#541 - How's Your Algorithm

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #541: "How's Your Algorithm"
Hosted by Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez, with Ant & Prisco
Date: February 9, 2026

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Overview

This episode dives into the personal quirks and shared experiences of the Basement Yard crew, focusing on how social media algorithms tap into their conversations, the evolution of gifting and cards in adulthood, nostalgia about childhood trends, and a hilariously in-depth tangent about insects, bugs, and bodily functions. The banter as always is light-hearted, irreverent, and full of sharp New York humor. Practical life wisdom and absurd comedy often share the same sentence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Media Algorithms and “Listening” (00:56–03:18)

• The group discusses the eerie feeling that their devices are “listening” and serving up TikToks about whatever they talk about off-mic.
• Joe: Describes his effort to cultivate a positive feed, steering away from negativity on Twitter or TikTok.
• Ant: Suggests doing a Patreon episode where each brings their five favorite TikToks to share.
• Shared Rituals: Conversations about couples sharing their “liked” TikToks at night—a new form of intimacy.
  • Ant: "I'll be like, you got anything for me?... Let's see what we've liked." (01:47)
• Selection process: Ant is highly selective with likes, seeing the “like” as meaningful curation.

2. Cards, Gifting, and Family Traditions (03:23–06:36)

• Extended riff on buying, customizing, and sometimes “repurposing” cards (e.g., getting a “Happy Birthday Grandma” card for friends for laughs).
  • Joe: "Sometimes... I'll just get like, a Happy birthday, Grandma." (05:00)
• Parents’ habits of underlining or personalizing cards, and who gets cards as you become an adult (“you reach a point in life where a birthday is just like, high five”).
• Joe & Ant: Reminisce about siblings’ old card traditions and how their parents keep every card ever given.
• Hilarious Miscommunication: Running joke about “cremated” vs “creamed” when talking about Ant’s dad’s wishes; turns into a chaotic side riff.
  • Joe: "He wants to be creamed? Your dad wants to be creamed when he dies?" (06:31)

3. Embarrassing Social Moments & Long Island City Story (07:20–09:49)

• Frank’s story about an awkward invite—to hang out with his uncle just because he moved to Long Island City.
  • Reveals the universal cringe of saying something dumb and instantly wanting to take it back.
  • Frank: "It was almost like you didn't say it... like someone else did it with your mouth." (09:47)

4. The "Ant Colony" & Merch Jokes (10:17–12:04)

• Banter about Ant’s new “Ant Colony” sweatshirt—a concept that came from fans but has become an inside joke and potential merch idea.
• Light surrealism about whether Prisco is an actual ant or a human in an ant suit.

5. Nostalgia: Ant Farms, Alien Ant Farm, and Early 2000s Trends (12:04–14:08)

• Reminiscing about ant farms, Alien Ant Farm’s Michael Jackson cover, scary music video special effects, and wanting colored contacts as a kid.
• Discussion of childhood wardrobe decisions and sibling influences on style:
  • Joe: "If I didn’t have siblings, I'd have flames going up my arms." (13:11)
• Musings over trends like diamond earrings and the “gay ear” urban legend.

6. Ricing Potatoes & Childhood Vehicle Fantasies (16:06–16:59, 53:17–53:35)

• Jokes about childhood dreams influenced by games like Need for Speed—cars souped up with neon lights and hydraulics.
• Brief sidebar on mashed potato quality and kitchen gadgets like the potato ricer.

7. Obscure TikTok Games: "What Does This Sound Like?" (26:56–33:39)

• Prisco introduces a TikTok account where a musical note is played, and listeners guess if it “looks” or “tastes” more like something bizarre (“gushers or olive oil,” “cracked screen glare or fireflies flickering”).
  • Frank: "This is... the fuck is that? First of all, that sounds like a video game." (27:47)
• The crew weighs in, combining synesthesia, nonsense, and genuine curiosity.

8. Firefly Anatomy and Insect Sex (32:25–37:01)

• Extended, scientifically incorrect but hilarious exploration of firefly biology, why their butts light up, and how bug mating rituals work.
• Discussion of females sometimes eating males post-mating, leading to comparisons to mantises.

9. Bug & Animal Show Dares: Coyote Peterson & Pain Tier Lists (38:06–45:53)

• Entertaining tangent about YouTuber Coyote Peterson stinging and biting himself for educational content—debating the worst bites/stings (bullet ants, executioner wasps, tarantula hawks).
• Watching and reacting to a Coyote Peterson video where he gets stung.
  • Joe: "That's gotta hurt like hell, bro." (45:02)

10. Outdoors & Bodily Functions (53:54–60:02)

• Warmly nostalgic discussion of peeing outdoors after drinking—unfiltered guy talk about the perfect outdoor “nature piss,” the science of hot pee, and competing to break dirt or tree bark.
  • Ant: "I am a demon. I'm pissing hot." (59:14)
• Fear of ticks, bodily functions, and the dangers of peeing in wild lakes.

11. Worth & Friendship: Would You Do a Billionaire’s Party? (51:16–54:37)

• Hypothetical: Would you perform at a billionaire’s party for $250k each? (Everyone says yes almost immediately.)
  • Ant: "If a billionaire calls you tomorrow and says, I'm gonna pay you and your dumbass Hispanic friend $250,000 cash each..." (51:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ant on TikTok Algorithm:
  "When we get together, your algorithm is like, listening to what we're talking about... Then immediately a TikTok of it pops up in my timeline." (00:58)

• Joe on Cards:
  "Sometimes... I'll just get like, a Happy birthday, Grandma. Or just like a completely separate card." (05:00)

• Frank on Social Fails:
  "It was like someone else did it with your mouth and you were like, what am I doing?" (09:47)

• Prisco on Ants & Merch:
  "Why not just commit to just being an ant? Not being in an ant suit." (11:13)

• On Literal Hot Takes:
  Ant: “I am a demon. I’m pissing hot.” (59:14)

• On Masculine Bonding:
  Joe: "What's better than taking a piss outside?" (57:56)
  Ant: "Taking a piss outside in the woods with a beer in your hand." (58:02)

• On Stupidity as Success:
  Ant: "Imagine being so dumb... you dumb your way to the top and you get nominated for I Heart Podcast Best Comedy Podcast." (48:42)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Algorithm Talk & TikTok Rituals: 00:56 – 03:18
• Card Traditions & Family: 03:23 – 06:36
• Long Island City Social Story: 07:20 – 09:49
• Ant Colony Merch & Ant Farm Nostalgia: 10:17 – 14:08
• Childhood Trends, Music Video Style: 12:21 – 14:06
• Car Mod Dreams & Hydraulics Math: 16:06 – 16:59
• TikTok Guessing Game Segment: 26:56 – 33:39
• Fireflies, Insect Biology Comedy: 32:25 – 37:01
• Coyote Peterson, Worst Bug Stings: 38:06 – 45:53
• Peeing Outdoors & Science of Hot Piss: 53:54 – 60:02
• Tick Anxiety Wrap-Up: 61:02 – 61:30

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Tone & Style

• Language: Casual, explicit, highly conversational.
• Mood: Irreverent, nostalgic, and frequently absurd.
• Chemistry: True to the show's core—friends riffing with genuine affection and the confidence to indulge in extended, pointless tangents for comedic effect.

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In Short:
If you love the easy chemistry, in-jokes, and New York bluntness of the Basement Yard, this episode is a pure showcase—shaped around social tech, family quirks, gross-out bug knowledge, and why peeing outside is (apparently) peak masculinity.

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Transcript

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[Joe Santa]

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Decked out in all white.

[Joe Santa]

There he is.

[Ant]

Why do you say it like that?

[Joe Santa]

What?

[Ant]

Decked out in all white like that. It felt. Felt wrong, right?

[Joe Santa]

Make everything like a thing.

[Ant]

I don't know. And I don't want to offend anybody. So we're gonna pivot.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I'm gonna have CNN's gonna.

[Ant]

No, but it is really, really cool that, like, I do think. And this isn't cool. I do think, though, that, like, when we get together, your algorithm is like, listening to what we're talking about. It'll be like, let's send this. Because how many times have we talked about something, whether it be on the show or off the show? We leave here and then immediately a tick tock of it posts. Like, it pops up in my timeline.

[Joe Santa]

Mine is like, pretty. See, the problem is, like, sometimes I'll like what I really don't like. And this is why yo Twitter is horrible. Like, it's so bad. Everyone is like, miserable on that app. And like TikTok, you can get to a point where there's a lot of just misery back and forth. And I'm like, I can't.

[Ant]

Like, I will purposefully, like, get out.

[Joe Santa]

Of those and try to watch like, nice stuff. Like, I just want to be warmed by the heart by.

[Ant]

You know what we should do? We should do a Patreon episode. That it is niche, but we each bring in, like, our five favorite TikToks and we show them to each other just because, like, it's such a sense of camaraderie. Like, Becca and I will lay in bed and. And I'll be like, you like anything for me? And she'll be like, come look. And we like, sit there and we go through, like, her TikTok.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, yeah, I do that.

[Ant]

Like, that.

