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Joe Santagato
Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card. Wreck your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just
Ant Prisco
school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up
Joe Santagato
for the Venmo debit card@venmo.com collegecard. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. select schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at venmo.me stash terms max. $100 cash back per month. Welcome back to the base.
Frank Albert
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank's wearing the merch.
Joe Santagato
Look at that.
Frank Albert
Show it off.
Joe Santagato
Oh, it's not a little dandry.
Frank Albert
It's not. It's not for sale.
Joe Santagato
But it's not. It was. It was. It was, but it's not. So eat your heart out.
Frank Albert
And Frank is actually drinking, counting that.
Joe Santagato
That's the generals.
Frank Albert
But I am one of the. Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You're saying no because it's our shirt.
Frank Albert
You don't have just the.
Joe Santagato
You have one of these shirts or you don't.
Frank Albert
I don't.
Joe Santagato
Why? Can I. Could I. I never asked. Can I ask.
Frank Albert
Sure.
Joe Santagato
Why?
Frank Albert
What's the question?
Joe Santagato
Like, we went on tour. Yeah. And we had. In our second tour, we had a lot of city specific merch.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You famously took none of them. I.
Frank Albert
You took all.
Joe Santagato
Famously took every single thing.
Frank Albert
I took like, two. And then I realized I'm gonna have a stack of these shirts as a memory, but I don't really have space for it. I have a lot of storage in my apartment.
Joe Santagato
You're gonna get to, like, when you purchase your first. Like, I'm going to live in this home. You're gonna get there and have nothing.
Frank Albert
I'll be fine.
Joe Santagato
I mean, like, I know you'll be okay because.
Frank Albert
No, I have. I have things.
Joe Santagato
But, like, you have things. Like, I remember one of the most jarring parts. Parts about going from an apartment to a. A house was like, you get into the house and you're like, oh, I have nothing. Like, you basically furnish two rooms.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Your living room, your bedroom.
Frank Albert
Well, even that. My living room now is much smaller than I plan on. Like, a house living room.
Joe Santagato
That's crazy. This kid's gonna. Yo, please. Like, whenever you go looking for houses, send me the listing so I can see, too. That'd be so sick, dude.
Frank Albert
It's not gonna be for a while, I think.
Joe Santagato
I think it's probably a Lot closer than you realize. Probably like three years. Someone. Someone here is in trouble. Would you do.
Ant Prisco
How do you know it's me? What if it's you?
Frank Albert
It's certainly not me.
Joe Santagato
It's not him. I would have yelled at him already.
Ant Prisco
It's never really him, is it?
Frank Albert
Someone.
Joe Santagato
So. So we did the pastry on episode on patreon.com the basement yard where we tried pastries from that I brought. That you brought. Thank you so much. But Ant forgot to get rid of the milk and left it out.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God.
Ant Prisco
Ew.
Joe Santagato
So I can see it curdled from here.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God. That's disgusting. Lava lamp of.
Joe Santagato
I told Ant he needs to open it and just take a sniff.
Ant Prisco
Why do I have to do that?
Frank Albert
Are you gonna sniff it?
Ant Prisco
All right, if you sniff it first, I'll sniff it.
Joe Santagato
No, you sniff it first and then I'll sniff it second. And then you have to sniff it third. Come on. Solidarity. We're boys. Yeah, but you're.
Ant Prisco
Big prank boy.
Frank Albert
You got a chance.
Joe Santagato
That's why I'm breaking you.
Frank Albert
You do it and let me see your reaction.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah. And then we'll do it for sure.
Joe Santagato
No, you. You're the one that's in trouble.
Ant Prisco
I am promising to do it.
Joe Santagato
Well, then you have to do it first, cuz you got in trouble cuz you were a bad boy.
Frank Albert
No, if he brings it over there, I know he's gonna gag and I'm. It's gonna. It's gonna.
Joe Santagato
I know. That's the best part of it.
Ant Prisco
We'll go in order. It's perfect.
Joe Santagato
That's a good idea. How did I get roped into this? You got roped in. Look, look, look, look, look.
Frank Albert
I used to. I used to.
Joe Santagato
That's a lasso which is made of rope.
Frank Albert
I. This is like my nightmare. When I was younger. I had this thing with milk where I had to smell every. I mean, still to this day, if I were to drink milk. You know, the reason why that's full is because I opened it on the episode and I smelled it and I didn't really enjoy the smell. So I was like, I'm not drinking.
Joe Santagato
And that's when it was good. That's when it was like.
Frank Albert
Yeah. So now I'm like, now we're in
Joe Santagato
a bit of trubby.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I just think that as Ant was the one that left it out, you're the one that's in trouble, so you should be the one to crack it. Sniff it.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, but you brought it over there.
Joe Santagato
That's true. I did.
Ant Prisco
It'll go Frankie, then Joe, and then I'll.
Joe Santagato
What? What? Guarantees that you're gonna do it? Something tells me you're gonna be a little sneaky. Little. I'm not gonna say it because somehow you got roped into me owing you money. If I say the word, how do I know you're not gonna back down and not actually oblige and take a whiff?
Ant Prisco
Well, if he smells it, I'll probably get beat up if I don't smell it.
Joe Santagato
I mean. So then if he doesn't, you're not gonna.
Ant Prisco
No, I didn't say that either.
Joe Santagato
I think that we should.
Frank Albert
I feel like I can see in your face that you're kind of gagging already. A little.
Ant Prisco
It's like. He's like, yo, it's in my tummy a little.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I'm not going to talk about.
Frank Albert
Tell me, dude, you're 30.
Ant Prisco
Stomach, not 30.
Joe Santagato
Tell me it up, baby. He goes to Disney enough. He could still use. Tell me.
Frank Albert
That's fair.
Joe Santagato
I. I won't, like. I won't specify what it was, but we filmed something the other day and I legitimately gagged.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
During someone explaining something.
Frank Albert
Right.
Joe Santagato
And. And like, I was surprised, cuz nor I have a pretty good stomach. I don't. I don't throw up ever. I. I'm like. I could see things that are kind of gross or like, smell things that are kind of gross, and I'm just like, that's gross. In that moment, it legitimately made me gag. And I was like, that was crazy.
Frank Albert
There's your line.
Joe Santagato
That's my line. I guess.
Frank Albert
Let's see if this does the trick. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. You got it.
Joe Santagato
Oh, it's. It's tight. Oh, my God, it's so gross. It's tight, brother.
Frank Albert
Honestly, watching you do this is like, kind of worse for me.
Ant Prisco
It's not gonna blow up, right?
Joe Santagato
People get it. Could you imagine? It exploded in my face?
Frank Albert
I'm not kidding. I'd fucking leave. I'm not.
Joe Santagato
I wouldn't record.
Ant Prisco
Be a short episode.
Joe Santagato
It would be a short episode.
Frank Albert
Give it a stink. Give it a stink.
Joe Santagato
Stink. I don't think that's the word.
Frank Albert
Give it a stink.
Joe Santagato
Should I smell the cap or the whole. Should I go nose the milk?
Ant Prisco
Definitely smell the cap.
Joe Santagato
Okay, here we go.
Ant Prisco
Looks like you ready?
Joe Santagato
How am I doing this first? When you were the one that.
Frank Albert
You love it.
Joe Santagato
You relish in it, Frank. Give it a stink now. I'm literally not doing it. Oh, no, we're all. We're all upset now. You're upset now. The. Look at what you took from them, from the people.
Ant Prisco
You're edging.
Frank Albert
They'll get over it.
Joe Santagato
I'm not edging.
Ant Prisco
You are edging. You're edging.
Joe Santagato
Stop that. I don't like it.
Frank Albert
He's already gone on long enough. It's that bad, huh?
Joe Santagato
It's so bad. I didn't gag. I'll do it again.
Frank Albert
I think you like it.
Ant Prisco
What's going.
Joe Santagato
I promise.
Ant Prisco
Third time. Third time's a charm.
Joe Santagato
I think that's bad.
Ant Prisco
Third time's a charm.
Joe Santagato
All right, I'll third time it up.
Ant Prisco
Third time.
Joe Santagato
You like it?
Frank Albert
Like you.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I definitely don't, but that's the. Don't, Don't. That's touching. This is so disgusting. Yo, what would he do if I had put a firecracker in there and it exploded?
Frank Albert
Hey, man, that'd be the last time you're on this.
Joe Santagato
You, too, Giggles.
Ant Prisco
Why me?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, you're giggly.
Ant Prisco
That's true.
Joe Santagato
Gigglypuff. Over there.
Ant Prisco
That's great. I'm going to use that.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God.
Joe Santagato
I did two. You do, too. No.
Frank Albert
Can I say something? This is so sharp.
Joe Santagato
It. Like. It is. It's like a.
Frank Albert
Through my fucking nasal cavity.
Joe Santagato
What do you think would work better? Smelling salt or that, to wake you up?
Frank Albert
Smelling salt.
Joe Santagato
Okay. All right.
Frank Albert
But also, I would prefer that, because this one's gonna make me, like, projectile vomit out of my sleep.
Ant Prisco
They're designed to. Oh, it's actually coming. It'd be funnier if I didn't do it now.
Joe Santagato
It would, but if you don't do it, you're in bigger trouble.
Ant Prisco
Wow. It looks way more like cheese than I thought.
Frank Albert
Just think of it as like it's barata.
Joe Santagato
How much for you to take a sip? Joey said he'll pay you.
Ant Prisco
No, I can't.
Joe Santagato
I can't.
Frank Albert
I will literally pay you to not take a sip. Okay, No, I won't.
Joe Santagato
Come on, just give it a whiff.
Ant Prisco
Sure.
Frank Albert
Give it a big one. Don't spill it.
Ant Prisco
I'm not going to spill it.
Joe Santagato
Whoa.
Frank Albert
Dude.
Ant Prisco
Dude, it smelled way more like ass than cheese.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Yeah.
Frank Albert
I mean, it smells like a raw foot.
Joe Santagato
Whoa. It smells like if someone dragged their foot through human shit.
Ant Prisco
Well, that was really surprising.
Joe Santagato
One more. Hit it back, hit it back, hit it back.
Frank Albert
No, no, no.
Joe Santagato
Run it back. No, no, don't.
Frank Albert
Don't look at him.
Joe Santagato
He's gonna explode.
Ant Prisco
Thank you.
Joe Santagato
Oh, God.
Frank Albert
God, that's crazy. Wow.
Ant Prisco
That was. I feel like your descriptions weren't as.
Frank Albert
No, to me.
Joe Santagato
It was so sharp.
Frank Albert
Like, it.
Joe Santagato
It was sharp. It was so gross that I felt like I couldn't gag. Is that weird?
Frank Albert
Yes. Okay. I think that it's nasty.
Joe Santagato
Like, now that I'm thinking about it, my stomach hurts.
Frank Albert
That was one of my fears when I was younger. Like, oh, you know what just happened to me recently? Oh, we were on a shoot recently and I had. I had milk and there was ice in it. You know, like. Like, milk gets really cold. There's like little shards of ice. But, like, the first time that I
Joe Santagato
like, you put it down your throat, drank it. Yeah.
