#542 - Fully Dressed In The Steam Room

Summary

The Basement Yard #542 – Fully Dressed In The Steam Room

Date: February 16, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Ant Prisco

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Joe, Frank, and Ant dive into everything from questionable gym and steam room etiquette to hot debates about matcha, the quirks of growing up, and making absurd bets about pigs in a blanket. The crew keeps things hilarious and relatable, riffing on what actually goes down in the locker room, discussing modern food trends, hot takes on coffee, and sharing personal, often embarrassing, stories from their lives. Expect bathroom humor, cultural takes, and classic "Basement Yard" banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weird Habits in the Gym & Sauna

• Frank’s Steam Room Attire: Frank admits to wearing sweatpants and, formerly, even shoes in the steam room, leading to open ridicule from Joe and Ant.
  • “I'm being judged for my sauna clothing here. I don't want to be those guys that go in raw dick to a sauna…” – Frank [04:18]
  • Joe and Ant react in disbelief to the idea of wearing full clothes and shoes in a humid space.
• Frank’s Justification: Frank defends himself as being more hygienic than men who go in naked, especially older men “letting it all hang out” at the gym.
• European Vs. American Locker Room Culture: The trio joke about how nudity is more accepted in European saunas, but feels out of place in New Jersey gyms.
  • “If I'm in Swedish, I'll dump dong. But I'm in New York.” – Joe [04:35]
• Showering Post-Workout: Frank prefers going home without showering at the gym, despite leaving soaked in sweat, even stopping at Starbucks en route.

2. Locker Room & Gym Ancients

• Old Guys in the Locker Room: The guys reflect on old men who are very comfortable being naked and sharing banal conversations. Ant recounts witnessing an old man blow-drying his genitals, describing it like “indoor skydiving.”
• Unusual Gym Encounters: The conversation includes airing grievances about odd locker room behavior and strict adherence (or lack thereof) to unwritten gym rules.

3. Pranking and Social Embarrassment

• Failed Pranks: Joe and Frank share stories of setting up elaborate pranks or visual jokes (like pretending to jerk off in the car) that backfired when nobody noticed.
  • “At a certain point you gotta take the L on the chin.” – Frank [06:38]

4. Sauna Hygiene and Comfort

• The Shoe Debate: Ant is baffled by Frank’s choice to wear shoes in the sauna, while Frank insists his gym lacks a ‘no shoes’ sign, so he takes liberties.
• Towel Use: Frank says he sits on a towel for comfort on the hard tile.
• Defrosting in the Steam Room: Frank uses the steam room to warm up on cold days, wiggling his fingers and earning odd looks through the glass walls.
  • “You probably look psychotic...people just see you in there going like this...the grabber’s in there.” – Becca via Frank [16:52]

5. Naming and Ordering Food & Drinks

• The “Naughty Monkey” Smoothie: Joe relates the awkwardness of ordering a smoothie with a racy name in front of a crowd.
  • “Can I get the Naughty Monkey?” [23:36]
• Branding Commentary: Frank offers that fun or silly product names could help unite customers or break social barriers, but Joe remains skeptical.

6. Food Trends: Matcha and Protein Everything

• Matcha Slander: Joe claims the matcha craze is out of hand, while Frank (a self-professed matcha head) argues there's a difference between high and low quality.
  • “It tastes like the ground, but bad!” – Ant [34:54]
  • “Dirt tastes better.” – Ant [35:01]
• Coffee Snobbery: The hosts discuss coffee machines, lattes, milk types, and the struggle to dial in good espresso. Frank tries (unsuccessfully) to recruit Joe to coffee snobbery.

7. Nostalgia and Childhood Stories

• Family & Teachers: The group recalls how checks given to kids (from relatives) would go straight to parents for safekeeping, never to be seen again.
• Teacher Salaries: Joe recalls seeing teacher payroll as a kid and being shocked at the numbers.
• School Reading Logs: They reminisce about forging reading logs and faking book titles as kids.
  • “I would make up titles to books. I'm like, they're not checking this.” – Joey [61:32]

8. Absurd Challenges and Bets

• The 6-12-18-24 Challenge: The hosts hilariously debate which numbers to assign to: beers, donuts, miles, and masturbations in 24 hours.
  • “I don’t think anyone could crank their fucking hog six times in a…” – Frank [70:09]
• Pigs in a Blanket for Charity: They scheme a future Patreon milestone where each eats 40 pigs in a blanket for charity, calculating ketchup-to-hot dog ratios for optimum performance.
  • "Just to be safe, I would say 3,500. I think I can with conf—if it was just like, am I bugging? I feel like in and out—crazy." – Frank [79:18]

9. Tape, Wax, and Childhood Obsessions

• Odd Preferences: Frank and Joe compete ranking tape, wax, yarn, etc., by how fun they are to play with, and reminisce about chewing on electrical tape and playing with blue thumbtack putty as kids.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (W/ Timestamps)

• “If I'm in Swedish, I'll dump dong. But I'm in New York.” – Joe [04:35]
• “You probably look psychotic...Don’t go in there, the grabber’s in there.” – Becca via Frank [16:52]
• “It tastes like the ground, but bad.” – Ant [34:54]
• “Dirt tastes better.” – Ant [35:01]
• “I got 12 credits for Christmas, so it was free… I'm paying double for books so I can read them.” – Joe [64:49]
• “I'm getting DP'd by this book, and the information is sticking.” – Joe [65:47]
• “Tonight at 9...” – Frank (trying to read like a newscaster) [68:51]
• “I think the 24 has to be beers. I think the 18 is miles. I think the 12 is donuts.” – Frank [73:25]
• “I don’t think I ever saw that. My parents, like, here’s the bank account that we have for you. I was like, oh, shit, I’ve got to go to the bank and get a bank account.” – Joey [56:13]
• “Honestly, you got it… you hit ballyhoo.” – Joey congratulating Frank’s impromptu reading [67:19]

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Segment Timestamps

• Opening banter & gym rituals: [00:41–03:59]
• Sauna attire argument: [04:00–10:00]
• Old dudes in the locker room: [12:00–15:00]
• Sauna etiquette and public humiliation: [16:00–21:00]
• Ordering embarrassing smoothies & product names: [23:30–26:30]
• Protein/food trends & matcha debate: [27:00–40:00]
• Coffee talk and taste tests: [40:00–45:00]
• Childhood nostalgia: playing with tape, wax, thumbtack putty: [47:00–52:00]
• Teacher stories, salaries, and childhood finances: [52:10–57:01]
• Reading logs and forging them at school: [61:00–64:00]
• Reading aloud challenge: [66:41–68:51]
• 6-12-18-24 beer, donut, miles, jerk-off challenge: [69:24–74:10]
• Pigs in a Blanket charitable eating idea: [75:00–80:00]
• Wrap-up & social handles: [84:57–end]

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Takeaway

This episode is packed with wild stories, relatable gym frustrations, explicit humor, and genuine friendship between the hosts. The conversation jumps seamlessly from genuine life observations (why do old men get naked in locker rooms?) to absurd hypotheticals (how many pigs in a blanket can you eat in an hour?). It feels like hanging out with your friends—if your friends are always ready to turn anything into a joke, an argument, or a new inside bet.

Listeners get an unfiltered peek into real hangouts, complete with gross-out moments, food debates, pranks, and well-timed roasts. Through it all, The Basement Yard's blend of self-deprecation and camaraderie keeps the laughs rolling and the conversation deeply entertaining.

Transcript

[Joey]

Dripping in gold, that's cool. Dripping in Velveeta's supremely creamy golden cheesiness. That's respect. Elevate your drip with Velveeta's range of outrageously delicious dips and dishes. Shells, cheese, melty blocks and heat and eat queso that go all in on indulgence. Flex on your fam with a creamy, cheesy masterpiece. And go all in on what you love with Velveeta. Respect the drip and satisfy your cravings. Bring home the drip with Velveeta. Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard. What are you congratulating yourself for? I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I, I think about ways to open the show, and then I started doing this and thinking about how stupid this is that people used to do this.

[Joey]

Why did they do that in the 50s?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I don't understand.

[Joey]

That's a way to say thank you to a crowd.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Like, what is is that supposed to be? Like, when someone shakes your hand, they're giving you, like, a something, so you're doing it to yourself like.

[Joey]

Oh, like you're giving.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I am. I'm awarding.

[Joey]

I'm showing you a handshake that you're giving me. I don't like it either.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Oh, it's a white person thing in this, the hand job.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like the hand. I'm not going to talk about the hand drive because I love Greece. The, I guess I love the country. I do like the material, too.

[Joey]

How do you feel about the oil?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the material I'm referencing. Oh, I love it. I love those videos. Have you seen, like, the videos of, like, tick tocks of people just taking. It's like a vat of grease and you just fucking dig at it and then you just slap it on their truck.

[Joey]

Why are they slapping it on their truck?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, their chassis or something if they're like a truck driver?

[Joey]

It's not a word I'm familiar with.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, you don't know. Chassis. Chassis. It's like the thing that, like, the truck hooks up to.

[Joey]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, if it's like, you know, like.

[Joey]

One of the, like a train.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Well, not, not, not this, but it's like a.

[Joey]

Right, it's like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

This. Wow.

[Joey]

Hell, yeah. All right, cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Everything is sexual trucks. I think trucks are sexual in their, like, design. Are they not? Look at that. That's what that is.

[Joey]

All right, we're gonna get demonetized. You keep doing that. I don't know what's going on?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll go back to. We're all wearing black. Black boys. Oh, definitely. We're not even a minute in. No, no, no.

[Joey]

I'm gonna.

[Ant Prisco]

That's going in my notes.

[Joey]

That was on me.

[Ant Prisco]

It's in my notes.

[Joey]

Yeah, write that down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Write that down. Let's also make sure we identify that we are not.

[Joey]

If we are, we're wearing black.

[Frank Alvarez]

If that's not abundantly clear. Yes. And we're all aware, actually, the one time I'm not wearing a hat. You're both wearing hats.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, but it's a different hat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

What are.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's my first beanie in so long?

[Ant Prisco]

Maybe.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joey]

I just.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I told.

[Joey]

Is it. I walked here, so I was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You walked here?

[Joey]

Yeah. It's cold.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know why I said. Yeah. Like, I walked from. I don't even know, like a mile. Mile and a half.

[Joey]

I walked from that. The gym that I go to now. So that was like. So you walk probably like a mile.

[Frank Alvarez]

You walk to the gym to. Over to here.

[Joey]

Yeah. You're getting over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. We go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so you're freshly gymed.

[Joey]

I'm full gym. Yeah. So showered. Showered in public.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on, hold on. Showered in public? You showered at the gym?

[Joey]

There's a sauna. So I'm not gonna, like, just be soaking with sweat and not shower.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's what I do. That. You're supposed to go home and shower, and then what?

[Joey]

You go to the gym and sauna, and then you go home, sweat?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not even kidding. I go home soaking wet. Like.

[Joey]

Like in your car, like, your backs against your seat? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's wrong with that?

[Joey]

Oh, eventually it will soak into the seat.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I mean, car must reek. Fuck you. My car smells great.

[Joey]

What kind of material is the seat? Is it like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's leather.

[Joey]

That helps.

[Ant Prisco]

That does.