[Joe Santa]

I don't do it every day, but, like, definitely, like, there's a check in.

[Ant]

Of like, let's see what we've liked.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, let's See, like, what did you like?

[Ant]

What did I like? Let's combine.

[Joe Santa]

Also, obviously mine is the best. And you think yours is the best. I've never met anyone whose likes are better than mine.

[Ant]

I mean, I think I, I, I, I don't like a lot. I am very selective with what I'm going to like.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, you're trying to build a try.

[Ant]

Bingo. I'm trying to, I'm trying to make it like, oh, man.

[Joe Santa]

Like, these are good.

[Ant]

Like, this is a good like over here. You know, a well placed, like.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I also get a lot of. I don't know if you guys get these. It's like tick tocks of like, like not. I don't want to say poorly drawn because that sounds disrespectful, but it's like, it's like animation that like looks more Sketch. Yeah, like sketched animation. And it's like to my partner, you are my home, you are my life.

[Joe Santa]

Like, are you watching?

[Ant]

It's like cute little. And I said, now. They, I sent it to Becca once. Oh. And now it's always. So now every time I see it, I'm like, all right, I'll just send.

[Joe Santa]

It over to her, you know.

[Ant]

But like, it's like, it's like a little drawing and it's like you don't realize what you mean to me, but it's over like hand drawn animation.

[Joe Santa]

And then you take credit for the words and you're like, of course.

[Ant]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Prisco]

This is how I feel.

[Ant]

My thought.

[Frank Alvarez]

Instead of me saying it, instead of.

[Ant]

Me saying it, I'm just going to show you a video of someone else doing it. Very well.

[Joe Santa]

That's the, it's the equivalent of like a Valentine's card. You just, dear, dear babe, love me and whatever's written in it.

[Prisco]

You're like, you underline some words.

[Joe Santa]

Dude, I've done that. You do that.

[Ant]

You do that.

[Joe Santa]

I don't. I've changed words so it makes sense.

[Ant]

My what? Like I'll like as a joke.

[Joe Santa]

Like, I'll cross it out and like do it.

[Ant]

Like a word that, like, you know, instead of saying love, you say hate.

[Joe Santa]

No, no, I'll change like some of the words so it makes a little bit more sense.

[Ant]

Or like I'll put like an inside.

[Joe Santa]

Joke instead of like your hair is like the ocean and the breeze. Like, I'll like cross that out and put like something that I, my parent.

[Ant]

I thought it was only my parents, really. My mom that does this were like, she like triple underlines the part of the car that she wants to, like, really draw home.

[Joe Santa]

You are the best.

[Ant]

Yes, yes. Literally. I was like, that's just such a my mom thing. But I guess it's a. Your parents and you guys as well.

[Joe Santa]

I've done it.

[Prisco]

I've, like, underlined my parents or my mom.

[Ant]

Yeah, not your dad.

[Prisco]

No, I don't.

[Ant]

Yellow ain't giving you any cars, bro.

[Joe Santa]

Me and Keith used to give my. When we used to get my mom, like, Mother's Day cards. Keith used to write Keith San Agato in the car.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we've got over that.

[Joe Santa]

It's the most insane thing in the world.

[Ant]

I remember.

[Joe Santa]

You are definitely a huge card guy, right?

[Ant]

Oh, big card guy.

[Joe Santa]

Like, no, you fill that bitch up.

[Ant]

Yes, yes. I like to, like, write.

[Joe Santa]

Write a lot.

[Ant]

You know, I do. I think that it's heartwarming. You know, we.

[Joe Santa]

Do you do it for everyone or just Becca, like, your brother's birthday, you're going to, like, give him a card?

[Ant]

It's. It's gotten shorter on siblings, you know. Now my attention is, like, going toward kids and. Becca, do you give your brother a card? No. I can't even tell you. Last time I give, I gave my brothers or my sister a card. But, like, nieces and nephews, they get cards.

[Joe Santa]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Ant]

You know, you reach a point in life where a birthday, like, it's just like, high five.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, Miller Light. Yeah, that's what we're.

[Ant]

But I. I'm a big card guy. I have cards from, like, high school, middle school. Yeah. I have one that someone got me a High School Musical card. And you open it up and it was like, when you open it, it sings, but the battery's so that it's like.

[Joe Santa]

You know what I've done? Sometimes, like. Sometimes, like, for a birthday or something, I'll just get like, a Happy birthday, Grandma. Or just like a completely separate card.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Just to try and make it work.

[Ant]

We. My. My siblings and I used to do that for, like, birthdays. Like a 20th birthday. We got, like, a quinceanera card in Spanish, you know, because it's hysterical. Does your.

[Joe Santa]

Do you get your dad cards?

[Ant]

I haven't in a while because, again, I'm an adult now. But when we did, like, he. He's one of those people where he has all the cards we've ever given him.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, that's where you get that.

[Ant]

And he's like, I'm telling you right now, when you cremate with me, I want all my Cause in there with me.

[Joe Santa]

He wants to be creamed. Your dad wants to be creamed when he dies?

[Ant]

Cremated. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I want to make sure we're establishing that as the proper way.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, he's getting cream.

[Prisco]

Dad wants to be cream.

[Joe Santa]

Write that down.

[Ant]

Why must you write that down?

[Joe Santa]

Also, just a note. Just to take a note.

[Ant]

Also, first of all, please don't. My dad will hear this.

[Joe Santa]

No, Shot in hell, dude. He's checked out already.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's gone. Yeah, he's in Columbia.

[Ant]

He doesn't give a fuck about this.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I'm going next year.

[Ant]

Oh, you are going to Columbia?

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, Medellin.

[Ant]

That's where my dad lives.

[Joe Santa]

Dude, imagine I accidentally.

[Ant]

You can hang out with my father, can you?

[Frank Alvarez]

You better be careful.

[Ant]

So you sitting here saying, my dad is creamed, you're going to where he fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know what you're gonna bring up, what you're going to bring up. And I'm.

[Prisco]

I'm calling 30.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no, he's calling 30. I am, I am going to pivot before he does. This is a real. Because I get second hand embarrassment from this story. I knew you were going to. It reminded me it was so bad. You often in life catch yourself saying.

[Ant]

Something stupid and you're just like, that was so dumb.

[Joe Santa]

I will allow Frank to fill in the blanks after I tell the framing.

[Frank Alvarez]

But we were younger and we were going somewhere. No, I'll tell the story because it.

[Ant]

Deserves to be properly told. Joey had just purchased a fucking apartment in Long Island City. The place was sick. And it was. For those of you guys that don't live in New York or know Long Island City, It. It's awesome. It was like cool bars, cool restaurants. Before it became like, cool to be cool. It was Long Island City. And my uncle had always lived in Long Island City. And when he got the place, oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

My God, this place is dope, dude.

[Joe Santa]

Where is it? I'm like, oh, it's in Long Island City. Oh, dude, we can hang out with my uncle.

[Ant]

I said, what? I said, why would we hang?

[Joe Santa]

And I could see as soon as the words left his mouth that he was like, what have I done?

[Ant]

What have I done?

[Joe Santa]

And I was like, why?

[Frank Alvarez]

Why would we hang out with your uncle? Like, it was just like. And it's funny because, like, if it.

[Ant]

Was like an uncle that was like, I love my younger, like, younger cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, like, I mean, I'm not getting crazy. He's a cool dude.

[Ant]

He's a cool dude. But, like, not like, if it was like, I have an uncle that works for the NFL. We can hang out with him. No, he was an elect. Is an electrician or so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, hey, let's go hang out with my uncle. He's an electrician.

[Joe Santa]

Or if he was like 30 something.

[Ant]

Mid to late 40s, maybe even 50.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, dude, we can go hang out. My uncle. I said what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I said it.

[Ant]

And as the last syllable left my mouth, your brain just instantly registered, this is the dumbest thing that I have ever heard.

[Joe Santa]

I can also see on your face that you do, like, it was almost like you didn't say it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like someone else did it.

[Joe Santa]

With your mouth and you were like, what am I doing?

[Ant]

Well, it was a prime example of, like, I had the idea, and the idea went from my brain out through my mouth at the exact same time. There was no filter. Like, people think like, oh, he's not filtered. Like, he says, fucked up shit. No, it was filled. Not filtered in the sense of like, the idea should have stopped right where it was, right in the throat.

[Frank Alvarez]

It just kept going.

[Ant]

Oh, it was bad. It was bad.

[Joe Santa]

So funny. Yeah, dude, we go, hang on. My uncle.

[Ant]

Oh, by the way, we have, we have. We have not addressed ants sweatshirt. Oh, oh, dude.

[Joe Santa]

First of all, I was in my office. He comes over, knocks on it and.

[Ant]

Just goes.

[Joe Santa]

Look, it's cool. No, the ant colony.

[Ant]

I will say you're leaning in.

[Joe Santa]

You're leaning in.

[Ant]

I got them. I will say, from Greg's TikTok to that sweatshirt, you expedited that process.

[Prisco]

It was actually already in the works, believe it or not, before he made that.

[Ant]

Really?

