my tick tock and someone tagged me in something. So I saw it and it was Joe Jonas and he was using one of our audios from the show. So I was like, oh, that's crazy. So I commented like, are we gonna hang out or whatever. I was driving care at this point. So then I like go back to my TikTok like an hour later or something and he replies yes, and follows me. What is my reaction? Mind you, I had just said I came from the Ranger game where they were flowing the drinks.

[C]

Well, you were drunk so he followed so obviously you had to send a DM.

[B]

He followed me. I immediately DM'd him my phone number and nothing else.

[C]

That's a lot of forward guy. That is very forward. You've come along. If you're watching this, that's on me, dude. Super aggressive. Which. Your phone number by the way. Which is.

[B]

Right. But I did do that, like, he immediately followed me.

[C]

I mean, I was like, bang. Number. What's up? Hold on. You are. You took an approach shooting. You stuck to it. Bang. You don't need a sword for this shot that you're shooting over here, baby. You went and you knew the right way to be about it was direct. Because I'm sure these big Hollywood types, people play games with them. Big Hollywood. You know, these big Hollywood types, people play games with them, and they're like, man, I would love, love to get our people to get us together, you know? And it's just like, nah, that. I'm Joe Jonas. I'm Joe Sanigato. Text me.

[B]

I. I literally just sent my phone number, and then the next morning, I remembered that I did that, so I went back to the dm and I was like, that was aggressive.

[C]

Was it? Like, he obviously didn't text you.

[B]

No. And I also. But I did. I, I. My second message him was that was aggressive, like, and then, like, that was it. But. And I don't even know if he's read it.

[C]

He hasn't. Okay.

[B]

There's been no contact, but there will be.

[C]

I mean, can you imagine? You just get a text, it's like, yo, what's up? It's Joe Jonas.

[B]

That'd be so funny. I actually would text him back and be like, all right, now crazier than me.

[C]

Yeah, now you're no me. Yeah, now you're a little crazy. I mean, the Jonas Brothers are in their, you know, they're a new era, very playful era where they're just kind of getting after it on social media. They're on tour, the job, you know, So I think it would make sense if they're doubling down on it being relatable, fun guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I think if we're being honest, I probably have more in line and, And. And. And more. What's the word I'm looking for here in common with the Jonas Brothers than you?

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I mean, you're. You were not a Disney kid growing up.

[B]

What?

[C]

I used to watch Disney Channel like it was going out of style.

[B]

How do you know that? I didn't do that.

[C]

Did you watch Camp Rock?

[B]

No.

[C]

There we go. That's how I know. I at one point had a haircut more similar to the Jonas Brothers than you did.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I could sing my ass off.

[B]

Did any of it?

[C]

Well, no. Nick buzzed his head once when he was older. And when you buzzed your head. Ironic. I think not. That'll be a chapter in. Yeah, I don't think The Jonas Brothers ever wore double breasted button up shirts for Easter.

[B]

Well, the thing is, I'm a visionary. I also, I also wore a belt that day there.

[C]

I mean, you pull a picture up.

[B]

I, I don't. I can't like, access it immediately, but there is a photo of me that I think my mom took. Double breasted, white T shirt, tucked into a pair of jeans, and I'm wearing a belt that looks like Santa Claus would wear.

[C]

Wearing.

[B]

Yeah, it was like a big black belt buckle and it was just like a square. And I'm like, what the am I.

[C]

You were a visionary. All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I should have been visioning.

[B]

Myself down the barrel of a gun. Too much.

[C]

Too crazy much. A lot of much, man.

[B]

I'm shooting.

[C]

I mean, Joe Jonas. We're trying to get Joe Jonas on here. Not that kind of talk that's gonna get the Joe Bros to come hang out with us. I mean, come on.

[D]

Listen.

[C]

Yeah, all right, so what could we do to make our show more Jonas Brothers safe and fun?

[B]

Safe. Yeah, Because I don't think we're not safe.

[C]

I think we're pretty safe. But I'm saying, like, we got to remain. We gotta remember these are the Joe Bros. You know, These are the. I would. I'll tell you right now, I'll ask a lot about the. The promise rings. Yeah, I'm asking a ton about the promise. Come on.

[B]

Those are for show.

[C]

Those are. I think they've outright said, like, those were for show. I think came out and he was like, yeah, I think like, any of those were real.

[B]

Who's that? Whose voice is that? Who was that, by the way?

[C]

That was Nick Jonas.

[B]

That was Nick Jonas?

[C]

I think.

[B]

So do his voice again.

[C]

I don't think I can redo it.

[B]

Oh, I think, I mean.

[C]

All right, all right, give me. Ask me a question as an interviewer. I'll be Nick Jonas.

[B]

So we see that you guys are wearing promise rings. What's that about?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I like none of the, like, promise rings Real.

[B]

And, And I. And listen, Nick, that was him. That wasn't me.

[C]

Well, you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Decided to be too forward with Joe Jonas, which I would never do. Joe, by the way. That's.

[B]

I took a shot and it is what it is.

[C]

Shoot for the clouds laying amongst the stars. Is that what they say?

[B]

Nope, it's the opposite.

[C]

Okay, whatever.

[B]

Or you shoot for the sun. Shoot for the moon.

[C]

Shoot for the moon. Land amongst the stars.

[B]

Aren't the stars further away?

[C]

I think they're a lot Further away. Shoot for the stars and land amongst the clouds.

[B]

That's actually a good concept.

[C]

You're not very far, now that I think about it.

[B]

Do you know what it is?

[D]

You shoot for the stars, Land on the moon. Something like that.

[C]

Wait, why?

[B]

You're in the same boat as us. You said it so definitively. We don't know either.

[C]

Why would I want to land on the moon? It's a nothing. Dust, rock.

[D]

Yeah, it's high up.

[C]

Yeah, but the stars are higher.

[B]

Way higher.

[C]

Yeah. Come on, brother. What are you talking about? I think we can make this. Us, more palatable for the Jonas Brothers. So let's start again. So I'll be Joe Jonas.

[B]

How do you think this is gonna go?

[C]

I'll be Joe Jonas. And you're gonna work through the appropriate way to approach because you clearly went in a bit of an aggressive route.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you need to read. We're just two guys hanging out. Well, you're not just two guys. That's Joe Jonas. That's Joe, bro. That's burning up, bro.

[B]

He's a guy from New Jersey.

[C]

That's Dnce.

[B]

They're from New Jersey. Right.

[C]

Cake by the ocean.

[B]

You know, Cake by the ocean.

[C]

They are from New Jersey. That's right. So I. I got more in line with the Jonas Brothers again than you because I live in New Jersey now.

[B]

This isn't a competition, Frank. Hey. Right.

[C]

It's not.

[B]

Where are you?

[D]

I think you're playing it wrong. I would play it as. I don't even want them on the show.

[B]

Tell us.

[C]

Tell us.

[D]

Yeah, I don't even want.

[C]

How many.

[D]

Can I ask you something?

[C]

How many times have you spoken to Joe Jonas on social media? Only one of us has Joe Broad. Let's get that out of the way.

[D]

Phone number.

[C]

He did. I. I said that was incorrect.

[B]

It was.

[C]

It was a choice. I made a decision. So I'll be Joe Jonas. You be you. Okay. And we're gonna work out the appropriate way to approach.

[B]

One second. What were you gonna say? What's the appropriate thing to do?

[D]

I was just. I don't even want them here. I don't even want them to come on the show.

[B]

So how are we gonna get him on the show if that's your attitude?

[C]

Because he wants to, like bait that he wants to. Oh, this is what he likes. He likes to edge people. You want to like Joe.

[B]

You want to.

[C]

You want to Joe probate them? You want to edge the Jonas Brothers, huh? You want to.

[B]

So I should be like, oh, yes.

[C]

What I Yeah, I mean, just don't even follow, really. Oh, see, I'm not built like that. I'm not built to be that cool like you guys. I would just be like, first of.

[B]

All, I did the opposite.

[C]

So.

[D]

You know what you did do that. You know what you did do, though? You shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars.

[C]

No, you won't. That's not how.

[B]

That's so space works.

[C]

I know.

[B]

That's what.

[C]

There are no stars between us and the moon.

[D]

Neil Armstrong.

[B]

Neil said that.

[C]

What does he know? Neil should know better. He's been there. Yeah. He knows there's no stars. He's getting up there in age. Is he even so alive, this guy?

[B]

Neil's got to be down in the ground. No.

[D]

Oh, sorry. No. Neil said shoot for the stars, but if you happen to miss, shoot for the moon instead.

[B]

That's even dumber.

[C]

I mean, if you shoot in one direction, you can hit both potentially.

[D]

Oh, and the cloud thing. That was Kanye take. Oh, you've been following him.

[C]

What was that?

[B]

Wait, what was that?

[D]

For the stars. So if you fall. Land on a cloud. That was what you said.

[C]

I didn't say anything.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's from a song following Kanye.

[B]

That's a Kanye song.

[D]

I didn't.

