#541 - How's Your Algorithm - The Basement Yard

Transcript

Narrator/Advertiser (0:00)

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Joe Santa (0:30)

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard.

Frank Alvarez (0:39)

Decked out in all white.

Joe Santa (0:41)

There he is.

Ant (0:42)

Why do you say it like that?

Joe Santa (0:44)

What?

Ant (0:45)

Decked out in all white like that. It felt. Felt wrong, right?

Joe Santa (0:49)

Make everything like a thing.

Ant (0:51)

I don't know. And I don't want to offend anybody. So we're gonna pivot.

Joe Santa (0:56)

Yeah, I'm gonna have CNN's gonna.

Ant (0:58)

No, but it is really, really cool that, like, I do think. And this isn't cool. I do think, though, that, like, when we get together, your algorithm is like, listening to what we're talking about. It'll be like, let's send this. Because how many times have we talked about something, whether it be on the show or off the show? We leave here and then immediately a tick tock of it posts. Like, it pops up in my timeline.

Joe Santa (1:20)

Mine is like, pretty. See, the problem is, like, sometimes I'll like what I really don't like. And this is why yo Twitter is horrible. Like, it's so bad. Everyone is like, miserable on that app. And like TikTok, you can get to a point where there's a lot of just misery back and forth. And I'm like, I can't.

Ant (1:39)

Like, I will purposefully, like, get out.

Joe Santa (1:40)

Of those and try to watch like, nice stuff. Like, I just want to be warmed by the heart by.

Ant (1:47)

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #541: "How's Your Algorithm"
Hosted by Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez, with Ant & Prisco
Date: February 9, 2026

Overview

This episode dives into the personal quirks and shared experiences of the Basement Yard crew, focusing on how social media algorithms tap into their conversations, the evolution of gifting and cards in adulthood, nostalgia about childhood trends, and a hilariously in-depth tangent about insects, bugs, and bodily functions. The banter as always is light-hearted, irreverent, and full of sharp New York humor. Practical life wisdom and absurd comedy often share the same sentence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Media Algorithms and “Listening” (00:56–03:18)

The group discusses the eerie feeling that their devices are “listening” and serving up TikToks about whatever they talk about off-mic.
Joe: Describes his effort to cultivate a positive feed, steering away from negativity on Twitter or TikTok.
Ant: Suggests doing a Patreon episode where each brings their five favorite TikToks to share.
Shared Rituals: Conversations about couples sharing their “liked” TikToks at night—a new form of intimacy.
- Ant: "I'll be like, you got anything for me?... Let's see what we've liked." (01:47)
Selection process: Ant is highly selective with likes, seeing the “like” as meaningful curation.

2. Cards, Gifting, and Family Traditions (03:23–06:36)

Extended riff on buying, customizing, and sometimes “repurposing” cards (e.g., getting a “Happy Birthday Grandma” card for friends for laughs).
- Joe: "Sometimes... I'll just get like, a Happy birthday, Grandma." (05:00)
Parents’ habits of underlining or personalizing cards, and who gets cards as you become an adult (“you reach a point in life where a birthday is just like, high five”).
Joe & Ant: Reminisce about siblings’ old card traditions and how their parents keep every card ever given.
Hilarious Miscommunication: Running joke about “cremated” vs “creamed” when talking about Ant’s dad’s wishes; turns into a chaotic side riff.
- Joe: "He wants to be creamed? Your dad wants to be creamed when he dies?" (06:31)

3. Embarrassing Social Moments & Long Island City Story (07:20–09:49)

Frank’s story about an awkward invite—to hang out with his uncle just because he moved to Long Island City.
- Reveals the universal cringe of saying something dumb and instantly wanting to take it back.
- Frank: "It was almost like you didn't say it... like someone else did it with your mouth." (09:47)

4. The "Ant Colony" & Merch Jokes (10:17–12:04)

Banter about Ant’s new “Ant Colony” sweatshirt—a concept that came from fans but has become an inside joke and potential merch idea.
Light surrealism about whether Prisco is an actual ant or a human in an ant suit.

5. Nostalgia: Ant Farms, Alien Ant Farm, and Early 2000s Trends (12:04–14:08)

Reminiscing about ant farms, Alien Ant Farm’s Michael Jackson cover, scary music video special effects, and wanting colored contacts as a kid.
Discussion of childhood wardrobe decisions and sibling influences on style:
- Joe: "If I didn’t have siblings, I'd have flames going up my arms." (13:11)
Musings over trends like diamond earrings and the “gay ear” urban legend.