Frank Albert
The first time that I ever had milk that had, like a ice chunk in it, I thought it was chunky. Oh. And it just, like, came out of me that didn't throw up, but, like, milk was coming out of my mouth.
Joe Santagato
I am more afraid of raw chicken than I am raw milk. Like, I mean, the raw milk, first of all, not get into that, like, spoiled milk. Spoiled milk. I feel like it's so easy to look at or be around spoiled milk and just go, oh, that's spoiled. I'm not gonna drink this. But, like, you can see like, a piece of seared chicken and then bite into it, and then it's just raw worm in there.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
That is. Like, I saw once, it was a picture that was like. It's years old at this point from, like, Ebomb's World, but it was like, someone took a bite of, like, a chicken sandwich, and it was just in the middle, just a basically cockadoodle do chicken. Like, that gets me to the point where, like. And then I took a food safety class when I worked for Target, and it just terrified me more. Yeah, dude, like, that is crazy.
Frank Albert
I love that, like, every 10 years you get a picture of, like, someone goes to McDonald's, and instead of getting a burger, there's just like a chicken's head. And you're like, how did this.
Joe Santagato
I remember that from, like, Funny junk dot com.
Frank Albert
Yeah, like those.
Joe Santagato
You're dropping crazy bombs and funny. It's just for us. It's so funny dating the boys.
Ant Prisco
Dating yourself a bit. For sure.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I mean, listen, you guys have funny junk. No shot. No shot. They had funny junk.
Ant Prisco
Probably. Probably.
Joe Santagato
I mean, but he was like. When we were looking at it, he was like five years old. So. Yeah, like, funny junk. The last time I went to that website, see if it's still a website.
Frank Albert
Don't look that up. Funny, offensive stuff.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't.
Ant Prisco
I'll do it on my phone.
Joe Santagato
Show it on the screen. Yeah, do it on your phone. But, like, it was like the Ebombs world before Ebomb's World. There was all those websites and they had, like, offensive things on them.
Frank Albert
I feel like you. You could have been like a.
Joe Santagato
A curator.
Frank Albert
No, like. What's the word? Like, like a.
Ant Prisco
Like a.
Frank Albert
Like a Qanon troll. Like, you know, like, if you had, like, a different, like, set of friends, like, I feel like you could. Because you were really into Ebomb's World.
Joe Santagato
I'm really trying to wait until you finish before I get angry about, but, like, because this feels like a backhanded compliment. No, no, no. You would be perfect as, like, a 4chan.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Moderator. Yes. Fuck you.
Ant Prisco
That's what I mean.
Joe Santagato
That sucks. As a thing to say, but, like,
Frank Albert
I think, like, you know, you're like. You like Ebomb's World.
Joe Santagato
I like Spencer's. Like, yeah, Joey, when I was 17 years old. I know.
Frank Albert
That's what I'm saying.
Joe Santagato
Even younger than that. I know.
Frank Albert
That's why I'm saying, like, it could
Joe Santagato
have led to that path, but I'm glad it didn't. Yeah.
Frank Albert
That's all I'm saying. I'm saying there was a. There was a.
Joe Santagato
There was money in that stuff.
Frank Albert
Being a. Being a.
Joe Santagato
Being like a moderator on like, a big Reddit thread or 4chan thread or something like that. 8chan. What? I don't even know which ones there are.
Frank Albert
There's a bunch of chance.
Joe Santagato
The only one I remember is because of the. The documentary they made about QAnon.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And it was like, a person from, like, Thailand or something like that.
Frank Albert
Yeah. I mean, I have no idea whether they make money or not. I'm just terrified.
Joe Santagato
I feel like if. If we didn't go down this route.
Frank Albert
Huh.
Joe Santagato
If you're saying that I would be like a. Like a moderator or something like that, which I'm not more of.
Frank Albert
Like, what I mean is, like, a troll in a way of like, you would almost like a hacker in a way. Like, you'd be like, a troller.
Joe Santagato
The only people that I like one there was. I mean, I love pranks. I do. I love them so much. I feel like I would have gone the route of, like, Jamie Kennedy, like, having a prank show.
Frank Albert
Okay. What I'm picturing is, you know that, like, meme of the face that's like, like the sideways face. Yeah. And it just like, pops up randomly.
Joe Santagato
Like, I Feel like you could have
Frank Albert
went down that road again.
Joe Santagato
This feels like it's an insult.
Frank Albert
No, no, no, I'm saying, like, you like pranks.
Joe Santagato
I do like pranks.
Frank Albert
You liked like Ebaum's World. You frequented chat rooms. Let's not forget that you almost as
Joe Santagato
a 13 year old looking for companionship. Joey.
Frank Albert
Bad place to look, buddy.
Joe Santagato
I was fair. That's true. Don't sit here and point it at me like you didn't do the exact same thing.
Frank Albert
Whoa. Probably not as much as you. I did do it a couple times.
Joe Santagato
I mean, who. Who. How are we to measure the, you know, time spent in a chat room? I mean, it's just. We both did it. Yeah. You know, I remember I used to like, because you remember on aim, when you go to a chat room, like, you'd make one for you and your boys.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And it'd be like, chat room 1-860-43493. I would just take all that away and I just put one and I'd go in there. It was bad.
Frank Albert
And you're like, yo, this is the first chat room.
Joe Santagato
Well, like, it was like a specific one. And then you'd go in there and it was just not healthy. Like, it was like. It was a petri dish of predators, bro.
Frank Albert
It's so weird with the Internet. Like, oh, God, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Not good. I feel like if I do that
Frank Albert
when we were younger, if I.
Joe Santagato
Because we were dumb and the Internet was new and no one was policing it as they were like, what's the.
Frank Albert
What's the reason why when these things pop up, people are like, I'm gonna put my penis on it. You know, like, it's like you get chat roulette. It's like, well, of course, like, you know, it's. It's made. It's almost my penis on it, though. Like, why is that going through people's minds?
Joe Santagato
People. Because they're sick freaks.
Frank Albert
It's insane, dude.
Joe Santagato
They are sick freaks.
Frank Albert
Did you. When Chat rol that first dropped, did you like really get after it on there?
Joe Santagato
No, I went on it a couple times, but, like, I was not showing my penis on there. Let's make that abundantly clear.
Frank Albert
I would hope not.
Joe Santagato
I was going on like, at the time, we were like, maybe what, like, 18 or 19 when it came out.
Frank Albert
Yeah, maybe a little younger.
Joe Santagato
Maybe look up when chat roulette came out. But like, we'd go on there and be like, you hope to see like a group of girls.
Frank Albert
And then like, yeah, that ain't happening.
Joe Santagato
It Didn't. It didn't. That was, that, that was quickly ru. Ruined by the creeps and pervs on the Internet.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, it was released November 2009, but I don't know if it turned into what it was in a couple years, you know what I mean?
Joe Santagato
I mean, it was definitely 2010, 2011,
Ant Prisco
so, so, yeah, around that time.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
I mean, it was a tough year.
Joe Santagato
You ever see the clip of someone like, it's like Kermit the Frog, and it's Kermit the Frog, and it's not really Kermit the Frog, but it's someone pretending to be Kermit the Frog with like a dollar. And he's like, hey, how you doing? And there's like, oh, my God, Kermit. Hey, how are you? And he's like, yeah, fuck, think about this. And he holds up like a green cucumber. Looks like he's like, Kermit. He's like, yeah, no. What do you think, whore? Yeah. Yeah.
Frank Albert
No. Just ruining our childhood. One, one thing at a time.
Joe Santagato
We were probably victims of predators at some point
Frank Albert
for sure.
Joe Santagato
I know I was.
Frank Albert
I mean, I know I was too.
Joe Santagato
I definitely know.
Frank Albert
I tell the infamous story about Tiffany
Joe Santagato
diamond and mine was, hey, it's me, 12303.
Frank Albert
Yeah, that one was. See, that one was a little different. You know, there was a woman with large breasts sending probably 14, 13 year old me messages on MySpace and I'm like, she loves me.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, Tiffany diamond, you should, that immediately should have rang a bell. Like 12, though. Yeah, but like, you're not a completed unit.
Frank Albert
I saw giant boobs and I was like, I think that she thinks I'm hot. I was 12.
Joe Santagato
She asked for ASL and you. And what did you say? I don't really give 12.
Frank Albert
I didn't give any information. It just. My mom saw it.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
She wasn't happy.
Joe Santagato
No.
Frank Albert
Because she saw the news.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
Then I was like, that doesn't happen.
Joe Santagato
And then it was, it was happening at the time had was was going to happen, you know, like it was a thing.
Frank Albert
She never got anything out of me. Don't worry.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Like all these people. Like, I never, like, sent anything to me, you know, like, I never, like, told him my real name or, like, like how to find me or anything like that. Because that would have been a problem. What was the deal with the hates me? 1, 2, 3. Like, was it a guy? I don't know what it was. I, I, I, I had no idea at this point. Like, it could have Been anything, anyone. And you've never heard this story, right?
Ant Prisco
I don't believe so.
Frank Albert
We.
Joe Santagato
We would for, like on. On aol Instant messenger, better known as aim. Did you have a screen name?
Ant Prisco
I don't remember.
Joe Santagato
Oh, bro, you're a liar. Wait, you don't have it?
Frank Albert
Yo, that's crazy to me that there's people that haven't had screen names.
Ant Prisco
No, I definitely did. I just. I literally. I just don't remember.
Joe Santagato
He's a liar. That means it was like, my is huge. My balls are bigger.
Frank Albert
Yeah. Pounding Prisco129.
Ant Prisco
Might have been 10. Yeah, might have been 10.
Frank Albert
What does that mean? When I was 10 years old, I was probably.
Joe Santagato
When it was. When I was 10 years old, I probably had the biggest balls on the planet, dude.
Frank Albert
What? That's not where I was going.
Joe Santagato
I know. I'm saying, like, that's what people said. It was like, that's what I'm saying. Look.
Ant Prisco
Oh, Aunt Pre.
Joe Santagato
Oh, see, this sucks, dude. Why not just give them your social? Be creative. Which is what, Aunt Pre?
Ant Prisco
Or was it Cool War at the time?
Joe Santagato
Cool War. Cool War first. What's cool about war? What wars have been cooler than others? The Cold War. Cold one, but that was a.
Ant Prisco
It was the coldest of ones.
Joe Santagato
But what was what's Cool War?
Ant Prisco
The one right before that, maybe?
Frank Albert
No, no, before you made the screening.
Joe Santagato
What is it about?
Ant Prisco
Oh, because my full name on Xbox was Cool War Monger.
Joe Santagato
Well, there's a war starting outside if you can't.
Ant Prisco
We're rumbling.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, you're. You're Cool War Monger. Who the are you?
Frank Albert
Yeah, I don't know.