[B]

That was awesome.

[C]

Joey said that one Platform him. I'm going to remove the platform for now. Can we do this now? Can I be Joe Jonas again?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what you're trying to do.

[C]

I'm gonna be Joe Jonas. I'm gonna say out my. I'm gonna say my comment on the picture. You're gonna respond, and then you're gonna approach me in. What would be a better way to approach Joe Jonas and the. The rest of the Jonas Brothers? There's three to come on the show. All right, you ready? There's four. Well, I mean, there are more brothers, I think. I think the other. I forgot the other one's name.

[B]

Frank.

[C]

More in line with what I have with Jonas Brothers. Yeah.

[B]

Franklin, I believe.

[C]

Well, that's.

[B]

What's his name?

[C]

I almost looked up. Almost.

[B]

Oh, you said something negative about his name.

[C]

Wasn't gonna say his shitty name sucks.

[B]

I was just.

[C]

Wow, that's crazy.

[B]

Franklin. I would never say that about you. This guy saying that. That's insane.

[C]

Anytime I hear Franklin, I just think of. Oh, neither. You guys have seen Arrested Development. God damn it.

[B]

Well, I think of the Turtle, and I fucked with the Turtle.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't like. Hey, it's frankly Whatever. All right. I'm Joe Jonas. You say. What do you say in your comment? You did the whole, like, are we gonna hang out? Or that's what you did.

[B]

Yeah, I did like.

[C]

Or what, Joe.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So go ahead and say that part, and then I'll be Joe and I'll respond.

[B]

Are we gonna hang out?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. I'm done with this. That's. That's. I'm. That's. I'm sick of this. I'm already done. Point being, you know, you take your shots, you see where. You see what happens. I mean, we haven't killed it. We don't know that it's dead. Well, could come in at any time.

[C]

I mean, here's the thing about the Jonas Brothers. I think that they like doing fun, quirky stuff. Yeah. And I do think at our core, we are fun, quirky guys.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like, us and them. We all have that in common. So Jonas brothers just said.

[B]

Just a good east coast quirk.

[C]

Jonas Brothers. You guys want to. You like having fun. You like laughing, you like talking, you like reminiscing. That's what we do. That's what the show is. So this is the basement yards official pitch.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

We are inviting rolling out the red carpet, the jo b. Ro to the job bros to come be on the basement yard.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think it would be a great, great episode. We can laugh. We could talk. We could sing. We could do a whole episode singing.

[B]

Hey, there. Will be singing on.

[D]

And.

[C]

And I think it would.

[B]

I think it's gonna come out of me and you too, and I think.

[C]

It would be a good time. So listen, Joe bros, no pressure on you, but if you don't come, you kind of. You're gonna. Yeah, Joe, Your street appeal.

[B]

Joe, just let me know. Just text me, bro. It's fine. You'll see.

[C]

I think it's in there. You know, whatever's in there. You know what I'm gonna do.

[B]

Yo, you know what I tried to do, too? Unsend it. They don't let you do that on TikTok. I've also never sent a DM on TikTok before. That was my first one. Oh, for one. And you can unsend it. So that.

[C]

Here's what I'm gonna do.

[B]

I tried to delete it, and it was like, delete for you. I was like, well, that's not gonna do it.

[C]

Here's where you messed up. Here's where you messed up.

[B]

Oh, I know where I messed up.

[C]

You went straight to the top. You tried to. You Try to penetrate at the hardest part of a mountain.

[B]

I don't like. I don't like the term.

[C]

I'm gonna message Franklin Jonas.

[B]

No, you can't now.

[C]

And I'm gonna get in that way.

[B]

No, you.

[C]

I'll be like, hey, my buddy message your brother. He's a real piece of shit.

[B]

First of all, that's not good. Now we're. Now we're double penetrating the.

[C]

Look at. I'm looking at his father.

[D]

So, like, I guess I'll message Kevin.

[C]

Stop this. So Franklin Jonas has. What is that, 603,000 followers?

[B]

Mm.

[C]

Joe Jonas on Instagram has 12.7. What's he more likely to see? Who's more likely to see this? I think if we can get in with Franklin. You just said his name was a piece of shit. You said that. If you. You said that. Why would I insult my own name? Dude, we've got the same name. If I just, like, relate to him on a frank to frank basis. First of all, this could happen. This is. This is spiraled spiral now spiraled up, spiral mountain, banjo kazooie.

[B]

What are these words? What is that the video game?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Haven't played that in a very long time.

[C]

You should play it.

[B]

Well, I. I don't have N64 because it's not 1912.

[C]

I do. 1912.

[B]

1912. I never think of a year. I always say 1912. Why is that?

[C]

Well, that's when the Titanic went down. So obviously it was a big year.

[B]

Was it the 12, I thought and the war of 1912.

[C]

What the hell was that?

[B]

It was a war.

[C]

Is that the year the Titanic went down? If I got that off Rip, I am impressed with that.

[B]

You answered that in the Jeopardy. One. I think it was 13. Am I crazy?

[D]

1912.

[B]

Oh, it's 12 if.

[C]

I know, I know. The years of tragic events.

[B]

Okay, Name Another one.

[C]

1941. Who's that? Pearl Harbor.

[B]

Yeah, that was a rough one.

[C]

2001.

[D]

It's also when the Oreo was invented.

[B]

When 1912, the Oreo was invented.

[C]

Big year for. Big year for cookie. Bad year for ships.

[B]

Bad year for ships. Also about to be a good time for everyone. The roaring twenties and then a very bad time.

[C]

Yeah, it was a pretty bad time for a lot of people. A lot of people. Which it was, bro.

[B]

What do you think the first Oreo tasted like in 1912?

[C]

Like, had to suck. I'm not gonna say it. I don't want to offend. Oreo.

[B]

Why? They're not even the same people.

[C]

That's fair. Probably like real chocolate.

[B]

I thought you were gonna be offending like 1912.

[C]

No, I'm offending current Oreo.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

I love Oreos. Don't get me wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What is it? I don't know. I don't know what it is.

[B]

It is a brown dust. Black brown.

[C]

Brother. What time was the last time you had an Oreo?

[B]

I mean, it's. They're black.

[C]

Jet black.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it is. It is very. I mean, I love an Oreo. Wait, Oreos were the, like, were the first big cookie.

[B]

Nah, Chocolate chip came on the scene with their dicks out.

[C]

I mean, when though, when the Chips Ahoy. We got it. If we're taking it from.

[B]

What's the best chocolate chip cookie?

[C]

Chocolate.

[B]

Like, like a brand that makes chocolate chip cookies. What's the best one?

[C]

Oh, I kind of. With Chips Ahoy, if I'm being honest with you.

[B]

I do too. But bro, hear me out.

[C]

Are you going with those old ones.

[B]

That are packaged like Famous Amos?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, those are a good cookie.

[C]

I don't like.

[B]

I love famous anus.

[C]

Famous anus. Suck on my anus.

[B]

Amos. Amos, not anus. I said anus.

[C]

Yeah. No, no, I. I think I stand by. I think.

[B]

Oh, green tates mad good.

[C]

Nah, it's all right. Whoa. I have peaked. I think we peaked at cookies when we got or Chips Ahoy Candy blasts the best.

[B]

But there's other ones out there.

[C]

Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm getting over being sick.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

The fucking Keebler elf. They make some pretty good ones.

[D]

Did we say intamins.

[B]

Only makes good like coffee cakes?

[D]

Oh, man, those tiny chocolate chips.

[C]

I kind of with them. Yeah, I used to put them in a bowl.

[B]

Little bites.

[C]

Actually.

[B]

I like those muffins.

[C]

I mean, we've talked about this and I'll say it again. The best cookie I've ever had were those ones that you'd get like an after school program in the. In New York City where it was like the cinnamon raisin with like the white frosting on top.

[B]

Yeah, the raisin or oatmeal. Frosted oatmeal.

[C]

Oh. I don't know what they were, but let me tell you, there was another chocolate chip. They sent a message to your parents and told them that it's time for fun.

[B]

I also although like cookie companies now that they make like crazy like they're like cakes. Basically when they do a chocolate chip cookie, it sucks. Like they're. They're like cake and like dumbass shit that they make. That, like, when I'm in the mood for a cookie like that, they. That's a great job. But the regular ones that they make.

[C]

I'm like, you know what sucks? Chocolate chocolate chip cookies. Too much chocolate. I don't like what people like.

[B]

Triple dark midnight cake. I'm like, bro, chill.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not. I'm not a big fan of sponge cake as it is. Oh.

[B]

I like a sponge. Like a fucking wet fucking. Yo. Like a cake. I want to just press it down and let it spit and squirt, you know, like a wet ass cake. Oh, my God.

[C]

How do we even unpack that one?

[B]

You ever look at a cake and, like, you. You just go like this? Because you could see the light dancing off of, like, the sponge part. That's my favorite. I love a wet ass.

[C]

I don't like sponge cake.

[B]

I don't like a triple chocolate type, though.

