#540 - We Were Nominated

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #540: "We Were Nominated"

Release date: February 2, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Guest/Producer: Ant

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Overview

This episode of The Basement Yard captures Joe, Frank, and Ant at their rambunctious, sharply comedic best, riffing through personal anecdotes, wild tangents, petty bickering, and their signature mix of raunchy humor and self-deprecation. The main throughline—and ultimate celebratory subject—is the announcement that they’ve been nominated for two iHeartRadio Podcast Awards (“Best Comedy Podcast” and “Best Overall Ensemble”). The episode also features lively discussion about Backstreet Boys, boy band beef, drone paranoia, weird sleep habits, skincare woes, and fan engagement.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wearing Inappropriate Shirts & Gym Fashion

[01:04–02:20]

• Frank sports a hat from the minor league team "the Hops," prompting banter about his tradition of promoting random brands (and his infamous "butcher shirt" with graphic illustrations).
• They question appropriate places to wear a “balls-on-the-back” shirt (at home, gym, or only on the podcast set).
• Frank: “If I have a shirt that has balls on it, I’m wearing it somewhere. But this comedy podcast... is probably the safest place.”

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2. Friendly Rivalry and Body-Shaming

[02:28–04:31, 08:07–09:14, 41:00–42:18]

• Joey and Frank demand Ant settle the “who has the better ass” debate.
  • Ant: “It’s probably Frankie.” Joey, incredulous: “Stick. Be a man.”
• Ant describes Joey’s behind as “It’s there” which becomes a running joke.
• They mock each other about body insecurities—Joey later references being body-shamed and Ant’s “double dog pile” (later, also involving micro penis jokes and self-deprecation).
• Frank: “You always act like this big ogre. It’s ridiculous.”
  Joey: “First of all, you’re a good looking guy.”

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3. Generational Banter: The “Greatest Generation”

[03:41–04:46]

• Jokey reflection on the “Greatest Generation,” WWII, and Baby Boomers:
  • Frank: “They came home from war and guess what they did? They fucked.”
  • Joey: “Got after it like rabbits.”

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4. Modern Paranoia: The Drone Outside Joey’s Window

[05:03–12:03]

• Joey recounts a movie-style drone floating near his high-rise apartment, scaring him into thinking of aliens.
• Frank shares about conspiracy-hunting with his wife, Becca.
• A humorous debate ensues on what to do—call the cops or let it go?
  • Frank: “You would call the cops? This kid’s Karen.”
  • Joey deflects: “There’s a drone at my window and I’m a million feet in the air!”
• Jokes escalate about possible footage of Joey naked:
  • Frank: “Maybe they were just like, it’s TMZ—they’re after you.”
  • Joey: “If you’re gonna use my yang in a movie, I should get something for sure.”

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5. Sleep and Skincare Oddities

[12:03–16:36]

• The trio discusses their night routines.

  • Ant: “I always sleep in socks.” Joey, aghast, calls it “psych ward” behavior.

• On extreme cold rooms:

  • Joey: “Being in [Espo’s] house is a cold plunge.”
  • Frank: “Maybe cold keeps your skin tight... or dries it out. Somebody tell us the science.”

• Skincare practices:

  • Frank & Ant use products but not routinely.
  • Joey used to—until he got eye cream in his eye and needed steroids (“Twins! My dog also needed steroids!”).

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6. YouTube, Monetization, & Boy Band Copyright Drama

[18:19–25:55, 39:11–40:50]

• Ant reveals one video lost monetization due to a Simlish (Sims-language) Backstreet Boys parody, causing fake outrage at paying royalties.

  • Frank: “We’re drug mules for their music. Now they’re taking our cash too.”
  • Joey: “If we did it so well that we’re paying you... Let us get our money’s worth. Let us on stage!”

• Spirals into a detailed, genuinely impassioned, and tongue-in-cheek riff about finally meeting—and performing with—the Backstreet Boys as payback.

• Later, lighthearted anxiety about potentially offending YouTube’s CEO (Neil), with playful narrative shifts (“I’m a victim of a patriarchal society!”).

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7. Fan Campaign: Basement Boys Pitch Themselves To Backstreet Boys

[25:16–38:42]

• Pitch to be called on stage at a Backstreet Boys concert to perform.
  • Joey: “If you’re gonna take the money, we want to sing the song on stage... Not the whole song. Just want to get a couple notes.”
  • Frank: “If anything, we're more from the back street than you. We're Basement Backstreet Boys.”
• They joke about wardrobe (“puffer vests and baggy pants”), choreography, and needing special gear.
• Spirals into a hypothetical “boy band beef” if NSYNC outbids BSB—“Triple B: 2026 Boy Band Beef.”

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8. The iHeartRadio Podcast Award Nominations

[50:13–56:14]

• Big reveal: The podcast was nominated for Best Comedy Podcast and Best Overall Ensemble at the iHeartRadio Podcast Awards.
  • Joey: “I didn’t think we were an ensemble. That feels like we’re doing a dance.”
  • Ant points out competition are trios, not duos—another running joke about whether Ant “tips the scales.”
• Humble, appreciative tone about being nominated among “juggernauts” like Amy Poehler and the cast of Smartless.
  • Frank: “Just being in the conversation is cool.”
  • Joey: “All jokes aside… Not something I thought was possible.”

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9. Patreon, Fan Goals & Outrage Marketing

[34:38, 62:24–74:51]

• Frank heavily plugs their Patreon, riffing with absurd metaphors (“Check out what’s under the blanket!”).
• Considering new Patreon stretch goals—reviving stunts like Edward 40 Hands, Shock Collar Trivia, and extreme punishments.
  • Frank: “If you argue against it, you’re racist.” (about raising a goal to 42,000 for Jackie Robinson—a tongue-in-cheek push).
  • Recap of their “Jackass-era” eggs and tape-suit stunts, the pain and rashes involved, and the idea to let Ant invent a new punishment for Joey.

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10. Meta-Humor and Bullshitting Each Other

Throughout episode

• Classic Basement Yard vibe persists—false bravado, complaint, pointed finger tallies (Joey’s hand movements earning Ant cash), and ever-present “thin (ice)” jokes.
  • Joey: “I might throw up on that stage.”
  • Ant: “Be careful how good it gets. We’re gonna owe them money.”
• Quick detour into playground/punishment stories, Italian dad discipline, and how parenting has evolved (now, “psychological catfishing” is the joke).
• End on a “drunk but not really” sleepiness, light bullying, and warm thanks to the community.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On body shaming:
  Joey: “Tell me something negative about my ass.”
  Ant: “It’s there.” [03:19]

• On drone scare:
  Joey: “I mean, if they were like, spying on me, who’s to say they weren’t? Those drones have pretty good camera and zoom capabilities.” [07:34]

• On the Simlish copyright:
  Frank: “The Backstreet Boys flagged you for singing their song in Simlish?”
  Ant: “Swear to God.” [19:16]

• On performing with boy bands:
  Joey: “If we did it so well that we’re paying you... Let us get our money’s worth. Let us get up there and sing.” [22:29]
  Frank: “If anything, we’re more from the back street than you. We’re basement Backstreet Boys.” [24:13]

• On being nominated:
  Frank: “All jokes aside, we were just talking—we started talking about Joey’s tiny wiener, and now we’re nominated for awards.” [52:03]
  Joey: “It’s really cool to get that recognition… not something that we ever expected, to be honest. All this is pretty unexpected.” [78:59]

• On YouTube’s CEO:
  Joey: “Women can’t be CEOs—no, they can and should be. I believe the CEO of YouTube is a woman, if I’m not mistaken. Cancel him!” [39:12]

• On stunts:
  Frank: “If you argue against it, you’re racist. For 42,000—for Jackie Robinson. Now, if you say no, then you’re—” [62:59]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:30 – Show starts, banter about hats, shirts, gym attire
• 02:28 – The “better ass” debate, body-shaming jokes
• 05:03 – Joey’s drone scare & “Karen” debates
• 10:21 – “See something, say something” NYC & paranoia
• 12:03 – Sleeping in socks / room temperature / skincare routines
• 18:19 – Simlish Backstreet Boys parody, losing YouTube monetization
• 25:16 – Backstreet Boys segment, campaign to perform on stage
• 39:11 – CEO of YouTube jokes (Neil)
• 50:13 – The big reveal: iHeart Award nominations
• 62:24 – Return to Patreon, stunts, and egg pelting stories
• 73:35 – Old stunts and new possible punishments
• 78:32 – Heartfelt “thank you” to fans

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Tone & Style

Loosely structured, rapid-fire, profane but warm, self-mocking, always ready for a tangent or to undercut their own self-importance. The guys veer from staged bits to off-kilter philosophy, and back to rabid clowning on each other with an undercurrent of genuine affection and surprise at their achievements.

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Summary

Episode 540 of The Basement Yard is a quintessential deep-dive into the friend group’s psyche: bickering about butts, bodies, and boys, riffing on internet fame, obsessing over the Backstreet Boys, lampooning themselves and each other, and capping things off with honest appreciation for fan support after major award nominations.

If you tune in for unfiltered friendship, irreverent humor, and the feeling of being in a room with the funniest people you know, this episode delivers—especially if you’re rooting for the boys as they shoot their shot with both iHeartRadio and their favorite ‘90s boy bands.

Transcript

[Joey]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Frank]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contact contacts.

[Joey]

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going?

[Frank]

Good, right? You better. What better?

[Ant]

Did you answer for me?

[Joey]

He said great.

[Frank]

Yeah, I guess I also said better than innocent than good.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

All right, dude, start again.

[Joey]

Start again.

[Frank]

Take and go.

[Joey]

How's it going, Frank?

[Frank]

All right, Ant.

[Ant]

Good.

[Joey]

I don't even. What are we doing?

[Frank]

What's happening? All right, let me start it.

[Joey]

We're done with the opening. Come on.

[Frank]

You're meant to.

[Joey]

What's that hat, by the way?

[Frank]

This is a minor league team. They're the Hops.

[Joey]

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

[Frank]

Isn't that cool?

[Joey]

It's kind of cool. I like that.

[Frank]

Oh, they're so pumped right now. They're getting free plugs.

[Joey]

Yeah. How's your butcher gonna feel about this? Because you love promoting that.

[Frank]

You know what? Listen, I. I am.

[Joey]

Wasn't the butcher shirt like. It was like a bulwark's balls out of it.

[Frank]

Yeah, I remember a lot of balls. Y. There were. There were big, fat ant sized balls. No, not that big.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah. Nothing is nothing.

[Frank]

I mean, now is this. I wear that pretty much exclusively to the gym. Is that better or worse?

[Joey]

You're putting balls on your back in public, so worse. Is it on the front or the back?

[Frank]

It's on the back. So the front is the front of the bowl and he's just like, oh, the back is his and the back is his balls. Yeah, his ass and balls.

[Joey]

Yeah. I'd say that's pretty bad.

[Frank]

Really?

[Joey]

Feels like an indoor. It feels like a at home shirt.

[Frank]

I feel like that's worse because I have young kids. So where am I going to wear this shirt if not at the. If I have a shirt that has balls on it, I'm wearing it somewhere.

[Joey]

We have a different opinion.

[Frank]

We have a different opinion. Have you ever had like a. I'll do one better.

[Joey]

Probably wouldn't wear it at home either.

[Frank]

Yeah, I. That's what I just said. Because I have kid. I don't So I pretty much don't wear it ever.

[Joey]

Just on the show, just.

[Frank]

Well, where else? I mean, if. If I'm going to express.

[Joey]

Balls.

[Frank]

No, I. You know, I said express, then I felt like, what am I trying to express here? If I'm gonna get a shirt that has balls on it, where else am I gonna wear it? But this comedy podcast where the people wash, they also.

