The Basement Yard #538 – Meet Us At The Bowling Alley
Date: January 19, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez with guest Antonio
Presented by: Santagato Studios
Episode Overview
In this high-energy episode, Joe, Frank, and Antonio return to their roots with a hilariously nostalgic, meandering conversation about bowling alleys, service jobs, childhood memories, weird internet content, and—inevitably—the anatomy of dads and professional tickling leagues. The trio’s blend of off-the-wall banter, personal stories, and playful debates creates a quintessential Basement Yard hour: irreverent, relatable, and unfiltered.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Old Bowling Alley Vibes & Childhood Memories
- Bowling Alley Atmosphere: The hosts fondly reminisce about the unique smell, dated carpets, and grimy magic of classic bowling alleys from the 1990s and 2000s.
- “The carpet was still the same carpet, you know, from the fucking 90s that smells like shit and had blood on it. Blood and spit, you know, and then it smelled like cigarettes and, you know, stale Coors Light.” (Joe, 39:33)
- Bowling Ball Anxieties: Frank and Joe discuss the strange sizing of bowling ball holes and joke about whose dad had thumbs big enough for the largest balls.
- “This is only for Joe’s dad’s thumb.” (Frank, 40:16)
2. Bowling Competitiveness & Technique
- Bowling Styles & Bragging Rights: The hosts tease Antonio about his two-handed bowling, talk about their own inconsistent skills, and recall mutual friends who bowled perfect games.
- “I'm either getting a strike or I'm not getting anything… I don't go for spare.” (Frank, 48:11)
- “Bowling is… that's a great first date thing.” (Joe, 41:41)
- Self-Deprecation: They admit mediocrity at bowling but debate who’d win in a friendly showdown.
- “I think I've bowled a one.” (Joe, 48:11)
3. Classic Bowling Alley Stories
- Getting Kicked Out: Joe recalls being (sort of) kicked out for walking too far onto the lane, while Frank shares a wild story about witnessing one man urinate on another in a bowling alley bathroom.
- “I saw another man piss on another man in the bathroom.” (Frank, 44:32)
- Bowling Alley Food: They rhapsodize about bowling alley hot dogs, snack stands, and the enduring appeal of cheap “snappy” franks with a side of nostalgia.
- “Those hot dogs might have awakened my hot dog loving ability.” (Frank, 57:59)
4. Weird Internet Content & TikTok Rabbit Holes
- Rapid-fire trading of favorite bizarre TikToks and internet videos: a sand-throwing “sand guy,” an Asian performer straining his face and opening beer bottles with body parts, and various music/art performance oddities.
- “The world is a weird place. The more that you kind of, like, start to pick it apart.” (Frank, 16:26)
5. Tickling, Torture, and Business Ideas
- Professional Tickling League: A recurring, mock business pitch about a competitive tickling league, with the hosts debating its viability and potential as an “elevated horror movie.”
- “It’s like the MMA, but it’s tickling.” (Frank, 09:13)
- Tickle Monster Concept: Frank’s pitch for a horror allegory film using the “tickle monster” as a metaphor for humor as a defense mechanism is quickly derailed and mocked.
- “There is a physical tickle monster, but it has to do with our society's necessity to use humor as a defense mechanism.” (Frank, 13:08)
6. Service Industry Real Talk
- First Jobs & Service Stories: Antonio shares stories from pizza delivery, including getting tipped $100 by a woman in a robe and a “ghost pizza” (an empty box).
- “On Valentine's Day, someone in a robe with nothing underneath gave me $100.” (Antonio, 60:58)
- Pizza Delivery Disasters: Both Joe and Antonio recall mishaps like dropped pizzas and weird customers.
- The Value of Service Jobs: Frank and Joe agree everyone should work a service job once for perspective.
- “I think it gives you perspective, you know, with what people have to deal with.” (Joe, 65:47)
7. Customer Reviews, Yelp, and Criticism
- Debating Leaving Reviews: Spirited argument about the morality and usefulness of leaving negative reviews, with Frank reading his own (embarrassing) 1-star review about unsauced wings.
- Frank’s review, 87:03:
“Second time in a row that they didn’t sauce the wings. It’s been a recurring issue and I gave it one more shot after last time… unfortunately, I'll no longer be ordering from [restaurant]. I would give it zero stars if I could.”
- Frank’s review, 87:03:
- Review Guilt: They discuss the difference between constructive feedback and being needlessly harsh or self-important.
- “The general feeling of people who leave like detailed reviews is like, very pretentious to me.” (Joe, 78:29)
Memorable Quotes & Moments
-
On Bowling Alleys:
“Bowling alleys are such a piece of shit. But they’re so magical.”
— Frank @39:20 -
On Classic Shoes:
“What is the reason why bowling shoes need to look like… it’s gotta do with Frankenstein version of a shoe.”
— Joe @42:24 -
On Dad Dick Discourse:
“This hole in this bowling ball reminds me of Joe’s dad’s dad.”
— Frank @40:31 -
On Working a Service Job:
“I think it gives you perspective, you know, with what people have to deal with.”
— Joe @65:47 -
On Negative Yelp Reviews:
Frank, reading his own:
“Empanadas and yuca fries were solid, but everything else was flavorless and bland. That was bad. Who does that help? That was country. That was bad.”
— Frank @88:40 -
On Being a Pizza Delivery Guy:
“On Valentine’s Day, someone in a robe with nothing underneath gave me $100.”
— Antonio @60:58 -
On Tickle Torture:
“Do you think that there’s ever been like a torture session where they tickled some information out of someone?”
— Joe @09:55
Important Segment Timestamps
- 00:30 – 11:18: Merch, clothing sizes, nipple pain, Ren & Stimpy nipple talk, fish biting nipples
- 13:20 – 18:46: Professional tickling league, tickle monster horror movie
- 19:42 – 22:32: Strange viral video content descriptions
- 38:48 – 43:12: Bowling nostalgia, bowling alley foods, weird stories
- 47:15 – 54:23: Bowling skills, bowling etiquette, first date “rules”
- 58:00 – 65:38: First jobs, pizzeria work, hot dog nostalgia
- 65:47 – 74:21: Service industry lessons, customers, takeout “travels badly,” review guilt
- 87:03 – 90:11: Frank reads his negative wing review, gets roasted
Tone and Style Notes
- The tone is irreverent and playful, with relentless ribbing and side-tracking.
- Discussions jump from absurdity (tickle MMA/monster movies) to authentic glimpses of blue-collar youth and the challenges of service work.
- Joe and Frank’s chemistry is on full display, effortlessly ping-ponging between jokes and mini-serious insights.
Summary
“Meet Us At The Bowling Alley” is The Basement Yard at its best: nostalgic, idiotic, loving, and raw. From the faded glamour of bowling alleys to the unfiltered world of pizza delivery and TikTok absurdities, the hosts turn every mundane topic (and every digression) into a comedic highlight reel. Their stories—about dads, service jobs, wings, reviews, and the merits of being bullied and tickled—are a reminder that no topic is too trivial or too weird for a lively, laugh-filled Basement Yard session.
Next episode tease: More shenanigans—maybe even a Santa Gato Studios bowling video.
For more, follow the hosts:
- Joe Santagato – @joesantagato
- Frank Alvarez – @thefrankalvarez
- The Basement Yard on TikTok & Instagram