[C]

I think sponge cake is overrated. I think that all sponge cake is the same. You've never had a sponge cake and be like, that's the best sponge cake. It's all the same. It's all the same. They all use box cakes.

[B]

I mean, it's not all the same because it's. There's stuff that you could put in the cake, and also the icing is different and flavor different.

[C]

Joey, I'll tell you this. One of the things I learned from Jon Bon Jovi was that it's all the same. Only the names will change. They literally are the exact same cake. They just add different shit on top of it. And different hats, baby.

[B]

Yeah, that's every food.

[C]

No cakes. Cakes is all cakes.

[B]

You like ice cream cake?

[C]

I do love ice cream cake. Don't get me started on that. That's a different cake. No, but it's not sponge cake. I'm saying all sponge cakes is the same.

[B]

They don't taste the same.

[C]

Yes, they do. All different flavors. Sometimes they do different flavors and stuff. Stuff like that.

[B]

That would make him different.

[C]

No, but it's all the same.

[B]

How is that.

[C]

Only the names will change.

[B]

How is it the same if it's different?

[C]

Because it's all from sponge cake. All cakes are sponge cake, except for ice cream cakes, which are. They've made their own cakes.

[B]

I don't even know how to. So you think things that are different flavors are not different?

[C]

They are in a little bit of a sense, but they are the same. Why? It's true. It's not true. I'm shocked that you don't agree with me on this one. All cakes are the same. All cakes are the same, but they have a little difference.

[D]

It's like books. If you read one book, you read them all.

[C]

That's even dumber than what he said. All books are books. All books are books, but they just have different little words in them, which.

[B]

Would make them different books. Am I going insane?

[C]

Call my therapist. Book a session for today. But listen to what you said. That it makes them different books. But they're all books.

[B]

What point are you making? That doesn't. That doesn't. That's not the conversation.

[C]

All books are books.

[B]

You're okay.

[C]

All books are books.

[B]

Are you.

[C]

A dictionary and Harry Potter are books.

[B]

They are the same. So then cakes are cakes.

[C]

Yes, that's what I said.

[B]

So ice cream cake is a cake?

[C]

No, but ice cream cake is not the same. Cakes are not cake. The ice cream cake is only a cake because they are referencing its layering and its presentation for events and celebrations.

[B]

That's insane.

[D]

Like a graphic novel.

[C]

A graphic novel, exactly.

[B]

You guys are rage baiting me.

[C]

No, I'm not. I'm being serious. All books are books.

[B]

You're baiting me.

[C]

All books are books.

[D]

Frankie is a master at it.

[C]

I am not a masturbator.

[B]

You guys are rage baiting.

[C]

You like that one?

[B]

I need to protect my piece right now with you guys because it's really pissing me off.

[C]

No, I do think, though, that all books are the same.

[B]

All books are the same book. I mean, so the Bible is the same as.

[C]

See, don't.

[B]

The.

[C]

Don't do that.

[B]

The. Any other religious book.

[C]

I'm glad he didn't name them, because I was. I was afraid he was gonna.

[B]

Why?

[C]

What's wrong with naming religious books? Because you're trying to violence bait me. What? You're trying to bait the violence against me.

[B]

Sometimes you do this thing where you say a sentence and it means nothing, and it just short circuits me. And that was one of them. And I'm like. I don't even know what to say to that. I got nothing.

[C]

I mean, we could sword fight. We could sword fight.

[B]

Or we can get to these. Frank, don't do it. That thing's gonna spark like crazy. And here we.

[D]

You didn't turn. You didn't turn it on.

[C]

I don't need to turn it on for it to be deadly.

[B]

Are we still talking about swords here? Good Lord. Guys, listen. We have some sponsors for today. The first one being how you doing?

[C]

BetterHelp.

[B]

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so in under 48 hours by signing up for better help. It has helped a lot of people in this country. And yeah, they have a bunch of licensed therapists that can get you all set up. They make it very easy, the onboarding process to switch from therapist to therapist to make sure you're getting the right fit for you. And they have over 30,000 therapists. It's one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. I've been in therapy for a number of years. I think that it's very helpful. I'll always try to advocate for that. But yeah, they get, they make it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. And you can sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Basemanyard that is BetterHelp spelled B e T T e R h e l p.com basementyard. So go check out betterhelp and you know, get to that therapy. All right. We also have Brooklyn bedding. Brooklyn bedding handcrafts every mattress in their Arizona factory. No middlemen, no gimmicks, just top tier quality, honest pricing and, you know, craftsmanship for a better night's sleep. All right. And that is the most important thing. I mean, sleep, you know, with all the health stuff that's going on in the world, sleep is honestly one of the most important things. Actually take care of that. You should be able to try to get your. I think it's like seven to eight hours or whatever you're supposed to get. Yeah. They know that sleep isn't one size fits all. And they offer mattresses for every body and every sleep style. So if you have like, you know, you like it a little cold or, or you know, you want it a little firm or softer or whatever, they, they can make something for you. They also offer a 120 night comfort trial. Love it. Although help you return it or swap it, whatever it is, hassle free. But you can go to BrooklynBetting.com and use the promo code basement at checkout to get 30% off site wide. Okay. This offer is not available anywhere else. That's brooklynbedding.com and the promo code is basement for 30% off site wide. So if you're in the market for a new mattress, you can, or you're trying to just level up a little bit. Brooklyn betting.com and use that promo code BASEMENT for 30% off site wide.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

How was that? I don't know.

[C]

I didn't realize I had to go so quickly also, guys. Patreon.com the Basement thank you guys for an incredible 2025. We are so excited for 2026. And a big part of that is all the love and support that you guys have given us on Patreon. You know, looking back and how much growth there has been on that platform individually is kind of just astonishing. You know, since, you know, the show, you know, since I joined on the show back in 2020 and then all the way up until now. We love you and we thank you and we're so appreciative of all the love and all the support. So if you want to join Patreon, you can get these weekly episodes one week in advance for free. Not for free. Excuse me. With that first tier, if you go and sign up at patreon.com the basementyard and then if you sign up for that second tier, you get weekly episodes every single Friday. So you could start and end your week with the basement yard. And and if you want to do it and save yourself a couple extra bucks, go to patreon.com the basementyard on a web browser. If you use a smart app, they're going to take extra money from you, so do it on a web browser. You'll be able to get the Patreon membership and save yourself some money. There's a ton of backlog episodes on there and things that are just for the patron's eyes only, especially the little MSG documentary we did, especially years and years and years of episodes. So go check it [e-mail] thebasementyard and also lastly, tby tourmerch.com what is that I mentioned in the last episode? You might not remember that I said that, but I'm going to say it again just to clean your ears out. It's where you could get some leftover tour merch that we have from the tour this year. It's very limited quantities, so we can't confirm what is available except for there are some things on there that you'll see. We'll say sold out, but go check it out right now. Tby tourmerch.com if you weren't able to get it the first time or if you weren't able to come to a show and something catches your eye, you'll be able to possibly get it there. So go check it out. Thank you. We appreciate it. And let's get back to it.

[B]

What's the those defense that you're doing?

[C]

Why would you ever defend like this?

[B]

Well, your hand was like this and then you had that.

[C]

Yeah, well, I'm using my other energy with this hand to push your energy out. I really think I'm going to do a sword fight with you after this.

[B]

Me? Yep.

[C]

Or ant. I think it would be a good sword fighter.

[B]

Are you a good swordsman?

[D]

The best.

[B]

It's not confident.

[C]

Well, the best sounds intense.

[D]

Are you bringing that?

[C]

No, I'll. I'll borrow one of the big ones. Which again, by the way, the fact that you guys two. You two got the big ones and I got the small one seems wildly disrespectful.

[D]

I don't know if you'd be able to handle the ones we have.

[C]

You see that? I mean. All right, fine. Bring your big one and I'll show you why this little one. I don't need a big one. Okay. This cuz.

[D]

Guess what?

[C]

Might be smaller, but it's. It works. It's just as deadly. Boom.

[B]

It is much bigger.

[C]

Much as a stretch. It's about the same now that I think about it. Yeah, pretty. Pretty commonly. I didn't even tell you the other day I had. I wanted to pull my hair out because I was in the steam room. Excuse me, the sauna. And there was a. I walked in on like a 65 year old white woman talking with another person.

[B]

Co ed sauna.

[C]

It was a co ed one because the single Ed was out. Yes. No, everyone was fully clothed, myself included.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I walk in and she's talking about. She's like, yeah, we vacation. I'm not. This is exactly how I went. She's like, we vacation in Barbados and we love to go down there and live like the locals. And I was like, oh, fuck, how's this going to happen?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she was like, we go down there and we live like the locals on our catamaran. And I was like, okay, well now you lost it.

[B]

Where is that a boat?

[C]

Yeah, big. It's a. It's a. It's like a rich person.

[B]

Is that like the. Like it's got a net in the back or whatever.

[C]

I don't know if there are nets on the back, but you can look up catamaran. Don't ask me to spell.

[B]

Like I know what it is.