[Joey]

But it does eventually get through the.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think it's gonna seep through the leather? I don't think it's, like, surely.

[Joey]

Surely will real leather?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joey]

It's not about the leather. It's more. So there's. There's, like, holes in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a Kia, so I'm not working with, like, Italian leather over here.

[Ant Prisco]

You take your clothes off, go into the sauna.

[Joey]

Yeah. Do you take your clothes off?

[Frank Alvarez]

See, you guys don't even know you're.

[Joey]

Fully dressed in the sauna.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm being judged for My sauna clothing here. I don't want to be those guys that go in raw dick to a sauna, because that happens, and that fucking drives me insane.

[Joey]

Yeah. I think that's a little European for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

But these are just like white men from New Jersey. Not like fucking. They're not like the Polish.

[Joey]

If I'm in Swedish, I. I'll dump dong. But I'm in. I'm in. I'm in New York.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're not. Yeah, yeah. You're. You're. If you. I understand people.

[Joey]

I just say if I'm in Swedish.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did, but we're gonna. We're gonna move past it. If you're in, like, Romania, that feels like something that you could do.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dick's out for Romania, dick's out for Finland. Finland dicks out. Absolutely.

[Joey]

Certainly dicks for fin.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was that? Why are you throwing it up? Why you.

[Ant Prisco]

I was agreeing.

[Joey]

You ever been to Finland?

[Frank Alvarez]

You ever finished?

[Joey]

That's not bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's pretty funny. That's a good one.

[Ant Prisco]

I think you're gonna get me with something, but, no, I've never been to Finland.

[Frank Alvarez]

Finland, Finland. These balls in your mouth.

[Joey]

Fiddling my balls until. Until I come.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not even kidding. We'll get back to that. I have been trying to get someone the way that you've gotten us so bad, but, like, it's the classic example of, like, I. I was talking to my brother the other day or, like, someone in a group chat, and they were like, yeah, we were talking about juicing. I was like, yeah, normally I make a juice with, like, some lemon, some celery, some slobenes, and they just completely moved past it. Like, didn't even be like, what's that?

[Joey]

So were you left just, like, waiting?

[Frank Alvarez]

Basically, yeah. Like, I was just sitting there waiting.

[Joey]

Yeah. You ever do this thing? I did this the other day. You know, like, when you're just being a fucking moron and you're like, I'm gonna play a stupid prank. You know? I mean, I know you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know me. I love prank.

[Joey]

Have you ever.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's a problem I have.

[Joey]

Here's an example of what I did, and I'm certain you've done this, but, like, you hear Becca coming, and you're like, I'm gonna scare her.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joey]

But she doesn't come into the room. Oh, so now you're. You're just there and you're committing. And the other day, I, like, Nicole left the room, and I got next to the bed in a way that.

[Frank Alvarez]

If she walked into the room, like.

[Joey]

If I'm low enough, like, you can't see me. And I was basically face down, ass up, dude. Three real minutes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know.

[Joey]

I'm like, at a certain point.

[Frank Alvarez]

At a certain point, you gotta.

[Joey]

I gotta.

[Frank Alvarez]

You gotta take the loss. You have to take the L on the chin.

[Joey]

And I. And I just started laughing because I realized I'm tooting it up there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, yes, there are so many instances where, like, Becca will, like, turn around or, like, she'll be like, there or like, not looking or whatever. Whatever the situation, and I'll do something to elicit or funny response, but she won't look. So, like, then I'm just there doing it. You know what I mean? Like, it's. Then I'm just there doing it. The example that I could think of. The example I could think of. Do you remember a clip like, I recently saw it on TikTok that came up in my algorithm was like, we were at the old studio and you pull. I pulled it. I was parked and you pulled in after me and I was pantomiming. Jerking off in my front seat in the parking lot.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm just like. At the time, it's like. It's a funny joke. Hahahi. He's. But, like, the chance that you're not seeing it. That I need to live the rest of my life.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That someone else that didn't know me did see that.

[Joey]

And how long can you actually just be like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly. Come on and like, look at me. Yes. But that happens to me all the time. Yeah. All the fucking time. Back to what you were asking, though, about my. My sauna etiquette. Mm. I take my shoes off. I have a little.

[Joey]

Thank God. I was gonna ask that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to. Not.

[Joey]

You would go in there with outside shoe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay. Those must reek, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, those are stinking.

[Joey]

But also, Frank, you're going into a sauna with shoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, I'll. I'll take that one.

[Joey]

But also publicly, health hazard.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, my. For some reason, mine doesn't have signs that say, say no shoes.

[Joey]

It's a coffee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your life is run by the sign. I mean, I'm going based on. Because I. It's a little bit of wishful thinking.

[Joey]

There's no. No, no. There's no police.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can just do whatever. Well, I mean, different places have different rules.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'm like, all right, like, if I saw a sign that said don't wear shoes, then I would never have worn shoes.

[Joey]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I Was not barefooting it. That's how you get a staff and festival action. Bananas. So I got slot, like, only indoor slides that I only wear there. And I just take my shirt off and I go in and I sit on a towel.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

The hard. The hard tile could hurt my bottom.

[Joey]

Your bottom?

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't.

[Ant Prisco]

Did you. Kyle, did you say you took off your pants?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, those stay on.

[Joey]

Wait, you wear pants?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joey]

Pants. In the sauna?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. In the steam room. I. So my.

[Joey]

My in the steam room with sweatpants on?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Dude, this is, like, insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Joey]

Why?

[Ant Prisco]

And there was a point where there was also shoes on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So you're in shoes and sweatpants in the steam room. People must have thought you were lost. Like, when he got out, he. Now he's in here now. Aren't you, like, in a steam room? I feel like there's a lot of water in the air. Is your sweatpants just not filled with water like a sponge?

[Frank Alvarez]

I will take a picture next time I leave the gym. You will see, I'm not kidding. I am drenched when I leave. Like, I get home and my kids say, why are you wet? Like, not again.

[Joey]

Literally.

[Frank Alvarez]

Maeve goes, daddy, why are you wet? I'm just like, oh, I went to the gym. It's a known thing now.

[Joey]

And, like, your ankles and your, like, shins are wet head to toe.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm dripping, dude.

[Ant Prisco]

And then you get in the car and drive home.

[Joey]

What is the drive? What is the time?

[Ant Prisco]

It's like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it depends. That's not true. When I leave, every time I go to the gym in the morning, I leave, I stop at Starbucks, I get Becca a drink, and then I get home. So that's like seven minutes. Oh, so I'm going into a Starbucks soaking wet.

[Joey]

It's not a drive through.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. I get out, Frank, we gotta work on it. This is insane now, because you look.

[Joey]

Like a crazy person in the steam room with sweatpants and shoes on, and then you're walking into a Starbucks in public soaking wet. I.

[Frank Alvarez]

I refuse to think that I've done anything wrong here. I don't. I don't see. I think, if anything, I'm being more hygienic than the people that are going in there. Bare fucking balls and ass. If they.

[Joey]

I mean, what would you take?

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you rather sit next to someone that's in sweatpants and slides or sit next to someone that's basically staring at you with their balls?

[Joey]

I. If someone's completely naked, that's a little uncomfortable.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will Say.

[Joey]

But I do think 10 times out of 10, if someone gets into the sauna and they're wearing sweatpants and sneakers, I'm taking a photo of them going.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right into my group chat. Why?

[Joey]

Being like, look at this nut job in here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, when we used to go to the gym together, like the times we've been to the gym together, we would both wear sweatpants and shoes. Or shorts. Yeah, shorts. I mean, sometimes it's short.

[Joey]

Maybe then in that gym I wore shoes. The gym that I go to now is like pretty new. So I have. But I have like slippers.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I'm. I mean. Yeah. Well, I don't feel like chalk this up to being an adult. I feel like, you know, I have.

[Joey]

Like a little slip and I mean the slip off.

[Frank Alvarez]

So the steam room is tile.

[Joey]

I did raw dog at the first time I went in there. I'm like, that's crazy. But it's a brand new gym.

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't matter because you're sitting on. Guess what you're sitting on. Balls.

[Joey]

You're sitting.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're basically bouncing on something. No one's naked in there, brother.

[Joey]

I mean, not that I've seen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe not the one that you go to the gym that I go to.

[Joey]

Did you say there's a lot of old bags?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it's. It's predominantly like people that have retired and live in the area.

[Joey]

Old bastards.

[Frank Alvarez]

Old fucking bastards.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And like that. Love to just talk about nonsense.

[Joey]

They talk in there and they wear.

[Frank Alvarez]

They wear the fucking like sauna hats.

[Ant Prisco]

The.

[Frank Alvarez]

The. What do they look like? They're like wool triangle hats.

[Joey]

Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I swear to God. And they fucking sit there, dick and balls in the wind, dude. And the other thing is they shower in the gym. Which you do. Which we'll get back to.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they shower in the gym fully naked with the curtain open.

[Joey]

Curtain open. Now you're asking for it. They don't get a lot of people to look at that stuff anymore.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? That might be the reason. Because why.

[Joey]

Why haven't asked if you're not going to display it.

[Frank Alvarez]

But why is it that old men at gyms need to let you know they're naked?

[Joey]

I think it's like an animal thing. It's like when dogs pee and other dogs pee. Like old dudes get to the gym, they're like, I'm gonna put my ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

And like, I. Maybe, maybe I'm just. Because, you know, for high school sports and stuff, we didn't have, like, we had a locker room but like you didn't like shower with your boys like on your team. So like, maybe that's just a part of life that I am the like, exception to the rule here. Maybe I'm just weird and I don't, I'm not crazy about that.

[Joey]

Did you shower in high school?

[Ant Prisco]

No. But when we went to like a sauna thing, we all showered.

[Joey]

What does that mean?

[Ant Prisco]

It was like a, a place that has a gym wreck and sauna, all that stuff.

[Joey]

But like I'm saying like high school sports. Did you not shower at school?

[Ant Prisco]

No. No.

[Frank Alvarez]

It wasn't like, you know, like the showers didn't work. A giant room.

[Ant Prisco]

There was, but there was a giant.

[Joey]

Room, like a prison.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you do it?

[Joey]

I think I did, but no one was naked. Actually there are a couple of kids that were naked because they're like big dicks. Well, it's like a big dicks. It's like a joke. Like there's a couple guys on a team that are like jokers. So it's like I'm naked and that's the joke. Gotcha. I remember we all don't laugh, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

When I was in the gym, this old guy was blow drying his balls and then he clipped his. While he was like blow drying, he clipped his like ween. And it looked like it was floating, like indoor skydiving for a second. And it made me laugh.

[Frank Alvarez]

How powerful was this blow dryer or fucking light as a feather was this guy's cock?

[Ant Prisco]

I don't know. It's old.

[Joey]

Better question, how long were you looking?

[Ant Prisco]

Well, I heard the blow dryer, so I put the first part together.

[Joey]

And you saw a floating wiener.

[Ant Prisco]

And by the time I looked, it was floating.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I'm still trying to get over the fact that you guys think that I'm weird for wearing pants in a steam room and sauna.

[Joey]

I mean, you know, that's unorthodox.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I stopped the shoes, the shoes though, because I made the decision.

[Joey]

What does that count for?

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely nothing.