[Ant]

They also don't see Frankie from the back too often on here.

[Joey]

That is fair. Why'd you say it so sexy?

[Frank]

That was.

[Joey]

You don't see Frankie from the back.

[Frank]

Oh, this is a guy who's. You're still. You're still in a heated rivalry. The way he said that, he's just like, who do you think's got a.

[Joey]

Better ass, me or Frank?

[Frank]

Come on now. Come on.

[Joey]

Don't, don't. Don't swing.

[Frank]

Don't.

[Ant]

It's probably Frankie.

[Joey]

Okay, look, I'm just. I'll let you be your person, make your decision.

[Ant]

It's probably Frankie.

[Joey]

All right? Why are you saying probably? Stick. Be a man.

[Ant]

It's Frankie.

[Frank]

Thank you. Fuck. But why, though? Yeah, tell us why.

[Joey]

Tell me something negative about my ass.

[Ant]

There's nothing negative about your ass. His ass just a little more voluptuous.

[Frank]

Okay? Voluptuous. He's making up words.

[Joey]

Yeah, voluptuous isn't a word, buddy.

[Ant]

Mm.

[Joey]

But what. How would you describe my ass and, like, give me, like, two adjectives?

[Ant]

It's there.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, get them. Get him.

[Joey]

What the fuck?

[Frank]

You heard that shit, right?

[Joey]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

He just body shamed his boss.

[Joey]

It's there, you know? Where else would it be?

[Frank]

It can't be over there.

[Joey]

It's gotta be here.

[Frank]

What happened to the respect that kids used to have for their employers? What happened back in your day? Which I don't. I think you and I agree. That was the greatest generation.

[Ant]

Which.

[Frank]

The second greatest. The greatest was World War II.

[Joey]

Like, what are we talking about?

[Frank]

Which. Which part of World War II generation of good people. They call themselves the greatest generation.

[Joey]

Yeah. They were self programmed.

[Frank]

Programmed?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Into saying they were the greatest generation. Yeah. What Cocky bitches.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

It's kind of crazy just being like, well, that was the greatest generation.

[Joey]

Was that after the Depression?

[Frank]

Yes, it was.

[Joey]

I mean, it's easy when you do contrast like that.

[Frank]

I mean, you can just look at pure numbers and see that. Like, I guess U. S. Got involved in 41.

[Joey]

If we start getting into this stuff.

[Frank]

I think that was when Pearl harbor was bombed. So 41 and then 45. It was over. So, yeah. And then after that, the boomers. That's the baby boomers. That's what our parents generation is. Because they came home from war and guess what they did? They fucked.

[Joey]

Got after it like rabbits.

[Frank]

Like absolute jackrabbits.

[Joey]

I mean, these like Rosenhoff and Hollander.

[Frank]

Bang.

[Joey]

Bringing it back. Well, I'm trying to capitalize on this.

[Frank]

Audience as much as I can. Clearly. You keep bringing it up, it's interesting. And then you're asking Ant to rate your ass weekly still.

[Joey]

Where do you think I measure?

[Frank]

We're gonna have to record that episode. Everyone take it easy, all right? We're not talking about it. Yeah.

[Joey]

By the way, I don't know if we. I don't know why I'm bringing this up now, but yesterday I got the shit scared out of me because I was like in my living room and I live on a high floor. Not a flex, but just reality for me.

[Frank]

Definitely a flex, but also a flex.

[Joey]

Giant, like movie style drone outside my window. Scared the fuck out of me.

[Frank]

I mean, that's illegal, brother.

[Joey]

It wasn't like right outside my window. Like, it was kind of like. But it was mad big. I thought it was an animal or I thought alien little ship. I felt like you like, you know, in Jersey remembering you guys had all the drones or whatever.

[Frank]

Oh, I didn't see any, personally.

[Joey]

Oh, really?

[Frank]

No, I didn't see any. Which it said that was a year ago and it feels like it was fucking decades ago. But like, personally, I didn't see any. And you best believe that because I didn't see any. I said everyone was lying.

[Joey]

Got it.

[Frank]

You know, not with these eyes. Didn't fucking.

[Joey]

Did you not get in your car and drive around?

[Frank]

And so we did. Becca and I did. And she was just like, you know, like, she, she, she's. She subscribes a little more to like, conspiracies and stuff like that.

[Joey]

It's like a cloud. What is that?

[Frank]

Yeah, well, there was no. There was one night where her and I drove around and she was just like, there it is. Oh, my God. You know, like, it was like she was excited and they're like, oh, no.

[Joey]

Like they're seeing.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

But yeah, the drone scared the fuck out of me.

[Frank]

Dude, that. That is like, legitimately creepy. Because windows, brother. Yeah.

[Joey]

I mean, it wasn't like, you don't.

[Frank]

Have a terrace, right? No. That'd be so cool up there. It would be, but so dangerous up there, bro.

[Joey]

It gets windy up there. I can hear the wind against my windows. I'M like, who the is out on their terrace right now, bro? You're.

[Frank]

Once you buy, like, a home on, like, 2, 300 acres, you're just going to be like, yo, this is so much sicker than living 95 stories in the air.

[Joey]

I do like it. I mean, I'm not on the 95th floor. That's a little crazy.

[Frank]

93Rd, whatever.

[Joey]

No, not going to say the number, but. No, but it, like, scared me. Like, it was probably, like, a good 200 yards away. So it wasn't, like, at my window.

[Frank]

Was it, like, interacting with you? Like, were you, like.

[Joey]

No, it was like, there.

[Frank]

I think I took a video of.

[Joey]

It so you can see how far away it was. But you saw it before you heard it.

[Ant]

Like, you saw it.

[Frank]

I didn't hear it.

[Ant]

You didn't hear it? Yeah.

[Joey]

So look, you see the size of this thing? Like, it was like a big one.

[Frank]

Yo, how far away is that?

[Joey]

I zoomed. It was like there. So it was like, kind of in front of the next building over, but I was like, what? What's going on?

[Frank]

Yo, that's scary because, like, it was.

[Joey]

There for a while.

[Frank]

What if you were naked?

[Joey]

I don't care. I mean, if they were, like, spying.

[Frank]

On me, I mean, who's to say they weren't? Those drones have pretty good camera and zooming capabilities. You know, maybe they were just like, it's tmz. They're after you.

[Joey]

They. Why are you talking about zoom? Well, you're trying to disrespect me.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm just saying, like, sometimes you need a little help in order to see something from a distance.

[Joey]

Like a. Like a.

[Frank]

Like a. I mean, you know, like a telescope.

[Ant]

The Hubble.

[Joey]

Now we're getting even further.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm not saying the Hubble telescope.

[Joey]

You shut up over there.

[Frank]

I spoke to him.

[Joey]

First my ass, now my dick.

[Frank]

You're fucking. You're beating both those to shreds today.

[Ant]

Sorry.

[Joey]

Yeah, it.

[Frank]

I think, like, that, you know, it would need just.

[Joey]

Just.

[Frank]

Just to make the distinction. If they can't zoom in on you, then you're just white guy number 48 that they're spying on. But then once they zoom in, you know, as close as they could get, and they go, that's Joe.

[Joey]

Hey, buddy.

[Frank]

I. To your face, dude.

[Joey]

I've been. I've been double body shamed. And we are nine minutes into an episode. Maybe eight minutes.

[Frank]

Let me just be very clear about something.

[Joey]

Shamed my body.

[Frank]

I am not sham you in any capacity. I Did I did this like looking at your face. If you feel that me making that.

[Joey]

What a weasel. You're weaseling out.

[Frank]

Shaming. Then maybe you have something to be ashamed of. Maybe you're projecting the shame that you have for your body upon me. He. He straight up shamed you.

[Joey]

He's throwing you under the bus and he's weaseling.

[Ant]

I don't want to be this guy. But you did just point at him.

[Frank]

Thank you.

[Joey]

Whatever. Run it up to hit you.

[Frank]

How much dollars are we at?

[Ant]

He's at 40 bucks.

[Frank]

That's not bad. That's $40 I didn't have before.

[Joey]

That's how that works.

[Frank]

Wait, so. So did you didn't call? Because, brother, I would have been on the phone with the cops. What do you mean? Karen?

[Joey]

You would call the cops? This kid's Karen. Karen. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Frank]

You are Karen.

[Joey]

Yeah. Yes.

[Frank]

Reporter. Reviewer. How the fuck are we getting to a place you order food at fucking 40 miles away? How are we getting to a place in society where. Where reporting a crime. Put that fucking phone down. Put that phone down.

[Joey]

There's a couple of kids outside. They're making a racket.

[Frank]

No, that's a difference between. Excuse me, police. Guess what? There's a drone at my window and I'm fucking 100 million feet in the air. There's a difference. Reporting. That doesn't make me a Karen.

[Joey]

You're.

[Frank]

You know what you're doing? You see what you're doing? Now you're. Now you're. Now you're ethically shaming me. He's body shaming you, so you're ethically shaming me because I have standards.

[Joey]

You're creating terms.

[Frank]

Put the phone out. Police.

[Joey]

Someone is violating the airspace. This is not allowed. And I heard a firework back there. Maybe we should put some kids in jail, Bro.

[Frank]

Do you remember what happened in 2001?

[Joey]

What are you referring to?

[Frank]

We grew up in a time where it has been pushed upon us. See something, say something. That communal camaraderie in New York City has potentially prevented numerous attacks from happening. We don't know. We don't see the numbers. But I respect that. Seeing something, saying something did something.

[Joey]

They were probably filming a movie or something.

[Frank]

So then you should get your. Your paycheck.

[Joey]

I'm not in it. I mean, if they were filming me, maybe they were.

[Frank]

That's what I'm saying. How do you know they weren't?

[Joey]

I guess I'll. I'll send them a cease and desist. If I see the movie and I'm like, hey, that's my ding dong. Although I wasn't walking around my.

[Frank]

So what you're gonna split the profits with if it's a. A movie from a Disney because you're in the back just dick in the wind in your apartment? Is that how that works? You'll just send, like, you get to split the profits? Like, now you and Disney make 50% of this. Of this movie.

[Joey]

50 is crazy. But I think that, like, if you're gonna use my yang, then I should get something for sure.

[Frank]

How much is your yang worth?

[Joey]

It really depends how close I got. You know what I mean?

[Frank]

You're doing it.

[Joey]

No, I'm saying, like, if it's. If it's that visible and I'm in a movie.

[Frank]

Like, if they can make out the scar tissue on there.

[Joey]

The scar tissue.

[Ant]

Wow.

[Joey]

What do you think has happened to my.

[Frank]

I don't know what happens. Well, I mean, you clearly so ashamed of it. I don't know if you take like a bamboo stick and just fucking whack at it or something.

[Joey]

A bamboo stick? How. How. What are you. How did you grow up masturbating?

[Frank]

Bamboo stick with my.

[Joey]

A panda.

[Frank]

I'm saying that you are clearly projecting the shame that you have for your indiscriminately sized wiener.

[Joey]

I also was not walking around naked in my living room. I don't do that. Do you guys walk around? Well, you don't walk around naked. You hate being naked.

[Frank]

I do hate being naked, but I got a house, so I use, like, I explore the space naked sometimes, not a lot.

[Joey]

Your bedroom?

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

Yeah. Do you walk around naked?

[Ant]

I'm pretty much always in my underwear. I can't really be naked because I got other people in the house that just barge in.

[Joey]

You're always in your underwear?

[Ant]

Pretty much.

[Joey]

That's all of us. Oh, just underwear?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Do you walk around barefoot or you leave your socks on?

[Ant]

I leave my socks on for everything.