[C]

But then she's like, oh, we love living like a local in our catamaran. We eat seafood and then we go and we listen. She goes, we go listen a live reggae, reggae, reggae. And I wanted to pull my hair out and put it down my own throat and choke on it. It was so bad.

[B]

And she's just doing this, like, in the. She's, like, with her friend in this. In the sauna.

[C]

She was talking to, like, another old, rich white man.

[B]

It does have the. The thing. All right one, but, I mean, that one does. It has the net. Yeah.

[C]

What is. Listen, if you can afford it, good for you, Joe. Probably will be there soon, if not already there. But, like, it's a cool boat.

[D]

It's cool.

[C]

I don't with boats.

[B]

You don't with boats.

[C]

Don't with boats. Don't with the ocean.

[B]

You wouldn't get on a boat.

[C]

Probably not like a yacht party.

[B]

Nah, but they don't go, like, out to the.

[C]

Where do they go? Before you say anything, where do they go?

[B]

Not far from land.

[C]

But on what water? Which.

[B]

Frank, you've been on water before?

[C]

Yeah, lakes. I'm cool with lakes, brother. You don't see yachts, so why are.

[B]

You cool with lakes?

[C]

Because you have a good understanding of what's in that lake compared to what's in the ocean. Because guess what cannot get you in a lake?

[B]

Great whites. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Guess what. You could mostly see the bottom of.

[B]

I can't see three inches.

[C]

I mean, I'm saying, like. But, like, you could. You have a sense of, like, how deep this water is, bro. The ocean. What?

[B]

I feel like, you know. You never jumped in the oce off a boat?

[C]

Nope. No, I have not. And get watch. I'm gonna do you one further. Yeah, I ain't gonna.

[B]

No.

[C]

No way, baby.

[B]

What if you were in, like, Europe, like, the Mediterranean?

[C]

There's so much cool stuff on land.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, if you're.

[C]

I'll put my feet in, like, on the beach, where I can see my feet and see anything that would approach. But, like, if you're telling me we're going. I'm not even saying far offshore. You're saying we're going not far.

[B]

50 yards.

[C]

50, 49 yards. Too many, baby. Let me tell you. I am not doing it.

[B]

You ever jump in the ocean?

[D]

I went tubing.

[B]

That's pretty far out in the ocean.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

That's bananas.

[C]

That is insane.

[D]

It's pretty far out. You fall in. That's a problem.

[C]

Wait, you were.

[B]

You were tubing in the ocean?

[C]

Yeah. The most fun part of tubing is falling off.

[B]

What's the ocean? What ocean?

[C]

Pacific?

[B]

I don't know. But where were you?

[D]

Oh, I went. I was in Aruba for one.

[C]

Aruba? In Sicily for one Jamaica.

[B]

You were tubing in Sicily? They do that.

[D]

Yeah, that was a mistake.

[C]

Why? Why was that a mistake?

[D]

Because we saw where we could be going out, and in my head, I said, well, as long as we're not going past that rock, because that rock looks really far. And then we went probably 50 yards past it. And great whites everywhere insists, like, big. Big great white thing.

[C]

You're.

[B]

And you're on a tube.

[D]

I'm on a banana boat.

[C]

And, like, so you're on a little banana. We look like a snack.

[B]

You're on your.

[C]

You're on your knees.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

And there's great white. Hold on.

[C]

Banana. I don't think you've been on a proper banana boat. You sit on a banana boat, you straddle it like a giant wang.

[D]

You still straddle like, you're.

[B]

You're strong, like, kneed up. No. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, the way that we used to ride banana boats is you would be on your knees, but, like, hmm. I can't believe.

[B]

No way I'm getting out of this. Yeah, it was scary.

[C]

I don't. But that's crazy because they say, like. Like fluttering and, like, making a scene is what attracts sharks, because they're like, oh, something's over there. I'm gonna go fucking get it.

[D]

When we fell off, I said, let me go on first back on, and I'll help everybody up. I just had to get up there.

[C]

Smart, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I didn't want to be in that water.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[C]

Because that's the hardest part, is waiting for them to come back and get you. That could feel like an eternity. Hell, no.

[B]

I'm like, well, so I'm in agreement. Like, that's crazy. I think that's a little nuts. But I. I. When I was in Mallorca, I went swimming in, like, a thing, but it's like. It's open ocean, and then there's, like, a little cove, and some of it, you can touch the bottom and you can see whatever. But then somebody had goggles. So I put the goggles on, and there's mad fish everywhere. It's fire.

[C]

Like.

[B]

You don't think that's cool to see? No, it's very salty. Yes, Very salty.

[C]

But I do. I would go in the Dead Sea. That one I would go into.

[B]

Is there anything in there?

[C]

No, because the salt content is too high. Literally. Why they call it a dead sea? Because nothing can live in it. Ah, that would be cool because you could, like, float.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's so salty, you can just chill.

[B]

I wonder if you'd be interested in a sensory deprivation tank.

[C]

People, like, lose their minds in those things, don't they?

[B]

Not that I've heard.

[D]

You start seeing faces, maybe.

[B]

I definitely, like, hallucinated a little bit. Well, hallucinated is like, a very aggressive way to say that. Like, my. I'm. You're just in complete blackness, and you're.

[C]

Just kind of darkness, and you're floating in, like, salinated water. Right?

[B]

It's. Yeah, you're, like, floating, and it's the perfect temperature of your body, so it feels like you're just floating.

[C]

Is that not terrifying? Like, why are we putting ourselves in these circumstances that are just kind of freaking us out?

[B]

I think it's, like, relaxation. Like, I find it to be a little relaxing.

[C]

You both said you hallucinated a little bit.

[B]

Hallucinated was aggressive. I meant that, like, I can kind of. It felt like I was seeing stuff, but not, like, actual stuff, like little things.

[C]

So it's pitch black, and I'm basically floating in. In nothingness and I can't hear anything.

[B]

You.

[C]

That's also terrifying because. What if I start to drown?

[B]

You're. You can't.

[C]

What if they start. What if it's like a.

[B]

If they start filling it up, they.

[C]

Start filling it up with water?

[B]

No, you can get out at any time.

[C]

But why? How?

[B]

You just sit up and open up the thing.

[C]

But what if someone locks a thing and they start filling it up with water?

[B]

Well, you. No one can get in your room.

[C]

How do you know what. It's a room, brother. Yes, they can.

[B]

No, so, like, you. So the one that I went to, it's like you walk into a room and you lock the door behind you. You have to take a shower, and then you get into the.

[C]

I need a shower to get in this water?

[B]

Yeah, because, I mean, it's. You know, it's a nice thing, but, like, you. You get in and then you close the thing. There's. They also had, like, a light show or, like a guided meditation, but I was like, I just want full nothing.

[C]

I. I think that, like, in those moments, I mean, you see how I am when we go to these airbnbs on tour. I lock. I, like, barricade my doors and shit like that. Like, I am fully preparing that. Like, oh, someone can come in here and just start filling this up with water. And then I'm going, But they can't.

[B]

Like, the water is like this. It's like being in a tub.

[C]

Yeah, but the. How big is the enclosure?

[B]

It's. It's. What do you mean?

[C]

How big is the enclosure?

[B]

Like, how much room is between you and the ceiling? Yeah, you could probably touch it.

[C]

Okay. What happens if they start filling it up with water?

[B]

It would like, poor. Like, it's not deep. Like, the water is like this deep.

[C]

He's not getting me.

[D]

That's like you saying, like, you.

[B]

How would they get in and start filling it up?

[C]

I don't know, but I got to think about this stuff.

[B]

But how would I even. I'm a confused how that's a worry.

[C]

Listen, it's hard being me and what was that?

[D]

I agree.

[C]

I'm just saying maybe there are people out there that want me dead and maybe they could find that I'm in a sensory deprivation tank and start filling up with or.

[B]

It's not something that locks.

[C]

How do you know?

[B]

I went to it.

[C]

Have you been in one that. They're all the same. Only the names will change.

[B]

Bon Jovi's back, baby.

[C]

He's back 100%.

[B]

We should go. We should do one.

[C]

Oh, they scare me. They really do. I'm not kidding.

[B]

It's a little freaky, but like, once.

[C]

You get also, also massages. I've gotten a couple, like 60 minute massages. That's terrifying, too.

[B]

What?

[C]

They're kind of scary. You're like super. Like, this person can just. Like you're relaxing and then they could just grab a knife and stab you in the back.

[B]

Yeah. That's your whole life.

[C]

I know it's scary. Like when I get my. When I go get thinking about how.

[B]

You possibly relax during a massage, sometimes you're thinking, yo, this is going great, but if this woman takes a knife and puts it in the back of my skull.

[C]

Yeah. When I go to get a haircut now, they'll be like, hey, do you mind if I use a straight razor? And I'm like, yeah, of course. Go ahead. And then I'm like, yo, all they have to do is just go like that and I'm gone.

[B]

It's a wild way to live.

[C]

I mean, you need to prepare yourself.