Joe Santagato
That must have been one of those autogenerated ones that, like, Xbox would give you when you would first sign in, like, hey, why don't you be like, tomato rocks? 18, you know, tomato rocks.
Ant Prisco
Pretty accurate, I like that, actually.
Joe Santagato
But it was. I went into a chat room, and those chat rooms were all like, asl. Asl. Asl, which stands for.
Ant Prisco
Is that like a disease?
Joe Santagato
That's als. It's als. I mean, he's. He's on something. He's not. He's not. Far from it. Oh, man. But, yeah, everyone was going in to see if anyone had als.
Frank Albert
Age, sex, location. Yeah. So you say your age slash, your sex slash. Where are you at? Yeah, so I'm in there. I'm 13 m. NY. You know what I mean? 13 years old, male, from New York.
Ant Prisco
Got it.
Joe Santagato
So, but then, like, someone, if they, like, saw you and wanted to talk with you, they'd message you on the side. And I got a message from, hey, it's me, 12303. And they were, like, trying to court me and, like, ask for me to, like, send pictures and, like, of your butt. I don't remember what they were specifically asking pictures for at this point. Maybe in other times I'm talking about this. I remember. But I do remember very specifically. They. They asked me to, like, hey, finger yourself. Forgot about. And my response. My response to them was, where? Where? You know, but let this be very clear, because this is not a Patreon episode, which I just realized.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Internet predators are really serious and dangerous. Yeah. Yeah, dude. So, like, it can happen to anyone, even when you think it's not happening. So be very alert. Stay off the Internet. It happened to your favorite podcaster, dude. Yeah, dude, I was.
Frank Albert
Oh, man.
Joe Santagato
But it was so, like, it was that person, like, anytime they would sign on, they would message me.
Ant Prisco
That's disgusting. Hey, did you do it yet?
Joe Santagato
Like, I'm sure it was something sexual.
Frank Albert
Just following up.
Ant Prisco
Got it.
Joe Santagato
Just.
Ant Prisco
Just making sure it was.
Joe Santagato
It was circling back. It was gross. Circling around.
Frank Albert
Yeah. Disgusting. Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Really gross.
Frank Albert
And we don't suggest anyone do any sort of thing.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, especially, like, I'm not gonna start naming names, but there are, like, certain places now where predators are known to hang out and target people. And like, online I'm gonna start dropping names of places or games or something. But it's a very serious thing. Like, I don't want to be making light of something. Like, it was funny that it happened to me because, like, it was like, at the beginning of when this stuff started happening. And as a kid, I didn't know, but, like, now we have the tools to know this.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And protect our loved ones against it. So, like, very serious. Especially people are sick out there.
Frank Albert
We started with Spoiled Milk and here we are. Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Now we're at Spoiled Milk. I guess there's no way to make that work.
Frank Albert
Speaking of milk, though, did you see the RFK Jr. And Kid Rock video?
Joe Santagato
Oh, my God.
Frank Albert
I gotta say, for. For Kid Rock, who has thrown out some anti gay slurs before, that is
Joe Santagato
quite a gay video. Dude, that's. We're not gonna get into the politics of it all because that's not what this show is.
Frank Albert
I'm down to do that too.
Joe Santagato
I mean, full screen this bitch.
Ant Prisco
Oh, sure. The only thing I'm gonna need you guys to do is just tell me when to pause.
Joe Santagato
Yes.
Ant Prisco
I'm not gonna know.
Joe Santagato
Of course. Full screen. It. So hold on. Before we even start, let me tee it up a little bit.
Frank Albert
Let's just say one thing. What's with the jeans?
Joe Santagato
I mean, RFK doesn't take the jeans. We'll get into that as the video goes, as someone that has seen this. So for those of you guys that aren't from America and don't know luckily who these people are, RFK Jr. Robert Francis Kennedy Jr. Is like the Secretary of Health or something like. That guy's in great shape. I'm not going to take that away from him. But has said in tons of questionable things and made suggestions about ways of being healthy. Kid Rock not a shining example of American male health. Let me just say that I. I. No one. I have never looked at Kid Rock and just gone. I wonder what his workout routine is.
Frank Albert
But outside, his lungs are clear.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, he looks like he survived on cocaine, cigarettes, and Jack Daniels for the last 25 years. But they posted this as like a, like, motivational get up and get moving.
Frank Albert
I don't even know what it's. What is it? Because it's like the whole milk part was just so weird. Listen, play it and we'll just like, kind of. I don't want to play the whole thing through.
Joe Santagato
So you have RFK Jr. On the left, Kid Rock on the right.
Ant Prisco
Just play it. Just play it.
Joe Santagato
Okay, we'll start. We'll just start. It's. It's a minute and a half long. Secretary Kennedy and Kid rocks Rock out workout. Pause it, please. Let's start with this.
Frank Albert
We're never getting through this.
Joe Santagato
It's okay, baby. We got a show here. They got me with the image of the eagle, the bear, and the great white shark.
Ant Prisco
Really?
Joe Santagato
I love those things, those animals. Okay, those are cool animals.
Frank Albert
They're too easy, dude.
Ant Prisco
But.
Joe Santagato
But calling it the rock out workout,
Frank Albert
I just don't get what the point of this is.
Ant Prisco
Just play it. I got you. I got you.
Frank Albert
And it's like he's cheering.
Joe Santagato
He's like cheering him on. Like, let's go work out. And then he's taking his shirt off, which no one has ever asked him to do, and then he's serving food. Okay, throw. Wait, wait, hold on. Go back. Did he take his shirt off and have another shirt under it?
Frank Albert
What?
Ant Prisco
No, I don't think so.
Frank Albert
Who are you talking about?
Joe Santagato
Kid Rock. No, it looks like he was wearing another. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Oh, it was like a sweater. And he had a little shirt underneath.
Frank Albert
Yeah. Okay, now he's just doing zero resistance workouts.
Joe Santagato
Also bad form. You're gonna hurt your neck there, my friend.
Frank Albert
But yeah, it's like a workout video. Can we just, like, skip to the.
Joe Santagato
Here we go. Now we're talking.
Frank Albert
Oh, and then also, this is great. The assault bike in the. The sauna.
Joe Santagato
And then also, at a certain point,
Frank Albert
he jumps into the cold plunge fully in jeans.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Let's pause here. Oh. Oh, well, now we know it's. It's the cold plunge because the ice came in on the. On the screen.
Frank Albert
Why isn't he. Why is he wearing jeans?
Joe Santagato
You're. I know you have not watched Arrested Development, but there's a character on that show that's a never nude, and he wears jean cutoffs everywhere all the time. And, like, is afraid to be nude. And people are saying that RFK Jr might be a never nude.
Frank Albert
I mean, I just. It's very confusing that he's doing this. But then at one point during this video, they're in a hot tub together, and then it says whole milk in, like, drippy.
Joe Santagato
I mean, you don't need it. You don't need to spoil it. Well, we'll get there.
Ant Prisco
We could.
Joe Santagato
We could skip to it if you had.
Ant Prisco
Well, first he jumps into the pool with more jeans. And then.
Frank Albert
Yeah, yeah, he's got.
Joe Santagato
Also got out of the cold plunge.
Frank Albert
Yeah. And now it's like whole milk. And they drink whole milk with the drippy.
Joe Santagato
Like, what?
Ant Prisco
Like, what.
Joe Santagato
What.
Frank Albert
What is that whole thing about?
Joe Santagato
Like, what is it about? I think, like, there are people that are saying that, like, we have moved away from whole milk as a healthy drink.
Frank Albert
Not you.
Joe Santagato
I love whole milk. I'll. You love whole milk. I'll tell you this. This does more damage to my whole milk appreciation than anything else.
Frank Albert
So maybe it's working.
Joe Santagato
This is like. You know what it is. There it is. Take another whiff.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God, please stop that milk.
Joe Santagato
That was, like, the closest thing we'll get to, like, a hyper right wing heated rivalry. Like, guys.
Frank Albert
That's what that is.
Joe Santagato
Guys, just. Just kiss. Yeah. I don't know. It's just kiss. No one's gonna. Like, we'll be, like, accepting. I promise. I mean, you might have said some things that maybe people will give you a little flack for a little bit. Like me. No, not you. Kid Rock. Oh, Kid Rock.
Frank Albert
Yeah, he has.
Joe Santagato
But, like, guys, if you want to kiss, like, well, I'll accept you. I think you will too. And questionable.
Frank Albert
I just feel like it's like a weird video. I just don't know what it. What it means. Like, it's like, let's. We're going to work out, and then we're going to drink whole milk in a hot tub.
Joe Santagato
What?
Frank Albert
Well, like, what are we doing?
Joe Santagato
Is that not the. I assume the idea of that is to get up and work out, be more active. Is it? I'm going to ask you a question. You watch that? Does that make you excited to work out?
Frank Albert
No, it's. I'm confused.
Joe Santagato
What if I told you that it wasn't in this video? That because we don't want to get in trouble and owe money to Kid Rock. What if I told you that the whole thing was underscored by the song ba with the bar?
Frank Albert
Yeah, I did hear that. That doesn't.
Joe Santagato
That.
Frank Albert
If anything, that just makes it more confusing for me. And it's just like. It's so funny. The edit is so funny to me because it's just like the typical, like, America thing. It's like eagles, bears the flag, whole milk.
Joe Santagato
Like, what.
Frank Albert
What are we attaching?
Joe Santagato
I am just as confused by that as I am. The several pairs of blue jeans that he works out in.
Frank Albert
I think that was one pair of jeans that was wet, then in the sauna, and then back to wet again.
Ant Prisco
To be fair. Don't you kind of resonate with that a little bit?
Frank Albert
You were in there full jeans.
Joe Santagato
You see that point, by the way? I did, yeah. You know, you saw it.
Frank Albert
You're in full gas.
Joe Santagato
I'm never. I have never once worked out in jeans. However, I think now for experimenting, maybe. Maybe we have to give it a shot.
Frank Albert
Maybe we need to wearing wet jeans.
Joe Santagato
I mean, they were working out legs like they were. They were also doing plenty of. That'll work some back and shoulders in there. You know, the blue jeans.
Frank Albert
Sitting in a car at one point,
Joe Santagato
like, what is this video? The blue jeans of it all is the most confusing because this is the type of, like, propaganda that does work for a very select group of people in this country. Blue jeans, like, the whole, like, holding up a flag in front of a Statue of Lady Liberty in your home.
Frank Albert
Was that who that was?
Joe Santagato
That was the Statue of Liberty.
Frank Albert
Oh, was it?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
My God.
Joe Santagato
Like, and then working out in blue, like. Like working out in my blue jeans. Like, that does work for people.
Frank Albert
I don't know if I've ever had wet jeans on.
Joe Santagato
Oh, that's a good. I know I have because, like, I have put on, like, not jeans. I guess they're kind of like work pants over, like, sweatpants to go in the snow. Okay, so, like, Those get wet.
Frank Albert
Why not wear snow pants?
Joe Santagato
Because I don't own any.
Frank Albert
You don't have snow pants?