[Joey]

For everything is so crazy.

[Frank]

I throw that in. We know what you're talking about. You referenced.

[Joey]

Wait, you sleep in your socks?

[Frank]

Yeah, I sleep in my socks too. Don't worry about it. We're together. Yeah.

[Joey]

You guys sleep in your socks?

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

Double sock sleeps.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Yo, what are we doing? You guys don't get overheated?

[Frank]

No, actually, if anything, I feel it regulates my temperature better because if they're off, I'm more likely to get cold than if they're on being more likely to get hot.

[Joey]

Forget regulated. You guys should be medicated.

[Frank]

I don't.

[Joey]

Psych ward.

[Frank]

I actually. I have heard that it is, like, conducive to sleeping better wearing socks, because, like I said, it regulates your temperature when you sleep. I also live with. Oh, my God. I love Becca so much. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Joey]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

She likes the room cold and.

[Joey]

Oh, so your feet get.

[Frank]

I mean, it could be. I get a little. I mean, I'm. I'm a heat rock, but, like. Yes, it could get a little chilly.

[Joey]

You'd rather it be hot?

[Frank]

I would rather be hot than cold.

[Ant]

No, but you could always be more hot. Like, you can't. Like, you could put on blankets. You can't. You know what I'm saying?

[Frank]

Yeah. No, but then I can just put on clothes.

[Joey]

But if you're too hot.

[Ant]

But if you're too hot, you can't take off more skin. You can't take off skin. You can't take off more.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, if I'm too hot, then I just take off the clothing I'm wearing.

[Ant]

Yeah, but what.

[Joey]

But what if it's continuously getting hot now?

[Ant]

What?

[Frank]

Well, then. Then there's a fire in the house because we have. We have a working air conditioning unit.

[Joey]

I love sleeping in a cold room. If it was snowing, I'd prefer that.

[Frank]

I mean, that's crazy. We know someone that is like that, like, legitimately, like Espo's place. I remember his bedrooms. Yo, not even kidding.

[Joey]

Don't. Even.

[Frank]

50 degrees.

[Joey]

Espo's parents.

[Frank]

The fact that their energy bill is not through the fucking roof.

[Joey]

The energy bill. How are they alive? How are they surviving in that house?

[Frank]

Well, there's got to be some science on 13. There's got to be some science behind. A lot has come out about people doing cold plunges and stuff like that.

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, being in their house. Is a cold plunge.

[Frank]

The closest thing to a cold plunge.

[Joey]

Their cottage or whatever.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joey]

And I would come in from jumping in the lake, and then I get inside and be like, I have literally instant hypothermia in this house.

[Frank]

Yo, get me a blanket. It gets cold. Maybe a colder. Maybe colder conditions are better on the skin. I don't know.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's. I think it keeps your skin tight.

[Frank]

It keeps it tight and hydrated because. Well, maybe it dries it out. I'm not sure. But I'm saying that there's possibly some science someone could tell us.

[Joey]

Do you have a face routine? Like. What's that called?

[Frank]

The hell was that?

[Joey]

Not a face routine.

[Ant]

Skincare.

[Joey]

Skincare routine. Face.

[Frank]

I don't Have a routine. I have been provided some products by some lovely companies that every now and then I'll be like, you know.

[Joey]

Oh, but you don't do it every single night.

[Frank]

No, no, no.

[Joey]

Do you?

[Ant]

Sometimes.

[Frank]

So same answer as me.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

What do you got from the PO Box? A few times I've gotten like a bunch of skincare stuff, like face masks and like the under eye pasties thing.

[Frank]

Oh, oh, you get these.

[Joey]

You know, you put them on.

[Frank]

I'll be honest, I actually pretty much like never use the face stuff. Now that I think about it, it's more the hand stuff. I'm more worried about my hands being dry.

[Joey]

You are big on your hands.

[Frank]

I am.

[Joey]

You lick them like a cat. We've gone over that.

[Frank]

We don't have to.

[Joey]

I know, but I just.

[Frank]

I don't like, use much of the face stuff really.

[Joey]

I use a. I use a moisturizer. There's some stuff that I have that I used to use a lot, but I stopped using it because I don't know if you guys noticed back there. I mean, I did talk about on the show, but my eye was fucked up for like a month because I got some cream in it and then I got like a little thing and it took forever to clear up and I needed steroids. But also my dog had something wrong with his eye. Also he needed steroids. Twins. Why are you guys smiling?

[Ant]

It's him, not me.

[Frank]

What I do.

[Joey]

Why are you laughing? Because I said steroids.

[Frank]

Yeah, that's why I'm laughing. I'm not laughing at all. I'm just. I'm listening.

[Joey]

I looked at him like, wait till I say something. I'm a little sneaky.

[Frank]

Little. No, no, I'm just.

[Joey]

You.

[Frank]

You expressed that you had something get in your eye and it it up and you needed medication.

[Joey]

Oh, I see. I see. I see what's going on now. And you're laughing. Strike three for you, buddy. I'm telling your dad literally in person the next time I see him, which will be in a year, I think. But I'm. I'm going to tell him, not less.

[Frank]

Couple months maybe.

[Joey]

We don't know. I don't even know what he meant by that.

[Ant]

That's another point, unfortunately.

[Joey]

Yo.

[Frank]

You. The.

[Joey]

The ice that you're on is literally.

[Frank]

I think this episode is just. You're dedicated to rage baiting Joey. We're just getting him at.

[Joey]

I can't even talk about using eye cream without you being like, oh, yeah, I did it.

[Frank]

I looked over eye cream or a Guy's cream.

[Joey]

I know that's what you're saying.

[Frank]

I did not say that.

[Joey]

You're insinuating.

[Frank]

You're projecting your insecurities about your sexuality upon me. Stop using therapy speak. I, I, I am affronted. Gather yourself. I have been sitting here trying to establish decorum and speak with aplomb on this episode, and you're sitting here, you know, doing all this.

[Ant]

That's another one.

[Joey]

I'm gonna come over there and snap the computer.

[Frank]

I looked over at it, and I saw him go like this. That's what he did. That's what he did.

[Joey]

No, that's Josh, that's something you do.

[Frank]

No, it is not.

[Ant]

That's another one.

[Frank]

Josh, show the clip. A lot of pointing.

[Joey]

Let me find out that.

[Ant]

That's another one.

[Joey]

I'm a prisoner in my own studio. This place sucks. I hate this place.

[Frank]

I, I, I looked over at him and my laughing was more of a sense of, that's inappropriate. Be respectful. Then it was like, yeah, he maybe did get a load in his eye.

[Joey]

Shut up. And you shut up. And I'm pointing at both you. Mark it down. I don't care. What else do we have to talk about?

[Ant]

I don't know if this will upset you or not, but one of the Senegal Studios videos, we lost some monetization. Well, actually, we're giving it to somebody else right now.

[Joey]

Oh, what does that even begin to mean?

[Frank]

Also, why are we talking about this on the podcast?

[Ant]

Oh, I was gonna explain that the reason is because you guys sung Backstreet Boys so well that it was flagged.

[Frank]

Wait, when did we sing Backstreet Boys?

[Ant]

In the misheard music video, when you were singing in simish.

[Frank]

Oh, when we were like, what is that? Tell me. Dry Simish? Yeah, it's the language from the Sims.

[Joey]

Oh, bro, I thought that was, like, a.

[Frank]

You ever played the Sims?

[Joey]

Like, you were singing in simish? I thought that was, like, a word.

[Frank]

I used to play the Sims.

[Joey]

I love. I've never played the Sims, but you can, like, build a house and people die, and then, like, yeah, you, like.

[Frank]

Don'T put a door in a room, and then they sit there, they cry, they die.

[Joey]

I've seen people, like, put their dogs in a fire. I'm like, what is this?

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, that's the, that's the bad parts of life that you don't want to interact.

[Joey]

Don't love that.

[Frank]

Wait, what?

[Joey]

So wait, we're giving money to the Backstreet Boys?

[Ant]

The Backstreet Boys flagged you for singing their song in Simish.

[Frank]

Shut the fuck up.

[Ant]

I swear to God.

[Joey]

We sing it in a. In a made up language. And then we got flagged and we have to give them the money.

[Frank]

First of all, what's going on? One speaks to how good we are at doing things.

[Joey]

Singing that song not just like a music in the background.

[Ant]

I did not. It was all you. They flagged it.

[Frank]

I. I mean, this might be the pipeline that we get to the Backstreet Boys.

[Joey]

I'll tell you what, if we do get to the Backstreet Boys, I'm showing up with a big document and an invoice being like, okay, they're at residency at Vegas at the Sphere.

[Frank]

Give me the money back. They can afford to give us. So. But we, we would have to go in and inflate the numbers on the video and just be like, yo, this video was supposed to be.

[Joey]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

Supposed to have made like $20 million, $150 million. Yeah. You know, like, so just give us. You know what? Just give us a third. That's what you asked for.

[Joey]

Give us 100k.

[Frank]

Let them believe that they're getting a deal.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

You know, that's how you do it. You're still reading the Art of the Deal, right?

[Joey]

I don't even know what that is.

[Frank]

You were just telling me it's your favorite book.

[Joey]

I don't know what that is. Well, I'm reading a book about mushrooms. Actually, I've switched. I put the mushroom book down and now I'm reading a book about, you guessed it, childhood trauma.

[Frank]

So in the episode where you. So in the episode where you project your discomfort with your tiny penis, you tell us that you're reading a book on childhood trauma and then you had previously been reading a book about a mushroom. Let's unpack that.

[Joey]

Thinner ice than him. Actually, that's not true at all. What am I saying? Don't even say yes.

[Frank]

Wait, hold on. So the Backstreet Boys are getting some of our money?

[Ant]

Yes.

[Frank]

So in addition to not only supporting them by literally being drug mules for their music, now they want to take us. They want to bend Joey over.

[Joey]

Wait, what are you. Wait, are we. Are you. What are you saying?

[Frank]

We sing their music all the time.

[Joey]

No, no. What is the drug mules thing?

[Ant]

I don't know.

[Frank]

We're like. We're mules for them, basically. Oh, you know, so now what they're doing is they're bending Joey over and taking his car cold, hard earned cash from him.

[Joey]

First of all, we'll take free tickets to a show.

[Frank]

Dad, I'm on board for if we.

[Joey]

Get to come to the sphere and sit in any seat we want.

[Frank]

But not even just that. Like, if you're gonna. If we basically.

[Joey]

We want to sing the song.

[Frank]

Basically. Now we're talking. Thank you. Get us up. And they're just like, jc.

[Joey]

Nope.

[Frank]

Nope. Wrong band. Kevin.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Aj.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Brian.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Howie. Nick.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like, you saw what we can do, right?

[Joey]

And we did it so well that we're paying you.

[Frank]

We're basically. Literally. You've put people on stage for free, I assume. Yeah.

[Joey]

You pull a fan up and be like, sing the song, Rusty.

[Frank]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joey]

And he sucks.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Yeah. And then like, you're like, all right, sit down.

[Frank]

Yeah. All right. Okay. You know, but like, we have literally paid into this opportunity.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Let us get our money's worth.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, just go up there and you guys could do your whole thing. Like, I've seen that. There's like videos, you guys going through like the Matrix and like that. That's all. You're a boy band.

[Joey]

I'm gonna need to be harnessed to the floor if we're gonna do that also.

[Frank]

Watch this.

[Joey]

We'll work on it. We'll work on it. For sure. Yeah, we'll work on it. That's different band, that.

[Frank]

No, it isn't. That's also. No, that's marionette. That's in sync.

[Joey]

Yeah, that was. That was. That was in sync.