[B]

How are you preparing for to against a knife attack? That was a stupid question.

[C]

You just got to keep that thing on you all the time. And I always have that thing on me.

[B]

But you don't have weapons. You're not a weapons guy.

[C]

I'm not a weapons guy because I have the ultimate weapon, you know, what do they say? The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both.

[B]

I have never heard that.

[C]

I've said that with much aplomb. And I'm upset That you guys didn't realize it.

[D]

The tongue can lick them both.

[B]

The tongue can, but I don't know what that's gonna do.

[C]

I mean, it's a saying.

[B]

What does it even mean?

[C]

Well, because the sword. Swords are normally what we're used to. Kill people.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Okay. The sword is mighty, but you know what's even mightier than that?

[B]

The pen.

[C]

The written word.

[B]

It can enact change.

[C]

It can enact change. But guess what can lick them both? The tongue.

[B]

But what does that mean?

[C]

There is a hierarchy to power and. And, you know, being able to sway, move the masses. Pen. The. The. The sword could do it. The pen could do it stronger, but then the tongue could lick them both.

[B]

I feel like there's a better way to say that, because I feel like if you licked a knife or a sword, you'd be in for a rough one. That'd be your last lick.

[C]

You could lick a sword.

[D]

Well, the pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue is mightier than them both put together. Is the. Is the.

[C]

Please tell me that you made it up. No, I've heard that somewhere can lick them. I've heard that somewhere. Type that in right now.

[B]

If it doesn't show up, I'm literally calling the police. That what I.

[D]

That's what I was typing in. And that's the phrase that kept coming up. It's calling close, but no.

[C]

No, it is not close. No, I've heard this. Don't listen. Don't do this.

[B]

I did.

[C]

Don't do this.

[B]

The pen is mightier than the sword.

[C]

But the tongue can lick them both.

[B]

Type that in if there's zero.

[C]

No, I've heard that. I've heard it somewhere.

[B]

In your dreams.

[C]

No, no, no, I've heard this. Let's ask Joe Jonas. He's probably texting. Joe Jonas is very dead. He's very.

[B]

Yeah, Joe Jonas has text me right now.

[C]

Yeah, I did have a text from.

[B]

A number that I. That I didn't have, and it was Verizon.

[C]

I have Verizon too.

[B]

I love.

[C]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I enjoy it.

[D]

It's not here.

[C]

No, there's no way.

[D]

It's just not.

[C]

There's no way. I refuse to believe that you're thinking, how could.

[B]

What would the tongue licking a pen or a sword mean? Because that doesn't, like, stop the sword.

[C]

Like, I mean, it's just a saying, Joey. Now I'm panicking over here. But the tongue can lick them both.

[B]

I hope that you find something. I. I I, I, I really hope so.

[D]

I also hope he finds something from Goodreads.

[B]

Goodreads.

[C]

Marcus G. Oh, nope.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

[C]

Yep. Yep. Read that one. What does it say? Read that one.

[B]

What does it say?

[D]

This is the, the phrase he's thinking of. It's Marcus Garvey, right? Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. It's. The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue is mightier than them both put together.

[C]

I'm telling you, I've heard about the tongue licking.

[B]

If you took a pen and a sword and you put them together, you can lick them.

[C]

I'm telling you, I didn't make that up. If I did make that up, that's way better than Marcus Garvey's.

[B]

No, it doesn't make sense.

[C]

Yes, it does make sense. Like, guess what can lick both the pen and the sword? The tongue.

[B]

What good does that do?

[C]

It's a, It's a. It's a euphemism, Joey. It's symbolic. It's symbolic. I understand that, but, like, I think, if anything, my version of it is way better than Marcus Garvey's.

[B]

We know.

[C]

I'm just. We know you think that. I'm just saying, you know, but the.

[B]

Tongue can lick them both. I mean, we have to make posters now. Like, that is mean.

[C]

Is that not. I think that's a cool.

[B]

You and, like, that outfit with an apple. And it's just.

[C]

I mean, if someone hasn't made that yet, I'd be astonished.

[B]

Man, that is so good.

[C]

I do think. I mean, guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All quotes need to come from somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So, like, I'm sure when the first time someone said, you know, the pen is mighty than the sword, they were just like, what? Oh, what? What is that? Yeah, that was.

[B]

Well, that's not how it was framed. You said. It's like they say.

[C]

They have said it. They have said it.

[B]

Dude, this is 2025. We have the Internet. That means everything's in there.

[C]

No, it doesn't. No one. No, it doesn't. There are stories that we have as individuals that have been passed down that are not necessarily on the Internet yet. Right. You know, think of all the Earth.

[B]

Maybe your dad. Maybe your dad said it, and you're.

[C]

Like, oh, that's if my dad said that.

[B]

Right?

[C]

He's a genius. However, I can, with confidence, say he probably didn't and he probably isn't.

[B]

The tongue can lick them both. The tongue can lick everything.

[C]

The tongue can lick everything. That's right. It's just meant to encapsulate that the power of good orators. You know, they can go out there with much aplomb and they can move people based off of the spoken word. I think that that is a very clever way to say that. And I'm going to take my victory lapse.

[B]

You should. Because that, that was. I'm really glad that we got that on camera. We do have some more sponsors for this show before we move forward with more quotes from our, you know, our resident philosopher here.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Modern day Play doh. We have prize picks.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Prize picks is a fun game that you can play during the football season here. And basically you are competing against a prize pick picks projection. So they'll make a projection. They'll say is Travis Kelce going to have more or less than four and a half catches? You could say more or less. And you do that a couple times and build these lineups and you could win a bunch of money. Then they have a new feature also that has early payouts. So if you're, you know, your player gets off to a hot start, you have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. So that's an easier way to kind of make money as well. But you know, you kind of do this. Like I said, you build a lineup with a couple of these things. And it's not just football. There's all the other sports and other stuff on there as well. So go check it out. And you put these lineups together and then you could win some money. And you can download the prize picks app today and use the code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That is code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. All right, so prize picks, you know, go check them out. I know a lot of people that play this. It's cool. And yeah, then we have hello Fresh. Listen, it's the new year. We're gonna start some new habits. We're gonna get right on track here. And nothing hits like home cooking and home hellofresh brings the joy of the kitchen with recipes back right to your front door. Okay, so you're gonna go on the website, you're gonna pick from there rotating menu. They have a lot of good stuff, high quality stuff. And it's all going to arrive at your house pre portioned so you don't have to waste anything. And then you're going to make a really nice thing for dinner. All right. And this is how you're going to get into cooking, you're going to make some interesting stuff. Maybe you can do some healthy stuff as well if that's what you're into. You know, some Mediterranean style or whatever. They have a bunch of different things. So yeah, just definitely go check them out. Hellofresh. Go to hellofresh.com basement10fm. You'll get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife, which is a $145 value on your third box. The offer is valid by supplies. Last free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only, varies by plan. So go check them out. Hellofresh. Been using them for years. My mom loves hellofresh. But go to hellofresh.com basement10fm to get 10 free meals and that freeze willing knife at 145 value. So there you go folks. It's a nice way to start the year. Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions? Fix your computer. Yeah, my computer's computer's panties came off.

[C]

You had to go with panties?

[B]

Panties.

[C]

It was the top, brother.

[B]

When you think of panties, what do you see? What do you see? Yeah, I mean you're looking, you're thinking hard, dude, don't think too hard.

[C]

You're thinking real hard.

[B]

What do you think of when I say panties?

[D]

Pink.

[B]

No. Okay. Why? That's not. I mean what do they look like?

[C]

Pink. Yeah.

[D]

And small Lace.

[C]

Yours? On fucking fire.

[B]

Yeah, like the shape.

[C]

I think, I think, I think panties is more like. Lace is not panties.

[B]

Lace is bananas.

[C]

Lace is not panties. I'm thinking like a cotton blend.

[B]

Oh, you're thinking a cotton blend?

[C]

I'm thinking like, you know, like polyester. Sure. That could be in there, you know, but I'm thinking like what, what would be like the equivalent to our boxers? You know, like something a little more comfortable than just a piece of thread in someone's.

[B]

Thongs are thongs.

[D]

Yeah, thongs are thongs.

[B]

So like a panty though, like are you thinking a granny panty?

[C]

I think I. I don't think it's. It's as you know, pronounced as a granny panty. I think granny panties are a little more loose fitting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And larger.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think these are.

[B]

Cover the whole butt.

[C]

Yeah, I think these are a little more like, you know, pronounced but still style. There's a good mix of like granny panty is going for entirely diaper comfort. Too much on comfort.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A panty is like a mix of comfort and style.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then a thong is just. It doesn't even care about comfort at all.

[B]

What do you think? What do you think of panties?

[C]

Pink.

[B]

Pink. That was great.

[D]

My bad.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, I do. I have some New Year's resolutions. I think. I'm. I'm really trying to, you know, be the best version of myself. I want to, you know, be more active and stuff like that. The normal stuff. I'm pretty basic with my New Year's resolutions every year. You know, I mean, it's easy because during the holiday season, I really commit to being, like, eating like a piece of shit. Right. You know, really getting after. I mean, it's all hams and butter stuff.