[Prisco]

Yeah, I saw a comment on it. I went like a while ago on an old episode, I went doing that.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, someone said, the ant colony.

[Ant]

Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue.

[Joe Santa]

Cease and desist.

[Prisco]

Leaned into it. And then Greg made that social media post and he named the ant, called me. I went and I sent them the.

[Ant]

The like, well, you know what? Design immediately, it sucks since it was someone else's comment. We can't sell it now. So. Yeah, too bad.

[Prisco]

Well, they didn't make this.

[Ant]

It's true. I mean, why. First of all, why not just commit to just being an ant? Not being in an ant suit.

[Prisco]

I am an ant.

[Ant]

No, but like, you have an ant suit on because you have human face.

[Joe Santa]

He's always got sunglasses on.

[Ant]

Yeah, he's always got the sunglasses. But, like, you're. That's. You're a human in an ant costume. Yeah, why not just be an ant?

[Prisco]

And there's an ant colony and there's Little ants.

[Ant]

So what you're saying is that you are standing on. On a fabricated ant colony. So it's not real?

[Joe Santa]

What are you even saying?

[Prisco]

What are you talking real to me?

[Joe Santa]

You know what I low key liked a lot.

[Prisco]

Entourage?

[Joe Santa]

Ant Farms.

[Ant]

The ant farm.

[Joe Santa]

Like, you know, like.

[Ant]

Yeah, but the big glass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, really?

[Ant]

Like, I thought you meant, like, following.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, no, no, no. I meant like an actual ant farm. I mean, I wouldn't want one in my house because. Ew. But like, I'd like.

[Ant]

Look, I would love an ant farm in my house. That's really. That would be really fascinating.

[Joe Santa]

Be careful what you wish for, buddy. I'll get you a big ant farm.

[Ant]

I mean, I think that would be pretty cool. I. You know what I like? Alien Ant Farm.

[Joe Santa]

What's the other song?

[Ant]

That's the only one that I know.

[Joe Santa]

No, I mean, obviously they covered. That was the Alien Ant Farm song.

[Ant]

I think that's the only one.

[Joe Santa]

You don't know that song? It's called Satellites or something.

[Ant]

I don't know. I wouldn't even be.

[Joe Santa]

That's probably not the right song.

[Ant]

Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. They got big from taking a Michael Jackson song and doing a cover of it, bro.

[Joe Santa]

How about the dude in that music video used to scare the out of me because his eyes were like, all black.

[Ant]

What?

[Joe Santa]

You don't remember that?

[Ant]

I remember the guy who. I think the guitarist for definitely not Led Zeppelin. Limp Bizkit. Yeah. Had like, the white contacts, bro.

[Joe Santa]

I wanted those so bad.

[Ant]

I wanted those so bad too.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, my God, I wanted them so bad.

[Ant]

I thank God I didn't become the person I wanted to be in middle school.

[Joe Santa]

If I had a. Had choices, like, if I didn't have siblings, this would be so much worse. Yeah, Like, I'd have flames going up my arms.

[Ant]

I mean, honestly, my sister who, like, saved you. No, she pushed me down the worst parts of town because she was the first person that put a Yankee fitted on me. And she was like, do it like that. And I was like, jay, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it's like you took the ball.

[Joe Santa]

She may have been like, here. And you took that and you threw the legs, slammed it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I did.

[Joe Santa]

Because Frank was out here.

[Ant]

That is fair. But she was the one that was just like, you know, don't listen to Pokemon. Here's Nina sky, which, to her credit, sky, to her credit, a good pivot in some regards as I was growing up. But, like, she was very supportive of.

[Joe Santa]

You getting spray painted T shirts that were way Too big.

[Ant]

I don't know if she was supportive of that.

[Joe Santa]

Okay.

[Ant]

I can. There was a line that might have been the, you know, the fully created monster. You know, eventually Frankenstein's monster broke out from the lab. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Santa]

At that point, you can't control them.

[Ant]

You need the toy. Too big. Yes, sir.

[Prisco]

Are we gonna keep the hat like that?

[Joe Santa]

Fair question. To be fair.

[Ant]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable amounts of disrespect.

[Prisco]

How does he take off the hat and the hair looks good.

[Ant]

I don't know.

[Prisco]

How do you do that?

[Joe Santa]

Not on really.

[Prisco]

I just.

[Joe Santa]

It's not moving the sound you're making.

[Ant]

But good for you. I forgot I was saying. So your. Your siblings like reeled you in from like making terrible choices.

[Joe Santa]

Earrings.

[Ant]

I mean, the earrings wouldn't have been bad.

[Prisco]

Oh my God.

[Ant]

There's people watching this have been like, if Joe Santa gotta had a diamond.

[Joe Santa]

Stud in his ear, why I would have double earrings.

[Ant]

Oh, that's right, because one of them.

[Joe Santa]

You would have been gay.

[Ant]

Gay. Well, what was the gay ear? The right. The right one.

[Frank Alvarez]

The right one. And can you do me a favor.

[Ant]

And google which ear is the gay ear?

[Prisco]

Which.

[Ant]

Which Such a crazy.

[Joe Santa]

How is that.

[Ant]

How did we assign straight years was.

[Prisco]

I don't know, was that based in any reality?

[Ant]

Like there was. I will tell you what, in.

[Joe Santa]

In Queens, there was a reality.

[Ant]

Yeah, there was a saying that was just like the left. Like. Like if you just get just the.

[Joe Santa]

Right or just the left. It was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Prisco]

The right.

[Ant]

The right was the gay one. Yeah.

[Prisco]

Just make just.

[Joe Santa]

You know, that's my dominant ear though.

[Ant]

Dumb. You have a dominant ear.

[Joe Santa]

I mean, I'm right handed. I assume this is doing a better job than over here.

[Ant]

I don't think that's how that works. I think you picked up to be dominant in your hands that I pick right here. I will say this. Thank God you did have your siblings because I was probably the one that was pushing you down the path of just like.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, you would have made me worse too. I mean, both. Do you remember? I mean, I've had some tattoo ideas that were pretty bad. None were as bad as yours.

[Ant]

Yeah, that was bad.

[Joe Santa]

That was a pretty bad one.

[Ant]

I also, like, again, we were big fans of need for Speed Underground 2. And I, with every part of my soul being serious, wanted to get like a souped up Nissan 350Z or A.

[Joe Santa]

With neon lights on the floor.

[Ant]

A Toyota Celica with neon lights around.

[Joe Santa]

You know, I did too, to be fair.

[Ant]

Like the one where like the tires for some reason go out like that. Like I'm drifting. What is that about? It's a drifting thing. It's got it is it. It has to be. I don't know.

[Joe Santa]

I thought hydraulics were really cool. I'm like, yo, get this car bouncing.

[Ant]

Yeah. Because I'd be watching a fucking music video and I'd be like, these are the coolest people I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Joe Santa]

I still don't get hydraulics. And like why that's cool.

[Ant]

Like, it's like. I think we have since come around to be like, that's a little ridiculous. But like you're going to tell me if you're riding down the street and you got a car that's just fucking kind of fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what?

[Ant]

I'm coming back around on it.

[Joe Santa]

Back in. Put them on your car.

[Ant]

This is the worst time for me to get back into it. Because could make these decisions now.

[Joe Santa]

You could technically put hydraulics in your car. Would you do.

[Ant]

If I pulled up here and I said look out the window and it was the. The horn and then my fucking car is just. I have like a 67 coupe and it's just bouncing down the street.

[Joe Santa]

I would immediately be like, how much money did you spend on that? And also you hate your children. I guess.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I know this costs too much money.

[Ant]

Can you do me a favor, Ant? Can you go to a website where we can build a car?

[Joe Santa]

Ant, I don't think literally, don't do that.

[Ant]

I don't.

[Prisco]

I would have to make the website.

[Ant]

Just look up how much it would take to get hydraulics to make a car fucking bounce.

[Joe Santa]

How much does it cost to make the hood blow up?

[Ant]

I'm just talking like I want this to just be. Be hopping down the street.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, like a bunny. We should ask exhibit dude.

[Prisco]

He doesn't know it used to exceeds $10,000.

[Joe Santa]

I figured it would be around.

[Ant]

That's a lot of money.

[Joe Santa]

But you would need custom paint.

[Ant]

So look up candy pearlescent green or candy paint. Candy paint.

[Joe Santa]

Green.

[Ant]

Green. Candy paint.

[Prisco]

White on top.

[Joe Santa]

Just look it up and shut up.

[Ant]

Candy paint.

[Prisco]

No Post Malone.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, all right, I know, I know.

[Ant]

Look at the 24 inch spinning spreewell rims. Do you remember they would sell like those as hubcaps and they were like the flimsiest plastic candy paint.

[Prisco]

Green cost.

[Ant]

Because I wanted to be green on the inside, green on the outside.

[Prisco]

Oh my God. It could be from 2500 to over 15 G's.

[Ant]

See well, it depends on the.

[Joe Santa]

It's the amount of candy.

[Ant]

The amount of candy.

[Joe Santa]

Green candy, paint.

[Ant]

Damn. I might. I might kind of want to, like. I'm not going to.