[Frank]

No, but like, I go look at the. The. Everybody Backstreet's back. Go look at the music video.

[Joey]

I guess everyone was doing that.

[Frank]

Pull up the music video. Don't show it on here because they already taken enough of our.

[Ant]

We can't.

[Frank]

We can't have them.

[Joey]

I'm afraid of saying.

[Frank]

But if you see. I believe it's aj. He goes in the video and he's just like, oh, my God, we're back again. Like, it's.

[Joey]

Oh, cuz he's the mummy.

[Frank]

Because he's the mummy, dude.

[Joey]

It was a great Halloween music.

[Frank]

Oh, no. I think he was the Phantom of the Opera.

[Joey]

Oh, that might be true.

[Frank]

That might be it.

[Joey]

Regardless, if you're gonna take the money, we want to sing the song on stage. Not the whole song. Just want to get a couple notes.

[Frank]

In also, like, I think we are both coordinated. I think that we both have.

[Joey]

I'm starting to get nervous, though.

[Frank]

Combined fair amounts of cardiovascular health. Frank, we could learn choreography and I'm not talking for like a whole song. I'm not even talking for half a song. Give us this. Give us this. That's all we need. That last clap. Holy shit, that ringed my ears.

[Joey]

Yeah, I could heard it. I heard it bounce against the back wall.

[Frank]

We don't need much. We're simple. We're Backstreet Boy fans.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, we're boys.

[Joey]

We're Backstreet Boys.

[Frank]

If anything, we're more from the back street than you.

[Joey]

We're basement Backstreet Boys.

[Frank]

The Basement Boys.

[Joey]

I'm sure that everyone in your crowd would be confused, and that's okay, because our fans would like it.

[Frank]

No press is bad press. No, like, press.

[Joey]

Who are these idiots?

[Frank]

No press is bad press. Especially in today's world, let's be honest. Okay? So, I mean, what they could do is they could just be like, the Backstreet Boys bought up who?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And then TMZ gets it, along with your pictures from the drone, and they run away with it.

[Joey]

I will say it is obvious that we would be getting more out of this than you guys, but I think you need to be okay with that.

[Ant]

Also, they already stole our money.

[Frank]

They've taken our money. Yeah. If anything, also, Backstreet Boys, you should be in a part of your life where you're being generous with your time. Like, you should be spotlighting young creators. Oh, you know what? I just thought about this. Maybe it's not them and it's the label, that evil label. But here's the thing. That is what's happening, and they're gonna see this, but that's not. Oh, my God. Like, I didn't even know that was happening.

[Joey]

I don't think he talks like that anymore.

[Frank]

I think he does.

[Joey]

He may.

[Frank]

I think he does. Can we cross reference my Nick Carter impression?

[Joey]

Who's your favorite Backstreet Boy?

[Frank]

I mean, I was pretty cool with aj. Dude is sick. Had a couple earrings, which I thought was cool.

[Joey]

I was a Brian guy.

[Frank]

Brian. You kind of looked like Brian. I think that's why I liked him. I was like, oh, I dislike any of them, Howie. But, like, I just. I just what? I just think that. I'm kidding. I love everyone. All of the boys from the back street have my approval.

[Joey]

Right?

[Frank]

They're. I mean, they're legends. Legitimately.

[Joey]

Legitimately.

[Frank]

Like, not a joke. They are legitimately, like.

[Joey]

I will say we're, like, joking around here, but if this did spiral out of control, I'd be mad nervous, brother. Also, I'm not doing this. Just. So if you guys are watching this and you're Even considering this, they're sitting around watching together.

[Frank]

You know how the boys, like, they do.

[Joey]

They're the Backstreet Boys.

[Frank]

They're also sitting on bleachers in, like, a studio for some reason. You know what I mean? Oh, my God, this is so fun.

[Joey]

And then Nick's got his foot up against a. Like a basketball. Yes.

[Frank]

And then Kevin's in the back, and you think he's just sitting down, but he's really tall.

[Joey]

If you guys are watching this and you do want to bring us on stage and be like, oh, it'd be really funny. Moment. You guys, you know, could sing the song. I'm not doing it with a handheld mic. I need this.

[Frank]

You need this.

[Joey]

And I need sunglasses that don't.

[Frank]

That are. One glass. One glass. You need this mic. You know, we need puffer vests and baggy pants. Baggy pants. Baggy pants. I'm talking. I'm even going, like, what kind of shoe wear are we wearing? We need some, like, mid-90s lugs. That's what I'm talking about. Because Timberlands people have stolen Timberland culture from New York. Don't get me started on that. Lugs give respect to something with a buckle. Something that if I use during kickball, it would be a cheat code. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

Like, they wouldn't allow it in a league. In a professional league. It could even just be big sneakers. Yeah.

[Frank]

And, like, very, very minimal.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You can just give us a high five. You know what?

[Joey]

The way you gave yourself a high five. Yeah. I'll also just go to a show, too, though, but. But I'd like to be in it. I'd like to sing a note.

[Frank]

I would like. Or you know what? Bare minimum. Acknowledge us, bro.

[Joey]

First of all, obviously, this is hilarious, but we're gonna shoot a shot on a podcast now.

[Frank]

That's what we do.

[Joey]

Our lives have gotten kind of out of control, and this feels a little bit possible, so I'm gonna say it.

[Frank]

Listen, if you know.

[Joey]

Frank, hold on just for one second.

[Frank]

Just think.

[Joey]

Can you imagine that that happened if.

[Frank]

They were like, come on stage with.

[Joey]

Us and we sang a song with the Backstreet Boys? First of all, that's not happening. Second of all, if it did happen, though, that's better than msg.

[Frank]

I'm glad you said it.

[Joey]

Way better than.

[Frank]

I'm glad you said it.

[Joey]

That's way better.

[Frank]

I mean, like, yo, I was on.

[Joey]

Stage with the Backstreet.

[Frank]

I mean, we were on. Are you gonna tell me back Real attack. You were on stage with Frank Alvarez at Madison Square Garden. That's pretty great, too. Yeah, I almost said it. I almost let the B word go.

[Joey]

Oh. Oh, you were gonna call me a babe.

[Frank]

Oh, boy. Was I. Yeah. That would be up there. That'd be crazy. That'd be up there and, like, my.

[Joey]

Sister would kill me.

[Frank]

Oh, my God. My sister would bring her Dolphin starter jacket out of retirement that she bought just because she wanted to impress Nick Carter at trl and she would punch me in the mouth. That's a real story. My sister became a Dolphins fan because she heard that Nick Carter was a Dolphins fan, so she. My parents bought her a Miami Dolphins starter jacket in the 90s, probably fire.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You ever seen a starter jacket and said, ew, that's ugly.

[Joey]

Yeah, they're all the best. Yeah.

[Frank]

Every single design.

[Joey]

Let's shoot another shot.

[Frank]

Hey, starter, you know me. I'm fucking there, baby. I'm ready to go.

[Joey]

Squeeze out of this show.

[Frank]

I mean, listen, also.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

We've. We've made our pitch to the Backstreet Boys.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

If they don't do it in sync, this is the perfect time to swoop in and get some good press.

[Joey]

Not on the same episode.

[Frank]

I mean, listen, listen, listen, listen. We can reignite the boy band war. We can bring back the triple B, baby. 2026, the reemerging of triple B boy band beef.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

Everyone Talked about Drake vs. Kendrick. Drake vs. Kendrick. Drake vs Kendrick. Let's bring back and spark the fire and flames of NSync versus Backstreet Boys. And they are fighting over us. Take it easy, boys.

[Joey]

We've officially gotten ahead of ourselves.

[Frank]

We have.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I just think that there's. Because, like, what if. In sync. Our fans are so supportive. Yeah. Thank you guys so much.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And what if they rally behind us and they start tagging the Backstreet Boys? Which.

[Joey]

Maya.

[Frank]

Maya. What if. What if, like, everyone cut it? What if everyone cut a clip of us?

[Joey]

Something?

[Frank]

It's just like, what if someone.

[Joey]

What if we.

[Frank]

What if someone used their hard skills and. And valued time to find all the clips of us singing about the Backstreet Boys and they make a fucking clip that goes mega viral?

[Joey]

What if people worked really hard to help us two who are already spoiled get more out of this? What if that happened?

[Frank]

I mean, if their life is not to help us, then where are you going?

[Joey]

Why? Be a fan. Be a better fan.

[Frank]

Do what we want you to do, not what you want to do.

[Joey]

I feel like one of those like preachers. Now lock the door. I need to collect $100,000.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those fucking megachurch pastors that are just like, I need a new G6 in order to spread the word of God.

[Joey]

Speaking of, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being how you doing?

[Frank]

I'll keep going after.

[Joey]

How you doing? Squarespace. Okay. Is it Squarespace? Yes, it is. It is Squarespace. Squarespace is a platform where it's going to help you create and run your website. So if you make content or you have a online business or you sell things, you're going to want to use Squarespace if you're not already using it, because that is the only one that I will use. All the landing pages that we've created have been through Squarespace and they're amazing. They make it very easy to make a professional looking website, which is very important. It's your first impression, it's huge. So you can go to squarespace.com they have templates. You click on the templates, it'll populate a website. You switch out the text, you switch out the pictures. You have a professional looking website. You literally could do that in an afternoon. I've done it before. So, you know, that's a great feature of it as well. And they have a lot of features that are going to help you optimize your traffic, you know, give you all the updates and send you emails about this is how many people you know, we're visiting and you know, blah, blah, blah, give you suggestions what you should do. So Squarespace is the one you can head to squarespace.com basement and you'll save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay, that is squarespace.com basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. And we also have prize picks. Okay, the big game is all is almost here. There's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks. It makes, you know, Sundays, especially for me. I kind of use price picks for the football season. But you can build these lineups and you're competing against the prize picks projection. So you're saying, will Sam Darnold have more or less than 200 yards in this game or will Kenneth Walker get in the end zone one time or point over more or less than 0.5 times?

[Frank]

Stuff like that.

[Joey]

So you, you can build those and you can win a bunch of money doing that. And it's a lot of fun and they also have early payouts. So if your player gets off to a hot start, you have the option to cash out winnings before the game even finishes. So make it easy for you there and you can download the prize picks app today and use the code basement. You'll get $50 in lineups after you play your first five doll. That is the code BASEMENT to get $50 in lineups after YOU play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right, Frank.

[Frank]

Yes. Thank you. I appreciate you throwing it over to me. I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you guys. And it's about the state of our nation. And our Nation is Patreon. Patreon.com the Basement Yard. What's the state of it? It's going great. It's incredible. There's stuff on there that maybe you want to take a look at. Maybe you want to gander. Okay. Maybe Patreon is inviting you to come take a look under the blanket. So to say, well, you're not going to get the chance if you don't. Go to patreon.com the basementyard. That's the blanket. I'm showing you the weight of the blanket and all you need to do, lift it up. Take a look. Patreon.com the Basement Yarn sign up for that first. Here you got these weekly episodes a week in advance.

[Joey]

Whatever. What the fuck is happening? I can hear even Ann over there going, what is he doing?

[Frank]

Second tier weekly episodes every single Friday, Right?

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Also. Hey, Joe, I got a question for you. If I join Patreon today, do I only get to see the episodes that come out after my joining?

[Joey]

No, you get access to all of them.

[Frank]

All of them?

[Joey]

All of them.

[Ant]

It's actually. It's a good question. I've gotten that before. It's a good question.

[Joey]

Thanks for your approval. This guy, this guy over here. I'm telling your dad.