Joe Santagato
Nope. Why? Because I don't snows every year, though. Yeah. Not enough to justify wearing pants one day a year.
Frank Albert
Just one pair of pants.
Joe Santagato
I don't care enough for snow pants. Like, it makes sense because you go skiing and snowboarding. Yeah, that makes sense. To have snow pants. It makes zero sense for me to have snow pants.
Frank Albert
I wouldn't say zero.
Joe Santagato
Zero. Okay.
Ant Prisco
Never had a full drink spilt in your lap wearing jeans. I've had it goes right through.
Frank Albert
I have.
Joe Santagato
I think, yeah. I have been. I had a wet penis all the way through. I have. I have been caught.
Frank Albert
Whoa.
Joe Santagato
In, like, the rain in jeans. And, like, the thighs get very wet.
Frank Albert
That's like the most uncomfortable feeling. Like I've got caught in the rain in jeans and I'm like, yeah, so uncomfortable. I can't imagine being completely wet. What are you talking about? That was like a very specific. They had a pina colada just pull. Poured right through your jeans or something.
Ant Prisco
Just a cocktail or a beer. Just went. It just went right through.
Joe Santagato
Do you have anything like.
Ant Prisco
They landed on top, but you felt it in the back. You know what I mean?
Frank Albert
Someone spilled a drink on your penis and you felt it in your ass.
Joe Santagato
Actually, I could relate to that. It was like you're, like, sitting in it. Yeah, yeah.
Ant Prisco
It went right, Right through the whole thing.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I think I've had that experience as well.
Frank Albert
You gotta buy better jeans then.
Joe Santagato
That's such a. I mean. No, no, he's right. Jeans are. Denim is very porous and absorbent. So I, I, I, I feel your pain. I have felt it. I'm currently feeling it. Thinking back on it.
Ant Prisco
I appreciate you feeling it. Whoa.
Joe Santagato
See what he did?
Frank Albert
I mean, I feel like you set him up for that.
Joe Santagato
To be fair, I. Is there a reality where we film a rebuttal? One? You and I film a, like, rock Out Workout Basement yard edition, and it's us at the gym. You could be in jeans. I could be Kid Rock.
Frank Albert
You want to be Kid Rock?
Joe Santagato
I don't want to be. But if someone has to be, I'll
Frank Albert
take that bullet doing push.
Joe Santagato
Take that bullet. And then we.
Frank Albert
When we jump into the hot tub, what are we drinking?
Joe Santagato
Whole milk, brother.
Frank Albert
Oh.
Joe Santagato
What do you think?
Frank Albert
We're just going to remake it?
Joe Santagato
I think we should do our version of it.
Frank Albert
Right. So that's what we wouldn't drink.
Ant Prisco
Oh, you guys would do, like, chocolate milk.
Frank Albert
Why would we Drink chocolate?
Ant Prisco
I don't know. Because it's the opposite of them trying to be healthy. Milk, Right? Isn't this the thing?
Frank Albert
I don't know.
Joe Santagato
I don't even know what you're saying.
Frank Albert
Confusing.
Joe Santagato
It is.
Frank Albert
I mean, it's a very confusing drink.
Ant Prisco
Kool Aid. Like a fruit punch or something now?
Frank Albert
I haven't had fruit punch. We're talking.
Joe Santagato
I do have a thing of Kool Aid at my house. When was. What?
Frank Albert
You have Kool Aid?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
Oh, shit.
Joe Santagato
You want it? No. All right.
Frank Albert
But, I mean, it makes sense.
Joe Santagato
You have children.
Frank Albert
What am I gonna do with it?
Joe Santagato
I mean, we have it. We haven't opened it yet.
Frank Albert
When was the last time you had a Hawaiian Punch?
Joe Santagato
Oh, too long, brother. Which I've never been to Hawaii. Something tells me that's not Hawaiian. Like, punch, like, real Hawaiian Punch is probably not that color.
Frank Albert
I don't think that's.
Ant Prisco
Like, Dr. Pepper should only be working on peppers. Like.
Joe Santagato
No, but, like, Dr. Pepper has. It's like, it's spicy because it's cinnamon in there. But, like, Hawaiian Punched is just in the name. Like, I'm sure if you went to Hawaii and you were like, where's the Hawaiian Punch? They'd hit you.
Frank Albert
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Because I think we're all under the assumption that it's just not. It's not actually, like, Hawaiian.
Joe Santagato
Yes, I know. I. It's been a while. I will tell you this. Here you go. Rank these and it could be any flavor you want. Whatever the best flavor is of these three drinks, huh? Kool Aid.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Hawaiian Punch. Capri Sun. Hi. C. Go.
Frank Albert
What was it again? Oh, Kool Aid's number one.
Joe Santagato
Cool. Kool Aid number one.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And what's your, like, flavor?
Frank Albert
The coolers. The cooler. The jammers.
Joe Santagato
Oh, the one. Yeah. The one that came in the plastic bottle.
Frank Albert
Yeah. And it looks like a spaceship Stuff Looks like a spaceship or that, too.
Joe Santagato
It does.
Ant Prisco
Hawaiian Punch is not made in Hawaii.
Frank Albert
No, Sherlock.
Ant Prisco
All right.
Frank Albert
I mean, you're the one just. Just output Kool Aid first.
Joe Santagato
Probably Capri sun second. Capri sun is up there. I don't like when they try to put Kool Aid in the pouches. Like, the Pouch. Pouch game was a Capri sun game.
Frank Albert
Yeah, that's it.
Joe Santagato
Respect. Respect that. They established that.
Frank Albert
Then High C. Okay. Hawaiian Punch. What was the other one? Was that the last one?
Joe Santagato
Hawaiian Punch, Kool Aid, High C and Capri Sun.
Frank Albert
Yeah. Yeah. I put a Hawaiian Punch last.
Joe Santagato
Really?
Frank Albert
It's good, but, like, it also Like I, I don't know if this is true or not, but I feel like it can't get cold.
Joe Santagato
Wow, that's an astute observation.
Frank Albert
Like I don't, I've never had that. And be like, oh, this is cold.
Joe Santagato
Like never cold. I don't think I've ever had cold versions of any of those drinks. Can you look that up?
Frank Albert
Actually, cuz I wonder if that's an actual thing because I've like tested that before and be like, I don't know if I can get this cold cuz I put it in my.
Joe Santagato
Because it comes in. In a 30 gallon jug. You have to keep it in the fridge for four weeks for it to get even remotely.
Ant Prisco
You want me to look up if the liquid drink Hawaiian Punch can get cold?
Frank Albert
Yes.
Ant Prisco
Okay, just make. I'm just making sure.
Joe Santagato
Do your job. I have a theory that it can't.
Ant Prisco
The question I, I would write here is can Hawaiian Punch get cold? Yeah. Okay.
Joe Santagato
I think it's an. I think it's a great question and I don't like the judgment he's using.
Ant Prisco
I'm just, I'm just clarifying.
Joe Santagato
I will tell you this. I. If it is a top search.
Ant Prisco
Sorry to inter.
Joe Santagato
Is it?
Ant Prisco
But yes, Hawaiian Punch gets cold when refrigerated or placed over ice.
Joe Santagato
I don't believe you don't drink any of that shit with ice.
Frank Albert
If other people are asking that there's something.
Ant Prisco
There is.
Joe Santagato
You drink it out of either a cardboard box or a reflective plastic pouch.
Ant Prisco
Wait a minute. It does say the high sugar content acts as an antifreeze, meaning it requires lower temperatures than water to reach freezing state. So technically.
Frank Albert
I knew it.
Ant Prisco
The threshold of being cold is lower, bro.
Frank Albert
I'm pretty sure that if you put Hawaiian Punch in the freezer, it wouldn't freeze like vodka.
Joe Santagato
Well, I think, I think if your freezer is set to 32, it might not. But if your freezer is set to like minus two, like most are, then yeah, it'll probably freeze.
Frank Albert
I don't know, dude.
Ant Prisco
I, I'd give you like I'll say 40%.
Joe Santagato
I have theory. It's a theory. And that's a, that is such a great point to also piggyback off that. I've never had a warm Yoo Hoo. Every Yoo who I have had, I've had it. Really?
Frank Albert
I mean, they're on the floor. That was a stupid way of saying what I wanted to say.
Joe Santagato
That was a very stupid way of saying that. I meant like, hold on. How are you drinking your uh, that's very dumb. Those.
Frank Albert
I missed all the context. My. At my mom's house, she would buy drinks like that that come in like cases or whatever and she would have them on the floor near the back
Joe Santagato
door and I would just drink them like that. They're on the floor as if that was like oh, okay.
Frank Albert
My point is like they're not stored
Joe Santagato
cold but like cans. I remember our friend always had, oh,
Frank Albert
the cans are freezing.
Joe Santagato
That was basically like beer for an eight year old. Yeah, because like you'd crack it. And like
Frank Albert
real quick, we have sponsors, but not Yoohoo.
Joe Santagato
Not one of them. Not one of them.
Frank Albert
But we are going to bring that right back up. We have Squarespace. Okay. Squarespace is a platform where you're going to build your website with it. Okay? They have a bunch of templates that are going to help you out and build your website. If you make content or you have an E commerce business or any sort of retail business or anything online, you're going to need a professional looking website. It is your first impression if people come to your website and it doesn't look too good, they don't trust you as much. They're way less likely to check out and buy your product. So put the effort into your, into your website and Squarespace is going to make it very easy. They have a bunch of tools that are also going to optimize all your traffic. Every single landing page that we create is with Squarespace. They are the best one. So if I were to create one today, I'm going right to Squarespace and, and you should too. And when you're going to do that, you should go to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement. Okay? So go to squarespace.com basement and save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain when you use that code basement. Okay? And then we also have ZocDoc. All right. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality network doctors so you can find someone you love. I recently used Zoc Doc because I, I thought I found like something on my body that I didn't like. So I, I had to go to a dermatologist and I like needed to find one that day and I booked an appointment. I went on zocdoc, I put in my insurance and then I found one in my, in my neighborhood close to me and they had availability that afternoon. So I went straight there. I'M fine. Went to the dermatologist. We kind of talk about this. He saw, he saw something. But, but I'm all good. But just letting you know, that's how ZocDoc works. So I've been using them for a while now and now they're a sponsor on the show. It's great. So I could tell you from experience I am using it. So go check them out. Stop putting off your doctor's appointments. Go to ZocDoc.com basement to find an instantly book a doctor you love today. And I also forgot to mention that they are patient reviewed. So if you have a good experience, you review them. I think it started out of five, so I was like, let me find someone who's at least like a 4.8, 4.9 here. And I went to him and it was great. So go to Zocdoc.com basement today to. Yeah. So thank you for Socket for sponsoring the show.
Joe Santagato
Beautiful. Also, you know what's a beautiful sponsor of the show? Us. We sponsor our own show, so we're gonna name the sponsor right now. Sorry, I, I, I, I got caught off guard. Patreon.com basement let's start again. Me and you. Go to patreon.com sorry. Go to patreon.com the basementyard and a gander. We got a lot going on there.