[Joe Santa]

Can he paint your car? That'd be insane.

[Ant]

I would. I would like a cool color car. That would be.

[Prisco]

Don't you have, like, enough candy in your car already?

[Joe Santa]

No. He's got piss.

[Ant]

No. First of all, both of you, cut it out.

[Joe Santa]

Seeds in there.

[Ant]

I got. I got a lot of sunflower seeds.

[Joe Santa]

I got a lot. Is there still, like, a lot of seeds in there?

[Ant]

Oh, yeah. Bags.

[Joe Santa]

Bags.

[Ant]

I mean, I empty the bags out.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ant]

But, like, I get about 10 bags every time I go. That lasts me a couple weeks. And then 10 bags of seeds. Yeah. Every time I come in.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

It's one bag. I split it up. So it's half on the way in, half on the way out. And it's those big bags, too. The 300 grams, the Tatum red.

[Joe Santa]

Where do you get them? Now?

[Ant]

I got my places. I'm not gonna say where, because then people are gonna go and buy them.

[Joe Santa]

No one's gonna do that. You're the only one buying them by the tens.

[Ant]

There is a Turkish supermarket in Tom's river that I frequent, and then there is a very specific supermarket directly off the BQE in Staten Island.

[Joe Santa]

I know, I know.

[Ant]

That also has them.

[Joe Santa]

Wow.

[Ant]

And it's perfect.

[Joe Santa]

How did you find. Have you. Are you just driving around to supermarkets and trying to find them?

[Ant]

I have my methods of finding things. I like my sunflower seeds.

[Joe Santa]

Why are you making it sound like you're a secret agent and you could find things and.

[Ant]

Well, because we live in a time now.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I'm not listening to this. I'm not listening.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no.

[Ant]

Now you opened the canopy. Allow my baboon ass to fly out at you.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was one of the craziest things, and I actually love that one.

[Joe Santa]

Out of all the ones, usually they're bad. That was amazing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Open academy and let my baboon ass fly out at you makes it. That's insane.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we're gonna do it.

[Joe Santa]

Also. I guess we have some sponsors to get to now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right after the baboon ass.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, and good.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a brand new sponsor we've never.

[Joe Santa]

Done before, isn't it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it is.

[Joe Santa]

Kachava.

[Ant]

Yep.

[Joe Santa]

Good.

[Ant]

Shit. All right, I'm sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

Start again.

[Ant]

My bad. It's really good.

[Frank Alvarez]

They opened up the canopy, too. They got it.

[Ant]

Let me show them.

[Joe Santa]

Kachava is amazing. Okay. This is it provides clean nutrition to fuel whatever your day takes you to. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, non GMO, no soy, no animal products. It is amazing. But two scoops of that is 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber. There's greens, adaptogens and so much more. Honestly, when I found out that they were going to be a sponsor on the show I was very excited because they send you some free bags. But I've been buying cachava for a year. Year like literally the last like five years or something like that. I like did research on good proteins because I there's only a certain types that I like that agree with me and this is one of them and they have everything. It's, it's really good but they have really good flavors. They have chocolate which is delicious.

[Ant]

I cannot stop drinking the chai. The chai is unbelievable.

[Joe Santa]

The vanilla is very good. They also have matcha, coconut, acai and strawberry which I haven't tried the strawberry and I would like to but you could try it risk free with their love it guarantee. But yeah, it's really good. But they have all this stuff in it like I said, you know, they have 6 gram of fiber, 25 grams of protein. So it's really good. So you can stick with your wellness goals. Go to kachava.com and use the code BASEMENT for 15% off. That is Kachava. We'll spell it for you. K A slash basement to get that 15 off. But go check it out. There's you know, you'll see all the nutritional facts on the website, you'll see how much it has to offer, but really good cachava.com the code is basement. Okay and sorry, we also have hello fresh. Hello fresh is going to bring the joys of, you know, cooking right to your doorstep. They make it easy for this time of year. You can choose from more than 100 recipes every single week including cuisines from around the world and meals to help you beat the winter blues. So you go onto their website, you pick out you know what you want. They also have categories. So if you know, you want to do a mediterranean type of diet or you know, protein friendly or slow calorie things like that, they can have the food for you but they have wholesome ingredients, sustainably sourced seafood and 100% antibiotic and hormone free chicken. Okay, so you can go check it out. Go to hellofresh.com basement10fm to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife which is $145 value on your third box. Okay. The offer is valid by supplies. Last free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. It varies by plan, but again, that is hellofresh.com basement10fm to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife, which is $150 value. I've used hellofresh numerous times before. My mom is a massive hellofresh fan. So it's awesome. Go check it out.

[Ant]

Yeah, you know what else is awesome? Patreon patreon.com the basyard I tell you about how awesome it is every week, all right? And I if I have to say it again, I'm going to be mad about it. But you know what? I'm not going to be mad about it. And I am going to say it again. You want more of us? Go to patreon.com the Basement Yard Take a look at those tiers. That first tier, that'll get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. That's right. You'll get in on the jokes. You'll get in on the baboon ass. You'll get in whatever you want to get in on one week before everybody else. And the only other people that have it are our patrons. Are incredibly loyal, amazing patrons.

[Joe Santa]

So.

[Ant]

Thank you. And also that next tier, you get exclusive, exclusive episodes every single Friday. Patreon exclusive episodes. And if you join, you can see all the previous ones. If you're brand new or if you were gone for a little bit, whatever you missed, you'll see them. So every single Friday morning, you'll get the opportunity to get an exclusive Patreon episode. That'll be right into your eye holes, baby. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard thank you. Guys. We're approaching 40,000 patrons. Are you kidding me? This is incredible. You saw. You saw how passionate I am about it.

[Joe Santa]

Are you going to get friend to commit?

[Ant]

Commit to what?

[Joe Santa]

40.

[Ant]

Oh, I don't know about that. I got. But go check it out. Patreon.com and while you're doing it, if you want to save yourself some money, you can go do it on a web browser. If you use the Patreon app, they're going to take extra money from you because they have to pay our tech overlords that are going to enslave our minds one day. So until then, go to a web browser. Patreon.com the Basement Yard sign up. We love you.

[Joe Santa]

Wow.

[Ant]

So really quick. I'm sorry. I know. Please just give me 10 seconds to explain what I wanted to say before.

[Joe Santa]

Sure.

[Ant]

We are in a society where people aren't gatekeeping cool things anymore. We need to be better at that.

[Joe Santa]

Gatekeeping.

[Ant]

Yes. So, like, I'm not telling people where I get my seeds. Like, everywhere I get my seeds, because then they're gonna get it, and they're gonna take it from me. So it's the same thing with, like, if people find, like, a cool, like, niche restaurant, they, like, I have to tell the world about this. No, no, keep it amongst your small group. Other people will find it naturally. But, like, we gotta. We gotta gatekeep cool things more.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. If you think your sunflower seeds are that cool, I got news for you.

[Ant]

They fucking are. Okay. Just like our patrons.

[Prisco]

I got something.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, boy.

[Prisco]

So I found this guy on TikTok that plays a note on his keyboard, and he asks you, what does it sound like more, this item or this item?

[Ant]

What are the items?

[Prisco]

Well, one example is one time it was either gushers or olive oil. And he plays a note, and you have to think, what does it sound like most to you?

[Ant]

I feel like gushers would be like.

[Prisco]

No, it's, like, musical.

[Joe Santa]

It's not the sound of gushing.

[Prisco]

It's like. Then it would just be gushers.

[Joe Santa]

Can we have an example?

[Ant]

Olive oil would be like, ooh, this.

[Joe Santa]

Looks like Sean Williams Scott.

[Ant]

Like, Sean Williams Scott and Diplo.

[Prisco]

Okay, so for example, does this sound more like windshield vipers or an etcher sketch? I didn't even know that's how you say that.

[Unidentified Guest]

Okay, do you think this looks more like windshield wipers or an Etch A Sketch?

[Joe Santa]

This is.

[Ant]

The fuck is that? First of all, that sounds like a video game. But.

[Joe Santa]

But which one does it. Is it sound or taste?

[Ant]

He said looks.

[Prisco]

He said looks. I don't get it. I just was going, all right, so.

[Ant]

Then do it again. Close your eyes. I'll close my eyes. Let's go. So do it again.

[Prisco]

Does this sound more like.

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this looks more like windshield wipers?

[Ant]

Close your eyes.

[Unidentified Guest]

Or an Etch A Sketch?

[Joe Santa]

I mean, that's. That's easy. That's an etcher sketch. Obviously. Like, it's the. It's the. So you could hear sand.

[Ant]

It's Sandy.

[Joe Santa]

It's a Sandy game.

[Prisco]

Frankie, you were listening very intently. What'd you think it sounds like?

[Ant]

I. I would say etches. It felt like shifty, like.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Yeah, I would say.

[Joe Santa]

Did you get that?

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

All right. Yeah, that one's easy. I feel like that's like, is that all this is? It's not like.

[Ant]

Well, I mean, but.

[Unidentified Guest]

All right, do you think this smells more like roasted garlic smells or chocolate dipped ice cream?