[Frank]

Oh, my God, I can't wait. Well, listen, go to patreon.com thebasemanyard jokes aside, we love the fact that you have joined us on this ride and we want you to keep joining us. Or if it's your first time watching or listening or you're thinking about maybe you needed, you know, a little. A little nudge in the right direction to check out what's under the blanket. This is that one. So go to patreon.com the Basement Yard Sign up. You're going to love every single second of it. We promise you'll get more of this. You get more of that.

[Joey]

Don't and don't do that.

[Frank]

Oh, God. Go check it out. If you want to save yourself some money, go do that at the URL on a web browser. If you use an app, guess what? It's gonna take extra money from you, so save yourself some bucks. Signing up for patreon. Patreon.com. the basement yard. Thank you. We love you. We'll talk with you later. Last pitch. I'm going to say about this. That's not a saying at all. Nope. Last thing I'm gonna say about this.

[Joey]

But the Backstreet Boys.

[Frank]

We have made our plea and made our case of the Backstreet Boys. The balls are in their court. It's not just one ball now. There's five of them. So you need multiple balls for them. If they chose not to do it, it's okay. Also, other boy bands, I'm not a. I think I can speak for both of us. We're not opposed to NSync. I mean, listen, sounds like Justin Timberlake could use some good press. Maybe. Maybe we can help.

[Joey]

Don't ruin this.

[Frank]

I'm not ruining anything.

[Joey]

I'm just saying, you're already bringing up other options. We have one goal.

[Frank]

We have one goal, but that doesn't mean that we can't be bought.

[Joey]

Yeah. We're paying.

[Frank]

I know. We can't be purchased. Ing. I'm just. I've said what I had to say. Yeah. And I think, you know, I think I could speak for anyone. Would be lucky to have us.

[Ant]

I agree.

[Frank]

I don't know.

[Joey]

I don't know. I mean, I might throw up on that stage. To be honest.

[Frank]

It looks like.

[Joey]

It looks like it would get me dizzy.

[Frank]

I mean, if I looked back and I saw, like, you know, like, she's.

[Joey]

Like, oh, my God, we're flying through a black hole. I'm gonna throw up on the stage.

[Frank]

Yeah, that would be.

[Joey]

That would be tough.

[Frank]

Especially, like, everybody.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. Some of those rooms, like, I remember when we were, like, first time on stage. First time, actually, boys, you hear that? First time we were on stage at Radio City, I remember standing on that stage and just seeing the curvature of the room and just be like, whoa, this is. I'm feeling a little dizzy. Really? Yeah, a little bit. You know, it could have been also, in addition to the weight of the moment, for our first time of two nights on stage, it sold out Radio City and. Right. It was. It was intense. So, like, I can imagine getting on there and be like, this is also intense.

[Joey]

Yeah, that would be a crazy one.

[Frank]

I don't know, but they've done like stadium, so, like.

[Joey]

Balls are in your.

[Frank]

Court if you're, if you're getting one song to do with them and they're saying you can hop on on one song. Here's our set list. Which one is like that one right there.

[Joey]

That one.

[Frank]

I think everybody, I, I, I do want to do the dance. Or I at least want to do the part where they just go, everybody. You know what? There's a part of the song where it's like, oh, at the end, like, everybody. Yeah, yeah, I wanna. Or, or that part.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Throw your hands up in the air, wave around and like it just donkey. That was pretty good.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Be careful how good it gets.

[Frank]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're gonna owe the mess too. If we, if they take money from us in two videos.

[Joey]

I'll tell you what, now we have to upload this early and make sure it doesn't get. We have to make sure that this doesn't get that much.

[Frank]

No, I don't know anymore. The rules are so crazy with YouTube. Dude, call up the CEO of YouTube. Just be like, yeah, what are you doing here?

[Joey]

What should I say? I'm going to the office.

[Frank]

No. Well, yeah, I guess I said you'd call him, so, like, oh, him. Oh, yeah. You know what? Oops.

[Joey]

Women can't be CEOs.

[Frank]

No, they can be and should be.

[Joey]

I believe that the CEO of YouTube is woman, if I'm not mistaken. Cancel him.

[Frank]

Of all the things you're gonna look up now make me look like an asshole.

[Joey]

I'm pretty sure.

[Frank]

I'm pretty sure she's a. I am a victim of a patriarchal society. Yeah, I'm a victim here.

[Joey]

That's a good narrative. That's good way to spin it. You like that I've done something wrong, but it's because the world made me.

[Frank]

The world made me into the monster that I am. Okay.

[Ant]

Oh, it's. It's a, It's a man now.

[Joey]

Ah, so she was fired for a man.

[Ant]

Even worse, she stepped down.

[Joey]

Stepping down is great.

[Ant]

The, The.

[Frank]

Her own accord. We love that economy and that choice.

[Joey]

That's how you girl boss. Even if you're stepping down from being the boss. Still girl Boss.

[Frank]

She.

[Ant]

Well, CEO of YouTube is now Neil.

[Joey]

Neil.

[Frank]

Yeah, we're back to this. Your dad is the CEO. YouTube. Neil what?

[Ant]

Neil Mohan.

[Frank]

Neil Mohan.

[Ant]

I think I got it.

[Frank]

Spell it.

[Ant]

M O H A N. That was.

[Joey]

How I thought it was gonna be spelled.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, Susan.

[Ant]

Susan stepped down.

[Joey]

Susan there's better names.

[Frank]

Yeah, well. Such a bad idea. This is. This is going to. This is. If anything now YouTube has like a double reason to hit us.

[Joey]

You know, we buried it. We're 40 minutes into an episode. They'll never see this.

[Frank]

Neil's gonna be. Neil's gonna be like, Neil searches Neil. Neil searches his name and talking about me. Videos that have been uploaded and he just scrubs through them and he's gonna see your pretty grin and be like, I'm not gonna do anything. And he's gonna see my fucking ugly mug and he's gonna be like, now I gotta do something.

[Joey]

What is this? You always do this thing where you're like this big ogre who's disgusting. It's ridiculous. You act like you're just like, oh, me?

[Frank]

I'm just so.

[Joey]

I'm like, I got pimples and I'm like disgusting and I stink. Like that's how you talk. It's ridiculous.

[Frank]

It's ridiculous.

[Joey]

First of all, you're a good looking guy.

[Frank]

First of all, let's start here. Who is to say that your beauty standards are pimply is bad. Get him, people that suffer from acne.

[Joey]

2.

[Frank]

There is only one instance in popular media where we can point to an ogre and that's Shrek. And Shrek is a corner of the Internet. Fucking daddy.

[Joey]

What port. What point are you making? I'm saying that you always talk about your. Your appearance negatively.

[Frank]

No, I think I'm a relatively good looking.

[Joey]

Except if we talk about your ass, then you go crazy.

[Frank]

See, why do you want a loaded episode?

[Joey]

Your ass makes him make up words. Well, don't put your voice like. Do you Sky.

[Frank]

What? What? What were like, what is going on in this episode?

[Ant]

What?

[Frank]

First you're clearly feeling away about how you look in the mirror.

[Joey]

First.

[Frank]

What we started there.

[Joey]

No, what we started with was a double body shame.

[Frank]

It was a singular body shame. Yeah, I mean, you guys fully shamed him.

[Joey]

You guys double dog piled me. You talked about my butt and then you talked about something else that I can't remember at the moment, but I will watch the tape.

[Frank]

I think it was your tiny. His words.

[Joey]

Well, that's what you brought up.

[Frank]

His words. His words.

[Joey]

There was a lot of insinuating. Then you brought up the eye cream, if you will.

[Frank]

I laughed at Ant because I looked over at Ant and he went like this. Yeah, that's what he did.

[Joey]

And let's be careful because Neil's watching.

[Frank]

And we don't know what's gonna happen. And the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. I mean, this could be one of the most like. Like, celebrity viewed episodes, because the Backstreet Boys, there's five of them. You think of this, the staying power of each of the individual boys at the Back Street Boys. Then you add Neil in there. Neil's got Neil. The biggest media platform on the planet, basically.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Which I think is doing a great job. We're cool. We're cool, dude.

[Ant]

We're cool.

[Frank]

Neil, we're so cool. You're good. You're really cool. And put your fingers down.

[Joey]

Yeah. Be careful.

[Frank]

Sorry, I don't. You know, I'm just saying that, like. Yeah, I don't think I'm ugly, but, like.

[Joey]

If you had to rank yourself 1 to 10.

[Frank]

Oh, we've done this a bunch.

[Joey]

Yeah. That was, like, years ago. I don't remember.

[Frank]

So we're revisiting our.

[Joey]

Do you think you're higher or lower?

[Frank]

Like, have you.

[Joey]

Do you think you've peaked?

[Frank]

I think I am the best version of myself that I've ever been physically, overall.

[Joey]

I'm talking about appearance.

[Frank]

Oh, just. Just appearance.

[Joey]

What are we doing here?

[Frank]

Well, I mean, there was an. Oh, there's an overall ranking. There's a bunch of this stuff.

[Joey]

We're talking about how you have this thing where you say you act like you're disgusting. I know.

[Frank]

I don't do that. It's a jokes and jokes and. And fun for one to ten on just looks. I would say I'm at, like, see, this is tough because any answer I give, people are just gonna be like, no, you're bad. Or there's gonna be those dickheads that'll just be like, honestly, Frankie, I think that you're pretty cool, but, like, you got ugly. So there's no answer that I give if you're gonna satisfy anyone. So you know what?

[Ant]

There is no winning.

[Frank]

There is no winning. There's no winning. So I'm going to leave it for ambiguity. I'm gonna let the world decide. And by the world, I mean Becca, because that's the only opinion I need on that.

[Joey]

And God and Santa Claus.

[Frank]

That's right. God and Santa Claus.

[Joey]

They're always watching.

[Ant]

Yeah, that. That.

[Frank]

That is correct. But yeah, I mean, I. I know I'm not ugly. Why are you gonna make me break down a joke like this? Why are you gonna make me do that? I'm joking back. You joking back? Yeah, joking back.

[Ant]

Yeah, I think you're both tens.

[Joey]

That doesn't save you, buddy.

[Frank]

Yeah, nice try.

[Joey]

You think I forgot about the last 45 minutes.

[Frank]

Nice try. I'm telling your dad. What would you do? Serious question. Yeah, what would you.

[Joey]

Oh, wow, you're enjoying that.

[Frank]

What would you do? If his dad actually saw that and then he came into work when we recorded, he's like, yo, guys, like, you need to, like, seriously step back on those jokes. We're like, why? And he's like, my dad bent me over his knee and spanked.

[Joey]

First of all, that would be an insane thing to come in and say. 2. If you think that's not resulting in a doubling and tripling down on the jokes, you are sadly mistaken. Me.

[Ant]

Like, I said it.

[Frank]

Yo, could you, like, if he was.

[Joey]

Like, yo, you gotta chill. I'd be like, literally not gonna.

[Frank]

I just like the picture of like, because I've met your father.

[Joey]

Have you ever been spanked by your dad? Crazy out of context thing to say.

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Like, you know, like, across his knee.

[Frank]

And being like, ah, I think once.

[Joey]

And smacked your butt.

[Frank]

I think. I think once. And like, it was like a pivotal thing for my dad where he was just like, from that moment on, I never want my kids to be afraid of me. So he, like, didn't hit us again, but he gave us the look.

[Joey]

Like, really wish our parents hung out more because my dad, I think, got addicted to it.

[Frank]

Wait, you got bent over like you're a Pepe Le Pew?

[Joey]

No, I never got bent over. That never happened. Last couple of episodes, it's more of like a standing.

[Frank]

It was. Oh, so like, you took it standing?

[Joey]

Craig, come on.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that, but, like, you know what I mean?

[Ant]

Was it. Was it bare butt?

[Joey]

No, it wasn't my butt.