[B]

Had ham yesterday. My mom made a ham.

[C]

She made it.

[B]

Ham. Oh, God.

[C]

Hammed it up.

[B]

Also did a number on the mashed potatoes. Oh, yeah, dude.

[C]

She have her world famous broccoli.

[B]

Did she make the broccoli? Yeah, she made the broccoli. The broccoli is fantastic also, but yeah, the mashed potatoes really threw me. I wasn't expecting that.

[C]

Are you. Is the ham repeating on you today? Are you feeling it?

[B]

No, I didn't have that much ham.

[C]

How much ham you talking?

[B]

Like, three pieces.

[C]

What size pieces?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I didn't get one of the, you know, the big hunks.

[C]

Yeah, the hunk of hun.

[B]

The hunks are crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, I just. I know too much about the. You knew sodium.

[C]

Just to be very clear, you knew nothing about ham pre. 1 month ago.

[B]

I knew what it tasted like.

[C]

Gotcha.

[B]

And that. That was.

[C]

And you knew it was probably not healthy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You just didn't know.

[B]

Well, I did know. Like, I. Now I know I'm too aware of, like, the sodium. So I'm like, oh, I can't. But, like, whatever.

[C]

I mean, it's all. Just drink a lot of water, you'll be all right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's an easy way to fix it. What else did she have? I don't even remember, but it was a great dinner. Loved it. Hammed it. Also was putting some of the ham juice and I was dipping my dinner roll in it. It's pretty good.

[C]

Ham juice doesn't sound.

[B]

Yeah, like the juice. Oh, like.

[C]

Oh, like the glaze.

[B]

Well, it's like a juice. And you juice. You put a. You pour it back on your ham.

[D]

It's in a little, like, genie lamp.

[B]

Yeah, you don't do that.

[C]

Gravy.

[B]

It's not gravy.

[C]

Gravy, guys.

[B]

It's not gravy. It's like a liquidy. It's Liquidy. It's not. It's not gravy. It's not like a thick.

[C]

I don't. I can't even tell you.

[B]

You've never poured anything on a ham? No.

[C]

It's baked with a. It's. It's cooked with a glaze. And then you come out and you cut it up and eat it.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

You do the juice.

[D]

Yeah, I'm juicy.

[B]

Yeah, we do juice.

[C]

Juice it up. Yeah.

[B]

There's like a whole. My mom has, like, a little thing of juice and we ladle it on.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Juice.

[D]

You do the ham. If you. If you make a little sandwich with bread, you put some juice on the bread.

[C]

Juice.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What? I. Not even ever.

[B]

When you take it out of the thing. I don't even know. I don't know if it's coming out of the ham and it's just in the pan.

[C]

I mean, if you're calling it ham juice.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's for the ham.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, juice.

[C]

It sounds like an uncooked kind of sanitary nightmare when you say it like that. Ham juice. Like, if I said chicken juice, you'd be like, oh, hold on.

[D]

No, but that still kind of exists, you know, when you're cooking it and it's in the pot, it's in the pan.

[C]

That's like juice. My guys, that's. That's like the. The gravy, the oils.

[B]

It's definitely not a gravy.

[D]

It's not. Yeah.

[C]

It's certainly not thick to be a gravy.

[B]

Not at all.

[D]

Wrong word.

[B]

It's also, like, see through. It's reddish. It's clear. It's not clear.

[D]

No.

[C]

I need to see what brown juices are.

[B]

Am I.

[C]

Could you pull up ham juice?

[B]

This is crazy.

[C]

Can you pull up ham juice for me?

[B]

I don't think it's.

[C]

I mean, I think you'll be able to find it.

[B]

You've never had a ham juice.

[C]

But you know what? You can't.

[B]

At my house.

[C]

You can't find a lot of things on the Internet because they didn't have that.

[B]

That's like a ham broth. What the.

[C]

What the is.

[D]

None of this looks particularly like.

[B]

Should I call my mom and ask her about ham juice?

[C]

Ask your mom about him.

[B]

All right, let me call my mom.

[C]

Hey, mom, what the hell is the ham juice? All right, let me. I just. I. I think, like, it just like I said, if I were to say, here I got a thing of turkey juice, he'd be like, what the fuck?

[B]

Let's find Out. What Biz is doing.

[C]

She better answer.

[B]

She better.

[E]

Hi, Joey.

[B]

Hey, Mama.

[D]

Hold on.

[E]

Speaker.

[B]

Okay. Oh, you're on the basement yard at the moment. I have a question.

[C]

Hi, Liz. Oh, turn the meatball.

[B]

Turn the meatball. It sounds like you're in the shower.

[C]

You got any meatball juice?

[B]

Mom.

[D]

Kidding me.

[C]

Where's Keith?

[D]

Keith.

[B]

Mom.

[E]

All right, let me take you off speaker now.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

I said hi. Hi, Liz.

[B]

Frank says hi.

[D]

You didn't tell her?

[C]

I said and said nothing.

[B]

So we're talking about yesterday we had ham, right? Huh? And now the. The juice that we put on the ham. Ham juice.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What.

[B]

What is that? Because Frank's never heard of ham juice.

[C]

I've never heard of ham juice.

[B]

He's never been juiced. He's never juiced his ham.

[E]

Well, let me tell you how I make this. And it turns into a juice. It's not juice of the ham.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

It's what I put over it. Like some people glaze a ham.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

But I could. The big ham in the pot, in the pan.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I put mustard.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And I put a lot of brown sugar. I put the pineapple juice from the can of pineapples. And I'm gonna put her on there. And I put. What else do I put? A little bit of ginger ale. If they need a little more pancake syrup.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I mean, don't give this away if we.

[B]

No, but.

[C]

So wait, that's what.

[B]

That sounds like. A glaze.

[E]

Pancake syrup down. And with the sugar.

[C]

It's a glaze.

[E]

Whatever. It's like a glaze. But it's more like a. A gravy, so to speak, you know.

[B]

It's not a gravy, Mom.

[E]

Well, we use it. You know, you put the ham on your plate and then you put the.

[B]

Yeah, but a gravy is, like, thick. It's like a. It's like watery.

[C]

But is that.

[B]

That when. So the thing that you're dumping, you're dumping that on the ham when it's cooking, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

No, no, I. I put it all on, and then I put it in the oven and forget about it.

[C]

So she glazed. Forget about it. Thank you so much. So she glazes the ham with this concoction. Yeah. And then all the. Clearly, like, the sugars and stuff bind and stick to the ham. And then the liquid that's left, she uses to ladle on is kind of like a gravy.

[B]

That's what we said. That's why I'm calling it ham juice.

[C]

But you said it's. But I said, it sounds like the glaze. And you were like, no, it's ham.

[B]

No, you're like, you glaze it first. All right, I'm gonna have a different conversation with Frank. But you're like, this is all that you put on the ham, and then it kind of gets into the pan. Then you pour that into a cup. Yeah.

[E]

After I take the ham out to slice, I. The rest of it I pour into a thing I can separate. If there's any real fatty grease, I could use the gravy separator to get rid of that. And then we just pour on the rest.

[B]

All right, well, you answered my question. Thank you so much. Save me some meatballs. I'm coming over tomorrow, by the way. Gotcha. All right. I love you.

[C]

All right, bye, Liz. And says, merry Christmas. No, Ant didn't say anything. Merry Christmas.

[B]

All right, I'll see you.

[E]

Okay, bye.

[B]

Bye. Merry Christmas is crazy. Merry Christmas is crazy. I apologize about my money.

[C]

No, no. So I'm right. So I was right. Right or wrong, I could, I need to hold on to any bit of being right that I can.

[B]

This isn't right or wrong. I was saying there is a juice that comes from the Hamilton, like, in the pan, and then you ladle it onto your stuff.

[C]

Yeah, but you said. I was like, oh, it sounds like it's for, like, from the glaze. And you said, no, I thought it was. You said the way it sounded. The way it sounded. And maybe I'm completely misinterpreting. It was like, it was a separate juice that, like, your mom, like, oh.

[B]

I didn't, I, I didn't know whether that was right or wrong. Like, I didn't know whether she made it separately, but I assumed that it came out of the ham. That's why I was like, how have you never heard of ham juice? I assume it's in the pan. Like, that's the, the juice.

[C]

I, I think we were. We kind of were both explaining.

[B]

You based the. You based the ham.

[C]

Yes, but we were explaining the same things, but just in different ways, if that makes any sense. Like, we, I, I, I've had ham juice. Do you.

[B]

No, but my whole question how this started was, do you ladle stuff onto your. No, but that's the question. That's what I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah, but then you were saying ham juice, and I was like, what the does this juice come from?

[B]

It's the juice for the ham from.

[C]

Your mom glazing the ham.

[D]

I think we lost Once she used the word gravy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's certainly not a gravy. I don't care what she says. Like, it's not a gravy.