[Ant]

Oh, oh, oh, hold on. Smells more. So he's going off of smelling now. So we're going to have to close our eyes and we're going have to sniff.

[Joe Santa]

Frank, do it the first time, please.

[Ant]

No, do it, do it again. Go.

[Prisco]

You guys are going to close your eyes.

[Ant]

Close your eyes. All right, I'm closing my eyes.

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this smells more like roasted garlic or chocolate dipped ice cream?

[Joe Santa]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

I heard you coming over to try and scare me. I got him, I got him.

[Ant]

All right, seriously, do it again. Now this.

[Joe Santa]

I'm not doing it a third time. No, no, no.

[Ant]

I, I, I will actually close my eyes this time.

[Prisco]

Why don't we try something different?

[Joe Santa]

Try something different.

[Ant]

Okay.

[Joe Santa]

All right.

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this smells more like campfire smoke or copper?

[Joe Santa]

What is copper?

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this.

[Ant]

I, well, I don't even know what the copper smells like. Like a penny to.

[Joe Santa]

There you go.

[Prisco]

That was, to me, that was aggressively copper.

[Ant]

Oh, really?

[Prisco]

What?

[Joe Santa]

I got smoke on.

[Ant]

I got smoke, too. It's like, it's like, it's like airy. Yes, yes. It's like.

[Joe Santa]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ant]

It's like this, it's like that. And it's like. Play it again, play it again and watch me.

[Prisco]

It sounded like metal, but. Okay, I'll watch you watch.

[Unidentified Guest]

You think this smells more like campfire smoke or copper?

[Joe Santa]

Do you think this.

[Ant]

You. We both were.

[Joe Santa]

Smoke on that.

[Ant]

I was smoked too, but still felt.

[Prisco]

Like copper to me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Copper.

[Ant]

So funny.

[Prisco]

Sorry, just a laugh snuck up on me.

[Joe Santa]

Copper. One more, one more.

[Prisco]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Joe Santa]

Give me a taste. Give me a taste.

[Prisco]

I don't know.

[Joe Santa]

There's one right there.

[Ant]

It's got. He's got his tongue out.

[Prisco]

Oh, there is a tongue.

[Ant]

Oh, tonguey.

[Unidentified Guest]

Listen closely.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pause it.

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this tastes.

[Ant]

What the hell was that?

[Joe Santa]

Ooh, tangy.

[Unidentified Guest]

Okay, listen closely. Do you think this tastes more like Smarties or an ice blue?

[Ant]

Wait, pause it.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was he saying? I don't know.

[Ant]

Smarties suck, yo.

[Joe Santa]

I think they're super underrated.

[Ant]

Smarties. I think they are appropriately rated.

[Joe Santa]

No, I like Smarties.

[Ant]

The, like, they're just. I used to love them as a kid, and then I grew up and I stopped wanting to drive a Nissan 350Z with blue neon lights underneath.

[Joe Santa]

Allegedly. I think they're good also. Canadians. Smarties is different.

[Ant]

Yeah, it's called, like, we Usies.

[Joe Santa]

No, they call the smarties rockets.

[Ant]

They're definitely not rockets. No, they're definitely not rockets.

[Joe Santa]

All right, what do you say?

[Prisco]

I probably have to listen closely.

[Unidentified Guest]

Do you think this tastes more like Smarties or an ice blue Gatorade.

[Ant]

First? Whoa. That woke something up in me. I was like.

[Joe Santa]

I'm going Gatorade, blue Gatorade.

[Ant]

I guess so. Because Smarties to me would taste like. All right, do. Do more, do more, do more.

[Joe Santa]

Okay, one more. Almost.

[Ant]

No, do like 10 more.

[Prisco]

10 more.

[Ant]

Why not?

[Unidentified Guest]

All right, all right, all right, listen closely. Do you think this looks more like a cracked phone screen glare or fireflies flickering?

[Joe Santa]

Oh, you know, I was on fireflies in the beginning.

[Ant]

I swear to God I was on fireflies, but then I was like, it's too fast to be fireflies. Fireflies would be like.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, it's more like.

[Prisco]

It felt more like a. Across the screen glare. Like.

[Ant]

Oh, yeah, it felt like if, like. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly right. I can't say it better than that.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, no, I say, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

When was the last time you saw.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, you probably see fireflies.

[Ant]

Yeah, we get it. We used to get. We not used to. We get them like, all, like a lot. I love.

[Joe Santa]

That's a cool animal.

[Ant]

They're also cool because they let you catch them. They're slow so, like, you can catch them and hold them and then you look and they're.

[Joe Santa]

They're willing to hang out in your hand.

[Ant]

They hang out and then they fly. Fly away.

[Joe Santa]

And it's cute and they're not really gross.

[Prisco]

They fly like this kind of.

[Ant]

No, they don't. They have wings.

[Prisco]

Yeah, but it looks like.

[Joe Santa]

No, it's out of their butts.

[Ant]

They open their ass and.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, their ass opens up into wings.

[Prisco]

It's just a lightning bug.

[Ant]

Yes.

[Prisco]

Okay. Yeah, they kind of fly like that.

[Joe Santa]

No, they don't have wings where. They have wings.

[Ant]

Where do you grow up?

[Joe Santa]

They have, like, hands, but it's on their ass. Their wings are on their ass?

[Ant]

Yes, brother. They're like, they're. They're.

[Joe Santa]

And their asses.

[Ant]

They're like quadrupods. What you're referencing is like bipods, like if they're bipedal.

[Prisco]

Well, I don't have wings, so my hands aren't the bugs hands. These are the bugs wings.

[Ant]

But they don't even do they do. They're more back here. They're back here and they go like this.

[Joe Santa]

Like, this is like a firefly. See, I'm a firefly.

[Ant]

Yes. Not this.

[Joe Santa]

This is. Is nothing.

[Ant]

That seems almost kind of.

[Joe Santa]

Well, this is nothing.

[Prisco]

But aren't they. But down when they're glowing, they're like this.

[Joe Santa]

Dude, this is a firefly. You see this?

[Ant]

He's right.

[Joe Santa]

That's what a firefly is.

[Ant]

He is very right.

[Joe Santa]

And why does their ass light up like a Christmas tree?

[Ant]

I think it is like a communication mating thing, you know, like.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, like look my. Look at my sweet ass come it. That was so aggressive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, you. Are you gay? Like if you are. I wasn't talking for me.

[Ant]

I was talking for the. I was saying this in conjunction with like, you know, cuz.

[Joe Santa]

Cuz I said my firefly ass when I'm not the firefly. I'm not the firefly.

[Ant]

Careful. I just want to look if you are. I want you to know I love you and support you no matter what. Thanks.

[Prisco]

To attract mates. You got it.

[Ant]

Oh, so it is like that.

[Prisco]

So you're right.

[Joe Santa]

And it's every night in the summer. So they're horny through their.

[Ant]

Dude. So horny. And like a lot of horny. You know what I mean? Like imagine if you all at one.

[Joe Santa]

Time too, because you're like, yo, there's.

[Ant]

A hundred horny fireflies looking out at like Times Square. And like someone was doing. Everyone was doing something where people were doing something to indicate they're horny. I guess that's actually a bad thing because there are people doing Illegal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Illegal.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I think that's illegal. But.

[Ant]

But I'm saying like, bro, look at a crap. Like look at a field and you.

[Joe Santa]

Just see horny sex. Yeah. Are. Does it.

[Ant]

Do they both light up if they're doing the d. What is a female lightning. But I guess. Well, what. What do the different.

[Prisco]

Yeah, look at the mating patterns of lightning bugs.

[Ant]

Do they both what a male lightning bug is like looks like and a female lightning bug. What they look like? They both light their butts up. Do they have a lightning penis?

[Prisco]

Give me a second. You guys could.

[Joe Santa]

You would think that would light up.

[Ant]

If I were to pick anything on my body that can illuminate at will. It's my penis.

[Prisco]

They both light up. And they often use their light different for mating. Males flash as they fly to attract females who respond with their own specific flashes from a stationary position.

[Ant]

Oh, so it's like a horny light Morse code.

[Joe Santa]

It's like.

[Ant]

It's like. That's exact. It's like horny flash tag.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, it's like SoS but like come me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Ant]

Like S. DTF DTF.

[Joe Santa]

DTF instead of SoS DTF is it.

[Prisco]

Want to be like DTL down to light? No, dude, they're down to firefly.

[Ant]

Down to. Down to firefly. Yeah, it's a good point. Or. Or lightning.

[Joe Santa]

What are they? Insects?

[Ant]

Oh, my God. Dude, you think that the. The male lightning bugs are like, I'm a lightning bug, but I'm bringing the thunder?

[Joe Santa]

No, I also.

[Ant]

What do they eat? Probably leaves.

[Joe Santa]

They're herbivores. That's not the word. Herbivore.

[Ant]

They're herbivorebs, I imagine. Leaves. Like, what else could they eat?

[Joe Santa]

Ant's really earning his paycheck this episode.

[Prisco]

They eat snails, slugs, worms, other insects.