[Joey]

But don't you think you'd be more comfortable if you just brought a bag with a change of clothes and you took a shower?

[Frank Alvarez]

I do bring a bag.

[Joey]

What's in the bag then?

[Frank Alvarez]

Just the slipper. And like my duffel bag. Yeah, it's a green duffel bag and the only thing that's in it is my, my slippers, my slides, whatever you.

[Joey]

Want to call them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. My lock, my little padlock.

[Joey]

Uh huh.

[Frank Alvarez]

And my headphones.

[Joey]

Right.

[Ant Prisco]

Why not a change of pants? So you at least don't have to be soaking wet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then I'm dirtying two changes of pants instead of one.

[Joey]

That's not how you say the units of pants. Two changes is also three pairs of pan.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a really good point.

[Joey]

Two changes of pants.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just, I don't think, like, that logic is ridiculous. Like, so when I, like when I.

[Joey]

Do laundry, nothing over here is ridiculous?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't think so.

[Joey]

Sweatpants in the steam room. First of all, sauna. Okay. Steam room is legitimately psychotic.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say that I do leave there, like, not like a little wet. Dude.

[Joey]

I mean, you must be pouring. And I know you, you sit in there, so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So how long in there? You're in 20 minutes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do ten and ten.

[Joey]

Ten and ten.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ten and ten. Steam room's been hot lately, so I had to jump out at six.

[Joey]

He's in there. That's about all I can take.

[Ant Prisco]

It's about all my pants can take.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

He walks out of there and he's dragging his pants with.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also, Becca. Becca pointed to this. I had no idea. So it's. I go in the mornings and it's been really, really, really cold. So when I get to the gym, like, I get changed and I get, you know, I put myself in the locker and then I go in the steam room just for like 30 seconds to just warm up. But she's like.

[Joey]

You'Re using it as.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a defroster for your bucket.

[Joey]

Defrosting in the sauna.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I'm like in there and I'm. I'm going like this.

[Joey]

Oh, get your fingers ready.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. She's like, you probably look psychotic.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm like, why? She's like, because it's a big glass room and people just see you in there going like this. Like, don't go in there. The grabber's in there. The grabbers in there.

[Joey]

Most people do a warm up set. I'm just gonna do five minutes in the sauna and stretch my hands.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, I think, dude, also.

[Joey]

I didn't think about that. It's literally been like 2 degrees out and you're soaking wet walking to your car. It's a miracle. You're not.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest with you about something. I kind of like that. Like, I. When I leave the gym, I don't put my jacket on and I walk to my car because I like seeing the steam rise off me. Okay.

[Ant Prisco]

You have a shirt on.

[Joey]

Yeah, of course it still rises.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joey]

He's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's not Forget just making sure.

[Joey]

Sopping wet. My shirt is saturated.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sopping wet. And I just two minutes earlier, got out of 190 degree sauna. Of course, if I'm going in 5 degree weather, I'm gonna be steaming like I'm straight out of hell. I'm picturing, like, the people who work.

[Joey]

The front desk when he's leaving.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have a good day. I, you know, I will say, do.

[Joey]

You have a towel?

[Frank Alvarez]

I sit on a towel.

[Ant Prisco]

But do you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you.

[Joey]

I mean, you, you do you, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dry your hair and I put my shirt on and put my hat on.

[Joey]

That would be the reason to do that. Yeah, you're right. That's. I mean, stupid of me to even.

[Ant Prisco]

Ask if you have the pants on. Why sit on the towel?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's for comfort. The tile and the wood could be a little hard on my bottom. As I.

[Joey]

As I explained before, it's got a sensitive bottom.

[Ant Prisco]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like you pointing that out. Yeah, I can point it out. All right. So you're saying.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That I should go in.

[Joey]

Well, let me tell you what I do, right? I pack a bag. Like today I packed a bag. I had to put my laptop in it. Don't love that. But then I get to the gym and you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

You go to nice gym.

[Joey]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tell the people what Jim, you go to.

[Joey]

No, tell them right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tell them right now. No. Is it. Does it have, like, you have to bring your own lock or does it have, like, locks?

[Joey]

They're digital.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's so nice.

[Joey]

Yeah, that's really nice.

[Ant Prisco]

Probably narrowing it down a little.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

You know, care.

[Joey]

It's not a big deal, but he.

[Frank Alvarez]

Goes to a gym in the Bronx.

[Joey]

No, I actually met someone there who, who recognized me, but I didn't know if they'd recognize me. I. They were just like, oh, hey, I'm like, surprised I'm seeing you here or something like that. And I was like, yeah. I was like, do I know you? Because it was. I almost, like, felt bad because I'm like, I don't know who this is. I thought it was someone that I knew. And they were like, no. I was like, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, I thought I fucked that up. I love the honesty there.

[Joey]

No, no, no, no, no. I was like, oh, all right. But this is my first gym that I've gone to where people, like, film and do, like, workout.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Joey]

I. I hadn't seen that. I mean, I've been working on my building for the last couple of years, so.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you go. You Put your stuff in the. In the locker.

[Joey]

Put my stuff in the locker. I'll. I'll usually wear, like, the shorts that I wear have, like, a lining in them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, for, like, running.

[Joey]

Yeah. But I'll use them for the gym, too. And I'll wear sweatpants. So I just take my sweatpants off today. I. I use, like, a different pair of shoes, but, like, most of the time I'll just walk in, like, whatever shoes I wear at the gym, but put those in there, do my workout, come back. Then I throw everything into my locker.

[Frank Alvarez]

Same.

[Joey]

And I take out the slippers, put those on, just have my shorts and my.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just.

[Joey]

Just my shorts on and the slippers. And then I go sit in the sauna.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait a sec.

[Joey]

Hold on.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'm being ridiculed.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

We do basically the exact same thing.

[Joey]

Sweatpants is like. And you. Socks and. And shoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I do it with shorts, too.

[Joey]

So when I do different.

[Frank Alvarez]

So when I do it like this morning, it was shorts.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, when I do it with sweatpants, it's out of control. Yeah, I don't think so.

[Joey]

If anything, also, I wouldn't dream of going in the state room like that. Why not?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's.

[Joey]

If anything, I'm wearing also nylon shorts. Like a bathing. That's like a bathing suit material almost.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. I mean, my, My. My shorts are like workout shorts or like basketball shorts, which are a little bit.

[Joey]

I don't think that's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, if anything, I'm being more efficient in what I'm getting out of both experiences, because I am. I have clothes on that are trapping the heat. It's like the people that go into fucking steam room and saunas and like, like the Rocky training montage sweatsuit.

[Joey]

Yeah. The efficacy is not the problem. I think the problem is leaving the place and being so good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, who cares? I like, if anything. Well, what do you. You care? Why do you care, if anything? People see me, they're like, damn, that guy, he had a good workout. Because look at how fucking soaking wet.

[Joey]

I'm sure they are thinking that. Because I do think that about people. However, if they left that way, I'd be like, what's going on?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going home. I'm getting undressed.

[Joey]

What's wrong with the shower, though? Like, you just think it's dirty or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't understand when I have a perfectly nice shower at home just.

[Joey]

To avoid the, like, wearing the sweat.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a car. I'm not like, driving a Maserati.

[Joey]

Just uncomfortable being. Pouring sweat.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought I. I personally, it's kind of nice you like being. Because I don't sweat otherwise. Like, I understand.

[Joey]

Like, you, you are steam room you. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're getting. You like. I do not sweat, period.

[Joey]

Ever.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, the only time I experience sweating is when I go and I get it in the steam room.

[Joey]

So you want to keep it for as long.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want to hold on to the feeling.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and again, people look at it be like, damn, that's it. Now what do you do after, though? You proteining it up? What are you doing?

[Joey]

Where? When?

[Frank Alvarez]

After the gym.

[Joey]

Like, when I get home.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what?

[Joey]

I actually just. That's funny you bring that up. There's a. Now we're really narrowing it down. But like there, there's a. What's it called? Like a smoothie place. Like, not a place, but like, they have a smoothie bar. And I was like, let me check this thing out. So I go and I see a smoothie. It's got peanut butter, banana, you know, some protein and whatever. Some other. And I'm like, oh, it sounds good. The name of it is Naughty Monkey. Why are you doing this to me?

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, can I please get the Frank. Naughty Monkey.

[Joey]

Legitimately, how I did it. And I was like, can I get the naughty Monkey? And she's like, yeah. And she's like, what flavor? Protein? I was like, just vanilla, whatever. And she's like, okay, cool. So I just sit down. There's like, no one there. Then all of a sudden, these like four girls come in and they know the girl behind the counter, so they're just congregating. And then Naughty monkey. And here comes the naughty monkey. And I'm like, thanks, and I can.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get the fuck out of there.

[Joey]

I'm like, this is what I'm trying to avoid.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what, though? See, I kind of love that because I feel like that brings us together closer as a nation.

[Joey]

Because the naughty monkey we are so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Much of, like branding now is like. Like, let me get the fucking. Like men's soap is like thick and, you know, like fucking barrel roasted. Like, stuff like that. The naughty monkey.

[Joey]

I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

That makes people feel more like, connected.

[Joey]

If anything, that makes me feel embarrassed. And to be fair, I would be equally as embarrassed to order like bullet blood or something. I'd be like, I don't need that either.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think what we need to do is we need to find the racist.

[Joey]

It.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? Follow me. Follow me here.

[Joey]

We're following.

[Frank Alvarez]

We need to find the most like, racist per capita area in our country. Yeah. And open a shop like that.

[Joey]

Which one?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like the. Where. The Bullet Smoothie. Where it's smoothie? No, no. Where it's all smoothies. But the names are. Stuff like that. Because I feel like that immediately kind of lets your guard down a little bit. It softens you up. If you're going in and it's like Jimmy John's, give me the fucking double fucking stack sandwich of big muscles. People are going to be like, this is appropriating hyper masculine toxic masculinity. But if you're in West Bumble fucking, fucking doodle town.

[Ant Prisco]

And what would it be called?

[Frank Alvarez]

It could just be called.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm saying, what would. Like, what are they ordering? What's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't matter. It could be any. It could be smoothies, it could be sandwiches. But give them a fun cute name. So people are just like, you know what? Maybe the way that I'm going about living my life and seeing the world is a little too intense.

[Joey]

Do you believe that the people who are turning off the halftime show to go watch Kid Rock perform at the same time are going to be interested in buying your cute named smoothies? Because I don't believe they will be.

[Ant Prisco]

And what the name of the smoothie is.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joey]

Well, I'm just saying in the, in the example of naughty monkey, if you will. I think that would be a deterrent.

[Frank Alvarez]

So then. You know what? You're right. You are correct. I should have thought of this sooner. Open it up with hyper masculine names for their smoothies. You know, lib to your lib tier. Banana, Chunk. Right. And then get them addicted to it.

[Joey]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Or like, get them like really into it. Like the, the, the, the, the people turning off the halftime show. And then 180, then you name it something. Because then they're just like, well, I need my shake. Let me get the chunky naughty monkey.

[Joey]

All you have to do is get him addicted to it. We'll slip nicotine pills into the smoothies.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying physically, like chemically addicted. I'm saying mentally.