[D]

The ginger ale, I wrote down the recipe, obviously, but the ginger ale, that was. That was surprising.

[C]

Oh, my dad, like his thing. Yeah, my dad just. The only thing he does to his ham is he pours like five cans of Coca Cola.

[B]

I've seen people do that online.

[C]

That's a lot of Coca Cola.

[B]

I think it's just because of, like, the sugar content.

[C]

Yeah, it basically, once you cook it, it just. It crystallizes, basically. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you do mustard with your glaze?

[C]

Becca does. Yeah.

[D]

And you're all right with that because it buries it, right?

[C]

Yeah. Guys, listen, we could talk about it.

[B]

I feel like we should myth bust this.

[C]

Bust the myth a little. Yeah, I.

[B]

You gotta be open.

[C]

I'm open. I have had and continue to have mustard incorporated into dishes.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know, like, it's just like hot dog, like yellow mustard or brown mustard on something or like as a dip or something. No way. Not filthy. Disgusting.

[B]

I will say, not liking honey mustard is very confusing.

[C]

I just. It's. It's the mustard. It's just mustard.

[B]

Stirred mustard.

[C]

Sounds like a mustard. Like a slur mustard. Yeah. I. That is disgusting to me. And it doesn't make sense because a lot of people say, like, oh, it's like, very vinegary tasting and stuff like that. I love vinegar. I don't like mustard.

[B]

I wouldn't describe it. I think yellow mustard is like, wow.

[C]

Well, that's what. Yellow mustard.

[B]

What's the one with the little brown beads?

[C]

That's like brown mustard or Dijon or anything, but. Yeah, you know, that is. You know how they make that?

[B]

No.

[C]

They soak it in like vinegar and then they puree it.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

I believe that's one of the methods.

[D]

You know what blew my mind? Almond milk is just crushed up almonds.

[C]

Well, they let them soak in water and then they blend them together.

[D]

But isn't that weird? You can milk an almond.

[B]

I know.

[C]

I mean, it's. It's more like a milk smooth. It's like an almond smoothie, but it.

[D]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I mean. Yeah. I mean, I've seen videos of people making it. I'm like, there's got to be more like, I don't believe this almond milk.

[C]

I know. It's a good alternative. You've said it in the past and I wanted to strangle you. It's not better than whole milk.

[B]

I said that almond milk was better.

[C]

Yeah, you said you prefer the taste, which I have to take your preference and destroy it.

[B]

I don't think that. I don't even remember what whole milk tastes like. I haven't had it in so long.

[C]

Delicious. Let me tell you, brother, maybe I've.

[B]

Had it, like, in stuff like, I'm sure, like, ice cream has, like, whole milk in it or something.

[D]

Are you an oat milk guy? No, because I think oat milk.

[B]

I had oat milk one time, I put it in a coffee just to, like, try it, and I was like, that ruined my coffee.

[C]

I've had. I've had all cashew, oat milk, hemp milk, almond milk.

[B]

I've only really had almond.

[C]

It's. It's just not milk. It like. It's like. There's no taste or flavoring to it. It's just white and smooth.

[B]

I mean, sometimes I would get an almond milk that would have, like, a vanilla in it, and that is no serious.

[C]

So the.

[B]

The.

[C]

We are myth busting here. I. I've had and will continue to have mustard incorporated into dishes, but not when it's, like, a player. You know what I'm saying? Like, not when it's, like, on the COVID of Madden.

[B]

So, like, you wouldn't do, like, a pretzel dipped into, like, a Dijon?

[C]

No way.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

But every time we've had Texas barbecue, the, like, the binder is mustard. Yeah. And, like, that doesn't bother me at all.

[B]

There's a ton of other in there too. Yeah. I love when there's, like, a peppery crust.

[C]

I'm gonna tell you right now, I recently was thinking about that Texas barbecue.

[B]

We had, and, man, I actually had a very good. I went to a steakhouse recently. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Now you're speaking my language.

[B]

And it was in midtown. So finance people, mind you, it's 1pm not my idea to go here, obviously, to go to a Steakhouse at 1pm but at a. At a steakhouse. Bunch of finance dudes there, Martinis, steaks. I'm like, how can I, like, wouldn't have survived that industry at all. But they had a bunch of these peppery crusts on these steaks. Oh, yeah. So good. And a lobster Mac and cheese that would make you take your head, pull it off, and suck your own wiener.

[C]

You don't have the, like, stomach strength for a lot of the best foods.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Call my doctor, tell him I don't need one now, since you're the one consistently making up stomach issues.

[C]

No, but, like, listen to what you just said. That sounds like the best lunch I've ever had. But if you went.

[B]

Such a heavy thing to eat.

[C]

Exactly. If you went and had a lunch that was martinis and steaks and lobster Mac and cheese and throw in dessert, you, as Joey, you would need to go lie down.

[B]

No, it's not about that.

[C]

It's about, like, this friend saying things. I'd walk out there and I'd be like, this is quite possibly the most energized I've ever felt in my entire life.

[B]

But eating that and then being like, I'm gonna have a dinner later is crazy to me.

[D]

Monday to Friday?

[C]

I mean, no, doing that every day is. That is crazy.

[B]

Yeah, you're sprinting. You're for it.

[C]

I mean, metabolism, brother. Like, I could eat a big lunch at 1pm A steak, whatever, and I will be ready for dinner at 5 or 6.

[B]

That's just. It's not, like, of interest. Like, it feels like that's a heavy thing.

[C]

And I think. I think that's. I think that's also. And, you know, jokes aside, like, the whole stomach thing, like, I think that's the difference for you is like, you're just like, oh, I'd rather not eat that and feel a little sluggish. But I'm like, I don't care.

[B]

It just strikes me as a dinner food.

[C]

Steak.

[B]

Like, yeah, like that meal.

[C]

Steak is universal, baby. Steak and eggs.

[B]

Yeah. I just.

[C]

You ever had steak and eggs?

[B]

I've had it.

[C]

Oh, it's not.

[B]

It's. I definitely wouldn't get that. Like, I feel like my meals need to be, like, light to heavy.

[C]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

Like the lightest stuff in the morning and then something else. And then the dinner one can be whatever, brother. Not super light.

[C]

But, you know, every single one of my meals could be like a fucking full diaper of baby shit.

[B]

I will say, when we're on the. We're on the road and we stop at a fucking Buc EE's, then I'm getting some brisket sandwiches, yo. Don't matter what time it is.

[C]

Those brisket and egg blew me away.

[B]

Shocked me. I didn't think it was going to be good at all.

[C]

Like, that whole experience. I'm not kidding. Listen, a lot of people can say a lot of things about America, especially today. Lord knows I do. Lord knows you don't. The, like, microcosm of, like, America is BUC EE's. It is.

[B]

That's what People probably view us as. Yeah.

[D]

And.

[C]

And honestly, I'm not ashamed of that because it's good food, it's reasonable prices, it's well paid employees, and a fat.

[B]

Ass wall of jerky.

[C]

And a brother and a beaver. A wall of jerky. What about the wall of sodas?

[B]

I missed that.

[C]

Yo, they had fountain sodas for days. Dude, when we were down there, you didn't see it was called, like, Big Red. No, that's like their drink in Texas. When we were at. When we were at the. The Pecan Lodge in. In Dallas, which, by the way, that was good. They're. They're like. They were like, oh, our drink of choice, like on the tap, they had two sections for Big Red. And it's just fruit punch soda.

[B]

They had a good candy section, too. Oh, what's that? Beaver tail? Beaver crunch.

[C]

Yeah, they're like little corn pops.

[B]

Yeah, those things are.

[C]

I'll tell you right now.

[D]

Beaver.

[B]

Beaver. What is it called?

[C]

Beaver nuggets.

[B]

Bucky's beaver.

[D]

Oh, the beaver nuggets.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What are those called?

[D]

Nuggets.

[C]

What?

[D]

Excuse me.

[C]

Bussy.

[D]

Bucky's Bussy.

[B]

No, it's a beaver nugget.

[C]

You know, a pussy. Right.

[D]

It's like a sweet little. It looks like a corn pop.

[B]

Yeah. Hello.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Beaver nuggets. That's what it is. Beaver nuggets. Corn puff snacks. They are so probably not good for you.

[C]

I mean, it's like fried.

[D]

I think it's just a puff. Syrup puff.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

14 sugars.

[C]

14 grams of sugar?

[B]

Yeah. And there's 13 serving sizes in the bag. I ate one. I ate. Well, I didn't eat the whole bag.

[C]

Half a bag.

[B]

I ate half a bag in the ride to, I don't know, maybe 15 minutes somewhere. That's a big bag, bro.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So.

[B]

No, I stopped for my health, not because I needed to.

[C]

When we got to wherever we were going next, you ran like three quarters of a marathon.

[B]

So I got to burn off this BUC EE's. But the BUC EE's. Yeah.

[C]

You've been to a Bucky's?

[D]

Hey, never.