[Ant]

Snails, slugs and worms, bro. These things are half the size of all of those.

[Joe Santa]

I feel like a snail could kick.

[Ant]

The shit out of maybe, like a decomposing one.

[Prisco]

Some do, like, pollen, nectar.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, okay, that makes sense.

[Prisco]

Females eat other fireflies.

[Ant]

That's, like, very common in the bug world. They'll just be like, I'm gonna fuck you, and then I'm gonna rip your head off.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, and the women are like, I'm just gonna eat the body.

[Ant]

Well, no, I think. Isn't that what praying mantises do? Like, praying mantises?

[Joe Santa]

Those guys are crazy, dude.

[Ant]

Have you seen one, like, in the wild? I don't know why I went German.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I was like, have you seen.

[Ant]

Like, one in the wild?

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I saw one upstate once. It was in a tire, dude.

[Ant]

First of all, big bugs.

[Joe Santa]

I thought they were poisonous. My parents were like, get away from it.

[Ant]

I was like, well, they are protected from what I was told, and maybe. Maybe someone was just making shit up. But, like, we saw, like, at our old house, we were like. I was, like, mowing the lawn, and I saw a bunch of things crawling up the fence. We had, like, the white privacy, like, PVC fence. And then I was like. I stopped and I looked, and it were baby babies. Praying mantises, bro. Hundreds of them.

[Joe Santa]

Were they praying or. They're not there yet.

[Ant]

They weren't there. Well, maybe I couldn't see because they're so small. But then I saw, like, they're like. I imagine parents. People like, yo, stay away. Don't fuck with them. Like, they're protected. Like, you don't want to, like, get in trouble for, like, killing them. Which, how the fuck would anyone know? But, yeah, they're sick.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Prisco]

I mean, my uncle's friend convinced me that those red ants, the very tiny ones, suck blood. And I cried.

[Joe Santa]

Why because it was on you.

[Prisco]

They were on me a little bit.

[Ant]

I don't even think they're technically ants. I think they're like spiders. Technically.

[Prisco]

I don't know. You don't talk about those.

[Ant]

So really? Like.red1. Very.red. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, I thought you're talking about like fire ants.

[Prisco]

No, no, no, no.

[Ant]

Fire ants are like.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, they'll. You want to talk about fogging a.

[Prisco]

But are they around?

[Ant]

Not here. I think they're indigenous. Amazon. Yeah. Or maybe South America.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I think I remember watching episode of Wild Boys and there was a tribe that Steve O. And Pontius visited that like, in order to like, become a man, you had to put your hand in this glove, and the glove was filled with fire ants.

[Prisco]

Bullet ants, I think.

[Ant]

I think bullet ants would kill you.

[Prisco]

No, it just hurts really, really bad.

[Joe Santa]

Damn. I kind of want to get bit by one.

[Ant]

It's the worst bite on the planet. It like, really? Bullet ants are the worst. No, no, they. It's like an ant.

[Joe Santa]

What about a shark? That's got to hurt.

[Ant]

Yeah, duh. But they're saying, like, in terms of like, stings. Oh, they say that bullet ant. You guys never saw Coyote Peterson. Hi, I'm Coyote Peterson and this is the sting zone, the bite zone, the bug zone. I don't know.

[Joe Santa]

Coyote Peterson is a crazy name for a human.

[Ant]

He just got. He did a tier ranking, bro. Pull up the animals. Have you ever heard of a type in Coyote Peterson? I know, I'm serious. He did like a. A series of videos. He. He does it like educationally where he's like, I'm getting bit or stung by these things in order to like, tell people how to deal with it if they come across them or like that.

[Prisco]

He has a ranking, you said?

[Ant]

Yeah, and there was one that was called executioner wasp excuse. There are some that. It's like, yo, the tarantula hawk.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the fuck is that?

[Ant]

Yo, yo. Once you see this thing, you'll be.

[Prisco]

Like bullet ants number three, bro.

[Joe Santa]

That's a. That's crazy.

[Ant]

Oh, I always thought pain lasting up to 24 hours.

[Joe Santa]

I'm good.

[Ant]

Then there were some that, like a stonefish, they have some of the worst venom on the planet and this guy, like gets stung by them to like, show you what happens and then what.

[Joe Santa]

Just takes a bunch of antidotes.

[Ant]

Well, he like, shows you how, like, what happens. Like how your body reacts if you need like some form of a antivenom.

[Prisco]

So tarantula hawk is a big wasp?

[Ant]

Yes, but look at the size of it. Like, I wish they could show you it in comparison to something.

[Joe Santa]

I'm getting really uncomfortable looking at this stuff.

[Prisco]

Sorry. I got you.

[Joe Santa]

I don't like it.

[Ant]

No, no, keep showing.

[Joe Santa]

Oh yeah, I'm okay.

[Ant]

He got bit by a snapping turtle.

[Prisco]

Maybe on hand? On hand. Oh, see that makes this makes me uncomfortable.

[Ant]

Oh no, no.

[Prisco]

Dude, look how big.

[Joe Santa]

Look at that thing. Why are they all spread out like they're getting a massage?

[Ant]

Dude, Isn't that crazy?

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, those are disgusting.

[Ant]

I think that's the video where he got stung, dude. Cuz he hold, he holds him with those forceps by the abdomen. He said it's very safe.

[Prisco]

Oh yeah. Brave, brave wilderness.

[Ant]

Yeah, brave wilderness. Coyote Peterson.

[Prisco]

Why don't we get him in here? We get bit by a couple things.

[Joe Santa]

Does he like just eat it? He's like.

[Ant]

No, he's like. And he like rolls around on the ground.

[Joe Santa]

Can I see a picture of this guy?

[Ant]

Yeah, it's bald, white dude. Yeah, I mean Coyote. Coyote Peterson.

[Joe Santa]

That is such a crazy name.

[Ant]

Dude. Try to pull up a tick tock where you can.

[Joe Santa]

Kind of porny. That's Coyote.

[Ant]

That's Coyote Peterson. Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

This guy looks like a guy who stings himself. Oh, would you excuse me? Is this like, what am I doing here?

[Prisco]

The snapping turtle. They're big.

[Ant]

Dude, they'll fuck you up.

[Joe Santa]

When I was younger, I wanted a snapping turtle. Like stupid. I wanted like a big cage and like put a snapping turtle in it.

[Ant]

One of my earliest memories is at the lake house. There was a snap because that water, the lake, there's snapping turtles there. And there was one that like, I'm trying to explain to you, this will make no sense in them. But like, you know where my dock goes out?

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

And you know that like the family next to us has that little cove right next to us. And then there's a tree.

[Joe Santa]

That little island.

[Ant]

That little island. Not, not, not an island. It's like attached, I guess it's technically a peninsula, but it's a lake. But like right in front of that big rock underneath there, a snapping. A big snapping turtle. I remember like one of my earliest memories is seeing my father and our neighbor wrestling to get this thing out of there. And it was giving them hell, brother.

[Joe Santa]

Like, can you just pick it up?

[Ant]

You could if you get in the right position. But like they could be huge, bro. They could be like this big.

[Joe Santa]

So cool.

[Ant]

And they will take your fingers clean off.

[Joe Santa]

I gotta go to the Galapagos and get in the water.

[Ant]

With like a. Like a tortoise. See, that's different, my guy. That's a sea turtle. I'm talking like a.

[Joe Santa]

Like a nasty.

[Ant]

A. Like Louisiana bayou snapping turtle.

[Joe Santa]

I want to do that, too. Like fan boating, boat fanning, whatever that's called. Where you get a boat with a big fan. No, that'd be cool.

[Ant]

No way. You only do that. No way.

[Joe Santa]

Come on, let's go to Louisiana and do that. Oh, then we'll eat some, like, jambalaya crawfish and stuff.

[Ant]

Are you done? No, absolutely not.

[Joe Santa]

And how can we bribe him? Let's get a bribe going.

[Ant]

Yeah, bribe.

[Joe Santa]

Here comes. Oh, my God. He's gonna sting himself.

[Prisco]

Bribe him. It's just.

[Ant]

I mean, physics. You would need to monetarily pay me a lot of money to do that.

[Prisco]

Do you want to see him get stung by this?

[Joe Santa]

Sure.

[Ant]

Shaking. Hold on. He doesn't have an accent. No, he's a white guy. He's a person.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, that sucks.

[Ant]

Look at that. Look at that stinger.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, yeah.

[Ant]

By the way, the audio on this is off. That's not what he sounds like.

[Prisco]

Yeah, it's. It's slowed down, I guess, so they. Someone can post it.

[Ant]

Let's get him.

[Joe Santa]

Let's. Let's sting the boy.

[Ant]

A sting or bite from anything.

[Prisco]

Here it is.

[Joe Santa]

God damn Shaking.

[Ant]

Oh, yeah. Show them the goods, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like the feet. I hate the feet.

[Ant]

And I'm about to enter the sting zone.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just go already, Coyote.

[Ant]

One.

[Joe Santa]

Two, a.

[Ant]

Watch, watch, watch. Bang. Here's the thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pause it. Here's the thing.