Ant Prisco
What's a lot?
Joe Santagato
By the mean, there's different tiers, baby. That first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Oh, it's like a beautiful massage on your back. That's that you wanted for and asked for. It's consensual. And also that second tier, well, then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday where you get more of us so you can get more of the basement yarn. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basementyard thank you guys for getting us over 40,000 paid patrons. As a result, we're scheduling doing some cool episodes, some cool stuff for you guys. So keep an eye out. And if you're joining Patreon and you've never been a patron before or you dipped out for a couple months, save money, whatever. I understand. We understand. Joe doesn't. He hates it. Any backlog episodes you can watch hundreds of hours of episodes right there, available at your fingertips to join you for whatever you want to do, whether it be taking long drives, going to gym, hanging out, whatever. So. Patreon.com the Basementyard and if you want to try to save yourself a couple extra bucks while you're doing it, do it on a web browser. Okay. If you use the app, you're going to have to pay our tech overlords a little extra money so they upcharge you. So if you go to a web browser and you go to patreon.com the base vineyard, you sign up there, you'll save yourself some money and you'll get more of us. We love you, we thank you, we appreciate you. And that's it. That's all I got.
Frank Albert
Check it out.
Joe Santagato
So what were we saying?
Frank Albert
I was talking about Yoohoo and how much I've drank of that. I. In high school, I would get it every single morning.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I. I four years of
Frank Albert
Yoohoo, you know what kind of damage I've done to my body?
Joe Santagato
From like 8th until 10th grade, every morning my breakfast was a can of Coca Cola and a blt. Like it. We were not.
Frank Albert
Well, you have Coca Cola for breakfast?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. What has more sugar? A can of Yoohoo or a can of Coca Cola?
Frank Albert
Couldn't tell you.
Ant Prisco
Probably Coca Cola.
Joe Santagato
I would say Coca Cola, but it might not. The margin might be slimmer.
Frank Albert
I feel like they're both bad.
Joe Santagato
They're both like equally like Coca Cola is like, like 35 milligrams. Where yoo who might be in like low twenties. Low to mid twenties. I know, like a can of Coca Cola.
Ant Prisco
Coca Cola is 39 grams of sugar.
Frank Albert
Holy moly.
Ant Prisco
Yoo who is 33.
Frank Albert
Holy moly again.
Joe Santagato
So who's. Who's who?
Frank Albert
Yeah, you know.
Ant Prisco
Did you know that yoohoo has no milk in it?
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. They can't call it chocolate milk. It's like chocolatey drink.
Frank Albert
Chocolate drink. Yeah, it's weird.
Ant Prisco
That tripped me out.
Frank Albert
I'm okay with it.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I'm not, I'm not looking to have it to like supplement my milk intake.
Frank Albert
You know what I. You know what I did once? I put it was a glass bottle of Yoohoo too. And I would put it in a bowl and then I put cereal in it.
Joe Santagato
Oh yeah, duh.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Like I think of like Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs or something. Yeah. I was not a big chocolatey cereal kid, but I could see why that would. But you could also just do regular milk, bro.
Frank Albert
What I would do to a cocoa pebble right now. A fruity pebble, bro. You get a fruity pebble in front of me, I'll show you something.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I'm down for some Fruity Pebbles. And can you make it happen?
Ant Prisco
A multiple cereal taste test episode is
Joe Santagato
that door dash right now?
Frank Albert
Don't do this.
Joe Santagato
A half gallon of whole milk.
Ant Prisco
Can't.
Joe Santagato
We can't get more milk and a bowl and some Fruity Pebbles, so we can have some Fruity Pebbles in here.
Frank Albert
I want to put my tongue through an apple Jack. Oh, I don't. Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm not going to touch that one.
Frank Albert
You know it, though. You want to do it, too.
Joe Santagato
Not through an Apple Jack.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I love. Call me a sadist. Is that the one that loves pain?
Frank Albert
Masochist. That's it.
Joe Santagato
I think sadists, like, like, evil or something like that. But, like, I used to love putting a Crunchberry between my tongue and the roof of my mouth and crushing it, and then it would just shred the top of my mouth like a cheese grater.
Frank Albert
I know you're gonna make fun of me, but let me get it out first.
Joe Santagato
The.
Frank Albert
The honeycomb.
Joe Santagato
I know you would suck through it all the time.
Frank Albert
Did I just say. What did I just say?
Ant Prisco
Hello.
Frank Albert
Call my therapist.
Joe Santagato
I knew it.
Frank Albert
I like sucking it and making it crush and making it flat.
Joe Santagato
Real flat. Like those videos of, like, people putting things into, like, vacuums and then they, like, cut all the oxygen out and then just.
Frank Albert
I have no idea what.
Joe Santagato
You just seen those. What is he talking about?
Frank Albert
I thought you were talking about the hydraulic machine that, like, crushes stuff.
Joe Santagato
What do you think is, by serving size, the most unhealthy? Like, sugary cereal. I imagine it's gotta be fruity. No Fruit Loops.
Ant Prisco
I. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's Frosted Flakes.
Joe Santagato
Get the way. Dude, no. I've convinced myself. No, for worse or better, that Frosted Flakes is, like, healthy adjacent.
Ant Prisco
Dude, it's so good.
Joe Santagato
It's flakes. It's Corn Flakes. It's Corn Flakes. But it's like, it ain't fucking. But it ain't.
Frank Albert
But it ain't the other ones, dude.
Joe Santagato
Like, it's got to be Froot Loops.
Frank Albert
Cinnamon Toast Crunch has to be worse
Joe Santagato
than Frosted Flakes because you're getting. You're getting a thing of Froot Loops that is just every color that is not natural.
Frank Albert
I saw this thing that a. One of the cheesecakes. It's their most, like, calorically dense cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory up against other stuff. It's like a Reese's Pieces cheesecake whatever whatever. It's 1500 calories for a slice.
Joe Santagato
What? That's bad.
Frank Albert
But it's bananas.
Joe Santagato
I'm gonna eat it.
Frank Albert
Yeah. I mean, it's probably delicious.
Joe Santagato
I imagine that it's got to be Froot Loops at the top. It's so tough because I think, like, Fruity Pebbles, but. Ah, yeah. Why don't you look this up? This is very easy.
Ant Prisco
I know I am. I'm trying here.
Joe Santagato
Just pull up, like, the nutrition facts on, like, the heavy hitters.
Ant Prisco
We got Cereal crunch time. Honey Crunch with nuts. Does anybody know that? Cole's Honey Crunch with Nuts. Anybody heard of that?
Joe Santagato
If you think I am going into a grocery store and I'm picking out Honey Crunches with nuts, I hope you take a gun and shoot me in the face.
Ant Prisco
Well, it's saying that by weight, that's 42% sugar. Yeah. And Frosted Flakes is 41 sugar in that. No, like the bag.
Joe Santagato
I mean, he's saying by weight, though. A corn. A Corn Flake is like papyrus, so of course it's going to be heavier because of the amount of sugar that's caked on.
Frank Albert
I'll tell you what my favorite bowl of Frosted Flakes is when you get to the end and then you just dump a bunch of that dust in there.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God.
Joe Santagato
I'm not looking for by weight. What the amount of sugar is. How is this hard? How are you not just looking up Frosted Flake sugar?
Ant Prisco
I'm trying to get a bunch of cereals.
Joe Santagato
Just get the one.
Frank Albert
How much sugar is in. Is there more sugar in a Coca Cola?
Joe Santagato
I mean, to his defense, he needs to find, like, of comparable serving sizes. So, like, if a serving size for this one is a third of a cup and that one it's a half a cup.
Frank Albert
Like, they're all. It's cereal. It should be the same.
Joe Santagato
No different. They. You can quantify what a serving size is. Like yourself. It doesn't need.
Ant Prisco
Okay, so I got a bunch of cereals serving size of 30 grams and their sugar content.
Joe Santagato
This guy's going by grams. Where the.
Ant Prisco
I believe it's a bowl. I believe it's.
Joe Santagato
We're in a good old. You didn't see that RFK Kid Rock video we wanted in Fahrenheit.
Ant Prisco
From what it looks like here. Frosted Mini Weeks. Mini Weeks, Frosted Mini Wheats and Captain Crunch are the highest.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
At 15.7 grams of sugar. Whoa.
Frank Albert
Frosted Mini Wheats.
Joe Santagato
I again convinced myself that those are healthy, too.
Frank Albert
I like when I get a double. Oh.
Joe Santagato
Or when you get one that is just covered. Just the house is painted with this.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Blizzard. I'm talking like four coats of paint on this bastard.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God, I love it.
Joe Santagato
And then you get one that's, like, nothing on it. Yeah. Why do I feel like I'm from Kansas or Kentucky?
Frank Albert
I'm eating hay. What am I, horse?
Joe Santagato
Get the out of here, Dorothy.
Frank Albert
Wait, that one has a lot of sugar in it.
Joe Santagato
Yep.
Ant Prisco
Captain Crunch and Frosted Mini weights. Very high top two. They're tied.
Joe Santagato
Captain Crunch, I. Captain Crunch.
Ant Prisco
I get.
Frank Albert
I mean, there's nothing real about that.
Joe Santagato
No, I. I would get it if it was. Oops. All berries, which is the superior version.
Frank Albert
Frank. Those are all dyed anyway.
Joe Santagato
I know, but I'm saying, like, Captain Crunch. Like Captain Crunch without Crunch. Berries is just those little yellow puffs.
Frank Albert
Yeah, but those are dyed.
Joe Santagato
Really?
Frank Albert
Yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Like a piece of corn.
Frank Albert
You're right, you're right, you're right, you're
Joe Santagato
right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Frank Albert
What else we got? What the hell is the Frosted Flakes? Before I cut my own head off
Joe Santagato
at the neck, I am a little disappointed with Frosted Flakes. I really thought Tony the Tiger was saying they're great in terms of how they were for you.
Ant Prisco
Frosted flakes is 10.3 grams of sugar per.
Joe Santagato
My God, that's nothing. But what's the serving size?
Ant Prisco
30 grams.
Joe Santagato
Which is what, a third of it?
Ant Prisco
So. So it's a third of the serving size of sugar is essentially what it's saying.
Joe Santagato
But. And if a serving side. You're putting, like, close to a cup and a half in this fucking bowl, baby.
Frank Albert
No, I'm not.
Joe Santagato
You're going to.
Frank Albert
Frank, whatever. The biggest bowl in my house is.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
Is getting filled to the brim and then refilled.
Joe Santagato
I love how we have somehow. And by we, I mean me. But you're in this with me now, baby. Convinced ourselves that sugary cereal is still, in a way, healthy.
Frank Albert
Oh, I. Yeah, I.
Joe Santagato
That ship has sailed. I know, I know.
Ant Prisco
So Frosted Flakes is 10.3 grams of sugar per, but Fruity Pebbles is 10.
Joe Santagato
Whoa, hold on, hold on. But Fruity Pebbles is basically.