[Joey]

Okay, you know what? I'll get back to you on that. I have no idea how we're gonna go about that at all.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I mean, you could do it. Because now, now everything is protein, Proteins and everything now. So, like, you could do it. Yeah, you know, protein. Dunkin Donuts. What? Bro, do you even see Dunkin Donuts? Protein drinks. Dunkin Donuts, Dunkin Donuts. What about it, bro. When's the last time you went or passed by a Dunkin Donuts?

[Joey]

I mean, I've passed by them. I haven't gotten in a Dunkin Donuts in a while. But they got great hot chocolate.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they?

[Joey]

Yeah, I don't think I have chocolate, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hot, bro.

[Joey]

They got the hottest hot chocolate ever. They deliver. It's so hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Listen, if you. There's many things you could say about Dunkin Donuts, you're not gonna criticize their hot chocolate branding. So hot. I don't remember the last time I got a hot chocolate for Dunkin Donuts.

[Joey]

I always tell people that where I'm like, they actually have a very good hot chocolate. And it's like surprising because it's Dunkin Donuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, it's good.

[Joey]

I like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, but if you go or pass by or something next time, keep an eye out. Big poster. Protein Matcha drinks protein. Coffee is.

[Joey]

What are we doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's getting out of control.

[Joey]

Can I can also. You know what? I'm going to save this for after. Let's get to the sponsors. I do have a thing that I want to say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go get to them.

[Joey]

But this is where we're starting here, folks. We have Squarespace. All right, Squarespace is back. And if I could find a thing then that would be great. That ain't it. Here we go, folks. So. So Squarespace. So you guys know Squarespace. You know you're going to build your website on this platform, okay? So if you have a bunch of content or e commerce business, retail business, you are going to need a professional looking website because that is your first impression with new customers and returning customers. If they go to your website and it doesn't look great, probably going to turn away. You want it to look professional or if you're promoting yourself or something like that, you do want it to look professional. And Squarespace is going to help you do that because they have these templates that you can use and it populates a website very easily. You just switch out the text and the photos. It's very easy and they have made that whole process very streamlined and that's what you want. They also have a ton of tools. They're going to help you optimize your traffic and let you know where it's all coming from and to keep track of all that. And Squarespace is the number one. It's what we use for all of our landing pages. Anytime we make them, we're making them with Squarespace. Okay? They're the best. So go to squarespace.com basement. The offer code is basement. And you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, that is squarespace.com basement. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement. You will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. We also have SeatGeek. Okay. SeatGeek is a ticketing app, so you're gonna buy your tickets there if you want to go to a concert or something. I know Harry styles is doing 30 nights at MSG insane. So if you want to pop out to that, SeatGeek's got you covered. There's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals. They got it all. So I've been using them for years. Also. They have over 35 million downloads and their number one rated ticketing, the number one rated ticketing app in the app Store. So incredible. They also let you know if you're paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket. It's color coded, so it's transparent. Been working with them for years and they're great. So, you know, take someone you love out to a nice concert or something. Go have a good time. And when you do, save 10 off your tickets when you use the promo code BASEMENT2026. Okay? So go download SeatGeek and use that code BASEMENT2026 to save 10% off of your tickets. Enjoy.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you know what? You know what else you can enjoy? You know what else you can unwrap? You could take the little wrapper and you could pull it out and it's beautiful. It's Patreon. What do you think about that? I feel good for you. And give them that famous back rub that you always give people that you got in trouble at your last job for giving.

[Joey]

Don't do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Patreon.com the Basement Yard is the best way to support us. And we love and appreciate all the people that have not only signed up to support us this month, but have been supporting us for so long. And if you want to come and join the party, come on and join the party. It's a fun party. It's a good party. All the cool kids are doing it. So jump on in. Patreon.com the Basementyard. They're so tiers on there. If you sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. Then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. That's right. You get them. Monday, Friday, New Basement Yard oh, that's nice. You like that, right?

[Joey]

Good Lord.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go check it out. We want to thank you guys for helping us get so, so, so, so very close to 40,000 patrons and potentially over. And then, you know, who knows? Moon land amongst the stars, you know what I'm saying? So go check it out on a web browser, too, if you want to save yourself some money by signing [e-mail] the basement yard. If you use a smart app, our tech overlord, lizard people are going to take extra money from you. So save yourself some bucks while you're doing it. Patreon.com the basement yard we love you, we thank you. We kiss you, we spank you.

[Joey]

I don't know if we could say that legally.

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't you get in trouble your last job? For spanking too?

[Ant Prisco]

He told me not to.

[Joey]

Okay, what was your last job?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, wait, that's a good question. Have you ever worked a job?

[Ant Prisco]

Pizza delivery.

[Joey]

That was your last job before this? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow.

[Ant Prisco]

I went on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Me too.

[Joey]

Look at that. Look at us trying to be me, dude. Bu.

[Ant Prisco]

I try to go on some interviews in finance. And I went, God, this is awful.

[Joey]

Oh, really?

[Ant Prisco]

Then I started YouTube.

[Joey]

Did you get any cool questions, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

What'S your best quality?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, no, I really didn't. So it was so entry level. It was right out of college that it wasn't anything crazy.

[Joey]

Did you. Did you get the job?

[Ant Prisco]

I didn't go back for the next interview. I just didn't want to do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

They invited you back, but you said, no, thanks.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you get any of those, like, questions that are, like. They're meant to be, like, critical thinking questions?

[Ant Prisco]

No, it really wasn't like that. It was just personality higher. You know.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were the personality.

[Joey]

You probably would be the personality higher.

[Frank Alvarez]

Interesting. I got one of those. I'm sorry, you wanted to say something about protein. You were about to go on a rant. Melt it brewing.

[Joey]

I just wanted to say that, like, I think we need to cut it with Matcha. Like, I think we know.

[Frank Alvarez]

God, fuck.

[Joey]

I think we need to cut it out.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is way worse than I could.

[Joey]

Have expected, and I'm okay with it existing. I. But I think we need to dial it back.

[Frank Alvarez]

I.

[Joey]

It just feels like it's gotten out of hand.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's gotten out of hand because you go to some, you know, underground basement speakeasy, BDSM coffee shop in Brooklyn, where they're just like, we can whip you with this whip and we can Give you a coffee. It's brewed out of the. Of some, you know, Guatemalan person. Like, it is getting. It's been bastardized.

[Joey]

You're proving my point.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're right.

[Joey]

But that's what I'm saying is that it's like. It's like. It's a little too much for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, has there been anything that we can think of that, like, became a huge trend and then died?

[Joey]

I'm sure we could. One thing I just want to fit in about the matcha.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nope. Tastes like. No.

[Joey]

Tastes like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I. All right, I'm bringing in matcha next time we record, and I'm making you a stupid cup of it.

[Joey]

Great.

[Ant Prisco]

Ask me my opinion.

[Joey]

No, you don't. There's no way in fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can almost imagine.

[Joey]

What do you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you like it?

[Ant Prisco]

No, it's awful.

[Joey]

Thank you, God.

[Ant Prisco]

Fuck.

[Joey]

Have you had it?

[Ant Prisco]

I have.

[Joey]

What does it taste like?

[Ant Prisco]

The ground, but bad?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Joey]

No, I've had ground stuff that tastes good ground, but this is bad ground.

[Frank Alvarez]

You guys have not had good matcha.

[Ant Prisco]

Dirt tastes better.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to cry. I think grow up and piss on you at the exact same.

[Joey]

You love matcha like that. When's the last time you had matcha?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yesterday.

[Joey]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

I have it often and plentiful. It's so, like, listen, I will. I will do this. I will. I will. I will give this up. The popularity of, like, Matcha is not what, like, real matcha is. That's like someone saying, like, I'm wearing a fucking, you know, sweatpants in a steam. Fucking. Don't do that. No, but that's like someone saying, like, you know, oh, I'm wearing a watch from fucking McDonald's. All watches need to chill.

[Joey]

Like, no, because I know that you get into this thing, and I hear.

[Frank Alvarez]

It a lot, too.

[Joey]

It's ceremonial grade. And I'm like, what does that mean? 1.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's just the level of quality.

[Joey]

But does that mean it's. It's appropriate for ceremonies?

[Frank Alvarez]

So the Japanese and the Chinese, I say, like, I'm gonna offend them.

[Joey]

I'm just like, a hard J and a hard. Japanese and that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Chinese, like, take it.

[Joey]

You know, they. I'm just gonna hold this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just smart to have that. Just call and say, stand by saying.

[Joey]

A hard J and a hard C.

[Frank Alvarez]

The. The Japanese and the Chinese have tea ceremonies, right? That's like, a whole thing that they do. I think the ceremonial grade just has to do with the quality of it, because below that, you get, like, restaurant grade, which is what is used in baking and cooking and. And desserts and stuff like that.

[Joey]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it. It is a significant quality. Like, as someone that has had a lot of matcha, it's a significant quality. Jump once you get. And then you're just like, oh, like this is. Have you ever had something that, like people talk about and then you have like a good version of it and you're just like, oh, that's not that. That's like, if you're having Franzia wine and you're just like, all wine is this. No, you don't.

[Joey]

Never had Franzia.

[Frank Alvarez]

Consider yourself lucky. It's a hangover in a bag. Well, in a box. Yeah. Who thought of that?

[Joey]

It's crazy. Put it in a box, dude. Good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Matcha has such a variety of flavors because you're getting.

[Joey]

What is it, by the way?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's stone ground Japanese tea. Green tea.

[Joey]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

So what they. The Japanese. Sorry, I'm worked up. Now you got me worked up. The Japanese again, I went with a hard.

[Joey]

Yeah, I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

They make. They process their green tea different than the Chinese process theirs. The Chinese roast their green tea to keep it green. The Japanese will steam it or they'll in sweatpants. And then what they do is they take that tea. Yeah. And they put it in a big stone mill and they grind it into a very fine powder.

[Joey]

Yeah. I see people where they got the thing and they're like, yes. I actually like watching people make it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love watching people make stuff like that also.

[Joey]

Oh, you don't like when you get. If you get matcha at like a place, does that like automatically come with milk?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I mean, you could get it with milk if you want, like a matcha latte. But like, normal matcha is just water and matcha powder. Right.

[Joey]

And it's like a size of an espresso.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm assuming no more. It could be more. So, like, I have it in bowls that are like this big.

[Joey]

That's a lot of matcha.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it's not like you use like a small scoop of it because you think about it like, the amount. Like, look at like, let's use this tea as an example. That looks like a lot, but when you. When you grind it into a powder, it's nothing. So you use a little bit of. Of green tea, like matcha powder, because you're drinking the whole leaf. You're consuming the whole thing, not just an extraction. Sorry, my voice is game.

[Joey]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

But dude, I. I hear what you're saying. And if you've had bad experiences, fine.

[Joey]

Just think we gotta chill.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think that's a long lesson for something that tastes like that.

[Joey]

It's a long lesson for something that tastes like shit.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't say that.

[Joey]

That's what you said. I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to strangle both of you.

[Joey]

Right now because I don't like matcha, and I think it's gotten out of hand.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm being hyperbolic for the sake of our show. Nonetheless, if you don't like it, whatever. If anything, it does me better.

[Joey]

Do you like matcha lattes?

[Frank Alvarez]

I prefer not to have them that way. It's like any.

