The Basement Yard #543 – “What Is Your Love Language?”

Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with Ant as co-host/producer)
Studio: Santagato Studios

Episode Overview

In this fun and candid episode, the guys explore the topic of "love languages," diving into how they give and receive affection, while weaving in plenty of humor, personal stories, and their signature digressions. The discussion covers awkward doctor visits, flying emergencies, childhood memories, and a surprisingly heartfelt Power Rangers tribute. The trio also ranks their own love languages, debates the meaning of acts of service, and shares opinions on ceremonial matcha. The overall tone is playful and relatable with plenty of tangents.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Banter, Doctor Visit Tales & Medical Gowns (00:00–14:45)

• Dog banter, ringtones, and good vibrations:
  • Joe and Frank open with playful teasing about Joe's dog Charlie and the state of phone ringtones in 2026 (00:00–02:01).
• The dermatologist story:
  • Joe recounts his full-body check at the dermatologist, highlighting the awkwardness of undressing and unexpectedly having his penis inspected (03:16–07:02).
    • Notable quote:

      “...if I knew my penis was getting looked at I would've slapped it around a little bit.” – Joey (05:03)

  • Frank and Ant join in with stories about medical exams and anatomy, with the conversation turning to “matching” beauty marks in the family (09:01–11:11).
• On medical gown design:
  • The guys critique the indignity of flimsy paper gowns and brainstorm better designs—like tear-away pants or Velcro-assisted outfits (11:16–12:43).

2. Childhood & Medical Expertise (14:00–20:00)

• Embarrassing childhood memories:
  • Panting incidents in public parks and the importance of “being ready” for exposure get laughs (13:04–14:45).
    • Notable quote:

      "Dicks are like wrestlers. They need to warm up." – Frank (14:16)

• Who’s closest to being a doctor?
  • Frank humorously argues he's closest to being a doctor due to his criminal justice background (16:13–19:13).
• Plane emergencies & imposter doctors:
  • Frank recounts a real mid-flight medical emergency and wonders how flight crews know if someone is a ‘real’ doctor (20:13–22:45).

3. Flight Emergencies, Death, and Drinks (23:00–27:40)

• What happens if someone dies in-flight?
  • The group speculates on the airlines’ procedure, landing at the morbid but practical reality: you simply get covered with a blanket until landing (23:36–24:19).
• Drinking on flights & mimosa blame:
  • Frank and Joe debate who started past in-flight mimosa benders, culminating in recalling their boozy Puerto Rico escapade (25:33–26:29).

4. The Power Rangers Tribute (31:39–36:44)

• Frank’s musical moment:
  • Frank presents an original Power Rangers tribute, set to “I’ll Be Missing You,” commemorating the end of Japan’s Super Sentai series.
  • Notable moment:
    • “Megazords mean so much to me. Cool weapons and teamwork, so in touch with me. Even though you’re gone, I’m still a Ranger forever with Zordon.” – Frank, Tribute Song (32:26–33:26)
  • Receives gentle ribbing from Joe and Ant about rhythm and song structure (35:02–35:21).
• Reflecting on the Power Rangers legacy:
  • The discussion includes Super Sentai trivia, the history of footage reuse, cast tragedies, and a sidebar on a ranger being convicted of murder (36:17–36:56).

5. YouTuber Boxing Matchmaking (37:00–44:48)

• Who would the guys box?

  • Imaginative matches are suggested: Frank vs. Scott the Woz, Joey vs. Shane from Smosh, also Mr. Beast, and random YouTubers.
  • Discussing size differences, willingness to fight, and the money required for a celebrity boxing match.
  • Notable moment:

    “We could get you in the ring with Mr. Beast for 100 GS.” – Joey (40:38)

• Childhood boxing stories:

  • Reminiscing about impromptu boxing matches in the park, and streetwise neighbors with fast hands (44:06–44:48).