Frank Albert
I mean, now. Now we're.
Joe Santagato
Now I'm on a diet.
Ant Prisco
Now.
Frank Albert
I'm on a diet.
Joe Santagato
Fruity Pebbles.
Frank Albert
I'm on a diet.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. If anything, Fruity Pebbles. The thing with Fruity Pebbles better for you than Frosted Flakes.
Frank Albert
The thing with, though, is actually, it's probably not just because they're so small. I can get rid of the half a bag.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Without even going by serving size.
Frank Albert
It all.
Joe Santagato
It all equates, like.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
They're saying a serving size. A serving size of Frosted Flakes might be a hundred Frosted Flakes, where a serving size of Fruity pebbles might be 500, because. Sure, sure, sure.
Frank Albert
But I. I definitely think I could eat the bag of Fruity Pebbles in two sittings. And the Frosted Flakes might take me.
Joe Santagato
I love Fruity Pebbles. For the first minute and a half that I have that bowl there. After that, it becomes.
Frank Albert
You guys are crazy.
Joe Santagato
I like a little soggy cereal. No, I'm sorry. It basically becomes like toilet water. Like, I'm. It like, sops up and becomes like, a Frank.
Frank Albert
If that's what toilet water tastes like, give me a swirly.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Okay.
Frank Albert
Flush it and let it drain in.
Joe Santagato
You want to be. You want to head in there, right? That was crazy.
Ant Prisco
Cinnamon toast crunch, 9.7.
Frank Albert
Literally a diet. Literally, I'm on a diet.
Joe Santagato
That's crazy, because they've also mastered what breakfast cereal is. We've said.
Frank Albert
We've.
Joe Santagato
We've done this before, and we'll say it again.
Frank Albert
Best cereal.
Joe Santagato
That's the best cereal. That's s tier for you. Yeah, maybe sometimes you get a shrimp tail in there. Did that happen? That was them. You don't remember?
Ant Prisco
That was the guy having lunch?
Joe Santagato
No, the guy, like, poured out a bowl and he got, like, a cinnamon frosted shrimp tail, which I'm going to go out on a limb for. I would think it was like a sweepstakes.
Frank Albert
I'd be like, oh, lucky.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah. But that. Where we come from, the days of, like, you open up a cereal box and there's, like, a PlayStation 1 demo disc in there. Does that not happen now? They do, like, crackerjack prizes where it's like, tear this paper off and it's a model tax book or some.
Frank Albert
I hated when cereals, like, they don't have toys in them and they're like, oh, just, you know, mail it in for a rebate. I'm like, bro, I still, to this day, I have no idea what a rebate is.
Joe Santagato
And I'll tell you. I'll.
Frank Albert
I'm not participating.
Joe Santagato
I'm. I'll never figure it out because I need to stand in solidarity with you.
Frank Albert
Oh, I need to. We need to mail this in, and
Joe Santagato
then we'll send it.
Frank Albert
It's not happening.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, you get a $200 mail in rebate. I'm not. I'm not doing work. Want me to get up and do work after I just gave you all my money?
Frank Albert
I'm not paying for this for you. To mail me money back.
Joe Santagato
What do we do? I'm like, so what? So in a month and a half, I get a check for a hundred bucks. You Kellogg's?
Frank Albert
Yeah. I'm not. I'm not doing. I mean, what are you so pensively looking up now?
Ant Prisco
Just making sure if you ask for more cereals that I had any and I have none.
Joe Santagato
I mean, what are. What, what is another. We need to know. Give me. Give me Honeycombs.
Ant Prisco
I don't.
Joe Santagato
Because. Or Corn Pops. I'm a little. When Corn Pops used to come in the bag that looks like it was sent to space.
Frank Albert
Oh, they got rid of that?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
The Area 51 bag.
Ant Prisco
Yes.
Joe Santagato
Now it's in a regular ass bag. Oh, my God, such nuts.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
I don't know what, how many grams are going off of, but it says 15 grams per serving.
Frank Albert
That's higher than I thought.
Joe Santagato
That's not that low. I was expecting it to be low.
Frank Albert
Pops are kind of ass.
Joe Santagato
Come on now.
Frank Albert
You like them.
Joe Santagato
I kind of like. Oh, Apple Jacks.
Frank Albert
Yeah, Apple Jacks are great.
Joe Santagato
Apple Jacks.
Frank Albert
Corn Pops are like.
Joe Santagato
I like Corn Pops. Gotta have my pops.
Frank Albert
You know what I like? Kicks.
Joe Santagato
Berry Berry kicks. Now we're talking. But that's another one getting crazy.
Frank Albert
This is dessert. Now.
Ant Prisco
I know.
Frank Albert
Berry.
Joe Santagato
Berry kicks. Like, that was another one that was just like a healthier alternative. Like if you, if you were in. If you were in elementary school and like, someone found out you had kicks. Be like, all right, you all. What are you, you know.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You think you're a model of health? Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Do you know any grown adults that like non honey Cheerios?
Joe Santagato
No. I'm going to go one step further. Cheerios kind of suck.
Frank Albert
Honey Nut Cheerios are fantastic.
Ant Prisco
Honey nuts.
Joe Santagato
They don't suck my nuts.
Frank Albert
You don't like Honey Nut Cheerios?
Joe Santagato
For real? They could suck my nuts. Frosted Cheerios.
Frank Albert
Oh, well, hey, time to grow up, though.
Joe Santagato
Okay?
Frank Albert
You graduated.
Joe Santagato
You're the one that just said you'd eat a box of Fruity Pebbles and two poles. Who needs to grow up?
Frank Albert
I said I would eat it in one sitting, like a grown up. And I also haven't done that in two years. That's recent, but two years ago.
Joe Santagato
That's. That's really two years ago.
Frank Albert
Yeah, I wanted like a little cereal kick because I was like, I'll just eat everything else because I. I hadn't eaten cereal in like, literally like six years.
Joe Santagato
Okay. To treat yourself a little bit.
Frank Albert
I'm just saying I fell into a hole and it was a deep, deep dirt rabbi.
Joe Santagato
Yep, yep, yep.
Frank Albert
And it was a deep, dark rabbit hole. And I was just buying cereal. Then I was just crushing God.
Joe Santagato
Let's get cereal in here.
Frank Albert
See, this is why it's good that,
Joe Santagato
like, we talk this stuff out.
Frank Albert
Well, just, just let's get cereal in here.
Joe Santagato
It's so stupid.
Frank Albert
No, but it's good that, like, you know, if I lived alone. Oh my God, dude.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I would be like an idiot. Well, I did live alone and I did eat like an idiot.
Frank Albert
Oh, do you remember the big boxes where it was like three of them?
Joe Santagato
Oh, well, you'd get them from, like, Costco.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You go to Costco and it would be a like, time machine box and it would have three bags in there, which you could never get back in. Once you open the bag.
Frank Albert
No, no.
Joe Santagato
Once you. Once it's open and you open the box, it's done. And it would be like. But see, this is how they'd get you. They'd put a shitty one in there. It'd be like Apple Jacks, Froot Loops and then Honey Smacks or something.
Frank Albert
Or like Rice Krispies, which are good.
Joe Santagato
I love Rice Krispies.
Frank Albert
You gotta add sugar.
Joe Santagato
I love hearing that talk to you in like Spanish and like that. That's what I imagine. Like, people that watched the Turning Point USA halftime show thought that the, like, Bad Bunny halftime show sounded like like snap, crackle, pop. Just like a. Like a bull. Like, those people are like, I'm not listening to this. And to them it just sounds like.
Frank Albert
You interpreting the sound that Rice Krispie makes as his, like Hispanic or Spanish.
Joe Santagato
I'm saying, I imagine that's what they thought it sounded like because they're the idiots, not me.
Ant Prisco
Right.
Joe Santagato
I'm not.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And what's your favorite cereal? If you. All right. Because we. We've talked about it. Give us your top three Frosted Flakes. Yeah.
Frank Albert
Number one.
Ant Prisco
I think so.
Joe Santagato
I think it's changeable, doesn't it? You don't need to order.
Frank Albert
I respect it.
Ant Prisco
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, yeah.
Ant Prisco
And then respectful Cocoa. Cocoa Pebbles. Yes.
Frank Albert
Oh, you're not a puff guy.
Ant Prisco
No.
Joe Santagato
I'll tell you this. I don't know what it is because I'm 99. Sure. It's not actual flavor Fruit flavors. Trix is amazing.
Frank Albert
I used to with tricks when they were shapes.
Joe Santagato
There's. They're back to shapes, brother.
Frank Albert
That's.
Joe Santagato
They've come. They've come all the way back to shapes. Cuz they were balls for a while.
Frank Albert
Yeah. When it was all balls. I'm like, this is too much balls.
Joe Santagato
They put a lot of balls in there and now they're back to shapes.
Frank Albert
I like shapes.
Joe Santagato
I also love my Lucky Charms. I know. Grow up. I know, I know. I need to.
Frank Albert
No, they're overrated.
Joe Santagato
But I would never go as far
Ant Prisco
as I would say they're not very good.
Frank Albert
You know what sucks, actually? I don't know if they suck Golden Grams.
Joe Santagato
Dude. If you're good and bad, Honey Smacks or Golden Grams, just do all.
Frank Albert
We ate a lot of Honey Smacks growing up, but they taste like a old brown house.
Joe Santagato
Yep. Like, you would need to, like, read, like, a first edition of, like, the Hobbit when you had that.
Frank Albert
When I. When I'm eating Honey Smacks, I'm thinking of the original wizard of Oz and like that in the beginning. That's like a little dog. Like, I'm thinking of her.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, the neighbor. Whatever that idiot's name was.
Frank Albert
Wasn't she the witch?
Joe Santagato
She ended up being the witch. It was played by Margaret Hammers. Correct. I would imagine that, like, the people that ate Honey Smacks also, like, regularly had, like, framed burlap sacks on their wall and ran an antique shop and,
Frank Albert
like, play with tops.
Joe Santagato
Pogs.
Frank Albert
What's that?
Joe Santagato
Remember Pogs? They were weird. They were right before pogs. It was like 1993, 1994. They were like little cardboard circles with, like, characters on them. And, like, it was like the slammer and it was like a card game before. Oh, I thought you.
Frank Albert
I thought you were saying Pog. Like, Pog. Like a. Never mind.
Ant Prisco
You got it.
Frank Albert
You know. You know what's a pog? You know what I'm talking about?
Ant Prisco
Pog. I'm going to say no, you know,
Joe Santagato
I know what's a pog?
Frank Albert
It's a. It's a porn term.
Joe Santagato
Okay, you've lost me.
Frank Albert
Well, it's spelled P A W, G. So I'll let you, like, come up with something.
Joe Santagato
Is it an acronym for something? Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Can't wait.
Frank Albert
Just so we're clear, this is Frank figuring out for the first time what pog.
Joe Santagato
What a POG is. So it's. It's. It's pawg. So it's used as, like, it's an acronym. An acronym. But, like, it's used to describe someone or something. Both. So, like,
Ant Prisco
without a hint, it's gonna be tough.