[Joey]

Really bastardizing.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is. You're, you're. It's. It's like, personally, if you like it, good for you. Fine, I'll make it for you if you want. I prefer, like to drink it the way that it's supposed to be drank, which is by itself.

[Joey]

The way that, the way that Japanese, Chinese. The Chinese have laid out for us.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, Japanese.

[Joey]

What's your coffee order? Are you a black guy? It's crazy. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Milk, skim milk and 1 sugar.

[Joey]

Skim. By the way, when I was younger, I thought skim milk was breast milk.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I, I like skin milk.

[Joey]

I think that's why I thought that I, I. When someone's like, oh, I'm drinking skim milk, I was like, is that your mom's? Like, I literally thought it was like a tit milk.

[Frank Alvarez]

It, it looks like just water and milk. Like, it.

[Joey]

I don't even know what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I'm sure there's a difference. But is it like. It's like whole milk, 2%, 1% skim?

[Ant Prisco]

Maybe I'm thinking 1%.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then I also could be wrong. How do you not know?

[Joey]

You don't order coffee ever.

[Ant Prisco]

I do, but it's just. I think it's 1%. I get 1%.

[Joey]

You tell them, give me 1%.

[Ant Prisco]

I want 1%.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I ask why? Like, what's the difference between that and 2%?

[Joey]

Well, you're a whole milk guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I could actually love whole milk. I love it.

[Joey]

But how's. Is there a big difference between those things?

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't had a cup of 1% milk since I was 4, so I can't sit here with.

[Joey]

I don't know if I've ever had exactly 2%. I used to, I used to let rip.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's do a taste test.

[Joey]

Oh, I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

For reasons we can't get into, I drank Too much milk recently.

[Joey]

Yeah, me too.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I don't want to see another cup of it for a very long time.

[Joey]

Yeah, that was a rough one.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you just do your coffee black?

[Joey]

Yeah. You do? I'll get a cappuccino like, six times a year.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, with whip.

[Joey]

Whip.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whipped cream on it.

[Joey]

Whipped cream? Yeah. Or just, like, cream.

[Frank Alvarez]

No whipped cream on top.

[Joey]

Like a, like a, like an ice cream sundae? No, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they do that?

[Joey]

Is that a thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

Where ihop.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I've been to places. I've been to places where it's like they bring a cappuccino and they put a little whipped cream on top.

[Joey]

Oh. I mean, if that's the case, I'm not familiar with that. I've only gotten it when it's like, you know, because I want to see what they can do.

[Frank Alvarez]

You like to see? Do you like those tick tocks that are like, people that make, like, espresso, like, in their home? Like, they have, like, the whole grinder.

[Joey]

I actually love watching that. I feel like it's crazy. The spray is wild, but, like, I, I do enjoy watching it. But if I go into a coffee shop that I've never been to before and the girls behind the counter are wearing beanies and glasses, then I'll get a cappuccino because let's see what these girls can do because they look like they can do.

[Frank Alvarez]

You commit to, like, the hipsters do have the best coffee places.

[Joey]

Or like, I think that they care enough to be good at the art at least. But I don't know. I don't, I don't. Like, I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we'll never find you in, like.

[Joey]

I don't seek out coffee.

[Frank Alvarez]

A Starbucks, I would go, but I.

[Joey]

Don'T seek out coffee.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was talking to Greg the other day. I know you'd get a kick out of this. I went and got Becca a thing of, like, cold brew from this place near us, but I didn't realize it was cold brew concentrate. Oh, dude. So I gave her a cup, like, this frank of cold brew concentrate.

[Joey]

You're trying to kill your wife.

[Frank Alvarez]

She had it and she's like, damn, my stomach is not feeling well.

[Joey]

Not on your stomach. Check your heart rate, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

She had quite a bit of it.

[Joey]

Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I just, I, I, I, I can't do. I can't, I can't do the macha slander. I understand. What, why you. Why it's gotten to a point where it's just like, all right, it's blowing up in popularity that needs to chill. But at least acknowledge that, like, you haven't had the good stuff.

[Joey]

I'll try it. But like, if I. I'm gonna give you an honest opinion.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's.

[Joey]

I'm not gonna try to hate it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Either, but that's what I'm hoping for.

[Ant Prisco]

Is it not weird that we order coffees and some of them just taste like. Like they're so. They tear. Their taste is so like in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on now.

[Joey]

What happened over there? I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

You shoot your pants.

[Ant Prisco]

The taste of coffee is so different at so many different places. It's not like if you order pancakes, you probably know what it's going to taste like. But I feel like coffee is so different everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, if you're.

[Joey]

Yeah. If you're getting like espresso drinks, you know, the way that I have a coffee machine now and it is a nightmare, like getting it right is like impossible.

[Ant Prisco]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joey]

But so I. Yeah, I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

But isn't that. Isn't that kind of.

[Joey]

That's why I get.

[Frank Alvarez]

Beauty of it. Isn't that kind of nice that like every single brew or whatever you're making, it gives you a different. There's different notes in there. Sometimes you're getting some fruity, sometimes you're getting some earthy, Sometimes you're just getting garbage.

[Joey]

Right now we're not getting a variety, we're getting all dog so that there is no variety yet. But I agree. I think that like different beans tasting a certain way and a dark roast and a light roast and a blah, blah, blah. That would be nice. But you know, we have. It's gonna take some time to dial it in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go, go commit to being a coffee snob.

[Joey]

I'm more of like a drip guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a pour over.

[Joey]

Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just commit.

[Joey]

In the summer, I'm iced coffee, easy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you. You change with the seasons.

[Joey]

Yeah, I gotta. I gotta. I like a nice iced cough.

[Frank Alvarez]

That makes sense. I mean, it's hot out here. You know, I get so you. It's to cool you down.

[Joey]

But I can't have an iced coffee outside. It's two degrees right now. My hand will freeze it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just commit to being a coffee snob.

[Joey]

I don't like it enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just do it.

[Joey]

I don't like it enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just commit to doing it.

[Joey]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not?

[Joey]

I'd rather just be like a wine snob. Even though I haven't had like wine in a very long time.

[Frank Alvarez]

You've not been drinking so, like, coffee, you could drink and not feel guilty about it.

[Joey]

Yeah, Just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just. Just fucking commit to it.

[Joey]

I don't know that I want to be the, like, up. Hook up a. I got it. Then it's. It goes and it crushes and it grinds and I click in them, and then I slap it. And then I'm blowing hot air into my milk. Yeah. And then I'm. And then the thing sucks it in.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then I'm look, guess what.

[Joey]

Morning.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a little moment for you.

[Joey]

That is a job. I am a barista in my own home. It's a prison.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's okay. I don't know. For you. Guess what. That's a form of self love, baby. That's a form of being able to sit down and just be like, I'm gonna tinker over here and I'm gonna do over here. And you're making something for yourself. You're putting kindness and heart and passion into it.

[Joey]

Yeah. I just don't think the payoff is, like. I agree that I think the notion is, like, that's nice. I don't know that the payoff is worth it yet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just do it. Buy all the gadgets and just fully commit to it.

[Joey]

I'll tell you the part that I do like, tampering.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. When they.

[Joey]

Stamping is fire. Like, just stamping, you know, like a stamp or, you know, it's fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know what you're gonna say. I know what you're gonna say. Wax.

[Joey]

Yeah, bro. I should be writing letters. I don't know who I would write them to, but I should write letters. But I get some wax, and then you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or even cool if you get, like, your thumb in there.

[Joey]

I mean, you're talking about.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're not incarcerated.

[Joey]

But that's what you do when you get arrested.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you're not gonna get arrested for writing a letter.

[Joey]

I'm not worried about being arrested. I just think that, like, you know, I mean, I would rather stamp with.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, the one that. Yeah. Like, it has, like, you know, J and S. And then you.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm telling you, wax doesn't get the love that it deserves as. As an entity.

[Joey]

I like. And I don't like when wine bottles have the wax on it. I'm like, this looks so fire. But then when you try to open that bottle. Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like wax because, like, I feel like I'm like a whittler. Like, I can, like, whittle, you know, people, how they like, whittle wood. I can't do that. So I do it with wax. And I feel like this is.

[Joey]

It just sounds like you're saying little wood in an accident.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just a little wood.

[Joey]

You're saying it in an accident.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to do it all the time. My mom used to yell at my brothers and I because we would always take forks and just carve into her.

[Joey]

Candle and carve into the candles.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's fucked up.

[Joey]

What was her camp? Like a Yankee candle?

[Frank Alvarez]

She would have candles, like decorative candles for Christmas.

[Joey]

But they're raw.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're just like, raw. And then there's just a fork.

[Joey]

This kid walking to his house. It's like. It's the cat. The cat got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's so fun to play with wax, though, dude.

[Joey]

I enjoy wax, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like tape.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm a tape guy.

[Joey]

I.

[Frank Alvarez]

With tape. Tape's a good one. I can't talk about tape.

[Joey]

I like taking tape and wrapping it around my hand and then looking at my hand all flat.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? We should do an episode. Because I did that episode. I'm saying, covered in tape. You should do an episode. Yeah.

[Joey]

If you, like, tape down your nipples, it like, your nipples look different.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why do we got to go with nipples, brother?

[Joey]

I mean, you taped down your nipples that day. I did.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know I did. But, like, it was. It was a lot of tape, too, I think. I say tape.

[Joey]

Tape's fantastic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Rank these in terms of bestness. Okay. Tape.

[Joey]

Yeah. Wax.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's another one I want to.

[Joey]

You did this without a third.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just the ones we've talked about already. Tape. Yeah. Wax.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Rope. String. Yarn. Yarn. Tape.

[Joey]

String is so ass. Yarn, though. Like, I'm like a kitty cat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like twine. Get it the out of here. But yarn, baby.

[Joey]

Wine. Go to hell. Twine. Pretentious. I love yarn. Wait, what am I doing? Wax based off tape. Wax is number one. Wax is cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think wax is one.

[Joey]

I like wax. But tape. Tape's got a place.

[Frank Alvarez]

What kind of tape? Oh, we've. We recently talked about tape, didn't we?

[Joey]

Did we?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think we said, like, the tape that, like, shits its pants when you open it.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah, I'm into it, but I don't like that. I gotta try and find the edge because I fucking accidentally, like, it's impossible, yo. Low key electric tape. That is dope, yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would. I'm not kidding. Chew on electric tape.

[Joey]

Like bubble gum. You chew on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would have you.

[Joey]

Not recently, probably, but you have.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no.

[Joey]

In your life. Yeah, you have. You chewed on It.

[Ant Prisco]

What about that blue thumbtack stuff?

[Joey]

That is.

[Frank Alvarez]

That don't make it look like gum if I can't chew on it.

[Joey]

Yo, that's. That's, that's how you know God's real. Because that exists. That. What's it called? You used to love that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thumbtack.

[Joey]

Yeah, thumbtack.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to collect it, dude.

[Joey]

Yeah, huh.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was a kid.

[Joey]

You used to collect it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I've told the story.

[Joey]

What is collect? Oh, you had like a. Wait, why, why did I know this? Because you say you put it in your pants.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I like, I like put it on my chin and I would go like this and it would wag back and forth and it looked like a dick.