6. Ricing Potatoes & Childhood Vehicle Fantasies (16:06–16:59, 53:17–53:35)

Jokes about childhood dreams influenced by games like Need for Speed—cars souped up with neon lights and hydraulics.
Brief sidebar on mashed potato quality and kitchen gadgets like the potato ricer.

7. Obscure TikTok Games: "What Does This Sound Like?" (26:56–33:39)

Prisco introduces a TikTok account where a musical note is played, and listeners guess if it “looks” or “tastes” more like something bizarre (“gushers or olive oil,” “cracked screen glare or fireflies flickering”).
- Frank: "This is... the fuck is that? First of all, that sounds like a video game." (27:47)
The crew weighs in, combining synesthesia, nonsense, and genuine curiosity.

8. Firefly Anatomy and Insect Sex (32:25–37:01)

Extended, scientifically incorrect but hilarious exploration of firefly biology, why their butts light up, and how bug mating rituals work.
Discussion of females sometimes eating males post-mating, leading to comparisons to mantises.

9. Bug & Animal Show Dares: Coyote Peterson & Pain Tier Lists (38:06–45:53)

Entertaining tangent about YouTuber Coyote Peterson stinging and biting himself for educational content—debating the worst bites/stings (bullet ants, executioner wasps, tarantula hawks).
Watching and reacting to a Coyote Peterson video where he gets stung.
- Joe: "That's gotta hurt like hell, bro." (45:02)

10. Outdoors & Bodily Functions (53:54–60:02)

Warmly nostalgic discussion of peeing outdoors after drinking—unfiltered guy talk about the perfect outdoor “nature piss,” the science of hot pee, and competing to break dirt or tree bark.
- Ant: "I am a demon. I'm pissing hot." (59:14)
Fear of ticks, bodily functions, and the dangers of peeing in wild lakes.

11. Worth & Friendship: Would You Do a Billionaire’s Party? (51:16–54:37)

Hypothetical: Would you perform at a billionaire’s party for $250k each? (Everyone says yes almost immediately.)
- Ant: "If a billionaire calls you tomorrow and says, I'm gonna pay you and your dumbass Hispanic friend $250,000 cash each..." (51:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Ant on TikTok Algorithm:
"When we get together, your algorithm is like, listening to what we're talking about... Then immediately a TikTok of it pops up in my timeline." (00:58)
Joe on Cards:
"Sometimes... I'll just get like, a Happy birthday, Grandma. Or just like a completely separate card." (05:00)
Frank on Social Fails:
"It was like someone else did it with your mouth and you were like, what am I doing?" (09:47)
Prisco on Ants & Merch:
"Why not just commit to just being an ant? Not being in an ant suit." (11:13)
On Literal Hot Takes:
Ant: “I am a demon. I’m pissing hot.” (59:14)
On Masculine Bonding:
Joe: "What's better than taking a piss outside?" (57:56)
Ant: "Taking a piss outside in the woods with a beer in your hand." (58:02)
On Stupidity as Success:
Ant: "Imagine being so dumb... you dumb your way to the top and you get nominated for I Heart Podcast Best Comedy Podcast." (48:42)

Timestamps for Important Segments

Algorithm Talk & TikTok Rituals: 00:56 – 03:18
Card Traditions & Family: 03:23 – 06:36
Long Island City Social Story: 07:20 – 09:49
Ant Colony Merch & Ant Farm Nostalgia: 10:17 – 14:08
Childhood Trends, Music Video Style: 12:21 – 14:06
Car Mod Dreams & Hydraulics Math: 16:06 – 16:59
TikTok Guessing Game Segment: 26:56 – 33:39
Fireflies, Insect Biology Comedy: 32:25 – 37:01
Coyote Peterson, Worst Bug Stings: 38:06 – 45:53
Peeing Outdoors & Science of Hot Piss: 53:54 – 60:02
Tick Anxiety Wrap-Up: 61:02 – 61:30

Tone & Style

Language: Casual, explicit, highly conversational.
Mood: Irreverent, nostalgic, and frequently absurd.
Chemistry: True to the show's core—friends riffing with genuine affection and the confidence to indulge in extended, pointless tangents for comedic effect.

In Short:
If you love the easy chemistry, in-jokes, and New York bluntness of the Basement Yard, this episode is a pure showcase—shaped around social tech, family quirks, gross-out bug knowledge, and why peeing outside is (apparently) peak masculinity.