Joe Santagato
Pretty Ass wipe. Gentleman.
Frank Albert
Okay, you're, like, close, but gentleman's crazy.
Joe Santagato
Pretty ass widow.
Frank Albert
Guy.
Ant Prisco
Guy.
Joe Santagato
What the hell are you. What was that? Bog G. The guy The G's a guy guy.
Frank Albert
It's not widow guy. Okay, go back to the last one you did.
Joe Santagato
Pretty ass
Frank Albert
with no Frank. Think racism. It's porn titles.
Joe Santagato
Oh, I don't want to do that.
Frank Albert
Well, think of race. Think of race.
Joe Santagato
Pretty ass white.
Frank Albert
Now we're getting somewhere.
Joe Santagato
Gay.
Frank Albert
No, no, no, no.
Joe Santagato
Pretty ass white.
Ant Prisco
There's one other G word. I think there's yes.
Frank Albert
No.
Ant Prisco
Oh, there's two. There's two others.
Joe Santagato
This is a.
Frank Albert
Don't overthink it. It's like, you know, this is a thing that's happening between this and that.
Joe Santagato
A pretty ass white girl.
Frank Albert
Yeah, but the. It's not pretty. Think 90s. Think 90s.
Joe Santagato
Posh. Posh. You think it's Spice Girls?
Frank Albert
No, no, think 90s. And, like, cool. Like. Oh, that's cool. That's.
Joe Santagato
That's
Frank Albert
P with a P. But it doesn't sound like a P. It doesn't sound like a P. No, it sounds like a different one if you ask.
Joe Santagato
Oh, is it fat?
Frank Albert
Oh, fat ass white girl.
Joe Santagato
That's mean.
Frank Albert
No, it's about her. It's a woman.
Ant Prisco
No, it's about. It's about the butt. It's about the butt.
Frank Albert
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's not like.
Joe Santagato
It's not like a fat ass.
Frank Albert
No, it's like a fat ass white girl. It's a porn term. So when you said pogs, I was like, what?
Joe Santagato
No, this is pog. Yeah, different Pog.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And I would say P, H, A T. Fat. It was like an early to mid 2000s thing, because. Was it Fat Farm?
Frank Albert
Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah. My ears were off.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, Because a fat farm.
Frank Albert
I remember. I remember in Meet the. Where he goes into. Or maybe the second one or whatever the. Or maybe that was.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, it was the parents was the first one. Meet the Fockers was the second. Little Fockers was the third.
Frank Albert
It was the second one. And then he goes into, like, the kid's bedroom and he's like, oh, Lil Kim, she's fat. P, H, A T. I always remember that.
Joe Santagato
That's funny.
Frank Albert
Oh, we have more sponsors. Oh, yeah. Horrible spot.
Joe Santagato
Not for long. We keep talking about pogs.
Frank Albert
It's all right, they'll cancel them.
Joe Santagato
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Frank Albert
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Joe Santagato
You were talking about. You were explaining pogs. Yeah, can you look up the 90s pogs just to show him. You might know if you might recognize it.
Frank Albert
Like a, like a. It's a.
Joe Santagato
It was like a little like cardboard circle and like, it was like a game. And like it came with like the Power Rangers on it. Jurassic Park.
Frank Albert
Oh, the game. Do the game. Did you say you had another one of these games?
Ant Prisco
Oh, you want to. You want a riddle?
Frank Albert
Yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Fuck, I hate these goddamn riddles.
Ant Prisco
Okay, so all you have to do is tell me how many horses are in the stable?
Joe Santagato
What stable?
Ant Prisco
Whichever stable is in your mind. How many horses are there? Okay, Ready?
Joe Santagato
Three.
Ant Prisco
What? It didn't happen yet. Oh, here we go. How many horses are there?
Joe Santagato
I counted six. One, two, three, four, five.
Frank Albert
Are these multiple.
Joe Santagato
Are you nine maybe?
Frank Albert
Actually, I'm gonna say two.
Joe Santagato
I said nine.
Ant Prisco
There were five.
Joe Santagato
Come on now.
Ant Prisco
Five. There were five.
Frank Albert
All right.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagato
I'm gonna fucking walk because, you know, I hate these. And you guys, this is what happened. I'm not in on this one. You guys get them first, and then I have to sit here like an idiot.
Ant Prisco
How about now?
Frank Albert
Three.
Joe Santagato
Three.
Ant Prisco
There were three.
Frank Albert
I got it.
Ant Prisco
You got it?
Frank Albert
I got it.
Joe Santagato
I said three.
Frank Albert
Two.
Joe Santagato
Just because he said it.
Ant Prisco
Now you go first.
Joe Santagato
Six.
Frank Albert
I said three.
Ant Prisco
One. There's one.
Joe Santagato
I'm going to get very angry, but I'm. I'm trying to.
Frank Albert
Son of a.
Ant Prisco
Shut up. Can you get it this time?
Frank Albert
What?
Ant Prisco
The
Joe Santagato
Six. Five.
Ant Prisco
There were six.
Frank Albert
I got it now. How?
Joe Santagato
How?
Frank Albert
I have it.
Joe Santagato
I got it.
Frank Albert
Hit me again.
Joe Santagato
Slow. Very slow, please. One, two, three. One, two.
Ant Prisco
Last try.
Joe Santagato
Two, three. One, two, five.
Ant Prisco
Two. There were two.
Frank Albert
Oh, my God.
Joe Santagato
I'm so.
Frank Albert
Got it.
Joe Santagato
I'm so.
Frank Albert
Got it. I got it.
Joe Santagato
Pick up that fucking phone.
Ant Prisco
You want to try again? Do you? What do you think's going on?
Joe Santagato
It's got to be something that you're doing with your hands.
Ant Prisco
That has to be. Has to be something. I'm doing my hands.
Joe Santagato
All right, so put your hands down and do it.
Ant Prisco
Well, I can't because.
Joe Santagato
So it is his hands. So it is his hands. Go again. Okay, go ahead. That was.
Ant Prisco
How many horses are there now?
Joe Santagato
Seven.
Ant Prisco
There were six.
Joe Santagato
I. I swear to God, I'm gonna flip this table over.
Frank Albert
Well, how'd you get to seven?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, what was seven?
Joe Santagato
I'm watching his hands, and then he. He went like this. So I thought it was like an upside down 7. So do it and keep your hands here.
Ant Prisco
All right, all right, all right.
Joe Santagato
Stop. I lost it.
Ant Prisco
You blinked.
Joe Santagato
You blinked again. Start again.
Ant Prisco
That matters. What about 10 now? 10?
Joe Santagato
10?
Frank Albert
I'm gonna say three.
Ant Prisco
It's three.
Joe Santagato
Come on, guys.
Frank Albert
I figured it out.
Joe Santagato
Oh. I like being in on inside jokes when I'm inside them. I bet you do.
Ant Prisco
I don't know how much more I could help. You want one more?
Frank Albert
All right, make it as obvious as you can. Three.
Joe Santagato
One, two, three.
Ant Prisco
Now three.
Joe Santagato
Three minus two plus one. So two.
Ant Prisco
How many, Joe?
Joe Santagato
It's like.
Ant Prisco
It's like this one. It was one.
Joe Santagato
Wait, didn't I. No, I said two because you did. One, two, three. So it's that. Yeah, minus that. So three, minus two, plus one. So two.
Ant Prisco
Okay. All right. Maybe you're getting close. You're not. Here we go.
Joe Santagato
1, 2, 3, 4.
Ant Prisco
Now it doesn't matter. Ready? How many horses are in the stable now?
Joe Santagato
Is it like. Is there multiplication involved? So three plus three times two. 12, eight.
Frank Albert
Can I do it?
Joe Santagato
Sure. Do it to him, Frank.
Ant Prisco
Do it to him.
Frank Albert
I'm going to get you to get this.
Ant Prisco
And I'll answer. I'll answer.
Joe Santagato
So now, now I'm going to split seconds. Take a sip because I'm, I'm.
Frank Albert
What is that? What are you drinking, by the way?
Joe Santagato
That's tea.
Frank Albert
That's tea. It looks like dehydrated urine.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, maybe it is.
Ant Prisco
Looks like something from Jurassic Park. That would attract.
Joe Santagato
It's. It's sparkling tea. Oh.
Frank Albert
Ready? How many horses?
Joe Santagato
Six.
Ant Prisco
I think there's three.
Frank Albert
No, Right.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Albert
How do I, how do I.
Ant Prisco
Well, there were three.
Frank Albert
Yes, yes.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Albert
How do I.
Ant Prisco
Good luck.
Joe Santagato
Okay, here we go. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Ant Prisco
No, no, no.
Frank Albert
I'm doing you a favor.
Joe Santagato
Hold on
Frank Albert
now.
Joe Santagato
Three.
Ant Prisco
I think there was one.
Frank Albert
You know there's one.
Ant Prisco
I know there's one.
Frank Albert
Frank. Why am I doing this?
Joe Santagato
I, I, it. Maybe it's not so. It's, it's the cycling of these. So it starts with snaps and then it goes to a different cycle and then it goes to a different cycle. So that's three different cycles. Things
Frank Albert
about the other times we've played the game, right?
Joe Santagato
Yo, I'm gonna come over there. Pour that milk down your. You said he was stupid.
Ant Prisco
You're stupid.
Joe Santagato
I'm gonna pour that milk down your fucking throat.
Ant Prisco
All right, Joe, maybe you just gotta go real slow. Try.
Frank Albert
Okay, ready? How many horses?
Joe Santagato
Three.
Ant Prisco
Yes.
Joe Santagato
Okay, try it again
Frank Albert
now.
Joe Santagato
Three. No, I thought you had it.
Ant Prisco
There's one.
Joe Santagato
Why was there one?
Ant Prisco
Why was there three before?
Frank Albert
Dammit. I thought you were on it.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah. I fucking hate these little bar tricks. You go to fucking bars too much. You fuck. And you fuck you too. You know what?
Ant Prisco
This.
Joe Santagato
You earn a bitch. Here, write that down. YouTube bitch. Can you just tell me?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, I guess. Just reveal it now.
Frank Albert
All right, Wait, wait.
Joe Santagato
Let me do it.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagato
And then you tell me how many horses there are. How many horses I are in the stable. Okay, sure. How many?
Frank Albert
Two.
Ant Prisco
Two?
Joe Santagato
I thought I was thinking like five, but I don't know how I.
Frank Albert
Clearly that's not. How would we both say two?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, we both said two. How do we come up with that? Same time.
Frank Albert
Think about everything.
Ant Prisco
Yeah,
Joe Santagato
I'm gonna do it again.
Ant Prisco
All right, but then, but then count down from three and we'll say It. At the same time.
Joe Santagato
Okay. Yeah. Three, two, one. Zero. Yeah.
Frank Albert
Zero. I guess.
Joe Santagato
Okay.
Frank Albert
All right, now we have to tell him. It's just the amount of words you
Ant Prisco
say after when you ask the question.