[Ant]

I'm just saying.

[Joey]

I don't know, maybe I. Maybe I got. I don't know.

[Frank]

Yo, I gotta be. Did you get across the knee? Yeah.

[Joey]

I mean, your dad's Italian, dude. He probably, like.

[Frank]

No, he probably hit you with a wooden spoon anytime he had a wife beater on.

[Joey]

You're like, you'll stay out of his way. You've seen Godfather.

[Frank]

Jesus Christ.

[Joey]

But like, he never do you Never.

[Ant]

Not really. I don't think so. Maybe when I was really little.

[Frank]

I mean, you're the oldest of your siblings too, so if anyone's getting their. Their shit beat, it's you. You know what I mean? Come on. The double entendres don't count.

[Joey]

Neil, take it easy on us because we're just joking around.

[Ant]

Well, both.

[Frank]

Both Neil's.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All Neil's involved. I was talking about the big Neil. That's the other Neil.

[Frank]

And then your. Your papa Neil. That's what we'll call them.

[Joey]

Yellow and Neil.

[Frank]

Yes, that's right.

[Ant]

That's a good one. Got it.

[Frank]

Yeah. I can't. I don't know if I've ever known someone, or at least they haven't told me. Like that, like, just got like the legit, like, knee out. They like slumped over it and then just got like a. Yeah, that's like.

[Joey]

A real 50s thing. That's a real 50s way of abusing children. Yeah, that's not really modern.

[Frank]

Yeah, now it's done through, like text messages.

[Joey]

Yeah, now.

[Frank]

Yeah, exactly now.

[Joey]

Now you like psychologically catfish your daughter and you just pretend to be other people and bully her until she's psychotic.

[Frank]

Listen, if you plan on being a parent, there's two ways of rearing your children. The old fashioned way.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

With a wooden spoon, with spanking on the butt. Or you could text them that they're a fugly slore.

[Joey]

Yeah. You can cerebrally assassinate them.

[Frank]

You know. And guess what? You also have the luxury of if you get caught, the world made you into this monster.

[Joey]

Exactly.

[Frank]

It's your trauma that made you do this.

[Joey]

Just because you blatantly get caught doesn't mean that you can't change the narrative and be a victim too.

[Frank]

Bingo.

[Joey]

You know what I mean?

[Frank]

If you get in trouble for something that you actively do, you're not in trouble for it because you're doing it because something actively happened to you.

[Joey]

Correct. I don't know.

[Frank]

I mean, you know, I think, like.

[Joey]

What a crazy document.

[Frank]

What a.

[Joey]

Did we talk about that?

[Frank]

Yeah, we talked about it. Ad nauseam. Yeah.

[Ant]

It's a good word.

[Joey]

I like that. It reminds me of museum.

[Frank]

What does ad nauseam mean? Like, does that mean until we're nauseous?

[Joey]

Like, that's what it feels like.

[Frank]

Like, we talk about it until we want to throw up. Like, oh. Until, like. But it's got to be. It's got to be Latin, Right?

[Joey]

Also, is it at nauseum.

[Frank]

Ad a D. Oh, yeah. And nauseam is like.

[Joey]

Like mausoleum.

[Frank]

Good word also.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

What is it?

[Joey]

What is it? Is it one word or two words?

[Ant]

It's ad nauseam. Used to say that something happens or is done so many times for such a long time that it makes people annoyed, disgusted.

[Joey]

So similar.

[Frank]

Basically what I said.

[Joey]

Is it one word or two words?

[Ant]

Two words.

[Frank]

So where does the word nauseous. I know nauseous has to do with, like, the feeling of being sick. But I guess, like, if we trace it back to the early roots of what nauseous means, it's the same thing.

[Ant]

No, you had it. It's a Latin phrase. It means to sickness, so until sickness.

[Frank]

Yo, I'm a fucking genius.

[Joey]

Frank, the word is ad nauseam.

[Frank]

I mean, but to be able to make the distinction that it's Latin, I think is very impressive.

[Joey]

Well, I'm just really excited to be sitting next to Rosetta Stone. Thank God you're here to figure that one out. Literally, my guess who. I didn't get any credit.

[Frank]

Well, you don't deserve credit. Speaking of credit, though, you know who does deserve credit and is finally maybe getting some? No. Us. Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

I had no idea where you were going with that.

[Frank]

I mean, the segue wasn't perfect, but.

[Joey]

You know, that was actually a good one. You've had way worse in the past.

[Frank]

How so?

[Joey]

You have to hard pivot sometimes.

[Frank]

I mean. Yeah, sometimes you have to hard pivot. No, but I don't know. It was announced, and I think we can talk about it now. But we have been.

[Joey]

Go for it.

[Frank]

We're just gonna do it, right?

[Joey]

At this point. Yeah.

[Frank]

Who cares?

[Joey]

Neil, turn us off.

[Frank]

Neil. Wait, wait. Can we get in trouble?

[Joey]

Turn it on.

[Frank]

I don't know. Well, yeah. Why would you tell Neil?

[Joey]

Nothing to do with Neil.

[Frank]

Yeah. Why would you do that? Neil? He doesn't want you in the room. I do. Because I think everyone deserves a seat at the table to have a conversation about what they feel here.

[Joey]

There you go. Neil.

[Frank]

No, we got nominated for iheart iheartradio Podcast Awards.

[Joey]

Yeah, we got.

[Frank]

Yay. The laugh track. I mean, not the laugh track.

[Joey]

Clap track, applause track.

[Frank]

Joey wants the clap, so give him it.

[Joey]

Cut that out, Neil. Yeah, we got nominated for awards. We got best comedy, best comedy podcast.

[Frank]

And best overall ensemble, I believe it.

[Joey]

Is, which is wild. I didn't think that we were an ensemble.

[Frank]

Pull them up, baby.

[Joey]

Well, that's. That's what it is.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Pull them up.

[Joey]

What are you gonna look.

[Ant]

What do you want me to do?

[Frank]

I just want to make sure that I want to see who else we're nominated with.

[Joey]

It's. It's best overall ensemble, which. We're an ensemble that feels like we're doing a dance.

[Frank]

Well, you know what I'm saying. I mean, no, an ensemble is just a group.

[Joey]

I know, but ensemble, to me, sounds.

[Frank]

Like ensemble feels like more than two.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So, like, huh. Don't.

[Ant]

Just more than two.

[Joey]

You'd Say, yeah, too many. Now we're an ensemble because of this nomination now, like, I'm flab. We're. We're very.

[Frank]

Oh, my God.

[Joey]

Honored to be, like, legitimately incredible. Legitimately.

[Frank]

Like, all jokes aside, we were just talking. We started talking about Joey's tiny wiener, and now we're nominated for awards. Yeah.

[Joey]

This is crazy.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I will say the fact that we. Because I just learned today, I knew that we were nominated for best comedy podcast for a while now. Not for a while. For like, a week and a half or whatever, and that that was cool. I just learned today that we were also nominated for best overall ensemble, and that is. Although very happy for that. Also not the best because I got to deal with this now.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

So I didn't say anything.

[Joey]

And it's over there going, like, you know, ensemble.

[Frank]

Is it duo? You know, I think that all the other nose.

[Joey]

The.

[Frank]

The addition could have also review, like, taken us from being nominated elsewhere. So he's viewing it as in the positive. Like, maybe you have just.

[Ant]

So we better win.

[Joey]

Really? Yeah.

[Ant]

Well, I was looking at the other people in the category, and it's all, like, trios.

[Joey]

The ensemble.

[Ant]

Yeah. I'm just saying.

[Joey]

Oh, wow. This guy.

[Ant]

This guy.

[Frank]

You gotta. You know, you need to do right.

[Joey]

The people love hand man, you know, I mean, good.

[Frank]

He deserves it.

[Joey]

Oh, my God. When it's, like, contract negotiation time, this is gonna come up.

[Frank]

Can I be. Only if we win, can I be in on the talks.

[Joey]

If we lose, then it's easy. I get to blame you. Yeah.

[Frank]

If we win, you're gonna. Oh, I mean, this is a classic scenario of just like, if the cake is good, I made it.

[Joey]

If it's bad, someone else made it.

[Frank]

It's the same situation. So, I mean, listen, jokes aside, an incredible honor because, yeah, the names in there are people that are, like, been in the massive. Like, massive shows. Massive people. Comedians, actors, actresses. So just even being in the conversation is cool. But then seeing that, like, you're nominated in the font that Batman Forever was typed in is really cool too.

[Joey]

Why did they use that phone?

[Frank]

I don't know. That is so funny. It is a Batman Forever font, though.

[Joey]

Yeah. I mean, I'm just excited that we get to sit and go to an award show and just sit there. I'll just be like, yeah, I mean, I'm cool with losing, to be honest.

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean, it's gonna be fun. If we're. If we're being honest. We are nominated in best comedy category with some juggernauts yeah. Amy Poehler is one of them.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So, you know, it's the honor of losing to the great Amy Poehler and then. And the other one again, Juggernauts. One of the people that are nominated, one of the shows in there is Smartless.

[Joey]

Both nominated for Golden Globes this year. Yeah, One was a winner.

[Frank]

And did anyone else in that category get nominated for Golden Globe? Did we get nominated for a Golden Globe?

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

No, we did not. No, no, we.

[Joey]

Baby steps.

[Frank]

I mean, listen, nomination. I full.

[Joey]

Just being completely honest here and not joking anymore. I don't know if that's true, but not something that I thought was actually possible. Because when you go and you look at the names who are nominated, like, in our field, like, they're kind of like, either have a really good relationship with certain companies or whatever, or they're very famous people. Like, obviously we are not that. We're very independent, kind of do our own thing here in New York. So the fact that we even nominated on this and. And the winners are decided by like a, like their own judges or whatever. So, like, the fact that we're even nominated by people like that is, like, awesome. That means, you know, we're doing something right.

[Frank]

I mean, we're also hot off the presses of being the sexiest podcast on the planet, which is also a crazy thing.

[Joey]

Like.

[Frank]

Yeah, it, like, you know, if we're, you know, if we're letting you. If we're letting you peek under the blanket, we are legitimately in a place where we're just like, the things that have happened to us are crazy.

[Joey]

They're just funny now.

[Frank]

And now it's getting to a point where it's just like, that would be funny. And then it's like it happened. It's like, like it's. It is. It's weird. But also, we need to approach it that way because if we don't, certain people here that I can't point fingers to. Right. Are going to be like, yeah, you know, yeah. But we remain humble.

[Joey]

The byproduct there is pretty unfortunate. But what.

[Frank]

What if our humble Ioty is what is preventing us from winning?

[Joey]

Two words that we've made up today.

[Ant]

Is that a word?

[Frank]

No.

[Joey]

Oh, humble.

[Frank]

I 80 our humble. Humbleness. Humble.

[Joey]

Humble.

[Frank]

Humility.

[Joey]

Humility.

[Frank]

That's it. That's the one.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

What if that's what's preventing us from winning in this stuff? Like, maybe we didn't get nominated for a Golden Globe because we were too humble.

[Joey]

I don't know what we could have done.

[Frank]

Diff. I mean, what if we just made spitball in here? What if we just made shirts and just put our names on all the shirts and. Oh, you know what? Even faces.

[Joey]

Try that. I've made that. I've done that before.

[Frank]

I mean, it's something.

[Joey]

It's something.

[Frank]

It's a thought.

[Joey]

Yeah, no, but that's. It's crazy. I mean, a lot of this stuff is just funny now. And even, like, we were joking before about the Backstreet Boy thing. Like, if something like that ends up happening, like one that's just, like, not. That's a dangerous thing to happen for us to know that we could speak something stupid like that into existence. Get ready.