[Joe Santa]

Dude.

[Ant]

Bro.

[Joe Santa]

First of all, you know what I thought he was gonna do? Slap this thing, dude.

[Ant]

I thought he was reaching for someone.

[Joe Santa]

Who'S gonna smash it.

[Ant]

It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like, now that I see it.

[Ant]

Because I watch it, like, with my kids, but, like, seeing it now outside of that context, like, he's just writhing in pain on the ground, rolling.

[Joe Santa]

God, that's gotta hurt like hell, bro.

[Ant]

And he's done it with, like, other, like, crazy, too. Like, the stonefish. Just pull up a picture of that bastard. It's got blue venom coming from its.

[Joe Santa]

Did you get venomized? What's that called?

[Ant]

Poisoned Venomousized. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell is that?

[Ant]

Yeah, you think it looks all fun and games. Show them those. Those are them, baby.

[Joe Santa]

Dude, what a crazy guy. Shout out to coyote.

[Prisco]

Dude. The ocean is just up.

[Ant]

I hate it.

[Prisco]

So gross.

[Ant]

Blood worms. I don't. Speaking of copper, they got copper teeth, I think.

[Prisco]

What?

[Joe Santa]

The teeth are copper?

[Ant]

You never seen A bloodworm.

[Prisco]

It can't have copper teeth.

[Ant]

No, I believe their teeth are made of copper. I'm sure.

[Prisco]

How is that?

[Joe Santa]

Okay, I don't know.

[Ant]

While you're pulling that up.

[Joe Santa]

Hold on, let me get to these. These. I have more ads here.

[Ant]

More ads here.

[Joe Santa]

We have BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to get connected to a therapist in a clean fashion, you can do so through BETTER Help. They have a bunch of licensed therapists that are going to help you through whatever you have. I am a big proponent of therapy. I think everyone should be in it and it's amazing. I've been in it for close to six years, I think, at this point. But yeah, they have over 30,000 therapists. It's the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And we can save you some money. And I know that therapy can be super expensive. I've been there. And BetterHelp is more affordable than most in person therapies. So you can sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com basemanyard that is betterhelp.com betterhelp/basementyard.

[Ant]

Sorry.

[Joe Santa]

B E T T E R h e l p.com basementyard and you will save 10% off of, you know, your, your subscription there. So enjoy that, you know, take care of your mental health, everyone. And we lastly here have hims. HIMS offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including oral chews, oral medication serums and sprays. So if you have, you know, some trouble with your hair, if it's thinning or if you have hair loss and you want to kind of mitigate that, HIMS is going to help you do that. They have doctor trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil. It can help you further, can stop further hair loss or help regrow hair and just as little as three to six months. So this could happen for you. And there's no hidden fees or surprise costs, just real personalized care on your schedule. For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss and more, visit himss.combasement that is himss.combasement for your free online visit. Feature products include compounded drug products with the fda, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. All right, all right, show me the stone. What am I seeing?

[Ant]

Bloodworm. You got one.

[Prisco]

I was more looking up if their teeth are made of copper. It just looks like a worm, but it is. It's like how we have a little bit of copper in our body at all times. They have a high concentration in their teeth.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I learned that the hard way about iron.

[Prisco]

You did? You did. You did, huh?

[Ant]

It's amazing.

[Joe Santa]

We benefited greatly from my stupidity. Well, I guess that's what the whole show is.

[Ant]

I mean, our individual stupidity has only for some reason, done well for us. And then our combined stupidity.

[Joe Santa]

Now we're talking about.

[Ant]

Now we're talking about Madison Square.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Ant]

Now we're talking, like, imagine being so dumb, so stupid, so fucking absolutely stupid, that you dumb your way to the top and you get nominated for fucking I Heart Podcast. Best comedy podcast, best ensemble podcast.

[Joe Santa]

What a time.

[Ant]

It's a really good thing to be stupid sometimes.

[Joe Santa]

Sometimes.

[Ant]

But we're also kind of. I think that's the difference between us and the rest of the world.

[Prisco]

Kind of stupid.

[Joe Santa]

Are you bullying? Is that what we're doing?

[Prisco]

No, I was clarifying, to be clear.

[Joe Santa]

He's bullying you.

[Ant]

Did your father ever see.

[Prisco]

Oh, my God, please.

[Ant]

Like, the clip of us talking about you?

[Prisco]

He did. He actually.

[Joe Santa]

He was pissed.

[Prisco]

He talked to me about it, and I said, this is what they want. Please stop.

[Ant]

Well, does he know what you recently did?

[Prisco]

This can't be.

[Ant]

What do we. So I invited Anthony and, you know, to come to my daughter's birthday party. And I said, I was there.

[Joe Santa]

I didn't see him.

[Ant]

No, no, the one that you will not be at.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, the one coming up?

[Ant]

Yes, the one that you can't make. And Ant said to me, he goes, do I need to? I said, well, no, man, I'd like for you to, you know, if you want, you know, no pressure. And he goes, how can I be less supportive of you? And I said, I mean, this is starting to border on the line of.

[Joe Santa]

You'Re being mean and disrespectful.

[Ant]

And then he pulled out a picture of you and spit at his own phone.

[Joe Santa]

What was the picture for?

[Ant]

To show that he disrespected you too.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, okay. I did ask him one time to come to my birthday, and he said, how much does it pay? I was like this. It's just my birthday. It's not part of your job.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

And he was like. He just kept going like this. He's like, what's the Brass tax with this whole, like, are you. Are you getting my Uber? What's.

[Ant]

Well, when I asked him to come, he's like, could we post a tick tock in your house? And I said, why? And he said, optics. I'm only coming if it looks good. Which optics?

[Joe Santa]

Which is.

[Ant]

Mr. Prisco, I want you to know that we are inviting your son into. Our lives are like our home, our personal life.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. Now I got to pay for that. $10,000.

[Ant]

That's what. That's all he charged you?

[Joe Santa]

Would he charge you?

[Prisco]

Joe, you're blowing up the spot right here.

[Ant]

What do you want?

[Joe Santa]

You.

[Ant]

12,000.

[Prisco]

I thought I could get a little.

[Joe Santa]

That's insane. What'd you think that he was. He wants to be your friend more.

[Prisco]

He paid it.

[Ant]

He paid it.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, God.

[Ant]

Well, we have not yet been asked by a billionaire to do a party. Just want to say that.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I mean, I would rather not.

[Ant]

Shut the up.

[Joe Santa]

What do you mean?

[Ant]

If a billionaire calls you tomorrow and says, I'm gonna pay you and your dumbass Hispanic friend $250,000 cash each if he used to show up to my party.

[Frank Alvarez]

If he's used that language, you're gonna.

[Ant]

Say, I'll do it for free.

[Joe Santa]

It's like, what the.

[Frank Alvarez]

You and your dumbass Hispanic friends.

[Joe Santa]

Hold on.

[Ant]

Serious situation. Do your Elon Musk impression.

[Joe Santa]

Wow.

[Ant]

Glad I asked.

[Joe Santa]

Doesn't Elon Musk look like if you shoved a baby into a water bottle?

[Ant]

He looks like when you watch a horror movie and you see someone's face in a jar.

[Joe Santa]

He looks like if you sneezed really hard in slow motion and someone got, like, a screenshot of it at the perfect time.

[Ant]

Do you remember the original X Men movie? Do you remember when Senator Kelly, like, becomes a mutant and melts into, like, a blob?

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. You said this.

[Ant]

That's what he looks like.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, have we done this? Have we talked about Elon Musk A bit. What do you think he looks like?

[Prisco]

Mashed potatoes.

[Ant]

That's a great example. I love mashed potatoes.

[Joe Santa]

I do too. I like when there's. When they're more creamy, though, when.

[Ant]

When they call it not mashed potatoes.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, they call it, like, whipped potatoes.

[Ant]

Whipped. Whipped garlic potatoes.

[Joe Santa]

Whipped potatoes can take me across its knee and whip me.

[Ant]

Whip you? Okay, because right in your. Right in your boy potato.

[Joe Santa]

Right. My baboon red ass until it's red as a baboon.

[Ant]

There you go.

[Joe Santa]

I also. Do you ever go to a restaurant and they bring out the. Like, CO2 can of it. No, they have like a Batman. They have like a metal can and they come. Why am I getting small? But they have like a metal can and they come over and they just go. And it's whipped potatoes. And then you taste it and you're.

[Ant]

Like, I have figured out how to make restaurant style mashed potatoes. This is serious butter. Also a potato ricer.

[Joe Santa]

That too.

[Ant]

Yeah, I have that. And let me tell you, those mashed potatoes that I've been making.

[Joe Santa]

Is that good?

[Ant]

Yeah. So as I was saying, a billionaire calls you up.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

You know, hey, Joe, it's me, a billionaire. Billionaire. It's me, the billionaire. Yeah, you and your buddy. I'll pay you guys a quarter of a million dollars each. Come to my house.

[Joe Santa]

I said, buddy, he wanted buddy's.

[Ant]

Sure, you can come too. But you don't get the money.