[Joey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I, I brought it to my sister's play and got in trouble probably. Yeah, I did get in trouble.

[Joey]

I did love that stuff. And they would just come in like the little packs and I would just ball them up.

[Frank Alvarez]

And that's how we used to hang up posters. Are posters still a thing?

[Joey]

Yeah. Are bulletin boards a thing in schools?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, poster. No, I don't.

[Joey]

Your mom's a teacher?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. She's got a bulletin board, I assume.

[Joey]

Does she go by like her first name or something? Like is that something they're doing now? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it Ms. Yellow or is it.

[Joey]

Or she's just like. Yeah, just call me Anne or whatever.

[Ant Prisco]

No, it's last name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Ant Prisco]

It's Mrs. Briscoe.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mrs. Prisco.

[Joey]

Mrs. Prisco. That's such a teacher.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's such a teacher name. I did like the teacher that would just be like. Call me by my first name. Yeah, call me Steve. Mr. Steve. We had a teacher.

[Joey]

Oh yeah, well, Mr. Yeah, that's fine. Well, his last name was impossible.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was the exact same as our teacher's last name.

[Joey]

Oh shit. That's right. Yeah. Who am I thinking of then?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joey]

You know, one time I saw the payroll at that school. Oh, shouldn't I said that?

[Frank Alvarez]

What are they gonna do? I know you're a school Sweetheart.

[Joey]

It was 20 years ago, but I, I saw the payroll and I was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, you were. You were a 13 year old kid seeing the payroll? You thought it was rough back then.

[Joey]

No, no, no, no. My mom worked there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. No, no, no, you don't need to. I know.

[Joey]

I'm bringing her down with me.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're going down?

[Joey]

She didn't like show me. It was like on her computer. Cuz she was a secretary and I like came to see her one day. And I was just, like, sitting her chair. And I was like, you know when you're a kid and you're like, I'm gonna start throwing stuff around. And then I looked at the screen and there was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I.

[Joey]

Then I noticed that it was a payroll because I had teachers names that I like, whatever. And I was more fascinated by finding out these teachers that I had their first name, because that was like. But then I was like, let's see what they pay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's see what they pay.

[Joey]

What are these numbers?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, let's see what they pay in rent. Not good.

[Joey]

No. I think. I think one of them that, like, was tenured had been there, was making, like, 92. That's a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, that's a lot for.

[Joey]

And that was a while ago, 2006. That's why I was just like, damn, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn. I mean, remember Ms. Franco?

[Joey]

God damn, bro. I don't even remember what she was making.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, they were paying her in, like, two dollar bills. This woman was sold, bro.

[Joey]

Yeah. She was so old. Yeah. I'm convinced that she had the Tony Stark thing in the center of her chest keeping her alive. Because I'm like, dude, you know you're dead.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, let's make sure we say this. Teachers are criminally underpaid for what they have to do. Yeah, we have to end.

[Joey]

Like, who signs up for that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know, dude. There are times where I've done cameos where people are just like, oh, they're so. And so's a teacher. And I'm like, what a thankless job, bro.

[Joey]

My God, you're signing up to get.

[Frank Alvarez]

Screamed at by children.

[Joey]

You must, like, want to educate the youth so much. And you. And, like, you have such a passion for that, and I respect that so much. But my God, if I had to go to work and deal with these dumbass kids all day and then go home and grade 30 papers about Abraham Lincoln, I'd blow my head off.

[Frank Alvarez]

How much you think they're actually grading at those, though?

[Joey]

That is a fair question.

[Frank Alvarez]

How much you think that they're actually grading A book report on capture.

[Joey]

Our friend Tim, growing up, he's a teacher, and I used to talk to him about that exact thing. And he's like, oh, I grade it. And then you have to also lesson plan for the next day. It's. It. It's never ending.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is crazy.

[Joey]

And then now I gotta go online and pray to God someone can help me with my Amazon list so that my kids can have shit and I can actually teach them. What the fuck are we doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

[Joey]

What are we doing out there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Why'd your mom get into teaching?

[Ant Prisco]

I think it was a family thing, like my grandma taught. Siblings taught.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you said teachers?

[Ant Prisco]

Think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your grandma was a teacher?

[Ant Prisco]

I believe so.

[Frank Alvarez]

She mean one?

[Ant Prisco]

Probably.

[Joey]

Why she mean. She's a mean grandma.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but did she ever give you money?

[Ant Prisco]

She's fiery. Yeah.

[Joey]

She gave you money? Yeah, a lot of money.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. You're hesitant.

[Ant Prisco]

No. Cuz I was like, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. But my grandmother helped all the time. $20. Imagine giving a child a check. The fuck do I do? Yo, I used to get checks for like. Like birthdays and stuff. I remember just handing it to my mom. Be like, what the fuck do I do with this?

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, I, you know.

[Ant Prisco]

What did you do with it?

[Joey]

I gave it to my parents. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they figured it out. I don't understand.

[Joey]

By the way, I've never seen a dollar of that money. Like my checks that. That disappeared.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Something you'll learn when you get to have kids is you. Their money is your money, you know, like. But my money's not their money. I'm kidding.

[Joey]

It is, but I, like, don't think I ever saw that. Like, I didn't, like, get to a certain age. My parents, like, here's the bank account that we have for you. I was like, oh, shit, I gotta go to the bank and get a bank account.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Ant Prisco]

I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think they had a bank account for me, like a savings account, and I have one for the kids. But I don't think it was like. It was. Because it was like, you get like $40 in cash for your birthday.

[Joey]

Yeah, but it's years of that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but what are you making? Well, no, I don't. $80 a year for 20 years.

[Joey]

Well, my extended family would send letters to the house, and those would have checks in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, but. So you're maybe getting how many a year?

[Joey]

I don't know, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe.

[Joey]

I also, in fifth grade, I won an essay writing contest.

[Ant Prisco]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

He did.

[Joey]

That was 500 bucks. That went straight to the electricity bill.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joey]

Probably. I mean, I never saw 500 bucks.

[Frank Alvarez]

Jesus Christ.

[Joey]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Rich.

[Ant Prisco]

What was the essay about?

[Frank Alvarez]

9 11.

[Joey]

Truly about 9 11. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Joey]

Say it. Say what you wanted to say.

[Ant Prisco]

Nothing. I think it was worth the 500. Probably could have got a little more.

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, I knew what I was doing.

[Frank Alvarez]

He was. He was playing it up. He was prime for, like, winning that. His dad was A firefighter? Are you kidding me?

[Joey]

It was, it was like the, the theme was like, what do you think a hero is? And I was like, I'm tied in 9, 11. If they don't give it to me, they forgot. And never forget. Never. Anyway, we have ads. Look, here we have Rocket Money, okay? Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance app that is going to put the money back in your pocket. How are they going to do that? Fantastic question, but first they are going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. We've all made the mistake. You sign up for something, you get a free trial, whatever that expires, and all of a sudden you're paying $8 a month for this thing. Two years pass by, you're like, why did I do that? This is going to try and prevent those types of things from happening. It also, maybe you're not irresponsible, but if you have all of your spending in one place, you can kind of stare at it and say, do I really need this and this? And I can save an extra 16 bucks a month. And over time, you know, you're saving money, more efficient, more thoughtful with your money. They also have a budgeting tool. So if you want to be more financially responsible, every single month, you set a budget for yourself. You put in all your expenditures, and, you know, you stay below the budget. And they also can help you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. So it's. All of these things are gonna help you put the money back in your pocket, okay? But yeah, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Basement okay, that is RocketMoney.com Basement Put the money back in your pockets, folks. RocketMoney.com Basement and lastly here, sorry, lastly here we have Factor. Okay? Factor. They have quality, functional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats. All right? Factor makes it healthy eating easy. They got fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs, and you just get them. You've probably seen the commercials. I've been seeing them a lot. But you just, you just get them and you could heat them right up and you're good. They fit into your goals and your schedule. Whether you want to be like, you know, watching your calorie intake, if you want to be in a deficit or something, or you want more protein. Whatever your goals are, they can match the meals to, you know, line up with.

[Frank Alvarez]

With that.

[Joey]

They have 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through the winter. But yeah, so they always have these things. It's always fresh. It's not frozen. It's ready in about two minutes. There's no prep, no stress, so it's easy. Go on to their site and go check it out. But it's great. I mean, I've had a couple factor meals, and I'm like, I don't know how high my expectation is for this thing, but it was fantastic. So go check out factor and you can head to factor meals.com basement50off and use the code BASEMENT50OFF to get 50 off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor new subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. And yeah, dude, if you want to eat like me, go try out factor. All right. But, yeah, what were you talking about? Someone's grandma or something teaching and like that? Yeah, that's different.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. What's the. What do you think is the worst grade to teach?

[Joey]

Seventh.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a tough one.

[Joey]

That's when I was the worst.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a tough one.

[Joey]

Yeah, everyone was the worst. Also, like, that was like, I was.

[Frank Alvarez]

A little worse in sixth, but seventh is, like, where sixth.

[Joey]

I was in a new school, so I was on my best behave. I was definitely forging those reading logs like crazy, though. Dude, my teacher, Ms.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gross.

[Joey]

That was her name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ugly.

[Joey]

Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't understand. I remember we used to get those reading logs that had, like, the smiley face. It was like, you read this. This page of. This page, put a smiley face for how you like it.

[Joey]

Fuck that. I. I don't know that I've ever read for my reading log.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know I did. There's like, I've read the Harry Potter books. I've read the Chronicle of Narnia books. I've read a series of Unfortunate Event books. If I wasn't reading one of those for those logs, it was fake.

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, it was. I would make up titles to books. I'm like, they're not checking this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, it was. But this was early, early Internet that you think they're gonna check the name of.

[Joey]

What, do you know every book?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, I'm making up a book.

[Joey]

I don't care.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you make up and do you remember any of the ones you made up?

[Joey]

No. It was probably like, you know, the biography of Michael Jordan or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. You were probably writing those.

[Joey]

I was just.

[Frank Alvarez]

You just, like, heard your dad told you something about Clyde Drexler and You were like, I read that from a book.

[Joey]

Yeah. And then I, you know, made up a reading log.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can we move past, like, the traditional, like, reading things that kids have to read, like Catcher in the Rye, Hatchet, all the other stupid ones.

[Joey]

All My Bones. What's that called?

[Frank Alvarez]

The. The Lovely Bones.

[Joey]

The Lovely Bones.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had to read that as a child. That's about murder. And like, we read that in high school. Did you read that? No, I read in your guys's high school. That was about like, lovely bones.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wasn't it about like assaulting a child and then murdering her?

[Joey]

There was definitely a dead woman's bones.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've heard it's very good.

[Ant Prisco]

But I just watched the movie.

[Joey]

Yeah, I mean, the Capture in the Rye. I completely bullshitted my way through those tests somehow.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not kidding. What the fuck is that book about?

[Joey]

See, I wish I knew the answer, but I didn't read it.

[Frank Alvarez]

People are just like, holden Caulfield is a martyr.

[Joey]

Oh yeah, that's the name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fuck does that even mean?

[Joey]

Of Mice, of Men. That's another one.

[Frank Alvarez]

That one.

[Joey]

I read it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember liking that one because I felt bad that he. Yeah.