[C]

I mean, we're gay Picky Boys. Picky Boys video. You go. You go to. Right to Buck.

[B]

There you go.

[D]

Could I was sent a Bucky's costume. The P.O. box.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You don't. That's good. You go to. Go to this. Just document the experience. Look, we're giving you free stuff here.

[B]

This is a great idea. You fly to Texas and then you go to as many Buckies as you can go to. In 24 hours.

[C]

I mean, that would be. That would be it. So we went to four.

[D]

You went to four.

[C]

You went to 4.

[B]

21.

[C]

Driving into Houston. Why?

[B]

Is a good question.

[C]

Why or why not, I think is the right question.

[B]

Or. Or did we know we were doing.

[C]

That is better, I think the first time. So we. We talked. Not talk, but, like, Zach was just like.

[B]

He was talking it up similar to.

[C]

What we were saying, but, like, he was all about it. And then on the drive, he was like, guys, we're passing a buc ee's on the drive from Dallas to Houston. And we were like, all right, whatever. Like, we'll stop to appease you. We walked in.

[B]

Blown away, bro.

[C]

Blown away.

[B]

The brisket's good.

[C]

It was hot biscuit on the board. It was a four hour drive or three and a half hours. What was it?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

We stopped at another one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And not like, oh, Frankie needs to stop. It was like. Everyone's just like, where is it? All right, there's another.

[B]

I miss.

[D]

And then two more.

[C]

And then leaving Houston to. To go to Austin. Yeah, two more.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And it. And I don't think that we realized that we had done that until it was over. I mean, like, we just did four.

[C]

So it became a problem when, like, the next morning, we were just like, we'll just go to Bucky's for breakfast.

[B]

Yeah, I would have if they had one up here. I'm telling you, dude.

[C]

Yo. I'm letting you know right now, that's one of those places I'm driving, experiencing traffic to go and experience like, you.

[B]

You should do that, though. That's a funny video.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Because you guys did it for. You did it for the Rainforest Cafe.

[B]

We did at hitting a Bucky's in Minnesota, right?

[D]

Yeah, Minneapolis. I spun a wheel.

[B]

If you find an area where there's, like, enough, like, within a, you know, reasonable driving distance, you could probably hit.

[C]

A bunch, I'm sure. Like, I think there's one in Florida, which is an easier drive than. I mean, easier fly than. Than Texas.

[B]

Also, great bathrooms.

[C]

They are literally award winning bathrooms.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Award winning.

[C]

Yes. They got recognized by, like, you know, like, rest stop Daily or something like that.

[D]

They're like a Michelin star outside the.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They have a car wash. They have a lot of different, like, gas pumps. So, like, they're there for the people. For the people.

[C]

I am looking up the closest Bucky's for you, but closest one is in.

[B]

Like, Tennessee, I think.

[D]

But every 15 minutes is there a thunderstorm?

[B]

Every 15 minutes there's a thunderstorm and fucking Rainforest Cafe.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That sucks. No one cares about.

[B]

Is it just lightning and nothing and the animals.

[C]

The closest Buc Ees is in Florence, South Carolina. And it is a. Let's say we were to drive from here. Let's say we were to drive from right here. That's a. It's a bit of a drive.

[B]

Nine, ten, ten and a half.

[C]

Yeah, but that flight is like our buck 20.

[B]

Yeah. If that. Dude.

[D]

Seeing if I could hit 10 Buc Ees in 24 hours, bro. Was that too.

[B]

With enough enthusiasm and gas, yeah.

[D]

All right.

[B]

I mean, I don't even know if that's true, but it would be something. But you got to get a brisket sandwich every time.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's really. I'm not even kidding.

[B]

Like. Or some jerky. Definitely some beef. Or not.

[D]

Now it sounds like something I send Danny to do.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, Danny would probably rip that place to shreds.

[C]

Place is amazing. And I'm gonna find a way to get back there soon.

[B]

I saw a bird in one.

[D]

That's cool.

[B]

Yeah. He just was, like, walking in and out near the exit because he knows what's going on.

[D]

What kind of bird.

[B]

It was like a pigeon.

[D]

That's cool.

[B]

But he was just like, you know, like, I know there's brisket in here.

[C]

I mean, if. If you're a bird, the place to live is buc ee's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, you got it. You gotta commit to it.

[B]

It's not a bang for your buck. I mean. Oh, my God. I didn't realize I said that.

[C]

Look at that. Bucky's. Hire the guy. Let's get a brand new yo. You think Bucky's will be a sponsor?

[B]

No, I don't think they need any more marketing like people. It's like a mythological, like creature.

[C]

Why don't we start a buc EE's up here?

[B]

Are they privately owned?

[C]

But can we be like, franchisees?

[B]

No, because it's privately owned.

[C]

So, like, hit up Mr. And Mrs. Bucky and be like, listen, my name is Joe Santa Gato. You might recognize me from my friend Joe Jonas. My friend Joe Jonas. People of the people of Walmart, version 28. And co host of the wildly popular and incredibly funny basement Yard. I am looking to expand my business empire. Now, the best way to do that.

[B]

Would be Gas station.

[C]

Gas station. To bring an iconic piece of the United States to the Northeast.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Let me introduce you to. And then you would pull a big, like. Like a sheet and you would have like a model. You know how they do that in those, like, movies and stuff like that. And be like Buc ee's of New York. And it would be a fucking one city block in Manhattan. And it's a Buc ee's and it's a five foot tall. No, five story tall, Buc ee's.

[B]

Five foot tall, Buckies.

[D]

You know how if you own that land, why even open it? Just the land is worth more at that point.

[B]

He's not thinking. Got it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not. You know how, like, the, like the garages in Manhattan have, like the garage. The bottom part is the parking garage. The bottom part will be all the gas station pumps. Yeah. First level, Bucky's brisket. Second level, merch. Third level, executive offices. Fourth and fifth hotel rooms. Buc ee's themed hotel rooms. We have an indoor pool on the roof.

[D]

That's not indoor.

[C]

On the roof in a bubble.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

But the bubble is shaped like Bucky the Beaver.

[D]

I'm in.

[C]

I. Whenever I have these business ideas, I surprise myself with how good they are.

[B]

Yeah, me too. I'm so surprised. But all that to say it's a lovely gas station and we're big fans. And I really would. I really honestly think it's one of the best breakfast sandwiches I've ever had. Like, it's definitely within my top five. Definitely crazy. Top seven, though. For sure.

[D]

Doesn't top seven just mean it's seventh?

[B]

It could be five to seven.

[C]

You know, I would say top five, the egg and brisket, breakfast burrito. Whatever. That was good, bro. It's good. And like, yo, you know how I feel about flour tortillas. It was a perfectly cooked flour tortilla.

[B]

I got mine in a bun.

[C]

Perfect.

[B]

So good. Anyway, that's all we have for you today. Oh, wait. This is the first episode of the new year, so welcome to 2026.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Happy new Year and stuff.

[C]

Happy New Year. Yeah, we tried talking about our resolutions. I want to call you a bitch less. That's what I. That's one of my ones I want to say. I want to use bitch directed at you less.

[B]

What a resolution.

[C]

I mean, I think it's something that I can work on.

[B]

How about not gonna hold my breath.

[D]

How about I tally it and every time you call him one on here, you owe him a hundred bucks.

[C]

A hundred bucks? Yeah.

[B]

That would keep him 10 bucks.

[D]

10 bucks.

[C]

10 bucks for every bitch. And then at the end of the year.

[D]

But you need a word too, Then.

[B]

What do I call you? A lot.

[C]

Well, we can't say those slurs on here.

[B]

Set that one right up.

[D]

Yep, yep. How about every time he points at you? 10 bucks.

[C]

Oh, that's a good one.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[C]

And then at the end of the year, you give it all to me. No, we'll give it all to.

[B]

We're just full of ideas on this show.

[C]

We'll give it all to charity.

[D]

Yes, of course. I like that.

[B]

The charity is named Frank Albert Charity.

[C]

For new collectibles, for new business ideas.

[B]

For opening up a BUC EE's in Manhattan.

[C]

All right, so it'll be the bitch count and the point count.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Love that.

[C]

I think you need to actually stay on top of it, though, too.

[D]

I will.

[B]

And then you gotta throw in $10 every time you fucking make some sexual remark over there. Glory holes over there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Pink panties.

[C]

Throw $10 down right now.

[D]

Yeah, that'd really be handcuffing me there.

[C]

Yeah, that's a sexual one, too horny.

[B]

$20.

[C]

He wants to be handcuffed. Yeah.

[B]

But that is all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you, the.

[C]

Frank Alvarez, on social media? Everywhere. And then make sure you check out TBY tour merch for any available pieces of our merch from our tour, if you want to try to get your hands on them.

[D]

And you can find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.

[B]

Ah, it's a new year.

[D]

It is a new year.

[B]

We're going to edit that out. Yeah, go follow me at Joe Sanigato in the basement yard.

[C]

Funny if someone just bleeped over what he said.

[B]

And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.