[Frank]

Yeah. Because this podcast is gonna be. Remember, there was a whole run of episodes we did where we were, like, saying that there was a bidding ward out for the basement yard. You were.

[Joey]

Didn't do anything. You.

[Frank]

It was a conversation.

[Joey]

You were like, oh, Taylor Swift, buy our podcast.

[Frank]

Whatever that means. I didn't say that. I said fund it. But also, I think that, you know. You know how I am. I keep an ear to the ground with things in the entertainment industry. Movies, tv, you know, comic books, stuff like that. The way that that industry works is when something gets hot enough, everyone wants it. What if we need to be hotter?

[Joey]

Hotter. We gotta get hotter.

[Frank]

But, like, in the sense of, like, you know, Backstreet Boy. Backstreet Boys, you could become, like. You could have equity in this if you really want.

[Joey]

Oh, don't use that word.

[Frank]

Giving up equity. I mean, you know, you think about it, like, they could.

[Joey]

They could what?

[Frank]

But they just need to give us what we want, and maybe they'll get equity.

[Joey]

What are you doing?

[Frank]

I'm trying to do everything.

[Joey]

I know.

[Frank]

Everything.

[Joey]

We're campaigning is what we're doing.

[Frank]

I mean, you got a campaign, you got to start somewhere.

[Joey]

I know, but what's the award again?

[Ant]

I heart.

[Joey]

I Heart Podcast award or something like that. It's a. It's south by Southwest.

[Frank]

Yeah. So the show is at south by Southwest in Austin. In Austin. I think it's safe to say we could say we'll be attending.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I fully plan on making.

[Joey]

I have a cool outfit.

[Frank]

I was thinking about that.

[Joey]

Should I wear a cowboy hat?

[Frank]

Becca and I. First of all, I already have two. Second of all, I was thinking, because Beck and I were like, what are we gonna wear? And it was like, oh, yeah, that's right. Like, do we do tucks? Or is that like. You gotta. It's like podcast Awards. You need to take it a little jokey.

[Joey]

Like, it's like a. I believe what they said was cocktail attire.

[Frank]

I mean, you are so far this year, 0 for 1 for cocktail attire because you dress as the weights.

[Joey]

Yeah. Honestly. Yo, you want to know something funny about that? I. And I swear to whatever God, that is correct, that I was. When I put on the suit, right? Because I was like, I don't want to wear a blue or black suit. I want to wear something different. I put on the suit and I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was like, this looks nice, but I look like a maitre d. And I'm like, it would be very funny if I'm dressed like. If they're. If the staff is dressed like that. And when we walked in, I was like, I really need to stop manifesting.

[Frank]

Yeah, well, I mean, that. That is what you do. And what people do in general is like, things only happen when they are manifested, so.

[Joey]

Right. Yeah. So you. You did that? Yeah.

[Frank]

You did that.

[Joey]

Yeah. So I was like, oh, God, can we.

[Frank]

It wasn't that bad.

[Joey]

No one made a comment. Just me.

[Frank]

I mean, oh, my God, this is such a big, momentous occasion that we need to, like, remember it by purchasing something stupid.

[Joey]

All right, well, I almost pointed there.

[Ant]

Yeah. After. By the end of the year, you might be able to afford something. We're at 90 bucks.

[Joey]

I thought that he just pocket watch you and said you're a broke.

[Frank]

Oh, no, no.

[Joey]

Maybe by the end of the year you'll be able to buy yourself something nice.

[Frank]

Stupid peasant. We started at 40.

[Ant]

We got 50 this time. Well, we got.

[Frank]

I mean, if we are. If we are, you know, three. As of recording three weeks into the month average. If we're making a hundred dollars a month, I could be walking out with a pretty good chunk of change by the end of this year.

[Ant]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frank]

You know, and if I just keep rage baiting him, it'll get better. Yeah, but I don't.

[Joey]

I don't point just for anger. I point because I talk with my hands and we're doing a thing. You know, I think.

[Frank]

I think it's mostly anger that you.

[Joey]

I think we're gonna tape my fingers now.

[Frank]

I mean, you could do whatever you want. You can put your fingers anywhere.

[Joey]

Like this. What am I doing?

[Frank]

Did we do a. Did we do an Edward forty hands episode?

[Ant]

Oh, my God, that'd be so good.

[Joey]

We didn't. I've done it at your house numerous times.

[Frank]

I think the only times you've ever.

[Joey]

Done it have been with me and underaged Neil.

[Frank]

Does it make it worse? Stop.

[Joey]

Neil.

[Frank]

Does it make it worse that I did? Edward. For those of you guys that don't know what Edward forty hands is, by the way, it was an inner city thing when 40 ounce beers were $3.

[Joey]

Such a best deal ever, yo.

[Frank]

Such a crazy deal.

[Joey]

You know what? Like, you talk to boomers and like, oh, I bought my house for $15,000. I still don't think that's a better deal than the 4:40.

[Frank]

Yo, that really is not. Getting eight beers for six bucks. It's crazy. And not like, yeah, you can get 40 ounces of like, old English or like Cobra, which is like, it's malt liquor. Technically, it's not even beer. But you got a Bud Light. You got a Bud Light, coarse light for like. Dude, you guys don't understand. And if you do. But you take two 40 ounce beers and you take them to your hand.

[Ant]

You know what's funny? For 40,000 patrons. 40. Edward Fort.

[Frank]

No, fuck that.

[Joey]

I'm pointing. I don't give a shit.

[Frank]

But yes, point at me. It was only. Point at me. Yeah, yeah, it's only whatever.

[Joey]

40,000 patrons. Edward. 40 hand. Patreon Episode 240. Wait, how.

[Frank]

Wait, didn't we already hit that?

[Joey]

No.

[Ant]

Well, we're getting. We're very close.

[Frank]

All right, how about we. That we raise it a little bit? Come on, guys. Do you not understand marketing?

[Ant]

What? Well, it's perfect. I feel like it's perfect.

[Frank]

I'm gonna make a statement.

[Joey]

Marketing.

[Frank]

I'm gonna make a statement right now. And if you argue against it, you're racist. For 42,000 for Jackie Robinson. Now if you say no, then you're.

[Joey]

What is it? What is it?

[Frank]

Now you're racist because.

[Joey]

What? You're the one you're making. What are you talking about? What are you attaching? 42.

[Frank]

You got it. You got to bump it up a little bit.

[Joey]

You don't. We just want to do it.

[Ant]

I'm gonna have to tape one hand at a time. So I feel like I need my hand.

[Frank]

Unless you're gonna do it too. Yeah, I really don't want to do this. I really don't.

[Ant]

He did point.

[Joey]

Why don't. Why not? Why don't.

[Frank]

The idea of drinking six beers in a one hour episode.

[Joey]

It doesn't need to be like that.

[Frank]

Let's mull it over.

[Joey]

But I do have some sponsors and we'll get to that.

[Frank]

Oh, my God, we're late.

[Joey]

Oddly enough, Yeah, I didn't even think we do. This is kind of funny to transition into this, but zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality doctors so you can find someone that you love. Okay. They're in network doctors too. So you go on the website, you plug in your insurance and your area and then it will show you doctors in your area and they're all patient reviewed. So you know, the ones that are, you know, well reviewed or good doctors, people had good experiences there and yeah, they, you know that they take your insurance. You can kind of go there. I use Zoc Doc literally all the time now. Anytime I have to go to like an eye doctor or a dermatologist or anything like that, I use Zoc Doc to find people in my area. So that's what I like. I was using this before they were going to sponsor, but it's really great. Like I said, it's free. So all you have to do is stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Okay. Go to zocdoc.com basement and to find and instantly book a doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com basement. Okay. Zocdoc.com basement. Thanks, doc, for sponsoring our show. And lastly, here we have Skims. Skims makes underwear. They make it for men now. So if you're a man out there and you need a pair of underwear that's nice and breathable and nice on your body, you can use Skims. Okay. They have a five inch boxer brief. I think those are the ones that I have. They sent us some boxers and they are very comfortable, so I do enjoy them. But you could shop the best underwear for men and [e-mail] let them know that we sent you. After you place the order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for your valentine, the Skims Valentine shop is now open. Okay. So, yeah, this is actually a really good gift for Valentine's Day. So go to skims.com and let them know that they that you came from our podcast. All right, thank you.

[Frank]

What were we just talking about?

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank]

Do you remember for.

[Joey]

Oh, the forties?

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's an intense.

[Joey]

But if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it.

[Ant]

Yeah, we'll do it.

[Frank]

Thank you.

[Joey]

I know that you made it seem like you didn't want to do it.

[Frank]

Yeah, I don't But, I mean, there's fucking. Drinking six beers and then having a drive home. I would have to wait, like, fucking.

[Joey]

You wouldn't drive. How would I get in?

[Frank]

You said in a car.

[Joey]

No, no, I mean, you wouldn't.

[Ant]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

How about we have the picky boys pay for that one, then?

[Frank]

I mean, this guy a Blade. Blade. You want to take a chopper home?

[Joey]

We're gonna land it in your backyard.

[Frank]

Flex.

[Joey]

That's why his yard's so big.

[Frank]

I mean, call me a broke bitch now.

[Joey]

Maybe one day you'll be able to afford something.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, it would be crazy if we get. Since we're nominated, like, we would have to, like, get something, right? We're. We're in this together.

[Joey]

I feel like you're convincing the wrong people here.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey]

I'm in support.

[Ant]

Yeah. If we win.

[Frank]

You know what's funny is I. There's no one I have to convince but this guy, because every person, like, when it came to, like. Like, buying, like, something for, like, Radio City and msg, I was like, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, someone fight back. I was doing the whole, like, no, you know, if we do.

[Joey]

If we do the Edward 40 hands, then I'll send a car. If that's gonna do it.

[Ant]

Yes. Fire. Dude.

[Frank]

We will talk offline and figure this out. We'll figure it out.

[Joey]

So we're not committing?

[Frank]

Not committing.

[Ant]

Okay, well, what percentage?

[Frank]

I mean, that's. That's a. That. I'll be honest. That's a big part of it is, like, the idea of driving. Driving? Yeah, because I would have to sober up.

[Joey]

Well, then the car.

[Ant]

So 60.

[Frank]

That's a big part of it.

[Joey]

Love the car. I mean, dude, I wouldn't. You're not gonna drink six beers and drive away from me.

[Frank]

No duh. No duh. No duh. No one's saying that. You're suggesting that. What is happening? Why are you guys pressuring me live on air?

[Joey]

Whoa.

[Frank]

Who's fresh? I just said you didn't have to do it. Oh, my God. He's yelling at me now.

[Joey]

I said you didn't have to do it.

[Frank]

He hit me. Oh.

[Joey]

I'm saying, if it's the driving, then, like, well, in the car.

[Frank]

Yeah, we'll talk about this.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joey]

No pressure.

[Ant]

Ask for a limo.

[Frank]

Oh, do I get to pick the car? There's. Be it, like, if he's like, I'll get you a car. It's like, a 2002 Nissan Altima. I don't want that shit, you know?

[Joey]

Do you want, like, a limo with it with a cheese pizza?

[Frank]

I would like home alone. I would like something that has. Oh, my God, a cheese pizza. Right now. It's the beginning of the year. So I'm eating like a deer.

[Joey]

Yeah. So I'm eating like a deer as well and not drinking this.

[Frank]

Yeah. This is not fun. But I would like something that preferably would have, like, a bathroom. So, like, a bus. Because I'm gonna need to piss like a racehorse or just send me home with jugs.

[Joey]

First of all, getting a bus, that's not happening.

[Frank]

I think a limo is fair.

[Joey]

There's no bathrooms on a limo.