6. The Core Topic: Love Languages (47:01–57:00)

• Frank’s love language:
  • “Physical touch and words of affirmation.” (“I like to be reassured...” – Frank, 47:28)
• Ranking the five love languages:
  • Ant’s: “Acts of service,” then “quality time,” “physical touch,” “words of affirmation,” and “receiving gifts.” (51:05–51:09)
  • Joey’s: “Quality time” is #1 (“That is my number one” – Joey, 51:39), followed by “physical touch,” “acts of service,” “words of affirmation,” and “gifts.”
• Debate: Do you like to give and receive love the same way?
  • Frank and Ant discuss whether love languages should refer to giving as well as receiving.
• Exploring the nuance: The guys reflect on what each language means for them, how families and partners differ, and the uniqueness of everyone’s “love seat.”
  • Notable quote:

    “Every ass has a seat, boys. That’s what I learned.” – Frank (56:04)

7. Ceremonial Matcha & Tangents (64:11–74:16)

• Frank brings ceremonial grade matcha:
  • A practical demo with hand-thrown pottery (by Frank), memorable ASMR whisking, and tasting reactions.
  • Notable moment:
    • “It smells like a white person’s ear.” – Joey (70:24)
  • Taste reviews range from “breathing dirt” to “tastes better than it smells” (66:05–71:02).
• Pottery class stories, nostalgia, and black eyes:
  • Frank shares about making bowls, leaving the studio covered in mud; Joe tells of his one true black eye on Valentine’s Day in seventh grade (74:16–75:05).

8. Closing Tangents: Beer, Paintball, and 4 Loko (79:06–84:35)

• Paintball bets and endurance:
  • Frank boasts he could take multiple paintball shots at 41k patrons (“I'll let you guys each shoot me three times with a paintball” – Frank, 77:53), but the conversation devolves into betting logistics.
• “Edward Forty Hands” and drinking nostalgia:
  • The prospects and dangers of taping 40oz beers to their hands, versus “Four Loko hands,” and the evolution of party culture (“40,000 patrons and we'll do it” – Joey, 79:59).
• Reflections on how old they’re all getting and high school memories.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [05:03] Joey: “...if I knew my penis was getting looked at, I would've slapped it around a little bit.”
• [14:16] Frank: “Dicks are like wrestlers. They need to warm up.”
• [32:26] Frank (singing): “Even though you’re gone, I’m still a Ranger forever with Zordon.”
• [47:28] Frank: “I would say it’s physical touch and words of affirmation.”
• [51:39] Joey: “That is my number one [quality time].”
• [56:04] Frank: “Every ass has a seat, boys. That’s what I learned.”
• [70:24] Joey: “It smells like a white person’s ear.”
• [79:59] Joey: “40,000 patrons. Let's figure out if they're affordable.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start Time | |------------------------------------------------|------------| | Dog banter, ringtones, doctor talk | 00:00 | | Joey’s dermatologist story | 03:16 | | Medical gown indignities | 11:16 | | Childhood pantsing story / Dicks need warmup | 13:04 | | “Closest to doctor” debate | 16:13 | | Plane emergency travel story | 20:13 | | In-flight mimosa memories | 25:33 | | Power Rangers tribute & stories | 31:39 | | YouTube boxing matchmaking | 37:00 | | Boxing as kids; speed kills | 44:06 | | Main love language talk | 47:01 | | Love language rankings and debates | 51:01 | | “Every ass has a seat” | 56:04 | | Ceremonial matcha and reactions | 64:11 | | Pottery and black eye stories | 74:16 | | Paintball/Edward Forty Hands/40oz memories | 79:06 | | High school nostalgia | 82:01 |

Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Signature Basement Yard: Unfiltered, raunchy, briskly moving from deeply personal to utterly absurd, all with the genuine camaraderie of close friends.
• Love languages explored through realness: The guys weave humor and honesty into the introspective topic, revealing their soft sides and highlighting differences.
• Nostalgia & Growth: Whether reminiscing about childhood, challenging each other with boxing or paintball, or reflecting on maturing relationships, the episode is equal parts playful and self-aware.
• Memorable shout-outs: Frank’s heartfelt if off-beat Power Rangers tribute stands out as a unique and charming detour.
• With classic tangents: From genital inspection etiquette to matcha taste tests, no subject is off-limits.

For listeners new and old, this episode delivers the familiar, riotous mix of banter, brotherhood, and the occasional poignant moment—making the topic of “What Is Your Love Language?” as entertaining as it is insightful.