[Joey]

Whenever I think of. Of Mice, of Men, I think of this one English class that I had in high school and I. And we were talking about the book and I remember the teacher had asked me a question. I hadn't read anything. And then the bell went off, so I just got up and left. And when I walked out into the hallway, there was a girl coming down the hallway and she was like this. And throwing up through her hands. So whenever I hear Of Mice of Men, I think of that throwing up girl.

[Ant Prisco]

My English teacher. Her whole, like, thesis was on the Great Gatsby. And she hated Daisy. I don't know if that's too deep a cut. She hated this character.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I. I've never read the Great Gatsby.

[Ant Prisco]

Like just every time she spoke she's like, unlike Daisy, like, like she. Like an enemy from the past.

[Frank Alvarez]

I understand. Listen, I'm not sitting here and like, not advocating for books because I do think books are cool. But like, read the, read the, watch the movie.

[Joey]

Do you guys think this is weird? So I've been reading a lot lately and I'm reading this book now. It's fucking 550 pages, but it's fantastic.

[Frank Alvarez]

But is it the mushroom one?

[Joey]

No, no, no. I actually put that down and I'm trying this different book. But I. I noticed cuz I tried to do audible, like recently where I'M like, I'm gonna get on the treadmill and I'm just going to listen. But it's, like, hard for me if I'm doing something else. Like, I can do audible if I'm just sitting and just, like, listening, but I can't do it while running. So I was like, all right, I'm not doing audible. And then I was like, I'm going to read the physical book. And then I would get distracted doing that, too. But then I do. I listen along to the book and I follow along on the actual book.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you're double paying for the book?

[Joey]

Yes, but I have credits.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I got.

[Joey]

I got 12 credits for Christmas, so it was free.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I was. Someone else paid for it, but they. Yeah, yeah, I'm paying double for books.

[Joey]

So that I can read them.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you're.

[Joey]

I'm listening and following along on the pages, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I feel like it helps me.

[Joey]

Retain the information, like, a lot better.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. Just, like, double read the single book.

[Joey]

Double read? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I. My issue with reading is, like, I'll read a page and then I'll be on the third page and be like, oh, fuck, I don't remember a page and a half ago. So I have to go back and reread it.

[Joey]

Well, this is the thing. You can save time. If someone's reading it and you're kind of following along, you're getting it in two ways at once. That's how it feels.

[Frank Alvarez]

So double penetration. Say it.

[Joey]

The book is DPing.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

But I'm getting gang. You're getting by information.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're getting gang banged by words, dude.

[Joey]

And I. And I. But. And that's the thing. And the. And I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey]

I'm getting DP'd by this book, and the information is sticking.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I might start picking up reading again. But, like, reading, like, classic pieces of literature. Like, I might start reading some. Some Shakespeare just to find around and, you know, smarten myself up, you know?

[Joey]

I don't know how much you're gonna get from that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, probably not a lot, but I think it's a good way to just keep the brain moving.

[Joey]

Right.

[Ant Prisco]

And you will get a lot from learning how to read.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, I read so good.

[Joey]

Are you a good reader?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I'm a great reader. Put something in front of me. Watch how good I read it. Look up a random. Random set of words. No, you did this. Now I'm pissed. Look up a sentence of words, and I'm gonna read it so goddamn well.

[Ant Prisco]

A sentence of words.

[Joey]

Yeah, that. Already we're at a hot start here.

[Frank Alvarez]

He wouldn't say. He was a writer. He's a reader.

[Joey]

I'm a good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm a good reader, dude.

[Joey]

Any. Are you a read alouder?

[Frank Alvarez]

Any sentence you pull up, I'll read it perfectly.

[Joey]

Not a sentence. We need. We need something here. All right, just read that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I can't see that.

[Joey]

That's fair. Frank's blind. We got to pull this in. No, we need more.

[Frank Alvarez]

We need more. All right. How much am I reading?

[Ant Prisco]

Just this first. This. I don't even know what this is, but this first thing. Go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Strange Bedfellows lamented the title of a recent letter to Museum News in which a certain Harriet Sherman excoriated the National Gallery of Art in Washington for its handling of tickets to the much ballyhooed Van Gogh's Van Goghs exhibit.

[Joey]

Honestly, you got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's crazy. But you. You hit ballyhoo.

[Joey]

That was great. I didn't even know they were gonna throw three of those kind of words.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I saw excoriated. When I got through that, I was like, I'm ghosted. Do you even know what that word is? I don't know, is like when you like, attack something or like tear it apart.

[Ant Prisco]

I was impressed with the belly hood.

[Joey]

Yeah, you can't belly hood.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, give Joey another one of those. The second one. Joey, do you. Or the third one.

[Joey]

The last one. The last one.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's about the same length. Come on, Joey, let's text. Let's see your good. The last one.

[Ant Prisco]

All right. Last one. Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go, Joey.

[Joey]

What am I doing? Read that. Ethical appeals notwithstanding, great art with increasingly devolve into big business. Is that business? Oh, no.

[Ant Prisco]

Business.

[Joey]

Firstly, great art can only be certified by its market value. Moreover, the world at large hasn't the. Why am I sounding like I'm on the news?

[Frank Alvarez]

I love.

[Joey]

Moreover, the world at large hasn't the means of acquisition. Only one museum currently has the funding to contend for the best pieces. The J. Paul Getty Museum, founded by the billionaire oil man. The art may disappear into private hands, but its transfer will disseminate. Disseminate one static fortunes into the hands of various investors, collectors, occasionally the artist.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, we have a better reader amongst us.

[Ant Prisco]

There's been better, but I think that. Sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

Back to the pizza shop. I'm just good at reading.

[Joey]

Dude, you're a good reader.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thank you so much. I do love those tiktoks that are just like pretend, like follow along like you're a newscaster and it's like tonight at 9, you know, that's tough. I think, I think we would be good newscasters. Hey, news, are you watching?

[Joey]

No, I'm not. I'm not good at that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, why You've been saying that you've been applying for jobs with Fox News. Why don't you just show them what you could do? Well, that was good. You know it. Good.

[Joey]

Side are you on now? I'm confused. I don't even know whose side. Oh, wait, can we quickly do the 6, 12, 18, 24? Sure. 6, 12, 18, 24. You have to do. So wait, keep those numbers in mind. And it's jerks or rubs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like jerking off. Yeah.

[Joey]

Oh, donuts, beers and miles.

[Ant Prisco]

So how many of those you do in a 24 hour period?

[Joey]

You have to assign one of those to 6, 12, 18 and 24.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, let me write this down.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it's.

[Joey]

It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Donuts, beers, masks, master masturbations. Yeah. And Miles.

[Joey]

Miles.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Holy fuck. I mean, I don't think anyone could crank their fucking hog six times in a.

[Joey]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll come out looking like.

[Joey]

I mean, I could if I had to. I would put that one at 6. There's no way I'm going to 12.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't imagine. I can't imagine that even.

[Joey]

Me neither. I think the beer got up there like three, four times when I was like in like eighth grade.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think the beers would be 24. Now hear me out, because 24 donuts is going to kill me quicker than 24 beers, is it? Probably not, but I would enjoy one of Those significantly more.

[Joey]

24 beers is probably more doable over the course of an entire Day than 24 donuts. That would hurt me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Think about it like this. If you drink one beer an hour for an entire day, you technically don't get over the legal limit. So, like, you're not gonna be drunk to the point of like, oh my God.

[Joey]

I also would be drinking a beer and like shotgun in a beer and then like not drinking for like a bit.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Drink three in an hour. Don't drink for three hours. Do that again.

[Joey]

Yeah, something like that. So that's probably doable. 24 is probably right.

[Frank Alvarez]

So we're gonna go jerk.

[Joey]

Six beer, 24. Now we have 12 and 18 and what's left? Miles and donuts.

[Ant Prisco]

Miles and donuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I mean, miles has to be 18.

[Joey]

What? I was gonna say half marathon. And then what am I Saying donuts. Oh, fuck. 12 donuts is probably not hard over the course of a day, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think just the thought of eating that much of anything in a day.

[Joey]

You'D rather run 18 miles.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who said run, brother? I can walk while I eat these donuts and drink. I can walk the whole day. Start to front, face to ass.

[Joey]

Start to front.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the same spot. Now if you start in the back.

[Joey]

Yeah, start to front.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that if you walk at a. At a rate of 3 miles per hour and you walk eight, that's walking for six hours straight. You can do that, dude.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could. I mean it's gonna be tough, don't get me wrong. But you could definitely do that.

[Joey]

I guess you could walk and chug beers.

[Ant Prisco]

Don't you think jerks gotta go in the 12 or 18, dude, your penis would be.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is wrong with your.

[Joey]

Dude, your penis would just like.

[Frank Alvarez]

It would look. Your dick would look like the. Where's my chocolate lady from spongebob?

[Joey]

It looked like someone crocheted it.

[Ant Prisco]

I think you got to put it in the 12.

[Joey]

12. What would go six then you could.

[Ant Prisco]

Do 12, maybe donuts.

[Joey]

And then six donuts.

[Ant Prisco]

18 miles and brother, six donuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's make it hard.

[Joey]

I could eat six donuts easy.

[Ant Prisco]

Right? But you can't j it 12 times.

[Joey]

Correct.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

So that makes it hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, fuck you. Yeah. That was disgusting.

[Ant Prisco]

He said the question. I think 12 J's and then six donuts. 18 miles. 24, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Shot. I can't imagine 12 J's is wild. You wouldn't be able to breathe.

[Ant Prisco]

How are you?

[Joey]

Yeah. How is he? Auto erotic asphyxiation. Never gonna say that. Never gonna get that right on the first try. I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean I think that. I think the 24 has to be beers. I think the 18 is miles.

[Joey]

I'm aligned. I'm aligned.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think the 12 is donuts. Yeah. You know, because you can bang out three donuts.

[Joey]

Is this a bad day also? Like, am I not enjoying this day? This sounds awesome.

[Ant Prisco]

It's been interesting. Santa Gotta studios video.

[Frank Alvarez]

This sounds miserable.

[Joey]

I mean, I think that part of the day would be fantastic. I think once you get into the wee hours, we're gonna have some trouble.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, this sounds. This sounds awful. Just because you're gonna bro, you're gonna feel like shit. You're drinking.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're all day. The only thing, presumably the only thing you're consuming is donuts and beer.

[Ant Prisco]

That's why I Want to bring it down to six donuts? Dude? A couple donuts, couple Js, couple beers in the beginning of the day.

[Joey]

Yeah, we're off to a hot start there. Good morning.

[Ant Prisco]

And then you go jog some miles.

[Frank Alvarez]

That sounds miserable.

[Joey]

I think I have a beer and a donut.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good combination.

[Joey]

That doesn't be combined.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank.

[Joey]

What are you talking about? Last Memorial Day, you had, like, 13 beers. You had 11 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's a better combination than beers and donuts. Beers and hot dogs or beers and donuts?

[Joey]

I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why do I need to defend this espresso martini? Stop what you're doing.

[Joey]

Taco Bell. Probably two burgers.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a couple burgers. I'm not. I'm not sitting here and saying that I don't have the capacity to do it.

[Joey]

Why are we talking about something you ate recently?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, when I. When I went to Jersey Freeze with the kids and Becca, I ate everyone's food. Listen, I acknowledge that.