[Joe Santa]

We're an ensemble.

[Prisco]

Honestly, I'll come and not get the money. That's fine.

[Ant]

You're right. He charging me 12,000.

[Prisco]

No, no.

[Ant]

If they said like a billionaire is like you and your, your buddy and the, the guy that bullies you off camera.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Come to my party. I'll give you $250,000 each. Cash. You'll walk out with a briefcase.

[Joe Santa]

Walk out a briefcase.

[Ant]

You're not doing it.

[Joe Santa]

Of course.

[Ant]

Oh, and, and the party's in Manhattan.

[Joe Santa]

Why Manhattan? Okay, you can think of a different.

[Ant]

But not a single other place.

[Joe Santa]

Dude, did we ever tell you this? That in my pool growing up, had a small pool and we had this like. It was mad heavy and it was like a rocket. And you could throw it underwater to each other and we would go in the pool and sit on the bottom of the pool and throw it at each other's penises. And you weren't allowed to block it. If it hit you in the penis, it hits you in the penis.

[Ant]

This thing hurts. Was solid rubber. Like dense solid rubber.

[Joe Santa]

And it was bouncing off of my wiener as a young boy and hurting me.

[Ant]

Joey also had the. Like the flapper in his pool would come down and we would make whirlpools and caught me on the back and her like a bastard. Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Used to have a little deck that my dad built. And then we broke that down by accident jumping off the railing. Well, Keith did it.

[Ant]

Keith. We have videos of Keith. Oh, one of the Keith video movies.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, he jumped off the top deck.

[Ant]

Show that Dylan has number two. He sent me a picture of it recently.

[Joe Santa]

Have you been in my, my mom's backyard?

[Prisco]

No.

[Ant]

Well, no, you don't have you have to pony up and pay him if you want him to get him.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, yeah, that's true. God, so expensive to get in places. Pony up. But he jumped. Keith used to be a nut job. He would just jump off a. He's that kind of guy. Used to jump into bushes.

[Ant]

Bush diving. We all did it.

[Joe Santa]

Well, yeah, I was. Yeah, I did it because he was doing it.

[Ant]

We all did.

[Joe Santa]

It wasn't my idea.

[Ant]

I told the story to Miles the other day of when, like. Because it snowed, and we had snow everywhere. And, like, how they would put, like, on the corners. And in Astoria, they would do, like, the big mountains. Mountains. And I, like, was cool. And would run and try to dive through them. And the last time I did it, it was solid ice.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

And I was trying to do it to impress a girl. And he was like, did it work? And I was like, no, Miles, no, it didn't. No, it didn't. Dude.

[Joe Santa]

The only thing that I took away.

[Ant]

From that was shoulder pain.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. Yeah, shoulder pain.

[Ant]

It hurt.

[Joe Santa]

And he had amnesia, and it made him think that he's the Michael Phelps because he jumped in a pool. I drink tea. I'm a good swimmer. I'm around water all the time.

[Ant]

I'm sure that's another part of it.

[Joe Santa]

Do you think I am water?

[Prisco]

Do you think if you pee while you're swimming, you get a little bit propulsion?

[Ant]

I feel like, yeah, that's a great question. And it has to be. Yes. I feel like even if I wanted to not try it, I will.

[Joe Santa]

You ever pee in the water and your paint's just like, no, no, no, no, no. And then it finds, like, okay, you know what I mean? Just take that.

[Ant]

No, my. The times that I've peed in bodies of water, my piss is, like, cool. But apparently that's dangerous to pee in bodies of water. They say that, like, worms can swim up your cock.

[Prisco]

It's in, like, specific lakes and places you'll never go. Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Like the Amazon or something. I think in Connecticut. You'll be all right. I've ripped many a piss in that pond, brother.

[Ant]

I've probably pissed in that lake more times than I have in a toilet up there. I've peed in the lake and the woods more than I have in a toilet at my lake house, honestly. Probably. Probably.

[Joe Santa]

Me, too.

[Ant]

Nothing was cooler than having a night of drinking and then just ripping the fattest fucking piss on a tree.

[Joe Santa]

What's better than taking a piss outside?

[Ant]

You know, taking a piss outside in the woods with a beer in your hand.

[Joe Santa]

Now we're talking about fun, you know, like, and a cigar and you're hanging out of your mouth.

[Ant]

Well, now you got too much in your hands, brother.

[Joe Santa]

Well, you know, it's. You're drunk.

[Ant]

You could have smoked a cigar, by.

[Joe Santa]

The way, a long time.

[Frank Alvarez]

What are you talking about?

[Joe Santa]

Like, two years ago, a beer in this hand with a cigar like this. And you're just taking a pee, not even touching your wiener. Just going like this and letting it hit the wood.

[Ant]

Not having to care for where your stream goes is so cool. Like, we have to, like, be careful of the seat and, like, not pee on the floor, you know? Like, I'm talking, like, let this piss fucking rip. And who cares what you get?

[Joe Santa]

If I'm peeing outside, I will actively try to cover as much surface area as possible. I'm like, and I want to feed all the plants.

[Ant]

And I will try to pee as hard as I can. I am convincing myself that my piss stream is going to break through tree bark.

[Joe Santa]

I bro. Yes. Or I want to, like, I'm going to shoot my pee so hard into the dirt that it's going to kick up a bunch of dirt.

[Ant]

And if it's a little chilly outside and you see the steam rising from your piss, I love that.

[Joe Santa]

I love my steam. Yeah.

[Ant]

This steam is so cool.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, I love this.

[Ant]

So cool. It is so crazy that our body operates at 98.6 temperature, like, degrees all the time.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Ant]

So then when you piss and you see that hot piss.

[Joe Santa]

Hell yeah.

[Ant]

You're like, pretty cool science. Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

You're like, yo, I'm a demon.

[Ant]

I am a demon. I'm pissing hot.

[Joe Santa]

I'm pissing so high.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna burn. I'm gonna burn the earth with my fist.

[Joe Santa]

Scorched dirt.

[Ant]

I imagine like, devil went down to Georgia playing in my head. And I'm seeing the steam rise from my Pierce.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah.

[Prisco]

Do you know I was just enjoying here?

[Joe Santa]

Did you?

[Ant]

But you ever pee? Doesn't pee outside.

[Prisco]

I peed outside.

[Ant]

Yeah, he does.

[Prisco]

I think it'd be a cooler sensation if it was cold pee.

[Ant]

Shut the.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the hell? It's the opposite of what we're saying.

[Ant]

Stupid thing to say. Freezing cold pee coming out of your penis.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your penis would be so cold.

[Ant]

You suck. Your piss sucks.

[Prisco]

I feel like it'd be cool. Like, imagine feeling cold pee in your bladder. Like a.

[Ant]

You suck. Your piss sucks. How about that? I feel like that wouldn't feel good. That would make my penis go, no. Yep, he's Right.

[Joe Santa]

It's true.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

So you can't have it too hot, though, because then you're like, yo, what's going on?

[Ant]

Well, yeah, if you piss too hot, then. Then it's at the dock, then you gotta go talk to the doctor. Like, I'm pissing too hot. But if it's, like, warm, that's good. Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Sometimes I have a fever, and then I'll pee. I'm like, yo, my pisses hot, brother.

[Ant]

My fever pisses are great. Fever pisses are insane.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah. I'm like, yo, the water's gonna boil.

[Ant]

It feels like I'm pissing. Yeah. Like I'm pissing lava.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, dude. I'm, like, looking at the bowl. I'm like, yo, I'm see bow.

[Ant]

And it's also sharp. You know what I'm talking about? Like, sometimes it comes out.

[Joe Santa]

I'm like, what's going on?

[Ant]

I feel like that, like, maybe that there's, like, rocks in this, which I. Kidney stones?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, not those.

[Ant]

Like, safer rocks.

[Joe Santa]

Huh?

[Ant]

I've never had a kidney stone. Knock on wood.

[Joe Santa]

Oh, my God.

[Prisco]

I just drew on my pants.

[Joe Santa]

We're talking about pissing ourselves. Yeah, well, not peeing ourselves, but peeing.

[Ant]

Yeah, peeing. Like men.

[Prisco]

Being in the woods so much. You ever getting a tick?

[Ant]

No. And that's a big fear of mine.

[Joe Santa]

No, never got one.

[Prisco]

Me neither.

[Ant]

That was.

[Joe Santa]

All right. Well, I guess we can have some. Great.

[Ant]

Congratulations. That was the ant question of the day. Don't put a ant question graphic over that.

[Joe Santa]

You ever got a chick? No.

[Ant]

That scares me to death, though. I'm not even kidding. Ticks are terrifying to me.

[Joe Santa]

I wouldn't want one.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Anything that could burrow in me. I'm good.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe Santa]

Yeah, I'm good. Anyway, Frank. Where can they find you, bud?

[Ant]

Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go check out patreon. Patreon.com the basement yard. We love you, we thank you, and we'll see you next week.

[Prisco]

And Prisco on Instagram.

[Joe Santa]

And that's the ant colony. Go follow me at Joe Santa. Gotta go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at the Basement Yard. And that is all. See you guys next time.