Joe Santagato
Yo, I fucking hate. That's why when you were like, so, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again.
Frank Albert
How many horses?
Joe Santagato
Three.
Frank Albert
Yeah. You had to count that.
Joe Santagato
God.
Frank Albert
Good job.
Joe Santagato
That's what he was like, how many horses are in the stable?
Frank Albert
My hands are underneath. I'm like, how many horses in it?
Joe Santagato
I hate that so much.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I just don't. I. Because you know why? Because I fixate on one thing there, and I think, like, there's something in that thing, like the hand things that I'm not getting.
Frank Albert
I always think that when he brings up one of those, that it's like, it can't be the obvious one, so
Joe Santagato
I'm trying to think of everything. I'm glad you think that, because I don't. So that's why you get it. And I do not. I fail.
Ant Prisco
It was fun from this side of the club, for sure.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. You pointing at me and saying that I'm stupid. I'm not kidding. Take another whiff of that milk right now. I feel like, pledge, do it.
Frank Albert
I feel like that. Do you think that's, like, a very offensive thing someone said, like, could say
Joe Santagato
to you that you're stupid?
Frank Albert
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
But, like, obviously he didn't. He obviously didn't say it in a serious manner.
Frank Albert
No, no.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I'm not here.
Ant Prisco
Stupid. Well, in that moment, maybe.
Joe Santagato
I'm kidding. I would say that, like, it's so tough because, like, if some random listener said, like, this guy's an actual fucking idiot. Yeah, I wouldn't care. But, like, if someone knows the real person that I am and yeah. Says, like, you're stupid, you're just stupid, or, like, you're not smart. That I would. You know me, I would go into a fucking.
Frank Albert
Well, that's what I mean. I feel like that that's like.
Joe Santagato
Would.
Frank Albert
That would offend you more than, like, other offensive things for some reason.
Joe Santagato
Yes.
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Because I think, like, that is a level of like. Like, you need to really not know me to think that I'm flat out stupid. You know what I mean?
Ant Prisco
Like, defending why he's not stupid.
Joe Santagato
I don't need to defend why I'm not stupid. I know. And the people that know me, like, that's the point that I'm making is, like, the people that know me know I'm not stupid. So, like, if someone were to say it, like, if Joey were to say, like, seriously, like, I just think you're dumb, I'd be like, what the. Like, you know me, you know I'm not. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. I think it's tough because, like, so much of this podcast is us, like, assuming or not even assuming, confidently stating we know something and then being proven wrong. Yeah, not me. Lately, I've been on a roll.
Frank Albert
That was the last episode and happened twice.
Ant Prisco
It's two more than the one before that.
Joe Santagato
That's right, baby. Well, anything up from zero. Yeah, but like, it's now become like a thing. Like, we do it as a joke, you know, thing. Like the, like, these guys know nothing. Where it'll be like, oh, the queen. And it's like, who? You know. And now it's become like a whole pug podcast. A whole podcast, like, sub genre of, like, people just not knowing, like, guys just not knowing things. And people think that's like a bit that we do.
Frank Albert
Yeah, I mean, I definitely, like, know a good bit, but I definitely say things confidently that I'm not sure about.
Joe Santagato
I also don't tout myself as the smartest person in the room today. Like,
Frank Albert
Rank the three of us in order of intelligence.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah, that's really. I honestly would say we're all on equal levels here. I really would.
Frank Albert
Like media trained.
Joe Santagato
Say. Say what you want about the next thing that's coming out of my mouth.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I hadn't known you and then as I've been getting to know you more, I'm like, he's a smart kid.
Ant Prisco
Also. At first you thought I was a.
Joe Santagato
No, I just didn't know you. But like, as I've gotten to know you, I could be like, wow, he's. He's like, you're very well spoken. You know a lot about a good amount of stuff. Like. But like, I didn't know you, so I couldn't have said that. You know what I mean?
Frank Albert
Are you smart?
Ant Prisco
That's for other people to decide, I think.
Frank Albert
Yeah. How are your grades growing up?
Ant Prisco
Very good grades.
Joe Santagato
I don't think that's. I don't think that's the standard. No, no, no.
Frank Albert
I'm just.
Joe Santagato
Because I know people that had great grades that are just fucking idiots. It's fair, I think. I think to be smart, you need to be. Well, like, you need to be well versed in it. Like, not well versed, but, like, able to hold conversation and stuff. And also a part of being smart is Knowing when to say, like, I don't know. And we. That's a part that I think we need to work. That's the part we need to work on. As it left your mouth, you're like,
Frank Albert
well, that's not what we do at all.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, but like, that they're getting. They're not getting the real versions of us here. You know, you got to be able to be like, no, I. I would. I think there are things that you guys are, like, know more about than I do, as there are things that I know more about than you do and stuff like that. But, like, I think in terms of, like, our capacity for intelligence, I would say all of us are pretty close. Like, I wouldn't. I don't think I'm smarter or dumber than either any of you guys.
Frank Albert
What have I done? Why did I bring that up?
Joe Santagato
Now? There are other people that we know that I have full on called idiots.
Frank Albert
Right?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Albert
You know, that was so funny. Oh, my God, dude, that got me good. Well, you have to know when to say, I don't know. That's important. Which we don't know.
Joe Santagato
But like, intelligence is also like your, like, desire to also like your capacity for learning, like, and willingness to learn. Like people that are just like, I know what I know and I'm not learning anything else. I don't care about other perspectives. I think that is a form of an idiot.
Frank Albert
A form of an idiot? Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Stupidity.
Frank Albert
It's one of the genres.
Joe Santagato
It's one of the genres. Who do you think is the smartest in the room?
Frank Albert
I don't know. I was just doing it to stir the pot. I was hoping you had a snap answer.
Joe Santagato
I know a won't give a real answer.
Ant Prisco
The smart answer is no answer. Like you gave. We're all in the same.
Joe Santagato
I mean, but if we're also going to be technical, we do need to look at levels of schooling. If you're saying, what are your. Well, let's just. Let's just. Let's look at the.
Frank Albert
Let's find a way.
Joe Santagato
Let's call a chicken a hen. You know what I'm saying?
Frank Albert
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
What?
Joe Santagato
Exactly. He doesn't know it.
Frank Albert
Yeah, I don't.
Joe Santagato
We got it here.
Ant Prisco
Don't. Don't drag me.
Joe Santagato
You have a degree? College. I do. He does.
Frank Albert
In what?
Ant Prisco
Finance.
Frank Albert
Oh, that's right.
Ant Prisco
And I minored in economics.
Frank Albert
Wow, that sucks.
Ant Prisco
Was it a lot of numbers? No, it was not fun.
Joe Santagato
Where do you go to school? Garglies. Please give it to me.
Ant Prisco
I can't. Please it's got to be more creative.
Joe Santagato
Please give it. Please.
Frank Albert
Where did you go? Like pace or something?
Ant Prisco
Baruch in the city.
Joe Santagato
Oh, Baruch. You're not even gonna give me a satisfaction?
Frank Albert
I can't Gargley's be more obvious, dude. Garglies. You went to Barucho.
Joe Santagato
Let's just try. Let's try that one more time.
Ant Prisco
Time. Sure.
Frank Albert
Oh, he's gone.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Albert
No, there he goes.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. No, it's fair.
Frank Albert
Where'd you go to school?
Ant Prisco
Suck Onies.
Frank Albert
Suck on my balls. University. What did you say? Gargle on these Gargies.
Joe Santagato
Garglies. Oh, so were you. You went to drag them.
Ant Prisco
Drag them?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
What's drag them?
Joe Santagato
Drag them across your nuts. You mean drag your nuts across the face?
Frank Albert
Drag them across your nuts. Does that mean you're dragging your balls across his balls? Where do I fit into all this?
Joe Santagato
What's going on, dude?
Frank Albert
You mean drag him across your nuts?
Joe Santagato
Oh, my God.
Ant Prisco
It's like an alien. It's like an alien that just learned how to make that joke.
Frank Albert
Yeah, right. Sounds like if you act like an AI to make a joke like that.
Joe Santagato
Drag him across a building.
Frank Albert
Their balls and mine.
Joe Santagato
Are you crying?
Frank Albert
Oh, my God, your face is wet.
Joe Santagato
So stupid. In that moment, I was the dumbest person in the room. There.
Frank Albert
We're back. Oh, God.
Joe Santagato
God, that was funny.
Frank Albert
You mean drag him across your nuts? Oh, jeez. Oh, God.
Joe Santagato
Dragging nuts across nuts is. Yeah, that's insane.
Frank Albert
Just.
Joe Santagato
That's so fucking funny.
Frank Albert
Oh, man.
Joe Santagato
God almighty. That's my favorite part of this episode. You can cut everything else out.
Frank Albert
Well, there you have it, folks. That's our episode for this week. Frank, where can they find you? And you're nuts. Come on, let's be mature.
Joe Santagato
Let's be mature here. Okay, Back to being the three smartest people in the room. The Frank Albert is all over social media and patreon.com/the basement yard.
Frank Albert
Okay, we're gonna find you.
Ant Prisco
And find me on Aunt Prisco on Instagram.
Frank Albert
Aunt Pre.
Joe Santagato
Are you on? Stuff these.
Ant Prisco
What's what? Stuff these.
Joe Santagato
Stuff these nuts into your fucking mouth. Stuff these nuts in your nutsack.
Frank Albert
You're.
Joe Santagato
You would be. You would be the gay one with my nuts in your mouth.
Frank Albert
You guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at the basement yard. And that is all.
Joe Santagato
God, that's so funny.
Frank Albert
See you next time.
Joe Santagato
Bye.
Frank Albert
Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off this
Joe Santagato
whole zero sugar energy drink thing.
Frank Albert
But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the monster energy punch.
Joe Santagato
So if you've been living in the
Frank Albert
white can, branch out.
Joe Santagato
Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe,
Frank Albert
and every single one is zero. Sugar Tap the banner to learn more.
Released: March 2, 2026 | Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez | Guest: Ant Prisco
This playful, high-energy episode is quintessential Basement Yard. Joe, Frank, and Ant celebrate the return of “whole milk” in pop culture and riff on everything from nasty milk mishaps to 90s internet nostalgia, viral workout videos, sugary cereals, and being the “smartest” person in the room. Bursting with chaotic humor, friendly banter, and plenty of off-the-cuff confessions, the conversation meanders hilariously between silly challenges and actual social commentary—all in the unmistakable laid-back, raunchy style fans treasure.
On spoiled milk:
On the RFK Jr. / Kid Rock video:
On cereal:
On intelligence:
Joke segment:
Zany, irreverent, and laugh-out-loud funny, this episode is all about childhood throwbacks, gross-out humor, sensational viral videos, and the guys’ signature blend of barstool wisdom and wry self-deprecation. Listeners will walk away remembering bad milk, sugar bombs, and why the internet is both ridiculous and dangerous—and, most of all, why these three are still podcasting’s favorite basement dwellers.