[Joey]

I. Donut is not even food.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It's butter and dough and sugar.

[Ant Prisco]

How many donuts you guys eating?

[Frank Alvarez]

12. I'm saying 12.

[Ant Prisco]

I think that'll ruin your day more than the other things.

[Joey]

12 Js.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't. I can't.

[Joey]

That.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't imagine your dick working after.

[Joey]

I don't. Yeah, I don't think it happened. I don't think I could.

[Ant Prisco]

Could. It would be tough.

[Joey]

It would hurt.

[Ant Prisco]

Sure, there's a little bit of pain maybe, but I think Joe eating 12 hot dogs would give him some hurt, too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wait. Hot dogs are in here. No, I'm kidding.

[Joey]

Donuts. I'll say that.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right.

[Ant Prisco]

What if it's not donuts? It's hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

24 hot dogs. No. Realistically, in a 24 hour period, I can eat 12 hot dogs.

[Joey]

I could do that in 24 hours. I would not be happy. Nor would I would it be easy.

[Frank Alvarez]

We still need to do the pigs in a blanket. How many we can eat in one episode? We didn't. We didn't do that. We talked about it.

[Joey]

And max amount.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I could fucking ruin some pigs in a blanket. Like, I don't know what it is about them, but, like, just that combination.

[Joey]

How many you think you could eat in an hour if you were, like, paid per. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

How much am I getting paid per now? We're talking now. And perked up. You saw that.

[Joey]

He was like, oh, well, whatever, whatever. It's $1,000. Per.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tax free.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ooh, $1,000 per. Hold on. Yeah, $1,000 per pig in a blanket. And it's whatever I can eat in one hour. Yeah. And I can't throw it up. No. For how long after that hour?

[Joey]

Just the hour.

[Frank Alvarez]

So as long as I don't throw up, it could be an hour and one second. I throw up. I'm good.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think, realistically, I can eat 32.

[Joey]

32?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Ant Prisco]

I thought that even. I thought that was gonna be way higher.

[Joey]

I think I could eat 32.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joey]

32? I feel like when I'm at it, I feel like when I'm at somewhere that has them, I eat, like, over 10.

[Ant Prisco]

All right.

[Joey]

You have to accidentally.

[Ant Prisco]

You have to eat one every two minutes, essentially, at that rate.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is very simple, which I don't even think.

[Joey]

I think that's harder to do if I have to stop myself and eat one every two minutes.

[Ant Prisco]

We should do the. This is the power hour.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is a very easy thing.

[Joey]

You could get 50.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think so?

[Joey]

I believe in you.

[Ant Prisco]

I feel like you're thinking of it like popcorn when you should think of it, like, you know.

[Joey]

Oh, you're thinking of it like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like you.

[Joey]

Like a dirty bastard.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. Like, you got to eat dirty. You got to get dirty.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, dude, you got to respect the. The blanket.

[Ant Prisco]

It's a thousand dollars a dog, baby.

[Joey]

And we're also dipping it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, sure. How much ketchup do you end up having, too? Yeah. And I also sprinkle ketchup sauerkraut on it.

[Joey]

Do you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I like to. Why not?

[Joey]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Treat it like a full dog.

[Joey]

So what if you did just put it in a bowl and, like, mix that all in, like, a salad, and then you were just shoving it like a pig.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That sounds incredible. That sounds honestly, really, really yummy.

[Joey]

Ketchup and sauerkraut.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to do, like, at a certain point, the ketchup needs to fucking chill.

[Joey]

I agree. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, because then you'll just. Then you'll fill up on ketchup. So if we're doing this, I'm doing this. No ketchup, because I'm saving as much room. You know, if there is. Hold on.

[Ant Prisco]

Listen.

[Frank Alvarez]

I follow my math here, okay? If there is, My God, the fourth.

[Joey]

Of July episode's gonna go insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

If there is a fifth of a pig in a blanket, amount of ketchup per pig in a blanket, five of them would be an extra pig in a blanket. So 10 of them would be 2, 15 would be 3, 20 would be 4.

[Joey]

What am I supposed to know what that means?

[Frank Alvarez]

They get. They get what I'm saying. So that's potentially 10 extra pigs in a blanket that I'm missing out on if I do ketchup on every single one.

[Joey]

Oh, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I think we. If we do this, no ketchup.

[Joey]

Maybe one. Just so, like, you have a dipping. You can dip or not dip. It's up to you.

[Ant Prisco]

You're saying the ketchup would take up dog space?

[Frank Alvarez]

Correct.

[Ant Prisco]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Correct.

[Ant Prisco]

Locked in.

[Joey]

A hundred per dog. 100 per. How many. How much money you walking away with? 5 g's, 4 g's, 3 g. I.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think just to be safe, I would say 3, 500. I think I. I can with conf. If it was just like, am I bugging? I feel like in and out. Crazy.

[Ant Prisco]

The time will get you the quantity. Sure. Doesn't sound like a lot. The time will get you, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think about it, If I'm eating.

[Joey]

Seven in, like, no time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joey]

No time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. But then your brain catches up eventually. Like, then your brain is gonna be like, oh, shit, I just ate seven doggies.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, what am I talking about? No, you could definitely get 50.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could definitely get 50. Am I crazy now?

[Ant Prisco]

I'm thinking about it.

[Joey]

30 is probably a lot, but not when I'm going for it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think. I think collectively we can easily do 60.

[Joey]

Also. You said 30.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah, yeah. 60 collectively would be insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. Between me and you, I'm not choosing him because I'm still mad at him.

[Ant Prisco]

What if it's the, like, two people? So you're competing with someone. And to get the money, you also have to eat more than the other person.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who is it against?

[Joey]

I have an idea. I have an idea. If when we surpass 40,000 patrons, we get a.

[Frank Alvarez]

We each get a plate of 40.

[Joey]

Of what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Of 40 pigs in a blanket.

[Joey]

We each do that, right? And for each one we eat, we'll donate the money to something. But we have to. We have to, like, figure out what the amount is per.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think that's for me to figure.

[Joey]

I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think if we. If we. If we're doing 40 for 40,000 patrons.

[Ant Prisco]

40 each.

[Frank Alvarez]

40. 40, 40, 40, 40.

[Joey]

Yeah, but we would have to finish all of them. It's only the ones that we finish.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So it would be whatever we finished times. I don't want to. This is crazy.

[Joey]

I don't even know if I want.

[Frank Alvarez]

To eat 40 pigs is there? Well, it's for charity.

[Joey]

Now it's for charity.

[Ant Prisco]

Now it's for charity.

[Frank Alvarez]

So if you don't eat, is there.

[Joey]

A hot dog charity? Listen to the words you say charity.

[Ant Prisco]

When they go to the like animals or something, then if like that, that's what would a hot dog charity.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hot dog charity.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm not saying that's where it's going. Just saying that sounds closest to a hot dog. Like a dog charity.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. So first thing that popped up. What?

[Joey]

You're twisting your head like a German shepherd. Sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is apparently a charity called Hot Dogs that Help. Hot Dogs that Help Incorporated. Makes fundraising simple and profitable. We partner with schools. Free plug, by the way.

[Joey]

Also, we're not a school.

[Frank Alvarez]

They sell their signature hot dogs and fresh squeezed lemonade. Goal is to keep the profit to fund what matters.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, lemonade. Hell yeah.

[Joey]

I can't even tell you the last time I had a lemonade. That sounds fantastic.

[Ant Prisco]

But if some toddler was selling it on the side of the road, I'm getting it.

[Joey]

You know what I see videos of? Sometimes people make lemonades and this girl had like. There's like girls working there and they have these machines where they like cut a lemon in half and they put it in like a, a little mini bucket. Then they throw sugar in there and then they put the lemonade in and they shake it up. And I'm like, that probably will put me in the hospital. But it probably tastes good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. These look like good hot dogs.

[Joey]

Yeah, they do.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a good looking dog.

[Joey]

So between the three of us, that's 100. We assign a number.

[Ant Prisco]

It's 120. Hot mini weenies.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hot mini weenies.

[Ant Prisco]

If it's 40, 40, 40.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't call them hot meanie weenies, by the way. They're pigs in a blanket.

[Ant Prisco]

What did I say? Hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said hot mini weenies.

[Joey]

What am I saying?

[Ant Prisco]

Did I say that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, you did. Run the fucking tape back.

[Joey]

You don't have a curse. That wasn't the first time I heard it.

[Ant Prisco]

Mini weenies for sure. That's why I said that. I don't know if I called them hot. I don't think I attributed any attractiveness.

[Joey]

Well, I was thinking more like temperature.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Well, see now, now it sounds like you did attribute an attractiveness. Them.

[Ant Prisco]

All right, so what? 100. A mini weenie. That would be.

[Joey]

That'd be a lot.

[Ant Prisco]

That'd be a lot.

[Joey]

Six G's or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a. That's. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Doing math for 40 yeah. You're locking that one in.

[Joey]

Do I want to eat all that hot dog?

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, that's $12,000, by the way. Is it 100 times 120?

[Joey]

That's a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think. I don't think you'll be able to finish as much as you're.

[Joey]

That's true.

[Ant Prisco]

That's also assuming we all eat them all.

[Joey]

That's true. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think there's a reason.

[Joey]

Do it.

[Ant Prisco]

I like that idea.

[Joey]

What about if we do 40 each? Like, 40. 40.

[Frank Alvarez]

We keep it all. 40.

[Ant Prisco]

That's what.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what we said.

[Joey]

No, I mean, like, $40 per dog.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's cute.

[Ant Prisco]

That's cute.

[Joey]

Like 40 for 40.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was more.

[Joey]

Well, I'm trying to be, like, realistic.

[Frank Alvarez]

In a. Yeah, I know, I know.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm down. I'll eat for charity.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'll eat hot dogs for anything.

[Joey]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also for charity. Well, There you go.

[Joey]

40,000 patrons. If we surpass 40,000 and we get to 41, then we'll make it. We'll do 50. Like, every thousand will go up a 50. If it does. I don't know. I don't know if there's going to be a rush. I doubt it, but.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, you mean by the time we.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I don't think people are going to.

[Frank Alvarez]

See this and go.

[Joey]

I thought you.

[Ant Prisco]

Were saying we're gonna do this for every thousand.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no, that's not what I'm saying.

[Joey]

How many hot dogs can one person eat?

[Ant Prisco]

Well, it's mini weenies.

[Joey]

Can we get that many fucking mini.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hot dogs, dude, they come in Costco packs of, like, 50. We'll be good. We'll be good. All right, well, I like that we're.

[Joey]

Flush that idea out, but, like, 40,000. We'll make it happen. All right. Anyway, Frank, where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I was almost gonna say chomping on wieners, but I. Chomping on little wieners. I didn't. I don't know. Patreon.cominaire the Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go, go.

[Joey]

Check it out.

[Ant Prisco]

He took up a lot of my time. I think he took up a lot of my time there.

[Joey]

Where can they find you again?

[Ant Prisco]

Find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.

[Joey]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

You let him get it. You let him slide in there.

[Joey]

Nice guy. Go follow the show at the basement yard on Tick Tock and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time. Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off this whole Zero sugar energy drink thing, but Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.