[Ant]

Just take the.

[Frank]

But there's enough space that I could piss in a limo if I had to. Oh, you'd be paying for the cleanup.

[Joey]

But also, first of all. What, you're gonna pee on the ground?

[Frank]

No, but God forbid, some pee got on the ground.

[Joey]

You could just be like, pull over and piss.

[Frank]

Where?

[Joey]

At a place.

[Frank]

My guy. When I have to piss, I have to piss now, right? There's no way.

[Joey]

I mean, you make it here, you pull over. I assume places.

[Frank]

I mean, I know I've stopped drinking water or any food.

[Joey]

Oh, you're talking about the way home.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

Oh, well, like, we kill some time, and then you let out five, six pe.

[Frank]

You go, I don't know.

[Joey]

We'll figure it out offline. We don't know.

[Frank]

But 42,000?

[Joey]

How are you committing to that then?

[Frank]

Pump it up. Pump it up. 46.

[Joey]

Okay, you're getting crazy.

[Frank]

You got to give them something to, like, crawl toward.

[Joey]

We are.

[Frank]

This is perfect.

[Ant]

Well, we'll hit it. No time. People definitely want to see that.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

It's been a long time since we were drunk on an episode.

[Joey]

Has it been.

[Frank]

I think that the last one was the.

[Joey]

Oh, I drank, though. You.

[Frank]

You tried turn the yardies. Those cameras went off. And I saw Joey just, like, I have his concept, and Aunt and I were just sitting there like, I have this concept, but I think the Scorpion bowl episode was the last one we got drunk for.

[Joey]

Yeah, no, no, the brunch one here.

[Frank]

We were drunk for that.

[Joey]

I mean, we drank.

[Ant]

Oh, the beer tower.

[Joey]

The beer tower.

[Frank]

I used nas.

[Joey]

He did.

[Ant]

You didn't.

[Joey]

I didn't, but I wasn't, like, drunk on that.

[Frank]

No.

[Ant]

Well, I may have been.

[Joey]

I don't know. The brunch one. I think that we were. We were drinking champagne the whole time.

[Frank]

Yeah, probably. But I. I don't think I was drunk. I think I maybe had like two.

[Joey]

The Scorpion bowl was definitely like.

[Frank]

That was crazy. You've had Scorpion bowls? You, of course. I mean, you're. You're the king.

[Ant]

Thank you. But you've had Scorpion bowls. I've had one.

[Joey]

Oh, okay.

[Ant]

Not Puplothora.

[Frank]

Plethora. Plethora.

[Joey]

Yeah. You made it sound like a dinosaur. What was that?

[Ant]

It's cooler.

[Frank]

Is it?

[Ant]

Yeah. Dinosaurs aren't cool. Crazy.

[Joey]

I love dinosaurs.

[Frank]

That's crazy.

[Joey]

Yeah. We're bringing it back. Should we bring it back? Like, we'll do, like, Patreon goals. We'll do 40, then 45.

[Frank]

I mean, 50. We. We should put out a poll seeing if people want us to do that because we have, like, what's the point?

[Ant]

That's the point of that poll. It's going to be. Oh, you mean bring back the goals. Oh, I thought you meant the 40 hands.

[Joey]

Yeah, I think they would like that.

[Ant]

Because if we put that. You're talking about the 40 hands. Put that on a pole.

[Frank]

No, the goal.

[Ant]

Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't they like that?

[Frank]

Some people just be like, no, I don't really care.

[Joey]

Wishful thinking over there.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know, no, I, I, I, I. I think that when we did those. Did I ever tell you the story of the first goal that we did? So it was the first goal when I first came on as co host to get to 5,000.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

And it was. Joey will pelt me with eggs, by the way.

[Joey]

Not my idea.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I.

[Frank]

Am like, we grew up in the Jackass era. Which, by the way, they announced a new movie's coming out in June.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank]

They're still doing I'm there, brother.

[Joey]

Yeah, you're there.

[Frank]

I am there. But I was like, joey will pelt me with eggs. And he was like, all right. And we filmed it in his bathroom.

[Joey]

He just climbed into my bed tub.

[Frank]

And he, like, from standing threw them. And whether it be because I'm a little more doughy than he is, they weren't breaking when they were hitting me. So it was hitting me in the chest and it was just not breaking.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So he would throw it and it would only break when it, like, hit, like, my arm and, like, the tub where it met. And then we film it. It hurts. He's like, it's unusable footage.

[Joey]

You know, there was way less of a budget back then. So, like, the video just looked horrible. And I'm like, it. The eggs weren't breaking. Like, it's stupid. And he's like, are you kidding me? Wait, I do remember, actually, I saw the clip recently on Tick Tock where you were like, if we hit this thing, I'll come in in a tape soon.

[Frank]

Yeah. That was a crazy one because what people don't know about that, that that was painful. I looked ridiculous. And I had broke it out with a rash after because of the adhesive.

[Joey]

Oh, right.

[Frank]

This part of my body had broken out with, like an intense rash and it fucking sucked. It was not good.

[Joey]

I remember taking that tape off was interesting.

[Frank]

By interesting, you mean painful.

[Joey]

I. I felt horrible for you. Yeah.

[Frank]

Well, I think what we'll do this time around is like, how I was on the receiving end of all these.

[Joey]

Like, I deserve it.

[Frank]

You deserve something. Yeah. And I think it should be up to Ant to decide what that something is.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Frank]

Be careful.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Frank]

No, actually, leave it up to me.

[Ant]

Oh, no, no. I already said yes.

[Frank]

No, but you didn't say yes. You said okay. Why?

[Ant]

Didn't expect this gonna be all shot caller. I don't expect this power.

[Frank]

I'll think there is an episode I want to revisit that we did that included the shot collars. I was thinking about it the other day. Do you remember the episode we did where it was like, you should know, like, and it was like you asked me questions about things that you like.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank]

And I asked you questions about things that I like.

[Joey]

All right.

[Frank]

And like, if you didn't get it, I got shocked.

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, I. I don't trust you. I certainly don't trust.

[Ant]

Oh, I'm fair with that.

[Frank]

He's better. He's more. He's better to have shock button than I am.

[Joey]

There's nothing I hate more than that besides a tarantula.

[Frank]

Here, here. How about this?

[Ant]

I also bought new shock collars, so how about this?

[Frank]

No, it's weird that you bought them and you haven't used them yet. What do you use them for?

[Ant]

I've used them. I don't. Not here.

[Frank]

Where?

[Ant]

Other places.

[Joey]

In my underwear.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my underwear.

[Joey]

And my socks. Don't forget.

[Frank]

Yeah, his socks.

[Joey]

What are you doing? Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it's underwear.

[Frank]

Can you do me a favor? Can we put out a poll? Just ask people what kind of stuff they want to see.

[Ant]

Oh, don't let them do that.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ant]

Don't give them the power. No, we're gonna be skydiving.

[Frank]

See, this is why. This is why. This is why we need you. And I.

[Joey]

Would you skydive ever?

[Frank]

No, No. I used to be like. Yeah. And Now I have kids and I'm like, no.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank]

If I die skydiving. That's so stupid.

[Joey]

That's so dumb.

[Frank]

So dumb.

[Joey]

Yeah, it's tough, kids.

[Frank]

They keep your feet on the ground, literally and figuratively. Yeah. That's an incredible line I just came.

[Joey]

Up with that you're impressed with.

[Ant]

So I'm bringing the shock collars in next week. Is that.

[Joey]

We're saying no.

[Frank]

I. I also.

[Joey]

No.

[Frank]

I'm always down to get shocked. I have no problem with it.

[Joey]

I don't like it.

[Ant]

That was a pretty hard no.

[Joey]

So I don't. I don't like it. We could throw one on him if he'd like.

[Frank]

We can also put one on your arm. Grow up.

[Joey]

I don't like it.

[Frank]

Grow up. You could do it.

[Ant]

Oh, now who's pressuring who?

[Joey]

Yeah, Pressure guy. You're a pressure washer.

[Frank]

I'm not a pressure washer.

[Joey]

Yes, you are. You're washing me.

[Frank]

I'm not.

[Ant]

Stop that.

[Frank]

You can't start the episode being so ashamed of your micro dick that now you're going up with me. Micro washing it.

[Joey]

The term is micro penis. 1.

[Frank]

Oh, sorry. I apologize for your condition.

[Joey]

2. I don't have a micro penis. Although it's fine if you do have one. I don't know how he feels about it. You could mark me down for 10 more dollars. I just pointed.

[Ant]

Oh, I missed it.

[Frank]

It is fine, but I'm not gonna do it. Neil's still watching. Yeah, Neil.

[Joey]

I really hope Neil checked out.

[Frank]

And. And the Backstreet Boys. They can't be involved with micro penises.

[Joey]

Yeah, I can't. I don't like the shocking.

[Frank]

I'll eat, like, spicy.

[Joey]

That doesn't really. But I mean, that sucks. But, like, bothers me way less than the shock.

[Frank]

What about.

[Joey]

It's the anticipation.

[Ant]

Made a mistake.

[Frank]

I know what I could do with. I know what we can get him with. If we mixed a shot of olive juice and malort.

[Joey]

What does that.

[Frank]

Do you hate olives? Oh.

[Joey]

Oh. I don't know why I was thinking olive oil.

[Frank]

Is there anything that really makes you gag?

[Joey]

I really don't like tuna fish. Nah. You guys are. You guys gotta grow up. That's the thing. You guys gotta grow up. You gotta be. Join a grown gentleman.

[Frank]

I look. I looked at Ant, and you know what he did?

[Joey]

I know you're gonna make this up.

[Ant]

Thank you.

[Joey]

I'm not on your side. Oh, and I'm getting bullied.

[Frank]

I.

[Joey]

There's bullying going on.

[Frank]

Ant, did you not do this?

[Ant]

I sort of did that.

[Frank]

Oh, I sort of did that. Now who's being the lying teller? I'm sorry. I'm tired.

[Joey]

I feel like we are getting drunker.

[Ant]

I know.

[Joey]

Just talked about, and I'm like, am I hammered or something? What's going on here?

[Frank]

All right, we'll figure it out.

[Joey]

We're going to figure it out off air and we'll get back to you guys, but we're closing in on 40 and we'll see what happens here.

[Frank]

Yeah, we'll be good.

[Ant]

See what happens.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ant]

Exciting stuff.

[Frank]

Yeah. Thank you guys for joining us. Boy, I appreciate it. Ant, I think is happy about it, too. You tell me. Yeah, yeah. What?

[Joey]

I'm happy.

[Frank]

Sounds like you're trying to convince me.

[Joey]

More bullying before we leave.

[Frank]

No, we are. Jokes aside, like, the nomination for the I Heart Podcast Awards is because of you guys, and we are truly, truly appreciative and, like, humbled. This all is, like, very crazy to us, and just getting the opportunity to do this is amazing. And then getting the chance to, you know, be validated by you guys is. Is unreal. So thank you, guys, from the bottom of my heart.

[Joey]

Yeah, it's. It's really cool to get that recognition because it's not something that we ever really expected, to be honest. I mean, all this is pretty unexpected, so it's. It's. But it's a really cool thing, so hope we win. But if we don't, no need to feel bad for us. We're just happy to be in the building. All right. But, yeah, you guys can go follow the show at the basement yard on Tick Tock and Instagram, and you can find thin ice, baby. Thin, thin, thin ice.

[Frank]

You should know that after all the bullying about his. His. You're in with him. I'm in.

[Joey]

You're not with. You're not on that same time as him.

[Frank]

You know, I can't ice skate, so I'm not even anywhere near thin ice.

[Joey]

That is all. We'll see you guys next time.